Chapter Thirty-Five: Autophobia
"We need to do something."
Todoroki did not lift his head from his arms at Midoriya's proclamation.
Sitting at a table at Yaoyorozu's house with many of his classmates was not how he expected to spend his break. Due to Tokoyami's disappearance, their Quirk training trip had been delayed, leaving Class 1-A with little to do. So here Todoroki was. Here they all were, even Bakugo. All except one.
"And what would that be?" Iida asked.
His boisterous, confident tone had been replaced by a weary tenor that made him sound much older than his years. Ashido was similarly despondent, sitting with her head on the table as Kirishima laid a comforting hand on her arm. Beside him, Jiro shivered and lowered her head, hands tugging insistently at her ear lobes. Even Todoroki could tell she was upset. He had not known she cared so much for Tokoyami. Or maybe she was upset for him since she kept glancing his way.
Midoriya looked around at the tense, hopeless faces that looked to him for instructions and faltered. "We could try to gather information—"
"The Pros are already doing that." Yaoyorozu interrupted, tone apologetic.
Midoriya gritted his teeth. "Well maybe they missed some—"
"Do you really think that?" Bakugo interjected, much more coldly than Iida. "Or are you just trying to play Hero again?"
"Hey." Kaminari jabbed him in the shoulder. "Be a bit nicer for once, would you?"
Bakugo abruptly rose from his chair, knocking it back.
"This is a waste of time." He spat.
Bakugo stormed out, and Todoroki had the feeling he would not come back. He was not the only one.
"Good riddance." Sato muttered.
Iida turned on him in an instant. "Do not say that about your classmate! I shall ensure he gets home."
He raced out of the door before they could stop him.
Todoroki quickly rose as well.
"Where are you going?" Tsuyu asked.
"After Tenya."
He headed to the door only to find Uraraka was keeping pace with him.
She noticed his look and gave him a sad smile. "There's strength in numbers."
Todoroki nodded sharply and they went after Iida and Bakugo. By the time they found them, Bakugo was close to exploding, palms crackling as he cussed at Iida. Among the swears, he snarled that he did not need a bodyguard.
"I don't care." Iida stated. "I am the Class President and I will not lose another friend."
Bakugo caught sight of Uraraka and Todoroki and his red eyes burned with disgust. "We're not friends."
He turned on his heel and stalked down the street.
Iida, Todoroki, and Uraraka kept their distance but followed him all the way home, no matter how many times Bakugo told them to leave.
When they returned to Yaoyorozu's, Todoroki asked Midoriya why he did not follow as well.
"Kacchan is strong." Midoriya said simply. "He can take care of himself."
Todoroki thought of Hawks and Tokoyami and found himself shaking his head in disagreement.
"It doesn't matter how strong you are. No one should be alone."
XXXXXXX
You're pathetic.
You deserve this.
You're sitting here moping and doing nothing. Just goes to show how weak you really are.
You deserve this.
Even your future self kept fighting after he lost his wings and was tortured. But what are you doing? Absolutely nothing.
You deserve this.
What kind of Hero gives up, huh?
You deserve this.
Just go ahead and keep laying here. Lay around and wait for Kaetsu to finally kill you. That sounds like a great plan.
You deserve this.
Hawks did not need separate voices in his head to tell him how weak he was. His mind did it all on his own as he lay in bed, staring numbly at the wall.
He did not know how long he had been like this.
He did not care.
Kaetsu had come in many times since he took Hawks's wings. Hawks did not bother to count anymore. His handler used his Quirk to take control of Hawks's body from him but Hawks was almost used to it now. He sliced Hawks's skin with his knives a lot, leaving small cuts like surgical incisions everywhere. Nothing too bad, really.
Afterward Kaetsu took pictures, placing Hawks in poses that showed off his wounds like he modeled clothes. It wasn't a big deal— it was just training— so Hawks mostly drifted through it or stared at the blank white walls as the camera went click click click.
Kaetsu kept giving him those injections a few times, and forced food down Hawks's throat twice. Hawks only knew it had been twice because he could not ignore Kaetsu forcing his mouth open and shoving a tube down his esophagus.
It didn't matter.
None of it mattered.
Hawks did not struggle at all, no matter what Kaetsu did. Why bother? If he somehow got the upper hand, Kaetsu would simply take control of him using his Quirk. Kaetsu liked his compliance. Most of the time, anyway. He seemed to be angry when Hawks drifted.
Hawks did not mean to drift. His head became foggy and grey on its own until he woke to Kaetsu kissing or shaking or striking or slicing or strangling him. Hawks was beginning to accept that Kaetsu was going to accidentally kill him in a rage one of these days. That did not scare him as much as he thought it would. In fact, it was preferable.
Perhaps that was why Kaetsu managed to stop himself just in time: because he realized Hawks wanted it to end.
Hawks wondered if that apathy would comfort him when Kaetsu actually killed him. Heroes faced death calmly, relieved they had saved as many as they could, so maybe Hawks could manage that and pretend to be a Hero?
Who was he kidding?
Good Heroes did not allow themselves to be captured.
They did not let themselves wallow in self-pity.
They did not let their captors know they had been broken.
Good Heroes did not want to die.
Hawks stared at the empty wall of his cell, waiting for it to open. Every few minutes he thought he heard noises outside and tensed, only for the wall to remain blank. Hawks rubbed his arms and rocked back and forth, listening to the bed springs creak beneath him. He shivered and pulled the red blanket onto himself, ignoring the dry patches that were from his blood.
He continued to wait like a pet waited for its master to come home and blinked rapidly with dry eyes. At least he had not cried. He had come close, but he had not cried. That meant Kaetsu would not be too mad, right?
Hawks wondered why he kept trying to delude himself.
He heard footsteps.
He held his breath and subconsciously tapped his fingers with each step.
Tap tap tap tap tap.
The wall did not open.
Minutes passed.
He heard footsteps.
He held his breath and subconsciously tapped his fingers with each step.
Tap tap tap-tap-tap tap tap tap-tap.
They were different this time.
Were there… more pairs?
One of them sounded uneven.
Hawks heard a strange noise with the footsteps.
Before he could identify it, they faded away.
The wall did not open.
Hawks waited.
And waited.
And waited.
Like a mindless doll, unable to act on its own.
Hawks's breath hitched and he shoved the blanket off of himself, hating how it lay against his bare, wingless back. He hugged his knees and rocked back and forth again.
Maybe if he bashed his head into the edge of the metal headboard hard enough he would die?
No, no. Bad thoughts. People needed him to live.
Hawks thought about the noise he had heard instead of thinking about how he did not want to be here anymore. The new noise, not the steps. What had it been?
His breath hitched and he stifled himself, still rocking. Kaetsu would be angry if he cried. But he would also be angry if he did not cry. He would be angry no matter what Hawks did and Hawks was going to die here and he deserved it because what kind of Hero gave up and had to not-cry and needed to be saved—?
Comprehension clicked and Hawks finally identified the noise.
It had been crying.
Kaetsu would not cry.
The Nomu certainly would not.
Two… three pairs of footsteps?
Someone else is here.
In an instant, Hawks's priorities shifted.
In another instant, they went right back to where they were as he realized why they changed at all.
The voices were right.
Even now, he never fought for himself.
Kaetsu was right, too.
He was selfish and stupid.
Hawks shoved his self-pity away. Someone else was in trouble. He had to work now.
The loss of his wings would not affect his—
It would not affect his perform—
Hawks curled up and muffled himself. Heroes did not cry. Hawks was worthless and stupid and pathetic and he deserved it but he had to pretend to be a good Hero because the other person was important.
He got up, wobbling on his shaking legs as his head swam. It swam because he was tired and miserable, not because he had trouble balancing because his wings were gone.
But someone needed his help so he had to act even though he was nothing.
Hawks went to the metal plate that held his chain to the floor and sat next to it. He did not inspect it, having already done that countless times. A hysterical gasp forced its way from his throat and he curled up, pressing his hands over his mouth again. Kaetsu did not barge in and berate him for acting unheroically so he must not have heard.
Hawks robotically pulled at the chain, and tried to unscrew a bolt with his bleeding fingers, and when that failed he tried to pry it up, bloodying them further. Nothing worked, as always. He looked around the room, but there was nothing he could use unless he wanted a pillow to smother himself or a blanket to try to hang himself with—
I have to live because people need me.
Hawks returned to the bed and curled up, pressing the pillow over his ears to try to block out the crying he swore he could still hear. He was useless and stupid so he had no ideas. He needed help. He was no Hero because he needed help to save someone.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself, you stupid bitch. At least pretend you're a Hero.
Hawks had some help if he wanted, but he was stupid and selfish and whiny so he was afraid to ask for it. It was not like he deserved that help after what he did. He got them captured and made their Quirks inaccessible.
It was his fault his body ached so much he did not remember what it felt like to not feel pain.
It was his fault he was chained up like a disobedient pet.
It was his fault he could barely walk a couple feet without collapsing.
It was his fault his wings were—
But someone else needed help. To help them, he needed help.
What kind of Hero—?
Shut up.
I'm not a good Hero.
I never was.
Hawks deserved their anger anyway.
Bracing himself, Hawks hesitantly unlocked the door inside his head.
The voices rushed out, enveloping him.
Their relief was a bit of a surprise.
Their anger was not.
Hawks did not try to shield himself as their shouts and emotions slammed into him, battering at him like gale force winds. They were all furious, as they rightfully should be after what he did. He thought he felt Red and Pink and maybe Silver struggle for a moment but they were lost in the tsunami of rage directed at Hawks.
If the voices had bodies, Hawks knew he'd be receiving a few punches at the very least.
I'm sorry.
"Shut up." Green said lowly.
Hawks shrank in on himself, breaths coming in sharp, painful gasps as he remembered Green could take control at any time. Hawks would let him too. He had to let him because he would not be selfish now.
Green's anger doubled and Hawks forced himself to keep breathing. In and out and in and out and in and out—
"You idiot." White said, voice low with disappointment.
Hawks did not flinch, if only because he knew flinching would not help him. I'm sorry. I should have let you out sooner.
"Damn right you should have." Pink snapped. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't shut us in." She recoiled. "Wait, no. I didn't mean that."
Hawks did not try to defend himself.
I'm sorry. Someone else is here, he thought tonelessly. We have to help them.
"Oh, so that's why you let us out?" Yellow snarled. He twitched and Hawks felt him clutch at his head. "Damn it! Shut up!"
I'm sorr—
"STOP saying that!" Purple bellowed.
Hawks went silent. He realized he was curled up against the headboard, bracing for a blow.
"Shit." Purple breathed, voice ragged. "Everyone calm down."
If he tried to use his Quirk, it did not work. Their anger was too strong. How could Hawks do this to them? How could he shut them in? How could he make it so they could not help him when he needed them? They were Heroes. Helping people was their job but Hawks tossed them aside like a stupid, selfish idiot—
"Enough."
Of all the voices, the last Hawks expected to be the calm in the storm would be Orange. His serenity spread out through the others and a chill went up Hawks's spine. Orange was explosively angry. He was loud and ranted and swore when he was upset.
This was different.
It was cold. It was focused.
It was terrifying.
Hawks's mind slipped away from the outside world just a little, selfishly hoping it would make what came next less painful. A voice brushed him and he recoiled, realizing they were trying to pull him into their dorm.
No.
The pleading thought escaped despite Hawks's desperate attempts to hide it and he pressed his hands over his mouth, biting his knuckles. He could escape Kaetsu by drifting but he had no way to escape the voices. If he was selfless, he would just fall back and let them do whatever they needed without him. He was useless but they would not be.
Just let it happen. It will be over when it's over. There is nothing you can do to stop it.
A voice brushed Hawks again and this time he did not resist, letting them grab him and pull him away. He did not feel another voice take control in his stead and when he appeared in UA's dorms, all eight of them surrounded him. Among them was the newly-revealed future Momo Yaoyorozu, her hair in its familiar ponytail.
The next thing Hawks noticed was that his injuries and outward appearance had transferred again. That included his missing coat and shoes. And his lost wings.
Which the voices were staring at.
Hawks silently curled up on the fake-fake-not-real-fake couch and shut his eyes.
"They're really gone." He heard Pink croak.
"They'll grow back." Green rambled. "There's still bone left so they'll grow back—"
"Shut up, Deku!" Orange shouted.
Hawks was incapable of making himself any smaller but he tried anyway. He felt someone sit next to him and did not move. Were all the voices still there or had someone taken control since he was useless?
Someone grabbed his arm and he let them lift him into a sitting position, allowing them to maneuver his body like Kaetsu did. Something wrapped around him and he flinched, waiting for an arm to circle his throat and begin squeezing.
Instead it settled across his back, below the exposed bones of his wings, and he was leaned against a hard chest. Hawks cautiously opened his eyes to see Orange's glowing figure. It took Hawks a second, but he slowly realized that Orange was not going to strangle him like Kaetsu. Instead he was… hugging him? His single arm was embracing Hawks.
Why? Was it a trick like the ones Kaetsu always pulled?
Although Hawks could not see Orange's features in the glow, he did not seem angry.
He was calm.
In fact, all the voices were calm. They were looking at Hawks sadly.
Hawks did not understand. Where had the anger gone?
"We're not angry at you, id— Gold." Orange growled. "We're pissed at Kaetsu."
Hawks wished he would not lie. He heard Orange's teeth grind as he clenched his jaw. Hawks remembered the voices still knew what he was thinking here. He shut his eyes again. Orange still was not yelling at him and— He flinched as White's warm hand laid itself on his forearm.— and no one was hurting him. Was it because they had to help someone? That must be it, since they knew this was Hawks's fault.
"Fuck that." Orange snarled.
Hawks tried not to flinch away from him. He did not completely succeed.
Orange scowled in annoyance but he did not strike Hawks like Kaetsu would. Instead he glared.
In the sea of orange light Hawks perceived him as, his eyes glowed red.
"Listen to me." Orange commanded. "Your wings may be gone right now but you are not useless. You are more than your Quirk."
Hawks's lips morphed into a plastic smile. You're right.
Orange's frustration made him physically recoil. "You don't believe me. You're just agreeing. Figures."
Hawks should apologize but apologies made people mad. He lowered his gaze instead and forced himself to think. Who wants to take over?
"Excuse me?" Silver asked as if he had misheard. "We are not taking control while you are like this."
So they did realize how useless Hawks was. Hawks nodded in understanding and tried not to shrink away as Green tried and failed to hide his responding anger. Green smiled at him but it was clearly forced.
"We are not angry at you." he insisted.
Hawks did not respond to that lie. He was almost tempted to call Green out on it because maybe then he would stop pretending. Maybe then they would all stop pretending.
There's someone we have to save, he reminded them tonelessly, because that was what more important than his desire to make them hurt him already.
Their anger flared again and he wished he had somewhere to hide.
"We're practically Quirkless right now." Yellow said as if they had never been upset.
"Quirkless does not mean helpless." Green stated.
Silver nodded in adamant agreement.
"Anyone have an idea what he's injecting into Hawks and how it might affect Quirks?" Purple asked rapidly.
Your Quirks are already gone right now but they'll come back with my wings, Hawks told them distantly. At least he could pretend he had something to give them. I can still be useful. You can use my body—
"We don't care about that." Pink interrupted, sounding close to tears.
Hawks avoided looking at her. We don't have time to wait for them to regenerate. He continued as if she had not spoken. Besides, Kaetsu will cut them off again if they do. The voices shuddered and grimaced at Hawks's detached statement of fact. Red, can you use my body fat to recreate my wings and feathers?
There was no emotion in the question, as if Hawks were a program asking and not a person. He waited for one of them to hit him for his dismissive attitude but none of them did.
"I… I don't know." Red said uncomfortably. "I normally can't make organic material but with our Quirks being altered as they have… I can try."
Another lie. She knew it would not work. Hawks's wings had to return on their own.
Hawks heard a distant clatter and ice tore through his nonexistent veins.
Yellow ran to the window and peered out. He swore. "He's back. He's chaining Gold in the collar again."
He can drag me around like a doll, Hawks thought apathetically. It's what he wants anyway.
"No. Not happening." Silver said rapidly. "He might kill you."
Hawks made himself as small as possible, which was much easier without his wings. Silver was right. He was being selfish again. Kaetsu got angry when Hawks did not respond. He might drag him by the collar until he was strangled. Hawks could not be selfish. The voices needed him to live so they could.
He had to leave.
Hawks forced himself to his feet and hobbled towards the door, stumbling like a zombie. His legs gave out a few feet from it and he crumpled. White caught him before he could hit the floor. He did not let go, even as Hawks weakly pulled at his hand.
I have to go.
"No." White said tightly. "He'll just hurt you more."
If I die we all do, Hawks reminded him.
He made himself pull against White's restrictive hold until he released him. Hawks knew it was not because he made the stronger Hero do so. He almost wished White kept hanging on.
Hawks got to his feet again and felt the voices' eyes on his back. He took another step, then another, but found he could not make himself move any further. It was as if Kaetsu had paralyzed him even in his own mind. Slowly, realized why he could not walk out that door.
He wanted one of the voices to stop him again.
The realization should not be a surprise but it blindsided Hawks.
He hunched over, breaths coming in sharp gasps. Heroes sacrificed themselves for others but Hawks was no Hero because he could not bear a little pain to spare eight other people from it. The Commission President was right. He was a terrible person. He was selfish and ungrateful by nature. He was a coward and stupid and manipulative and reckless and lazy and no wonder Kaetsu punished him he deserved it he—
Hawks was screaming again. It was a soft, desperate sound that only grew louder as the voices crowded around him and comforted him. There he was, being manipulative again because he was a selfish bitch at heart and made them think he deserved their sympathy when it was not that bad, really. Kaetsu could do worse but Hawks was so weak he was already breaking. No wonder he deserved it he deserved it he deserved it.
Hawks looked up at the voices, not bothering to hide the— fake, crocodile, sympathy-digging, stop pretending to cry you piece of shit— tears in his eyes.
I can't, he confessed.
None of them yelled at or hit him even though he deserved it.
"You have t—" Green stopped. "No you don't." He paced back and forth a few steps, yanking at his green hair. "Okay. Okay." He took a breath. "I'll—"
Red disappeared out the door.
Hawks and the other voices watched it close behind her in silent shock. Then Hawks lurched towards it, grasping the handle. The metal slipped through his hands like it was made of smoke. He tried to grab it again, and again, fingers clutching at what felt like air.
Come back, he croaked. He raised his fists and pounded weakly against the door. Red, please come back inside!
If Red heard him, she did not respond. Hawks dashed to the window with the other voices and felt his limbs shift as she took control. Red lifted Hawks's head and stared at Kaetsu just as he grabbed the collar. Kaetsu's acid green eyes locked onto hers and Hawks swore his handler was still looking straight at him.
"Momo Yaoyorozu." Kaetsu said calmly.
Red froze.
Kaetsu smiled. It was not a pretty grin. "That is your name, is it not? Or is that merely what you believe your name is?"
To her credit, Red recovered quickly. "I will not fall for such deceit. I know I am myself."
Kaetsu chuckled lightly. "Fair enough."
He held out his hand in a mockery of a knight helping a fair lady up some stairs.
Red punched him in the throat.
Kaetsu gave a choked gurgle and Red yanked the chain from his hands, wrapping it around his neck. Before she could pull, he grasped her wrist and head, slamming it into the wall. Everything went blurry and when their sight returned, Hawks's body was pinned beneath his handler's.
Hawks ran back to the door and yanked on it desperately.
"That was fun." Kaetsu said with false serenity. His grip on Red's wrists tightened as his voice lowered dangerously. "Now give me my Angel back."
"No." Red spat. "Hawks, don't watch."
Hawks wondered how she could ask that of him. He forsake trying to grab the door handle in favor of clawing at the door, leaving his fingertips raw and bloody. Silver tried to drag him away but he yanked himself out of his grasp, speaking desperately to Red.
You don't have to do this it's my body I can handle it please I don't want him to hurt you please Red please let me have control I won't break I can be useful you don't have to do this don't do this for me let him hurt me please—
Kaetsu did not strangle Red or stab her or knock her out. To him, she was an annoyance or an obstacle and little else. She was not worthy of his effort like Hawks. Hawks could not be more grateful—
"Fine." Kaetsu stated. "If you want to be stubborn, then I have a present that I think you both may enjoy."
His tone was too calm, and Hawks had the sinking realization that his previous assumptions had been incorrect.
He grabbed Hawks's body by the hair and dragged Red outside. There was no blindfold or carrying this time, and Hawks felt his unease mounting as Red was pulled down another hall.
Kaetsu slammed her head into the wall a few times to disorient her and shoved her into a room that held a single chair. The wall in front of it was covered with darkened monitors along with the type of microphone used for announcements.
By the time Red recovered, he had shoved her down, and manacles clicked shut around Hawks's neck, wrists, and ankles. Kaetsu pulled a heart rate monitor next to her, attaching it, and a quick— but steady— beeping noise filled the room. Hawks's back ached where his wing bones and other injuries pressed against the cold back of the chair but Red did not flinch, meeting Kaetsu's gaze resolutely.
"The Commission does not know who you are, but I do." Kaetsu explained pleasantly as he carefully checked the manacles. "I've been studying you for quite a while. Not your other self, of course. You. The fear of being discovered piqued my interest, but it was your fear 'Red' that was simply too beautiful for me to ignore. It's so sweet that you and my Angel both care for that little bird."
If Hawks had a heartbeat, it would have tripled. Around him, cracks appeared in their fabricated UA.
Red went rigid, expression twisting into a mix of fear and unadulterated rage. "If you touch—"
Kaetsu grabbed her by the head and yanked it forward, choking her into silence with the collar before releasing her. He paused, fingers lingering on the collar around her throat, and an irritated expression flashed across his face, almost too quickly for Hawks to spot. Kaetsu took a deep, steadying breath, one Hawks recognized as what he did when he felt particularly murderous.
"It seems we have some rats scurrying about. Not to worry. I can exterminate them easily. But while I'm busy, how about you and my Angel enjoy a little show?"
He flicked a switch.
On one screen was Tokoyami.
He looked awful, his feathers dirty and bent and Dark Shadow a thin, frail phantom.
His eyes were bloodshot from tears.
On the other was Kaetsu's Nomu Jiro.
She smiled at the camera, showing bloody teeth.
Red's borrowed skin drained of color and the monitor's beeping grew quicker.
Kaetsu grinned and spoke into the microphone.
"Kill him."
He broke the microphone into pieces and walked out.
XXXXXXX
"Ding ding ding! We have a winner." Twice crowed.
"Agh, this place is so creepy! Don't make me go in." Twice moaned.
He saw Dabi roll his eyes in his peripheral and sulked at him, muttering about what an awful friend he was.
"You're an amazing friend, Dabi." Twice contradicted a second later. "You really came through and pulled your weight."
Twice tried not to think about how he came through after several days of… stuff. He also tried not to think about the body they had left at the bottom of a river.
Instead he focused on the decrepit hospital in front of them. He had been to a lot of creepy abandoned hospitals in the past couple weeks but this one took the cake, the pudding, and the ice cream too. The hospital was surrounded by miles of forests, meaning it was far from civilization and only the most lost souls could hope to stumble upon it. Most of the windows were shattered, the side was covered in vines, and half the building looked like it had collapsed in an earthquake.
The sign out front was cracked and rotting, leaving what was supposed to be 'Shiho Asylum' as 'Shi Asylum.' 'Shi' as in the kanji for 'death'. Twice wondered if the former owner named it that on purpose because he believed its inmates were doomed to damnation. Why else would he name his asylum 'Death Fire Asylum.' Did he think he was subtle? He may as well forget using a symbolic meaning and just name it 'Hell'.
The place honestly looked like a horror movie set. Twice bet there were ghosts. Lots and lots of ghosts and angry spirits.
This place did not look that scary, really. There was no such things as ghosts so Twice walked confidently forward, only for Dabi to grab his arm.
"Don't rush in. This place isn't empty, unlike the last ones."
"You're right." Twice acknowledged. "We should be cautious."
"I can do what I want!" Twice snapped.
Dabi released him but despite his latter claims, Twice did not run into the building. He bounced impatiently in place, gaze locked onto the open space created by the collapsed part of the building. It looked sturdy enough. For a half-collapsed part of a building, that was. As in it probably would not crumble underneath them if they climbed on it. Hopefully.
"We'll be sneaky so we don't anger the ghosts." Twice said.
"I don't want to be murdered." Twice moaned.
Dabi rolled his eyes and picked his way over debris, heading towards a door. It was technically inside the building— or at least, what used to be inside the building— so hopefully it would be unlocked. The handle turned when Dabi grabbed it and Twice grinned.
"Awesome." he crowed as he followed Dabi inside. "You know, for a hideout this place isn't very secure—"
The door slammed shut behind them.
"EEEEEEEEE—!"
Dabi clapped a hand over Twice's mouth.
"The wind closed it, dumbass." he hissed.
Twice chuckled awkwardly. "Oh. Okay."
Twice scowled. "I wasn't scared."
The inside of the asylum was dark. Dabi lit a hand and Twice used his phone's flashlight, trying not to feel like a teenager about to meet a chainsaw-wielding murderer. Or a knife-wielding murderer. Or an axe-wielding murderer. Dabi was probably scarier than any murderer though so maybe they would be okay and emerge very not-murdered.
The walls were cracked and peeling, with distorted, melted wallpaper on the walls. Twice guessed they used to be flower designs but now they looked like splotches of blood dripping down the walls. The tiles were not better, consisting of a sickening brown that looked like dried blood. Toga would probably go nuts for this place. Twice decided that was a bad choice of words there considering what this place was.
He crept towards one of the dark halls, peeking into the shadows as he tried to decide whether it was better or worse that there were no flickering lights and instead pitch blackness.
"This way is as good as any." he decided.
"This way sucks!" he complained.
"What'cha think, Dabi?"
Dabi did not reply.
"Dabi…?" Twice looked around to see his companion was not there. He laughed nervously and threw his hands upward in an exaggerated movement. "Really? You choose now of all times to ditch me? Have you seen none of the horror movies? Never split the party, man!"
"What is this?"
Twice's spine went rigid.
He knew that voice.
He recognized that voice.
He heard that voice every day, sometimes in his head and often times out of it.
Twice slowly turned around to see himself.
His other self stared back at him, as shocked as… himself.
Breathe, Jin. Breathe. Breathe breathe breathe—
"I didn't make a clone." Twice said as steadily as he could.
The other Twice startled, visibly confused. "What? No. Of course you didn't. I'm Twice. You are a clone." He took a shaky breath and touched his mask as if reassuring himself it was there. "Oh shit. I guess I created you when I had that freakout, huh?"
Twice swallowed, ignoring his pounding heartbeat and sweaty palms.
That day where he had misplaced his mask. He had found it, but he'd been splitting. Had… Had he not been quick enough? Surely he would remember if he split, right? Surely if he was a clone he would remember—
No no no. He was Twice. He was himself. He was not a new clone.
Twice blinked and there were two other Twices staring at him.
He blinked again and there were four.
Eight.
Sixteen.
Thirty-two—
More and more Twices filled the halls, swarming him like vultures to a carcass.
Twice heard a terrified scream.
He could not tell if it came from him.
XXXXXXX
"Damn it!" Dabi bellowed.
His fists pounded against the wall that he swore had not been there a second ago but no matter how hard he struck it, not a single crack appeared in the smooth tile and paint. He stepped back and lit his hand on fire before punching it, ignoring the chunks of mortar that stung his burning palm.
He forced his arm through the wall and then the rest of his body to find an empty hall and no Twice. He stepped over chunks of mortar and smaller pieces crunched beneath his shoes but he abandoned stealth, running through the halls with fire burning under his skin.
The halls of the hospital were impossibly big. There was no way they had been so winding when he first stepped inside. He turned a corner, another, a third, and found himself back at the wall he had just punched through.
He leaped through it and skidded to a halt as the floor stopped in front of him, leading to an abyss. It looked like the hallway had split apart, leaving a torn mass of concrete and wires wider than Dabi was tall. He could not see the top or bottom, and despite its position in the center of a four-story building there seemed to be no other visible floors.
"Hi Daaaaaaaaaaaabi~" A sing-song voice called behind him.
Dabi's eye twitched and he turned with a scowl. "What the hell, Twi—"
A hand hit the center of his chest, shoving him over the edge of the abyss. Dabi raised his hand to blast his attacker to ashes and faltered, spotting the familiar features beneath the dark blue hood.
Touya Todoroki stared down at him, grin too big for his face.
Then he was gone and Dabi was falling.
He blasted a jet of fire from his hands and hit the wall, fingers clinging to a protruding tile in an attempt to break his fall. It snapped in his grasp and he only managed to slow down a little as he plummeted into the depths of the hospital.
He hit the ground hard and heard something snap upon impact. The pain came a second later and he choked on a scream. He had suffered worse.
Dabi forced himself to stand, vision doubling, and when it cleared, Touya smiled back at him.
"It's really you!" the boy squealed, clapping his hands together.
The voice was too cheerful to be his past self. Touya Todoroki was never a happy child. He was quiet, and scared and hurt. Never happy. Never smiling at someone like they were the light of his world.
"What the hell are you?" Dabi snarled.
Touya cocked his head to the side childishly. "You don't know? I'm a ghost come back to haunt you!"
He wiggled his fingers with an immature giggle and Dabi's skin crawled at the wrongness of this warped, dead reflection. This Touya did not exist. He never had the chance to act childishly or make jokes, or giggle with the innocence of someone who did not know the true cruelty of the world. All thanks to Endeavor.
"It's so great to see you again! You were gone a long time. I missed you." Touya's smile vanished, replaced by a solemn look that felt much more real. "You became a Villain to kill Dad, didn't you?"
Despite knowing this was an illusion, Dabi found himself relaxing as they got into right territory.
"Yes." he said levelly.
Touya's expression crumpled. His lip quivered. His blue eyes— Endeavor's blue eyes— shifted to the side as they always did when he knew he was about to say something wrong but could not stop himself.
"I see." Touya sniffled, those blue eyes filling with tears. "So you're just like Dad then."
"NEVER!" Dabi roared, flames and blood spurting from his mouth and staples. "I'LL NEVER BE LIKE HIM!"
Touya did not flinch away from him, not even a little. He was not the slightest bit disgusted by the cobbled-together flesh of Dabi, as if his bleeding burns were as expected as a rising moon. Instead he still looked heartbroken.
"Then why?" Touya asked sadly. "Why don't you care about Mom or Natsuo or Fuyumi or Shoto at all?"
Dabi's mouth felt dry. He forced himself to swallow. "Quiet. You don't— That's not— You're not real."
The child's sorrowful look morphed into a nasty, mocking grin. "You're right. I'm not real. I'm a faker. A fake faker of what you could never be. Because you never cared about our siblings. You were never a good person. You're a selfish coward. The first chance you got, you left them with him."
The part of Dabi's chest that once held his heart stung. He ignored it. "I got out when I could—"
"And decided to become a Villain." Touya sneered. He threw his hands into the air, and Dabi finally saw himself in that warped reflection. "You abandoned your siblings. You tortured and killed Heroes. You burned innocent people to a crisp. Oh yeah, that'll show Dad! Congratulations, you became a monster just like he is." He glared accusingly at Dabi, expression twisted with utter loathing. "So what are you gonna do after burning him to ashes, huh? Keep on killing? Burn everyone who disagrees with you like he does? You gonna kill Mom and Natsuo and Fuyumi too cause they didn't do anything? I don't blame you." Touya's grin widened, revealing sharp teeth. "Fuyumi wants to forgive him, you know. Even after he murdered you. Shows how much she really cared: Not. At. All."
Dabi roared and threw a blast of flame, setting the hallway alight. Touya stood in the center of the inferno, eyes round with shock and fear as the flames closed in around him. Abruptly that fear faded, leaving a resigned, hollow stare.
"I knew it. You're just as bad as Dad. No, you're worse than him." Touya bared his teeth in a cold, unforgiving grin. "Dad's only hurt one family. How many families have you ruined?"
Dabi faltered and his fire went out.
Touya's grin widened victoriously and he exploded into blue flames. They filled Dabi's vision and although his instincts screamed, he did not bother to dodge—
He could not dodge. The Villain had an arm around his thin waist and a gun to his head as he screamed at Endeavor, daring him to try to stop him without burning his son. But the Villain did not understand. Endeavor did not give a damn about his children. He only cared about becoming Number One. Touya was expendable.
Touya felt heat wash across his face and shut his eyes. He knew it was going to hurt. It was going to hurt badly, as it always did, but this time he knew he would not recover. His Quirk responded to his terror and he ignited, his childish, fear-addled logic claiming that his own flames would protect him from his father—
THOOM.
The blue flames encasing him extinguished in a torrent of water.
Dabi spluttered and withstood the wave but the fake Touya vanished with a scream, fizzling out in a puff of smoke-like steam.
Dabi crumpled to his knees, continuing to cough smoke and water out of his lungs as the water around him sizzled. The flood faded to a trickle and Dabi wiped his hair out of his eyes, squinting at the burst pipes along the wall. Had the heat from the flames caused them to burst from the pressure or something?
He blinked and a black-clothed figure was looming over him.
Dabi jolted, trying to ignite, but he was soaked and shivering. The figure glanced up at his face and he caught a glimpse of a black mask under their hood before they turned back to his leg. Abruptly they tore Dabi's coat— ignoring his protest— and firmly tied his leg. The movements were practiced and professional, and Dabi slowly realized this must be a Pro Hero. He yanked his leg away from them and bared his teeth.
"Who the hell are you?"
The masked figure looked at him fully, revealing a nine-dot symbol on their forehead. Their unseen gaze sent a shiver down Dabi's spine, as if the weight of a thousand stares were upon him, all judging him and finding him lacking. They calmly grabbed his leg again, careful not to jostle it, and finished tying the splint around his calf. When they spoke, it was in the voices of men and women, elders and children, of dozens of souls speaking in total unison.
"We are…" they hesitated. "…an Ennea." They reached out and fearlessly grasped Dabi's hand, pulling him to his feet. "Come. We must save them."
Dabi yanked his hand free. "How do I know you're not another illusion?"
Ennea's mask faced him but Dabi could not tell if they saw him at all. "We already are a nightmare."
With that ominous statement, they tore the door off its hinges and entered through it, leaving the chunk of metal to fall to the floor.
Dabi had no choice but to follow.
XXXXXXX
Tokoyami knew why he had been taken to this brightly-lit maze of halls. He knew it with certainty, much like a man knew they were on their way to their execution. He was not afraid as he stood in a cage of endless white mortar with Dark Shadow clinging to his shoulders, almost too weak to float on his own.
Tokoyami had heard the screams.
He had seen the blood in the Nomu's teeth.
He knew Hawks was dead.
Now it was Tokoyami's turn to die, it seemed.
He was strangely calm about that, he noted distantly. Perhaps it was shock, or disbelief.
His skin felt cold, even beneath his feathers. Definitely shock, then.
Loud footsteps grew closer, slow and precise, and Tokoyami wondered if the Nomu could smell him. Or could it track him by hearing his pounding heart? Either way, it knew where he was and let him know it was there in turn. Mocking him, like a predator who knew its prey could not escape.
Tokoyami knew his limits. Dark Shadow was weakened, as was he— an exhausted and hungry teenager who was smaller than his enemy by at least two feet. He was not Midoriya, who could lift chunks of cement over his head with little effort. He was not Bakugo, whose combat capabilities expanded past use of his Quirk.
Hawks was dead. Kaetsu could not threaten him to keep Tokoyami in line. Tokoyami tried not to think about how Kaetsu might have threatened his life to keep Hawks in check.
Instead he acknowledged that he— Tokoyami, a teenager and first year student at UA— was alone, with only his Quirk with him. A Quirk who was so weakened he currently clung to his back out of exhaustion.
All Might himself struggled against a Nomu.
Hawks had died to one.
Tokoyami knew he would not survive a fight with this enemy.
Fifty yards in front of him, the Nomu that resembled his classmate rounded the corner and stopped.
Its empty white eyes met his red ones and it grinned at him with bloodstained teeth.
Tokoyami turned away from it and ran.
He ran as the Nomu screamed in glee and gave chase, using a Quirk that caused ripples of distortion to radiate through the air.
Tokoyami did not turn back to see what it was doing.
He just ran as fast as he could as stone and mortar shattered behind him.
XXXXXXX
A/N: The next chapter will be up between the 15th and the 17th-ish.
