A/N for 2020-04-10: Many thanks to chaysara for beta-ing this story. As usual, I fiddled with her work after the fact, so all errors are my own. I hope you are all doing well in these uncertain times.

- Erin


"I loved Swift," Leah said grinning, flipping through Bella's book.

"What's that?" Billy asked, looking at the wood-cut illustration on the front.

Charlie chuckled, holding Sarah. "Yum-yum," he said, blowing a raspberry on her tummy.

"Eew, Dad," Bella said, thinking about the reading.

"Someone fill me in," Billy said, frowning.

"It's from the 1700s," Bella said. "Swift wrote this very sarcastic piece suggesting that eating Irish infants would be a good way to end the Irish famine."

Billy looked alarmed.

"He didn't actually mean it," Bella said. "Anyway, it's called a 'Modest Proposal,'" she mumbled, watching Charlie and Sarah.

He was still pretending to eat her, saying "Grandpa wolf is going to eat you up!"

Leah and Seth snorted and chuckled, while Sue shot them a warning glance. Billy turned his face to hide his grin, and Bella just shook her head.

"Long as it isn't any other kind of proposal," Billy muttered.

Everyone in the room clearly heard his remark, and Bella blanched, watching their reactions.

Clearing his throat, Billy amended his statement, "Any indecent ones like that anyway."

The evening's conversation limped on from there, Sue awkwardly herding people to the dinner table. Bella watched her father watching her, her palor running to what she knew would be a telling blush.

On the drive home, Charlie tapped his fingers on the steering wheel, ruminating over his conversation with Renée. He still wasn't entirely sure what his ex-wife's cryptic comment about 'being on top of it' had been about, but maybe it was this.

Were they thinking about getting married?

Bella had said she wanted things to go slowly, but seeing as Edward lurked around every corner and moment of her life, Charlie had a hard time believing the boy knew the meaning of the word.

He was good with Sarah, though.

And Bella . . . she was happy. She'd finally gained back the weight she'd lost. She laughed now, smiled at things.

"Couldn't help but see how you reacted," Charlie said, "when Billy mentioned a proposal."

Bella swallowed. She reminded herself she was an adult and not a chicken.

But she felt like a giant, feathery chicken.

About to be plucked.

"Yes," she said.

"Is that something you two've talked about?"

"Jonathan Swift?" she asked politely.

"Bella," Charlie said warningly.

She sighed, and looked down. "Yes."

He put a hand over on her shoulder. "That's not something to feel badly about," he said softly.

"What?" she said, looking up.

"And I'm sorry if I've made you feel badly about you and Edward. I don't. I just . . . "

"Don't like him."

"Yeah," he admitted. "I'm tryin'."

"We've . . . talked about it," Bella said.

Charlie didn't say anything for a bit.

"If it's what you want for you and Sarah, then you have my full support."

Bella sat in stunned silence for a while, eventually managing to stop her gasping fish impression, "Okay," she said.

"I love you, kiddo," Charlie said, patting her shoulder and then returning his hand to the wheel.

When they got home, Bella was still mildly stunned.

Sensing that her defenses were down, Charlie asked her something she hadn't expected at all. "Can I ask about you and Jacob?"

"Sure," she said, tucking away the diaper bag and sitting down on the couch. Sarah was sleep in the carseat.

"Would you have married him?" he asked.

She stared at him for a bit, feeling the colour rise in her cheeks. "No," she said quietly.

"Why not?" Charlie asked. "You were together, going to have a baby, moving in together . . . "

"No," she said, "I mean, we were going to do all those things, but . . . we weren't together, not the way Edward and I are."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

She blushed, shaking her head. "We weren't . . . it wasn't like that."

Charlie gestured to Sarah in her carseat, "I think she speaks to that," he said.

This time her blush was stronger, and she looked down. "No," she managed to say. "It was just the once. And, I wasn't—I wasn't ready." She sighed. "I loved him, but it wasn't the same, not like with Edward." She frowned, knowing her explanation to be insufficient. Words, in general, seemed inadequate for the task.

Charlie's eyebrows were pointed v's as he processed this, his head nodded softly, rhythmically, like it would make more sense if he kept going. "Why then?" he asked. "Why stay together if . . . "

"Jacob had a lot more faith in us than I did, Dad. I know he loved me more." There were tears now.

He came and sat down beside her. "Don't feel guilty about that." It was so clear, seeing her face tense and tighten. "You love how you can. You're a faithful person, Bella."

"I know," she said, "but he deserved better, Dad. And I can't help but think that if we hadn't, he wouldn't have been in that car, coming to see me—"

"No," he said, "don't go there. No way you could know that, control it. Nothing you can do about it."

"It's really easy to say that. It's harder to believe it."

"Do you really think Jacob would want you to feel guilty?"

"No," she said immediately.

"He would want someone to be a father to his child."

Bella had to think for a bit about how to respond truthfully to this. "Yes, I'm sure he would." Just not Edward.

The time passed between them, a quiet set of ticks on the clock.

"Dad," Bella ventured, "I thought you would be totally opposed to the idea of marriage."

"And I would be if you didn't have Sarah, but parenthood changes things, changes you. It has changed you."

"And . . . mom?" she asked a little nervously, thinking about how this conversation would go with Reneé.

He chuckled. "Sorry, kiddo. You're on your own there. No idea. You'd know better than me."

Later that night, when Edward slipped quietly into her room, he mentioned none of the conversation he'd overheard. He hoarded the words joyously though, a small flame in his heart.


DISCLAIMER: S. Meyer owns Twilight. No copyright infringement intended.