Stephanie's POV
It's been a month since Carlos and Lester left on their mission. I have no idea where he is or what he's working on. The night that he left, I went home and cried myself to sleep. I support Carlos one hundred percent; I know that these missions are what he needs to do. However, it doesn't do anything to lessen the pain of being apart. It is different right now then it was when he was in Ranger school. While there was always a risk of Carlos getting hurt, for the most part, he was safe. Now, he's in some dangerous area, hoping that the intel being sent to him by my counterparts is accurate. I've been working on gathering intel on a terrorist sect in the Middle East, which is demanding in and of itself. I am enjoying my work, and I hope that everything I gather and send off keeps our men safe.
I called Ella the next day and interviewed her the following day. She was perfect. Though I don't really need her help, it's nice having someone around. She comes over on Saturday, so I'm not alone when she does her cleaning. She stays for dinner, so it's nice to have someone to talk to.
I've been feeling a little under the weather for the last two weeks or so. Not sick, per se, but off. I've discovered that I no longer like the smell of peanut butter, that having eggs in the morning makes my stomach turn and that I prefer to drink ginger tea. One of my colleagues was drinking it one day, and it smelled so enticing. I drank some, and it's my new addiction. I spoke to Ella about it when she was here the other day. She thinks I might be pregnant. At first, I told her that it wasn't possible, but then I remembered that Carlos hadn't used condoms since we've been together. I am on the pill, but becoming pregnant on the pill isn't unheard of. So, I have an appointment with an OB/GYN recommended by Ella today, after work. I'm not quite sure how I feel about being pregnant, having a baby right now. I mean, everything is still so new with Carlos and me. It's not what we planned, but he did say he would welcome a baby whenever it happened. I guess I just need to go with the flow, though I'm not sure how I'm going to get through this pregnancy on my own.
I arrived at Dr. Steiner's office promptly at 1630 for my 1645 appointment. I was surprised when Ella walked in five minutes after me. "I knew you'd be here by yourself and felt you would need some support. I hope you don't mind."
"No, Ella, thank you. It's hard not having any family here. Carlos' family is back in New Jersey and Miami. My family doesn't exist, except for my Grandma, but since grandpa isn't doing great, I can't take her away from him."
"I'm sure everything will be fine. Do you want me to come in with you?"
Now, here was a woman that I have only known for a short time, but I felt like I've known her forever. I felt comfortable with Ella and safe. I realized that since Carlos wasn't here, Ella would be the best person to accompany me. "Ella, I'd love that. Thank you."
Once I finished filling out the paperwork, the nurse brought me to the back. She took my weight, my height, took blood for testing, then asked me to give her a urine sample. I took care of that business, then was escorted into an examination room. "Lt. Plum, we are going to perform a sonogram first. Based on the date of your last period, it's too soon to do an external sonogram, so we will be performing an internal one. We will take a probe and place it inside your vagina to your uterus to look for the fetus. It is noninvasive and perfectly safe for both you and the baby. It is the only true way to confirm a pregnancy at this point in time."
"Does it hurt?"
"It doesn't hurt but is often uncomfortable. It's like having sex with a very well-endowed man for the first time. Your body will adjust."
Not that I have much first-hand experience, but I know that Carlos is fairly large. He is bigger than Morelli, and from what I understand from talking to some of my girlfriends, he's bigger than most men. I guess I lucked out with him. I nod my head as the nurse instructs me to remove my clothes from the waist down. I then sit in the chair of torture, with my feet in the stirrups, and my legs spread wide open. I watch as she puts a lubricant of some sort on the penis-shaped probe and then enters. Well, that confirms it, Carlos is a big man. I barely feel the probe entering me. I watch the screen in front of me, not really knowing what I'm looking at. Suddenly, a round circle appears.
"Ah, there we go. That's the fetus. Well, Lt. Plum, you are indeed pregnant. I just need to take a few measurements." Once she finishes her measurements, she looks around some more. "Just making sure there's only one in there."
"Congratulations, you're pregnant, my dear, and based on the measurements, I'd say about five to eight weeks. Dr. Steiner will be with you shortly to discuss the prenatal care you'll need and your appointment schedule."
"Thank you."
"Before you get dressed, I'm just going to perform a pap smear. It's routine."
"Okay."
She once again moves between my legs and does her test. I'm finally allowed to get dressed. Once done, I enter the hallway, where the nurse brings me to the doctor's office. I sit down, with Ella next to me, overwhelmed and elated at the same time.
"Good afternoon, Lt. Plum. It's a pleasure to meet you. My name is doctor Amanda Steiner. Congratulations on your pregnancy. Is this your mother?" She asks, pointing to Ella.
"No, she's a good friend of the family. My family is in New Jersey and Miami."
"Oh, nice to meet you."
"Ella Guzman."
"Ella. Stephanie, you are about five to eight weeks along. When was the date of your last menstruation?"
I give the nurse my personal information and confirm my medical background. Who knew they needed to know the history of my mother's pregnancy with Val and with me?
"Have you ever been pregnant before?"
"Yes."
"How long ago?"
"When I was sixteen."
"And what happened with that pregnancy?"
"I miscarried. I had appendicitis and lost the baby as a result of the rupture."
"I see. Was that a planned pregnancy?"
"No, I was raped."
"I'm sorry. I guess the miscarriage was a blessing then."
"Yes, it was. Dr. Steiner, do you think there is a chance that I will miscarry again?"
"No, I don't. It is highly likely that the previous miscarriage was solely due to appendicitis. It is a common occurrence, especially early in a pregnancy. Now, is the father in the picture?"
"Yes. My husband, Lt. Manoso, is overseas right now. I'm not sure when he'll be returning."
"I understand. I have many women here who are pregnant while their husbands are overseas. We actually have a support group. You may consider attending. It's nice to have a group of people to talk to who understand the emotional drain of being pregnant while your child's father is away, and often, doesn't know. It will help to keep your stress levels down, which is paramount."
"I will consider attending. What else do I need to do?"
"Well, Stephanie, you are in excellent physical condition. I recommend you keep up with your workout regime until it becomes too difficult for you to do. Yoga and swimming are often great to do once other workouts become too taxing. The yoga helps with flexibility, which will be beneficial once you are in labor, and the swimming takes the weight off your joints while allowing you some cardio. In addition, you need to eat healthy, well-balanced meals. Now, regardless of what some women eat and how they exercise, some gain a lot of weight during pregnancy. Other women eat everything in sight and gain very little weight. Each pregnancy is different, and each woman is different. The most important component is that the baby is developing properly. Now, I will monitor the baby's development, so unless I tell you that you need to worry, don't worry."
"Thank you. While I am a little scared, I feel better having you as my doctor."
"I'm glad I can reassure you. You'll do fine, Stephanie. Now, I'll see you in six weeks for a follow-up. Feel free to call the office if you have any questions or problems. I'm always available to answer your questions."
I leave the office and make my next appointment with the receptionist. When we get outside and in my car, I break down.
"Ella, how can I go through this pregnancy without Carlos here? He will be missing out on everything. It's not fair. I can't do this without him." I say through tears.
"My dear, you can do this, and you will. Look, when we get home, I'll take a picture of you. You can take a picture every couple of weeks and create a baby album. That way, he can see your progress. I can even video you talking to him if you want, or I can help you set up the camera. You can write a pregnancy diary. There are many things you can do to document this pregnancy so Carlos can experience it when he returns."
"I don't want to tell our family before he knows. Is that wrong of me?"
"No, Steph, it isn't. Look, you won't be showing for a few months. Hopefully, by the time it becomes obvious that you're pregnant, he'll be home, and you can share that news with Carlos' family together. And if he's not home, you'll them by yourself, but I promise you, knowing the Manoso clan, they will be by your side and supporting you all the way. You won't have to worry about doing anything alone."
"Ella, what if he never makes it home?"
"Then Carlos will live on through your child. Stephanie, creating a baby, is a way of ensuring that neither the mother nor father dies. They live on in their children and continue to live through their grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Once you have a child, you are immortal."
"You think so?"
"Yes, I do. Now, don't think like that. Carlos is a strong, smart young man. He has a lot to live for, in you. Now, once he finds out about this precious gift, he'll have even more reason to survive. Don't worry, Stephanie. Carlos will come home to you."
