The Games They Play
Chapter 44
Severus reeled back after regaining his senses, stunned beyond belief over what had just occurred. Regretting it immediately, once their locked lips were no longer attached. The urge to continue what Blake so blatantly and brazenly started was so strong that he leaned forward again before forcing himself to stand. He could not, would not put his heart out there only for it to be squashed. He had to know what Blake intended, what his intentions were. As much as it pained him to admit, he couldn't just have sex with Blake and be done with it. It was different with him, his feelings were involved, had been involved too long. Gritting his teeth, he asked, "Why?" just one question, just the one.
"Surely you know why people kiss, Severus?" Blake pointed out wryly, his head raised as he watched the wizard pace clearly caught of guard. Did he tell Severus what he'd heard? Or did he just leave that can of worms unopened?
"You've never expressed any desire to do so," Severus bit out, he'd watched him carefully enough to know.
Blake inhaled sharply, realizing he would have to be truthful, that they both would have to in order to have any sort of relationship. If he wasn't, he knew Severus would close down any hope, and would convince himself of all sorts. "No, I didn't, just as I didn't want to get attached, to you or Harry." He confessed, eyes glazed, "I had no idea what would come of me, Severus, time-travel wasn't exactly an exact science or branch of magic you know. Unfortunately, I couldn't keep both of you at arms lengths, even if I tried convincing myself it was for your own goods. Then I became selfish, the most selfish I'd ever allowed myself to be."
Severus stiffened, listening intently to Blake speak, and moved to slump on the sofa next to him.
"Was it wrong to want to be liked? To be mourned if anything happened to me? Probably." Blake sighed, brushing his hand through his hair with his good side. "To want companionship and care if this was the end? Yes. I wasn't strong enough to do it all stoically. At the end of the day Severus, I truly believed something would happen to me, and I'd never risk leaving a partner behind to grieve like that."
Severus swallowed thickly, was Blake implying what he thought he was?
"I like you, Severus, a lot," Blake continued, he couldn't say it was love, not yet, that took time, "I'd like to think the feels are mutual and reciprocated. If they aren't tell me now and I'll never bring this up again." he knew that Severus felt the same, but if he wanted an out…well he was giving him one. This was all on Severus now whether he wanted to accept the risk of dating someone, dating him.
Letting out a shaky breath, staring at Blake who was showing more emotion than normal. He had a feeling that Blake was…sure of their mutual attraction to one another. Yet he asked that sort of question, why? Realization quickly dawned in his bright, intelligent mind. Blake was giving him a way out of this potential relationship. The question is…could he do it? Lay himself bare? "You wish to begin a monogamous relationship not a one-time thing?"
Blake's eyebrows rose at the stress Severus put on monogamous, he suddenly didn't want to know who Severus had been with in the past for Severus to ask that question. Although, if he found out who it was…then he would make sure he couldn't use his dick for anything other than pissing. "Yes, Severus, I cannot guarantee it will have a good ending, nobody can, but I'd very much like to try." He wasn't stupid enough to believe that all relationships worked out.
"I would…very much like to try, yes," Severus finally opened his mouth and confessed, "Your feelings are very much reciprocated, but you have the absolute worst timing." He complained.
"Oh, how's that?" Blake asked, his tone utterly dry.
"Number one, you're injured, two I have a meeting in a few hours, three I have very little doubt Harry will be making his way back here." Severus said sardonically, he wasn't pouting, he absolutely wasn't. He'd often dreamed of being with Blake, making love and being loved in turn, and now…when it was all coming together…he found he was going to have to wait. He was truly in no condition for sex, the pain would be an extreme turnoff, regardless of his pain tolerance.
Blake burst out laughing, the look on Severus' face…it was comical. It softened considerably hearing him laugh, and he couldn't help the surge of hope, perhaps they could do this without destroying their friendship. Both were stubborn to the core, but they'd worked so well so far, able to compromise. A grimace spread across his features, laughing was not a good idea, he absently rubbed at his side. "So…Headmaster?" he asked, changing the subject, he was regretfully quite correct, they couldn't act on their baser urges, not yet.
Letting out a breath, "Yes," he confirmed, "I am still unsure if I want to be Headmaster."
"Now that's a lie if I've ever heard one," Blake stated, his tone firm booking no lies, "Don't lie to yourself, Severus. Do not worry about what others will think, what other people desire, think only of yourself, is this what you desire?"
"I became a Potions Master because I loved brewing, I detest teaching," Severus told him, all of which Blake was already knowledgeable about. Leaning back against the sofa, and truly relaxing.
Blake nodded, "As Headmaster you won't be teaching, you'll be in charge of the school, students and professors. During your free time…which when you've got the school up and running as you desire it, you'll be able to brew to your hearts content." He pointed out, "Hogwarts has always been your only home, a safe heaven, as it has for me." Nothing time or space did would ever change
"Not quite so accurate anymore, the cottage…is idyllic." Severus admitted.
"The cottage or the people?" Blake asked softly, "It's new, holds no bad memories, of course you'll be fond of it. Just because you're headmaster, doesn't mean you need to remain at Hogwarts all year around. During the summer months you can go there and decompress, or travel the world, visit new and interesting places…or both."
Severus conceded this with a cock of his head, it was true enough.
"You don't have to pick and choose, you can have it all," Blake pointed out, "You deserve it Severus, don't sabotage yourself or sell yourself short."
"What about you?" Severus asked, voicing one of his fears.
Blake blinked, "What about me?" he questioned curiously, he wasn't questioning whether to remain at Hogwarts or not because of him was he?
"What is it you want?" Severus asked, what did he want to do with his life? Could they have a future together? He knew Blake only agreed to become a teacher to prevent Umbridge for digging her claws in at Hogwarts and harming his ward. His ward, he'd very rarely spoken of Harry as his 'younger self' and it had rubbed off on Severus.
"To be quite frank, I rather enjoy teaching, Harry hasn't felt that bite," Blake admitted, "With Umbridge I had a chance to see what it was like and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It was nothing but a distant memory for me, of course, between everyone expecting me to be an Auror and the war…I didn't have a choice in career. Teaching has been…quite a rewarding and liberating time. I'm just not sure whether it has something to do with the freedom I've experienced this year." It was true enough, this was the most freedom he'd ever had, not constantly on the run.
"You wish to remain as the Defence professor?" Severus' hope soared.
"As long as the new Headmaster allows it," Blake teased, a mischievous grin adorning his features.
Severus almost did a doubletake, but managed to keep his features under control. This was an entirely new side to Blake…had it always been there? Buried under his façade? Or something new? Was it the simple fact that Voldemort was gone for good that was allowing his masks to crumble just enough to let him in? "I think he might be able to be convinced," he said back, something in him loosening at the playful banter.
"That's good," Blake said wryly, "So, who are you meeting?" was it Timothy Redfern's wife? Had Dumbledore woken up? What exactly had he missed?
"Faculty meeting," Severus answered, his hand reaching out and tangling with Blake's, "You are not obligated to attend," he was injured, that was reason enough for a non-attendance even if he had deemed it mandatory.
"Of course," Blake answered, he should have thought of that. "I'll attend." He confirmed, it was just sitting down, there wouldn't be a lot of physical exercise involved.
"Very well," Severus sighed resignedly, he wouldn't be able to talk him out of it, and truly? Blake knew his own mind, knew his own body and knew his own limitations. Until he had seen evidence of Blake's inability to take care of himself, he wouldn't get on at him for anything he chose to.
"Just because we can't have sex, doesn't mean we can't kiss," Blake told Severus after a few moments of silence, jerking him forward with their intertwined hands. "Unless of course…" he didn't get to finish before Severus' lips descended upon his.
His kisses was tentative at best, slow and careful, and it was driving Blake mad.
"I'm not going to break," Blake snipped, giving Severus a baleful look, "So either kiss me like you mean it…" before he could threaten him further, Severus shut him up with a more forceful kiss.
Severus strained, forcefully stopping himself from pressing up against Blake's warm and welcoming body. He knew he couldn't do that yet, so he used both his arms keep himself centred so he didn't accidentally do anything to harm him. Which did make kissing a little awkward, but no less tantalising and Blake was certainly making no bones of his enjoyment judging by the little sounds that was escaping him.
"Is everything…OKAYYY…I could have done without seeing that," Harry blurted out turning around, staring at his own crotch in embarrassment. It wasn't like this was the first time he had been hard…but come on! This was himself and Severus Snape! If he hadn't already been aware of the fact he was gay – thank you Blake – this would have been more shocking. Fucking hell, he had to get out of there pronto this was humiliating.
Blake's laugher caught him off-guard for a moment did he know what the problem was?
"I'll see you later! BYE!" with that Harry took off like shot, not even glancing back to look at them, his face tomato red. It was bad enough that he was constantly hot for Fred and George, who were his friends, and regretfully leaving Hogwarts this year, without popping boners around Blake and Severus.
Severus watched him go frowning at his peculiar behaviour, "I hadn't factored in his reaction," he conceded. Now quite worried about it, how would Blake fair if Harry didn't approve? And everything about that sentence knowing what he did made his head hurt.
Blake just smirked finding it wholly amusing.
"What is so amusing?" Severus asked silkily, giving Blake a shrewd look.
"You're worried about his reaction aren't you?" Blake asked wryly, "You needn't be, he's not exactly shy about being vocal these days if something doesn't meet his approval." Harry just wasn't as loud about it as he had been.
"You think he approves?" Severus arched a disbelieving brow.
"Yes," Blake replied, shrugging his shoulders, "Did you hear him vehemently cursing in disgust? Screwing up his face utterly repulsed? No, he just reacted as a child would seeing their parents in a compromising position. Which was to hightail it out of there."
Severus startled at that, there was no way Harry could see him and Blake as parents…could he? Did Harry even think of Blake as himself anymore or was it always his magical guardian? Someone to look up to? Someone he wanted to do well for? It's too bad he'd never know, Harry's Occlumency barriers were quite strong for his age. "I see," he murmured, still slightly perplexed but relieved.
"Even if he didn't approve it would have changed nothing, I'm a grown man and I do not need my own or anyone else's approval to start a relationship." Blake stated firmly, "Anyone that does need approval need's their heads examined."
Speaking of heads examined… "How is it you knew Timothy Redfern?"
Blake blinked at the abrupt shift in conversation, "I knew him in my time…" Blake confessed, a far away glaze entering his eyes, "He saved many peoples lives, kids, doing what he could after stashing away his own kids making sure they were safe." Instead of staying with them, "One of the bravest men I knew…" none compared to Severus' bravery though.
Severus winced, yeah, that couldn't be a good place for Blake to be right now. Knowing Timothy Redfern had tried to kill him…while knowing such goodness about him.
"He was atoning for a bad past, he was an assassin, an appointed one, went where he was told." Blake gave him a pointed look, the government wasn't as clean cut as everyone would like to believe. The world wasn't as clear cut as everyone liked to think. "Finally gave it up when he met the love of his life, settled down had four kids…maybe three in this time…he said one was a baby when I knew him…"
"I'm sorry," Severus replied, it was lacklustre, he knew, the sorry, what good did it do? A friend by the sound of it, or acquaintance had tried to kill him and it resulted in his death.
Blake mutely shook his head, "I'll choose to remember how he was with me," and that would be it. "Plus, you and I know he didn't do it willingly, Dumbledore must have held his past against him. It's the only way he would have killed again. He detested killing, only did it if there was no other option, especially if kids were endangered."
Severus nodded back grimly, yeah, he already suspected as much.
"Blasting stupid old fool," Blake slurred out bitterly, his eyes fluttering as tiredness drained him entirely of what energy he had left, which wasn't much to begin with.
"Sleep," Severus said quietly, but Blake was already going under, the last thing he felt was a blanket draped over his body, heating him up allowing Morpheus to take him all the much more easily.
Severus barely moved until it was time for the faculty meeting, refusing to risk wakening Blake up. If he was anything like him, even the slightest sound would wake him up, and he'd take ages to get back to sleep once roused. Merely plucked a book from the table and began reading, it was the one that Harry had been reading to Blake for days, Defence book, so it was something he could sink his teeth into. Regardless of whether he had read it before or not.
Unfortunately, Blake did express a desire to go to the meeting and he didn't want to discard his wishes. So, when it was mere minutes before the meeting was due to start, and no doubt the rest of the faculty was already there…Severus pressed a hand to his face, not at all surprised when those mesmerising green eyes fluttered open at the first touch. Severus had to stop himself smiling into a gooey puddle at the lack of coldness in his gaze as his defences were down. "If you wish to attend the meeting we must go now." Severus informed him, none of those internal pesky feelings showing on his face or in his tone.
Blake groaned, aiming to stretch only to stop and freeze as the pain reminded him it was not a good idea. Goddamn it, that hurt, he guessed stretching was out for the foreseeable future.
"Here, it's a pain reliever, number five with a muscle relaxant," Severus spoke causing Blake to stiffen a bit and relax fully. He hadn't even been aware of Severus either moving or summoning the potion. He didn't like the thought of letting his guard down so fully…but if he couldn't with Severus and Harry who could he do it with and trust fully?
"Thanks," Blake groaned in sweet relief as the draught did it's work, his muscles a pile of goo within minutes as though he had just had the most relaxing massage possible.
"You won't be able to take anything more until ten o'clock tonight," Severus warned, "And I would suggest nothing more than a level four pain reliever."
Blake nodded curtly, as he eased himself to his feet, he wasn't a Potions Master but he knew when and how often he could take potions. "Dobby?" knowing they had to get there pronto, Severus wouldn't have woken him up until the very last minute.
"Take us up to the Staff room please," Blake requested, feeling bad for using Dobby as a means of transport, but he knew he wouldn't be able to endure the Floo network and definitely wouldn't be able to walk there. Even with the pain relief draughts running through his system, he was still very aware of every injury he'd sustained, even the wound he'd cauterised was pulling at his skin and painful to touch, not that he'd tried much, even the brush of clothes against his skin was awful.
Dobby immediately clasped Blake and Severus' hands, his masters' hands and popped them right outside the door. He didn't hang around, knowing that if they needed him, they'd let him know, he'd know through the bond. So, until then, he would simply help the House-elves at Hogwarts prepare dinner and make sure his Master's food wasn't tampered with by watching and preparing it himself.
"Are you sure you wouldn't rather return to our quarters and rest? This is going to be tedious," Severus gave him one last chance to back out, rubbing his own temples in silent agitation.
Blake smiled at the 'our quarters' bit, but shook his head, opening the door and trying to walk in as he normally would. He didn't think he accomplished it, judging by the looks on their faces, heck, they probably thought he was constipated. Wouldn't surprise Blake the slightest if they did.
"How are you fairing?" Filius asked, a concerned yet knowing look on his face.
Out of them all, other than Severus, Filius probably DID know best. As a champion dueller, he no doubt had to deal with his fair share of collective injuries that happened while competing. If he were a Muggle, his X-rays would have been interesting…instead it was the diagnosis that would be amazing to read through. For such a small guy, he knew the professor would have a massive wad of diagnosis coming out the wand that performed the spell.
"I'm well as can be expected," Blake informed Filius inclining his head in thanks.
"You'll be as right as rain in a few months," Filius said cheerfully, which was also true.
Blake barked out a laugh, "Well too bad we haven't figured out how to go ahead in time as well," he teased softly, as he took his seat, Severus sitting next to him.
If anyone noticed their closeness nobody commented on it.
"How is it that Hogwarts came to you?" came the curious voice of the Head of Hufflepuff house, "I don't mean that in a bad way, Severus, I'm just baffled!" it should have gone to the Deputy Headmistress, it was the way it had always been, hadn't it?
"In all you've read…where has there been a mention that Headmaster Dippet was in fact the Deputy Headmaster before he became the Headmaster?" Blake was the one who answered her question. "He was the Transfiguration teacher only when he was elevated to Headmaster status." He then employed Dumbledore, who went from Transfiguration to Defence before back to Transfiguration until he became Headmaster. "Hogwarts made that decision, when the previous Headmaster stepped down, it went straight to Dippet, he gained control over the wards and was appointed Headmaster, by Hogwarts herself."
"The wards? Dear merlin! Severus are you well?" Filius asked, eyes wide, gaining control over the wards unexpectedly…it must have been terrible and painful indeed.
"I'm fine," Severus reassured the Ravenclaw head of house, truth be told, he'd barely registered the pain or the presence of the wards with his worry and fear over Blake. He'd only started to become aware of it when Blake actually started to heal, started to get better.
Minerva remained quite close-lipped over the entire thing, watching everything through narrowed eyes. She'd worked at Hogwarts for decades, working her way up the food chain so to speak, almost killed herself to prove she had what it took. Worked more so due to Dumbledore's frequent trips to the Ministry or the international conferences he attended.
It wasn't fair, she was utterly heartbroken that she had not received the Headmistress position. A position she had worked her ass off to get when the time came. It irked her too that Severus got it because he didn't care about the students, didn't want to be there, had detested teaching.
"First things first, the role of Head of House for the Slytherins, I'd like to pass to Professor Slytherin, if he should desire to take on the role." Severus informed them, getting to the crux of the meeting. He wasn't going to spend hours listening to them gossiping. He'd get it done and get Blake back into bed for rest. There was nobody else he would trust more with his snakes, perhaps except one other professor, who would be offered if Blake did not accept the position.
"I'd be honoured," Blake nodded once, agreeing to the position despite his short time working at Hogwarts. Better still, he knew Severus wasn't doing this because of their recent turn from friendship to partnership. Severus wouldn't place his snakes lightly in anyone's care, regardless of whether he was sleeping with them or not.
Severus nodded curtly, pleased that Blake had agreed, knowing he'd put them into good hands. As Headmaster, he could not be the Head of Slytherin house, it would be too much for any one person to take on and could cause prejudice. "As for you, Minerva, I'm afraid you're going to have to choose between being Deputy Headmistress and Head of Gryffindor house."
Minerva went pale, shock lancing through her at the ultimatum. "W-what?" she managed to rasp out, once she was capable of speech again.
"It's against the bylaws set forth by the founders, in Hogwarts charter." Blake explained his tone softening a little. "Both Head and deputy head cannot, and should not be the Head of any of the founders houses. Dumbledore broke the rules by allowing you so many jobs, which stretched you much too thin to give the care the students needed of you."
"Excuse me?" Minerva straightened, nostrils flaring at the slight she felt on her character.
"How often do you help your students with their homework?" Blake asked suddenly, a knowing look on his face, "How often do you offer them reassurances their first week at Hogwarts? How often do you spend with students that are struggling and help them as you're supposed to? Do you even know the first thing about your students home lives? You don't because. You. Are. Never. There. For. Them." enunciating the last sentence heatedly, aching but refusing to stop until he got his point across.
Minerva immediately began to flounder and fluster over the questions Blake was asking her.
"As their Head of House it is your duty, a duty as temporary magical guardian to ensure they do the best they could. It's what Head of Houses' were implemented for." Blake continued on undeterred by her spluttering red face. "You've failed every single aspect of what being a Head of House entails."
"It's not my duty to help them with their homework!" Minerva managed to get out through clenched teeth.
"Pomona? Filius? Severus?" Blake waved his good arm, theatrically giving them 'the floor' so to speak.
"I help my students in the common room for one hour Monday through Friday, and two hours on Sunday afternoon. If they're really struggling I give them private tutoring but only if I believe they need one-on-one attention." Filius informed the room bluntly, the silence was almost stifling. That wasn't including what he did for the charms after school club, which was quite popular.
"I myself offer up the same services, but only Monday through Friday, the weekend I spent tending to the plants barring no emergency." Pomona replied, her arms wrapped around her ample belly. "A few even offer up their time to help, it helps them understand plants more in the process…"
"I normally spend two hours each night in the common room with my students, every day, including the weekends." Severus confessed, "I not only help them with their homework but ensure they are up to standard when it comes to their Defence lessons, not something I had to continue this year…thankfully, otherwise I do not think I would have had the time to give them the adequate help they needed." His spying duties couldn't be put on hold, especially if he'd wanted to live to see another day.
"The only one-on-one time my ward has ever had with his Head of House was this year, during his career day interview." Blake explained blankly, "No other help has ever been offered to him OR any other Gryffindor student. Hermione Granger did something despicable…because she felt she had nobody else to turn to."
That certainly got everyone's attention, all of them talking all over one another to find out exactly what the girl had done. All variations of 'what's happened? what's she done?'
"She obliviated her parents and sent them off to Australia," Blake informed them coolly.
"But that's insanity," Filius blanched, "Australia is notoriously difficult to get into, one little wrong turn…"
"She would never do such a thing," Minerva immediately retorted hotly, refusing to believe her star pupil would be so silly.
"Which is exactly what happened, with the magical urge to leave still propelling them, they won't return to their home." Severus interjected, completely ignoring Minerva. "What we have found out so far is that they were NOT granted entry into Australia and were escorted back to Luton Airport, since then they're dropped off the map. The money they had I estimate had to have run its course six months ago, that's if they were smart and spent fugally. Not to mention how they'd feel mentally, with a unexperienced Witch rifling through their memories changing things she wished." He had assumed they were going to correct her actions on their own, but Blake had brought it up, so evidently not.
"When did you find out about this? And how is it the Ministry don't yet know?" Pomona questioned, clearly struggling to accept what such a clever girl like Hermione Granger had done.
"Summer holidays," Blake confessed, pinching the bridge of his nose, "She's a bright girl, I didn't want to see her future destroyed over this. Hoped I could get through to her, make her see the ramifications of her actions. Get her parents back to normal and allow them to punish her as they saw fit."
"I was informed, in due course, and both of us have been looking for the Grangers, to no avail." Severus sighed, "We may need to use the Aurors resources that they can bring to bear against this mystery. The longer the Grangers are missing…the worst it will get for her." Which was true enough, the Unspeakables might be able to come up with a way to reverse the damage that isn't known by the general population.
"You have it wrong, Ms. Granger is too smart to do something so utterly foolish," Minerva retorted in a clipped manner.
"Right, because we'd waste both our times coming up with ludicrous fairy-tale that could be completely dispelled within a few moments? Haven't you seen just how tense and run down the girl has been this year?" Blake asked incredulously, and this was her Head of House.
"It's an important year," Minerva blindly protested.
"Indeed," Blake sighed, giving up with a shake of his head, glancing at the other teachers with a look that said, this is what you have to put up with? She was very similar to Hermione, who absolutely refused to see anything she does as wrong. The 'greater good' came into play often enough to sicken him.
"Slughorn has graciously offered his services as Potions Master while I line up interviews for a new Potions Professor for the new year." Severus elected to continue on the faculty meeting, keeping to what was meant to be discussed.
It took an hour to discuss everything that he needed to impart upon them. It was the most tortuous hour he'd ever had to endure. He regretted deeply making the damn faculty meeting for that night. He wanted nothing more than to be alone with Blake, they had so much to discuss still.
Unfortunately, he knew the moment they got back Blake would be out for the count. Even now, while listening intently, Severus could see the struggle Blake was enduring in order to remain awake and alert.
Which meant they wouldn't get much talking done until tomorrow.
They had time though, that was all that mattered. A few days ago he feared for Blake's life, watched it slip out of his grasp like sand only to return with renewed vigour and more importantly…with a desire to spend his life with him.
Nothing could dim the new fire and hope spreading within him.
Not even the Aurors who had surprisingly showed up at Hogwarts in the night, Severus reckoned he knew which of his teachers were responsible. Hermione Granger was escorted from her common room and out of Hogwarts with tears streaming down her face, begging and pleading for mercy, that she'd 'just wanted to save them' not heeding her rights by remaining silent, and everything she said was going to be used against her in court of law.
Do you want to see the Aurors escorting Hermione Granger out? What will Minerva choose? If she becomes Deputy...who will become Head of House for the Gryffindors? will Lucius and the other Death Eaters manage to evade justice yet again? Or will we see them all being arrested via the Daily Prophet in the next few chapters? I'm thinking perhaps 5 chapters before it ends...maybe 3-5 or thereabouts I'm thinking :) R&R please
