Remus grumbled and grouched as he, Sirius, and Peter went up to their dorm room to fetch James's cloak. He kept repeating that he didn't think it was a good idea. "There are loads of other things we could do to the Slytherin dorm!" he hissed out as they reached the corridor leading to the Fat Lady. "Safer pranks."

"You said so yourself it'll just knock'em out," Peter said. "Sprout told you that you were right."

Remus sighed, giving up. They got James's cloak from his dresser then headed back down through the castle, the cloak folded into one of Sirius's robes pockets. They went outside while everyone else was at supper except for the Gryffindor team who was out at the pitch. Sirius, Peter, and Remus headed around towards the greenhouses, going a little slower as they approached but none of the doors were open. Remus couldn't hear any voices nearby.

"If we are doing this," grumbled Remus, "then one of us should go in while the other two wait over there. If anyone decides to come to the greenhouses they most likely will be approaching from that direction. The two can essentially be guards." He didn't add that he'd prefer to be a guard. He had gotten freaked out enough when he went in the other day, when Hagrid nearly caught them.

"I'll go in," Sirius said; Peter let out an audible sigh.

Sirius pressed his hand against his pocket, eyes darting around before he went off towards some bushes. Remus and Peter backed away towards the spot Remus had pointed out, near the corner of the castle. Remus leaned against the wall while Peter pulled out a small rubber ball, bouncing it off the stone, dropping it more often than catching it. Remus tried his best not to look towards the greenhouse, making vague conversation with Peter.

"What do we say if anyone does come by?" Peter asked.

Remus saw out of the corner of his eye the door to Greenhouse Three opening and shutting. "We're waiting for James," he replied, folding his arms. "I meant to ask you, by the way; are you joining photography club?" The clubs had started putting up their notices the day before, advertising for new membership; Peter had been standing in front of the one for photography for ages.

His hand jerked, the ball hitting the stone pretty hard. It flew off across the grounds. "Oops."

Remus got his wand out. "Locomotor ball." He pulled it back, having to redo the spell once since the ball was rather small and kept getting caught on things. "I really need to work on learning the summoning spell..."

"I—I dunno," Peter mumbled, going over to get the ball when it came close enough. "Probably not."

"You should. You're talented."

"I dunno," he repeated, twisting the ball around in his hands. "Would you join with me?"

Remus snorted. "I am quite crap at taking photos. Maybe Sirius will, he's artistic. Hey, set the ball down again, I want to try something." Peter obeyed and Remus straightened up, licking his lips as he got into a stance. "Accio ball!" He felt the magic surge through him, saw the spell hit the ball however nothing happened.

"Aw, try again?" Pete suggested. Remus tried a couple more times and after another minute or so he managed to get the ball to twitch. "When do we learn that spell?" he asked as he picked the ball up.

"Next year," Remus replied, wiping the sweat from his forehead then automatically turned as he heard faint footsteps in the grass. "Did you get it?"

"How did you know I was there?" whispered Sirius's disembodied voice.

Remus did his best to keep his face calm. He was getting too slack around his friends! "I—I saw your footsteps in the grass."

"You were facing the other way," Sirius accused. "But yeah, I got it."

They went inside, to a secret passage where Sirius took the cloak off. He opened his bag to show the potted mandrake. Peter gave a squeal, clapping his hands. "Slytherins gonna get it!" he giggled.

Sirius grinned, giving Pete a high five. "It's gonna be great."

"We are just doing it to Mulciber, Avery, and Bulstrode's dorm, correct?" Remus asked, shifting his weight around.

Now Sirius rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we won't be pranking your stupid friend."

"Silverlocke is not stupid—"

"Anyway!" Sirius closed his bag then tucked James's cloak into his pocket. "Mission accomplished. I'd say this is grounds for a major award. Let's get some food from the kitchen, I don't want to sit in the Great Hall right now."

They ended up back in their dorm, food spread out on Sirius's bed. They chattered away about nothing in particular until Remus nudged at Peter. Peter kept giving him strange looks, not getting it, so Remus sucked in some air. "Hey, Sirius? Would you join Photography club with Pete?"

Sirius paused, food halfway to his mouth. "Photography?"

"It's n-nothing!" Peter said quickly. "Remus is just being dumb."

"Naw, what is it?" Sirius set his half-eaten sandwich down.

Peter glared at Remus who pretended like he didn't notice. "I just—well, Photography club is open for, um, for second years and up. Remus... thought I might like it but..."

"Your pictures are bloody brilliant!" Sirius said earnestly. "You should join."

Pete began blushing. "I—I don't know..."

"He doesn't want to do it alone," Remus put in. Peter adjusted his position so he could kick at Remus, his socked foot landing a soft blow against Remus's leg who scooted away, smiling.

"I'm not that into cameras—well, I am but more on the opposite side," Sirius laughed as he struck a pose. "But sure. I'll go with you, at least to one." He stuffed the entire half sandwich into his mouth. "Ain owi i ay oh."

Peter squinted. "Um. What?"

Sirius chewed and swallowed. "Can't promise I'll stay, though. When's it start?"

Remus doubted Peter knew however he surprised them by scurrying over to his bed, fetching a copy of the advertisement out from a desk drawer. "Wednesday evening," he said, returning to show off the bit of parchment. "From six-thirty to seven-fifteen."

Sirius made a face as he read the paper then dropped it back into Peter's lap. "Yeah, I'll go with you."

Peter beamed while Remus gave him an I-told-you-so look. Pete just kicked him again. "Stop looking so smug."

"He's a know-it-all, he can't help it," teased Sirius. "Are you going to join any clubs, Brains?"

Remus stuck his tongue out. "No. I don't have time. Besides, study group might as well be a club. Speaking of which..." He checked the clock over the door then slithered off of Sirius's bed to gather books up. "I better get going. Make sure you put the mandrake in a very safe place. We should probably do this tomorrow, since we can't keep the poor plant locked away from the sun for much longer."

He got his shoes back on then hurried through the castle to the library, a little nervous at the thought of meeting someone new. Even a first year. She was already there by the time he got to their usual table, sitting on the opposite side of Lily—between Lily and Twycross. Remus felt a little relieved as he took his usual seat between Lily and Silverlocke.

"Everyone, this is Mary Macdonald," Lily said when Buckling and Craft showed up about ten seconds later. Lily then introduced everyone at the table, finishing with 'my good friend Remus Lupin' which made Remus feel pleased.

Macdonald was a Chinese girl with long hair and enormous eyes. Remus immediately could tell she was a timid sort, shrinking back, staying as close to Lily as possible. "H—hi," she whispered.

"Welcome to our study group," Pierce said with a smile. She leaned across the table to offer her hand which Macdonald nervously shook.

"Is it really okay for me to be here?" Macdonald asked, her Scottish accent quite thick, glancing around at everyone. "I mean, since I'm just a first year?"

"Of course it is," Lily said firmly, shooting a look towards first Twycross then Craft, both of whom remained silent.

"So how are we doing this?" Craft finally asked. "Since she's studying stuff we aren't."

"I was thinking we could go over our homework like we always do," Lily said, sticking her chin out. "Mary included. Then, er, go from there."

It was a little awkward at first since Craft launched into rather complicated explanations of the assignments they were doing, purposely making it sound more confusing than it really was. Macdonald looked even more terrified while Lily just shook her head. When they got to Macdonald's homework she nervously asked questions, blushing once when Twycross snorted at a rather simple question. Remus grew very annoyed. He didn't really like Twycross or Craft and their attitude towards Macdonald really cheesed him off. Remus did his best to be clearly on her side but with as much as he stammered it was difficult.

Afterwards as they headed back to their common room Lily apologized to Macdonald. "It's all right," she replied softly. "I think it's better if I don't come after all. It is a little silly when you're all... more advanced." She looked ahead at Twycross's swishing ponytail. "Plus I think a couple of your friends aren't happy with me."

"They're not really friends, not those two," Lily confessed. "We all just sorta grouped together last year. I don't mind the rest of the group. Sometimes I wish we could just kick Craft and Twycross out." Lily looked at Remus who smiled back, privately agreeing. "Hey, if you don't want to come back that's fine. I can help you."

"Really?" Macdonald perked up.

"Of course," Lily promised.

"I c-c-can help t—too," Remus said. "We've g-got plenty of t-time after c-c-curfew anyway."

"I don't like curfew, it's so early," sighed Macdonald, kicking at the floor.

"I know what you mean," agreed Lily. "In the winter it's not as annoying since it gets dark so early but this time of the year it'd be nice to be able to stay outside."

"Isn't yours later than mine?"

"Yeah, by an hour. Still seems too early..."

"In our f-fourth it will b-be nine pm," Remus said. "Then in—in our sixth it's ten-thirty."

They got to the common room, climbing through the hole which Remus fell through. Lily helped him up while Macdonald made a comment about the hole being so difficult to get through, wondering about anyone who might be physically disabled. "Are there even any students who use wheelchairs?" she asked. "Can—can they come to Hogwarts? My mum, she—she uses a wheelchair and she'd never be able to come here."

"Not wheelchairs, but something similar," Lily said, searching the common room then nodding to a corner where some older students were hanging out including a boy who couldn't walk. The chair he was in looked mostly like a regular armed chair but it had several strange looking things folded up around the bottom. "Their chairs have something like spider legs instead of wheels, so they can climb up and down the stairs. I think I've also read about floating chairs, but I think for getting around Hogwarts it's easier to have the spider legs."

Macdonald stared at the contraption in amazement then quickly averted her gaze. "That sounds kinda creepy but also cool. So... magic can't fix everything?"

Remus felt slightly embarrassed as Lily very swiftly glanced his way then just as swiftly back at Macdonald. "No, not everything."

Macdonald noticed the glance too but seemed too polite to ask, and Lily realized what she had inadvertently done and went brilliantly red. Remus didn't know what to do. It seemed awkward to just offer up that he was sick. He knew he looked sick. He just didn't want to explain Lily's glance, to say the words he was sick to a perfect stranger. He almost did... felt like he should, like he had to. Then bit back the words and said instead, "But, um, y—yeah, as Lily s-said we'll h-help you with your assignments." Besides, she'd figure it out soon enough when he disappeared for a few days, if she was going to be present in his life at least occasionally in the evenings.

Just then to cut into the uncomfortable silence there was a very loud explosion. The three of them jumped, turning to see some fireworks zinging around the room. Students yelped, ducking, a few diving to the floor.

"Three guesses to where those came from," Lily snapped.

Remus just smiled, tugging his bag higher on his shoulder. "I'll s-see you l-later." He hurried to the corner where a prefect was chewing out the other Marauders.

/\/\/\/\/\

He was wandering in the forest while Lily's voice echoed around him, Magic can't fix everything! He heard someone crying. Maybe Lily. He prowled among the trees, panting for blood. The crying became louder. He came into a clearing where Sirius and Peter were unconscious from the crying mandrake. It didn't hurt Remus's ears since he was a wolf. He went over, bending down to bite into the mandrake but then when his teeth crashed through the plant, blood—human blood—spurted out and he had bitten into Peter's arm instead of the mandrake. Magic can't fix that either! Lily's voice floated out of no where. What are you doing?! demanded another voice. Remus spun around to see James holding his broom which was entirely silver. Remus was human now, Peter's blood dripping out of his mouth. I c-c-c-can explain! Remus cried out, holding out bloody hands in a pleading manner. James lifted his broom which had gone very pointy at the end. Sorry, little buddy, he said then jammed the silver spear through Remus's chest.

Remus woke up with a loud "NO!" then a choking sort of sob. "D-didn't... mean to..." He grabbed for his chest, pressing his fingers against his pajama top to feel for the hole. Then he hunched forward, covering his face with his hands as the clinging remnants of the dream faded, leaving him back fully in reality.

Tap-tap-tap.

Remus remained silent. His 'no' had been louder than he thought.

"Remus?" Sirius whispered. The curtains twitched back and Remus looked up at his friend. "You all right?"

"F-fine," Remus lied as Sirius hopped up onto the bed, shutting the curtains so they wouldn't wake anyone else up. "I'm okay. R-really." This again, for the millionth time.

"What didn't you mean to?" Sirius asked gently.

Remus frowned. "I don't r-remember. I—I don't know wh-what I was dreaming about." He could still taste the blood in his mouth. Could see Peter's destroyed arm. He was glad it had been Peter's arm he had bit; if it had been Sirius's then he wasn't sure he'd be able to handle talking to him right now.

"You're shaking."

Remus looked at his hands then drew his legs up, wrapping his arms around his knees. "S'fine."

"It isn't cause of the mandrake, is it?" Sirius asked causing Remus to jerk his head up, a touch afraid that Sirius somehow knew part of his nightmare. "You seemed pretty anxious about it earlier."

"Oh. Oh, no, th—that's not it." He didn't want to admit the mandrake had affected his dream. "Erm, I—I'm feeling all right. I am. You—you d-don't need to stay up with me."

"Okay..." But Sirius didn't budge. "Can we... talk... about—about something?" Remus just waited, suspecting that Sirius wanted to talk about his sickness and sure enough after a few seconds Sirius went, "About what you have?"

"I d-d-don't want to."

"Okay," he said again. "I just... I mean... you said before it... it isn't fatal... right? I just want to... be double sure that's, uh, that's what's been said."

Remus felt a little bit bad for being so annoyed with his friend over his pushiness if that's what he was so concerned about. Unfortunately he couldn't remember what he said about this. He was pretty sure he said it wasn't... yet. Right? Ugh, he really needed to write down all the lies he said so he could keep them straight. "I-I'm not going to die anytime soon, if th—that's what you're worried about," he finally said.

Sirius went white. "It is fatal," he said flatly. "Merlin's beard."

"No—I meant—" Remus tried not to swear, tried not to panic. "I'm fine, right now. I promise."

"Right now?"

"It could get worse," he babbled, clutching his hands together to prevent them from shaking even more than before. What had he said exactly?! He thought he said it wasn't though it could be, right? He wracked his brain for any memory but they just slipped away. He wished he could look into his own head. Or into Sirius's. What he wouldn't give to be able to do Legilimancy right now, even if it was completely morally wrong to do so. "Look, I'm fine. Okay?" Sirius was giving him a strange look that didn't seem to be concern or worry which sent Remus into even more of a panic. "I don't want to talk about it!" he snapped, his voice strained.

"Okay," Sirius said once more. "I didn't mean to upset you. I shouldn't have pushed."

"You know I d-d-don't like—"

"Yeah, I know, I shouldn't have," Sirius said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I guess I get so worried I don't think about what I'm saying."

"How is that different from any other time?" Remus teased.

Sirius grinned, nudging Remus with his foot. "Too true. You know... it's interesting."

"What is?"

"Just... how much you've changed." Sirius propped himself up on his hands, leaning back, the grin broadening. "This time last year you mostly just babbled incoherent nonsense and ran away from me crying."

Remus glared then kicked Sirius's leg, although he had teased Sirius so turnabout and all that. "Well, I still want to run away from you crying so..."

Sirius laughed. "You're also a lot sassier than I ever thought you'd be."

Remus crinkled his nose a little, his father's lecture coming back to him, though he remembered Sirius calling him that before. "I'm not sassy."

Sirius's eyebrows arched high. "Merlin, Remus, you're sassy."

"I am not."

"Okay, okay," Sirius said, obviously not believing him. "Whatever it is you are, I never expected it of you. But it's not a bad thing. Honest."

Remus scowled now, shifting into a cross-legged position so he could tug at a loose thread sticking out of his pajamas. "Why are we even having this conversation at... what time is it?"

"Um, around three?"

"Three in the morning?"

"I dunno."

Remus let out an annoyed sound. "You're the one who brought all this up."

"All right, well, I thought if we talked about other stuff it might be easier for you to go to sleep," Sirius replied rather icily. Remus just looked at him. "When... when, um, I have nightmares... if I think about them before I try to go back to sleep I tend to have more nightmares. I just thought if we chatted about other stuff, you—you might be able to sleep easier."

"Oh..." He tugged the loose thread free, unraveling a new hole in his pajama pants. "I usually have nightmares regardless. However, they tend to not wake me up so it isn't much of a big deal."

Sirius gave him an exasperated look. "Are they awful? Your 'nightmares regardless'?"

"Hmm? Oh, erm, I guess..."

"So it is a big deal."

Remus shrugged. "I don't wake up screaming, or crying, or—or—"

"Or saying you didn't mean to?"

His face flushed slightly. "So it isn't a big deal," he just continued, ignoring him.

"Right." Sirius stretched out his legs, wriggling his socked toes. "I guess I should go, then. Let you get back to sleep."

"Probably," Remus agreed, noticing the flicker in Sirius's expression. "I appreciate the help, though. I do." He rubbed at his face, sighing. "I just feel embarrassed, for waking you up. You really don't need to bother."

"I know I don't need to," Sirius said as he scooted closer to the edge of the bed, "but I like to. If you want me to stop then I will."

Remus bit his bottom lip then shook his head. It embarrassed him, yes, however there was something rather nice about someone caring about him like that. Even if it was annoying sometimes. "I don't mind."

"Okay. See you in the morning."

Sirius disappeared through the curtains and Remus slid under his covers, hand searching under his pillows until he found Gwyllgi. He hugged the black dog to his chest, curling his body up as much as he could around the stuffed animal, then drifted back into sleep.