Chapter 36: Basic Sandwich Making

Summary: Some members of the gang have trouble with change

A/N: Hope all of my dear readers are doing okay during this pandemic. Good ol' Celery is working from home with uncertain pay while also making efforts to attend to fanfic duties. No commuting is good, but disrupted routines have been challenging. Hopefully this chapter will be a good distraction for you all. It certainly helped Celery to write it.

xxxxxx

Greendale was being sold. To Subway.

Annie's mind began spinning, and she made efforts to glance around the room as Dave Matthews played, searching for reassurance she had misheard. Shirley was muttering a prayer, Britta and Ian were hunched down and each putting their hands over Sophie's ears, Troy was staring wide-eyed, and the Dean was tilting his head with a perplexed squint.

Pierce stammered, "Wwww-hat?"

Abed squeaked.

She whipped her head to her left to check in with Jeff and Buzz, and to her disappointment, instead of being reassuring they were both looking pretty pissed off. Buzz clenched his fists and stepped forward, with Jeff mirroring his movements.

"We beautified Greendale and now they're going to sell it!"

Jeff's words echoed against the 90s tune, and then Richie and Carl made their pronouncement of renaming Greendale Community College Subway University.

X

X

Annie thought she had a decent plan. It would work, she told herself. Twitter was really popular.

"Annie, I will not abuse my forty eight followers."

She huffed in Ian's direction, wishing he would take the situation more seriously.

Of course, maybe he was right. She was being ridiculous. Just because rumors were going around that faculty would be retained if they agreed to wear Subway uniforms didn't mean something seriously wrong was happening.

She couldn't put Subway University on her graduate school applications. She'd be guaranteed to be laughed at and denied admission.

It was then that she burst into tears.

X

X

They all moved into acceptance and began packing.

Sure, after a formal offer which did in fact include a uniform, Ian had agreed to stay on, but given the aggression Buzz displayed during the Subway announcement, he was being let go, as he was pronounced "unSubway." The Dean was informed his services were no longer needed, as Subway had a different vision for what they considered a "proper dean" and it involved a smiling blond man wearing a white Subway hat. Dorie was deemed to be "not fresh," and while Pierce was ranting about age discrimination, he was expelled and ordered to leave campus immediately. Troy was told modern dance was being discontinued, as dance didn't have much to do with sandwich making. Annie's forensics and criminology major was given a reprieve if she agreed to a concentration in ham.

Shirley's Sandwiches of course needed to vacate within the next few hours, and with that Shirley, Abed, and Pavel would be out of jobs. Shirley limped into Britta's side at the news, and Britta did her best to give a pep talk, but she was distracted by her own matters, nevermind the devastation that was befalling her friends. Sure, she wasn't a student anymore, but she could quickly see the ripple effects, and it was a bummer.

Abed seemed eerily quiet and went to go find the Dean to discuss treasure.

X

X

Dorie tried to remain stoic as she began to put away her desk, but it was hard. She had told her son she was okay, that he needn't worry that she and Buzz had just bought a house. He had grabbed her shoulders and told her that he would take care of everything and muttered something about someone named MacKenzie before storming off, but she couldn't really take it in.

To see her son panicking was something terrible, as she told herself she'd never let him feel that way again. She owed it to him to be self sufficient, after everything she had put him through during his younger years. She kissed Sebastian on the head and reluctantly handed her precious grandson over to his mother.

Annie smiled slightly and then sat in front of the desk to feed Sebastian, a worried crinkle in her brow. She said carefully, "Dorie, you know Jeff and I will do everything we can to take care of you. And Buzz."

Dorie pursed her lips for a moment, and then took a deep breath. She shuffled some papers, her mind wandering to some awful places, but she knew she had been through worse in her life, and somehow she had persevered. This was small potatoes in comparison. But still, it was hard.

Aloud, she said, "Now dear, don't be silly. Why, Buzz and I are resourceful. He mentioned he has an old friend from the police force and that maybe they could open up a detective business. He's calling him right now. And I'll find something, I'm sure. Why, we should worry about poor Craig." Her eyes went to the Dean's closed door.

Trying not to convey pity, Annie mumbled, "You're right. We'll all get through this." She unbuttoned her blouse and settled Sebastian, hoping that taking the time with him right now would force her to think of a better plan. The fact that Jeff had gone off somewhere was worrying to her, but she figured he needed to blow off steam before they could have a rational discussion. She was glad Britta had taken Sophie to the cafeteria for ice cream.

Suddenly Abed jumped up from the utility closet, and they both gasped. The Dean stumbled out of his room at the sounds and, at the realization it was Abed, shook his head and began to turn back around.

Seizing the moment, Abed shouted, "Stop! I have something I want to show you all. Here, watch this." He rolled out an old film projector from the closet and began to crank it, sharing the story of Russell Borchardt, founder of Greendale. The man who created a machine who could process feelings and was of immense wealth...

X

X

"So you, see there is the possibility of buried treasure."

Annie, Dorie, and the Dean sat in stunned amazement. The legend was absurd of course. A professor having sex with a computer was one thing and perhaps not all that surprsing at Greendale. But the millions of dollars left perhaps somewhere on campus was reaching.

They all said so until they found the note hidden in back of Borchardt's picture.

X

X

Jeff walked by the study room, his mind swirling with thoughts. He needed to find some way to save Greendale. He wondered if there were some sort of legal loophole. He had left Mark a message and was almost getting desperate enough to consult that weasel Alan. He found he couldn't sit still.

Surely, Greendale couldn't go away as if in a puff of smoke? This was where he had met his family.

He stopped at the door and told himself to take a moment to step inside. It might be one of his last chances. As he did so, he spied Britta standing near the table, her hand outstretched and palm flat.

"Hey."

She turned and smiled slightly at him.

"Hey."

He stepped closer and let out a sigh. At the sight of Britta not protesting anything but more wistfully gazing at the table, It was finally hitting him that he might need to give up. Perhaps Greendale was gone.

"Didn't you have my daughter with you?" He tried not to let his voice crack from the emotional pain. No one needed that right now.

She let out a quick laugh and replied, "I needed to have a quiet moment in here, plus I wanted to talk to Ian about something, so I left her with Troy. He took her to the theatre so they could do some dance moves. I think it'll help him as he says goodbye to this place."

Jeff sighed again, and she echoed him. They both stared at the table for several moments before he ventured, "So, what does this mean now?"

"I dunno. I mean, I graduated and Ian's staying I guess. But I don't want him to."

"Was that what you wanted to talk to him about?"

"Partly."

"And?"

"That's between him and me." She paused and then looked up at him as she added, "But what about you guys? You were supposed to teach here this summer, and Annie needs to finish if she wants to go to grad school, and your mom, I…"

He shushed her and pulled her into a hug, feeling her tears against his shirt. The fact that she went limp in his arms told him that they really were screwed. He found himself holding her even tighter.

He pet her surprisingly soft hair and whispered, "We're all gonna be okay, you'll see. If there's anything Greendale has taught me, and I will never admit outside this room that it's taught me anything, it's that first assumptions are usually inaccurate. We find meaning, and we grow and change and adapt. So we can do this now. I don't have any regrets, meeting all of you. I have my family with Annie and the kids but you're also part of my family. I lo-"

-"Hey now, Winger, what is it you think you're doing? Britta, I …. Oh bloody hell, what is it?!"

They both turned to see Ian staring at them, Ruffles in his arms, as the realization of Britta's red eyes hit him. He walked over, and Jeff quickly let go and took Ruffles from him.

"We were just saying goodbye to the study room." Britta sniffled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand.

"Um, I'll see myself out and let you guys talk." Jeff began to inch toward the door, petting a squirming Ruffles and considering where best he could walk her.

Ian waved the air and stated, "No, my dear friend, stay. I have something I need to say."

"Crap, look, I think you two should just…"

Affecting a steeliness that Jeff suspected was a way to compensate for some misinterpreted witnessed affection between them, Ian said, "Jeffrey, I'm well aware you originally had eyes for this fine lady here." Ian turned and said to Britta, "And I am certain I was not your first choice. Why, he's a proper stud muffin, and yours truly is more of an acquired taste."

Sister. Britta was like his sister. Ahh, Annie had said that sometimes and it pissed him off, but now he saw it, and for some reason it didn't bother him in the least. He had always been a lonely kid anyway. He wondered what it would have been like to have had Britta as a sister while growing up. Probably would have been equal parts hilarious and annoying. He inwardly smiled and kept petting Ruffles.

Britta rolled her eyes at Ian and placed her hands at the back of his neck. Glancing upward she said, "You know, I chose you a long time ago. I got Jeff out of my system back in first year. It was lame, but hey, we're together now. So given that, I think we should seriously discuss some things."

Puffing his chest out slightly, Ian glanced briefly in Jeff's direction and then let his eyes fall on Britta. He mumbled, "Er, really?"

"Yes."

Ian suddenly dropped to his knees and fished out a box from his trousers. Holding it aloft, he popped it open to reveal a small gold opal ring. "My dear Britta, will you…."

Jeff winced as Britta's eyes went wide and she slapped her hand over Ian's mouth.

He turned away just in time to hear Britta yell, "Oh my god! Noooo! I don't want to get married! I was just going to say I might agree to live with you! But you know what, you're agreeing to work for Subway, and I can't take it! Subway's an evil corporation and made me fall in lust with its corpo humanoid, so it exploits people! You can't work for them!"

Ian sputtered, "But I...look, I need to make a living, and no other college is going to hire me…"

"So you're saying you're accepting their offer?"

"Of course I am!"

"That's it! We're done!"

Jeff slinked away with Ruffles.

X

X

After having witnessed the horrible regression of one of his closest friends and perhaps newly found sibling, Jeff decided he needed a little ray of sunshine, so he made the decision to go to the school theatre. He slowly made his way through one of the aisles, listening to Troy and Sophie's conversation on the stage.

"So you see, this is a magical place. You can be anything you want to be here!"

"Ooooh! This is where you dance, Troy? This is where you do it?"

"Yeah, and it means everything to me."

"Can we dance some more, please?"

"You got it."

Jeff smiled and settled into the front row. He contented himself with petting Ruffles while taking in the sight of Sophie and Troy doing some sort of improvised steps. After about a minute, he felt his eyes welling with tears.

Ruffles began whimpering, and then Sophie shouted.

"Ruffles! Daddy! You're here! Ruffles you come dance with us!"

Ruffles began trying to break free, so Jeff did the only thing he could do. He stood and walked into the orchestra pit and then carefully placed Ruffles on the stage, letting her loose from her leash. Sometimes it was really good to be gigantic.

At the squeals from Sophie, Troy, and Ruffles, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine that not all was lost.

"Jeffrey, we need to talk."

He turned to see Shirley and Buzz standing in front of the pit, their expressions one of earnestness that he couldn't quite fathom.

He managed, "Look, I just can't right now. I'm done. We've lost. But we'll be okay. We can figure it all out tomorrow."

Buzz growled, "Don't make me kick your ass, Jeff. Your mother is in the Dean's office, and she just called me to tell me they have a plan. Annie and Abed know how to save Greendale. We gotta go."

Dumbfounded, Jeff followed them, and Troy, Sophie, and Ruffles trailed behind.

X

X

They all gathered in befuddlement as Abed and the Dean finished narrating the fimstrip of Borchardt.

Annie completed the last part and stated, "One day he disappeared and the city bought the campus." Her wide eyes scanned her audience, hoping everyone was as excited as she was.

Noticing people were not getting it, the Dean chimed in, "Some people say he hid his money in another dimension but those people were on LSD. Rumor has it he also had a secret vault in his office."

His arms crossed with extreme skepticism, Jeff asked "Where's his office?"

There was an ensuing intense discussion and murmurs, with Annie and Abed advocating for finding Borchradt's sealed off office as soon as possible. Jeff slouched against the counter and then accepted his son from his mother. He hoisted him to his shoulder and regarded the big blue eyes, now definitely Annie-esque and wisps of blond hair. He considered that even the baby seemed to be pleading with him to be less of a grouch about the whole thing, but he couldn't ignore the sinking of his stomach. There was no way they were going to find some mysterious sealed off section of Greendale in time to save anything. And the odds that there was buried treasure was even more miniscule.

The Dean was now shouting, "If we can find the money, we can buy the school from the city before Subway!"

Abed made some comparison to the Goonies, but Jeff wasn't really listening. He was eyeing Britta and Duncan, who were standing on opposite sides of the reception area and giving each other steely glares. He was thankful that Troy was seated with Sophie and Ruffles on his lap and that at least they seemed excited, but he was certain that wouldn't last as the reality of the situation hit them. He turned to see his mom's eyes sparkling as she almost jumped up and down with excitement, mirroring Annie's movements.

He gave Annie an incredulous look, and she returned it. He knew that this meant they were definitely not on the same page. She remained hopeful, and he was falling into despair. He didn't want to see his loved ones crushed, but he felt helpless to stop it. And he hated feeling helpless.

It was then that Buzz and Shirley, who he hadn't even noticed had left, came bursting in with the campus blueprints. Jeff found himself reluctantly joining everyone around the table as the plans were laid out. Duncan muttered something about the entire school being shaped like a penis.

Shirley exclaimed, "This stairwell leads to sublevel three!"

Annie asked, "Is that where the teacher's lounge is?"

Addressing Ian, Buzz asked with a skeptical expression, "What does your penis look like?

"Obviously a cluster of buildings, so let's have a big laugh at the freak."

Britta made no comment.

X

X

Soon they were all in the teacher's lounge and they had located the 'x' on the wall. Buzz promptly produced an ax, and everyone stood back.

As he hacked into the wall, Jeff cursed under his breath, and Annie squeezed his arm in reassurance.

She whispered excitedly, "We're going to save Greendale!"

"No we're not, Annie. This is ridiculous, and I'm more than a little disturbed that Buzz has an ax." He glanced over at his mother, who was watching the hacking with intense interest and he tried not to read it as desire. He shuddered and moved off to the far end of the lounge so that Sebastian didn't hear all the noise. He bounced him a little and tried to think of how they could all just go somewhere and calm the fuck down. He plopped a pacifier in the baby's mouth and mumbled some what he hoped were reassuring statements. At the tentative response, he produced Sebastian's purple dress-clad bear, and the baby's eyes lit up.

Shirley locked the door and ignored Kevin's pounding and screaming from the corridor about being excluded. She mumbled, "He'll only get in the way." and then nodded in Britta's direction, and Britta indicated her agreement.

Buzz stopped and they all stared into the wall.

Shirley exclaimed, "It's just a bunch of wires!"

"Exactly what they want us to think." Ian reached forward and touched the exposed wires, sparks instantly emitting and shooting him back toward the couch.

Britta screamed, "Oh my god!" and then ran over to thim. Ian appeared shocked and more than slightly fried.

Snapping into action at the sight of the ensuing fire, Jeff handed Sebastian to Troy and grabbed the fire extinguisher. He was luckily able to put out the fire and then yelled, "Is Ian okay?"

Buzz shouted, "He'll live but his food's gonna taste like burnt aluminum for awhile."

"It's pronounced aluminium."

"He's fine."

At the ensuing commotion, Jeff yelled at everyone to stop it and then addressed Britta and Ian. "You guys, you have to make up!"

He had surprised himself with that one. But there, he had said it. They had almost burned down Greendale, and the whole thing was ridiculous. And Britta and Ian not being together was just as insane. Who in their right minds would put up with the other? Plus, he loved them. He didn't say any of that aloud, but he felt it in his eyes as he stared at them.

Everyone stilled and focused on the couch, where Britta was seated by Ian's side and wrapping a blanket around him. Smoke was still coming from his ears and his hair was sticking upright.

Britta's eyes went wide and she said, "Jeff, this isn't the time to get into that."

Jeff kept his stare.

"Oh hon, did you and Ian have a fight?" Shirley seemed sad, but her eyes still darted toward the wall, and Jeff knew she was more than a little preoccupied by the idea of treasure.

Jeff pressed on, "Britta, you can't just dump Ian. I mean, look at him. He's literally fried right now because he cares so much about Greendale. He doesn't want to work for Subway."

"But he agreed to work for Subway."

"Now you're being an asshole, Britta."

She sputtered something, and then Ian whimpered, and she found herself softening. "I'm sorry, he's right. You do care about Greendale. You got electrocuted for this school. You got electrocuted for me."

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned away as he heard the sparks and ensuing oows during their kiss.

"You love him, Britta. And Ruffles loves him too. I love you."

Jeff sighed and looked over at Annie, who was wiping away a tear. She nudged Sophie over to Troy, not wanting her to touch Ian just in case, and then stepped over to Jeff. She took his hand and said, "I'm sorry. You're right. We just all need to go home and remember what's most important. Each other."

He nodded and felt himself relaxing a little. There was no need for them to continue. Greendale had served its purpose in their lives, and it was over.

And it was completely okay.

Suddenly Abed, who had been pulling up the corner of the carpet shouted, "Secret trap door! Who's got rope?"

Buzz grunted, "I'm offended by that question." He proceeded to pull out a bag and produce a seemingly endless amount of rope. Dorie looked on, her fash flushing. Jeff tried not to gag.

Ian continued to twitch.

Richie and Carl were now yelling through the door, and there were murmurs of Kevin outside.

X

X

When Richie finally burst through the door, he only found Buzz, Dorie, Ian, Britta, Troy, the kids, and a very stubborn fluffy white dog having tea.

The others had gone below.

X

X

They all excitedly made their way through the darkened corridor.

Abed remarked, "Guys, I think this is the lost section of Greendale. No one's been here since the 70s."

The ensuing disturbing agreement between the Dean and Jeff over the sexual attractiveness of Donald Sutherland made Jeff gently escort Annie down another corridor, stating he thought it best if they all split up.

Annie squinted at him for a moment but then took his hand and proceeded to almost skip down the hallway. He paused her, citing their need to be careful. She called him a grinch and her eyes flickered with an intensity he had rarely witnessed outside of yam trials, coin collecting capers, and fake shootings. He bent down and gave her a kiss.

As they parted, she fluttered her eyelashes and asked breathlessly, "What was that for?"

He smirked and replied, " I love how enthusiastic and dedicated you are to the things and people you care about. Even if we don't find treasure, I'm glad I found you."

Her mouth now quivering, she took both his hands and gave them a squeeze. "I love you too. I'm so happy we met here at Greendale, and I just can't bear to let it go. We have to save it."

"We'll try."

He was now maybe slightly, only slightly, hopeful that they could. Afterall, as baffled as he was, he had to admit that Abed had been right about everything so far. Maybe they didn't have to say goodbye to Greendale. Maybe there were still more adventures to be had.

Annie began licking her lips and pulling him in back of a dusty shelf, and he knew what that meant. With flashes of their biology lab experiment about a year ago, his cheeks became hot and he arched his brow. She nodded and motioned him further back into a dark corner.

He followed.

X

X

Abed stopped to peer into a cobwebbed bookshelf, looking for the possibility of a secret lever. Pierce had a secret lever in his library, and surely Borchardt was just as millionaire-eccentric as Pierce. He reached forward and tried to ignore the stickiness, and then Shirley slapped his hand.

"You will not get dirty down here! Who knows where these spiders have been?!"

He turned and regarded her face. He assumed her current expression was judgy, as Jeff called it. He did pick up on something odd. It reminded him of the time Sophie saw that spider in the apartment and ran over to him.

She seemed scared.

He cocked his head and said in an attempt to distract her from her fear of spiders, "Shirley, we're going to find treasure."

Kneading her bag, she said, "Um of course we are. After all, I can't lose my sandwich shop. Why you and Pavel can't lose your jobs, what would happen to you? You can't seem to hold a job anywhere else, and I worry for you, I do."

At first, he was perplexed she was discussing her sandwich shop, as it didn't have to do with spiders, but then realized she was saying she was concerned about him. She was afraid he wasn't going to be able to hold a job. But he knew if they found what he was suspecting they would, none of it would matter.

Aloud, he said, "You don't need to worry about me, Shirley. I'm fine. We're going to find treasure."

She furrowed her brow, which he did not understand because treasure was pretty cool.

She then sighed and said, "I can't lose my shop. Andre would like that, but it would kill me, do you understand? I'm pretty sure I want to divorce him, but now I …. can't." She then began to sob.

He moved closer and gave her a reassuring shoulder pat. He now had a bigger clue why she was upset. With his best reassuring expository tone, he said, "Shirley, when characters feel like the show they're on is ending, their instinct is to spin off into something safer, in your case, perhaps a show about just you finding a new career and perhaps in a different location with new supporting characters. But let's face it, that would last six episodes and have a lot of bickering with your new love interest, and …."

-"Abed, do you think I could have a new love interest?"

He stopped and considered her question for a moment. It was very simple in his view, and he ignored the tingling on his neck as he replied, "Yes, I think that would be necessary from a narrative standpoint. Afterall, Andre is a terrible partner, even if he's a good father. You deserve love, Shirley. And if you had your own show, I'm sure you'd find an Andre foil and bicker your way to happily ever after."

"That's nice, Abed."

"If you didn't get cancelled, which let's face it, you would."

"Somehow this conversation made me feel better."

"You're welcome."

X

X

After futile efforts at splitting up, they all reconvened. Annie and Jeff seemed a little rumpled, which the Dean tried his best not to notice.

After stumbling upon a sealed door and a dusty jukebox, Annie and Abed got to work, and Jeff stood back with crossed arms.

Shirley sidled up to him and whispered, "Do you really think they'll get it open?"

"No."

"So that's that then."

Surprised by her sudden acceptance given her running off with Buzz earlier to score blueprints, Jeff turned and was met with her resigned eyes.

In an attempt at lifting her spirits, he whispered, "You know you'll be fine. We'll work with Pierce on getting your sandwich shop set up somewhere else. It might be a rocky first year, but we can do it. I'll try to keep Pierce occupied and away from you though since he's now expelled from Subway University. I'll pawn him off on Annie's mother."

She nodded and then casting a glance at Abed, turned back to him and said, "It's just this whole situation with Andre…"

-"And I told you I'd take care of that, and whatever happens here doesn't change that."

She sighed and then opened her eyes wider and explained, "It's just that, um, maybe I do want to spin off."

"Huh?"

They were startled from their talk by Abed's cries.

"Try track one twenty seven! The song title is Open the Door by The Secret Doors!"

Annie squeaked and pressed the buttons, opening the door as a very 70s tune blasted through the jukebox.

X

X

After entering the lab, Annie instantly spotted the robot and opened up a panel to reveal a bunch of gold wires. With a sense of awe, she pronounced, "Borchardt's gold."

They all oohed and were startled by the emergence of a scraggly looking man who had clearly not bathed or groomed himself since the 70s. Jeff held his nose while also trying to rapidly assess the situation.

Abed stepped forward and said, "You're Russell Borchardt, aren't you?"

After charging at them, Russell Borchardt was temporarily stunned by hitting Jeff's abs.

"I keep forgetting how muscly I am. Now that the squirt's settled in, I've gone back to working out."

"I didn't want to say anything." The Dean blushed, and Annie shot him a glare.

X

X

Richie and Carl sat in front of Buzz and Dorie and gave them their best menacing stares. Kevin pounced in the middle and gave his best menacing yell, but Dorie merely raised an eyebrow at him, and he caved.

"Who am I kidding? I'm not evil. I just want to hang out with you guys. I hope Ian doesn't kick me out."

"Now dear, I'm sure he won't do that. I'll have a chat with him."

"Really? You're so nice."

"Ahem."

Richie shoved Kevin to the side and inched closer to Dorie's face. He then turned to Carl and said, "Don't tell anyone about this."

After using his psychic powers, Richie was fairly confident the gang had taken a hang glider across town to the Greek restaurant, and had just announced this when they were all interrupted by a Subway minion shouting something about a hatch in the floor.

X

X

Britta sat in front of Ian and lightly touched his cheek with the back of her hand. She was thankful that Nurse Jackie was still holding clinic hours, although he had been mumbling about his new Subway uniform which so far he had refused to wear.

"You know I love you, right?"

"Yyyyeess."

"Cut it out, you two. Let me just take a look at him." Nurse Jackie scowled and shooed Britta to sit back as he peered into Ian's ears.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Just a sec." Nurse Jackie squinted at Ian and asked, "Do you need to go to the bathroom?"

"It's called the loo."

"Yeah, he's fine."

X

X

"So I ran out of cocaine and I...hey, what are you doing with Raquel?"

Borchardt sat up straighter and seemed aghast that half the gang was trying to wheel his robot toward the door.

Annie suddenly looked into the poor man's face and felt pity and then empathy. Afterall, he had just given a pretty heartfelt lament about the past forty years and even mentioned cocaine. She puffed out her chest and addressed the group.

"What are we doing? Since when do human beings decide what dreams are worthwhile? Greendale's a place for all dreams. All of us here at some point have been told by people in our lives we were ridiculous, and we didn't listen to them. We persisted. And Greendale showed us love. We have to respect each other, and each other's dreams, even if we don't understand those dreams. So what if Raquel's made of gold? She's a person to him, and we can't use her to buy back Greendale."

Everyone murmured their shame and there were heavy sighs. Jeff, who up until a few minutes ago had been cynical, had just warmed to the idea of saving Greendale and was feeling the sinking in his stomach yet again. He knew Annie was right, but it still felt awful. He glanced over at Shirley and saw she was half smiling with a faraway look in her eyes, and something started to click for him. He had been so stupid. Of course. She wanted to spin off.

Borchardt piped in, "Oh, if it's money you guys need, you can have my money. I have a bunch of cash I'm sure probably isn't that useful anymore, but it's over there." He pointed toward a duffel bag in the corner. Annie ran over and picked it up, opening it to reveal wads of likely millions of dollars.

Suddenly, Richie and Carl burst in, Kevin behind them, and they started yelling and somehow grabbed the duffel bag out of Annie's hands. As one last stroke of evil, Richie placed a magnet on Raquel before they ran off, leaving Kevin inside and shutting the door behind them.

"I wanted to join you guys, but this kind of sucks." Kevin hung his head in dejection.

Borchardt screamed and rushed over to Raquel, tears streaming down his face. He shouted,

"Raquel is the main operating system! She controls everything and now she's dead!"

Abed helpfully noted, "We're trapped in here forever."

"At least we have food and water."

Jeff placed his arm around Annie but knew he wasn't doing the best at letting on he wasn't panicking. Annie looked up at him and said, "We can't be stuck down here. Our children need us."

Trying to ignore the thought of Sophie and Sebastian being orphans, he said, "People know we're down here. Troy's scrappy. I'm sure he's got them somewhere safe and will be on his way to rescue us in no time."

She nodded but then glanced down and began kneading her hands.

Borchardt was explaining to the Dean, Abed, and now a panicked Shirley, "Her emotional components are still on line." He then proceeded with an awkward and inappropriate demonstration involving massaging his nipples while connected to the robot. "Don't you see this computer responds to feelings? When I started Greendale, I …."

A surge of hope overcame him and Jeff interrupted, "Wait, you started Greendale? Do you have that in writing?"

"Yeah over there somewhere in those papers."

Jeff gave a nod of determination to Annie and then promptly went to work searching through them. It only took him about a minute before he interrupted Kevin and the Dean showing Borchardt some youtube videos.

Borchardt was mumbling, "Idiots won! Which means my work down here is done."

Jeff smiled and said, "Good because based on what I'm seeing if we can get you up there right now, Subway won't be buying this school." He held up the ownership certificate and everyone squealed. He caught Annie's eye and saw her now twisting her hair. Damn, he wanted to get her home as soon as possible so they could continue what they had started in the stacks.

"Yeah, but it's gonna take a few hours to get that door open."

They all muttered frustrations before Borchardt had a moment of lucidity and genius. He expounded on some matters before ending with, "In theory a blast of human passion can shock the mainframe!"

Stepping forward immediately, Jeff said "Give me that," and grabbed the headset and slapped it on. Looking directly at his friends' faces, he took several moments to go through it, starting with the Dean, remembering all the ways he had helped Annie and his mom. He then moved on to Shirley and her big brown eyes and huge heart for their friends and her kids. She had really been one of his best friends and he knew he was going to miss her. He then turned his attention to Abed and could easily conjure up all the ways he had been by his side the past few years. He had literally married him and Annie, and even though he had kidnapped their oldest, he only did that to protect her because he loved her so much. He always shared his buttered noodles with the munchkin. He then glanced at Kevin and considered he had been a good companion to Ian and left it at that. Finally, he stared at Annie and took in her encouraging and loving smile and wide blue eyes. He loved her more than life itself, and he rapidly flashed to all their shared intimate moments, starting from the couch comforting night first year to their makeout after the Tranny Dance, followed by their first time. The ensuing scenes, as Abed would call them, consisted of jovial munchkin haircuts, painting the munchkin's bedroom together, snuggling with them all in the bed including Ruffles, and of course the squirt's birth. His heart swelled and he was not at all surprised at what happened next.

His heart opened the door.

They pushed past, and nearly tripped over Troy, who was wearing goggles from the shop department and had rigged up an alarming amount of explosives.

Abed nodded approvingly and said, "Nice."

"Where are my babies, Troy?"

Looking up at Annie with a sheepish grin, he replied, "Oh, they're safe with Dorie and Buzz. Richie and Carl let them go after they didn't squeal on you guys. They're in the study room."

X

X

Mere minutes later, they had rushed into the cafeteria and were able to interrupt the press conference announcing Subway's imminent purchase of Greendale Community College. Richie and Carl were sitting at a long table with what Jeff presumed was the owner of Subway. They were droning on into the microphones about being about to sign. The cameras rolled and Jeff knew there was no time to lose.

He shouted, "Objection! I'm a lawyer and I represent Russell Borchardt, the founder of Greendale Community College."

Annie watched Jeff work his magic. Being very familiar with his lawyer strut by now, she could tell he was in his element, and he was doing something noble and good. He was saving Greendale. And she was very aware that his love for her and their friends had been more than enough to open a steel door. She couldn't wait to get him home so they could continue what they had started a little bit ago.

She suddenly heard the murmurs of surprise and then disgust as Russell Borchardt emerged and Jeff introduced him to the crowd. Borchardt then proceeded to fart his way up to the table to talk to Richie and Carl.

It wasn't really a shock when Subway decided they didn't do conflict and backed out of the deal.

"Eat fresh! Subway ho!"

At the emptying of Subway drones, realization hit Annie. She shouted, "Did we just save Greendale?!"

Carl then started going on a tirade of bankruptcy before Jeff calmly took the bag of cash away from him and handed it back to Borchardt.

"We can let Russell Bordchardt, the true owner of Greendale, decide how best to use these funds to perhaps help our institution."

"Yeah, that makes sense." Carl slunk away with Richie on his heels.

It was then that Starburns appeared and began to play Dave Matthews, and everyone danced, even Ian on his crutches. Jeff grabbed Annie and pulled her into a dance. She sighed up at him, and they took a moment to nonverbally appreciate the hecticness of the day.

He then leaned down and whispered, "Let's make a little trip."

She smiled in confusion as he lead her over to Ian and Britta.

"Hey you guys, are you still made up?"

Britta smiled and said, "Yes, Jeff. We've decided to move in together. We're going to find a new place."

Kevin sidled up as he was dancing with an imaginary creature, "Does this mean I have to find somewhere else to go?" He looked up at them sadly.

Britta shook her head, "No, we've discussed it. Dorie says you were really helpful today with Carl and Richie, and we're sorry we excluded you earlier from the treasure hunt, but we just wanted to get to work quickly. We're going to get a different place, one big enough so you can stay with us. After all, the Dean just told us he's going to hire you as the new Spanish teacher this fall."

"Really? Wow, my luck has really Chang-ed."

Ian winced on his crutches but gave a sort of thumbs up from his right hand. "Wee..re..good. Thank you, Jeffrey."

"Glad to hear it, buddy."

As Britta murmured some stuff to Annie, he silently mouthed to Ian about the proposal, and Ian started to respond when they were interrupted, leaving it on a cliffhanger.

Troy and Abed also sashayed over, Troy grinning while Abed maintained his usual expression but with a definite glint of satisfaction in his eyes.

Abed explained, "Troy is a true hero. He was going to save us. But I'm glad he didn't because he might have blown himself up, in which case we'd be currently piecing him together to make the next KickPuncher Robot Foe."

They both then stared at each other and shouted in unison, "KickPuncher Robot Foe!" and ran off.

Jeff watched them go and mused, "I wonder where Troy got dynamite? Do I want to know? No, I do not."

Annie tugged on his arm and said, "Shouldn't we make sure that dynamite goes somewhere safe? It's still in the secret underground lair."

"Ah, crap."

Buzz then appeared and interjected, "I took care of it."

"Where did you….?"

"I said I took care of it."

Jeff shrugged and decided none of it mattered anymore. He waltzed Annie to the left and grinned as he saw his mom enter with the kids.

"Ah, my mom and the hobgoblins. Now we can really party."

Annie laughed as he waltzed her over and then disengaged from her to bend down and pick up Sophie. Annie took Sebastian and Dorie smiled.

"Dears, I heard we saved Greendale."

"Yes, Jeff used his legal prowess to save Greendale. You should have seen him. He was magnificent." Annie was full on blushing.

"Good work, dear."

"Thanks, mom."

Dorie turned to accept an outstretched arm from Buzz, and as they walked off toward the dancefloor, Buzz leaned in and whispered, "I thought you should know earlier, when Richie was interrogating us and read our minds…"

"Yes?"

"I was thinking about a hang glider."

She raised a brow in response.

Borchardt boogied his way over to Jeff and Annie and exclaimed, "You guys! What is this music? It's terrible yet kind of awesome!"

Annie stifled a laugh as Jeff seriously answered, "It's Dave. I'll let you listen to my collection."

"Oh, that would be rad. Hey, what am I going to do with all this money?!" He was still clutching the duffel bag.

With growing awareness that Russell Borchardt was in fact in need of serious help in both hygiene and getting readjusted to society and a new era, Annie and Jeff exchanged glances.

Jeff said, "Let's set up a meeting."

"Great. You're a lawyer! Wow, I probably need one. And you have so much love, so much that you opened the door. Thanks for saving Greendale. Please help me save Raquel, too."

"Let's get to work Monday morning."

"Deal."

X

X

They all sat reconvened around the study room table, even Pierce who was no longer expelled. Troy and Abed were doing their handshake, Britta was bouncing Sophie on her lap, and Dorie had joined, sitting next to Buzz and holding Sebastian. Ian sat on a couch so that he could elevate his knee which had been properly electrocuted for some reason and had let Ruffles join him. The Dean was scratching the back of his head as he pondered if it had in fact been a good idea to extend that offer of teaching to Kevin, as he was sitting in the corner with an expression of inordinate happiness at finally being included in the "the gang." He wasn't even sure if Kevin remembered that his name was actually Ben. Shirley kept a cheery facade, and Jeff tried not to think too hard about his slowly evolving grief and refocused on the presentation.

Annie summarized the caper, "And then Jeff saved Greendale."

Jeff sat with crossed arms, but he didn't really mean it.

He said with all genuineness, "Annie, we all saved Greendale. I hadn't wanted to find the hidden treasure, but you guys were persuasive. Thank you." He nodded his appreciation and smiled.

She squealed and then placed the final star on the board.

Jeff hit his gavel to end the meeting.

Abed mused, "We'll definitely be back next year unless human civilization is destroyed. And that's canon."

xxxxx

A/N: Whew. A whirlwind, just as in the actual S5 finale. So much action to pack in and a rush to the finish.

Stay safe during these pandemic times, my dear readers. Let's hope human civilization is not destroyed, as Celery would very much like to continue with part six. And that's canon.