Overwhelmed


"April, have you lost your appetite?" A nurse walked into AJ's room, "Your husband seems to be eating all of your food." She noticed, looking on at Punk sitting by AJ's bed eating some jello.

"I'm not hungry." AJ shook her head, "I'm just… tired all the time." She sighed.

"Perfectly normal with the medication." The nurse nodded, replacing AJ's water with a fresh jug, "How is the head feeling?" She asked.

"It's ok. Still painful I guess." AJ nodded, "I just wanna go home now." She admitted as the nurse nodded.

"Soon enough." The nurse smiled, leaving the room as AJ turned to Punk who she had been giving all her hospital food to which he was strangely enjoying.

"How's that jello going down?" AJ asked him.

"The orange is definitely my favourite flavour." Punk nodded, looking over at her.

"I feel like an invalid in here." AJ shook her head as Punk sat the jello pot down, sitting up on the chair, "I want to be in my own home. I want to be in my own bed." She sighed.

"They're only keeping you here as precaution. You should technically be allowed to come home soon. Within the next few days." Punk nodded, "And then you get me as your nurse." He smiled as she nodded.

"Will you put on the cute outfit?" She asked him.

"If you want me to." Punk nodded as she smiled.

"I miss the girls. What-What are they all doing? How is Jude with the baby? Is Cassie back at work yet? Did Thea get a house?" AJ asked him, "Whenever they come in they just fuss over me."

"They just wanna look after you." Punk assured her, "Jude's doing good. She's settling down well with the baby. I'm going to visit her tonight. Cassie hasn't heard back about her job but… I mean, she should soon. And Thea and Dominic got a house, they need to be out of Milwaukee by next week." He said.

"Who's gonna help them pack?" AJ asked, "You should go help them."

"No, I'm gonna stay here with you. Cassie's gonna help them." Punk nodded.

"I don't want you bound to my hip, Phil." AJ rolled her eyes.

"Well tough because I will be." Punk said, "I don't want any of your stubbornness. It is my job to look after you." He said, "And I take that job very seriously." He nodded as she smiled.

"So you're like my bitch?" AJ smirked to him as he laughed and nodded.

"Yeah, I suppose so." Punk nodded as she smiled.

"I just feel like a big inconvenience to everyone." She admitted.

"You're not an inconvenience, April." Punk said, taking her hand in his, "We almost lost you. I… I thought I'd lost you." He admitted as she looked at him, "And I got a glimpse into what life would be like without you and it… it fucking sucks." He shook his head as AJ smiled, "I also got a glimpse into what you dealt with whilst I was gone. Having to keep the girls calm. Having to be strong for them. I don't know how you did it. I could barely be strong for myself." He shook his head.

"I guess I just got on with it." AJ nodded, "You would too if you have to."

"I don't know if I could." Punk shook his head, "I don't know if I could live my life without you. Even the house felt different. I felt different." He said, "You're not allowed to leave me, ok?" He warned sweetly as AJ smiled, "I mean it, when we're ninety and we're on the way out, I'm dying first." He made clear as AJ laughed to herself.

"Phil." AJ chuckled a little.

"What? I am. I… I don't want a life without you in it." He shook his head as she smiled.

"I'm lucky I have you." She nodded as he smiled, kissing her hand, "Why do you think my parents came?" She asked him.

"I don't know." Punk shook his head, "I just know it wasn't from the goodness in their hearts." He said.

"Well obviously not." AJ knew that, "You think they need money or something?" AJ asked him.

"They're not getting shit from us." Punk shook his head.

"I don't have the energy to be mad or curious about it." AJ admitted truthfully. She knew if she was in good health she would have been livid to see her parents just randomly appear, but she was too tired to let it consume her right now.

"I met my dad." Punk told her as AJ turned to him.

"What?" AJ questioned.

"My dad. I… I met him." Punk said, "The other night when I was leaving here he just… showed up, right in front of me."

"Your dad?" AJ questioned, "Are you serious?"

"Yeah." Punk said, "Apparently Cassie came across some files in the station and tracked him down. Put the idea in his head than me and Dean wanted some answers." He shook his head.

"And do you want some answers?" AJ asked him.

"No." Punk shook his head, "No, I don't think so." Punk said, "It's just some guy. It's never gonna feel like… that's my dad. It's been too long." He shook his head.

"What's he like?" AJ wondered, "Is he hot?" She thought to herself.

"April." Punk scoffed.

"What?" AJ laughed, "I just always imagined your dad looking like a… like a lumberjack or something." She nodded as Punk shook his head, "With like a big ass beard."

"Well he's got a beard." Punk nodded, "Don't think he's a lumberjack, though." He said, "Actually he's been in prison for most of his life."

"Really?" AJ said, "What for?"

"Hit and run apparently." Punk shook his head, "He was in the same time as me."

"Oh my God." AJ raised her eyebrows, "So you… you could have bumped into him and you didn't even know it was your dad?"

"Well you don't just bump into people in prison." Punk said, "I… I don't remember him so I must not have been in his wing." He said.

"Still… that's kinda weird." AJ said.

"I haven't gotten the chance to talk to Dean about it." Punk said, "I was hoping he'd be here. I left the house and then I got here and your parents were standing out there. Can't catch a break." He shook his head.

"Don't you wanna know why he left?" AJ asked.

"I don't think I do." Punk shook his head, "Sure maybe when I was younger but… so much time has passed. What the hell is the point?" Punk said.

"He's still your dad." AJ said, "And it's ok if you wanna talk to him." She nodded. She knew her husband, she knew certain things he tried to avoid.

"I keep thinking about… nine year old me." Punk nodded to her, "What he deserved."

"What'd he deserve?" AJ asked him.

"The truth. To not feel like… his dad just walked because he didn't want him." Punk nodded, "But then… what if that is why he walked? Now it's just gonna be confirmation from the source."

"Maybe it is but… maybe there's also stuff you don't know. It might help you understand better." AJ said, "Look, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I'm not gonna force you. It's your decision." She said.

"I still don't know why Cassie thought I'd want this." Punk shook his head, "She is sneaky, you're right" He nodded to her.

"Her heart is good." AJ nodded, "Maybe she wanted to know about her grandfather too. What happened to him." She said, "It's never something we talk about with them. Our own parents."

"Yeah well Thea had it out earlier with your parents." Punk said, "She's just a big of fan of them as you are."

"That's my girl." AJ smiled tiredly.

"Your mom also called her a… prettier version of you." Punk said as AJ laughed a little.

"Of course she did." AJ smiled, amused. Her mother's words could no longer hurt her. Not anymore.

"Parents, huh?" Punk said, "Never thought we'd have those kinds of issues." He shook his head, itching his palms anxiously as AJ watched him.

"If you want to talk to your dad, you can." AJ said as he ran his hands through his hair, "It's your choice." She reminded him as he nodded.


Punk left the hospital later on that night, heading to Jude's house to visit her. He wished he could have split himself in half, to be there for his daughters and be there for his wife at the same time.

He knocked on the door lightly before walking on into the house, having brought some cupcakes which he knew Jude loved.

"Hey." Punk said quietly, "It's just me." He called. He knew better than to be loud when a newborn baby was around.

"Hey, man." Sean appeared coming out of the kitchen.

"Hey." Punk nodded, "Where's Jude?" He asked.

"She's asleep." Sean nodded, "I managed to convince her to lie down after Mirren fell asleep." He said, walking through to the kitchen as Punk followed.

"Well I can always come by tomorrow in the morning or afternoon." Punk nodded, sad he couldn't get to see Jude or Mirren, "Here's some cakes." He passed the box over to Sean who smiled and nodded.

"She'll have one of these for breakfast." Sean nodded, taking the box and sitting it over.

"How's the baby? She doing ok?" Punk asked as Sean nodded.

"Yeah, she's great. I mean, she had a bit of a rough night. Woke up quite a lot but… that's what happens, right?" Sean nodded.

"Yeah but… she'll get into a routine." Punk nodded, "How is Jude?" He asked as Sean nodded.

"Y-Yeah, yeah she's… she's good." Sean nodded, looking down as Punk watched him, "You want a drink or something?" He asked Punk.

"How is Jude?" Punk repeated, looking across at Sean who sighed a little.

"I'm kinda worried about her." Sean admitted.

"Why?" Punk asked, "What's wrong?"

"Well nothing is wrong." Sean said, "And it's… it's not Mirren. She's great with her." He said, "I think she might need to go back to therapy." He nodded.

"What makes you say that?" Punk asked.

"I can just see her slipping a little bit. I know she struggles regardless, but… she's not usually this vocal about it. I think she thought that having Mirren would distract her, it'd make her forget, and now that she knows it hasn't… I don't know, it's like she's disappointed." Sean nodded, "She feels like she should have moved on from it by now. That it should be fading." He said, "And there's only so much I can say without repeating myself over and over again."

"Look, Sean she's… she's just had a baby. She's sleep deprived, she's probably stressed, anxious about being a new mom." Punk nodded, "It can be a difficult time. Everyone always talks about how great it is, and it is for the most part but… it can be challenging." Punk nodded.

"I know and… and we can get through all of that but I just worry about her and what's going on in her head." Sean said as Punk nodded.

"I worry too." Punk nodded, "But she has you and Mirren now. You guys have a family. She's gonna have down moments but she'll pick herself back up. And maybe… maybe going back to therapy is a good idea." He said as Sean nodded.

"Yeah, maybe." Sean said, "I just hate that… she's always gotta live with it. I see it all the time. She still gets uncomfortable in public. We went out for dinner a couple months back and… we had to leave, it was like she was having a panic attack." He said, "I wish I could help her." He said as Punk sighed to himself and nodded.

"You are helping her. You're there for her when she needs you." Punk said, "We're all here for her. There's a chance that… this is all super overwhelming for her and it's… it's making her brain tick. But things will settle down." Punk assured him. He appreciated that his eldest daughters had partners who really cared about them.

"Yeah, I hope so." Sean nodded, "Sorry, I don't mean to involve you in… our business or whatever."

"Hey, I'm here for you guys. I know it's been a little crazy with April in hospital and everything that's been going on but… we'll get things back to normal." Punk said as Sean nodded, "Why don't you go sleep whilst Mirren is, I'll get out of here and come by tomorrow."

"Yeah… yeah, ok." Sean nodded, rubbing his face tiredly, "Thanks." He said as Punk nodded, leaving the kitchen and heading out of the house.

He headed towards his car about to open the door when he heard footsteps coming towards him.

"Hey." Dean nodded as Punk turned around.

"Hey." Punk turned to him.

"We gotta talk." Dean said, "About dad." He nodded, "There's a sentence I never thought I'd say to you." He said, patting Punk on the shoulder and walking around the car to get in as Punk sighed to himself.