Running. That was what she was good at. All her life Vi had been running, never stopping to catch a breath, never taking a break. That was what she was good at, that's how she had learned to live. She pretended to the tough one, always ready to pick up a good first and bust some head, always prepared to make a door to run through when there was nowhere to go. But the truth was that Vi was a really good runner.
That night Vi ran like she had never run before, not daring to look back. She was too afraid to face the burning rumbles of the broken heart she had left behind. Vi hated herself, she really did. If she could have done otherwise, if there would have been another path, she would most certainly follow it. But there was only one path and that was the one of betrayal. What was worse was the fact that she had known for the very beginning and she had done absolutely nothing to make the situation any easier for both her and Caitlyn. Instead of keeping a safe distance, she came extremely close to the fire and ended up getting burnt. Now Vi ran, leaving the pieces of her own broken heart to scatter as she passed through.
Why had she allowed herself to fall in love with someone that she should have never been involved with in the first place? She had been so selfish, desperate for the loving touch of someone else rather than her loneliness. It was not just Caitlyn who would never forgive her. She would never forgive herself for as long as she lived. This was a burden that she had to carry forever.
Their escape had been chaotic but at least they managed to return safely to their portable hideout which they had set it up on an empty plot near the harbor, always invisible to the rest of the world. Vayne had been left behind to supposedly guard it, although Vi was sure she was still not capable to even protect herself yet. Her recovery was slow but steady, that was something. At least she was not alone through this, Vi noted sadly.
"That could have been better but at least we're all safe and sound," Ashe commented once they were finally behind those temporary walls of safety. But not for much longer. "Did we at least get what we wanted?"
"Oh, that should be sufficient!" Jinx grinned, pointing at the last bit of explosives they had managed to claim. "It's going to be a total blast, I'm telling you! Hey, what's up, Fat Hands? Why are you so grumpy?" she asked, upon taking notice of her sister.
"Leave me alone," she growled. Vi was in no mood to deal with Jinx at that moment.
"Let her be." Irelia placed a hand on Jinx's shoulder, making Vi's heart miss a beat. Irelia had been more of a sister to Jinx the past few years than she had been the last couple of weeks, which made her feel even worse about herself.
"Was it really necessary to blown up the store? I feel sort of guilty," Ekko admitted.
"I honestly have the very same question," Akali commented.
"If we hadn't, those Pulsefires would be able to follow us. We shouldn't have underestimated them," Leona admitted, rubbing her shoulder. .
"No shit. Caitlyn ruined my damn gauntlet!" Ezreal complained, looking at his broken weapon once again.
"Let me have a look at it," Ekko said. "Oh, shit." He cursed. "I believe it is beyond repair, man."
Ezreal sighed in frustration. "That would have never happened if Vi had been covering me like she should be doing."
Vi narrowed her eyes at him even though he couldn't quite see that. "Pardon me?"
"Now, now, let's not start pointing fingers-" Ashe interfered in an attempt to prevent the situation from escalating but it was too late.
"Fuck you." Vi hissed "I was supposed to cover you, not babysit you. If you could not handle yourself, maybe you should not have come in the first place. Or better yet, not mess with technology your not capable of handling!"
"If I could handle Caitlyn on my own, I would have asked for your help, you retard!" Ezreal shot back.
"Maybe if you hadn't been trying to play hero and save the future, as you so proudly proclaim every five minutes, and had left that to the TPA, we wouldn't even be here!"
"How dare you!-"
"Enough!" Ashe shouted over them. "That's enough already. Both of you stop this nonsense. Ezreal, stop blaming Vi. It is what it is. And Vi, for the love of the stars, please calm down."
"Don't tell me what the fuck to do, Ashe." Vi pointed a threatening finger at her. "I'm going to lose my job because of this ferret right here and what do I get for that? Him shitting on me! So do not tell me to "calm down". Enough is enough." She inhaled sharply. "Once this is over, I'm taking Jinx and we're getting the fuck out of Piltover."
"You don't get to decide for me!" Jinx complained with a pout.
"As a matter of fact, I do." Vi growled. "And if I ever meet you again-" She glared at Ezreal. "-I will not hesitate to crush your skull on spot."
She turned her back at all of them, leaning against the wall and breathing heavily. She hadn't been so angry in a really long time. Normally, she wouldn't be so pissed of at Ezreal but he had just chosen the worst time to create drama. Stars, everything sucked.
Ashe looked helplessly between Vi who had leaned against the wall and Ezreal who had turned his back at her. She sighed in frustration.
"Now that's not a good time to be fighting," she said. "You're grown people. Figure it out. Ekko, is there really nothing you can do about Ezreal's gauntlet?"
"I'm afraid not, Ashe."
"May I have a look at it?" Jinx suddenly offered.
Ezreal laughed awkwardly. "What do you know about these things?"
"More than you give me credit for." Jinx gave him a knowing smile as she approached him in confidence. Ezreal gazed back at her both curiously and somewhat intimidated. What was this lunatic going to do to him?
Jinx picked up his arm and examined the damaged gauntlet carefully. She hummed. "It's indeed in a really bad shape," she admitted. "But not a lost cause. I can make it work at 40% capacity in the best scenario."
"That's impossible," Ekko interjected.
"Yeah? Watch me," Jinx challenged him.
"Have faith. Jinx has managed to repair equipment we never thought it was about to be fixed," Irelia assured. "If it hadn't been for her, half of our systems wouldn't be working today."
"May I use your tools, Ekko?" Jinx asked with a smirk.
"Be my guest." Ekko shrugged indifferently. "But don't say I didn't warn you."
Ashe shook her head at their childish behavior but she was secretly smiling. Her gaze upon Vi who didn't seem to have even shifted positions. She must have had a really tough day, that was for sure. It was perhaps better to leave her on her own for now. She needed that space. Now that the drama had been temporary solved, she could focus on another crucial part of their plan.
"You guys do that while I'll go finish some other business," she announced, not expecting much of an answer really. She picked up her bow and checked on her arrows. Ashe was surprised to see that Fiora abandoned her spot next to Vayne in order to approach her.
"Wait," the dueler said.
"Is there something wrong, Fiora?" Ashe asked.
"I still don't think it's a good idea to go and find her," Fiora admitted. "It's extremely dangerous. She might kill you, you know. Look what she did to Yi!"
"I know that she's capable of. But she won't, I know it." Ashe placed a hand onto Fiora's shoulder. "Fiora, I need you this time to trust me."
"It's not like I don't trust you, Ashe. I don't trust her."
"I have to agree with Fiora." Leona appeared out of nowhere. "Let me at least accompany you."
"Thank you for the concern, I really do appreciate it," Ashe said honestly. "But it's something I have to do on my own."
Fiora and Leona realized their defeat and backed off. If Ashe decided on something, it was almost impossible to change her mind.
"In that case, good luck. You'll need it," said Fiora eventually.
"Thank you." Ashe nodded. Her heart swelled up at the sight of her companions. They had come a long way, especially with Fiora. Their relationship had been turbulent but they were able to figure it out. Fiora had definitely changed but in a good way and Ashe could pinpoint this change on only one person that she once despised so much. It was not like her and Vayne were in good terms but they had silently agreed to put aside their grudges for as long as this situation lasted. Plus, Fiora and Vayne had grown awfully close - the dueler refused to get into details, although Ashe was able to make a couple of assumptions - and the archer would hate to have her relationship with Fiora disturbed once again.
Putting those thoughts aside, Ashe left in order to come face to face with her past. It was very dangerous to be on the streets after they had raised the ammunition store but they were out of time. If she was to make amends with Katarina and persuade her to help them one last time, she had to take that risk.
Ashe dreaded that meeting. Katarina was the face of all her past mistakes. She wasn't sure if she was ready to face her. Truth be told, she doubted if she would ever truly be ready. But this was not about her. It was about saving whatever future they had. However, that didn't stop the so livid memories to return. Ashe did not recall initiating them but did nothing to stop the recordings from playing.
You don't have a goal! You don't know what you're doing!
The only thing you care about is leadership!
I regret helping you escape!
You aren't any better than them!
I should have never followed you!
I hope I never see you again!
"Stop it, Ashe," she scolded herself. She was not making this any easier. Facing one's past was more difficult than she expected. But if she wanted to confront her past, that was the only way of doing so.
To face Katarina.
She walked alone for a while, with only company her thoughts. Ashe was extra careful but she didn't meet a soul, except an occasional car that passed by. Every time it did, she hid in the shadows temporarily and waited until it was far away before she continued. With that pattern, it took her forty five minutes to get to the meeting spot; a bridge that connected the upper city with the lower. The bright yellow neon colors gave it another perspective as more roads snaked the way under the bridge. It was a fascinating sight for whoever was not afraid of heights. Katarina's figure looked like it was golden due to the lights, in contrast with her pink attire.
The assassin turned her head at the sound of the archer's footstep. Ashe didn't get too close. It saddened her that she could not trust her but that was the painful reality. For a moment, they didn't say anything. They just stared at each other, challenging each other to start first. They were both too stubborn for their own good. However, Ashe felt it was appropriate to go for it first. After all, she was the one to summon her in order to ask for a favor.
"Thank you for coming here," she spoke, carefully choosing her words. "I know you could get in a lot of trouble."
Katarina didn't respond immediately. "Just say what you want."
Always straight to the point. "Long story short, we want to destroy the last bit of PROJECT."
"Don't we all?" Katarina shot back. "Anything more realistic?"
"I'm serious." Ashe deadpanned. "We want to destroy PROJECT. And you already know why, don't you Katarina? You're clever, I'm pretty sure you've discovered what's going on."
"It's impossible," said Katarina.
"Not without your help-"
"And why should I help you in your little quest?" Katarina cut her off, her tone sharp. "Last time I helped you, that didn't work out very well."
Ashe sighed. "You're right," she admitted. "But this is different. The future is in danger."
"Do I look like a hero to you, Ashe?" Katarina huffed. "I'm an assassin, for crying out loud! I kill people, I don't save them. And besides, I have no reason to help you. You're wasting your time."
"Listen-"
"No, you listen." Katarina interrupted her. "If you thought that you could come here and beg me to help you with whatever scheme your preparing, that I would forgive you and just agree with it, then you're more of a fool that you let on, Ashe."
"I did not come here with hopes that you'd be willing to listen to me, Katarina," Ashe stated. "Or forgive me just like that, for that matter. I'm not foolish. I'm well aware that it won't matter how many times I apologize or how hard I try to persuade you that I have changed. I've wronged you, I manipulated you when all you did was help me out. I betrayed your trust. That is not something to be forgiven for."
»There is no space for personal arguments, however. The world's future is at stake. We can stay here all night arguing about what went wrong between us. But will it get us anywhere? Probably not. So, let's focus on what truly matters."
"What I truly matters is that I will not help you." Katarina hissed. "I've suffered enough because of you. You wasted your time coming here."
Ashe's heart ached. "Understandable." She nodded. "Although I must disagree."
"Disagree with what?"
"If you know what's going to happen, at least you can save yourself. I don't think that's a waste of time," Ashe explained.
Katarina was speechless. She had no more bitter remarks to send towards Ashe's direction. No matter. The case was over. There was nothing left for Ashe to do there. She turned on her tracks to leave when she suddenly came to a halt. Without turning to face her, she said to Katarina, "You don't fool anyone with that villain act, you know. You could have killed Yi when you were given the chance and instead you spared his life."
With those last words, Ashe took off without looking back. Because if she did, she'd probably break down and that was the last thing she wanted. The overwhelming feelings were going to dismantle her systems and she couldn't have that in the middle of the night. She left the bridge behind and continued on her way back.
"Wait!"
The voice ringed inside her ears. Ashe couldn't believe it. Slowly, she span around. Much to her surprise, Katarina had followed her up there. Before Ashe could ask what she wanted, she spoke first. Always one step ahead of her thoughts, as always.
"I will do it," Katarina declared. "But not because you asked me too. If you're right about one thing is that PROJECT needs to go down as soon as possible. So, don't thank me."
Ashe was confused but pleasantly surprised as well. "A-alright then," she stammered. "I'll send you the details once we're ready."
Katarina nodded. She said nothing else before disappearing as quickly as she had ran after to Ashe. The archer sighed. Somehow, she felt a weight lifting off her chest. The hard feelings were still there but at least Katarina could see sense. That was something.
"One day at a time," Ashe whispered to herself before walking away.
A couple of hours away and hours laters, the morning hours found the headquarters of TPA in a hustle. It was a matter of time before everyone learnt the news. Of course the details were mixed and there were already five different versions of the story but they all concluded to the same end; the once talented prodigious agent Pulsefire Caitlyn had messed big time once again and her getting fired was inevitable at this point. Others claimed this should have happened way earlier while they shook their heads. Others complained why the rest of the squad was still inside that building hiding inside their office. It was chaotic and it was only going to get worse.
"Why can't they mind their own damn business?" Riven groaned. "Is so hard?"
"I honestly don't blame them." Shen shrugged. "This is a big deal. They're going to be talking about this for months."
"This is Bellmoor all over again." Twisted Fate sighed as she leaned against the wall. "If we get any lucky, we'll be thrown back into desk duty again."
"But Caitlyn hates desk duty," Riven commented.
"I don't think Caitlyn will get any desk duty at this point, Riven," Shen said sadly. "This is her downfall."
Riven jumped off her chair, clearly upset. "They can't!" she cried out. "She has made the most arrests in the history of the Timeline Protection Agency! She's the best Pulsefire out there!"
Shen shook his head. "Not anymore…"
"But it wasn't her fault! That was all Vi!"
The moment those words escaped her lips, she realized the importance of it. Vi had betrayed them. The wound was still fresh. But what made Riven's heart break into pieces was Caitlyn's break down. She had always known there was something more between the sniper and the PROJECT and she had always teased her friend about it but Riven would have never imagined it would come to this.
Shen approached her. "We had warned her but she refused to listen, Riven." He placed a hand on her shoulder. "We always knew there was something off about it."
"So what?" Riven said angrily. "It still-"
"Why do you insist on defending her so much?" Twisted Fate interrupted her. "Do I need to remind you how she always looked down on you? How she treated you like shit at the beginning? And then she tolerated all of us because she had no other choice?" He sounded bitter and he had every right to be. But Riven had none of that.
"She's changed, Tobias!" she shouted.
"You're right, Riven. She's changed. And she's never going to be the same as she was," Shen stated sadly. And unfortunately, he was right. That night, something inside Caitlyn had broken that could never be reforged.
"You should be more worried about your career," Twisted Fate advised. "I bet my beard she's up there shitting on us in order to save her own ass, just like she did last time."
"Then you don't know her at all," Riven snapped and she stormed towards the far end of their office. She didn't want to see Twisted Fate's face because there was a high chance she'd punch him. She dropped herself onto a chair and sighed. Everything was a mess. Would life ever give her a break?
She had accused Tobias that he didn't know Caitlyn but who did she think she was to make such a claim that she knew the sniper better? She foolishly thought she knew Vi. And the same went for Irelia. But that night they came face to face and Riven would never forget the feeling of betrayal that had filled every inch of her body when she realized Irelia was trying to defend Ezreal. At the same time, she felt like she had no reason to feel betrayed. Irelia had never claimed she wasn't involved with this situation and it was only a matter of time before they teamed up with the rest of the PROJECTS. Riven should have realized when she disappeared completely from her life. But did she expect anyway? Irelia was a fugitive and she was supposed to arrest her. She should have any expectations from the blade master. Then why did this bug her so much?
Nothing made sense anymore.
She felt a presence coming next to her. It was no other than Shen. Always her rock during the hard times. But he had looked very troubled during that battle as well, especially while fighting that Akali. He had his own share of troubles.
"Are you alright?" he asked gently.
"As alright as I can be." Riven asked.
"You look troubled. Is it about Caitlyn?"
"Not quite." Riven frowned. "I mean, I'm still upset about it but that's not the only thing that has been bothering me."
"What is it then?"
Riven tried to explain as best she could the situation with Irelia. Shen had always been a good listener and never misunderstood her nor judged her.
"I just don't know. I mean, I don't think I should be feeling like that but I do and my overthinking keeps telling me it's unfair." Riven made a grimace. "Everything is so complicated." She groaned.
"Riven, your feelings are always valid," Shen assured her. "You have every right to feel this way about Irelia."
"It's just feels like she's drifting away, you know? Like I'm losing whatever chance I got to finally make amends with my past." She admitted.
"I believe it's more than that, Riven," said Shen with a knowing smile, making the woman blush. "Although, I'm of the opinion that you're looking at the whole redemption thing the wrong way."
Riven furrowed her brows. "What do you mean?"
"You aren't really after Irelia's forgiveness. There's another reason why you're upset with her."
"I don't know what you're talking about," Riven mumbled, making Shen rolled his eyes.
"I believe that you need to forgive yourself first for what happened that night in Zaun," he continued.
"Forgive… myself?" she repeated.
Shen nodded. "Yes. I don't think that Irelia's forgiveness will make you any good without forgiving yourself first."
"I don't know, Shen. Forgiving myself it's not an easy task."
"I didn't say it is. But it's worth a shot. It can bring you peace of mind."
"And you're talking from experience?" Riven inquired.
"One can only dream." Shen smiled sadly. "As you said, forgiving one's self is a really long and hard process."
Riven examined him carefully. He had been hiding something too for quite some time and it was outrageous how Shen believed he could fool her like that. "You have your own secrets, don't you Shen? Don't you think I didn't notice how you refused to give that PROJECT: Akali a hard time. You don't have to." She interrupted him when she noticed that he was able to say something. "Not unless you're ready. Just wanted to let you know that I'm here for you, no matter what happens."
Shen nodded. "Thank you," he said in appreciation.
Riven understood how it felt like carrying the weight of your past mistakes on your back. It was a weight that one cannot easily get rid off. It takes time. Time. What a complicated term. It may give you the greatest gifts or the greatest punishments. Rebirth or decay and eventually death. Riven knew that all too well. Only time could reveal the consequences of our actions, weather we're ready to pay for them or not.
And that night, Caitlyn had paid the ultimate price, Riven noted silently. Perhaps that was the last time they would ever see her, she thought with a tight heart. At least, Riven hoped that the sniper would give them a chance to give her a proper farewell, although she kept her expectations low. After all that what happened, she couldn't predict how Caitlyn would act.
Nothing was the same anymore, not even themselves.
A/N: Riven is baby and deserves all the hugs in the world. Also her friendship with Shen is to die for.
More chapters hopefully coming soon. Stay safe!
