Chapter 15

Leaving in the middle of the night wasn't ideal, she wasn't going to complain because she didn't really want to continue hiding in Orochimaru's hideout. However she would admit that she was saddened about leaving Team Taka but it was time she and Sasuke were on their ways. Sarada was snuggled against her chest in a secure little sling as they raced into the darkness. There was a happy smile on her lips as she followed Sasuke. There was no fear for her about Sarada's safety as she ran after her husband. Making their way through the forest Sasuke lead her to a little area he felt would be safe and stopped, it was near dawn now and they were both tired. Sarada was sleeping soundly and Sasuke was starting a small fire for her and Sakura.

"Well Sarada, welcome into the life of an Uchiha, officially, we travel a lot but your papa's always going to protect you and I'm going to always be here for you," Sakura whispered as she kissed her baby's black head.

"Sakura, you know she can't understand you right?" Sasuke asked sitting down beside her as she moved her clothes around so she could feed Sarada who was waking up a bit. The girl up almost instantly when Sakura was situated to feed her and before she knew what her daughter was doing the baby latched on and greedily fed. Sakura gasped in shock at her daughter's reaction but then settled back to be comfortable.

"Wrong, babies need stimulation and verbal communication, and affection to grow up into healthy, happy toddlers and into children," Sakura countered remembering what her own mother had so often claimed. Sasuke reached out and gave her a ghost of a touch as he slid a finger over her exposed breast. She fought off the shiver at his touch while she frowned at her husband. Sasuke said nothing but he pulled her into his lap then looked over her shoulder to watch their happy daughter who was suckling with glee.

"Why do you love me?" he whispered in a melancholy tone.

"Huh," she let her head fall back to look up at him. He wasn't looking at her as he watched the dawn and she smiled a bit as she pressed herself closer to him.

"Why do you love me?" Sasuke asked again in a more distinct tone as he held her and Sarada. "I don't love you, so why would you love me?"

"Love isn't something logical, I wished a million times myself that I knew why I loved you but I don't know why I just know I love you. If it were something I understood or knew I'd tell you. However, I can tell you this, I've almost always loved you and it's irrational but I loved you. also you should know that if I wanted to hear an 'I-love-you' then I'd have married Lee, or tried to make Naruto love me, or I'd have pursued Gaara but I never wanted love in return.

"I love you because I just do. There's nothing deeper than that behind it, I've always loved you, I'll always love you and if it was more complicated than that I'd tell you. I don't need love in return to be happy Sasuke, I just need to love you to be happy. It's painful at times, but I could live with it because Kami knows I did after you left, it could crush and kill me at times but even then I don't regret or hate loving you. It really isn't something I could control, because I've tried to control it." She smiled at the old memories gracing her mind at the moment.

"You know, I tried to fall in love with Naruto. This was after the first time you tried to kill me and had been laughing like a maniac the entire time. I used to have nightmares about that day, but wasn't even about you killing me or even me dying, they were about you and how lost you were and that hatred in your eyes. I also apparently feared you killing Naruto because the nightmare evolved that way. I'd scream through myself in front of Naruto and you'd kill me, every time I'd bolt awake and tell myself that you were lost, you weren't the Sasuke I loved but you were. you were always the man I loved no matter what I felt or thought.

"After those nightmares though I started trying to make myself fall in love with Naruto."

"You did what?" Sasuke hissed and she laughed a bit then muffled a moan as her baby sucked harder as if in retaliation for her comment.

"Yeah, I tried really hard to fall in love with Naruto. Would wake up and tell myself that he had gorgeous blonde hair, a handsome smile, beautiful eyes, he loved me, he'd never fail me, would never hurt me, would never kill me, but that didn't work. I'd see Hinata that day or later that week and feel guilty about trying to fall in love with Naruto because she had loved him for, Kami, she loved him forever." She smiled remembering her friend who she hadn't seen for almost a year.

"I even tried to fall in love with Lee, but he was too creepy and he was never more than a friend, and he was too obsessive and honestly, clingy. Really, really clingy with 'Sakura! I'll do anything please be my girlfriend!', it was strange to say the least.

"Then I tried to fall for Gaara, I figured I must be defective, or something and loved you for your wonderful personality," she mused and bounced her suckling baby then. "That didn't work, though you two are true asshats and cold jerks in personality; it didn't work. I realized then that I was forever in love with you and though you'd never love me in return or let me love you I'd love you and I'm happiest with you. It's nutty and irrational but I love you and I could never shake it. I loved you.

"I don't think you should worry about it because I love you Sasuke. It's that complicated and that simple, I love you and there is no rhyme or reason behind my loving you, it simply is. Sasuke, just accept it, I love you and that's it." She promised him as she leaned against him and lifted Sarada to burp her baby.

"You deserve better," Sasuke whispered.

"And you do too, so I guess we balance out," Sakura mused while Sarada burped.

It had been three hours since Sakura and Sarada had fallen asleep and he was on guard.

Sakura's loving him was something which was continuing to baffle him as sat guard over his wife and daughter. And it was something which had been bugging him because of something Suigetsu had said to him. But it had also piped his curiosity about his wife and why she loved him. Sighing he leaned back and then looked back to his wife.

Love was an unknown for him, he didn't think it was there for him, and he didn't even know what love was. But he had been curious about Sakura loving him so he had to ask the question that had been plaguing him since they left. He was shocked and pleased with her answer though he was furious to find out about her quest to fall in love with someone else. It was something which had twisted him up in knots and amused him all in the same breath. But in the end he was lucky he guessed.

And he was content, and probably the closest to happy he had ever been with her and Sarada with him. So he'd figure out if he loved her or not. Or he'd at least try because he figured he owed her that much. Sakura loved him, he knew she did so he figured it was only fair that he start trying to return the favor, because she was the only woman who had ever peeked his interest and intrigued him and made his heart race. He would try to love her, because she was the only woman he had ever been content with.

He only had until the day he died to figure this out and that was all the time he'd ever need.

The first time he had decided he was marrying her though was when she set that monster flying through the heat of a battle, earned her seal then flew after the monster to shatter the earth. Naruto had just about wigged out at her attack and he had been interested, he didn't know if that was love or not but he figured it was a good starting point. It also helped he and she had Sarada and were together, he was certain he could figure out this love thing. Smirking a little he looked down at her as he guarded her and a gurgling Sarada who grinned at him.

Perhaps he could make this work.

He hoped he could at least.