There was an understanding in most small towns, wherever you travelled, that particular people could be found in particular places at particular times of day. The most popular saloon in Four Corners was just such a place, where the regular crowd appeared on a very regular basis. At this point in the day, late afternoon, the room looked pretty much as Chris expected. Only a couple of out-of-towners, both of whom he had seen earlier and didn't seem likely to be a cause for concern. Since no one had disembarked from the morning stage and there were no cattle drives in the area at this time of year there were no other unfamiliar faces. The men that were scattered around at the tables were mostly single townsfolk – the married ones were either still working or already on the way home. A few hands from some near by ranches but being mid-week there weren't too many. All in all, a typical scene, with two notable differences.

Ezra's usual table sat empty. Ezra maintained it was the best location for a poker game in the room, though he never explained why. Chris always figured it was just more of the show the gambler loved to put on to keep his opponents off balance. There was a deck of cards sitting there, but they weren't his. Clearly someone else had decided to take over the lucky spot under the false belief it's founder was never coming back.

The other difference was standing at the bar, holding a shot glass in one hand and whiskey bottle in the other. Chris found himself hoping the bottle hadn't been full when Woody had given it to him, because it was already half gone. If Buck was drinking that fast, there was no way they could have anything close to a decent conversation now.

Buck was lifting the bottle to pour another when a hand landed on top of his.

"Think you've had enough."

"I haven't even started Cowboy, so you best let go of that."

Buck knew the glare he got in response. God knows, he'd seen it often enough over the years. The last thing he wanted was to fight with anyone right now. He was too busy beating himself up to add another party to the mix.

"Fine. You keep the bottle. I'll go somewhere else."

"Buck don't make me close every saloon in town. You'll end up with a whole lot of people mighty pissed off with you."

"More than already are – or soon will be? Don't see as that could be possible."

Keeping the sigh to himself, Chris took Buck firmly by the elbow. He pulled away, but an even firmer grip was immediately in place. Dropping his glass Buck pulled back his free arm, ready to take a solid swing to regain his freedom when the uselessness of it all overwhelmed him. Chris could almost feel the fight draining out of his friend as the two men made their way to a more private spot in the room. He wasn't pleased that Buck had dragged the bottle with him, but at least for the moment there was no glass to pour it into. That didn't preclude the possibility he planned on swigging directly, but that could be dealt with if and when needed.

"Nobody hates you Buck."

"That what you think? I can name a few. Think I can't see the looks I'm already getting – and word hasn't even reached everybody yet."

Chris looked around the bar, ready to deck the first person he saw who might be giving Buck so much as a disparaging glance. No one even appeared to be looking their way, let alone condemning the man. Guilt was obviously weighing heavily on him.

"Only man in this bar mad at you is you. We all got taken in. Beating yourself up won't help anyone." He winced, wishing he had phrased that differently. Fortunately, Buck was too far into his own concerns to notice it.

"I just keep thinking on how it felt when everyone thought I'd killed him. Guess you sure had reason to think it was possible, and I sure as hell wanted to. But nobody'd listen to me. Keep thinking on how shitty that felt, but not a bad as it does knowing I did worse to him."

"We can't do anything about that now. But this-" he pointed at the bottle "won't help anything. Take it from someone who tried crawling into one."

After staring at the whisky, Buck slowly pushed it back. His head knew Chris was right, even if his heart wasn't ready to accept it. He needed to focus on finding a way to make things right. For the life of him, he couldn't imagine but one way that could ever begin to happen, and as much as he hated it he was ready to do it. Why not? For entirely different reasons, it was almost exactly the same plan he'd had that very morning. He pulled the cork from his pocket and jammed it back into the bottle, pushing it further away. He sat quietly for several minutes before squaring his shoulders back and looking at Chris.

"I'm gonna go clean up some, then I'm riding out."

"Where? You can't still be planning on tracking her down?"

He'd love to. He had wondered, fleetingly, if she'd be able to ply her charms and fool him again. Then his mind conjured up the image of what Friesen had likely seen - Ezra lying bloody and battered, left to die in the middle of nowhere for the scavengers and he knew there was no danger of ever succumbing to her wiles again. Now he wanted to find her, and to find a way to make her pay. But that wasn't going to happen either. Much as he would have liked to, there seemed to be no legal way to do it, and he wasn't ready to cross that line – yet. If Ezra didn't make it then things would change. She'd find out she didn't win, and she'd pay the price. Not that he would ever admit that to anyone else.

He looked up, realizing Chris was waiting for an answer. "I'd just as soon never lay eyes on her again. And I don't know where I'm headed. Just away."

"Running?"

He was silent.

"Damn it Wilmington. Thought you had more guts than that." Vin's voice came from behind.

This was the last thing Chris had wanted to see. He was in no mood to mediate a fight between his two best friends. Not now. Not ever.

"I can't stay here. I – I just can't."

"No. Guess it's a helluva lot easier to hide from your mistakes than to deal with them, isn't it? No matter who you hurt in the process."

"I'm trying avoid hurting anyone. You think Ezra is going to want me around after the role I played in what happened to him?"

To the surprise of both men, Vin started laughing. "You sound just like him. That's kinda what he meant in the letter, wasn't it? That he hoped you – we - could forgive him for his part in training that – woman."

"Not the same thing."

Vin sobered. "No, it isn't. He'd see it that way, or likely that what he did was worse. He's starting to wake up." Both men perked up at the news, but Vin continued before they could ask anything. "You want to know what he said? What he was worrying about while fighting to keep breathing? He was afraid she was going to hurt you Buck. Was asking if you were alright – telling us to protect you."

Buck couldn't speak or even swallow around the lump in his throat. He didn't deserve that concern.

"He say anything else?" Chris asked quietly.

"No, didn't have the strength. Passed out again." He turned back to Buck. "If I have to hogtie you I will, but you are not leaving this town until Ezra sees that you are safe. Not gonna let him worry himself even sicker thinking you got hurt because of him. He can't handle that now."

"You heard the man Buck. Leaving is the exact opposite of how you want help fix this."

That changed things, for the short term anyway. He couldn't leave. He'd caused enough hardship for the gambler without adding to it now. Made no sense to him that Ezra would give a rat's ass about him but seems like he did. Staying near was going to be hard, but he'd sit in that front pew waiting to reassure him if that was what was needed. It was a small price to pay.

It worked. Vin could see the small shift in posture that told him Buck was staying. He could also see how hard that was for him, and decided maybe for the sake of all concerned, there was more that needed to be said. Hoping his timing wasn't off, he spun a chair around next to him and straddled it.

"Won't say I'm not mad at how this played out, and things that were said and done, but I will say this. I'm sorry we had to lie to you Buck. Tell you he was dead. Tell you I thought you done it. For what it's worth, I knew that was impossible. In anger anyone can do just about anything he lives to regret, but hunting a man down like that – not your style. You're a better man than that. Even if we both might be having a bit of trouble accepting that right now. Ez is going to want you to stay in Four Corners. I do too."

He stood and walked away to spare Buck the need to respond.

After watching Vin leave, Buck stood slowly and went back to the bar, returning the bottle to Woody and tossing more than enough coins on the counter to cover what he'd drunk. He picked up the hat he'd left there and turned, startled to see his way blocked by Chris.

"No unloading your guilt on him when he wakes up. There'll be time for the two of you to figure all this out later. For now, you must make sure he knows you're alright."

"Then what?"

"I can't order you to stay, even though it's what's best. But if you feel you need to do some kinda penance, I do have an idea."

Buck put his hat on and started toward the door. He stopped there and hesitated for a moment. "What did you have in mind?"

Keeping the smile of relief to himself, Chris caught up to him. "Ezra – all of us – are obliged to Abram Friesen. We cost the man some time and labour way from his ranch. You might think on spending a couple days out there lending a hand. Some hard work and sleeping under the stars might give you time to clear your head of this crap about leaving as well."

"Not the worst idea I've heard." He started walking toward the church his pace slowing as he got closer. Chris remained just a step behind.

His hand hovered over the handle on the door. No inspiration had come to help him figure out what he'd say when he got in there, or how he'd handle this. There was nothing in his past that prepared him for this experience. If Chris hadn't been at his back, he suspected he'd have turned and bolted, and he was sure that was why he was followed.

The door opened in front of him. JD stepped back to let him pass. "Well, you ain't doing anybody any good out there. He's still sleeping again, but Nathan thinks he's calmed some. Get in and see for yourself."

The young man turned to Chris. "I'll head out on evening patrol in a few minutes. Just need to get some grub first." He slipped past the men and made his way down the street, whistling merrily. For the first time since Clarice had stepped of that stage, JD was beginning to feel like things were going to be getting back to normal.

"You need to do the same Josiah. Not the patrol part, but you need to get some rest." Nathan was concerned by the fatigue showing on the older man's face, and the others noticed it as well. "Go stretch out on one of the beds in the clinic. If you just lie down in the back here, you won't sleep for trying to listen to us."

"You should talk. Look worse than I do."

"He's right Nathan. Vin too. The three of you need a good night's sleep. Buck and me will stick by Ezra. You'll be close enough if he needs anything. Get some grub and some sleep."

Nathan shook his head. "Not leaving my patient."

Trying to speak, Buck's voice cracked. He cleared his throat and started again. "If he's worried about me in all of this, think on how he'd feel if any of you got sick 'cause of him. Go on and do what Chris said. Promise you we won't let anything happen with him."

Seeing now the secondary motive behind the order, all three nodded. Vin stood first. "Seeing as how bad Josiah snores when he's this tired, I'll be in the wagon."

"No, you'll sack out on in my room at the boarding house. You need a proper bed for the night." Buck looked at him almost desperate for Vin to accept the gesture. With a small smile, he did.

"Not sure I can sleep in that kind of comfort but be worth a shot. You'll get me if anything changes." It wasn't a question, but Chris nodded his answer regardless.

Nathan moved and prodded Josiah to do the same. Reluctantly, he complied, give Ezra a gentle pat on the shoulder before walking away. Chris took his place, while Buck sat a bit further off.

Vin glanced back as he left. "I'll let JD know what's happening. He'll likely poke in when he gets back later."

The church was quiet after that, except for the soft wheezing from Ezra. He looked now to be asleep rather than unconscious. There was almost a tranquillity to him that hadn't been there before. It was clear to see he was still in pain, and far from being out of any danger, but overall the sense of foreboding seemed to have dissipated.

Neither man could say how much time had passed when they heard the creaking of the door. As predicted, JD stepped into the darkened room looking every bit as tired as everyone seemed to be feeling. Before Chris could order him off to bed as he had the others, JD stepped into the light enough to make it clear he was carrying something. Moving closer, he set down some sandwiches and a pot of coffee.

"Mrs. Travis asked me to bring these to you. She said she was going to, but though maybe you didn't want to be disturbed."

"Thank her for me. You might as well go get some rest JD. There's no more real change yet."

"Can I tell that to folks?"

Grabbing a sandwich, Chris looked up with a questioning look. "Who's asking?"

"Most folks. Mrs. Travis says Mrs. Potter has been sweeping her porch for over an hour, watching the church for any signs. Woody is asking, and so is Tiny. And Miss Leach at the bakery. Lots more at the saloon. They seem to feel pretty worried about him."

Chris closed his eyes in a quick prayer of relief and gratitude. Another sign that maybe things were going to settle back to some kind of normal. Better yet, a new kind of normal.

"Yeah, you let people know. But no visitors. None of us need that kind of commotion right now."

Buck looked up. "See if you can get a few of the men to lend a hand on patrols for a few days. Josiah and Vin should take some time down, and I'm heading out to Friesen's place for a couple of days after Ez wakes up."

Uncertainty crossed JD's face. "Leaving town?" That wasn't what he had expected and didn't care for the idea.

"No. Just paying back a debt for a friend. Ain't near what I owe, but I guess it's a start."

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tbc