Book 7 ch 3

There where watches that ticket but whose hands stayed still, as countless tea cups and kettles where strewed all across the table.

A very merry unbirthday to me

To who?

To me

Oh you!

A very merry unbirthday to you

Who me?

Yes, you!

Oh, me!

Let's all congratulate us with another cup of tea
A very merry unbirthday to you!

Goblin Slayer heard the Marsh Hare, The Mad Hatter and what appeared to be a Mouse dressed who was sleepy and dressed in a suit say, sing a song as they kept drinking and refiling their cups.

At one point they noticed Goblin Slayer's presence.

"No room!"

"No room!

They both shouted and jumped towards Goblin Slayer.

"I see. Goodbye then." Said the Goblin Slayer, who turned to leave, but was stopped by the two of them who moved to stand in front of him and prevented his exit.

"Now now, don't be hasty. There may not be any room, but I am sure we can accommodate you, if you join us for a cup of tea." Said the March Hare.

"Yeah, join our little private shindig." Said the Mad Hatter

"But if there's no room, then how can I sit? And if this is a private party, then how can someone who wasn't invited join the party?" Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Oh that's a toughfy! Well I can't answer that question, how about you fellas?" Asked the Marsh Hare.

"Friend, why you'd have to be mad as a hatter to know that. Thankfully, I am. And do you know what the answer to those questions are?" Said the Mad Hatter.

"What?" Said the Marsh Hare.

"Why more tea of course! Yes, have some more tea mister?" Asked the Mad Hatter.

"Goblin Slayer and I haven't had any tea yet. How can I have more tea?" Asked the Goblin Slayer.

"Cause it's considered rude for a host to not ask a guest not to have more tea, even if none was drunk yet." Said the Doorknob.

"I see, then I will have more tea." Goblin Slayer said and The Hatter presented him with a cup.

"Thank you." Said the Goblin Slayer and reached for it.

"Say, what brings you to our neck of the woods?" Said the Mad Hatter as he then moved the cup away from Goblin Slayer.

"I am looking for my sister, have you seen a girl that keeps saying 'she's late'?" Asked the Goblin Slayer.

"I'm not sure. Why don't we have another cup of tea and see if I can remember." Said the Marsh Hare and this time he presented a cup.

"Clean cup, clean cup! I want a clean cup!" Said the Mad Hatter and then once more the did not give Goblin Slayer tea and moved him along with themselves to another set of seats at the table.

"Would you like more tea?" Said the Mad Hatter.

"Yes, but before I do, answer my question. "Said the Goblin Slayer, now realizing how to use this tea business to his advantage.

"First have more tea!" Said the Marsh Hare.

"I will after you answer my question." Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Questions! Questions, that's a good idea. Here's my question, why is a raven like a writing desk?" Said the Mad Hatter.

"Because you said he is." Answered the Goblin Slayer, he now could fully grasp the mad thinking of his peculiar party hosts.

"Correct! Congratulations my boy! Let's celebrate with another cup of tea." Said the Marsh Hare.

"If you're not gonna tell me then I'm wasting time here." Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Time? You can't waste time here, since you see time here has stopped at tea time!" Said the Mad Hatter.

"Why is that?" Asked the Goblin Slayer.

"Well you see Time and I where such very good friends, but just now me and Time had a horrible fight. And so Time stopped the seconds, making Tea Time here, all the time!" Said the Mad Hatter.

"Then go an make up with him." Said the Goblin Slayer.

This made the usual mad antics of the Hatter and Hare stop as they turned their gaze to their guest.

"Just go an make up with Time?" Said the Mad Hatter.

"Why that's crazy, that's mad, that's beyond imagination!" Said the Marsh Hare.

"Yes, it's just crazy enough to work. Thank you my boy! Is there anything I can do to repay you, perhaps more tea?" Said the Mad Hatter.

"You can tell me a way to my sister." Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Way to your sister? There is no way, for all ways are the Queen's way. If you want a way there you have to talk to her." Said the Marsh Hare.

"And how do I find the Queen?"

"Gee, that's a good question, why don't we have more tea and think about it?" Said the Mad Hatter, and extended another cup of tea from Goblin Slayer.

To which Goblin Slayer extended his hand, bypassed the cup, grabbed the kettle and drank the tea until the kettle was empty.

He then got up, and moved to every single kettle, grabbed them, tipped them and drank every drop of tea at the party. Before walking away, leaving behind a stunned Marsh Hare and Hater.

"What a strange fellow!" Said the Marsh Hare.

"That boy is mad I tell you!" Said the Mad Hetter.

"Madder than a Hatter." Said the Doormouse sleepily.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

"How do I find the Queen?" Said the Goblin Slayer.

"You don't find the Queen, she finds you. You'll never find her no matter how hard you look for her." Said the Doorknob.

At that Goblin Slayer stopped walking, realization had struck him as he now realized the clues that all the events of this strange place indicated.

"The more you try to run towards something the further away it gets. The closer I come to an object the smaller I become, and I am asked to have more tea even though I never had any before. Everything is backwards like…."

Said the Goblin Slayer as he remembered falling into that lake of blood, whose surface he could see…his own reflection.

"A mirror this is a realm that is beyond the mirror! That means that if trying to find something I'll never find it. Then if I try to avoid it I'll run right into it!" Said the Goblin Slayer as he closed his eyes and did the one thing that he never thought he'd ever do.

He tried to forget and move past that horrible night, to let go of his sister, to let go of the past.

It was the most painful thing he ever did. Goblin Slayer felt his very soul die, every old battle wound, every pain and torture of his long struggle seem to come back at that moment.

Every nightmare, every fear, every horror he seemed to relive as he did the one thing that even he never thought he could do.

He let go of the past.

"Looks like you finally realize it little brother." A voice pierced the darkness and Goblin Slayer opened his eyes and saw that his sister had appeared in front of him.

"So this is all some lesson?" Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Everything is. And now it's time for the final chapter of it. Come on little brother we're late as it is." Said his sister.

"Where is it? "Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Why in the building where it's held of course!" Replied his sister did.

"And how do we get there?" Said the Goblin Slayer.

"Through a door of course!" Said his sister with a giggle.

"A door? A door!" Said the Goblin Slayer as he realized that it was tied to his belt.

Untying the Doorknob and the door he was still attached to and he threw the longest distance he could. Taking advantage of the rules of this place, Goblin Slayer and his sister then approached the door and as they walked they both became small enough to fit trough.

"I see you are ready to cross the threshold, sorry for not telling you old boy, but any lesson worth learning is never easy. This warms my heart that you are ready now, but what am I saying, bothering you with my sentimentality, why you're already late as it is!" The Doorknob said and then voluntarily unlocked itself and let Goblin Slayer and his sister pass through.

Once inside Goblin Slayer saw that he was inside a temple, and the rows where packed with mourners, some he didn't recognize, others where very familiar to him, but at the same time they were different.

Rather he recognized the faces of his friends but he noticed that some details where different.

And he was confused since there was multiple sets of his friends.

Multiple numbers of the same individual but with small differences between each of them.

There were 12 Half Elf Mages, 11 Human Monks 10Fighters, 9 Warriors, 8 Noble Fighters, 7 Wizards, Six Dwarf Shaman, 5 Lizard Priests, 3 High Elf Archers, 2 Guild Girls, and one Priestess who was conducting the ceremony!

"What is this? Whose funeral is this?" Goblin Slayer said.

Why don't you go and see for yourself, the voice said towards the Goblin Slayer, who looked towards the bodiless voice and then to his sister who gave an nod of the head, before he left to take a seat with the rest of the mourners.

Goblin Slayer let his sister go, which was still the hardest thing he ever did and walked towards the coffin that was on the altar.

Peering inside he saw that in the coffin was himself.

Goblin Slayer saw how his own body was inside the coffin.

"What's going here?" Goblin Slayer asked in confusion.

"Would anyone like to say a few words for our friend here?" Priestess asked from the altar box.

"I would." A voice that Goblin Slayer didn't recognize said and a face that he also didn't recognize stood up from the crowd and walked towards the speaker box.

"Heya fellas. Name's Arthur Morgan, you all probably know me as Gunslinger. And here's my story of me and my partner over there." The man said as Goblin Slayer look on in confusion.

He didn't know what was going on. That was all he could do, this turn of events was so confusing that he couldn't even think of what was going to happen next.

Could you?

Asked the voice towards the reader that was now finishing reading the sentence.