In which Lily considers a world in which she's alone, has a surprising chat with Kanto's cattiest villain, and finds herself in this world's answer to Jurassic Park.
Last time, Magickarp evolved into Gyrados and our heroes were swallowed up in the deadly power of its Dragon Rage.
Talk about twists of fate! Round and round they go, where they'll stop, even I don't know!
The first thing she felt was the heat. It wasn't like the heat of a fire but instead the heat of the sun, stronger and brighter than anything in England ever was. It felt like a warm blanket stretched out over her back, burning through her torn clothing, and clinging to her pale skin.
As she opened her bleary eyes, spitting out sand and salt, she noted that if she hadn't been a god she probably would have had one hell of a sunburn by now.
With a groan she sat up and tried to put everything she was seeing and feeling together.
Her head still ached something awful, probably due not only to her recent concussion but also the fact that she hadn't eaten anything since that buffet on the St. Anne's. Her mouth was unbearably dry and had the rank aftertaste that came with too much salt. She'd lost her shoes, her clothes while dry were stiff with brine, and her hair felt like twine.
As for her surroundings, looking out, all she could see was an endless expanse of sea, the white sand she was sitting on, and behind her a dense jungle that started just where the shore ended. To her left, to her right, there was no sign of anyone or anything.
Just like how she'd entered this world, Lily woke up groggy and alone, except this time Wizard Lenin wasn't there beside her.
She wobbled to her feet, took a step towards the ocean, and then stopped.
"Lenin?" she called out, coughing on her dry throat, but no one answered.
What had happened to everyone? There had been the sea dragons, she remembered that much, then the cyclone and… Were they still out there? Had everyone, Wizard Lenin, Pikachu, Dragonite, Clefairy, Ash and all the others drowned out there?
Desperately Lily looked down towards her belt, then stopped. Charmander's pokéball, the thing she'd shoved him into in order to save his life, was gone. For all she knew it could be floating on the waves or else sinking to the bottom of the sea right about now.
And Lily was still alone on the beach.
"Stop it," Lily reprimanded herself, "They're not dead."
And even if they were dead, or close to it, death meant nothing to Lily. Sure, she'd never resurrected anyone besides herself before, but it couldn't be that hard. There was no reason to panic, she'd find them, she could feel it.
They were on land, on this island, with her. Every last one of them, she just had to go look for them.
Except, suddenly, the sound of the waves was deafening.
"Huh," Lily said to herself, "This is… so strange."
She'd been alone before. She'd even felt this alone before. When she'd first gotten Wizard Lenin out of her head, she'd felt like this. He'd always been there, even when she hadn't known it, and suddenly it'd just been her inside her head out there in the big bad world.
Except, she'd always known where he was. Now she was just standing by herself on the beach, without any clue where he was except that he was somewhere, and she felt… strange.
Restless, maybe that was the word for it. Even though everything ached and tasted like salt she felt like she had to move somewhere, had to go somewhere, do something. Except, she didn't think teleporting was a good idea yet, not until she had decent sleep and something to eat that wasn't sea water.
So, she should walk… somewhere.
Lily once again looked to her left and to her right. No sign of anybody in either direction. Looking ahead at the jungle she felt like she was waiting for him to angrily pop out of the bushes, hacking at them with a machete, asking where the hell she'd been and why she hadn't just cut off the dragons' heads.
He didn't though.
She swept the beach again, and this time, she spotted something.
There, sunbathing on a rock a few meters away, was a large pink lizard dog thing. Lily blinked, took it in again, but there was really no other way to describe it. It wasn't that it had scales, she didn't think it had any, instead its Pepto-Bismol pink skin seemed smooth like a dolphin's. However, it was shaped like a lizard, with four stubby legs, a long pink tale capped in white, but with a dog or else a bear's white muzzle and small curled ears.
Regardless, whatever it was, it was certainly a pokémon, which meant that it might know something useful.
Lily hurried over to it, hissing as she stepped on various rocks hidden in the sand, until she was standing in front of it. It looked at her with large, glassy, dark eyes.
"Hello there," Lily said with a grin, "I'm afraid I'm a bit lost, washed up on shore after enraging sea dragons."
It said nothing, did nothing, didn't even blink.
"You wouldn't have happened to see any others washed up here? There's probably a really tall, blonde, good looking one. Then a Pikachu, Clefairy, Bulbasaur, and one of them's probably holding a pokéball. Oh, and then there's a red-headed girl who sort of looks like me, this one kid in a hat, this very tan guy who never opens his eyes, and this one very grumpy looking kid with white hair and a penchant for lighting everything on fire."
The creature still didn't say anything.
Lily was starting to get the feeling she was talking to Rabbit.
"You… aren't dead, are you?" Lily asked slowly, it looked like it was breathing, its mouth was open and there was a stupid grin on its face, but it just kept sitting there.
She reached out to poke it experimentally but before she could it stood. She darted back, watching as it let out a loud groan, "Slowpoke" then shuffled leisurely back until it dipped its tail in the sea. Then, with a contented sigh, it resumed its open-mouthed sunbathing.
Lily had the feeling that this thing, whatever it was, was a few lightbulbs short of a chandelier.
"I'm just going to go," Lily said slowly, "Enjoy the rest of your day."
As she thought, it said nothing to that either.
Right, well, beach or jungle.
If Lily was Wizard Lenin then she both a) would hate the beach with a fiery passion and b) would suspect if there were any people on this island they'd be further inland and closer to the sources of fresh water.
Jungle it was.
Wincing as she stepped on hot sand, Lily made her way over to the grass, and then into the thick underbrush as she went to look for anyone at all.
The midday sun stretched across the sky and then sank beyond the horizon. As the jungle became thicker it also became darker, no hint of any sky overhead, and so Lily was left to produce her own light in the palm of her hand.
And while the grass was cooler on her feet there was no shortage of roots, pointy rocks, or thorny vines to step on. Luckily, while it was unpleasant, Lily was also able to prevent any damage by magically protecting her feet. It wasn't much, but it did make her wonder if it was alright to risk teleportation yet. Probably not, she still felt like shit, but at least she could stop her feet from getting cut up.
"Lenin!" she called out, "Pikachu! Dragonite! Clefairy!"
She alternated names every few seconds, waiting for a response, but nothing came. In fact, there wasn't any noise out here. It wasn't like the mountains just outside of Viridian City, there weren't any pokémon scurrying about in the jungle. On the beach, sure, there'd been a few but in here it was just silence.
For such a dense jungle that felt… Well, it wasn't right, something was very wrong here.
Maybe she was still dreaming. All of this, ever since the St. Anne's when she'd hit her head, had felt so very surreal. Her legs were aching and numb, and it felt like she was just stumbling forward with repeating scenery moving past, going nowhere. That could be the real reason she'd had issues teleporting; reality was slipping through her fingers.
"Len—" Lily cut herself off as she made her way into a clearing.
Her first sign of any living, familiar face, and it was the three faces she least expected and least wanted. Like the cockroach infestation you could never get rid of, there was Team Rocket, or rather a sample of Team Rocket.
The giant talking cat, the giant floating ball of poisonous gas, and the purple backwards talking snake were gathered in a small triangle and had clearly been deep in conversation until Lily showed up.
Lily stared at the three of them, the three of them stared back, and in that time, nobody said a single word. Slowly, Lily removed her hand from the bushes that had been blocking her way and made to step back as if she'd never seen them.
"Hold it right there!" the cat called out in its strangely New York accent.
The cat stepped forward, claws extended, golden medallion crowning its head gleaning as it stalked forward with the carnivorous delight that can only belong to a cat, "What have we here? If it isn't the little pokémon that cried human."
"Team Rocket blasts off at the speed of light," he chanted with glee, "Surrender now or prepare to fight! Meowth, that's right!"
Lily could only stare numbly at him, losing any and all sense of urgency as they all took in what he just said. Lily couldn't help but ask, "Are you required to say that every time you see somebody?"
He blanched, took a step back, and grimaced, "I guess the Team Rocket motto's starting to lose its impact!"
Lily wondered if she should point out that it had never had any impact. Well, that wasn't quite true, it had made Lily realize just what a strange world she and Wizard Lenin had stumbled into. There was nothing like choregraphed rhyming to make you realize it was a brave new world.
"Never mind," the cat said, and then pointing dramatically at Lily he ordered, "Okay guys, go get her!"
Lily glanced over his shoulder at the giant floating ball and the giant snake. Neither moved an inch. Meowth stood, hand extended, and a visible bead of sweat rolled down his face as he went from confidence to awkward panic.
Looking over his shoulder he stage-whispered back at them, as if Lily wouldn't notice, "Hey! I said, 'go get her'!"
Neither moved. Instead the giant ball bobbed up and down repeating, "koffing" a few times while the snake hissed out a few dismissive "ekans".
If Lily had to guess they were telling him to go screw himself.
Judging by his response she was right on the money, "Masters?! I'm twice as smart as those two-watt lightbulbs you're calling masters!"
A response again, likely dismissing this argument, and reminding him that giant snakes and giant balls of gas answered to no man. Or, rather, they only answered to two specific specimens of the human race.
Though why anyone would be so loyal to Jessie and James was beyond Lily.
"Come on," Meowth whined desperately, "We're all bad guys here. We don't need masters to go out and tell us to do bad stuff."
This, apparently, also wasn't the answer the pair were looking for as they dismissed him contemptuously.
"There's no such thing as a bad pokémon?" Meowth asked in confusion. Then, as they continued, he clutched at his fur in horror, "It can't be! My master's not around and I always seem to act like a rat!"
Meowth turned slowly to look back at the very unimpressed Lily. He sized her up, likely realizing that even if he did have help she could squash him like a bug. He grinned sheepishly, rubbed the back of his head, and tried to maintain his dignity, "Well, I guess I'll let you off easy and call it a draw."
She wondered if she should put him in his place. There was no need to, he was bluffing and they both knew it, but something about that smug expression…
Lily sighed, turned around, and began to walk back the way she came.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?!"
Honestly, did he have some kind of a death wish? Lily turned to look back at him, "Where do you think I'm going? I'm looking for the rest of them."
Then, slowly, she realized that he was probably the only thing that might be able to point her in the right direction. Gritting her teeth, she asked, "Have you seen them, by any chance?"
"You think I'd be wandering around like this if I had?" he asked in turn, but before she could give him credit he asked slyly, "The others, you mean you're looking for your master."
Yes, something about the way he said that reaffirmed every conviction Lily had found herself stumbling into in the past few weeks. The word master, the very idea of it, it just didn't compute. That was even worse than 'pokémon trainer'. Probably because it cut straight to the truth of the matter instead of frolicking in euphemisms.
"I don't have a master," Lily said shortly but Meowth looked unimpressed.
"Really," he said as if he knew better, "I always thought it was that skinny blonde brat, it certainly isn't any of the others."
He must be talking about Wizard Lenin. For a talking cat that only showed up every few days and then blasted off into space, he really was annoyingly insightful.
"Oh yeah," Lily asked, "What about you? Are Jessie and James your masters?"
He scoffed, looking almost insulted, "Please, if anything, I'm those two idiots' master. They'd be sitting Psyducks without me to be the brains of the operation."
Lily wasn't sure he was wrong about that, though he was giving himself an awful lot of credit, but nonetheless he'd made her point, "Then why should I be any different than you?"
"Because I'm not like other pokémon you've run into," he said smugly, and from the way he said it, Lily had a feeling he didn't just mean the talking.
She wondered about that. Pikachu seemed to show no interest in learning the human tongue, in fact, he had no real need to. He understood everything she said, could communicate what he needed to through charades, to him it probably felt like a pointless exercise just to make Lily feel better.
Meowth though, for whatever reason, either had been born speaking English or had somehow picked it up along the way. From what she understood, that wasn't normal pokémon behavior, something had driven him to do that.
Still, of all the pokémon in the world, she wasn't eager to have a conversation with a pokémon-napping cat, so she figured it was about time to get on her way again.
Unfortunately, the cat had other ideas, "You really had me fooled. I always knew you were something special, not every trainer can catch a pokémon like Stack of Bricks, but I never guessed that it was just you pulling the strings."
"Thank you?" Lily said slowly, not sure if that was a complement or not.
"You managed to outdo me," he said with a grin, "And that's a feat you don't see every day."
Now Lily really didn't know if that was a compliment or not, "I feel like that's a very low bar, given that you're a talking cat."
"Hey," he exclaimed, motioning around them, "You see any other talking pokémon around here? I may not have your or Pikachu's raw power, but I'm not chopped liver either."
"That's nice," Lily said dully then, finally, decided she'd had enough, and it was time to continue her search.
She was still trying to decide if it was nice to know for sure that someone had survived the storm. She supposed it gave hope for the others, not that she really doubted it, but she wished she hadn't run into the cat of all people.
Unfortunately, he wasn't finished, "Hey, wait up!"
He ran after her on those stubby legs, the snake and ball following behind him, and after considerable effort finally managed to catch up to her. He sucked in air desperately, glanced up at her, and just as he caught his breath asked, "What are you going to do with those morons anyway?"
Morons? Oh, he meant the gang, "I don't know, battle gym leaders or something, lead the world in a non-violent revolution."
Lily was sort of figuring out her strategy as she went with that one. Everyone seemed to have a different, horrible, idea of how to go about it when all Lily really wanted to do was just stand somewhere on a soap box and tell people to invest in boxing if they wanted to see gory matchups so badly. Or, if she had to stop pokémon fights, then not resort to the bloody state destroying revolutions that Wizard Lenin and…
And…
She lost her train of thought, she knew that had been Wizard Lenin's idea, but she swore for a second that someone else had also suggested the same thing. Except, that certainly hadn't been Ash, Pikachu, Clefairy, or Dragonite.
"Non-violent revolution?!" Meowth gaped up at her.
"Sure, what about you, why are you eager to get back to your morons?"
He didn't look the slightest bit ashamed, "I'm a bad guy and we bad guys have to clump together with other bad guys. They enable my current lifestyle."
"Your current lifestyle," Lily said dully.
"Sure, it's working out great for Meowth," he said, "You though, what have you got? A few gym badges and absolutely no respect to go with it."
"I've heard respect exponentially increases according to one's gym badges," in fact, Lily was counting on it, that more than Ash's 'stop all the battles ever' plan was probably the best path to victory.
"You want the power to change things?" Meowth asked, "Then you need power, period, and you're not going to get it with them."
Lily knew exactly where this was headed. She could just imagine him, sitting in a chair and stroking another smaller cat on his lap, as he said in his truly obnoxious voice, "First you get the money, then you get the power, then you get the women."
"Oh, and you have this power?" Lily asked dully.
"Team Rocket has this power," Meowth said, "You think it's just me and those two morons? Team Rocket is everywhere in this country and what they don't have they get. Join Team Rocket, and you can change whatever you like."
"No thanks, I'm already a drug lord in one dimension, I have no need to be someone else's minion," besides, she wasn't sure she wanted to know what a poké version of Lily Riddle even looked like.
"Oh, come on," Meowth said as he scrambled after her, "Just think about it, will you? Look, the way you guys are headed you're going to end up in Viridian City eventually, then you can just pop in and—"
"Viridian City?" Lily asked abruptly. There it was again, that feeling, a strange half-forgotten urgency that she needed to get to Viridian City sooner rather than later. Not too soon, not before Saffron City and maybe not before other cities with gyms, but that had to be a stop on her list…
She turned back to look at him, watching as he suddenly paled, as if he knew he'd said too much, "What's in Viridian City?"
"Hey now, that's exclusive information for members only," Meowth chided, "Snitches get stitches."
Lily didn't press, didn't ask what it was, she had the feeling that whatever Meowth thought was in Viridian City wasn't the same thing she thought was there. After all, it was the gym she felt the need to visit, not necessarily to battle but—
Something caught her eye up ahead. There, in the distance, a welcoming orange glow flickered. A campfire, Lily realized with a grin. Before she could help herself, she started sprinting ahead, leaving Meowth and the others to wallow in her dust. She moved branches on instinct, her feet flying over roots and rocks with ease, as the light grew closer and closer.
Then when she made it into the clearing she stopped.
She almost didn't manage to stop her smile from falling. As it was, she barely kept it in place.
Here were the familiar faces she was looking for. Pikachu, Clefairy, Charmander, Bulbasaur, Dragonite, and even Wizard Lenin's Squirtle all gathered around a campfire as they ate collected fruit from plates made of leaves.
Except, Wizard Lenin still wasn't there.
There was rustling behind her then Meowth burst into the clearing only to stop in his tracks, "Oh, why did I have to run into all of you when there's no one to back me up? Without Jessie and James here to order these two idiots around, I'm just your cat toy!"
"Lily!" Dragonite joyfully hugged her, lifting her up off the ground and twirling her around with a delighted grin, "I knew you wouldn't abandon us!"
He also completely ignored the screaming Meowth, who was tied to a nearby tree with rope Lily swore didn't exist two seconds ago, as well as the giant snake and ball of gas who for whatever reason had been deemed safe enough to leave to their own devices.
"Hey Dragonite," Lily said weakly, trying to pry herself out of his grasp and get some air, "How's it going? Glad to see you guys made it."
"Pikachu pi," Pikachu said, sounding almost chiding, and at his words Dragonite looked up, flushed, and then realized he was sort of crushing Lily with his enormous dragon-like strength.
"Oh, sorry," Dragonite said, "I forget that you're not really my size sometimes. I'm just smaller."
"It's no problem," Lily said weakly as he gently set her down on a log of wood next to the fire. They had a pretty good set up going, she thought to herself, better than some of the gang's usual camping sites even. They all sat on two logs facing each other across the campfire, each with a large leaf piled with fruit in front of them, at her look Bulbasaur gently passed her his own leaf and Lily gratefully took an uneaten apple.
God, Lily had almost forgotten how hungry she was.
But something he'd said bothered her. Between mouthfuls she asked, "Wait, but what do you mean abandon?"
For a moment, as Dragonite claimed a seat next to her, he hesitated. He searched her face, gauging her reaction, as he said, "Well, when we washed up alone on the beach, without you or any of the other humans in sight… I'm afraid some of us started to fear the worst."
For a moment, Lily assumed they'd thought she and the others had died, drowned at sea. Then she realized that for a pokémon, that wasn't the worst thing that could happen. By the look of it, death hadn't even crossed their minds, they'd wondered instead if Lily had abandoned them.
"I'd never do that! I would never abandon you, not ever, and I—"
Dragonite smiled gently, "I know. You've been abandoned too many times before to ever willingly do it to anyone else, haven't you?"
Lily's mouth fell open, except, even though he gave her a moment to answer she had no idea what to say to that. It didn't feel true, except, at the same time, it kind of did…
"I think we all know that you would come and find us eventually," Dragonite said, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as if whatever she hadn't said she didn't need to say.
Pikachu then cut in with his usual stream of pikas, chus, pis, and pikachus. Lily turned to look slowly to Dragonite, "Um, could you translate that?"
"Hm?" Dragonite asked, "Oh, right, I forgot you were deaf."
Deaf? Deaf wasn't exactly the word Lily would have used—
"He said he knew you'd come too but asked if you really had to drag that two-faced bastard Meowth here," Dragonite said, motioning to the squirming cat tied to the tree.
"Oh, right," Lily said slowly, "That um… Just kind of happened. It wasn't exactly my idea either."
Though Lily supposed she could have blown him away to kingdom come like usual, she just hadn't been in the mood for it.
At everyone's attention Meowth stopped struggling for a moment and instead asked, "Hey guys! Ain't you ever gonna stop stuffing your faces and give Meowth something to eat?!"
"Only if Meowth stops referring to himself in third person," Lily grumbled, "The Lily detests that."
Squirtle, sitting the closest to Meowth, asked something rather smug in a series of "squirtles" and "squirts".
Dragonite, thankfully, translated before Lily even had to guess, "Are you going to apologize for any of the terrible things you've done?"
Terrible things? Lily racked her brain and tried to remember if it'd ever even gotten to the point where Team Rocket or Meowth had done terrible things let alone around Squirtle. Usually, at the first sign of them, Lily kicked them back to the curb.
She guessed there was that first meeting where they raided a hospital to try to steal other people's poké-slaves. Then there were the numerous occasions they'd tried to kidnap Pikachu and would have tried to kidnap Lily if they knew what to look for. Then there was that time they'd tried to steal the Moonstone from Mt. Moon. Then that other time they'd raided Bulbasaur's previous home and tried to enslave all his friends. Then that time on the cruise ship…
Yeah, Meowth really was kind of an unapologetic dick.
As if to affirm this, Meowth shouted the answer they all expected from him, "I don't apologize!"
"Then no food for Meowth," Dragonite cheerfully translated. Squirtle, having now given his response, proceeded to savor his pile of fruit right under Meowth's nose.
"Stop making fun of me! Untie me and get me something to eat!"
Meowth probably had more to say about his current state and lack of food but neither Lily nor anyone else had any time for it. Instead, Lily looked over at Dragonite again, "Any sign of anyone else?"
He shook his head slowly, "No luck so far."
None of the others really looked too concerned by this, probably because they were closest to Lily and technically her pokémon. Pikachu was technically doing the joint ownership thing but the rest of them… Lily's eyes rested on Squirtle, the only one of them looking very uncomfortable. Right, he was technically Wizard Lenin's pokémon, wasn't he? More than that, he'd chosen to accompany Wizard Lenin after Lily had let loose on him.
At her look, Squirtle looked taken aback, even paled somewhat. Right, Lily had forgotten what a strange relationship based on utter terror they had.
"Um," Lily started, not entirely sure what to say to make any of it better, "You know, Lenin would never abandon you or me, if that's what you're worried about. He never willingly gives up anything he thinks belongs to him."
Say what you would about Wizard Lenin and his revolution that much, certainly, was true. Even if he had left her to Hogwarts' mercies after he'd recovered, he'd always consider Lily his, and would damn well make sure she knew it.
As much as Lily feared it, she didn't think he'd ever really leave her or anyone else behind. At least, she liked to believe he wouldn't.
Squirtle rubbed the back of his head, looking decidedly awkward, and more than a little nervous as everyone stared at him, "Squirtle…"
"Oh, good," Dragonite translated.
Yeah, that… probably wasn't good enough. Lily opened her mouth, closed it, and suddenly wasn't sure what to say. She didn't usually apologize to people. Normally Lily was all about damning the torpedoes and never looking back. She felt like she might have apologized once or twice to Hermione after… After everything had happened, she'd apologized to Wizard Lenin, but…
"Look," Lily said slowly, "I'm sorry about… You know…"
Nearly blowing you, your friends, and your entire town off the face of the map in a fit of godlike rage.
"… Hurting you, when we first met, I mean," Lily finished lamely.
Squirtle didn't look like he knew how to take that. He paused for a moment, then responded in a long and awkward series of "squirtles" and "squirts".
"No," Dragonite translated, "That was my bad too, or, mostly my bad. We didn't mean for it to go that far, at least, I think we probably would have sent someone for the potion eventually. Things just… got out of hand. If I was you, I probably would have done a lot worse."
If he hadn't been limited to digging pits for unsuspecting travelers, pulling pranks with spray cans, and stealing food. From what Officer Jenny had said, Squirtle was quite ingenious, but even he had only been able to take that so far.
If he'd had Lily's power at his command…
"But you are terrifying and don't even know how to talk properly," Squirtle ended, motioning towards her as if he couldn't quite believe what he was staring at.
That was… technically true in all respects. God, had she really gotten it backwards this whole time? It'd never been Pikachu or any of the others with the language problem, it was only her. They understood humans and each other just fine, it was only Lily, for whatever reason was completely deaf.
"Sorry about that," Lily said sheepishly, and then, glancing at Clefairy she asked, "What is up with that by the way? If I really am a pokémon shouldn't I just understand you guys naturally?"
Clefairy didn't seem concerned and answered calmly as she continued to nibble on her food.
"It's because you try so hard to be human," Dragonite translated, "You've spent so much effort that you've nearly pulled it off. You've forgotten nearly everything that makes you a pokémon including how to talk and hear. If you really want to remember, you'll have to let something of your humanity go."
Why were Clefairy's answers so horribly predictable?
"Thanks, but no thanks," Lily said, "I'll learn the hard way if I have to."
Yes, Lily would rather miraculously decipher poké-speak herself than take Clefairy up on moon-stoning herself into poké-vinity. Because that would certainly have a lot more side effects than just Lily being able to grunt, and squeal, and squawk with the animals.
Just then, the ground shook, water pooled on the ground rippling. A large tremor shook each and every one of them, rattling them in their seats and forcing them to grip the log to stay upright. A pause, then another, one just as short but slightly stronger. It was too short, too rhythmic, to be an earthquake.
Instead, it was like the sounds of footsteps. Slowly, they each looked up into the sky. Suddenly, the lack of native pokémon made a terrible amount of sense.
"Oh, I should have known we were in Jurassic Park," Lily said weakly.
There, towering above them, wasn't a Tyrannosaurus Rex but it might as well have been. A colossal pokémon, larger than Dragonite and Onyx combined, towered above them. Its red eyes glowed with rage as it tilted its horned head backwards and let out a deafening cry of bloodthirsty rage.
No one had to say anything, no one even had to translate to Lily, as one they all jumped up and fled, screaming as they desperately tried to find cover.
"Wait!" Meowth screamed after them in terror, wriggling more desperately than ever before, "Somebody come and untie me!"
Wordlessly, Lily cut his bonds, not even looking back as Meowth tried to recover his dignity, "Hm, I could have gotten out myself."
It was too late though, Lily and the rest of them were already halfway gone, trying desperately not to get trampled underfoot as the thing gave chase.
"I take it all back," Lily said, "This is terrible and I want to go home."
Why did awful things keep happening to her? Wasn't being trapped on a deserted island enough? Did they really have to throw in mindless and huge pokémon hell-bent on destruction into the mix? Because that's what Lily had really been missing in her life, even bigger pokémon.
They'd run almost all night, at some point collapsing in the dirt, and with the rising of the sun they were desperately running again. They still hadn't found any of the others, Team Rocket or the gang, but instead had found even bigger pokémon.
The latest and greatest being what looked like a cross between a giant blue turtle and a tank. They all hid pitifully behind a few shrubs, looking up at it and trying to decide just what they were going to do now.
Charmander let out a series of awe filled "chars".
"Look at that thing!" Dragonite translated.
Yeah, Lily was looking at it, that was the trouble. Now, not that she had anything against turtles, she and Squirtle were now on slightly better footing, but why did it have to have guns built into its shell? Was size not enough for it? It had to have guns too?
Charmander looked over curiously at Squirtle, "Is it a relative of yours, Squirtle?"
Charmander was a very sweet thing, Lily thought to herself, but she wondered if that was as racist as it sounded. Just because they were both turtles, both blue, and kind of looked the same didn't mean—
"This is Squirtle's evolved form," Meowth explained, "A Blastoise."
Or maybe when Squirtle grew up he was going to be the size of a suburb with tanks coming out of his shell. Great, Lily was looking forward to that.
"Pikachu," Pikachu said, motioning towards the thing, Dragonite translating faithfully, "Go ask for directions."
"Who? Me?!" Squirtle asked in a sudden and very understandable panic. Desperately he pointed to Lily, "Why not her? She's as terrifying as he is."
Lily decided she wasn't going to take that as a compliment. More importantly though, she had the perfect excuse for why Lily wasn't risking life and limb to go and ask for directions.
"Remember, I don't speak Turtle," Lily responded dully.
Squirtle swallowed nervously, looked back at his older brother from another mother with determination, and said, "Alright, I guess I'll try."
Slowly, trying to look far more confident than he was, Squirtle walked out of the bushes and out into the open.
"Yo, brother!" he called out.
The larger turtle, the Blastoise, slowly turned its giant head to look down at the puny and impertinent ant that dared to address it. If Lily wasn't immortal, she probably would have been fearing for her life right about now.
"Let's see…" Squirtle trailed off nervously, glancing for a moment back at the rest of them and the relative safety of hiding beneath a bush, "Um, sure is nice weather, isn't it?"
Apparently, the only thing Blastoise hated more than unevolved upstarts were questions about the weather and his health. The tanks in his upper shoulders shifted, pointed down towards the ground, and without a moment of hesitation streams of water let loose forcing them out of hiding.
Unfortunately, as they sprinted away, they almost immediately skid to a halt and had to dive behind a boulder. There, just ahead of them, lumbering along as if it hadn't a care in the world was a just as hideously large giant plant dinosaur that looked like a twelve-times more intimidating Bulbasaur.
"That's a Venusaur," Meowth said in wonder, "Evolved from a Bulbasaur."
"I think we could have guessed that," Lily hissed back. And now Lily had that to look forward to too, god, if Bulbasaur really ended up that large she really would have to carry him around in a pokéball: he'd crush cities otherwise.
"Awesome," Squirtle said, just as thrilled as Lily, and then he turned to glance at Bulbasaur, "Hey, you talk to it, you guys are like family!"
Bulbasaur paled, vines withdrawing and held up in panicked protest, "No way!"
Then, looking down to his side in a manner that would have been tragic, if he didn't look quite so smug about it, he said, "Just call me an orphan. I have no family."
Wow, that was… Lily herself was an orphan, and she'd never said it quite like that.
"Good point," Charmander said, as always, taking everyone and everything in the world at their word.
Squirtle, however, was a little more worldly and far better at seeing through bullshit, "Coward."
Still, they all looked back at it. It wasn't going anywhere, the Blastoise behind them would probably catch up eventually, and chances were they weren't going to find whatever poor people cowered in terror on this island until they stopped and asked locals for directions.
Since that lizard dog thing hadn't been any help Lily guessed it was going to come down to this thing…
"Well," she said stepping out from behind the rock, "Wish me luck."
Her back was met with several loud, panicked, whispers likely calling her back before she could get crushed but it was too late now. As she stepped out of hiding and directly into the Venusaur's path they fell deathly silent.
God, it was huge. The whips alone were colossal, she could just picture them striking through sky scrapers and sending them tumbling down.
"Um…" Lily started, and as she did it turned down to look at her, with the same wordless contempt that Blastoise had looked at Squirtle with.
Oh, oh no.
All thoughts fled, suddenly Lily felt absurdly small, and had the utter certainty that she was about to die.
Her mouth moved on its own, the words just falling out, "So, nice weather we're having, right?"
She probably should have seen his violent reaction coming.
There was something to be said when running away was your only reasonable action to take.
There was something even more to be said when the only way to stop your bloodthirsty pursuers who didn't seem to feel an ounce of pain was to light all the vegetation behind you on fire. There was something even more to be said when this failed to stop or even startle any of the said pursuers.
Out of all the Seymores, all the Samurais, all the Team Rockets this had to by far be the worst of all of them.
"I wish we'd never gotten on that blasted ship!" Lily cried out.
If they'd never gotten on the St. Anne, then none of this would have happened.
No one else had any breath to respond, running as they were, but she was more than sure they agreed. This was even worse than the giant basement snake that Wizard Lenin had kept in Hogwarts!
And then, just like that, the voice Lily had been looking all over for sounded out, "Lily!"
Lily looked ahead. There, fleeing in a speeding mining cart, was not only Ash, Misty, Brock, and the human half of Team Rocket, but Wizard Lenin calling out to her.
"Lenin!" she cried out, "I'm so happy to see you!"
He didn't look exactly happy to see her, instead he said exactly what she expected him to, "Why the hell did you light the island on fire?!"
"I didn't have much of a choice!" Lily cried out, motioning desperately behind her where Venusaur, Blastoise, and several other skyscraper sized pokémon lumbered after them.
"You could have just stopped them!" Wizard Lenin called back, "Or better yet, get rid of a few of them."
"I can't do that!" Lily shouted back, "It stands completely against my principles!"
Lily couldn't exactly be a man of the pokémon if she went around maiming or devastatingly injuring the ones she didn't get along with. She had to make at least some effort, even though all of her and the other pokémon's efforts led absolutely nowhere.
"Since when do you have principles?!"
"I'm working on them!"
"Stop working on them! You're no good to anyone if you can't do your job!"
Rather than respond to that retort with the venom it deserved Lily instead decided enough was enough. Pulling everyone together she launched them forward, flying of the flimsy train tracks and then into the mining cart along with everyone else.
She then propelled the mine cart forward, farther and faster away from their oversized foes. Lily saluted them, "So long, friends!"
"Lily, you idiot!" Wizard Lenin spluttered beneath her, "You've launched us off a cliff!"
"What?!"
She turned around, and gaped in horror as, just as he'd said, she'd launched them off the island and instead straight back over the endless blue sea. Lily desperately clutched the sides of the cart, forcing it to hover over the ocean.
There they stayed, floating above what would otherwise have been a nasty fall. Lily wordlessly expanded the cart, leaving enough space for all of them to sit comfortably. Looking back over the island Lily watched as the giant pokémon all fell over each other and were consumed by the flames. Rather than burning, they began to melt into a horrifying multi-colored liquid mass, like a giant pokémon had just vomited rainbows.
Lily… didn't think that was supposed to happen.
Slowly, Lily turned back to Wizard Lenin, brushing himself off and looking like he'd just run through hell and back in the past few days.
Other than the weather, there was only one thing to ask, "So, how's your day been?"
So, our tired heroes resume their long journey and arrive at the beautiful town of Puerto Vista.
Ah, yes, blue skies and white sands. Time to hit the surf and soak up some rays. Don't forget to use lots of sunscreen, Ash.
Author's Note: I think that's the most we've heard from Meowth in any chapter.
Thanks to readers and reviewers, reviews are much appreciated.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or Pokémon.
