*missing scene from Silver Star*
"When you see yourself in a victim, it really eats away at you."
Linda sighed as she saw Danny sitting on the bench at the end of h their bed. Frank's words stuck to her like gum on a favorite shoe.
"You've been a million miles away these past few days. What's going on?" She wondered, sitting on the floor in front of her husband.
"There was this one night, I was out on patrol in Iraq," Danny started, a glass of whiskey in his hand, "I sprained my ankle. Stepped in a ditch or something, I don't know. Anyway, I was fine. I got back to the fire base, iced it up. No problem. The next day, they sent somebody else out in my place. Bobby LaRue. I called him Chuckles, you know?"
"Like the candy Gramp likes."
"Like the candy. Sweetest hillbilly kid you ever met. He was out about 20 minutes, you know, before a sniper put a round through his neck. He was 19. Stupid kid... It should've been me."
"No. No." Linda shook her head, tears brimming her eyes. How could he think that? He's so needed.
"Some days I look at you, and I look at my boys. And I just think: 'Did that 19-year-old kid have to give his life so I could have all this'?"
Linda laid her head on his knee, wishing there was something she could do to make it all better. She had never told Danny, but sometimes, when he had come back from Iraq, she was scared. Scared that he'd do something without thinking, something impulsive, and leave her a widow. Her fear had lessened over the years, but she still harbored some of it. She had no idea that a month or so later, that fear would rear its big, ugly head around again.
Linda traced the hem of his pant leg, "you're a good man, Danny Reagan."
Danny shook his head, "yeah right."
"You are." She looked up at him, "did you really think the only reason I married you was for your Adonis-like sex appeal?" At least she got a smirk out of him, "we're here for you, you know. Me and the boys. Your family, even your family in blue. We're your refuge, your shelter, your fan club. We'll be there for you. Come to us when you need comfort, when you need shelter. Not the liquor cabinet."
Danny smiled a little and carded his fingers through his wife's hair, "when did you get so smart?"
"You've always known I'm the brains and you're the beauty in our little operation."
"C'mere," he patted the seat next to him. Once Linda sat down, he put his arm around her.
She rested her head on his shoulder, "Please stop thinking 'what-ifs'. To quote your mother, 'obviously, God had a plan. He needs you down here more than up there'."
"How do you remember all these things my mother said?"
"Because she always told me when I was scared. Whenever you were injured on the job, and landed in the hospital, she told me things like that... I wrote them in my diary. There good things to remember..." comfortable silence hung in the air until Linda spoke up, "your guardian angels are gonna be pissed when you make it up to Heaven."
Danny chuckled, "I think all the angels watching this family are gonna be pissed."
She lifted her head, "feel better now?"
"Yeah," he kissed her lovingly, "I love you."
"I love you more."
"I love you most." She rested her head on his shoulder again, praying he'd figure out the case quickly.
