A/N: Hey guys, sorry for such a late post, but I got busy with work and then with the way things are with COVID-19, everyone just take care, be safe as you can be, and remember we'll get through this. And to those who work with the public, doctors, nurses, store staff, etc. Thank you guys for everything, I ask everyone to hold a minute of silence for the ones who've passed and a minute of applause for the daily heroes, who today are as big as life, super heroes.
"It's been so long that I felt clean air on my face. Even if it was in the middle of the night, my heart, no my soul wanted to tear in two. They didn't say much except that I was free. I thought it was a cruel joke, but no, here we are on the boat, with no restraints on me." Sirius thought to himself as the boat carried him to land, he was weak magically and physically, doing any apparitating would cause him pain or serious injury.
He had his face turned up to the heavens feeling the spray of the water and clean air, praying he wasn't dreaming, but when he opened them to face land, the image he saw made him believe he died instead. There standing on the docks, was his best friend, with such a feeling of life in him, he turned his face high up in the air and howled as he once did as a teen.
Remus howled in response as well, laughing even though he hated the greeting his heart pulled that he got one of his best friends back, he helped Sirius off the boat and hugged him tightly, neither could believe this was real, but once they separated, Remus introduced Sirius to the young woman who waited quietly nearby.
"Sirius, this is Tonks...my fiancee." Remus said proudly and with great shyness.
Sirius smiled and tried to pat himself down to look presentable, he wore tattered robes, hand me downs donated to Azkaban for releases, "Hello, I'm glad someone is making an honest man out of Remus."
Tonks laughed, "Welcome back Sirius, it took some time, but he finally came around."
"Oh ho! So, you asked." Teased Sirius, life slowly coming back into him, "I like her already Remus." He patted Remus on his back.
All three then waited for the Knightbus and were transported to Diagon Alley. Tonks gave him a haircut before they had dinner, cutting his hair that went down his back, to just under the chin, so he could wear it down or in a ponytail. And gave him a good shave, she left a bit of a beard and mustache on, to hide his haunted look, then Sirius got his first bath and shower in years, a decent bed to sleep in, clean clothes, and a hot bowl of soup and a sweet pumpkin juice.
When he was alone in the living room, in a corner, he silently wept, he forgot what it felt to be a normal human. He forgot the feel of another person, and Remus' hug was invigorating, he forgot how it felt to be with friends, to feel love and kindness. The scent of cleanliness was the most overwhelming; breathing once more through your nose was forgein, to have a belly filled with warm food, even though it was soup, it had flavor, it had heart. To feel comfort instead of pain when he laid down, he forgot these so easily, but above all, he forgot how freedom felt and to have it, with no restraints it was too much for him.
Sirius felt odd to know he was no longer locked up, that he could go out any minute and no one would be looking for him. But for a couple of days he stayed inside, out of sheer familiarity of being locked away. And it was the beginning of Summer, there were too many people out for his comfort.
But a week into July he finally took his first step out, first to nearby shops, everyone knew him though, someone had gotten a hold of an old picture of his and placed it in the newspaper. He got reactions from everyone, they've all read the stories, they were all in shock and in fear, that it was Peter and that he got away.
One day, Florean Fortescue had walked up to him, took his hand and shook it, "I knew it couldn't have been you, I just knew it." And took him to his shop and served him a bowl of each flavored ice cream he had.
The store manager from Flourish and Blotts gave him the most popular books from the years he was gone for free, and the current one at twenty percent off.
These were just some of the good reactions, there were those who offered the worst of comments.
A lady picked up her daughter and crossed the to the other side of the street and walked quickly to avoid any contact with him.
One man who was carrying packages, accidently bumped into Sirius, and when he realized who he was, spat at his feet.
But the worst of all, was of an older man, who lived through Voldemort's era, who went up to Sirius, who was doing the shopping with Tonks; whom wanted to make his favorite meals, and poked him in the chest saying, "You may have gotten out now, but we know the truth, you're You-Know-Who's bitch and he's got you doing his errands again, like you got the Potters killed!"
Sirius got mad, he didn't get a new wand yet, but he didn't need one for in his anger, he had a solid grip on the older man, "I did no such thing," he growled at him, Tonks tugged on his coat, "Sirius leave him, he doesn't know any better, please."
Sirius only then released him and watched as the older man scurried away, but a crowd had gathered around to watch, Sirius glanced around without looking at anyone, but instead of leaving he opened his arms and spoke loudly.
"Anyone else has something to say!" He waited for anyone to say something, "If you don't then let me make this very clear, I did not murder my best and his wife, I did plan on murdering the traitor Peter Pettigrew, but he got away. I would give up my life for my friends, and James was more than that, he was my brother!"
He paused as he watched people squirm under his gaze, "Now what do you have to say?"
A voice behind him spoke up, "I believe you Sirius."
Sirius turned around and he felt his blood run cold, he felt he was looking into the past, but the eyes were what proved he wasn't. He was staring at Harry for the first time since he was a year old.
Sirius still had his arms wide in a challenging stance and Harry took the opportunity and ran at him, he pressed himself tightly against Sirius, wrapping himself in a hug with his hands almost going all around Sirius' waist. It felt odd to start the hug, but it felt nice to know it was given to someone who, he believed, cared for him.
Sirius stood stunned for a few seconds and hugged Harry back, and he heard the clapping and cheering. The crowd parted and let them walk away, the grocer gave Tonks the food for free and wished them good luck.
Once back at the flat, Tonks went to the kitchen to make lunch and gave Harry and Sirius some privacy.
"Harry, my god Harry, you look like your dad, except you have Lily's eyes." Sirius said smiling.
Harry smiled brightly and he started asking about his dad and his mom then and Sirius filled him in, how at first there was no love, just friction, but slowly they started to see the best in them, and how they fell deep in love by the time they graduated.
Sirius sighed and in a heavy voice, after catching his mistake and Harry's worried glance, "I do regret to say though, despite your dad being a great bloke, he was also the worst in our first years."
Harry was surprised at the bluntness, "The way they talk about him and mum, I thought they were great."
Sirius nodded and leaned forward, "You best hear it from me then, they were Harry, before they married, during our time at Hogwarts, and after, they were great people, to me, to anyone who had the pleasure of calling them friends. But they had their faults."
Sirius went on to explain how they were full of themselves, believing they, the Marauders he explained, knew all the answers because of their intelligence and quick wits, even Peter, and believed they were above all since it was them four.
It was Lily and Remus who helped level their heads, he also explained one of the worst moments that James ever had.
"I'm sure you know by now, but Snape and your dad had a bitter rivalry, it started from the first time we were on the train." Sirius explained.
Harry stood up looking at him, "Professor Snape and my dad were enemies?!"
It made sense now, the subtle hate that he felt from Severus, "But why?"
Sirius sighed, "It's part of the damn Sorting, your dad was a Gryfindor through and through, and Snape was a proud Slytherin, that fueled their rivalry. And part was Lily."
Harry looked surprised and felt very uncomfortable where this conversation was going, "My mum?"
Sirius nodded, "In the beginning she was friends with Snape, best friends in fact, we tried to keep her away, but she defended him heartedly. But one day, Snape said some awful things to her, and she broke the friendship and she became friends with us."
Harry sat down, "You're arseholes then, the lot of you." He felt disappointed in them and pushed himself away from the couch and started to pace.
Remus walked in at that moment he finished a tutoring session early, and greeted Harry and Sirius with a happy grin, which quickly faded when Harry yelled at him.
"You knew Professor Snape hated my dad and didn't tell me!" Harry didn't mean to yell, but the way Severus treated him was similar to Uncle Vernon's behavior and he hated it. He hated feeling that no matter where he was, there was someone always reminding him he was a waste of space.
Remus sighed and placed his items on a nearby table, he knew this conversation was going to happen one day, but he hoped it would be much later. "It's not an excuse Harry, but I didn't want to tarnish the memory you have of your parents, and it is Severus' story to tell."
Harry fumed, he saw reason in Remus' word, but was still upset that his parents weren't the picture perfect couple he imagined, "What else?" He might as well ask the other horrible deeds.
Sirius looked back at Tonks in the kitchen, "Harry you have to understand, we were arrogant. We scored higher than everyone, even Peter, we each pushed the limits of our time and we got away with so much."
Harry frowned, "You were just rule breakers?"
Sirius nodded and looked at Remus who sat down next to him, and he chipped in, "We regret it now Harry, but there is one thing they did that helped me. One that made me be so grateful to have them as friends, especially your dad. You see Harry, I'm a werewolf and your dad convinced us to help with Animagus transformations." Remus said.
Remus continued with a sigh and looked at his feet in shame, "Your dad called it my furry little problem, and hopefully this can convince you, your dad was a wonderful person. He brought up being Animagus so that I wouldn't be alone during my transformations."
Harry sat on the floor in front of them, Sirius nodded in agreement, "He said it was for Remus' sake, and he went through extremes to get the books on it, and made sure he went first in case something bad happened, and helped Peter through the process, when he cared, he cared deeply Harry."
Remus looked at Harry with pain in his eyes, "And Lily was a godsend, she treated me with such respect Harry, with love, I wasn't a monster, I was a person. And she stayed friends with Severus even after all the mean things people said about him, and the bad things he'd done. He's no angel, none of us were, but we were young and foolish."
Harry gave pause, the conversation stilled as he digested what Remus said, young and foolish, despite it all he can't blame them, anyone really, not even Severus. They had their faults, and made efforts to make up for it, James and Lily died fighting against Voldemort, Remus and Sirius lived fighting with heavy repercussions, and Severus had the worst, he was under Dumbledore's thumb.
They may have paid a price, yet Harry wanted to yell, to call them liars, to break things, but he couldn't say anything, he just fumed in silence his disappointment apparent.
Sirius noticed the quiet anger, similar to his own growing up, and sat down next to Harry and whispered, "The goodness in them Harry, such amazing goodness, you have that, you know? You're just like them."
Remus noticed the same, and remembered his own anger during the transformation, he rubbed Harry's back, and Harry felt a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he understood, this is what it felt like to be cared for, to be loved, to be worried over.
And to hate them at the same time, he reverted back to his cupboard days and bowed his head on his knees, he bit his lip to fight back the tears and rocked slightly.
Then he felt slender arms wrap around him, and Tonks soft voice, "It's ok to be angry Harry, it doesn't make you worse than any others, in fact it shows how much you love."
He didn't answer her so she continued, "We want our parents to be perfect because we love them, and when they disappoint us, we hate them for it, but we still love them."
Only then did Harry move his arms down to give her a sideways hug and buried his face in her shoulder.
Remus hugged Tonks and Harry and Sirius hugged Harry from the other side. All four sat quietly for what seemed like hours until Harry spoke up, "You're all barmy."
They laughed and Tonks led them to the kitchen, reheating the food and serving them all. They made plans for the next couple of days, from wand shopping to a visit to Harry's uncle and aunt's house. The past momentarily forgotten as they enjoyed the present.
