Emily raised a shaking hand and touched the gouged wood of her desk.

"We shouldn't stay too long," Steve said as he reappeared at the door with a fistful of paper towels. She jumped, making him grimace. "Sorry."

"It's fine," she replied, feeling anything but as she looked over her wrecked office. Carter had told her what happened, and Tony had even pulled up the report for her, but seeing the destruction of her home away from home…

Em was glad that the police had taken the knife stabbed through her book and their picture.

Steve set the paper towels down on the corner of the desk and bent to grab the police caution tape on the floor. "Grab what you need and I'll clean up a bit."

The university had agreed to let her convert her two undergraduate courses to online classes while her graduate seminar would be covered by another faculty member. The plan not only kept her off campus, therefore ensuring the university's security, but it allowed her to avoid going on leave without pay as she didn't qualify for a sabbatical yet.

At least, that was the plan as long as Human Resources didn't decide to cancel her contract because of "ethical violations".

"Sweetheart?" Emily's shoulders fell and her face crumpled as she walked around the desk to rest her head on Steve's chest. His arms wrapped around her tightly before pressing a kiss into her hair.

"I thought he was my friend."

NYPD Detective Michaelson had contacted her to set up a meeting that morning. Safely tucked away in a conference room, he informed them that they had arrested Dr. Ryan Dietrich for burglary, vandalism, unlawful surveillance for the camera in her office, and suspicion of terrorism. During his interrogation, he'd admitted to being a member of Hydra tasked with keeping an eye on Captain America's girlfriend in case they needed to coerce him.

The detective had warned them that the press would likely catch wind of the charges soon from an internal leak or when Ryan was brought before the judge.

"I know," Steve said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen." They were silent for a long time until he pulled away just enough to meet her - thankfully tear free - eyes. A sad smile tugged at the corner of his mouth as he moved a strand of hair from her face. "I love you."

"Je t'aime aussi, mon coeur." Em stepped out of his embrace and shook her head. "Watch out for the glass."

They worked quickly, Emily setting up the hard drive copier that Tony had given her while Steve gathered up the papers flung to the floor and righted her chairs. As the program ran, she started to pick up her books, setting aside those she might need while he moved on to carefully collecting the shards of glass and cleaning up the fingerprint powder.

Just under an hour later, Steve lifted the box of books and followed Em to the mailboxes where she returned her students' work before taking his hand and leading him to the elevator.

The night air was cold, and the campus almost deserted at the late hour as they hurried to her car. He slid behind the wheel and turned to look at her. "You sure about this?"

"Let's get out of here," she nodded.

OOO

Steve's footsteps were silent as he descended the stairs, shield strapped to his arm. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust to the dark but he completed the sweep without incident and walked back up, resting the shield against the table before making his way to the door.

The car was still on, the tail lights bright in the early morning darkness. He flicked on the porch light and the engine cut off a moment before the driver's side door opened. Emily stepped out, pausing to stretch before giving him a tired smirk. "Clear?"

"Doesn't look like anyone's been here for a while," he replied, motioning for her to pop the trunk.

"Probably not. Mom and Dad don't really come up after August unless it's to winterize the place, and there hasn't been enough snow for Tuck and Lauren to bring the kids up for snowmobiling."

He would have preferred to be somewhere off the map with no link to them, but Emily had wanted to come up to her family's lake house in Maine. Carter had tried to talk her out of it - pointed out that he had mentioned the lake house numerous times in his own reports to SHIELD - but she put her foot down. Steve, seeing this, hadn't bothered trying. After everything they'd been through, Em wanted the comfort and familiarity of home while trying to figure out their new normal, and he couldn't blame her.

That hadn't stopped him from taking the small armory that Carter offered when it became apparent that he wouldn't be joining them on their northern escape.

Steve followed a shivering Emily back into the house and set their bags down in the living room while she went to turn up the heat. On the third trip, he found her pulling the sheets that covered the couches off, sneezing as she did so. He laughed and grabbed the other end to help her fold it when she sneezed again.

"There's not a lot of food," she said, tossing the dust cover onto the coffee table. "I'll need to make a run into town if we want to eat."

"I'm good for now," he shrugged. "Could use a shower and some sleep first."

"It'll take a bit for the hot water heater to get back up and running."

"Sleep it is." Em chuckled and tangled her fingers with his, gently pulling him towards the hallway. But he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw what room she was headed towards.

"What?"

"We're not sleeping in your parents' room." She frowned.

"It's not my parents' room, it's the master suite."

"Where your parents stay."

"They're not here."

"We're not having sex in your parents' room." That startled a laugh out of her, and Em shook her head.

"Is the master bath off limits too? Cause there's a really nice bathtub in there, and the shower is a lot better. Or is it the whole house, so there'll be no sex at - "

Steve cut her off with a rough kiss, his hands sliding from her waist down to her ass, and then he crouched to wrap his hands around her thighs to lift her off her feet. Em wrapped her legs around him and, as his hands slid to cup her ass and span her lower back, shrugged off her jacket before tugging off her shirt.

His tongue delved into her mouth as he walked down the hallway until he pushed open the door to the third bedroom. He kept moving until he felt his knees hit the bed. "There's definitely going to be sex," Steve smirked as he pulled back.

Emily gasped as he loosened his grip and she fell to the bed. And then promptly sneezed as she bounced on the dust cover protected mattress.

OOO

"Steve?"

"Mmph." Em bit her lip to keep from laughing. She lightly traced his jawline before leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"I'm going to run to the store, sleepy head." Steve took a deep breath and forced an eye open before lifting his head off the pillow.

"Gimme a minute and I'll - "

"I'm going to go alone," she said, and then raised an eyebrow when he opened his mouth to protest. "If we're going to be laying low here, the last thing we need is for people to start thinking they're seeing the guy from the news in the produce aisle."

"What if someone recognizes you?"

"The only people who are going to recognize me are my family members, who wouldn't say anything to anyone."

"Hydra - "

"Steve, please. I… I need you to trust me."

"I do trust you, it's everyone else - "

"I can't be afraid of everyone else or everything, mon coeur," Em sighed. "I can't. And I won't be terrified to step out of the house because of a what if."

"It's not a what if, Sweetheart. It's a when - they already came after you once and - "

"Steve."

"Emily - "

"Steve." He let out a long sigh before running a hand down his face.

"I don't like this."

"I know you don't, which is why I'm not going to be annoyed when you text or call me every few minutes to make sure that I'm okay."

He was quiet for a moment before sitting up and pushing back the covers. With a sigh, Em sat on the bed and rolled her eyes, prepared to continue arguing while he looked for clothes. Which was why she was surprised when he pulled a taser out of the bag he was rummaging through. "You know how to use one of these?" he asked.

"Where did you get that?"

"Do you know how to use it?"

"Point and shoot, yeah."

"This will give you enough of a lead time to get away from them and call me." Steve set the taser on the bed and wrapped a hand around the back of Em's neck, pulling her closer. "You get a bad feeling about anything, you call me. Promise?"

"I promise."

"Okay. I'm going to take you up on checking in on you."

"I know you will. But I also authorized you to look at my GPS on your phone so you can use that too." Steve still looked anxious, so she stood on her toes and kissed him before running her thumb over his stubble covered jaw. "Do you want me to pick you up some razors?"

"I think I'm gonna grow it out...might help with blending in a bit. I've never had a beard before."

"Hmmm…" Em said, leaning back to study him. "I'm not opposed to a bit of beard burn in the name of a better disguise."

OOO

"Shall I tell you about the treacherous battle I fought getting onto the chip aisle?" Emily sighed as she picked up the phone.

"Is it as good as your one about the bread?" Steve asked.

"Not quite. Not as much action, more of a mental debate between salt and vinegar or sour cream and onion. Thoughts?"

"Barbecue?"

"Well, now I have to go back and wade through the early morning crowd to get you your chips. Do you think I'll be judged harshly at check out for having three different kinds?" He laughed, making Em smile. "Have you thought of anything else you need?"

"Other than you here? No."

"I'm almost done."

"Okay. Talk to you in a few."

"Talk to you in a bit." When the line disconnected, Emily slid the phone into her back pocket and turned the cart around to head back up the aisle. She had to suppress a groan when she felt the phone vibrate again. "I swear to…" she muttered, but stopped when she saw the text.

EMILY, your Rx is READY FOR PICK UP

Frowning, she tried to remember what prescription she had filled before her mouth fell open. "Fuck," she breathed before pinching the bridge of her nose. After taking a deep breath, she pulled up a search engine and looked for the number for the pharmacy to ask them to transfer the prescription to a local store.

Steve called while she was on the line and she sent a quick text back saying she had a stop to make after checking out.

As her eclectic order of groceries was bagged, Em realized she needed to pick up a few more things.

OOO

Steve was on the front porch leaning against the banister when Em pulled the car up to the house. She gripped the wheel and took a deep breath before turning off the engine, and pasted on a tight smile when he opened the door for her. "The long lost wanderer has returned," she teased, reaching for the lever to pop the trunk.

"Good, 'cause I'm starving."

"I got some stuff for sandwiches, so that'll tide you over until dinner. And after we have lunch, I...uh… I want to talk to you about something."

"What's wrong?" Steve demanded. "What happened?"

"Nothing! Nothing happened, nothing's wrong. We just… we need to have a discussion." His eyes darted across her face as he gave her a confused look.

"Nothing's wrong?"

"No, love. Nothing. Except the cold food is getting warm and I really want one of the whoopie pies I impulse bought."

"Whoopie pies, huh?" he asked, giving her a tentative smile.

"And cream horns. And definitely the sour pickle."

"If I didn't know those were real, I'd think you were making some blue jokes, Dr. Harthorn."

"You never know, Captain Rogers," Emily teased before gently pushing him towards the back of the car. Once he was out of sight, she ducked back in and shoved a plastic bag into her purse.

She could tell that Steve was anxious as they moved around the kitchen, cutting up veggies and assembling their sandwiches. With a bag of chips tucked under her arm, Em led the way out onto the balcony where he'd put out the patio furniture. They didn't talk about much of anything as they ate, making passing comments on the weather, how pretty the foliage was, and the yard work that needed to be done before it turned too cold.

When he finished his third sandwich, Steve wiped his mouth and tossed the napkin onto his empty plate before sitting back in his chair. She could feel his eyes boring into her as she looked out over the lake, chewing her lower lip. "Sweetheart?"

Emily took a deep breath and let it out slowly before turning and folding her arms on the table. She stared at her claddagh ring before forcing herself to meet his gaze. "Do you remember a conversation we were having before...before everything happened? Before I...disappeared, before Arlington… before you tried to propose?"

Steve frowned, trying to think back over the last two weeks. God, had it only been two weeks since he'd tried to propose?

Emily could see the moment it hit him. His eyebrows shot up and his mouth fell slightly open as he reached for her. "Emily, are you…"

"No, mon coeur. I'm not pregnant. Or at least I'm 95% sure I'm not. I bought a test to make sure since we haven't exactly been careful. I just...I wanted to talk to you because I got a notification that I needed to pick up my birth control, and the last conversation we had about it we were talking about me...maybe not going back on it."

"Sweetheart…" Steve said, his eyes falling to the table.

"But I think...right now life's a little too complicated to even think about the possibility of a baby." He sat back in his chair again and crossed his arms over his chest, eyebrows furrowed. After a long moment, his eyes rose to meet hers.

"Is this what you want?"

"No. I mean, yes," Em said before leaning down to rest her forehead on her arms. She closed her eyes when they started to burn with tears and took a deep breath. "I want a baby, Steve. I want a little us. But I don't want that without you. And I'm not going to have you, not the way I - we - would need you, until after this all gets figured out and you find him."

Steve was silent for a long time as Emily focused on her breathing. She didn't want to cry because this was the rational choice. Almost all of her criteria for being ready to have a kid was now out the window - she wasn't sure if she had a stable job anymore. She didn't have a partner who would be there to co-parent with her because he would be off on a constant mission to find his best friend. They weren't married.

"I want a baby." She sat up quickly, her eyes wide as they met his. "Emily, Sweetheart, I want one. But I want to be there for all of it, and I can't promise that right now." The bottom of her stomach dropped out as she pasted on a smile.

"Decision made. I-I won't be able to start the pills until after my cycle restarts...which with everything, I don't really know when that is... so we'll have to use condoms until then. I picked some up j-just in case." She stood and grabbed their empty plates before darting into the house. Steve came inside as she was finishing cleaning the kitchen, and walked up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her against his chest. His hand spanned her stomach as he kissed her neck.

"I'm so tired of putting off what I… what I really want because…"

"The timing is wrong." Em put her hand over his and bit her lower lip when it trembled. She felt his breath ruffle her hair when he leaned down to press his temple to hers as he started to sway.

His hand shifted to grasp hers and he gently tugged, lifting his arm to spin her away before drawing her back in so they faced one another. Emily laughed as his left hand settled on her waist and she rested her head on his chest. Steve held her tightly as they swayed.

"We'll have two, maybe three kids," he whispered into her hair.

"Two. Don't want to be outnumbered."

"Two," he chuckled. "A boy and a girl. What are we gonna name them?"

"Do you want a Junior?"

"Nah. What about Matthew, for your dad?"

"Joseph for yours?" They were quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat.

"What about Patrick?"

"Good strong Irish name. What about his middle name?"

"Abraham." Emily looked up at him and he smiled before brushing his lips against her knuckles. "Only seems right to honor the man who brought us together."

"Patrick Abraham Rogers. And our daughter will be named Charlotte."

"Charlotte, huh? I was thinking Norma."

"Not on your life. Charlotte Sarah?"

"Charlotte Norma." Emily threw back her head and laughed.

"We are not naming our daughter Charlotte Norma. What about Charlotte Mae?"

"Hmm… I like that. Lottie Mae and Patrick Abraham," Steve sighed, pulling her close so his cheek was pressed to her forehead. "What are they like?"

"Oh," she shrugged. "Lottie is a daddy's girl who has you wrapped around her little fingers."

"Of course."

"And Patrick loves playing baseball with you."

"When he's not reading with you. He wants to be… a newsman."

"And she wants to be an astronaut."

"An astronaut?" Steve chuckled before pressing a kiss to her forehead. "And they'll love coming up here and playing with their cousins."

"Every summer when school is out, and winter breaks so we can have a real white Christmas."

"With snowball fights and fluffer nutter sandwiches while we sit by the fire."

"And they'll be embarrassed by their parents dancing in the kitchen." She felt Steve chuckle.

"And they both look like their beautiful mother." When Emily looked up at him, tears glistening in her eyes, he gave her a watery smile. "We'll have that, Sweetheart. I promise you. We'll have the kids, and the home. And you'll become a famous historian and I… I'll hang up the shield and leave saving the world to someone else. Maybe draw cartoons."

"One day?"

"One day."

"But not now. For now… I have to share you with everyone else and you have to be a hero."

"Just for now." Emily nodded and stood on her toes to kiss him, and he held her tightly against him.

Later, as they lay curled up in bed, Steve whispered his plans for their future into her ear as Emily drifted off to sleep.


Author's Note: So this chapter took an angsty turn I didn't expect until I was writing out the timeline to confirm some stuff. Definitely had another... fun... conversation lined up but I guess that's bumped to the next chapter. This chapter was pretty much written in one night thanks to clarifying the timeline and being laid up on the couch sick after a minor surgery.

As always, thank you for reading and please let me know what you think!