Chapter 36
Sharing the Burden
Author's note: just to not get in trouble, I should remind everyone that I don't own anything YuGiOh. I just own my characters and Dark Mage of the Sea owns hers.
WARNING: this chapter features memories of abuse and my interpretation of Adopt-shipping. If you are triggered by such things, please feel free to skip this chapter.
When a sentence is ~like this~, it's phoenix speech.
Thank you, Dark Mage of the Sea, my coauthor and best friend.
As time went on, Tiki enjoyed the routine of her life. Her classes were still demanding, especially with each new musical they put on. She did manage to get Kaiba and Mokuba to come to her performances, even though she either part of the chorus or a side character. Kaiba told her he would only come to a show where she would be on stage; any show where she worked backstage, only Mokuba would go. Knowing how Kaiba felt about art, she knew she could not ask for anything less.
She was also enjoying her time at the penthouse; everyone who worked at the penthouse enjoyed having her as well. The chef especially liked her as she insisted on helping, either with suggesting meals or prepping the ingredients. One day, she had gotten home from classes and was looking for something to do. After making a suggestion to the chef about that night's dinner, she started going around the penthouse, tidying up little messes. She chuckled to herself. "I'm so glad Seto and Mokuba are tidy boys. Makes things easier for me and Kelsey."
Getting to the office, she noticed a stack of books on his desk. Thinking Kaiba had no time to put them away before work and that Kelsey the maid had not cleaned the office yet, she got to work. But they were heavier than she expected: she picked up the pile and stumbled under the weight. A couple books fell and scattered across the floor. Embarrassed, she first put away the books that remained in the pile. She then focused on the scattered books. Her attention, however, went to one in particular. It fell open to reveal it was a fake book that appeared to have held another, smaller book. A quick look around revealed the smaller, black book. It had opened in the fall, revealing itself to be a journal. She looked at the book and recognized the kanji writing as Kaiba's. "Is this Seto's journal? But why hide it?"
Looking a little closer, she noticed the handwriting seemed to be of a small child's. "Wait…is this from his childhood? From when he was in the orphanage?"
While she did not like snooping, her curiosity got the better of her. Taking the journal, she sat in Kaiba's chair and started to read.
That bastard hit me today. I am starting to regret that chess game. But I promised Mokuba a good life. As long that monster keeps his hand off my brother, I will take anything he gives me.
Tiki's eyes widened as her heart broken. "I was right…he was abused…"
She continued to read. The more she read, the more tears formed in her eyes. The pages documents a few more times he was hit. While his arms and legs were hit from time to time, his chest was the usual target. Tiki wondered if it was these beatings that led to Kaiba wearing clothing that never showed any skin. The other thing that was noted was that the child took the beatings in silence so they would not return to the orphanage, a life Young Seto did not want for Mokuba. As she continued to read, tears continued to fall down her face. Just as she started to turn another page, the journal was suddenly snatched from her hands. Startled, she looked up and saw Kaiba standing there with the journal. He looked both shocked and fear; the look made Tiki feel very nervous. "Seto…"
Kaiba lowered his head a little. He whispered under his breath, "Out…"
Tiki could not hear him. She was almost too scared to ask for him to repeat. Taking a deep breath, she asked quietly, "W-What?"
Kaiba snapped his head up, showing the same unemotional eyes he had when he ripped up Solomon's Blue Eyes White Dragon. "OUT!"
More scared than before, she jumped out of the chair. She reached out to him but paused. While his eyes were unemotional, there was something deeper in his eyes: it looked like a plea for her to leave. She lowered her head and left. Closing the door but not enough for it to latch, she took a moment. While she was still horrified by what she read, she was also scared by Kaiba's reaction. 'Seto…I…'
Just then, Mokuba and Itami poked their heads out of Mokuba's room. Mokuba asked, "Tiki, what's going on? I heard Nii-sama yelling."
She looked at the two and started to open her mouth. Before she could answer, however, Itami spoke to her. ~No, Tiki. Get Mokuba out of here. I'll take care of this.~
Tiki looked at Itami. She could tell by Mokuba's lack of reaction that Itami spoke to her alone. Not even Tarra had ever given her a private message. But she decided to trust the phoenix. "Mokuba, you hungry?"
Mokuba blinked, a little confused. "Um…a little but…"
Tiki did not let him talk further: she gently took his hand and headed to the front door. As she pushed Mokuba towards the door, she looked at Itami and mouthed, "Help him."
Itami nodded. Once she heard them leaving, the phoenix flew into the office. She discovered Kaiba had collapsed onto his chair with his face buried in his hands and he was shaking. She could sense that something happened that shook him but she could not sense exactly what it was. ~Seto?~ He did not answer. ~Seto, what's wrong?~
Kaiba did not response; he did not even acknowledge that she was in the room. Getting worried, she flew over to the desk and nuzzled his hair. ~Seto, talk to me. What happened?~
After a minute, Kaiba murmured something. It was not clear enough, though, for her to hear him. Before she could ask him to repeat, he spoke a little louder with a numb voice. "She found it…"
A little confused, Itami looked around and saw the journal. Using her foot, she opened it and read a line. Her eyes immediately sparkled, as if understanding. Closing the journal again, she went back to nuzzling his hair. ~I'm here…~
After a minute, Kaiba reached up and caressed her head. Taking a deep breath, he asked, "Do you…know…?"
Itami sadly nodded. ~Even though you don't believe, our bond is extremely strong. Because of that…I know that horrible secret you buried deep inside you.~
Kaiba looked up at his phoenix. If it was anyone else, he would have been furious that his secret was found out. To his surprise, though, he was not upset that Itami knew. Taking a stabling breath, he massaged her head even more. "Please…keep it a secret…no one must know.~
Itami leaned into his massages. ~Of course. You are my Guardian and I will respect your wishes. But…if I may…~ she locked eyes with him, ~…you should eventually tell her.~
Kaiba pulled back in his chair, his face turning hard. "Never."
Itami gave him a look. ~Seto…~
Wanting to end the conversation, Kaiba got of his chair and went to his window. Itami stayed on the desk but she continued "talking." ~Seto…you need to tell her your past. I mean…she already knows a great deal thanks to Noah.~
Kaiba did not look at her. But his eyes lowered a little as he remembered…
Kaiba looked out the window of the Blue Eyes White Train and suddenly remembered: thanks to Noah, Tiki now knew most of his past. "Tiki…"
Tiki looked at him. "Yes, Seto?"
Kaiba gave her a warning glare. "If you tell anyone anything you've seen…"
Tiki sat up a little, spooked by the look on his face. Kaiba stayed silent. 'Go ahead…give me a reason to shut you up for good. Now that you know everything—"
His thoughts were interrupted by her reaction: she smiled softly and asked, "Who said I was going to tell?"
Kaiba's glare morphed into a shocked look. "…What?"
Tiki kept smiling. "I said…who said I was going to tell?"
Kaiba stayed silent. 'She knows…and will keep it secret? Why…? This has to be a trick.'
Tiki faced him and touched his hand. "If you really doubt me, Seto, don't. I give you my word. A person's past is very private and it's up to that person to share with someone they can trust. What Noah did was disgusting…invading your mind like that and making you relive those moments. But you have my word: my lips are forever sealed."
Kaiba stared into her eyes, making her blush. He saw in Tiki's eyes nothing but truth and something unknown yet very warm. Confused, he took his hand back and looked out the window. "Well…I'll hold you to that."
The blimp flew away from the fortress seconds before the missile hit. The explosion rocked the ship, knocking all but Kaiba off their feet. Tiki clung to Kaiba for stable footing. Seconds later, Kaiba pushed her away and ran to the cockpit. Fuguta looked up. "Master Seto! The ship can't withstand this!"
Kaiba jumped into the main seat. "Transfer all control to me!"
Just then, he heard Gozaburo's voice roar his name as the ship became surrounded by flames. "Gozaburo! I will not be shallowed by you! Never again!"
He hit the emergency button: the blimp's balloon was destroyed, transforming the ship into a jet plane that managed to fly to safety. He sighed in relief. As he got up, he saw Tiki in the doorway and the look on her face. He realized she heard him and suspected she figured out the rest. But she said, "Looks like we're safe."
Mentally sighing that she was still in the dark, he nodded and started to pass her. But he paused and said, "Don't forget your promise…to not tell anyone what you learned."
Taking a chance, Tiki touched his hand and smiled softly. "Think of it as me sharing the burden."
He came back when he heard Itami. ~Seto…~
Slightly turning his head, he answered, "I'll think about it."
Itami said nothing, knowing this was the best she would get at the moment.
At a café, Tiki and Mokuba were sharing a chocolate parfait. Tiki was enjoying the treat but Mokuba looked distracted. Noticing, she asked, "What's wrong, Mokuba?"
Mokuba looked at Tiki. "Why was Nii-sama yelling?"
Tiki took another spoonful to give herself a second to think. 'I know Mokuba doesn't know what Seto went through…and it's not my place to tell him.' Swallowing, she shrugged. "Maybe he just had a bad day at work. He's been busy with that new branch in Korea and that new business he bought."
Mokuba thought about it and accepted the answer. "I'll have to remind Nii-sama to not do that, especially to you."
Tiki smiled softly in thanks. As they ate and talked, she kept thinking about the journal she read. 'I shouldn't have snooped…I'll have to apologize as soon as I can.'
That night, Tiki was having trouble sleeping. She kept trying to talk to Kaiba throughout the day but he stayed shut up in his office. He even turned down dinner, claiming he was too busy. To her slight relief, Itami told Tiki and Mokuba that Kaiba was genuinely working. Mokuba accepted this; Tiki was still suspicious. Finally giving up on sleep, she put on her robe and went to his office. She knocked and slightly opened the door. "Seto?"
"Come in."
Silently taking a breath, she came in. Kaiba was working on his computer and did not look up. Closing the door behind her, she started to walk up to the desk. "Seto…it's one in the morning. You should get some sleep."
Kaiba did not look up but answered, "Later; I'm busy."
Taking a deep breath, Tiki got a little closer. "Seto…will you look at me?"
Kaiba did not look up but answered, "Later; I'm busy."
Sighing, Tiki went around the desk and stood next to him. He continued to work, typing fast on his keyboard. Tiki waited to see if he would tell her to go back to bed. When he did not, she asked, "Are you mad at me?"
Still typing, Kaiba answered, "No."
Taking a chance, she asked, "Are you upset that I found the journal?"
Kaiba's fast typing stopped. Tiki's eyes saddened. "Seto…"
Kaiba lowered his head. He did not want to look at her. To his surprise, he felt his chair being turned. He looked up and saw how worried Tiki looked. "Seto…please forgive me. It was wrong of me to read something so personal of yours. I am so sorry."
Kaiba's eyes slightly widened, hearing this. He was not expecting her to apologize. "Tiki…I don't understand. Why…are you apologizing?"
"Because it wasn't right of me to snoop into something of yours. I love you and…I don't want to see you unhappy."
Kaiba was not sure how to react as Tiki kissed his forehead and hugged him. After a second, he hugged her back, pulling her onto his lap. "I'm not upset with you. I just…was shocked."
Tiki accepted the answer. They stayed hugging for a few minutes, enjoying the silence. Eventually, Kaiba loosened his hold. "You should get to sleep."
Tiki nodded and stood up. "You too."
Kaiba nodded and went back to work. When she reached the door, she paused and looked back at him. "I think I told you when we left the Virtual World…but I want to share this burden with you. But only when you're ready."
With that, she went back to bed. Kaiba kept working but was constantly distracted by what Tiki said to him. At 3am, he paused and leaned back in his chair. He thought about the scene he walked in on earlier, where Tiki was reading the journal. He then thought about her wanting to share the burden. Taking a deep breath, he whispered to himself, "I'm ready…"
He got up and headed to her room. When he reached for her doorknob, however, he paused. "Am I…? Is she…?'
He thought about Tiki being horrified by his secret. His hand balled into a fist. "I…I can't…"
Before he could turn away, he heard a soft musical note. It was the song of the phoenix. He looked at the bird tree in front of the stairs, where Itami was looking at him. ~Everything will be all right, Seto. Tiki is waiting for you…and we're here for you. Trust yourself.~
Her gentle tone made him feel more at ease. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and let it out. He opened his eyes and looked at her bedroom door. Nodding, he opened the door and went inside. Itami watched him from her tree stand. ~You can do it, Seto.~
Inside her room, Kaiba took a moment to look around. From the light coming from the window doors, he could see the posters she put up on the walls of her favorite musicals and stage shows. His eyes went to her bed and his heart squeezed. Dressed in an over-sized nightshirt, Tiki was curled up in her blanket, sleeping peacefully. He went over and sat on the bed. "Tiki…"
Before he could have a moment to reconsider, Tiki stirred and opened her eyes. She sleepily looked up at him. "Seto…" she looked at the clock, "…it's three in the morning. Is everything all right?"
Seto nodded and stroked her hair. "Yes…this could not wait."
Tiki sat up and rubbed her eye. "What is it?" Kaiba took a few deep breaths, still gathering his nerves. Though still sleepy, she could tell something was wrong. She reached out and took his hand. "Seto…are you okay? You're starting to scare me."
"What I will tell you will scare you."
Tiki paused, registering what he said. "You mean…?"
Kaiba looked her directly in the eyes. "I'm ready to tell you…everything."
Hearing that, Tiki fully woke up. Propping herself up, she turned on her night stand lamp. With the room lit, she turned back and took his hands. "You have my full and undivided attention, Seto."
Kaiba looked at her and squeezed her hands. "Tiki…I've never shared this with anyone…and only Itami knows about this. So…will you stay with me even after I tell you everything?"
Tiki was taken aback by his vulnerability. She smiled softly and nodded. "I promise that, no matter what, I will always be with you. I love you."
Taking another breath, Kaiba pulled back and started to work on his shirt. Realizing what he was about to do, Tiki blushed deeply and wanted to cover her eyes. Before she could move, however, he took off his shirt, revealing his bare, muscular chest, and turned around. Looking at his back, her eyes widened in horror and she covered her mouth in shock. Kaiba's back was covered in small, faint scars. "Seto…"
Kaiba did not turn around. "Remember in the virtual world? When the butler used a switch to wake me up?"
Realizing what Kaiba was implying, Tiki reached over and touched his back. "Oh my…"
Kaiba lowered his head. He hated being vulnerable but knew he had to keep talking. "I've had a lot of chances to have them surgically removed…but I never will. I never want to forget what I went through to give Mokuba a better life."
Tiki ran her hand over his back. "I…always suspected abuse…but this…"
Kaiba peeked over his shoulder. "What do you mean, you always suspected?"
Tiki looked up at him. "When we were in the Virtual World…the memory after you had your games taken away. You came back from a lesson and collapsed on your couch. I saw…you wincing."
Kaiba thought back and sighed. "That was the first time…"
After Gozaburo ordered his games to be destroyed, Young Seto could do nothing but watch the butler gathering his games, keeping his fury and sadness hidden. Looking at the box of games, the butler teased, "Truly remarkable…after gathering all the toys and games from your luggage, you hardly have anything left. Now…your next lesson will begin shortly." He started to leave when he suddenly remembered, "But do see Master Gozaburo before your lesson. He would like to discuss something with you."
Young Seto was curious but knew better than to keep Gozaburo waiting. He went to his stepfather's office and knocked. "Enter."
Young Seto came in and closed the door behind him. "I was told you wanted to see—"
As he spoke, he turned to face his stepfather. The next thing he knew was Gozaburo's fist coming in…
After his lesson, Young Seto stumbled into the room and dropped his textbooks. Mentally exhausted and physically sore, he collapsed onto the couch. In doing so, he landed on his bruises, making him wince.
Kaiba turned back to face her. "Half of my hits were punishments, though I suspect some were made up, and half were his way of relieving stress. Month-end, quarter-end, and year-end were the worst. I think even a few of my ribs cracked…but there is no way to know now."
Her eyes tearing up, Tiki hugged him. Kaiba paused: this was the first time in years someone had hugged his bare skin. Hugging her back, he heard her say, "I'm so sorry you went through that…"
Kaiba stayed quiet. One memory kept threatening to come out but he did his best to keep it back. He struggled for a solid minute before he heard Itami's soothing voice. ~Everything will be all right, Seto. Trust yourself…and trust her.~
Mentally nodding but still keeping control, Kaiba kept talking. "I took it so Mokuba could have a good life. I…even…"
He paused, making Tiki pull back. He looked away so Tiki gently said, "Keep going…"
Kaiba's whole body tensed up as he confessed, "I even became his toy to play with."
Tiki was confused until she remembered something that happened a week prior.
Kaiba and Itami came home from work and found Tiki in the living room, watching TV. Itami flew to her closest tree stand to get some water. Coming over to Tiki and kissing her, he asked, "What are you watching?"
Tiki's eyes were glued to the screen. "My favorite crime drama. It's a new episode and it's been a roller-coaster."
Curious, Kaiba stayed to watch. "I've never expected you to be into something like this."
Tiki giggled as the show came to its last five minutes. The detectives were interrogating a man about his murdered daughter. Tiki shook her head. "Just confess, you bastard."
Kaiba peeked at Tiki as the detectives revealed that they got the man's stepdaughter to confess to what he was doing to both girls. Hearing this, Kaiba started to slowly grip Tiki's blanket that was draped over the couch. Tiki was too busy watching to notice. After realizing he was caught, the man immediately changed his tune and said, "They were my toys…and I played with them."
As the show ended, Tiki turned back to look at Kaiba but he was gone. Hearing him in the kitchen, she assumed he was getting himself and Itami something to eat. She then noticed a part of the blanket on the couch: it looked like it had been gripped extremely tightly.
Tiki looked horrified. "Seto…please…please tell me that's not true…"
Kaiba's eyes lowered. While he did not speak, his silence was a deafening confirmation. Tears started to pour down her cheeks as she slowly covered her mouth. "Oh, Seto…why…? Why…?"
Kaiba did not look up. "I've asked myself that many times…ever since that cold night…"
The blizzard outside Young Seto's window howled harshly, covering the world with snow. The sky was black and starless. Curled up in his bed, he tried to block out the noise. His head was covered with his pillow and his figure was curled up and intertwined with his sheets and blankets. His lessons had ended early because his teachers wanted to get home before the storm got worse. He was grateful, hoping to actually get a good night sleep. His eyelids were starting to droop when his door opened slowly. Young Seto's eyes immediately flew open before closing them again. He knew pretending to sleep did not really work but he still tried. The door closed and Gozaburo's familiar footsteps got closer towards the bed. The child stayed as still as possible, waiting to hear Gozaburo's footsteps heading back to the door. Suddenly, his blankets were yanked away from him. Startled, Young Seto tried to sit up to get his blankets but Gozaburo's hand strongly pressed down, pushing him facedown back onto the bed. Before he could fully realize what was happening, he heard another sound…
Kaiba could not bring himself to continue. To his relief, Tiki did not ask him to: the horrified look on her face showed she knew. Slowly shaking her head, she whispered, "…no."
Kaiba sighed. "At least once a week…I took it and I took it in silence. I had no choice."
Tiki shook her head. "No…that's…why…?"
Kaiba suddenly snapped, "He wanted to abuse Mokuba that way!"
Tiki froze, her horror growing. "He…but Mokuba…he never…"
Kaiba ran his fingers through his hair, trying to calm himself down. He could feel his PTSD coming but he tried his best to bury it. "That bastard accidentally said that…the first time he made me…I made him swear to give me everything. Part of me is still surprised he kept his promise…but he did. Mokuba is as innocent as the day he was born. I promised my little brother I would protect him…and I did."
Feeling himself calm down, he looked at Tiki for a response. She sat in stunned silence. Scowling, he turned his back to her. "Now that you know…nothing's stopping you from leaving. After all…no one wants damaged goods."
Logically, he knew he was wrong. In his vulnerable state, however, his memories and PTSD were making his mind warped. He heard Tiki shuffle and prepared himself for her reaction. To his surprise, he felt her arms wrap around him in a hug. His eyes slightly wide in surprise, he felt her nuzzled his back and say quietly, "I'm not going anywhere…especially now that I know…you truly are the phoenix I always knew you were."
Feeling something he had not felt in years, Kaiba lowered his head. Tiki continued to hold him until she felt something wet on her hand. Curious, Tiki looked up. "Seto…"
His head lowered, Kaiba was crying and shaking. He tried to stop the tears but they kept going. Tiki touched his shoulder but he recoiled. He gripped his forehead and his teeth but tears kept flowing. Tearing up as well, Tiki turned him back to her and hugged him gently. Feeling this, Kaiba lowered his face into her shoulder and wrapped his arms around her, clinging to her as if afraid she would disappear if he did not. The tears were let loose, letting out years of bottled up emotion. Not wanting to collapse, Tiki gently laid down, taking Kaiba with her. One hand draped around his back and one stroked his hair. "I'm here, Seto…I'm here…let it out…it's okay now…no one will ever hurt you again."
Hearing a coo, she gently raised her head and saw Itami standing on her bed post. She too was crying. Sensing what the phoenix wanted to do, Tiki nodded. Seeing this, Itami flew over and landed next to them. She then nuzzled Seto, cooing gently. Both continued to comfort him until he went quiet. Tiki gently asked, "Are you okay?"
Kaiba just nodded. Smiling sadly, Tiki kissed his forehead. "Thank you…for trusting me with this secret."
Pulling back into a sitting position, Kaiba rubbed his eyes. As if just realizing Itami was here, he stroked her head. "Do not tell anyone…this stays between us."
Itami gave Kaiba a look; it was an understanding look but it was still a look. ~Who the hell are we going to tell? We would never betray you like that.~
Tiki nodded in agreement. "We're both willing to shoulder this burden with you."
~No matter how deep the wounds are, we will always be there for you. Nothing can turn us away.~
"She's right, Seto. Whatever secrets you have, we can share them together."
Kaiba felt a rush of relief as he felt the weight he had been carrying since he was a child lift. He then felt more exhausted than he had ever been before. Seeing this, Tiki laid him back onto the bed and covered them with the blanket. Cuddling with him, she said gently, "Get some rest, Seto. It's been a long day."
Kaiba struggled to stay awake but he was quickly losing the war. "Tiki…I…"
Tiki smiled. "It's okay. You can spend the night."
Hearing that, he closed his eyes. Feeling Itami cuddle him on the other side, he sent a wave of gratitude towards her; she responded with a soft coo. Before sleep fully took him, he whispered, "I…love you…Tiki…"
Hearing him say those words for the first time, Tiki's heart soared. "I love you too, Seto…"
With that, the three fell asleep.
Kaiba was the first to wake up. To his surprise, it was 10 in the morning. He mentally grumbled at how late it was. But he was distracted by Tiki: she was still sleeping in his arms. Smiling softly, he kissed her forehead and whispered, "Thank you, my star."
The more he looked at her, the more he felt an urge to make love to her. This was surprising to him. Thanks to what he went through, he assumed that he would never have such feelings; even after getting in a relationship with her, he still had doubts. Before he could think more on this, Tiki's alarm went off with a song from a musical. Moaning, she rolled over and turned off her alarm. Stretching her arms and back, she looked at Kaiba and smiled. "Good morning.
"Good morning, my star."
Tiki rolled back and kissed him gently. "Have a good sleep?"
Kaiba thought for a moment and nodded. "Yes…I think that was the best sleep I've had for a while."
Tiki smiled. Her eyes then lowered: he was still bare-chested. Blushing deeply, she hid under the blankets. 'Seto's not wearing a shirt…such a handsome chest…'
She felt a desire start to crawl over her. She knew that she had been with Kaiba for quite some time and was now living with him; still, she was not sure if they should take the next step. Kaiba blinked in confusion at Tiki hiding. He was about to ask her what she was doing until his shirt suddenly dropped on his head. Annoyed, he pulled his shirt off in time to see Itami land in front of him. Her eyes were sparkling with mischief. ~You might want to put that on…before Tiki starts thinking naughty things.~
To Kaiba's surprise, he felt his cheeks go a little hot. Putting on his shirt, he reached over and rubbed the blanket where Tiki's shoulder was. "I'm dressed now. You don't have to hide."
Tiki peeked out. Seeing he had his shirt on, she full emerged. "We, um…should probably get some breakfast."
Kaiba agreed and kissed her temple before they got up. Kaiba opened the door just as Mokuba turned the corner from his room. The preteen blinked in surprise. "Nii-sama, what are you doing in Tiki's room?"
The couple paused and tried to think of a good explanation. To their relief, Itami flew to Kaiba's shoulder. ~You know how your brother is: working to exhaustion. When I finally convinced him to bed around 4 in the morning, he was too exhausted to make it up to his room. Since Tiki's room was closer, I took him there, where he collapsed on her bed. Tiki, you're lucky he didn't land on you.~
Mokuba giggled and gave Kaiba a look. "Nii-sama, I told you not to do that. You need your sleep."
As Mokuba went to the kitchen, Kaiba smirked at Itami. 'Thank you.'
Hugging his arm, Tiki thought of something and whispered, "Seto…will you ever…tell Mokuba what happened?"
Kaiba paused. Tiki rubbed his arm. "You can't keep it a secret forever, Seto. Mokuba is a smart boy. It probably won't happen soon but eventually…he will find out on his own."
Kaiba sighed slightly. "I…" He thought for a moment. 'I don't want him to know…but Tiki is right. Mokuba is very smart…and it won't be long before he starts asking questions. But…' He said out loud, "Mokuba is still young. I don't think he's ready right now."
Tiki agreed. "Yeah, he is still a kid. But, once he matures a little more…I think he'll be ready."
Kaiba agreed and went into the kitchen. Seeing Mokuba pouring himself a bowl of cereal, Tiki joined him with her own bowl. Making coffee for himself, Kaiba thought things through. Half of his thoughts were imagining the eventual conversation between him and Mokuba about the abuse Kaiba went through; the other half thought about the urge he felt towards Tiki. Suddenly a hand was waved in front of his face, waking him from his thoughts. Tiki smiled. "I was asking if you wanted some cereal."
Kaiba was too focused on getting his coffee so he was half listening. So he said, "Yes, that will be good."
Tiki could tell he was not listening. Before she could tease him, Mokuba grinned. "Since when do you eat cereal, Nii-sama? Usually, you just take coffee and call it a morning."
Kaiba poured himself a cup, as if ignoring his brother. But the corner of his mouth twitched, showing he was a little affected by the preteen's teases. Seeing this, Mokuba started to laugh. "Sorry, Nii-sama, but I never get an opportunity to get you! It's worth it!"
Mokuba continued to laugh. Tiki hugged Kaiba's arm, seeing the gleam in his eyes. She whispered lowly, "I think you should wait for that talk, Seto."
Kaiba agreed. As Tiki and Mokuba chatted, Kaiba looked between them. He felt good for the first time in a long time, both because Tiki knew what happened and because Mokuba was still innocent.
That night, Kaiba was home from work and looking out the living room window. He sighed and rubbed his temples. "A long day…"
He then went deep into thought. While work kept him really busy, his mind was also distracted by his urges for Tiki, especially since he was away from her. But, as much as he wanted her, part of him wondered if he would hurt her some way. He sighed and closed his eyes. "What am I going to do?"
~About what?~
Kaiba almost flinched but did not turn around. As he continued to stare out the window, he saw Itami's reflection as she flew over to his shoulder. He looked at her reflection. "I'm never going to get use to that."
Itami ruffled her feathers, as if shrugging. ~Who said you have to?~ Kaiba rolled his eyes. ~Don't give me that! As your phoenix and your friend, I'm worried about you. You've been distracted all day. Something I should know about?~
After a minute, Kaiba explained, "It's nothing you should worry about."
Itami's eyes sparkled with mischief. ~It's about Tiki, isn't it?~ Kaiba's body went stiff before he held his head high. ~Looks like I hit the nail on the head.~
Kaiba hissed, "Shut up. You don't know me."
Itami made a laugh-like chirp. ~Seto, come on. Yesterday should have shown you how strong our bond is.~
Kaiba did not verbally react but his body did relax a little. 'Only a bond like that could have her know my secret.'
~So talk to me. What's up?~ Kaiba did not respond so Itami took a guess. ~Feeling something…unexpected towards Tiki?~
Not wanting to talk about it, Kaiba started to head to the stairs. Itami looked at him with a tilted head. ~Come on, I'm just trying to talk.~
"There is nothing to talk about, understand?"
Itami gave him a look. ~Oh, really? So did you mean to go to her bedroom?~
Kaiba paused and looked: he missed the stairs and walked right to Tiki's bedroom door. Itami's eyes sparkled like a smirk. ~You're making this too easy, Seto.~
Seto quietly growled and pushed Itami off his shoulder. Anticipating this, Itami took flight and went to his other shoulder. ~Seto, just relax. It's perfectly natural for you to feel this way.~
Kaiba glared at her. "I know that. That's not the point. It's…I…don't want to do something to hurt you."
Itami tilted her head. ~What makes you say that?~
Kaiba took a minute to think of his argument. At first, he could not think of anything. He looked at Itami, who was waiting for an answer. He was about to say he could not think of anything when he suddenly realized the reason. "I don't…want to accidentally do something to hurt her. What if I become too aggressive…? What if…?"
Itami suddenly head-butted him. Kaiba growled at her but he went silent when she "told" him, ~You are not him. You hear me? You are nothing but loving to Tiki. I've seen it every time you two interact. So you have nothing to be afraid of, Seto. But don't take my word for it: why don't you talk to Tiki?~
Kaiba took a minute to let Itami's comment sink in. "Easier said than done. How am I supposed to…bring this up?"
Itami peeked at the door. ~You can start now.~
Before Kaiba could ask for clarification, she flew up the stairs. He glared after her. 'You get back here right now! You hear me?!'
"Seto?"
A little startled, Kaiba looked behind him. Tiki was peeking her head out. "Are you okay?"
Kaiba felt the urge come back but he wanted to remain in control for now. So he came up with the most plausible reason. "Can I…spend the night with you again? After…last night…I've been remembering…"
Tiki nodded and opened the door, revealing she was in a Victorian-style nightgown. "Of course. You can stay as long as you like."
Kaiba followed her inside and closed the door behind him. He could feel the urges start to take over him again. Unaware of what he was feeling, Tiki turned to put her hairbrush back on her vanity. Kaiba's body suddenly moved on its own: he hugged her from behind. Startled, she whispered, "Seto…"
Kaiba shushed her as he hugged her tighter. Tiki went still and leaned against him with a smile. She then gasped in surprise: Kaiba was kissing her neck. "Seto…"
Kaiba paused. "Sorry…I…"
Tiki looked at him, revealing her blush. "It's okay."
Kaiba was still a little hesitant and, to both their surprise, was blushing too. "Tiki…I…this feeling…all the things I want to do to you. But…I don't want…to do anything…you're not comfortable with. I will not be him: I will listen to your wants and needs…and love you like you've never been loved before. But…if you're not ready…"
Tiki blushed deeper and turned around to fully look at him. "To be honest, Seto…I've felt the same way…for some time." She touched his chest with both hands and gave him a special smile. "We've been together for a few years. I think…we're ready for the next step." She then chuckled. "Besides, we already know one thing, right?"
Kaiba was about to ask her for an explanation when he caught a glimpse of the pill container in her bathroom. He remembered catching her with a pack of birth control pills when she first moved. She had explained to him that, because of her cycle irregularity, she had been on the pill since her second year of high school; the date on the prescription confirmed this. While he kept that in mind, there was still one more hurdle he needed to get over as he looked back at her. Tiki helped him by leaning closer and whispering, "I trust you…"
Hearing his heartbeat in his ears, he leaned in and kissed her deeply. He felt his urges and was not going to stop them this time…
The next morning, Tiki moved into Kaiba's master bedroom, returning her room to a regular guest bedroom.
