Try Again
"Hey, wait." Thea said, running out of the hospital where she saw her mother's parents walking out of, "Wait." She said, watching as they both turned around.
"What is it, sweetie?" Janet shook her head.
"Why did you come here?" Thea asked, "The last thing you did to my family was… break it apart-"
"No, your dad broke your family apart." Robert corrected.
"Because he was clearing up your mess that you left him and my mom with." Thea said, "He was doing fine. He was… he was doing good. He didn't live that life anymore and you brought it back to him." She said, "Why would you think any of us want to see you?"
"Well it's not really about you." Janet said, "It's about our daughter."
"Who hates you." Thea nodded, "I don't… I don't know details but I know you didn't look after her probably as a kid. Which is probably why she wound up on the streets." She said, "How can you even look at her without feeling guilty?"
"April chose to leave home. We didn't kick her out." Robert said, "She met your dad and left. She was the one who stopped seeing us." He said.
"Because you were bad people who did bad things." Thea nodded as Janet laughed a little.
"Do you know who your dad is?" Janet questioned as Thea glared at her, "Well… I'm assuming you knew who Rio was." She said, "Your dad wasn't far off from him-"
"You know nothing." Thea spat.
"I know that everyone around here viewed your dad in the same calibre as Rio." Janet said as Thea shook her head.
"No they didn't. My dad is a good person." Thea said, "Who got caught up with bad people."
"Yeah, that's what he tells you." Janet nodded, "I guarantee you if our April never met him, she would have avoided all that stress and heartbreak. She would have gone on to college, met a good man, settled down properly-"
"What would you have cared anyway?" Thea asked, "I know enough about you two to know you abandoned her. That you would leave her on her own when she was just a kid, for weeks on end." She said, "And then come back like nothing had happened."
"She was perfectly fine. We had things to take care of back then. We knew April would be fine. People checked in on her." Janet waved her hand.
"That's not the point. You raised her to think that no one cares about her and then someone did, so she left." Thea nodded, "Why would you think that in her weakest state right now that she'd wanna see the people who have just neglected her, her whole life?" Thea asked.
"You're a lot like her." Janet observed, "Big personality, big mouth." She smiled a little, "There is no agenda, we just came to see how she was. That's all."
"Well no one believes that." Thea nodded, "You aren't welcome back here." She made clear as Janet nodded, "I don't trust either of you."
"You don't know us, honey." Janet said.
"And I don't want to." Thea said, "Just stay the hell away from my mom and my family." She nodded.
"We're leaving." Robert assured her, guiding Janet away from Thea as they walked off.
"She's literally my favourite thing on earth." Jude smiled, sitting on the rocking chair in Mirren's nursery, holding the baby girl as she slept in her arms. It had been difficult. The night feeds, the crying, the settling down, but between them both they figured they weren't doing such a bad job.
"Yeah, she's ok." Sean teased as Jude smiled.
"Everyone says she looks like me but… I see her a lot like you too." Jude nodded, looking down at Mirren.
"That must mean you think she's cute." He teased as she smiled.
"Obviously." Jude nodded, "I do feel bad about not having gone to see my mom yet." She said.
"Hey, please don't worry about that. From what I hear she's doing real good. You've just had a baby. No one is expecting you to go to the hospital every day to see her. You need to look after yourself." He said.
"Yeah, I know." Jude said, "I was talking to Jude this morning, she said my dad's dad showed up last night." He said, "Just right in front of him."
"What? I thought your dad didn't know his dad?" Sean asked, leaning against the door frame as Jude stood up from the rocking chair.
"He doesn't." Jude said, walking over to the crib to put Mirren down, "But a few weeks back Cassie wound up stumbling across him at the station, on the system. She met with him a couple times." She nodded, looking over at Jude, "I guess he picked the wrong timing to make his move. Thea said my dad was acting crazy when he came home. Barely even acknowledging it."
"Well I mean… if you grow up not knowing who your dad is and he shows up fifty years later unannounced it's… it's probably a lot to take in." Sean nodded.
"Yeah, I know." Jude agreed, "I don't think he wants anything to do with him. He's a proud guy. Growing up without dad probably hurt him a lot more than he'd let onto." Jude said.
"Well yeah, I bet." Sean nodded.
"Cassie's heart was in the right place but… I don't know, maybe she should have just left this alone." Jude shook her head, "If my dad wanted to find his dad then he would have." She shrugged.
"Or he's probably just avoided it for most of his life." Sean nodded, "Maybe this is the push and shove he needs to face it."
"I know my dad. He doesn't like people pushing and shoving him." Jude nodded, "Plus, I know he just wants to focus on my mom right now." She said, "I'm not surprised that he's reacted like this." She shook her head.
"Maybe he'll sleep on it and change his mind." Sean said.
"Yeah, maybe." Jude said, "Ultimately it's his decision, though." She nodded, "And I think we gotta respect that.
"Yeah, of course." Sean nodded.
"I'm really annoyed I never got to finish painting this place." Jude sighed, looking over at the patch on the wall in the corner of the room which she hadn't gotten to finish due to Mirren arriving early.
"I think she'll forgive you." Sean smiled.
"I hope so." Jude smiled, looking on at Mirren lying in her crib asleep, "Isn't it amazing how… she's gonna grow into a little person. She's gonna grow up and become someone." She smiled, looking down at Mirren.
She was still overwhelmed as she transitioned into being a mom. It wasn't so much the night feeds and the diapers and the crying that was overwhelming her, it was the fact she now had this little person who depended on her.
"She's gonna be a badass." Sean nodded as Jude smiled.
"I thought a lot about… being a mom when I was pregnant. What it'd be like. I saw my mom do it and… sometimes it looked fun and then other times it seemed horrifying." She said, "Either way she always sort of… made it look easy and I got a feeling it's really not. Especially as she gets older." Jude said, "And I thought a lot about… when I'm gonna have to tell her about what happened to me."
"Jude, come on, that's… that's an awful long time away." Sean walked over to her.
"I know it is, but I still thought about it." Jude nodded, "Thought about making everyone swear they won't tell her, thought about telling her myself, thought about ignoring it altogether." She said.
"I think that's something you just gotta take as it comes. She's so teeny right now." Sean smiled.
"But I'm still living with it, Sean." Jude said as he turned to her, "And I don't wanna be the mom who… hides things." She shook her head, "I wanna have a good relationship with her and… tell her everything. The way me and my sisters are with my mom."
"You will." Sean nodded, "Babe, it's… it's day two, we have a lifetime with her, that's the best part." He smiled as Jude nodded.
"I just really thought that as I got older and I moved on with my life, what happened to me would start to fade away a little." Jude admitted, "But it hasn't. Not even a little bit. It's still there, all of it." She sighed, rubbing her forehead.
"Then we'll keep doing what we have been. We'll talk about it, you can talk to your therapist again, we can take Mirren on a hike." He smiled as she looked up and smiled across at him, "No one can know what it feels like but you. I guess that's the hard part. I can be there for you as much as I can but… you know what you need, you know what helps you get through it because… I mean, you've already gotten through it. I saw it. We all did. Now it's about… maintaining it, right?"
"Yeah, I guess." Jude nodded, "I just can't believe that it's been six years and I still… I still think about it almost every day. And it's like… I feel myself relapsing every now and then. I feel myself get distant, thinking about it more, wanting to hide away… and now I have a baby, I can't do that. And that scares me."
"You're not alone." Sean reminded her, "Anything that you go through, I'm there with you." He nodded, "Maybe… I don't know, maybe it'd help to talk to someone who has been through the same thing." He said.
"I'm not going to one of those group discussions." Jude shook her head.
"Maybe it'd help to hear that you're not… you're not alone. Other people might feel exactly like you do. And maybe that would kinda… comfort you in some way. Ways that I can't." He said. He understood there wasn't anything he could do to make it easier for her. That was the hard part, "It's like AA right, you all share something in common-"
"Having been raped?" Jude looked up at him, "Sounds like it'd be a lot of fun." She shook her head.
"It's… just a suggestion." Sean said, "Right now I think you just gotta rest and adjust to this little one being here. And I'll be there for whatever you need. We're a team, right?"
"Yeah, of course we are." Jude nodded, hugging into his arm, "I just don't want to let her down. This is kinda scarier than I thought it'd be." She admitted as Sean nodded. Now that Mirren was here, it was incredibly daunting, especially by the love they felt for her already.
"Of course it is." Sean kissed her head, "But we're gonna be fine. We've got her back." He said as Jude smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, we do." Jude smiled. She was terrified her struggles would reflect how good a mom she'd turn out to be.
"Oh, what's that you're popping?" Dean smiled, walking into his kitchen where he saw his wife popping a bottle of wine.
"Red, because I've had a long day at work." Renee said, "Want some?" She asked him, pouring herself some wine into a glass.
"No, I'm good." Dean smiled, coming up behind her and kissing her cheek as she smiled.
"How is April? Have you been to see her today?" Renee asked him.
"No, I'm kinda giving them space right now. Phil text and told me she had a bit of a rough night, also… her parents have showed up, which is never good for anyone." Dean shook his head.
"Her parents? What's wrong with her parents?" Renee asked.
"They're scum, to sum up." Dean nodded to her, "I mean… you know what they did to them, dumping all that shit on them that wound up getting Phil in prison." He said as Renee nodded, sipping on her wine.
"Yeah, it's not very parent like, is it?" Renee shook her head, "I was going to make some food to take over to Phil. I know what he's like, he'll be eating crap or he won't be eating at all." She said, "I got some things cooking away right now."
"You should have been a chef." Dean said as Renee smiled.
"Maybe when I retire." Renee smiled, "Sarah called, she's coming home for the weekend." She said, talking about their youngest daughter who stayed on campus at the college she was studying at.
"I love that part, and then she has to go away again and I hate it." Dean frowned as Renee smiled.
"I know you do but… I'm excited to see her." Renee said.
"Yeah, me too." Dean smiled, "So you're cooking all this stuff for Phil… what are we eating tonight? Scraps?" He smiled, walking over to her as she chuckled, feeling him wrap his arms around her waist, kissing her softly as she kissed back.
The only thing that broke them apart was a knock at the door.
"Chrissy coming to visit?" Dean asked.
"No, she had a meeting at work tonight." Renee said, "Go see who it is." She tapped his butt as he walked out of their kitchen and headed down the hallway.
He opened up the door, looking on at the unfamiliar face standing on the bottom step.
"Can I help you?" Dean shook his head.
"Are you Dean?" Daniel asked as Dean looked across at him.
"I am. Who's asking?" Dean asked.
