Chapter 11
The day Sakura left was bittersweet for both of them. Neither wanted to be the first to crawl out of bed and they ended up lying there until the last possible minute. When she grabbed her bag to get ready to leave, Kakashi had taken it from her and told her he'd like to walk her to the station.
"You don't have to do that." she said as she stepped up to him.
"I want too." he reasoned as he pulled on his boots before motioning her to follow him, "Plus, I should get some fresh air. I've been hiding away for the last week."
She couldn't really argue that fact and nodded as they got their coats on and stepped out into the cold November morning. The walk itself was refreshing as they slowly wandered the streets towards the train station. They idly chatted about how the weather was getting colder while she was getting ready to go enjoy the warmth of Suna.
"It may be warmer, but sand gets everywhere. I like the forests more simply because of that. I like experiencing every season too." she scrunched her nose up before she smiled as they stepped inside the station.
They found where she had to go and then suddenly heard the intercom as it announced that it was time to board the train. Sakura turned and smiled sadly at him before he smiled back and handed over her bag. Seeing him wear his mask was weird to her now, she thought. Knowing what that smile looked like was a secret she was glad she had.
"I don't want to go." she suddenly said as their eyes met.
"Go." he replied quickly, "I'll be fine. I'll survive."
'I really wish I could believe that…' she thought as she reluctantly nodded, 'I know you're putting on a brave face.'
After some more encouragement from Kakashi, she boarded and quickly found a window seat and peeked out to find him standing there with his hands stuffed into the pockets of his dark green jacket. His face lit up when he found her and their eyes met. Sakura couldn't stop the big goofy grin when he pulled a hand out to her and gave her a quick wave.
When she felt the train pull forward, the medic felt her stomach drop as she watched his smile fall away. She remained strong and smiled at him as she quickly winked and blew a kiss at him as she slowly pulled away. The last thing she saw was him winking back at her and she knew he had replied with his own kiss.
'I pray that he'll be okay…' she worried as she sat back into her seat and closed her eyes, 'He doesn't have to get better, but at least survive long enough for me to come home…'
She had been gone for ten days. The mission itself was not very difficult. Once she was in Suna they had figured out the issue within a couple of days and spent the remaining time trying to perfect the final antidote. The mission did push up a rank when the source of the poison was traced back to another problem both Konoha and Suna were facing, but besides that, it was easy for the pinkette.
Sakura clutched her bag to her chest as the train slowly rolled into the station in Konoha. She had been antsy from the moment she boarded earlier that morning. It was early evening now and she wanted nothing more than to be back home with Kakashi. He never once left her mind the entire time she was away. Praying that this time apart wouldn't cause any issues for him. Or at least detrimental issues.
The second the train stopped and the doors opened, she was already out and trying desperately not to run out of the station and towards the apartment.
'Please be okay…' her mind repeated the mantra with every step she took.
She arrived in record time as she ran up the steps to the second floor apartment and stopped in front of the door and took a couple deep breaths before opening the door. What would she find?
"I'm home." she spoke softly as she stepped in.
Sakura recoiled instantly as the smell of stale liquor filled her nose and instinctively dropped her bag. Her eyes fell on to a slumped over Kakashi and gasped when she saw the mess of bottles, including the seemingly empty one he was gripping still. She ripped off her coat and threw it onto the floor and turned on the light before she rushed over and dropped to her knees in front of the unconscious man. Every fear she had while away had become a reality.
"Kakashi!" she cried out as she grabbed him and tried to sit him back up from being on his side.
She didn't know how long he had been passed out and worried that he may have alcohol poisoning. Sakura shook his arms and repeated his name and sighed when his face twisted in discomfort from her voice in his ear.
"You're back…" he groaned as he finished sitting up and leaned back against the couch.
"What happened?" she asked as she looked around and tried counting the bottles around them.
There were easily twenty of them that she could see from her spot.
"I couldn't do it…" he mumbled and she looked back to him to find that he looked like he was in immense pain, "I couldn't be strong. I tried and I failed. I'm weak. Just go. Leave me alone."
The pinkette frowned as she stood up. He was right back at square one as she feared. Had all of his progress been thrown out the window? Why did he break so easily? Was she really the only thing that kept him rooted?
"I'm not going anywhere." she deadpanned as she walked into the kitchen and pulled out a trash bag from under the cabinet.
'It almost looks like the first time I was over here…'
He didn't reply and so Sakura took it upon herself and started walking around and picked up the mess of liquor bottles. Thirty five was the final count after she took out the overstuffed bag to the trash bin outside. Kakashi never moved once as she worked around him. When she came back in, she kicked off her boots and approached him cautiously. She knew she needed to choose her words wisely from here on out.
"When was the last time you ate?" she asked.
Silence fell between them for a few seconds before he took a deep breath and sighed.
"Can't remember." he mumbled, "Please leave."
She felt her heart break at both statements. It was exactly like the first night she came over. He was trying to push her away again. What happened while she was away? What broke him?
'It has to be the alcohol talking… He asked me to never leave… This isn't Kakashi.'
"No." she replied confidently as she looked him over.
It was obvious he hadn't shaved in days, let alone showered. It looks like he just sat there and drank himself into a stupor. He had to have lost some weight again as a result, she thought as she watched his lifeless eyes glance anywhere but at her. Sakura feared he may have damaged his liver with consuming so much again after not drinking anything for nearly a month.
"So annoying…" he bit out as he pushed himself forward and balanced his elbows on his knees and he buried his face into his hands.
Sakura swallowed thickly as he hurled the insult. She repeated that this wasn't Kakashi. Something was very wrong. This wasn't the same man that held her just last week and whispered sweet nothings as they laid in bed. This wasn't him. He obviously wasn't in control of his actions or words right now. What was controlling him? Why did the alcohol change him so much?
"Let's get you in the shower." she mumbled as she reached out and gently placed her hand on his forearm.
He slapped her hand away as he bit out another command for her to leave and she took a half step back before she finally felt annoyed. She was trying to be nice, but he was obviously too drunk to care. Kakashi dropped his hands away from his face as he attempted to stand and face her. She tried to reach out to him when he swayed and stumbled back, but he swatted her away at that attempt too.
"Don't touch me!" he growled as he brought a hand up to his face and roughly rubbed it, "Get out of my apartment. Get your stuff and leave."
Sakura bit the inside of her cheek to stop her from snapping back with a mean comment herself. She had to remember that the man she cared so deeply for was in there. She had to be patient. He was sick. She knew he was scared to be alone after she left and obviously this was what he was scared of.
"I'm not going anywhere." she calmly replied as she rooted herself in that spot, "When did you relapse? There were thirty five bottles and I was gone for only ten days. That's a lot. You picked up right where you left off, didn't you?"
The jounin swayed about as he tried to stay standing. It was obvious that he was completely wasted. She wanted to check him over and make sure he hadn't hurt himself, but there was no way he was going to let her that close right now. She needed to figure out a way to get him to quickly sober up so she could attempt to break through to him.
"You're so fucking annoying." he bit at her again with slurred words when he dropped his hand and looked at her, "You try so hard to come off as this helpful and sweet person, b-but you're not! You're a fucking hack. Just trying to take advantage!"
She sucked in a breath as he continued to insult her. He was trying to hurt her to force her to leave, but she wasn't going to let something so simple stop her from being there for him. She wasn't the naive girl like ten years ago, no. She wouldn't let harsh words get to her. The pinkette repeated the mantra of sticks and stones.
"You're selfish." he continued as he tried to make her leave and struggled to say each word clearly, "You don't care about anyone but yourself. You don't care about me… You only care about making yourself feel good for helping a man who simply wants to be left alone to die in peace. You are only here for the sex and the illusion of companionship. It's disgusting and I want you out. Now!"
Sakura didn't stop herself when she felt the rage consume her as she stepped forward and struck him across the face. The sound of the connecting slap echoed off the walls in the sparsely decorated apartment. Kakashi jerked and stumbled back a couple steps from the shock of it. Before she could react, he charged at her and shoved her back and pinned her against the wall next to the bathroom and bedroom doors. The pinkette forced herself not to react when she felt a stinging pain radiate from her shoulder from the impact.
She sucked in a breath when she felt a blade press against her exposed neck. He pressed the weight of himself into his left arm as he pushed into her chest and kept her pinned in place. She glanced up and found angry gray eyes staring at her with a deep frown marring his face.
"Why can't you ever just fucking listen?!" he yelled into her face and she had to stop her stop herself from gagging from the rotten smell of bad breath and liquor, "I told you to leave! Why won't you leave?"
"Because I fight for what I love!" she spat back as she fought back sudden threat tears.
Kakashi froze at those words. Did she just say she loved him? His mind was so foggy. The alcohol didn't help either. He refocused on her and found green eyes filled with tears angrily staring up at him. He felt as a wave of nausea overcame him suddenly, but swallowed thickly to keep it at bay.
'She's lying.' it finally spoke.
"You're lying." he spoke quietly.
"Why would I lie about loving you?" she replied in a shaky voice.
'She's tricking you.'
The voice had been tormenting him since the second she left. He finally caved in on the fourth day and bought five bottles. Then five more each day after. The voice went away after that. Well, it got much quieter. It wasn't as mean when he drank. This was its first real appearance because he had started to sober up. He hadn't let himself get this sober since that day. He couldn't remember anything, the days had blended together for him. He couldn't remember anything.
"Are you going to kill me?" she asked next.
He looked down at her in confusion. Why would she ask such a thing? He internally cringed as he felt a dull throb start in his head.
"No?"
"Then why do you have a kunai to my throat?" she asked in an eerily casual tone.
He jerked his eyes down and saw the kunai in his hand that was pressed firmly against her throat. Kakashi released his hold of the weapon and took a huge step backwards and away from Sakura. He kept his hands up as he watched the kunai clatter onto the wooden floor. He never realized he had pulled one out. He never realized he had pinned her against the wall.
'Was I really going to attack her?' his thoughts raced.
'You're only acting on what you want to do…'
He felt like he got punched in the gut when he saw the look of apprehension on her face. She had no idea what he was doing. He was suddenly hyper aware of everything. What had he done? What had he said to her? Why couldn't he remember when she had come home? Had they been fighting? Why?
He couldn't remember anything.
'Don't let her interfere.'
How long had he been like this? He remembered buying his liquor that morning and suddenly it was the evening? He stared down at his hands and found them shaking violently. How did he let it get this far? How weak really was he? He couldn't hide it anymore. He almost did some irreversible damage and he couldn't get out of this.
"I… I need help." he whispered as he met her eyes.
Sakura's face registered surprise when he spoke.
"Help me…" he whispered as he felt his knees grow weak and dropped to the floor, "Please… help me."
"Kakashi!" she called out and he felt her grab his shoulders to make sure he remained upright.
'Don't tell her… You'll never see the light of day again!'
He felt pain spread and his body seized and tensed up as he gasped. It was just like that day, he thought. The pain… it was the same.
He reached out to Sakura and he felt her hands grab his and before he knew it, she was embracing him. He let his face be buried into the crook of her neck as she tightly held him with her arms wrapped around his neck. He pulled her against him and hugged her close as he took a few deep breaths. The scent of her instantly calmed him down enough to gather his next words.
"I want it to stop." he mumbled as he hugged her impossibly tighter.
'Don't…'
Kakashi felt her turn her head and press a kiss into the side of his head as delicate fingers trailed into his hair.
"Tell me what it is that you want to stop." she whispered.
He couldn't find his voice as they sat in a tangled mess on the floor for a while. He noticed the evening sun that came in the window had slowly gone from the orange glow to blue hued darkness.
"The voice. I want the voice to stop."
Sakura stiffened momentarily and he regretted telling her. There was no going back now.
'You idiot!'
He feared the worst when she loosened her hold of him and sat back. He was surprised to see she was regarding him with curiosity rather than an angry or fearful expression.
"You're hearing voices?" she asked in a soft tone.
He shook his head and held up a single finger.
"Just one."
'You're ruining your life. She's never going to let you be a shinobi again! Kill her before she locks you up!'
He felt a phantom pain tear through his body at that demand. He twisted his face and felt as she grabbed his arm and called out to him.
"It's talking to you right now, isn't it?" he heard the medic ask quickly.
He quickly nodded as he kept his eyes screwed shut and squeezed her hand. The voice was screaming at the top of its lungs and he was barely holding on. He had never been more scared in his life than this. He had felt fear, but never at this scale. The things it was screaming. The things it was demanding he do. To her. To himself. It hurt. It hurt so much.
"Let's get you to the hospital." she said next and he felt like he got stabbed in the heart.
"No!" he basically shouted as he opened his eyes and stared hard at her.
Sakura was obviously taken aback by his sudden outburst. This was exactly what he had feared. He couldn't go get help there. They'd never let him return to duty. Not with how bad he was right now. Thirty years of active duty had taken its toll, but he wasn't ready to tap out yet. He just needed her to understand that.
"Kakashi…" she said, "You need help. I can't help with this just by myself. It's okay, they won't think any less of you. It's safe."
He just shook his head in disagreement. He wasn't ready to receive that kind of help. Not yet. The fact that he was opening up against everything that was literally screaming at him to not tell her.
"I can't…" he spoke so quietly that she had to lean in to hear him, "I just can't."
Sakura pursed her lips as she nodded. She wasn't going to force him like he thought. She understood that he wasn't ready. He watched her glance down to their hands that were conjoined and start running her thumb back and forth over the top of his hand.
"But, you still want help right?"
Green eyes met his again and he could see she was trying so hard not to cry. She was trying to remain strong for him so he could be weak at this moment. He nodded as he took a couple deep breaths.
'I have to be strong.'
'You're weak! Pathetic! You have to rely on others to make sure you survive. You are scum. End it. End it! End it now!'
He tensed up at the insults from the voice and felt his head throb painfully. He felt her shift in place and a small hand cup his cheek. Sakura knew the voice spoke again and was determined to show him that it was okay to hear it.
"Then let me bring help to you. You don't have to go anywhere."
'The bitch is going to get people to take you away!'
He looked at her with a half questioning, half concerned expression. She saw his worry and squeezed his hands to help calm him.
"Let me go get Ino. She's a medic. I trust her. She can help us."
'Us.'
"How can she help?"
It was refreshing to see such a happy smile come from her then.
"She's a Yamanaka." she said confidently, "Her jutsus should be able to help. At least help figure out what's causing the voice. She's been wanting to start using the clans jutsus for things like this over information gathering anyways."
He felt a small sliver of hope run down his spine at that.
"She prides herself on knowing the jutsus so well. I can give her a basic rundown of what's wrong, she doesn't need to know all the details. She can come here and do it so you don't have to leave. We can figure out what needs to be done from there." Sakura explained further.
'Are you really going to let a random person root around inside your head? See the broken pieces of you? She could ruin your name!'
Kakashi gritted his teeth as he forced himself not to react. His head was throbbing painfully at this point. He was sobering up and all his other issues of no sleep or eating were catching up. He looked back up to her and nodded in agreement. Her face lit up with that and she started to stand up, but before she could get far, he reached out and grabbed her arm.
"But not tonight."
Sakura looked confused as she turned and looked back to him.
"I don't want her to see me… like this." he added on as he half motioned to himself
He felt a little self conscious as she quickly checked him out before she nodded in understanding. He probably looked and smelled a mess.
"Let's get you cleaned up and rested then." she replied with a reassuring smile, "Are you sure you'll be okay until the morning?"
He nodded as she helped him stand up. He felt his body sway as blood rushed to his head and felt dizziness overcome him. The headache had easily turned into a migraine and he stopped himself from throwing up suddenly. The jounin felt her snake an arm around his back as she pulled him against her side to make sure he didn't fall over.
"Yeah." he grunted as he brought a hand up and rubbed his face, "You're home now… I'm safer."
He peeked down and found her smiling warmly up to him. He was being honest with her about feeling safer. He wouldn't become so overwhelmed that he'd break down instantly now.
"What do you want to do first?" she asked, "Shower? Food?"
"Shower." he replied instantly, "I need something for my head though. Massive hangover."
Without another word, Sakura guided them quickly into the bathroom and she grabbed something from the medicine cabinet and handed him a couple of pills that he quickly took and swallowed dry.
"Here, hold still for a second." Sakura spoke softly as she raised her hands and placed them on each side of his head.
She concentrated as the green chakra emitted from her hands and started to help reduce the severity of his hangover as she filtered some of the alcohol out of his system. She smiled when he relaxed and made a sigh of relief from the help she was giving him. A few minutes later, she was stepping in behind Kakashi as they got into the shower.
"When was the last time you showered?" she asked as she watched him step under the spray of hot water.
Kakashi grabbed his shampoo and she smiled again as she watched him quickly scrub the grime and oil away.
"I can't remember…" he mumbled as he dipped his head under the water and rinsed his hair.
Her smile fell as she grabbed the wash rag and poured a liberal amount of his body wash onto it before lathering it up and pressing it into his back as she made slow circles up and down the entire length of him.
Coming home to find him like this was heartbreaking. But when he said he was hearing a voice is when reality hit her. His mental illnesses were much worse than she initially thought. He wasn't in control as much as he wanted to be. She knew his anxiety, depression, and PTSD were bad, but she never could have comprehended it had festered to the point that it manifested into a voice.
'We're going to figure this out…' she thought as she nudged him to turn around so she could wash his chest and abs, 'He asked for help. I will do everything in my power to help him.'
"How was your mission?" he asked as she took his arms and trailed the soapy rag along..
She smiled up to him as he rinsed off and they switched spots so she could quickly wash up.
'It looks like he lost some weight again…' she noticed when she looked at his chest.
"Successful." she confirmed, "The mission got bumped up to S rank half way through after some information was discovered about the origin of the poison."
Kakashi had grabbed her loofah to help wash away her grime from the journey home and was running it over her shoulder when she said that. He paused and looked up to her with clear concern.
"There was no combat." she quickly added, "The poison is connected with another issue outside the mission. We successfully created an antidote for this strain and they're working on the older strains now."
She watched his shoulders release the tension and they continued the remainder of the shower in peace. When they stepped out, he wrapped a towel around his waist and quickly started to brush his teeth as she wrapped a towel around herself and headed to the bedroom.
'He already looks like he feels a million times better.' she mused as she walked over to her side of the bed, 'Just need to get him to eat something and we can go to bed.'
She dropped the towel and started to put on her lotion. She looked at the bed and saw the blankets and pillows thrown about. She made a mental note that she would wash them in the morning as she eyed her pillow on his side of the bed. Her bottle of perfume caught her eye as it sat on his nightstand and quirked a brow up.
She turned and went to the dresser and pulled out some of her clean pajamas and pulled them on before she walked over to his side and picked up the bottle and examined it. She glanced back down to her pillow and picked it up and quickly sniffed it and confirmed her suspicion.
'He sprayed my pillow… He really did miss me, didn't he?'
She smiled to herself as she tossed her pillow back on her side and walked back over and picked up her towel and put the perfume on her nightstand. She was right to remain firm earlier when he told her to leave. She knew that wasn't him. He had managed to break out of whatever was trapping him and it looked like he was slowly coming back.
Kakashi walked back into the bedroom as she exited and smiled when she found he had shaved off his scruff.
"You look a million times better." she sang as he regarded her with warmth.
"I feel a million times better." he replied honestly with a small smile.
She stood on her tippy toes to kiss his clean shaven cheek, but he quickly turned his head and kissed her deeply. She smiled into the kiss before she leaned back. It was their first kiss since she returned home and she forgot how dizzy he made her feel.
"I'll go make us something to eat."
He nodded as she stepped past her into the room while she quickly ran into the bathroom and threw all their dirty clothes and towels into the washer and started a load. The rest of the evening was quiet as she made them a small and simple dinner.
There wasn't much for food left after she had been gone for over a week and a half. She used the last of the eggs and made them some basic omelettes and rice. Kakashi shovelled everything down and drank a couple glasses of water in record time.
'He must've been so hungry…' she thought as she cleaned up their dishes and the others, 'I wonder what that voice tells him.'
She turned around and found him hunched over with his elbows at the table and his face pressed into his hands and grew worried. She knew it had to be the voice she thought as she quickly dried off her hands and stepped over to him.
"It's talking, isn't it?" she asked tentatively as she laid a gentle hand on his shoulder.
Kakashi just nodded as he sighed before he ran his hands through his now dried hair. She pursed her lips before she slid her hand up and encouraged him to turn and face her. She leaned over and pressed her forehead against his and looked him in the eye.
"I know I can't hear what it's saying, but I do have a message for you and it. That is, if you'd let me tell you?"
His eyes widened at her request and she felt him nudge his head as he silently gave her the okay. Sakura pulled back and stood straight as she smiled down to him.
"You're not the weak one, Kakashi. The voice is the weak one."
He blinked a couple times as her words sank in. She could tell he was feeling loads of things at once as his face flickered through a range of emotions. She reached out and offered him a hand then. She didn't need him to reply. She just wanted him to know that it wasn't his fault for feelings how he felt.
'I love him too much to see him suffer like this.'
She slowly realized that all the times that he looked off was because of the voice. His excuses of being overwhelmed and tired weren't just that. That voice had been tormenting him and he remained silent about it. Why had he never told her? Why did he let himself suffer for so long? When exactly did this voice start? Did it have a connection with his drinking? Sakura had so many questions, but couldn't get the answers right now. She had to be careful and delicate with her approach.
She was barely in bed before she felt him roll and his arm loop around her and pull her closer. She smiled as she cozied up to him and laid her head on his shoulder and rested her hand on his chest.
"I haven't slept here in days." he revealed as she felt him release a content sigh, "There were too many reminders of being alone."
That statement confirmed her other lingering question. Her absence had affected him to the point that he couldn't sleep in his own bed.
"I noticed you had sprayed my pillow." she mumbled.
She felt the arm wrapped around her shoulder give her a reassuring squeeze.
"It helped the first couple nights…" he explained, "You didn't feel as far then and I could get at least a few hours of sleep."
It hurt her to hear him talk about how he struggled in her absence.
'I never should have gone on that mission…'
"I'm home now." she said as she slid her hand around him and hugged him, "I'm not going anywhere for awhile."
They laid there for a while and she thought he had fallen asleep from how his breathing slowed down, but when he suddenly spoke it broke his heart.
"It keeps telling me to kill you. To kill myself."
'Oh god…'
"It's not letting you rest?" she asked the obvious question.
She glanced up to him when he shuffled in his place and found his was staring up at the ceiling angrily.
"It never has. It's why I could never sleep before. It's the cause of my nightmares. It's the cause of everything." he spoke bitterly.
Sakura couldn't stand to hear it anymore and made to sit up and looked back down to him. He answered a couple of her silent questions.
"What can I do to help?"
He watched Sakura for a moment before he smiled back.
"Just be patient with me." he requested.
It was really all he could ask of her right now. She was already going to help him immensely with getting Ino involved. He was scared shitless about that, but he could trust Sakura. She had never given him any reason to not trust her. Ino worked in the Intelligence division for the village alongside her husband Sai, who was a lead captain for anbu. The woman took her job seriously when it came to things like this.
Sakura nodded to him before her face lit up and she scrambled off the bed. He sat up and watched in confusion through the dark room as she opened up a dresser drawer and rifled through it before she pulled out a fat scroll.
"This is my personal stash of things I've created over the years." she informed him as she came back and sat the scroll down on her night stand and quickly ran out of the room.
He looked at the large scroll with curiosity.
'She's collected every single thing she's made over the years? Is it all her potions and antidotes or other stuff too?'
His mind briefly flashback to her super soldier pills she made when he was training Naruto with his Rasengan and felt his shoulder shudder at the memory of the awful taste.
'Maybe she'll kill you. Don't take anything.'
He ignored the voice as the noise of Sakura opening the bedroom pulled him back to reality. She had gotten a glass of water he saw as she went back to her side of the bed and turned on the bedside lamp.
"Everything I've ever created since the war and my experiments too are in this scroll. I keep a sample and quick notes with ingredients." she explained as he watched her pick up the slightly oversized scroll, "It allows me to quickly reference things and to help quickly if needed."
"And you just keep it casually tucked away in the dresser?" he couldn't help but voice that concern.
Sakura held the scroll out away from her body and he heard a pop come from the scroll before steam emitted from it.
"I'm not dumb, Kakashi. It has a chakra signature seal." the medic deadpanned, "Only my chakra signature can open it. If anyone, even you, tried to open it, it would set itself on fire and destroy itself and the contents."
He could only nod as he watched her unroll it and start reading through it. Of course it was a sealed scroll. Sakura wasn't dumb and he felt a bit shameful for doubting her abilities. The fact that she managed to keep a detailed inventory of her years of saving lives was amazing. She had a vast knowledge that she wanted to preserve and be able to help others in the future. The more he thought about it, the more he admired her abilities.
"And I have to emit a specific amount of chakra to open it and another different amount to take anything out of this. If I was captured and they tried to force me to open it, I would just put the wrong amount in and destroy it myself." she added as he watched her place a hand over a seal and watched a puff of smoke jump out and a pill bottle and a small scroll appear.
Sakura smiled proudly as she looked at the bottle and quickly put it down as she read through the accompanying scroll.
'You're really going to let her drug you? You already like her control you and now you'll be docile pet? Pathetic! You're weak! Useless!'
"What are you going to give me?" he asked a simple question.
Sakura reached down and grabbed the pill bottle and tossed it to him with a smile.
"Sleeping pills." she said confidently as he examined the little green pills in the bottle, "Since you're having issues, this should help you rest better."
There were only seven pills in it.
"Sleeping pills?" Kakashi parroted back as he looked back up to her, "How are these different from the ones you can get at the pharmacy?"
He watched her roll up the scroll and reseal it before returning it to the dresser drawer as he spoke.
"They're specially made for shinobi who have sleeping issues." she spoke softly as she sat at the edge of the bed and grabbed the glass of water and offered it to him, "They're very strong and effective. It should only be used in times of desperation."
'Don't take them.'
'I trust her more than you.'
He nodded as he opened the bottle and let a single green pill fall out onto his palm. Kakashi glanced up to her and she nodded as she held up her free hand and singled that he only needed one pill. He took the glass of water and without a second thought popped the pill into his mouth and drank half the water in one go.
"I should've asked how effective it is." he mumbled as he turned as sat the pill bottle and water on his night stand.
It was then he felt a rush of drowsiness hit him and hunched forward to stop himself from falling off the bed.
"Very effective." he heard her voice and felt her hand on his left arm as it pulled him towards her, "Lay down."
He scooted down and basically flopped back against the bed as he struggled to keep his eyes open.
"Just relax." she spoke quietly, "I'm not going anywhere."
He blinked over and watched her pull the blankets over him. His vision became pink as he felt her hair brush against his face. He was so tired. Sakura pressed a few kissed along his cheek and he felt himself smiling at the affection.
"Sleep tight, my love." were the last words he heard her say as he quickly fell asleep.
A/N: There is A LOT to unpack here, my goodness. The long awaited chapter where he FINALLY opens up about what's wrong. Anti-climatic? Probably. Realistic? I hope I delivered there. Mental health isn't always glitz and glam and filled with drama like TV/movies show, so I hope I can give a more subdued real feel towards it in my writing.
Please leave a review if you can. You feedback and insights are some of the most in-depth on any of my stories, hehe.
Thank you as always to Taytay95 for being a rocking beta.
