Chapter 10

"Come in, El," Albus Dumbledore calls as I approach the last step outside of his office.

"You asked to see me, Albus?" I ask, noticing how old and weary the usually cheery Headmaster seems.

"Indeed, I did. Please have a seat," he gestures.

"Don't tell me I'm in trouble already. Term doesn't even start until tomorrow," I joke, trying to lighten the mood. I can't ever recall seeing Albus Dumbledore so solemn, not even when he informed me about Severus' condition.

He cracks a smile, but it fades all too quickly. "If only this were as simple as accidently hexing your Potions Professor. No, I am afraid this is rather more serious, and I suspect you will be very angry with me when I am done."

Angry with him? What in Merlin's name is going on? "Albus, you're scaring me. What's this all about?"

"It's about Severus."

With those three simple words, my heart begins pounding out of my chest. No, please no. Don't let him be hurt…or worse.

"He's alright," Albus quickly adds, either having seen the panic on my face or having read my thoughts. "I apologize for the scare, I phrased that poorly."

"Damn right you did! Infernal old man!" I think.

Albus chuckles and a hint of his usual twinkle shows through his blue eyes. "I see your time with Severus has had an impact upon your attitude."

"Bloody hell! I said that out loud? I really need to work on that."

"I'm sure the Occlumency will aid in that endeavor," the Headmaster assures me, unsurprisingly knowing what Severus has been teaching me. "Back to the matter at hand, though, now that the danger of your heart stopping has passed. I wanted to let you know, before it is revealed to the rest of the staff at the meeting tomorrow, that Severus will not be resuming his post as Potions Professor this term."

"You fired him?! Albus, what the fuck? He has been loyal to you for years, sacrificing everything, and this is how you repay him? What a dishonorable, despicable thing to do you manipulative, cold-hearted bastard!" I shout, drawing shocked and disapproving looks from the portraits on the wall.

"My dear, I have not terminated his employment; I would never. Rather, he will be taking on a different role. That of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor."

Relief washes through me, followed shortly after by embarrassment at the things I said to the venerable Headmaster. I don't have time to mentally berate myself for long, though, as the final bit of Albus's news penetrates my consciousness. "Wait, you said the Defense position? But I thought that was…"

"Cursed, yes. This is where the part about you being angry with me comes, although to be fair you have been rather peeved at me for most of this conversation," he muses as he strokes his long white beard.

"I'm sorry about that; I can get rather…emotional…when it comes to Severus," I explain sheepishly. He shrugs, conveying that it is not a problem, and I feel a bit better about my outbursts. "So the Defense position, it isn't actually cursed, is it?

"I'm afraid it is," Albus says with a regretful sigh. "Voldemort applied for it many years ago, when he was still know as Tom Riddle, and I denied it to him. Ever since that time Hogwarts has not been able to keep any professor in that position for longer than a year."

"So what will happen to Severus after this year?" I ask, dreading the answer.

"My sincerest hope is that he can resign of his own volition and return to being our beloved, and much feared, Potions Professor. However, the truth is that I simply do not know. There are…things…afoot, that may dramatically change the course of many of our lives. I fear the battle against Voldemort will soon come to fruition, and it is essential to the outcome that your former Potions Professor, Horace Slughorn, be here at Hogwarts. As he, unlike Severus, is only qualified to teach the one position, I had to utilize Severus elsewhere."

"Severus agreed to this?" I ask, knowing that Severus is knowledgeable about Defense, but also knowing that his true passion is potions.

"As you said earlier, Severus is unfailingly loyal. He knows the consequences of failure against Voldemort, and he has agreed to do whatever is needed for the cause, no matter how reluctant he may be about the actual tasks."

"Why didn't he tell me?" I ask softly, my insecurities about Severus's feelings rearing their ugly head.

"I'm afraid that was my fault. I asked him not to tell anyone of our plans, to ensure that there was no interference. It is not that I do not trust you, but one never knows who might be listening, even here in the halls of the school."

I nod my head, knowing that what he says is true. I am trying my best not to be annoyed at the Headmaster, or Severus, and honestly it is probably better that I was not aware of this until now. Otherwise, I would have been worrying about the curse and its impact upon my love for the entire summer.

"I swear to you, El, that I will do everything within my power to protect Severus, but you must understand that, as much as I love the boy, defeating Tom must be my first priority. As a member of the Order now, it must be your first priority as well. We all must be willing to sacrifice our lives, and even the lives of those we love, which is infinitely more difficult, of course, to ensure that he is stopped. Otherwise, many more lives will be forfeit, I fear.," he explains with abject sadness in his eyes and a hitch in his voice.

"I understand," I reluctantly reply, and it is the truth. I do understand the paramount importance of defeating Voldemort, at any cost, I just hope it doesn't come down to Severus being part of the payment. If it does, I don't know if I will be able to carry on. I can't worry about that now, though. Worrying doesn't solve the problem and it clouds ones ability to think rationally, so using my natural powers of self-deception and the occlumency tricks I have learned, I force that worry to the recesses of my mind and soldier on.

"You truly are a remarkable woman," Albus comments with pride in his voice, causing red to flush up my neck to my cheeks. "Severus is lucky to have you, and I hope with all of my being that you two will be able to live a wonderful, peaceful life together once this threat has been eliminated. For now, though, go to your occlumency lesson. I hear you are extremely close to mastering the art and I look forward to testing your skills."

"Thank you, Albus," I respond with a smirk, knowing only Severus could have told him of my progress, meaning that he is in fact proud of me, even if he won't admit it easily. Just as I am turning to leave, though, I see Albus move his hand from under the desk and it stops me in my tracks.

"Albus," I ask determinedly, "what happened to your hand?"

Immediately the old man flushes and tries to hide his hand under the desk again. "Oh no you don't," I chastise, "let me see that."

Reluctantly he places his hand on the desk and I can't help but gasp at its condition. His hand is black as pitch, dry and crackling, and seemingly starting to whither. At first I think he may have burned it, but upon closer inspection I see that this must be the work of a curse. I can feel the Dark Magic coming off of his skin in waves, making me slightly nauseated. "What in the name of Merlin happened, Albus?" I ask, gently examining the cursed appendage. Truthfully, I have never seen a curse quite like this one and I can't help but wonder what kind of power could have caused it.

"It seems you are mastering occlumency just in time, my dear. Please, have a seat, it's a bit of a long story…"

Twenty minutes later I make my way to the dungeons, feeling a intellectual curiosity and dread, wondering what I can do to reverse the curse on Albus, and what the future will bring. My swirling emotions come to a crashing halt, though, when I see Severus sitting on the treatment bed, staring off into space with the most blank, haunted look I have ever seen on his visage.

"Severus?" I inquire as I hurry to approach him and kneel in front of him so that I may get a clearer look at his face. "What's wrong?" He takes a deep breath and it seems as if he has the weight of the world on his slender shoulders.

"I fear I may have just forfeit any remaining chance I had of getting out of this war alive," he sighs despondently, his deep black eyes glistening with regret.

"What? Why?" I ask in a shocked and panicked voice, forgetting all about my planned discussion with him regarding his change in position at Hogwarts.

"I had to. It was either surrender my chance, or allow Draco to surrender his soul. The boy can be a spoiled brat, but he is only following the example set by his father. He does not deserve to have his innocence ripped away from him. As his Head of House, it is my duty to protect him."

"Protect him from what?" I urge, not understanding what Severus is trying to say.

"From becoming a murderer," he answers sadly. "What I tell you now must remain absolutely secret. If it were to get out, it could ruin the boy's life, though I fear that may be inevitable at this point, but it could also unravel all of our efforts against the Dark Lord," he warns with dire solemnity.

"Of course," I swear, taking his cold hands into mine and gently warming them as he speaks.

"I have sworn an Unbreakable Vow to Narcissa Malfoy to protect Draco, to the best of my ability," he explains.

"Well that's not so bad," I start, but he impatiently puts his hand up to stop me from continuing.

"And…I have sworn to fulfill the deed the Dark Lord tasked him with if he seems unable to fulfill it."

"Ok, what deed was he given?"

"To kill Dumbledore," he responds flatly, seemingly barely holding himself together.

For a moment, I swear my heart stops beating. Did he say? No, he couldn't have! Severus can't kill Albus! He is like a father to him! It would utterly destroy Severus to do something like that!

"Why?" I manage to choke out through my frozen shocked lips.

"I imagine it is a punishment for Lucius smashing the Prophecy at the Department of Mysteries this past summer," he postulates.

"No, I mean why would you ever agree to that? You know you can't kill Albus!" I hiss at him.

"I must! If I do not then that means Draco will have to do it! The little prat has not stained his soul yet, I cannot stand idly by and watch him sacrifice his entire future for a mistake his father made! Even if I could stomach it, Albus will not allow it. Draco is young and naïve, just as I once was, and the Dark Lord is taking advantage of that. I know what it feels like to take a life, and I will be damned before I allow him to feel that crushing pain, hatred, and emptiness!" he shouts with passion as he pushes himself off the bed with force. Besides…" he leads, hesitating, "the Headmaster is not…well. He isn't…"

"You're referring to his hand?" I ask, seeing that he cannot bring himself to talk about Albus's condition.

"How do you know about that?" he quips intently.

"I just came from his office. I saw it as I was leaving and insisted on examining him. After all, I am a Healer, and curses are my specialty," I remind him.

He sucks in a baited breath and I can see the flash of hope streak across his fathomless eyes. "Can you…can you cure him?" he whispers.

I want so much to be Severus's savior right now. I want to assure him that I have it all under control and that his mentor will be right as rain in a few shakes of a lamb's tail…but I can't. I can't lie to the man I love, event if the truth is going to hurt. "I don't know," I say with blunt honesty as I see him emotionally deflate. The curse is unlike any I have ever seen before. However, you can bet your buttons that I am going to try my damndest to find a cure. I won't stop until I do, I promise you that."

"I have no doubt," he assures me as he gently caresses my face. "You are brilliant, El. If you are unable to find the cure, though, please do not be too hard on yourself. The Dark Lord is frighteningly brilliant with curses, and has in fact designed ones of his own on many occasions. If that is the case here, there may not be a cure."

"I understand. I am not so pompous as to believe I can save everyone, but I have to try, for him…and for you."

"Eleanor, I appreciate that, but please promise me that if it comes down to the worst and I must…do this deed, that you will try not to hate me completely."

"Severus!" I exclaim with outrage, "I could never hate you, not completely and not at all! If you do have to go through with this, it is NOT because you want to. I know that you get no joy out of the horrendous acts you must commit. You only do these things so that the greater good can triumph in the end. In this case, you are trying to save a young boy's soul. How could I ever possibly hate you for that?" I implore as I grip his arms tightly and look stalwartly into his eyes.

"Others will hate me. They will revile me as a traitor and a monster. I do not wish for you to be caught in that fallout."

"I would face that without a second thought; you are worth it," I begin, holding my hand up to forestall his forthcoming objection, "but I won't have to. Remember, the Headmaster is the only one who knows of our relationship, so no one else will hold your perceived sins against me."

A look of relief flashes across his face. "Of course. That will work to your advantage, but you must be careful not to show me any sympathy if this is becomes the path I must walk. Even if you somehow do not despise me, you must not reveal that to anyone, not even the Order."

"What do you mean not event the Order? If you have to do this, shouldn't Minerva be informed so that she can be your new contact?" I ask with confusion.

"No one else in the Order has the requisite level of occlumency skill to preclude the Dark Lord from seeing the truth in their mind. I fear my true motives for this may need to remain between Albus and I. Well, and you, since I have foolishly shared the secret with you. However, you are well on your way to mastering this craft, so with any luck you will be able to shut the Dark Lord out completely by the time I need to take action."

"In that case, we had better get back to it," I comment insouciantly, trying my best to hide the turmoil swirling in my heart and mind. I can see this dilemma is killing my love, and I have no idea how to help him. I know he has killed before and that it eats him up, but if he has to go through with murdering Albus, I fear he may never be able to extract himself from the guilt which he would bury himself with. I guess all I can do is be there for him, and do my best to cure the curse on Albus. Merlin help me.