"There was an incident with your mother," Dad says, and Kiyoshi feels something inside of him crash and burn.

His dad looks so tall, standing there- shoulders stiff. There's this blank look in his eyes. He can't tell if he's staring at him with disappointment or pity.

"...An… incident," Kiyoshi repeats, making his way over to the couch. His legs feel stiff.

"Yes," Dad says. He doesn't follow Kiyoshi. "An… incident." He's quiet for a long moment. "She's not dead," he admits. "...We know that, at least."

He says it awkwardly... as if offering up some sort of reassurance. And briefly, a weight lifts from Kiyoshi's chest. But quickly it peters off, and he hears the flinch in his father's voice. She's not dead… yet? She's not dead, but there are things worse?

(His mind flashes back to those years in the hospital and his heart catches in his throat. No. Nononononono. If it's anything like that he thinks he'll… he'll…-)

"W… what is it, then?" he asks, panic in his voice. "What happened to her!? Is she going to be okay!?"

Dad's expression remains unreadable. He shifts slightly, keeping his voice in monotone. "...They still don't know," he says. "She and a few other members of her group were traversing through dangerous territory. They slipped up for just a moment, and…" his voice peters off. But just as soon, he returns to that emotionless drone. "They set off a landmine. She took the brunt of the explosion."

Kiyoshi's heart catches in his throat.

E… explosion.

Brutal. Violent. Deadly.

She had to be…- she has to be in so much pain.

He turns his head, unwilling to let his father see him cry. "...W… what condition is she in?" she asks. "I mean- I know you said you didn't know, but- is she… is she okay!? What's hurt!? Do they think she's gonna make it!?"

"They believe…" Dad pauses. "...They believe your mother will make it. But there's no knowing for certain with these sort of things until they observe her condition further. She's lost a lot of blood." He shakes his head. "Right now she's in a medically induced coma. She's not in any pain. They're still trying to get a full assessment of her injuries, but I've been told… I've been told they may not be able to save her leg."

He says it so blankly- staring not towards Kiyoshi, but at the space beside him. He feels his fist clench… his teeth grit. How can his dad say that so emotionlessly!? His wife could be dying and he… he…-

Gah. Kiyoshi knows he's being unfair to his dad. But it just hurts. It hurts more than anything he thinks he's ever faced.

He bolts to his feet. Dad steps closer to him, murmuring a firm "Kiyoshi," but he's taking none of it.

"I think I'd… I think I'd like to be alone right now."

Dad looks like he's going to refute it for one moment, but his expression quickly falls. "...Okay," he says. "Let me know if you need anything. And… I'll keep you updated."

"Mmhm," Kiyoshi says, but there's no tenderness to it. Knees shaking- eyes watery- he marches up towards his room. He slams the door behind him, flinching at the noise, before sliding back down against it and covering his face with his hands.

He'd gotten on his dad's case for pretending to take this better than he really was, but he may as well be a damn hypocrite, too... because the tears don't really start to fall until he's sitting there alone. Choking back sobs, he crumbles to the ground and lets out a scream.

...Why!? Why now!? He'd just finally started to get his hopes up! That things were going to be okay! That there was still a chance for him! But if… but if his mom doesn't come home, he doesn't know what he's going to do from here.

There's this rotten, bitter thing inside of him… this beast that's wanted to emerge all his life. And he hates it. He'd do anything to suppress it. But lying there, screaming at the top of his lungs… clawing at the carpet, he swears he hears it. And that just makes something inside of him crumble further.

( 'That thing… that person. He'd never screamed in grief, had he?' he asks himself... but just as soon he knows it's a falsehood. He's in a ravaged lab, and Aguri's body is still warm. He crawls towards it on hands and knees... lets out an ear-piercing shriek. At the time, he'd thought it was mourning. But now he's not so sure. Maybe he was just a toddler throwing a temper tantrum because his favorite plaything had been taken away.)

(...Some part of him wonders if he'd only loved his mom for what he could use her for, too.)

He thinks about the kind things she'd say to him... the soft way she'd ruffle his hair and the dumb, unprofessional inside jokes. He thinks about never getting to experience those things again and he lets out another horrified shriek.

He wonders if his dad can hear him from downstairs. He wonders if he's ashamed of him. Or he wonders if his dad is simply sitting there... head in his hands and staring at the phone in the same way he had before he'd told his son the news.

It pierces his mind again… that nagging thought. He remembers what Gakushuu had said… but all the same, he can't help but wonder if this is just somehow what fate had set out for him from the beginning.

Maybe this is his punishment, not Nagisa.

"The world simply doesn't work that way," Gakushuu had said. And he'd sounded so certain. But there are a lot of things he doesn't know, too. Up until now, no-one had thought the world reincarnated sick fucks into the bodies of 13-year-old little boys, either, but here they are. What is this, if not to make him suffer?

...What is this, if not telling him, 'You shouldn't have tested your luck?'

He drags himself towards his bed... flops down onto it, and buries his face in his pillow. He curls up sideways, then turns over. There's a twitching in his leg. He just can't still his quivering body.

He fumbles for his phone. He knows it won't help, but he feels obligated in some fashion to share the news... as a plea for help or a responsibility he's not quite sure, but he knows his dad must be downstairs texting the E-Class right now. He needs to tell Makoto. If he doesn't, no one else will.

He stares blankly at his phone, holding it out in front of him with limp arms. His grip feels weak. He's not sure what to say. His breath hitches once more, and tears spill down his cheeks.

[2/9/2031 4:21 PM:] [Kiyoshi] hhelp.

[2?/9/2031 4:21 PM:] [Kiyoshi] shes dead, makoto. shes going to die.

[2/9/2031 4:21 PM:] [Kiyoshi] my mom

[2/9/2031 4:22 PM:] [Kiyoshi] i dont know what to do. im so scared.

He knows it's incoherent, but it's the most he can get out. His fingers tremble. His eyes water. He chokes back another sob and covers his eyes, unable to look at the screen.

[2/9/2031 4:23 PM:] [Makoto💛] What do you mean she's dead!?

[2/9/2031 4:25 PM:] [Makoto💛] Kiyoshi!

[2/9/2031 4:27 PM:] [Makoto💛] What happened to Irina!?

[2/9/2031 4:30 PM:] [Makoto💛] Are you okay!?

His messages grow more frantic with each passing minute. But as Kiyoshi stares at the screen, the most intelligible answer he can muster up is 'I don't know.'

[2/9/2031 4:31 PM:] [Kiyoshi] her misssion overseas. it got messed uo

[2/9/2031 4:31 PM:] [Kiyoshi] she stepped pn a landmine

[2/9/2031 4:32 PM:] [Kiyoshi] they dont know if s hes gonna be okay or if shes gonna wake up or what to do

[2/9/2031 4:33 PM:] [Makoto💛] Oh my god.

[2/9/2031 4:34 PM:] [Makoto💛] I'm. I'm so sorry.

He thinks some part of him had come to Makoto looking for reassurance. Makoto had given him hope even in the face of the darkest adversary he'd ever faced. But now that he's talking to him, he thinks he just feels worse than before. Because Makoto's just as helpless as he is, and there's nothing he can do to fix this.

'I think this is my fault,' he starts to type, but quickly backtracks. He just can't do it. He just can't explain that to Makoto. At best, he'll think he's a paranoid freak. At worst, he'll think it was his fault, too. But he… he didn't have any ill intent in… in accepting Kiyoshi. In telling him to lie. He just wanted to do what's best for Fumi-

...Is that what this is about?

'No,' Kiyoshi reiterates. 'That's not what Gakushuu said.' This isn't because… this isn't because he's some… beast. This is because - it's not because he needs to be punished! Parse it rationally, goddamn it!

This is because there are landmines left over from the remnants of a war. This is because they're difficult to remove, and his mom's job is risky. There is… no proof… no rationality behind it being his… his fau-

Stop making it about you, goddamn it!

He clutches his head and shrieks. His mom is dying in some hospital bed a hundred worlds from him, and he's thinking about karma!? What the hell is wrong with him!? It's not her fault she gave birth to some… some pathetic narcissist! She never asked for this! Shut up, Kiyoshi! Shut up!

The world doesn't revolve around you! You're not some… you're not some most wanted! You're pathetic! You're invisible! It's already forgotten about you! Everyone has! Because you're unremarkable! Unrememberable! Not enough! And that's your real punishment, not…-

...Not your mom being taken away.

He curls his head and lets out another breathless sob.

'Why not both, huh? Why not both?' he asks, clenching his fist tight. 'You'd certainly deserve it, wouldn't you!? What else could you have possibly done to deserve this!?' But he shakes his head. Desperately shakes it, and claws at his pillow. Gakushuu said… Gakushuu said-

...Gakushuu knows nothing.

No. Seriously. What the hell does he know!? Gakushuu's not some monster! Gakushuu's never laid his hands on an undeserving person! Gakushuu's some petty, desperate for attention, ex-high school bully! He's fucking clueless! He has a good life! His parents haven't died!

...Hell… he'd be happy if they did!

(Kiyoshi almost feels bad at the thought . 'But it's true, isn't it?' he asks himself. He's heard Gakushuu talk. It's nothing but a goddamn fact!)

Gakushu has no idea what he's going through. He has no right to leave his input on the matter! Gakushuu's successful! Gakushuu's loved! Gakushuu was a sweet boy in a rotten situation- lashing out in the only way he knew how. But Kiyoshi? He's nothing like him. He's masquerading. He's sobbing. He's shrieking at the top of his lungs. He wants to throw his phone through the window and upturn every table in his room. Because everything he's ever loved has blown up in his face, and he's fucking... he's so fucking sick of it!

His mom is dying! Painfully! Abruptly! Never getting to see him again! What is that, if not his punishment!? That can't just happen randomly! It can't! He refuses to live in a world where that's untrue! A world that cold! A world that uncaring and unfair! These things don't… they don't just happen to good people! They don't! He feels like shit because he deserves it! That's all! The world wouldn't just-

...Take a perfect person's life.

He lets out another sob. Kicks his phone away, and screams at the top of his lungs. 'Please don't take it away,' he begs. 'Anything but this.' 'I'm sorry.' 'Please don't take her away.'

Beg all he wants, however, he receives no answer.

One hour passes, and then another. Dad awkwardly peeks his head into his room every so often, offering up a glass of water or a disheartening update. "She might be in a coma for up to three weeks," becomes, "She might be in a coma for up to six." "They might not be able to save her leg," becomes, "They might not be able to save her legs." And this turns ruptured or that infected. He wonders when, "They might not be able to save something or other..." will become, "They might not be able to save her at all."

Dad brings him up dinner a little past seven. A warm scent wafts through the room as he cracks open the door.

"...I figured you wouldn't want to eat downstairs," he says, making his way over to Kiyoshi's bed. He plops down next to him- the bed sinking in as he sits. "I'm not sure if you'll feel up to eating, but I got you something just in case." He coughs awkwardly. "It's homemade."

Kiyoshi takes the plate carefully, placing it on his lap. True to his father's word, it's homemade. Unevenly fried fish, with rice on the side.

"Thanks," he says in a voice that feels small. "...I'll… uh… try my best to get something on my stomach."

He has a feeling it's a pointless endeavor, but he at least wants to seem like he appreciates his dad's effort. This isn't the sort of thing he does for him very often.

Dad sits there quietly for just one moment, as if hesitant to stand. He keeps his hands folded over his lap; expression vacant.

"...Any other updates on Mom?" Kiyoshi asks. "Or do they still not know?"

Now that makes Dad stand. Quietly, he rises to his feet. "...No. I've told you everything they know right now." He pauses. "You should… try to get some rest once you've eaten. Things will look better in the morning."

He doesn't sound so sure, but Kiyoshi gives him an empty nod anyways. "...Okay," he says. "I'll try."

Dad makes his way towards the door. He looks back over his shoulder for one long moment- eyes fixed on Kiyoshi, but he doesn't speak. He just stands there- looking the most helpless Kiyoshi's ever seen him.

...He doesn't hug Kiyoshi. Kiyoshi doesn't ask.

Finally, he just sort of says "...Your mother will be okay. I'm sure," before stepping out of the room and closing the door behind him. Kiyoshi stares blankly at the wall, tears prickling in his eyes as his breath goes ragged once more.

He manages to get in maybe three bites of food before the nausea overtakes him. Part of him knows that must be in part because he skipped lunch, but he just can't rid himself of the feeling. Awkwardly he sets his plate aside and hopes his dad won't be too mad at him for squandering his gesture.

He lies down for a little while, but to no success. Explosions ring out in his mind and shadows dance in the corners of his eyes. His phone buzzes a little bit past eight, and it's only then that he becomes aware he has upwards of 30 missed messages.

[2/9/2031 4:40 PM:] [Shiota-sensei] Your dad told us the news.

[2/9/2031 4:40 PM:] [Shiota-sensei] I understand if you can't come to school tomorrow.

[?/?/2031 4:41 PM:] [Shiota-sensei] I can send you any make up work, but please feel in no rush to finish it.

[2/9/2031 4:41 PM:] [Shiota-sensei] Take all the time you need.

[2/9/2031 4:41 PM:] [Shiota-sensei] And let me know if there's anything I can do to help.

[2/9/2031 4:50 PM:] [Auntie Kayano] ...Ohhh, Kiyoshi… I'm so sorry.

[2/9/2031 4:50 PM:] [Auntie Kayano] I wish there was more I could do.

[2/9/2031 4:51 PM:] [Auntie Kayano] No-one deserves to go through that.

[2/9/2031 4:52 PM:] [Auntie Kayano] I'll keep your mother in my thoughts.

[2/9/2031 4:58 PM:] [Uncle Karma] You feeling okay, bud?

[2/9/2031 5:00 PM:] [Uncle Karma] Ah. Sorry. That was a stupid question.

[2/9/2031 5:01 PM:] [Uncle Karma] Nothing I could say can help much, but I'm always here if you need to chat.

Kiyoshi texts them back. Awkward 'thank you' s and 'I'll keep that in mind' s. They don't help any, but he knows they're just trying to show they care in the only way they know how.

It's not just Nagisa's little posse, either. He receives messages from family friends he hasn't talked to in years, each as worried as the last.

[2/9/2031 5:34 PM:] [Sugaya-san] We got the news. I can't imagine what you're going through right now. I'm sorry.

[2/9/2031 5:55 PM:] [Yada-san] Heard what happened. I'm honestly pretty devastated myself. But try not to worry too much, OK?

[2/9/2031 5:55 PM:] [Yada-san] Your mom's one of the strongest people I know. She's taken WAY worse. This isn't gonna keep her down.

[2/9/2031 6:43 PM:] [Itona-san] ...Hey. Sorry to bother you.

[2/9/2031 6:43 PM:] [Itona-san] These gestures don't tend to do anything.

[2/9/2031 6:44 PM:] [Itona-san] But everyone is really worried about you.

[2/9/2031 6:44 PM:] [Itona-san] Just text back if you can, okay?

Kiyoshi does as told. He wouldn't want to make any of them panic more than necessary. At first their sympathy feels patronizing- pitying- but Kiyoshi swiftly reminds himself that his mother was their confidant, too. They're in just as much pain as he is.

'Yeah. I'm alright,' he texts, despite being anything but. 'I'll try not to worry.' 'I'm sorry too, I think.'

His most recent text is from Fumiko. He hesitates to open it for just one moment, but steels himself. He'd already told himself he's not going to avoid her again. He doesn't have any right to break her heart, regardless of what he's been through.

[2/9/2031 8:02 PM:] [Fumiko💜] Makoto shared the thing about your mom.

[2/9/2031 8:02 PM:] [Fumiko💜] He says he hopes you won't be mad, but he was getting worried about you.

[2/9/2031 8:03 PM:] [Fumiko💜] You weren't texting back.

[2/9/2031 8:04 PM:] [Fumiko💜] ...Are you going to be okay?

...He can't lie to her. She's the one person he can't. Not when there are already so many things she deserves to know.

[2/9/2031 8:06 PM:] [Kiyoshi] i dont know.

[2/9/2031 8:06 PM:] [Kiyoshi] i really dotn know.

[2/9/2031 8:07 PM:] [Kiyoshi] i feel so sick and scared and angry and i just catn stop shaking. i don't know what im gonna do, fumiko.

[2/9/2031 8:08 PM:] [Kiyoshi] if she dies, i dont think ill ever fogrive myself.

It takes Fumiko a few minutes to respond.

[2/9/2031 8:12 PM:] [Fumiko💜] ...It's not your fault, Kiyoshi.

[2/9/2031 8:13 PM:] [Fumiko💜] I know it might feel that way, but it's not.

[2/9/2031 8:13 PM:] [Fumiko💜] You don't deserve to go through this.

Kiyoshi hesitates.

[2/9/2031 8:14 PM:] [Kiyoshi] You really think so?

[2/9/2031 8:14 PM:] [Fumiko💜] Of

[2/9/2031 8:14 PM:] [Fumiko💜] Of course I think so!

[2/9/2031 8:15 PM:] [Fumiko💜] And I'm here for you, alright?

[2/9/2031 8:16 PM:] [Fumiko💜] We're family, remember?

'Yeah,' Kiyoshi texts back, a heavy feeling in his chest. 'Family.'

He texts with her for a little bit, before telling her he thinks he's gonna sign off for the night. He turns off his phone and places it in his bedside drawer. Then, left alone in the dark of his room, he stares up at the ceiling.

Taro doesn't come to join him that night. He wonders if he's staying with Dad. He wonders if Dad needs that comfort right now, too... if he's crying, alone in his room, or if he's simply too strong for that.

Either way, he decides to let him have the consolation. For all he knows, he's hurting, too. And hey… whether forced to play the role of a social butterfly or not, Kiyoshi Karasuma will always know that the role he plays best is that of someone who's left alone.

A little past 3 AM, he finally passes out. And Kiyoshi sleeps, but doesn't dream.

[2/9/2031 4:29 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] Hello. I am sorry to interrupt, as I know I'm not particularly active in this chat, but I have an unfortunate announcement to make.

[2/9/2031 4:29 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] As some of you know, Irina has been overseas for the past month and a half handling a mission in Ukraine. It was a run of the mill operation, and one we believed would pose no risk.

[2/9/2031 4:30 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] However, there has been an emergency. And that's why I regret to inform you all that she is currently in critical condition.


Nagisa knew something like this had to happen eventually, but that doesn't make it hurt any less.

They're getting a little older each day... a little more fragile, and a little more impulsive. They're not old... Not yet. But they've firmly segued themselves into adulthood. And with each individual decision they make… each path they turn down, he supposes there's an aspect of risk.

Back when they were twenty or so, Mimura had skidded off of the ice and given the whole E-Class a real scare. Another time, Okano had caught a virus so severe she'd had to be hospitalized. Every day Okuda works with chemicals that could blow up in her face and Yoshida drives into work on a motorcycle that could crash and burn. Politicians have enemies, and actresses have stunt accidents. In adult life, everyone's always a little surrounded by death. That's just a risk that they accept.

...But this… feels worse, somehow.

When Nagisa was young, he'd thought adults were infallible. Karasuma had effortlessly knocked a blade from his grip, and Irina had looked so confident… strutting into a foyer and placing herself down to play the piano.

Korosensei had put an end to that. It's funny... With a name like 'unkillable teacher,' you think he would have done the opposite. But on that quiet March night, Nagisa had seen the truth. His teacher had faded into stardust... and with it his faith. He'd known for certain adults were just as capable of being weak as the rest of them.

...Just as capable of being temporary.

He'd have thought that losing so much at such a young age would make him get used to death... but it certainly doesn't feel like it. If anything, he thinks he's just more scared. He remembers the immeasurable, bottomless grief that had wracked his whole being, and decides if possible he'd never like to feel that again. Never like to live in a world so unfair, and never lose another person he looks up to.

Turns out… he's not in control of that. Never has, never will be. He should have known, seeing as how the Korosensei situation had gone. But he supposes some part of him had thought he was stronger now... more capable of making a change.

...Irina's not dead. Not yet, at least. That's what Karasuma had said. '

They don't know. But I've been told there… is a chance she may not make it.'

It'd been impossible to gauge his tone over text, but Nagisa couldn't help but imagine Karasuma crying just a little. Karasuma never cries. He hadn't cried, even when Korosensei had died. But this is different. More personal.

He's not doing too much better, himself.

The news hit him like a bus. His knees feel weak, and his face pallor. Kayano's weeping, rubbing little circles in his back like he's the one who needs them, and Karma's pacing around the kitchen, his footsteps heavy on the floor.

"I can't deal with this shit," he mumbles. "I can't. I fucking can't-"

Gakushuu's got this indecipherable expression on his face. Something tells Nagisa he wants to say 'don't worry yet.' 'You don't know she'll die,' but his sensibilities prevent him. And he's thankful for that. Right now, he honestly doesn't want to hear it.

Instead, Gakushuu simply rubs his temples and says "Kiyoshi isn't going to take this well. He isn't going to take this well at all."

They've all already texted him, but haven't gotten much of a response. 'You don't need to come to school tomorrow.' 'If you need someone to talk to, I'm here,' he'd said, but he wonders if that's not enough. What can you possibly say to someone in a situation like that?

He alone already feels so rotten… so sick and so hopeless. He can't imagine what Kiyoshi is going through right now.

...He and Karasuma are going to need to re-discuss that mental wellness checkup.

It's not fair... that when he'd finally started doing better, the world just had to throw this at him. It's not that he doesn't think Kiyoshi is strong enough to get through this… Kiyoshi's every bit as strong as the 28 of them were back then. But no-one - and that means no-one - deserves to go through what they went through all those years ago.

...Irina had just finally been starting to do better, too.

She'd had a childhood more complex than any of them. More than generalized anxiety, or even the burden of grief… she'd grown up in a war torn world. Irina didn't have bad parents… Irina had none. She weaponized her body from the time that she was a little girl, and grew up with explosions ringing in her ears. Even as a kid, Nagisa had understood that there was something deeply appalling about the way she'd lived. And as he's gotten older and older, the horror has only grown.

Twelve. She was twelve when she became an assassin. A seductress. Even they hadn't been twelve when they'd first picked up a blade. Twelve is so small… so fragile.

...Half of his students are twelve.

Their relationship with Irina had always felt a little different from their relationship with their other teachers. If Karasuma was a distant father and Korosensei an overbearing mother, then Irina was their equal. She'd used their slang and shared their jokes and looked not all that different from them. In hindsight, she hadn't even been a decade older.

...But it was a little more than just simply her age. Irina was missing pieces of herself... pieces that made her a functional adult or even a 'normal' person. And despite all that, they'd loved her. She was the first adult they'd ever seen that was maybe a little broken in the same way they were... and as much as they teased and teased, she made them feel seen.

It'd taken them a long time to realize that. Nagisa thinks the first time they'd realized they and Irina were so much one and the same had been during the incident with the imitation Reaper. She'd done something stupid, and haughty, and hurtful... but so had most of them. Days considering making the move up to the main campus, and deals with masked men to take out their octopod target, even at the risk of their classmates' lives. Secret ambushes, and jumping off a roof so hastily as to snap an old man's back.

They knew just how that felt, didn't they? Seeing Irina, looking so small, and crushed under the rubble, they'd seen themselves, and all of their mistakes. But more importantly... they'd seen the incomplete, broken person she was. The twelve-year-old girl who did what she had to to survive, and the twenty-one-year-old assassin who more than anything just wanted to be loved.

...He wonders if she feels that small now.

She'd gotten better... she'd grown into a person who could smile. She'd seemed so happy with her family. This peaceful world… her husband and her son… they were filling in her missing pieces one by one. She had all but moved on from the horrible world she once lived in. This can't happen now... n ot when things were finally going so perfectly for her.

Because twelve is a pretty young age, sure... a young age to face down ravenous men and the face of death. But thirty-seven is young, too. And if she dies then, after finally just getting to start to live, then… Nagisa…

...Nagisa doesn't think he'll ever forgive that.

He stares absentmindedly at his phone. He knows she won't respond, but he feels the need to say something anyways.

[2/9/2031 5:36 PM:] [Nagisa] Hey.

[2/9/2031 5:36 PM:] [Nagisa] I know you're not gonna get this, at least for a few weeks, but...

[2/9/2031 5:37 PM:] [Nagisa] Please be okay, alright?

[2/9/2031 5:37 PM:] [Nagisa] We need you. I know we didn't always give you as much credit as you deserved, but we need you.

[2/9/2031 5:38 PM:] [Nagisa] And your son needs you, too.

[2/9/2031 5:38 PM:] [Nagisa] Thank you for everything you did for us when we were stupid little brats. And thank you for being our friend.

[2/9/2031 5:38 PM:] [Nagisa] Get better soon. I know you can.

[2/9/2031 5:39 PM:] [Nagisa] If you let this take you out, I hope you realize we'll never stop making fun of you.

[2/9/2031 5:40 PM:] [Nagisa] (JOKING.)

[2/9/2031 5:40 PM:] [Nagisa] Seriously, though. Don't go dying on us. I know you've been through a lot, but there's still so much left for you to experience.

[2/9/2031 5:40 PM:] [Nagisa] Uh. Yeah. That's all.

His heart feels heavy. He closes his DMs with Irina, and messages Karasuma instead.

[2/9/2031 5:42 PM:] [Nagisa] Sorry to bother you now of all times, but we need to talk about what we're going to do with Kiyoshi.

[2/9/2031 5:42 PM:] [Nagisa] I know we just called off the meeting, but I figure this warrants a change of plans.

2/9/2031 5:43 PM:] [Nagisa] Are you free to meet up and discuss his mental health sometime this week?

[2/9/2031 5:44 PM:] [Nagisa] Thank you in advance.

It's a few minutes before Karasuma responds.

[2/9/2031 5:49 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] No. It's not a bother at all.

[2/9/2031 5:49 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] I understand why you'd want to talk.

[2/9/2031 5:50 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] I'm going to be busy sorting all of this out tomorrow. Does Friday work for you?

[2/9/2031 5:51 PM:] [Nagisa] Friday works perfectly.

[2/9/2031 5:51 PM:] [Nagisa] Thanks again. See you then.

[2/9/2031 5:51 PM:] [Karasuma-sensei] Of course.

The rest of the night goes by in a haze. He and his spouses cook dinner together, but it's easy to tell it's less than their usual caliber. Makoto calls Nagisa up a little past 8, sounding worried.

"Do you think Bitch-sensei's gonna be okay?" he asks, voice quivering. "Irina, I mean. I told Kiyoshi she was going to be okay, but now she might not be… and I feel really sick. I'm scared, Nagisa."

"I'm… sure she'll be fine," Nagisa reassures, voice empty. But five minutes of condolences and an ended phone call later, he still doesn't feel so sure. Karasuma doesn't update them about her condition, but they can gauge from the radio silence that it's not good.

Nagisa tucks into bed early that night. And voluntarily, for once. His spouses join him soon after- Karma falling asleep the minute his head hits the pillow and Kayano turning over anxiously in her sleep.

Gakushuu sits awake, reading a book by nightlight. He runs his free hand through Karma's hair, as if offering up some sort of comfort he's not willing to with Karma awake. Nagisa considers starting conversation, but decides against it. He'd hate to wake the others up. And besides… when he opens his mouth to speak, it simply feels dry.

"Love you," he settles on instead.

"...We know," Gakushuu says, glancing his way as he flips his page.

Nagisa pulls his blanket up just a little. Karma snores and Kayano kicks him gently with her foot.

Somewhere not too far from here, Karasuma lies alone in bed… not a sound to lull him asleep. And even lying awake, mind swirling with worries, Nagisa decides that at the very least he's lucky to have this.

In due time, he finally falls asleep. He listens to the sound of his lovers' collective breathing, and slowly but surely drifts off. His own heart slowing, he pulls them in close and savors the feeling more than he thinks he ever has.


Fumiko and Makoto stop by Kiyoshi's house late Thursday afternoon.

It's the day after he first got the bad news, and he's in an indifferent daze when he gets a text from Fumiko.

[2/10/2031 5:07 PM] [Fumiko💜] Hey. We're coming over to your house.

[2/10/2031 5:08 PM] [Fumiko💜] You don't need to invite us inside if you don't want to, but we made something for you in light of the news.

[2/10/2031 5:08 PM] [Fumiko💜] ...We noticed you didn't come to school today. Figured you could use all the pick-me-up you could get.

Kiyoshi sighs. He's hardly in the mood, but he's not going to tell them to fuck off. It's clear they're just trying to show they care. He pushes himself up from his bed and shambles over to his dresser. He slips on his clothes, combs his hair in a desperate attempt to look passable, and is halfway through brushing his teeth when he hears the doorbell ring downstairs.

Heavy footsteps ascend up the stairs. His dad peeks his head into his room, and then- when that fails- his bathroom, murmuring a firm "Your friends are over."

"Okay," Kiyoshi says. "Tell them I'll be right down."

He finishes brushing his teeth… staring at himself in the mirror for a long moment, before turning and making his way downstairs. Fumiko and Makoto are standing in the doorway, each holding a tin of something sweet-smelling.

"Brownies," Fumiko says, giving a wave. "We're well aware they won't exactly fix much, considering your situation, but…" she pauses. "We agreed you could use something sweet right now."

"They've got chocolate chips in them!" Makoto proudly exclaims, holding out his tin of brownies. "Like- they're totally already chocolate- but… y'know! It gives it the extra oomph!"

Kiyoshi gives a blank nod. "...Yeah. Makes sense," he says, reaching out to grab one tin, and then the other. "...Thanks, you two. You didn't need to do this for me, you know."

"...You don't need to thank us," Fumiko says. "It was just the right thing to do."

Makoto nods. "You're going through a lot right now."

...Ha. That's putting it lightly. He feels just about ready to collapse right here and now. He hurries to place his brownies on a nearby table. If his knees are gonna end up giving out on him he'd hate to come tumbling to the ground and ruin all of his friends' hard work.

(He still can't gauge why they did this for him. Makoto should get that this is his fault, at least, shouldn't he? Why doesn't he see it? Is he just refusing t-)

"Can we come in?" he asks, leaning from foot to foot. "Unless, like- you want us to buzz off. That's cool, too."

"We would one hundred percent get it ," Fumiko reiterates. "Your mother's in critical condition. If you don't want us here…-"

'...Critical condition.'

Yeah. That's right. The way they talk about people who are going to die in the movies... unstable heart rate... unfavorable outcome. Fumiko gives him a tentative look, and he remembers seeing her a few minutes past critical condition, too. Is that what his mother looks like right now? Or is it somehow worse?

"Youcancomein," he says in almost one breath. "You… yeah. You can come in."

He takes a step back, motioning for his friends to enter. What else does he possibly have to lose? He'd already told them he wasn't going to avoid them anymore. He's not going to tell them to fuck off just because his mom is dying. That's not… that's not their fault.

Besides… he doesn't want to be alone with his thoughts right now.

Makoto and Fumiko step inside. He asks them if one of them can get the brownies, which Makoto does gladly.

"It's not that I don't- I really appreciate them, but I… like… don't wanna drop them," Kiyoshi explains. "I have felt- uh- super unwell lately."

"Understandably," Fumiko says.

It kills him a little inside to hear how patient she is with him… even when he's leading her right into the lion's den. But he tries not to dwell on it too long. He has enough to think about right now. He doesn't have time to think about the… the way he treated her. His mom is dying! He needs to think about mom! Shut up about yourself for five seconds, Kiyoshi! Just think of your damn mom!

Makoto must notice how unsettled he looks, because he places a hand on his shoulder as they make their way up the stairs. "Deep breaths," he reminds him. "Everything's going to be okay."

"...Yeah," Kiyoshi says. "I know."

He leads them into his room... flinches a little at just how terrible it looks, but flops down on the bed anyways. Makoto flops down next to him, staring up at the ceiling.

"You wanna do anything? Or you just wanna sit?" he asks.

"...I think I just want to sit," Kiyoshi admits. "Sorry if that's not- like… super exciting. If you want, you can… like… use my Verse, but I think I'm just gonna lay here." He pauses. "...Honestly, I'm just thankful you two showed up at all."

"Of course," Fumiko says, placing herself down on the opposite side of the bed. "You need us right now. We weren't going to bail on you."

Makoto nods. "We don't gotta do anything. Sometimes it's nice to just be with the people you care about."

He shifts slightly as he speaks. He says that, but Kiyoshi knows this sort of thing is hard for him. He hates to sit still. He really appreciates that Makoto would be willing to do this for him.

"Do you want to talk?" Fumiko asks. "About what happened? Or…?"

"Not really," Kiyoshi admits. "I think about it and I just get so sick. Even talking about it now, I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Sometimes it can help to get it off your chest," Makoto admits. "Even if it hurts."

"I know," Kiyoshi says. "But I'm not ready for that. Not yet."

Fumiko shrugs. "That's okay, too."

He does almost feel safer… with them there. It's stupid, but they feel like home. Makoto picks at his fingernail and Fumiko scoots just slightly closer onto his bed, and he thinks that maybe things will be okay. They won't, but his friends are good at making him feel like they will be anyways.

...He wonders if they'll be hurt because of him, too.

He instantly resents the thought. 'Stop it,' he reminds himself. 'That's not true. You're just. Being. Irrational.' Literally why would the people he hurt be punished for his sins!? That's fucking retroactive! This is just. Him. Making things about himself again. It always is. But it won't just stop nagging at him.

'Irina didn't deserve it, either,' he tells himself.

'Which is why none of this has to do with you!' he refutes. 'This is not your- your doing! You're not being punished! You're just dealing with the inevitable fallout of… of a terrible life!'

'Your life's not terrible,' he argues. 'Who cares if you've never had a support system, and your parents don't love you, and your mom is dying? Your life is still so much better than you deserve! Don't you fucking complain, Kiyoshi. You should be dead in a ditch right now. You're lucky to be loved at all.'

"...You alright?" Makoto speaks up. "You seem irritated."

"Yeah," Kiyoshi replies. "Just getting myself in a bad mood."

Makoto frowns, before sitting up and sliding the tin of brownies his way. "Have a brownie," he says. "Might help a little."

Kiyoshi's hardly sure he can stomach one, but then again… skipping dinner last night is finally starting to catch up with him. Fine. Whatever. He's not going to turn down Makoto's offer, even if he ends up vomiting it back up into the toilet later. He sits up, carefully removes the lid, and grabs a brownie.

...They're sweet.

"It's good," he says. "Did you two make this all alone?"

"Mmmm!" Makoto brags.

"Technically we used Nagisa's kitchen," Fumiko interjects.

"Okay! So technically we used Nagisa's stuff," Makoto admits "But we did it all by ourselves! Whaddya' think?"

Kiyoshi gives him a halfhearted smile. "I just told you… they're good."

Makoto pumps his fist excitedly, whispering something along the lines of 'success!' under his breath. Fumiko's reaction is much more subtle, but a smile tugs at the corners of her lips, and for just one second Kiyoshi feels warm.

...He'd been wrong… thinking he doesn't have a support system. That's not true. He's always had a support system! Nagisa-sensei and the rest… he's sure even Mom and Dad care in their own ways. But Makoto and Fumiko are his real support system. He'd never felt as seen as he did when he first met them. He depends on them. That's why he wonders… he wonders…-

'No! Stop that!' he reprimands himself like a misbehaving dog. 'They are doing everything in their power to cheer you up! Stop! Spiraling!'

He flops back onto bed after two brownies. "Thanks," he says. "But I don't think I can stomach any more."

"That's okay," Makoto says. "Who knows? Maybe they'll last you for weeks!"

Okay. So maybe it wouldn't be fair if they died… if they were punished… if they crashed and burned in the fallout of his ever-worsening life... but it still feels like something should happen. That they should spit in his face and tell him to kill himself. Now that'd destroy his support system without a single shred of harm to the real victims here.

Makoto's already refuted the idea foolheartedly. 'You're good, Kiyoshi! We're good!' But sitting there, staring up at his blank-white ceiling, he wonders if Fumiko would think the same.

He knows that's not the sort of person Aguri was. But Fumiko's not the kind of person Aguri was, either. And besides… what did he ever really know of her? She was his punching bag! His hatesink! Maybe she did loathe him. He was just too self-absorbed to notice. It's a real possibility, isn't it?

(She wraps her arms 'round his shoulders and cradles him tight. "It's okay," she says with a laugh. "I'm the one who made a mistake! Really!"

Makoto hugs Kiyoshi tight and tells him that none of that matters anymore. He can't help but note just how much his smile resembles hers as he says it.)

...Things would certainly be easier if she had.

He wishes she'd run while she still had the chance. She could have lived a great life. She could have done great things. But instead she bled out, feeling almost completely alone… and now here she is sitting with him.

He wonders if this is her chance to get away while she still can.

Part of him wants to take her by the shoulders. Grab her and shake her and scream 'Go!' 'You're not supposed to be here!' 'I'm only going to hurt you!'

Fumiko passes him her scarf when she notices him shivering, and he doesn't.

"Probably won't help much," she admits. "But you seemed cold. Even if most of it is probably just nerves… its winter. You need to stay warm."

Kiyoshi takes it and wraps it carefully round his neck.

"You sure?" he asks. "I know you get cold easily-"

Fumiko shrugs. "I don't mind. You need it more than me right now."

It's warm and soft to the touch. Fumiko gives him a kindhearted smile, and as Kiyoshi's heart sinks... he decides maybe Fumiko and Aguri aren't that different after all.

...She's better at hiding it… having learned to 'know better' by her parents or her past... but she's every bit as gentle and kind-hearted as she was sixteen years ago. Maybe… maybe she won't run… when she learns the truth.

(If she learns the truth.)

...Kiyoshi can't tell if he's relieved or petrified by the thought.

He really does feel okay… as long as he has them by his side. Sitting here with her scarf around his neck, he forgets about his mom for just one second and he knows that. He never wants to give this up. Because after a lifetime of strife… after a lifetime of self-loathing and anxiety, he finally feels good about himself. And they're his reason for that! Doesn't he… doesn't he deserve to keep that?

...But all the same, he thinks about how poorly he'd treated his saviors back then, and in an instant the scarf around his neck feels rather like a noose.

...Who is he kidding? His feelings don't even matter in this situation. They've never been rational or right. Despite himself, even back then… he'd mourned her for months. Despite treating her like garbage the entire fucking time she was alive, he'd sobbed and sniveled and held her clammy corpse tight. Even now... thinking about it, he remembers how tiny her body had looked and shivers. He wonders if that's Kiyoshi's grief, or Yanagisawa's.

The thought alone makes him angry. 'You don't get to grieve,' he growls somewhere in the back of his mind. 'You don't get to mourn! You're the one who fucking killed her!'

...It's as his fist clenches, and his breath hitches, however, that he remembers they're one in the same. Kiyoshi's grief is Yanagisawa's grief. When he feels bad... it's simply that monster wanting to, or pretending to. Because something sick and sadistic is all he ever has and ever will be.

He wonders if he's allowed to mourn his mom, either.

'Of course you are!' he instantly refutes. ' Not that you need to! Because your mom's not dead! She's not going to die! Shut up, Kiyoshi! Shut up! Stop thinking about it! Besides! This is different! It's not like you killed your mom!'

Killed? Killed? No. Mom's-... she's not dead.

'Is it really so different?' the monster snarls somewhere in the back of his mind . 'You didn't technically kill Aguri. You just berated her and beat her and broke her until there was nothing left of her... until she had no reason to live. She killed herself because you weren't good enough! She killed herself because you were less than garbage!'

'I know,' Kiyoshi tells himself. 'I know.'

It takes everything in his power to resist at clutching his own forehead. No. Not in front of Makoto and Fumiko. He just needs to stay calm. He just needs to stay calm-

'And so you don't need to kill your mother, either. Maybe you just have to be enough of a disappointment! Maybe if you'd been a better son, she'd have quit her job. Maybe she'd have stopped risking her life overseas. Surely she would have had if she really cared about you. But she didn't. You. Weren't. Good enough. And now your mother's going to die!'

...She's not! She's not!

'Your friends are all going to leave you, and your mother's going to die! Admit it!'

Stop- stop. He's spiraling. He's getting lost in his own thoughts. He needs to redirect this- now.

"Kiyoshi," Fumiko says. "What's wrong? You're breathing super heavy-"

"I… I…" 'I'm scared,' Kiyoshi wants to say, but that's not right. 'I'm angry?" ...No. 'I have no idea what's going to happen right now, and I need you here more than anything.' No. No. No! Shut up! Compose your thoughts! Stop! Freaking! Out!

"I… don't know."

"You don't know?" Fumiko asks.

"I just… I just keep thinking about the worst things possible and what's going to happen to my mom and what's going to happen to me. I try to get my mind off of it but then it goes right back and I think about just how much pain she must be in right now and I want to throw up and I feel so sick and I feel so unsafe. Because there's just this - there's just this little voice in the back of my mind telling me I could have changed this somehow and I didn't - I couldn't - and it's too late now- which means… which means I failed her. I failed everyone-"

It all comes out in one breathless sentence. Shoulders shaking and lip quivering, Kiyoshi reaches up to cover his face with his hands.

"...Kiyoshi…" Fumiko says. "I'm sure you didn't-..."

"Yeah! This has nothing to do with you!" Makoto reassures. "Your mom… she's… she's always been in dangerous situations."

"Then why didn't I- I should have tried harder to change that!? It's like… it's like I didn't care. And now it's too late to- And I can't fix things- And it's all over. I'm a bad son and a bad person and… and a bad friend, and… and...-"

He doesn't even realize he's crying until he feels something wet trickle down his finger. But then- like a dam's burst- he lets out an utterly incoherent whimper and sobs into the back of his wrist.

"Kiyoshi-" Makoto says. "You are… you are the furthest thing from a bad friend. And you're not… you're not a bad guy, either! Or a bad son! You are so… you are so good. You just… you just feel…- you're just going through a really bad time right now! And that's okay!"

He says that so confidently, but his words feel empty. Is he saying that because he really believes it, or just because he thinks that's what Kiyoshi needs to hear?

"I'm - I'm so scared that something's going to happen to everyone I care about-" Kiyoshi snivels, refusing to meet his eyes. "I'm so scared this is just- this is just the beginning- and that… that just makes me feel worse because maybe that means I don't feel bad enough and I don't care enough but I care so much- I want to care so much and this already feels like the end of the world to me and I don't know if I can take a thing more-"

Makoto rushes to his feet. "I'm- I'm gonna get tissues-" he says. "Fumiko- can you… can you comfort him?"

Fumiko gives a firm nod.

"Okay. I'llberightback-!"

And with that, Makoto rushes off, diligently sprinting down the hallway. Which… in turn, only makes Kiyoshi weep harder. How… how can he be so dedicated? When he knows what he knows? Shouldn't he see this is Kiyoshi's fault, too-?

(When is he finally going to fucking snap!?)

Fumiko scoots in closer to him, offering up a hand. "...Would… would a hug help right now, or would it just make things worse?"

Kiyoshi stares at her outstretched palms through the gaps in his fingers... eyes welling with tears... because where Makoto knows, and is choosing to act so irrationally anyways, she doesn't. She has no idea. She stares at him with those pitying eyes and that kind smile, even as he wails like a baby and wipes his nose on her scarf.

...She has no idea what he's done to her…

He's manipulating her. Plain and simple. Manipulating. And lying to. And mistreating. And when she learns the truth, she's finally - finally going to leave him too.

He wishes they'd just… they'd just get it over with! They'd just leave already! There is no way his life is going to be one with a happy ending. What happened to his mom is already more than enough proof of that. Why won't they just… why won't they just give up on him!? Why won't Makoto turn tail and run? And why won't Fumiko follow him?

"I… I… don't know," he murmurs. "I want a- I mean I'd like a- but… but…-" he lets out another whimper. "I can't accept that from…- it's too unfai-" he chokes on his own words, shaking his head and batting at his eyes. "Oh my god- I think I don't deserve it, Fumiko-"

His words come out a plea. 'Tell me I'm wrong,' he begs somewhere underneath that quivering voice. 'Tell me it's not too late for me. Please. Please. Please.'

And Fumiko answers. She wraps her arms 'round his shoulders and pulls him up into a hug. "Fucking nonsense."

Kiyoshi collapses into her embrace.

"None of this has to do with you, Kiyoshi. Why the hell would you think you don't deserve compassion!? You're going through more than anyone right now. You… you need support! It's not like you've done something to 'disearn' it! No-one has!"

She says that so confidently, but Kiyoshi shakes his head with another hiccup. She really doesn't know, does she? He doesn't even cross her mind. If she knew the truth… oh, if she knew the truth… how quickly she'd refute that statement.

"But it's like- but it's like-" he sputters, sobbing into her shoulder. "I don't know! Everyone acts like I'm so good, but I'm not, Fumiko! I'm judgemental and I'm mean and I'm selfish. I'm- I'm- I- I am so much worse than everyone seems to think I am! That's why everything's happening! To… to- to mom… and… and… and-" he struggles for breath. "...I just wanna be happy, Fumiko. But I don't think I get to be- I wanna be good! I wanna be happy! I don't wanna be alone, Fumiko! I don't want my mom to die!"

"I know," Fumiko says. "...I know. You're scared, and you have every right to be. But you're not alone. You are never going to be alone." Her voice wavers as she speaks, but it's increasingly clear she's trying her hardest to sound calm. "No matter what happens to you… to your mom, we'll be here for you. We'll help you get through it."

Her grip tightens on his back. Kiyoshi lets out another sob. He wants to believe her words- he really does. But how can he believe that without proof? How can he let her make such a weighty decision without giving her the facts? That's not what a good friend does… that's-

...He should really just say it. He knows now's his chance. Makoto's in the other room, and they're alone. If she wants to push him off the bed and kick his skull in, now would be her best chance. But when he opens his mouth to speak nothing comes out. He's just not ready yet. He'd like to be held, even for a moment more.

"Promise," he says instead, clinging to her shoulders so tight it hurts. "Please… just promise me that."

Fumiko pauses for a long moment, before sighing. "...I didn't think I had to say that, Kiyoshi," she admits. "Of course I promise. We will always be here for you."

And some of that weight lifts from his shoulders. He knows it's superficial- manufactured, but it's what he needs to hear right now. And when he sees Fumiko look at him with those worrying eyes, he tells himself maybe a condolence for him can be a condolence for her, too, even if he hardly believes it.

She walks him through those same anxiety calming techniques he taught her all those months ago... has him count down from ten, and rubs little circles in his back. Slowly but surely, his breath steadies. And although there's still this rotten, nagging hole in his gut, he does manage to dry his tears.

"We're here for you," she repeats again and again. "We're here."

Finally, Makoto comes running back in, brandishing a box of tissues over his head. He rushes over to Kiyoshi's side, practically flinging the tissues at him.

"H-here!" he says. "Sorry it took so long! Your house is a mess! Not that - not that I'm insulting you! I'm honestly just wondering if your dad ever cries!"

'No,' Kiyoshi thinks internally. 'The answer is no.' But he doesn't say it aloud. Instead, he simply wipes at his eyes, and blows his nose so loudly Fumiko jumps.

"...'o need to apologize," he says. "If anything, I'm the one who should be apologizing. 'm sorry for dumping this on you two all of a sudden…"

"Hey… it's okay," Makoto replies. "You're going through a lot lately. We couldn't blame you for getting stressed."

"...Yeah," Fumiko says, being careful with her words. "Your mom had a serious accident. If you weren't at least a little torn up about that…" she pauses. "Well, I'd be concerned. You have a good relationship with her, Kiyoshi. I'd be scared out of my mind too."

"Mmm," Kiyoshi says, crumpling up a tissue and tossing it into the trash can. He reaches for another, dabbing at his eyes. "...Yeah. I know this reaction is normal. At least, I think so. I guess I just feel…-"

Abnormal in everything he does? Exempt from feeling this way because he deserves it? Guilty because there's a lot more on his mind than just his mom's suffering right now? And guiltier, because Fumiko doesn't even know about it? Wondering if he even has a good relationship with his mom at all, and just a little sick to his stomach?

"...Confused. I think that's what I feel right now. Just confused."

"Well…" Fumiko says. "I'm pretty sure that's normal, too."

In hindsight, he's glad he hadn't told her. He's becoming increasingly aware he's going to have to break the truth to her sooner than later if he ever wants to come out of this with his sanity. But if he's going to do it… he wants it to be in a situation where he's not already sobbing all over her scarf. He doesn't want pity. He doesn't want to guilt her into having sympathy for him. If she sees him… he wants it to be for the person he is, good or bad, not for the terrible shit he's going through.

If she just pretended… grit and bear it - the abuse she's been through - just because some shitty dude's mom was dying, then Kiyoshi doesn't think he'd ever forgive himself. He's already put enough evil into the world. He's not going to make her life worse, too.

( 'You're putting it off,' the voice in his head says. 'You're rationalizing it. You're rationalizing lying to her. You're doing what you've always done-' )

'No,' Kiyoshi responds. 'I'm not. I swear to fucking god, I'm not. I'm just doing what I think is right for her.'

' You're doing what's easiest for you. Because you think you can't handle it. And you know it. You're using her for what she can give you. You're using her for unconditional support. Just like you always have. Just like you used your mom. And if you don't man up and say the right thing to Fumiko soon, she's going to fucking di-'

'No. Nonononono.' Kiyoshi refutes. He's not going to think about that right now. Not even a little bit. He has better things to worry about. He's not going to get irrational. Even if… even if…-

Even if the sight of his friends leaves a gaping hole in his heart.

"...You guys should probably get going," he admits. "I'm not a lot of fun to hang out with right now, and I think I could use some alone time."

Makoto's brow furrows with concern. "Are you sure?" he asks. "...I mean - we don't care about fun. But if you want us to go, we're not gonna bug you. We just wanna make sure you'll… like… be okay first."

'No,' Kiyoshi thinks. But he's never been. And there's nothing he can do to fix that. They gave him what comfort they could. He's not going to drag them down with him.

"Yeah," he says. "I'll be fine. Thank you for coming to check up on me, and thank you for the brownies… but… I think I need some time to think."

"Okay," Makoto says, shoulders wilting. "See you tomorrow?"

"We'll see," Kiyoshi replies. "I still don't know. I'll text you either way."

"I'll bring you your make up work if you can't end up coming to school again," Fumiko offers. "Shiota-sensei said you could turn in everything late."

"Yeah. I know," Kiyoshi replies. "And thank you... again."

"No need," Fumiko says, hopping off the bed. Makoto follows after, hesitating in the doorway as he pauses to look back at Kiyoshi.

"One more hug? Before we go? Just for the road?"

Kiyoshi lethargically pushes himself up onto his knees. "I don't see why not."

Makoto rushes over to wrap him in a bear hug. Fumiko hesitates, but follows soon after, giving him a careful squeeze.

"I hope your mom will be okay," Makoto says, burying his face in Kiyoshi's shoulder.

"I hope you'll be okay," Fumiko adds on. "We need you, you know."

"...Yeah. I know," Kiyoshi says, pulling away. "I'll… be fine. Try not to worry about me too much."

"An impossible task…" Fumiko admits. "But we'll try our best."

And with that, they're gone; leaving Kiyoshi alone with the brownies. He reaches for one, a sinking feeling in his gut as he takes a bite.

Because he knows he doesn't believe that, either.


The rest of the day goes by in a dreary haze. Dad peeks his head into Kiyoshi's room soon after his friends leave, awkwardly asking how it went, but Kiyoshi doesn't have much of an answer. He asks if there's any more news about Mom, but there's not. Instead, Dad just stands there in the doorway with those dark eyes... and says he'll let Kiyoshi know when he has more information.

Kiyoshi hears him later that day arguing over the phone. He rolls over and tries to cover his head with his pillow. When that doesn't work, he attempts to give naping a go, but it's no use either. His thoughts are simply too clouded, and he's got this restless bouncing in his leg.

Makoto texts him memes of cute kittens. Fumiko tries to make small talk. Nagisa's family reminds him that they're there for him, and Karasuma reassures him with those awkward eyes.

...None of it helps.

The bad news comes at about evening. It's just before dinner, and Dad's downstairs cooking something when the phone rings. Kiyoshi hears him stop everything, before speaking up in an indecipherable murmur.

"I see," is all he can make out. "...Okay."

There's the creak of heavy footsteps as he ascends up the stairs. He opens Kiyoshi's door just a crack- announcing that they've finally gotten some news.

Kiyoshi feels his heart catch in his throat.

Dad must spot the sheer panic in Kiyoshi's eyes, because he says "...Your mother's not dead," for the second time in the past 48 hours. Pretending that's any sort of assurance, he marches over towards Kiyoshi's bed and places himself down next to him.

"They… believe she's in the process of recovering," he says monotonically. And although Kiyoshi wants to believe him - take the good news and run with it - Dad's empty tone seems to imply a 'but.'

"However…" He sighs. "...They are still dealing with a number of complications. The damage from the blast ended up becoming too severe, and they were unable to battle the infection. They had to… they had to…-" he pauses, shaking his head. "...Your mother lost her leg."

Kiyoshi freezes, clutching at his pant leg. He's silent for a long moment, but finally says "...Oh," when that seems to sink in.

"...They don't know if they'll be able to save the other yet. Either way, your mother will be… released from the Ministry of Defense. She's no longer able to fulfill her duties."

Kiyoshi wants to take him by the collar and shake him. 'Able to fulfill her duties!?' 'Able to fulfill her duties!?' What the hell is wrong with him!? His wife could be dying, and that's how he chooses to word it!? Who cares about her job!? What about her!? What about what she's going through right now!?

"...Oh," he says instead. Too damn afraid to stand up for her, or too damn afraid of punching a hole in the wall, he silences that sadness. "I… I see."

He hates his father so much, but here he is using the same empty words.

It takes all of his effort not to cry. But he won't- not right here - not right now. Not in front of dad. If… if dad won't show vulnerability, then neither will he. He's… he's not weak.

( 'You don't deserve it' the voice in the back of his head repeats. 'You don't get to feel sad. You never cared, anyways.' )

(...Kiyoshi doesn't refute it.)

"Mmm," Karasuma repeats, before falling silent. He sits there for one long moment, before finally standing, and admitting he should go. "...I have people to talk to. Let me know if you need anything."

"Of course," Kiyoshi says.

...He won't.

Instead, he just stares at the imprint Karasuma left in his bed.

'I just want to care' he thinks. 'That's all I want to do. I just want to care.'

...But he doesn't sob into his pillow. He doesn't throw punches, and he doesn't scream. Instead, he simply turns over in his bed and wraps himself in his blanket. He's used all the tears he could possibly muster for today.

Karasuma comes in maybe a half-hour later. He says dinner is ready, but Kiyoshi admits he's not hungry.

"I think I'm just going to sleep."

"...Okay," Karasuma says. "I'll turn out the light for you."

He leaves dinner on the bedside table, just in case Kiyoshi ends up wanting it. But the scent of the sweet meal only makes his stomach turn. He stands to place it on the drawer across the room, if only to give himself some distance. He stares at himself in the mirror- face distorted in the dark- then turns back around, and tosses himself into bed.

Slowly but surely, he drifts off... deeper and deeper until the darkness consumes him.


...That night, Kiyoshi sees him again.

At first he doesn't notice him… lurking in the corner of his room. He groggily peeks open an eye, and notes that it's still dark out. Ah… so he must have been unable to sleep through the night. He can't say he hadn't expected that, and so he's not entirely upset. But when he attempts to turn over and finds himself unable, a cold atmosphere takes over the room, and Kiyoshi catches a glint of sharp teeth.

He's perched on the foot of his bedpost, one leg crossed over the other. His body shivers and morphs. One moment Kiyoshi makes out the killer, and the next the beast. He sees no sight of Makoto, however, watching him with those curious eyes.

He doesn't jump on him… not like last time. He doesn't growl, and he doesn't claw at Kiyoshi's eyelids. Instead, he simply lets out a quiet tsk, and asks, "You know what you need to do, don't you?"

Kiyoshi's quiet. Despite himself, he wants to wiggle away... press himself up against the bedpost and cover his eyes. He knows he has no right to be the one who's afraid here, but all the same, he catches sight of that too-wide, mutated grin, and feels his stomach do flips.

'I think so' he replies, completely unable to move. 'It's about Fumiko, isn't it?'

Even he's sensible enough to know that the beast that stalks his dreams isn't the real Korosensei. The real Korosensei is somewhere across town doing sick flips or smacking his head into a wall or whatever it is Makoto's up to today. This… this thing… this disgusting creature, with the pulsing veins and jagged teeth is no more than a manifestation of his fears. If he's been thinking about something, then he knows that's what it's up to as well.

Korosensei doesn't humor him with a response. He simply watches him with those piercing eyes.

'I know. I need to tell her,' Kiyoshi admits. 'And I will. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself if I don't tell her the tru-'

"Tomorrow."

Kiyoshi's heart skips a beat.

'Pardon?'

"You heard me," Korosensei says, hopping off from the foot of the bedpost. He stalks over Kiyoshi's way from the side of the bed, a horrible wet noise emanating as he drags his tentacles across the carpet. "You're to tell her. Tomorrow."

Kiyoshi stares as the beast edges in closer. If this were any normal situation, he swears his jaw would drop. Instead, he simply gazes up at Korosensei, sheer horror dawning in his eyes.

'I- I can't do that,' he thinks. 'I'm sorry, but I can't. That's not fair to her.'

Korosensei lets out a breathless, wicked laugh. He leans over on the bed, face dangerously close to Kiyoshi as he struggles to catch his breath.

"Not fair to her!?" he asks, disbelief in his voice. "Oh, but lying to her is!?"

'It's-' Kiyoshi finds himself at a loss for words, even here in his dreams. 'It's not lying to her.' he decides on. 'You're the one who told me that. I'm… just protecting her. And I'll tell her eventually. But not right now. She has too much sympathy for me. She… she knows what happened to my mom! I don't want her to- I don't want her to shove her feelings aside because of that!'

"A noble enough reason," Korosensei admits, straightening himself up. "But is it the truth, or it simply what you tell yourself so you can sleep at night?"

'Of- of course it's the truth!' Kiyoshi refutes. 'I just want what's best for Fumiko!'

"Like you know what that is, Yanagisawa," Korosensei spits, his words dripping with venom. "Last I'd checked, your idea for what was best for Fumiko was putting her head through a wall."

Kiyoshi's shoulders wilt. He shuts his eyes, unable to meet Korosensei's gaze. 'I don't have to discuss this with you,' he thinks. 'You're not real. Leave me alone. Leave me alone.'

"You can pretend I'm not here all you want, but I'm never going to leave you, Shiro," Korosensei chides. Kiyoshi feels something press against his wrist- grabbing his hand and squeezing tight. "Just like you can tell yourself you're always doing the right thing. Like you can always make up some new excuse. You can put it off as long as you want… 'Oh... she'll sympathize with me too much right now.' 'Oh… I wouldn't want to ruin her good mood.' 'Oh… she needs me in her future.' You can make it all about her. But I'll always be here to remind you that it's really about you, you, you."

Kiyoshi shuts his eyes tighter, using all his effort just to hold back tears. 'No,' he replies. 'No. No. No. It's not! Shut up!'

But Korosensei doesn't listen. He grips Kiyoshi so tight it hurts, and leans in to whisper. "All because you're scared… scared of being abandoned, and you're willing to do anything to prevent it, even hurt people all over again."

'I'm not!' Kiyoshi wants to say. 'I'm not scared! I'm not selfish! And I'm most certainly not unaware of what I deserve!' But he feels Korosensei's breath hot on his face, and he knows he is. This… this thing is all in his head. And it knows exactly what he's thinking.

...It can see right through him.

'Can you blame me?' he settles on instead.

"Can I blame you?" Korosensei repeats.

'Yes!' Kiyoshi cries, eyes snapping open. 'I don't want to be alone right now! I don't want to lose this support! I'm scared! Scared as I've ever been right now! But my mom could be dying! I need you! I need Fumiko! Let me be selfish, just this once!'

Korosensei tsks, dropping Kiyoshi's wrist as if he's almost disgusted. He wipes his tentacle on the side of his patient's gown, giving an unamused sneer.

"I'm not sure why I'm surprised by this," he says. "Selfish is all you've ever been. Of course you'd make this decision. You are the same person at heart, after all."

'No. No I'm not!' Kiyoshi wants to shriek. 'Is it really so bad!? So evil!? To want companionship!? To be loved!? I won't screw it up this time, I promise!'

"Fine, then. If you're so willing… so ready to hurt the people I loved, then let's talk hurting people. What is that you mentioned earlier?" Korosensei asks. "Something about… your mom?"

Kiyoshi's blood runs cold. Eyes wide… heart pounding... he stares out at the beast, alarms blaring in his mind. 'No. Nonononono' he begs, sputtering for breath. 'Not that. Anything but that-'

Korosensei's smile widens. His eyes narrow, and he lets out a low, amused laugh. "Now that earns a reaction, doesn't it? And here I was thinking you didn't care…"

'I care! I care!' Kiyoshi cries out, tears welling in his eyes. 'Please! Believe me I care!'

"But I'm afraid that caring means nothing," Korosensei tsks, leaning in close… right down to Kiyoshi's eye level. At first glance, his eyes are white and glossy. But when Kiyoshi blinks, they shift to be bright red. Veiny, and far too human. "In fact… if anything, all it's done is spell her demise."

'No! Shut up!'

"That's why I had to do this, isn't it? Because you wouldn't listen to me… because you wouldn't hold yourself accountable for the atrocities you committed… Now your mother's dying, alone and unloved, like a filthy animal… like you deserve to."

'No. Nononono. That's not true! That's not true!'

"Isn't it, though?"

'You didn't… you didn't do this! You didn't blow my mom up! This only happened because she… because she was somewhere unsafe! Because I wasn't good enough for her! You have nothing to do with this! You don't! You don't!'

"You sound uncertain," Korosensei chides, cocking his head. "...You can refute it all you like, but I know you believe me. After all… you've become all bark, no bite." He chuckles, taking Kiyoshi's head and wrenching it upward. There's this sudden aching in his neck. "I'm more powerful than you could ever imagine. Whether you'll admit it or not, we both know I'm responsible. And we both know I won't hold back if you don't choose to do what's right."

'Stop. Stop it! You're not even real! You can't hurt anyone!'

"I'll take the other leg… and then I'll take her life. I'll make sure she sees every bit of it… hears the dwindling heart monitor and feels her own weakening pulse. Remind her she's never going to get to see her family again, and that that's maybe not such a shame after all. After all… she did dedicate her life to a husband who doesn't love her, and a sniveling wretch of a son. Is that what she's dying for? I'll make her regret it... a lifetime soaked in pain… she'll die unaccomplished and unfulfilled, just. Like. I did."

'That's not true! That's not true!' Kiyoshi wails, tears streaming down his face. 'You didn't die alone, and you didn't die unloved! You died surrounded by people who believed in you! Don't talk about it like that!' He struggles for breath, eyes narrowed, and breaths heavy. 'My dad loves my mom! And I love her too! So did you! That's why I know you wouldn't hurt her! Mom was your friend! You'd hurt me, not her!

'You cared about her! And you cared about Dad! You supported them in everything they set out to do! That's why I know you're not real! Not because you're being mean to me! I deserve it! But because I know you'd never hurt my family!'

That genuinely seems to give Korosensei pause for a moment. He drops Kiyoshi's chin… takes a step back, and mulls that over.

"You're correct," he says. "I did love your parents. You're right about that much." He pauses. "...Some of my fondest memories are of teaching with the two of them... pestering your father, and flirting with your mother. They, too, were my supporters through almost everything. I believed in them up until the end… both in their relationship and as individuals. They were brave, kind, and diligent."

"...However," he says, inching in closer. "...There's one important part of this equation you're forgetting… do you know what that is, Yanagisawa?"

Kiyoshi's quiet for a long moment.

'No,' he finally admits. 'I don't.'

That's when Korosensei grabs him by the shoulders and grips him tight. Teeth bared and skin a charred black, he growls- utter vitriol seeping from his tone.

"Maybe I hated you even more than I loved them."

"You, who ruined my life," he says, words ablaze. "You, who killed the one I loved and endangered my children dozens of times. You, the selfish, and abusive, and cruel. Do you know what I'd do just to see you suffer? You are less than dirt, and I would do anything to make you feel what I felt!"

Kiyoshi struggles to wriggle away, but it's no use. He's still unable to move. Korosensei stares him down, gripping his shoulders so tight he thinks they may just shatter and spits his wrathful words. He inches in closer and closer, veins bulging… writhing as he comes to deliver his recompense.

'Haven't I suffered enough?' Kiyoshi wants to ask. 'What else could you possibly do to me?' He thinks of two years spent in a hospital, and the life of an unloved child. But somehow even that's not enough. He remembers shattered rib cages, and kicking others when they were down. He remembers the way Aguri cried when she was alone in her room, and the way Reaper covered his mouth desperately when he spat up his own blood. And he knows without a doubt that nothing Korosensei could ever do to him could possibly be enough.

Even so, he's scared! He's so fucking scared! He can't lose her! Not like this!

'Please!' he cries. 'I'll do anything!'

Korosensei pauses. "Anything?" he asks, cocking his head. "...I suppose I am a merciful guy. I forgave all sorts of atrocities, didn't I, Yanagisawa? I wanted to believe anyone could redeem themselves. Even scum like you." He seems to think it over. "I'll cut you a deal… if you really want to save your mother's life… and you're too cowardly, too pitiful to tell the world the truth... then why don't I just end it all for you here instead?"

Kiyoshi's heart stops.

"I could make it quick… but of course I wouldn't. You don't get afforded that."

His blood runs cold. Sweat drips down his temples, and his eye twitches gently. No. No. N- not that either!

'Why not?' he asks himself. 'You'd certainly deserve it, wouldn't you?'

'No! No! I'm not ready!'

Korosensei grins, lifting one knee and then the other. He hauls himself up onto the bed and plants himself firmly on Kiyoshi's chest- the sheer weight crushing his ribcage.

Kiyoshi tries desperately to push him off, but it's no use. His limbs simply won't move. Tears welling in his eyes… 'stop it!' he shrieks. 'Wait! I'm not ready! I don't want to die! I'm still scared!'

The Reaper's claws drift closer towards his throat.

"...I'd take my time… make sure you suffer. Gouge out your eyeballs and claw into your chest. Savor every damn scream. Finally you're the one I can do anything I want to. Just like how you treated me…"

His grip tightens... and Kiyoshi struggles to breathe. Has… has he worked himself into an asthma attack? 'I need to wake up!' he pleas, but it's no use, and he wonders for just one horrified second if this is the truth. If Korosensei's come back to ravage him, and this is the way he'll meet his end.

"I'll watch you choke on your blood and struggle for breath. Chip away at you bit by bit until there's nothing left. I want to hear you scream." Korosensei chuckles. "Don't you think that's only fair, Yanagisawa? You relished in my suffering."

'That's- that's not my name,' Kiyoshi wants to cry. 'That's not my name,' or at the very least 'I don't want it to be.'

"Really, it's the happiest ending. Your friends will finally be safe, and they'll never have to know. Wouldn't you prefer that, coward!? To be remembered as some pathetic, mundane thing!? It's everything you ever wanted! They'll think you're innocent! Perfect! And you'll never have to tell them the truth! All you have to do is give up!"

'No! No!' Kiyoshi chokes.

"Why? Because you're somehow still a stupid, self-pitying thing who believes you deserve to be in this world, or because you know I'm right? That the truth has to come out sooner or later, whether you like it or not?"

'I… I don't know!' Kiyoshi says. 'Just let me go! Let me go! Please!'

And Korosensei's grip tightens into a chokehold. Claws digging into Kiyoshi's throat… eyes glowing in the dim light, he looms over him with that unwavering grin. Kiyoshi struggles to kick - to scream- but it's no use. He's stuck - paralyzed - utterly helpless. He chokes- sputters - begs for breath.

'I'll do anything!'

"TELL HER!" Korosensei roars. "TELL AGURI THE TRUTH! TELL EVERYONE! LET THE WORLD KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE!"

'I'm scared!' Kiyoshi cries, tears streaming down his face. 'I'm sorry! I know that's selfish! But weren't you scared, too!? Surely you never wanted your kids to know!'

Korosensei's veins throb red. His face goes dark, and his tentacles writhe. "Don't you dare place yourself on the same level as me!" He hisses. "We are nothing alike! I loved my students! More than anything! But this thing you have! It's no more than an illusion!"

'That's not true!' Kiyoshi weeps. 'It's not!'

"ISN'T IT, THOUGH!?" Korosensei demands. "Give it up already! They don't love you! They will never love you! You're nothing more than the monster that haunts their dreams! Stop pretending! Stop hiding away! Let them know what you are! Before I take it all away!"

'No! No! You're not real!'

"I'll kill you! I'll kill your mother! I'll make sure you suffer! I'll give you every rotten thing you deserve! I'll make damn sure of it! Don't you doubt me! I'll end you right here!"

Kiyoshi shuts his eyes tight, feeling his face go pale as the grip on his neck only tightens. 'I just want to be happy!' he begs. 'I want to live! With my mother! With my friends! Please! Tell me it's not too late for me! Tell me I can still be happy!'

"YOU CAN'T! YOU'LL NEVER BE! You're nothing more than a beast! A mockery of goodness! A sociopath desperately trying to pretend to be anything he's not! But I know the truth! And I know you'll never live anyways! No matter what you do! No matter if I kill you right here - right now - or you finally kill your damn self. This thing you're doing! YOU'RE NOT LIVING! YOU'RE GUILTY! YOU'RE HAUNTED!"

'I thought I was getting better!' Kiyoshi whimpers. 'I really did! But then… then that just had to happen to Mom! I don't know if I'm ever going to be okay, Korosensei!'

"EVERY HORRIBLE THING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU. IT WILL ALWAYS HAUNT YOU. IT WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR FAULT. UNTIL YOU SCREAM THE TRUTH FROM THE ROOFTOPS, YOU'LL NEVER KNOW PEACE. EACH WAKING MOMENT - EACH UNRELATED BURDEN WILL BECOME YOUR DAMNATION! YOU MUST TELL THEM THE TRUTH, OR YOU'LL NEVER DAMN LIVE!"

"YOUR MOTHER! SHE'LL COME HOME TO NOTHING! IT'S KILLING YOU SLOWLY! CHIPPING AWAY AT YOUR HEART AND AT YOUR SOUL! I'M KILLING YOU! YOU'RE KILLING YOU! YOU'RE KILLING YOURSELF!"

His shadow looms larger and larger. The weight on Kiyoshi's chest grows. He peeks one eye open, but notes vision fading to black. He can't breathe. He genuinely can't breathe!

'It hurts!' he chokes. 'You're hurting me, Reaper! Stop it!'

"THAT'S ALL I WANT," Korosensei snarls. "I want to see you suffer! I want to see you die!"

'That's not who you are!' Kiyoshi refutes. 'I know it's not! You're not some monster! You're not bad! You wouldn't want to hurt me! You wouldn't!'

"How do you know that!? How do you know what I think!? The serial killer!? The monster!? The harbinger of your condemnation!? You couldn't understand me if you tried!"

'But I do!' Kiyoshi whimpers. 'I do!'

"NO! YOU DON'T!" The shadows writhe, and Korosensei's claws pierce his skin. Warm blood drips down his throat. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you both!"

'No! No you won't! You're good! You're good, Korosensei! You're right! You're good! Unlike me!' he wails. 'I'll tell them! I'll tell them everything! Even if I'm scared, and pathetic, and I deserve to die! But not until you let go! Not until you let me breathe!'

"AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD I DO THAT?"

'Because you don't hate me, Makoto!'

Kiyoshi's chest rises and falls with each heavy breath. He stares down Korosensei, eyes narrowed into little slits. Even with his vision fading to black… with claws wrapped round his throat and a horrible sinking feeling in his chest, he's so certain of that that it hurts. He wants to ball his fist... scream... but instead, he simply glares with those defiant eyes and says it again, quieter this time.

'...You don't hate me.'

Makoto had told him that himself. And he'd put so much faith into it. His future… his hope for himself as of late... it's felt like it's hinged on Makoto's belief. Those words he'd said with such conviction... 'You can still be happy.' 'You can still do the right thing.' 'It's not too late for you. I promise...' they've been all Kiyoshi's had!

Now that gives Korosensei pause.

He doesn't release his grip on Kiyoshi's throat… but it loosens, just slightly. He stares down at him with curious eyes.

"You really believe that?" he asks.

'Yes! I believe that! More than anything!' Kiyoshi says. 'And don't you dare refute it! I know you can't! Because I believe it! With every fiber of my being! I know I've done the wrong things… I know what happened to my mom might even be my fault, but please… don't say it's too late for me. You're all I have. You're my best friend, Makoto.'

He struggles for breath, tears pricking in his eyes. He chokes on his own words. 'Please.' he thinks. 'Please. Please. Please.'

Finally, Korosensei releases his throat. Tentacles morph to hands, and as Kiyoshi gasps for breath, it's Makoto left there sitting on his chest.

He's quiet for a long moment, thinking over Kiyoshi's words. And when he finally speaks up, it's in a quiet voice. "...A touching notion," he admits. "It would be sweet if we truly did live in a world like that. But how can you be so certain? Aren't I someone infamous for hiding my feelings? What if I'm just burying it? The ways you've hurt me? You know I'm willing to."

His words are malicious, but the way he says them isn't. If anything, he just sounds genuinely curious, looking down at Kiyoshi with those big black eyes.

...Kiyoshi doesn't have a response.

"...But… okay. Let's pretend, sure. Let's say I don't hate you. I'm not hiding anything, and I don't want to hurt you. We can keep on being friends, and nothing will ever happen between us. Even then… I'm still not sure this is such a happy ending for you."

Kiyoshi says 'why?', but he already knows. Somewhere deep in his heart… alongside the increasingly sinking feeling in his stomach, he knows.

"...Because even if I forgive you. I support you in everything you do, and believe in you up until the very end…"

Makoto's smile is just a little too wide. He hops off the bed and from Kiyoshi's chest. Turns his back to him and marches towards the door - his foot just barely brushing by something Kiyoshi hadn't noticed before.

"...She certainly won't."

The scent of death overtakes Kiyoshi. Blood seeps into his carpet and his breath hitches in his chest as he makes out the figure lying there on his bedroom floor. Not glaring… not taunting… and not monstrous as Korosensei, but rather just… still. Pale… sickly, and still covered in bruises as she stares up at him with unfocused, glazed over eyes.

...Aguri.

'Makoto!' Kiyoshi cries, but he's already gone. The monster's vanished, and he's left alone with his own guilty conscience. Tears spilling down his cheeks… the scent of blood making him choke and gag… Kiyoshi stays, unable to move, and simply stares at her dying corpse.

More than anything, he wants to help. Rush over there and apologize. Seal her wounds and perform CPR. But not even a finger lifts to move. And as he cries out in his mind 'Wait! Please forgive me!' 'I didn't mean to, I swear!' somewhere not so long ago, Yanagisawa takes Aguri by the throat and chokes her until she's sputtering for breath.

"I'm- I'm sorry!" she cries, stumbling back and pressing herself to the wall. "I didn't mean to - I shouldn't have- I'm sorry!"

'You're sorry!? YOU'RE sorry!?'

Aguri bleeds out onto his floor, and even then, somehow, she looks meek. Stares up at him with those big, glassy eyes and a smile still on her face, as if saying 'Sorry. I really screwed this one up, didn't I?'

'No! No! It wasn't you! It wasn't you!' Kiyoshi wants to shriek. But as he bolts to his feet, finally freed from the grips of his nightmare… he barrels off the bed and onto the floor, only for his hands to grasp nothing. Aguri's gone, and with her the scent of blood… leaving Kiyoshi alone in his room.

He reaches up with shaky hands to touch his throat... finds no sign of bruises, claw marks, or handprints. Slowly but surely catches his breath and wipes at his teary eyes.

'...Ah. So it really had been a dream.'

He doesn't motion to get off of the floor. Simply sits there, staring up at his ceiling fan as he remembers what Korosensei had said to him.

...Aguri's face is still so fresh in his mind.

He fumbles for his cell phone... snatches it off of his bedside counter and opens his texts. The bright light burns his eyes in the dark, but he supposes it doesn't matter. He's not going to get back to sleep tonight, anyways.

...He knows what he has to do.

He doesn't know why. Maybe because he owes it to her, or maybe because he wants to save his mom, or maybe because he just wants to finally breathe. Whatever the reason is, he's taken this thing as far as it can go.

It's time he finally takes whatever it is that'll come to him.

...He just hopes Makoto won't be too mad.

[2/11/2031 3:32 AM:] [Kiyoshi] Hey… Fumiko?

[2/11/2031 3:32 AM:] [Kiyoshi] Can we talk about something after school today?

[2/11/2031 3:33 AM:] [Kiyoshi] It's important. Thanks.

He feels sick to his stomach, but there's no backing out now. He tosses his phone across the room and curls himself in up to his knees. Trying his hardest not to cry, Kiyoshi does all he can do now…

...Wait for the end to come.