and the scarry skies above


kotoamatsukami


Itachi is twenty-one the day control is wrenched from his hands.

He's sitting on the cot, eyes closed, arms resting loosely on his knees, head full of swirling thoughts from which not even Sakura's hands running over his bare back can distract him.

"You're fine," she says lightly. The tingle of her chakra vanishes alongside her gentle fingers. "A bit of a cough that will need to be monitored or it could turn bad – I'll write you a prescription –, but otherwise I am happy to report a clean bill of health. The administration centre will be pleased." Her voice turns dry. "They are always looking to push you guys into missions far too early."

Itachi can hear her move across the room, the furious scratching of a pen, then the tearing sound of paper. The light steps that bring her back to him.
"Itachi," she calls quietly. A gentle hand brushes away his bangs. "Do you hear me? You can leave." She waves the slip of paper in his face. He looks up and holds her gaze for a second – eyes that are always so full of wisdom and worry.

Whether for him or something else, he couldn't say.

She hands him his shirt. Dressed and on the verge of leaving, he turns back around when Sakura catches his wrist. "Don't forget this," she chides gently, and pushes the prescription into his clammy fingers. Holding his hand tightly between hers, she looks up at him. "Whatever is bothering you, don't think you're alone, okay? You've been morose the past few weeks. You can rely on your friends." Itachi blinks. He doesn't have any, he thinks. At least not a lot. "You can rely on me."

A heavy sigh escapes him, and he runs his thumb over her knuckles. Contemplates. "I'm due for a mission tomorrow, but perhaps… once I return, we could have tea?" Because what harm can it do, really? If Tetsuo has taught him one thing, it is that companionship is a gift. One that requires a certain amount of compromise, yes, but a gift nevertheless.

Sakura smiles at him, a lopsided thing that looks more sad than anything. "Sure," she says, and reaches up to run her fingers over his forehead. He can feel her trace the fine lines worry has etched into his skin. "Whenever you feel like it."

A whirl of leaves and a sudden foreign presence in the examination room has them jump apart, snap to attention. A cat-masked ANBU glides down from the windowsill, their broad frame seemingly blocking the light from outside. In the now-dim room, Sakura's white coat becomes the only bright spot. Shining like a beacon.
"Uchiha Itachi," a hollow voice announces. "You are required by the hokage."

The following hour spent in the meeting room of the council passes like a blur. Shisui is there, mien drawn and pale. He remains quiet. Cold and distant voices filter through to him, and he gets the impression of faces, but to Itachi they seem more like masks, carefully controlled and void of emotion. The air is heavy with disdain and dread.

He can feel his humanity slipping away, one carefully worded sentence at a time. Under their sharp eyes, he falters, regresses, becomes nothing more than a tool.

Acquiesces.

Companionship turns to nuisance. Friends into deadweights. Family to history. And freedom nothing more than a privilege.

By the time he leaves with his cousin, his world is hollow and he feels dead. The prescription, still clenched in one tightly balled fist, seems nothing more than a joke now. He looks down at it, thinks of Sakura's green eyes and sad smiles, and how she always smells of tea and herbs and lets him know she stands by him, every step of the way. Ever since the day his father introduced her as his jonin instructor. In a way, he thinks, she was Fugaku's greatest gift to him.

"Where to now?" Shisui asks quietly.

The wind picks up and Itachi lets go and the breeze carries away the crumpled piece of paper.

He traces it with his gaze, until it disappears over the slated roof of Konoha. Where to? Shisui's question echoes in his head.

"I don't know."


A/N: This story is slowly coming to an end. Maybe a couple more chapters, and then we're done.

Truth be told, writing this doesn't satisfy me anymore. It still makes me happy, but I feel that it lacks a distinct narrative purpose. I enjoy the emotional fragments and the heaviness of it all, but all in all this is just plodding away without any real purpose to it. But by now, the writing style has become too distinct for me to try and shape this into something bigger than it is. I try to hint at a loose storyline and defining events, but I'm afraid it does more to confuse you guys than it clears things up.

But I do enjoy the slow burn. And what a slow burn it has been.

I still love this story, seen as it was a wonderful exercise in writing and has taught me much. So now I want to try my hand at something bigger, hence I'm currently plotting another TobiSaku. It's going to be a loose continuation of colder spots (which I kind of hate and love at the same time, as well.), so if any of you are interested in that, keep an eye out! :) I am a big fan of writing down an entire story before posting it, which means the first chapter will probably go up in autumn or early winter.

Thank you guys for sticking with me for so long! I hope you'll stay until the end.

Drop me some theories of what you think is happening in Itachi's life at the moment! :)

Your feedback (and confusion, haha) is always very much appreciated, and teaches me where I need to add more details and flesh things out more. I will keep this knowledge and incorporate it in my next story.

Lots of love,

planless