At first when the shed had burned down, and Athelstan had moved in with the Lothbroks, he had stayed in Hvitserk's old room. Some nights he would stay with Lagertha and Ragnar, but Hvitserk's room was now 'his' room. Then one night, after a few weeks, Ragnar had come into his room, and they had spent the night together. No one had mentioned it, but when it had happened again, Lagertha had not asked him to spend the night with her and Ragnar for a full week after that. Athelstan had wanted to apologise to her, but he hadn't been given the chance, because as he was about to go to their bedroom to apologise, Lagertha had dragged him in, and the three of them had ended up in bed again, as though the week before had never happened.

But something had changed, and Lagertha had started spending more time with Astrid. She had started staying with her for days, sometimes a full week. At first Athelstan had stayed in his own room, but Ragnar had asked him to stay with him one night, and he had never gone back to his own room.

Everyone in the house had noticed the change, but it has still gone unmentioned. And with Christmas coming up, it doesn't feel like the right time to start a conversation like that.

They all know that it will have to come out sooner or later though. But for now, they are trying to keep the peace, and they are trying to strengthen the family bond again with a nice family dinner.

"Are you sure you're okay with it?" Ubbe asks, and his brother rolls his eyes. "I mean it, Bjorn, if…"

"Me and Torvi, that was years ago. You like her, she likes you… What is the problem?"

"I just don't want you to hate me for it."

"I don't. I'd rather she go out with you than some dickhead I don't know."

"Are you sure?"

"Ask me that one more time, and I swear…," Bjorn warns him, and without giving his brother a chance to say another word, he leaves the room, to join Halfdan and Sigurd on the couch.

"Thank you for inviting me."

"Of course, you're one of us," Bjorn says, and Halfdan wraps an arm around his shoulder, and pulls him close.

"I still don't get why you two are not together." Sigurd shrugs, before getting up to his feet. "It's dumb."

"You'll get it when you're older," Bjorn laughs, as his best friend kisses the top of his head.

"No, I won't. You two are idiots."

The teenager leaves the room, and Bjorn looks up at Halfdan, who has a shy smile on his face. Bjorn still remembers everything that has happened between them, from their first kiss, to their first time, to their final kiss. It breaks his heart, because he loves Halfdan so much, and he knows that Halfdan is still in love with him. And he knows what they could have, if only he could change.

"I…," he begins, wanting to say so many things, but then he kisses Halfdan, who without hesitation, kisses him back. And although it's been so many years, this kiss feels safe, familiar. It feels like homecoming.

Bjorn doesn't want it to end, but Halfdan pulls away, and he sighs.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"I love you, Bjorn."

"I am so sorry," Bjorn whispers, as Halfdan places his hand on the side of his face. He flashes a small smile, before kissing him. "I wish I…"

"I know. Me too."


"Stop!"

"What?" Ivar asks, as he puts his fork down. "We're all here, aren't we?"

"Not yet. Athelstan, he…," Ragnar explains, and the teenager rolls his eyes.

"That again?"

"Yes, that again, Ivar. Now shut up and give him a moment," Ragnar says, and Athelstan shoots him a grateful smile, before bowing his head and taking a moment to say grace in silence.

"Done?" Ivar asks, when Athelstan looks back up.

"Yes, thank you."

"This is dumb," the teenager spits out, and Ragnar is about to open his mouth to tell him off, but Athelstan stops him.

"So, when is your next gig?" Torvi asks, trying to change the subject.

"Why, are you planning on picking up another one of my brothers?"

"Ivar!" Lagertha warns him, but Ivar just shrugs, as he stares down at his plate of food.

"Disappointed I picked Ubbe over you?" Torvi asks, a daring smile on her face.

"As if!"

"Sorry, Ivar. You're a little young for me. A little immature. Like a little boy."

"You stupid…"

"What?" Torvi asks, not backing down. But Ivar decides to set his sights on someone else, and he looks over at Hvitserk.

"Are you still seeing Margrethe?"

"Yeah. We're trying to, you know, get things back on track."

"I could always tell she liked you more."

"She…," Hvitserk begins, his face turning red, and he keeps quiet.

"That's what she said, isn't it?" Ivar asks, before looking at Ubbe to see his reaction. But Ubbe knows that he is only trying to get to him, and he isn't giving into it. "She never really liked Ubbe."

"I don't know." Hvitserk shrugs.

"Why are you doing this?" Sigurd asks. "Why can't you ever just be nice to us?"

"Nice?" Ivar laughs. "I am nice. Aren't I nice, Athelstan?"

"Not right now, you aren't. You are a nice boy, but…"

"Liar," Ivar laughs. "You hate me."

"Stop it," Ragnar warns him, but his son shows him one of his evil smiles, not backing down.

"What is wrong with you?" Ubbe asks, still remaining calm, not letting himself get riled up by his brother. And it is his calmth, that makes Ivar snap.

"Wrong with me? What is wrong with me?" Ivar spits out. "You are all a bunch of…!"

"Don't!" Lagertha warns him.

"You think you're better than us?" Ubbe asks. "What makes you so special, huh?"

"At least I'm not sleeping with my own brother," Ivar says, and a long, tense silence follows. Ubbe looks at Torvi, to see her reaction, but there is none. He then looks at Hvitserk, hoping that he is okay, but the young man is staring down at the table, close to tears.

"We…"

"I assume you have told your little girlfriend about that, haven't you?"

"I…," Ubbe tries, but he can't find any words to say. Because what is there to say? All he wants to do is smack the arrogant grin off of his brother's face, but he can't. Because even after this, Ivar is still his little brother, and he doesn't want to hurt him. He just can't.

"No, you two don't have to explain or defend yourselves," Ragnar then says. "This is supposed to be a nice, quiet, peaceful family dinner. So Ivar?"

"Yes, father?"

"Shut up!"


"Me and Hvitserk, we ehm…"

"I know, Ivar just told me, didn't he?" Torvi says, a mischievous smile on her face.

She is out in the garden, and has been for a little while. Ubbe had been wanting to come out to talk to her, but he had been too scared to. Because what if she will dump him after tonight?

"That's not…"

"I know, Ubbe. I know what Ivar is like. He says things to get into your head." Torvi sighs, as she grabs her boyfriend's hand.

"Me and Hvitserk…"

"Shh, you don't have to explain yourself. Not to me. I like you, Ubbe. A lot."

"Even though…?"

"Even though your little brother is a little shit?" Torvi laughs.

"That's not what I meant."

"I know what you meant. Come here," Torvi says, as she wraps her arms around him. "Don't let him get to you. And don't let him ruin what you and Hvitserk have, okay?"


"Should I talk to Aslaug?"

"She'll only defend him," Lagertha says, as she picks up her jacket. "It's not worth your time."

"But he…"

"Does it to rile us all up, to get attention, to… he thinks he is tough. But Torvi is right, he is just a little boy. He will grow out of this behaviour."

"What if he doesn't?" Ragnar asks, but his partner just shrugs. "He's my son, Lagertha, I can't let him go on like this."

"I don't know, okay?"

"You don't know, or you don't care?"

"That's not fair."

"You're ready to leave," Ragnar says, "This is our family, Lagertha."

"I know that. But…"

"Is that it? Are you leaving?"

"Not now," Lagertha says. "We'll talk later."

"When?"

"I don't know, Ragnar. Just not now. I have to go," Lagertha says, and without saying another word, she leaves the house.

Athelstan, who has overheard the conversation, steps into the living room, and he joins Ragnar on the couch. He grabs his hand, and gives it a squeeze, to let him know that he is here for him.

"I can't lose her."

"Just give her some time."

"Do you think she knows?" Ragnar asks, and the younger man looks up at him.

"Knows what?"

"That I have fallen in love with you."

"Don't do this."

"But Athel…"

"Don't."


Lagertha had come home a few days before Christmas, and they had all gone on as though nothing had happened. But even though the three of them are sharing a bedroom with each other, Lagertha has distanced herself from the two men.

She is keeping up appearances for the children, but when it's just the three of them, she is not the same as she once was. It is as though she has already moved on.

"What is this?" Athelstan asks, when Ragnar leads him into the living room.

It is Christmas morning, and he was planning on preparing breakfast for all of them. But instead, Ragnar had dragged him out of bed, and had told him to close his eyes. So here he is, tripping over his own feet, a little scared at what he is about to walk into.

"Open your eyes."

"Surprise!" Sigurd says, a big smile on his face. He and his brothers, Torvi and Halfdan, are sitting there, surrounded by packages, which isn't a surprise at all, seeing as it is Christmas.

"I'm confused…"

"These are all yours," Bjorn explains. "We put our money together to buy you some new things. We know you lost everything in the fire, so…"

"You didn't have to buy me anything, I…"

"Have one outfit?" Ragnar laughs. He and the boys had been offering their clothes to Athelstan ever since the fire, but he had been rejecting them, telling them that he is fine, he can manage with what he has. Which is only the outfit he had been wearing on the night of the fire.

"We're not taking no for an answer, so you'll just have to accept them," Sigurd says, as he gets up, and hands one of the packages to Athelstan.

"I…," Athelstan begins, but then his emotions take over, and he struggles to get another word out. Sigurd gives him a big hug, and the teenager trying to comfort him only makes Athelstan more emotional, but he appreciates the try. "Thank you, guys. You have no idea how much this means to me. Not the gifts, but…"

"Oh come on," Ragnar laughs. "You act like no one has ever given you anything. You soppy git."

"Shut up," Athelstan laughs, but Ragnar can tell that he has touched on something. So he pulls him into a hug, and brings his mouth up to the younger man's ear.

"Are you okay?"

"I am. Thank you."

"Are you sure?"

"Mhm."


"What happened this morning?"

"Nothing."

"Why did it mean so much?" Ragnar asks, when he and Athelstan are in bed.

Lagertha has just left to go to Astrid, but she will be back tomorrow, to finally have that conversation which they have been dreading for weeks, or perhaps months.

"I'm just grateful, that's all."

"Liar," Ragnar says, and Athelstan can't help but smile. "Tell me."

"I ehm… I didn't lose much, when the shed burned down. Some clothes, paperwork… but nothing personal."

"Photos?"

"No."

"None?"

"None." Athelstan sighs. "When I was Ivar's age, I ran away from home."

"Why?"

"Because all my life, my parents had been abusing each other, and I was sick of it. I couldn't stand seeing them hurting each other anymore. So I left, but I took nothing. Just some clothes, some money…"

"No photos."

"I'm not even sure if my parents have any. But they… they never cared for me," Athelstan explains. "What you and your family did for me, showing me," he continues, but then he stops himself.

"Love?"

"Yes. No one has ever done that for me. It just got to me, that's all."

"You're family, Athelstan. They love you."

"I'm not sure if I deserve it though. I was not a good person, Ragnar," Athelstan admits. "I worked hard, to make my way out there. But I was never taught how to be good. So I… I messed up."

"You had an affair with a married woman?"

"Yes. Judith. I was young, and stupid. Her husband was my boss, and he was good to me, but… No one had ever shown me that kind of, well, any kind of…"

"Attention," Ragnar suggests, and the younger man nods.

"I should have told her no, but I didn't. And by the time I realised what I was doing, her husband had found out."

"What happened?"

"He fired me, I lost my home, I ended up on the street," Athelstan explains. "That's when I…"

"Found God?" Ragnar asks, and Athelstan gets a shy smile on his face.

"Yes."

"And what happened to Judith and her husband?"

"I'm not sure. But I regret what happened, Ragnar, I…"

"You are human. That is all."

"What I did was wrong."

"She was married, Athelstan. She chose to have an affair, you…"

"Have a responsibility."

"And look at you now," Ragnar laughs. "Sleeping with a man who has a partner."

"Screw you, Ragnar," Athelstan laughs. But Ragnar rolls on top of him, and pins down his hands above his head. "You are such a…"

"A what? Huh?"

Ragnar starts kissing Athelstan's neck, slowly making his way down to his chest. But just as Athelstan closes his eyes, and lets himself get lost in it, the door opens, and Sigurd comes storming in.

"Dad, I…!"

"What the…!" Ragnar spits out, as he rolls off of Athelstan. He quickly covers him and Athelstan up with the covers, but Sigurd has already seen what was going on, and his face is about as flushed as it can get. "Learn to knock, will you?"

"But I…?"

"What?"

"The wi-fi doesn't work," Sigurd mumbles.

"Then ask your brother."

"He's with Torvi… I think they're having sex…"

"So were we, for fuck sake!" Ragnar says, and he looks at Athelstan, who is trying really hard not to laugh, but failing miserably. "Go read a book or something. Go to sleep, I don't care."

"But I…"

"Sigurd!"

"Sorry…," the teenager mumbles. "I didn't realise you were…"

"Go away."

Sigurd leaves the room, closing the door behind him, but before the door has even closed, Athelstan has burst into laughter, unable to keep it in any longer.

"Seriously?" Ragnar asks, shaking his head. "The fucking wi-fi…"