Book 7-Whatever happened to the Goblin Slayer?-part 2
Goblin Slayer's feet finally found dirt and leaves and he caught the slowly descending torch and looked around to see where he should go from here.
"Eat me? Drink me?" Said the Goblin Slayer as he read the labels of two bottles that where on a table in the middle of the bottom of the rabbit hole.
"This is an obvious trap. Leave poisons here for fools." Said the Goblin Slayer as he then moved to smash both bottles and continued to look around for the way outside.
But he hesitated at the last moment.
Remembering the lessons from when he destroyed Rou's horde and ordered to burn the books, Goblin Slayer could hear the advice of Priestess, Warrior, Mage, Lizard Priest, Dwarf and High Elf Archer.
So he decided to pocket the two bottles and continue on.
He stumbled onto a door that was too small for him to pass through. Crouching down Goblin slayer saw that the door lead to the outside and namely a beach.
"No additional tunnel. Based on proportions only about 3 inch thick wall. So there's only one way out." Said the Goblin Slayer as he took out a shovel and started digging around the door.
"What are you doing!" The doorknob suddenly said as he spat out some dirt that had fallen in his mouth while Goblin Slayer was digging around.
"Leaving." Said the Goblin Slayer.
"Old boy this isn't how the story goes. You're supposed to use the bottles to make yourself not too big or small." Said the door knob.
"You know how they work?" Said the Goblin Slayer.
"Yes. Drink me makes you small, eat me makes you big." Said the doorknob.
"Do you know anything else about this place?" said the Goblin Slayer.
"Why yes! A door opens many possibilities and I have eyes on both sides." Said the Doorknob.
Goblin Slayer then grabbed the door by the frame, ripped it out of the wall and started tying it to his belt.
"What are you doing?!" Asked the frightened Doorknob.
"Ripping you out of the wall and tying you to my belt so I can use you for information in this world." Said the Goblin Slayer.
"This isn't how it goes! You're supposed to find the right size and only then continue on! This isn't the right way!" Said the Doorknob.
"It's my way." Said the Goblin Slayer as he then finished digging a hole big enough and crawled through it and right into the sea.
He was about knee deep in the water when he saw how two feet away some bubbles in the water, then...then a small walrus dressed in a suite was dancing out of the water as it played a flute tune on his walking cane.
Following him was a pack of walking oysters, this strange procession was followed by a Carpenter and the duo lead the oysters to a table.
Once there Goblin Slayer saw that they started picking the oysters and made to eat them, moving swiftly he grabbed the two small beings in both of his hands.
"Let them go." Said the Goblin Slayer to the small duo, who in fear let the oysters go.
The oysters then hurriedly ran back into the sea.
"C-come now old chap. We we're just having a spot of lunch." Said the small Walrus in fear.
"Y-yeah you can join us if you want. We can sit down and t-talk about…about…."Said the Carpenter, stuttering in the giant like Goblin Slayer's grip.
"About cabbages and kings. So why don't you be a good chap and-"
"You don't look like them." Said the Goblin Slayer as his grip tightened.
"But you're the same. You don't look, or talk, or smell like them. But you are them. A different kind of them." Said the Goblin Slayer as he squeezed his fists tightly shut crushing the Walrus and the Carpenter.
"A different kind of goblins." Said the Goblin Slayer as he then opened his fists, but instead of the crushed bodies of the duo, he found something else in his hands.
"Plants?" Said the Goblin Slayer.
"Well what do you expect? They were both bad seeds, but even bad seeds can a noble tree grow up to be." Said the Doorknob.
Goblin Slayer didn't waste too much time on this, so he walked to the beach and planted the two trees on the nearest patch of dirt.
"What kind of plants will grow from these saplings?" Asked The Goblin Slayer.
"Oak trees and walnuts." Said the Doorknob.
"Why those trees?"
"What else can a Walrus produce but Walnut trees? And any Carpenter worth his salt dreams of using sturdy oak in his craft." Sid the Doorknob.
Goblin Slayer nodded and then continued his journey.
Time passed him and as it did so at one point Goblin Slayer decided to check the hour. Then he continued on his journey, after what felt like at least an hour pass him, he checked his pocket watch again, again the same hour.
Sensing that something was amiss, Goblin Slayer pulled out a 5 minute sand timer hourglass and flipped it over.
"One, two, tree, four." Counted the Goblin Slayer.
"595, 596, 597, 598, 599, 600l. And yet the hourglass is not near to being empty. Why does time not pass 5 o clock?" Asked the Goblin Slayer.
"Well, Time just passed us down the road and he seemed to have been in a foul mood. Perhaps he did something and we walked into the affected area." Said the Doorknob.
"And how do we fix this?" Asked the Goblin Slayer.
"Time will tell of course." Said the Doorknob.
Goblin Slayer couldn't make heads or tails of that and he was pretty certain that at some point he would run into a sculptor who could make heads or tails but forgot along the way, that was the feeling he got from the weird place he was in.
But even an idiot like him knew that staying still solved nothing, so all he could do was continue on his journey, even if Time passed them by and forgot about them.
"Where are we going?" Asked the Doorknob.
"To find my sister." Said the Goblin Slayer.
"And where is she?" Said the Doorknob.
"Don't know, all I know is that she's late and so are we." Said the Goblin Slayer as he made his way through the countryside and after crossing a hill he saw a house with a table in front of it.
Goblin Slayer walked towards it and another strange thing of this land happened.
And since in this world the further you got away from something the closer it got to you, so did the Giant Goblin Slayer become shorter and shorter the closer he got to the faraway table.
"Why am I becoming smaller as I get close to the table?" Asked the Goblin Slayer.
"Well you can hardly sit at a table at your size now could you? It would be rude!" The Doorknob said with a chuckle.
A tea party table.
xxxxx
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