Interlude
[=][=]
With the fall of Coruscant, trillions of people had fled the Core in convoys of refugee ships. The New Republic Navy had its hands full. Whether it was regrouping after their own losses, or trying to protect an increasingly scattered population, the men and women in the navy were stretched thin. Whole fleet groups had been rearranged to make up for the losses; junior officers promoted prematurely to replace their superiors killed in battle, veterans transferred to ensure those junior officers would not be killed right away. The simple fact was that there were too many refugees and not enough ships to protect them. They knew it, the public knew it, and so did the politicians who had reestablished some semblance of galactic government on Dac.
Yet, for those fleeing the Yuuzhan Vong advances, they had little choice but to move on. The members of the New Republic Navy did their best to guide the convoys to safer sectors, but it was hard to protect the refugees when you were at best afforded a squadron or two for convoys with hundreds of vessels big and small.
Fresh off a resupply stop, one such convoy of refugee ships came to a halt as its escorting flight of X-wings and one light courier ship ordered them out of hyperspace much earlier than planned. The convoy was comprised of ten heavy transports and over a dozen smaller crafts of various make and models. With close to a hundred and fifty-thousand souls in all, the people in the convoy hailed from Coruscant and other Core worlds and had spent the past few weeks traveling from one planet to another to avoid the every-expanding frontlines.
"What's going on? Why are we stopping?" Asked Czerka Arm's President of Coruscant Operations, Su'fan. A slight in stature Neimoidian, he wore his turquoise executive's uniform—which looked several shades greener against his own teal-gray skin—as a last desperate attempt to cling to the life he had left behind. He gripped the nearest individual by his arm and pulled him over. "We can't have reached the next navi-point yet. Go ask the captain why we've stopped."
As if to spare the surrounding refugees from the displaced executive's tyranny, a voice came over the cramped cargo bay's intercom. "Now hear this. This is Major Jan Ors of the Raven's Claw. Before we head to our final waypoint we have a small security sweep to get through. Thanks to the generous donations from Tendrando Industries and New Republic Intelligence, we aim to make sure this convoy is free of any Yuuzhan Vong infiltrators or tech. If you happen to be a Yuuzhan Vong infiltrator, kindly report to the nearest security detail or escape pod to not inconvenience the other refugees. We apologize for the delay and thank you for your patience. That is all."
The executive made a displeased sound and glowered at the rusted-over speaker box. "Now they want to perform a security sweep? As if any Vong would willingly subject themselves to these abysmal conditions. We're too close to the frontlines as it. You, go find one of the crew. I wish to lodge a complaint against the ones running this farce."
The executive ended his command by releasing the man's arm and giving him a slight shove. The last thing the executive registered was the man's other arm swinging towards him. Everyone else in the room gaped in shock at the living blade now buried to the hilt in the executive's face. In the time it took for them to blink, the killer was gone.
In the escorting light courier vessel Jan Ors checked the readings on the experimental sensor the spooks had given her on the last stopover. Since Coruscant's fall, the New Republic had made 'secure' sites for the nearly endless stream of refugees. Within the past two weeks, however, there had been an uptick in convoys being ambushed at said secure sites with horrific loss of life following. Adjustments to security protocols, comm-jamming, even beefed up escorting forces didn't seem to make any different. The problem had to be Vong related. And biot-expert Danni Quee had stepped in with a new, experimental sensor.
A sensor that gave readings that made Jan's eyes cross and her head ache. Astrophysics and gravity theory wasn't exactly something one picked up on the fly. If it wasn't for Danni's illustrated, fully-voiced, instruction manual, Jan wasn't ashamed to admit that the readings would have been utterly incomprehensible to a flygirl like herself.
She followed the squiggly lines across the monitor—something the manual told Jan represented the standard gravity and electro-magnetic profiles and emissions of the ships she was scanning. Only a few minutes after her announcement, a different group of squiggles appeared, but only for a moment. A mere blip nearly overlapped by the other squiggles all around it. Jan had the computer rewind to the outgoing blip so she could match it to the other blips in the instruction manual.
"Surprise, surprise," Jan muttered to herself, flipping through the manual. There was no match to any of the known biots or technology in the database. But there was a passing similarity to a long-distance villip transmission. And going off her extensive intelligence background, Jan had a feeling she knew what the blip was. Someone with a Vong communicator had just ghosted their position.
The light above the communication's console went on, and Jan opened a line. She knew without checking who it was. No one else had that particular transceiver's frequency after all. "Go for Ors. What's up boys?"
"Got wind of multiple murders aboard one of the heavy transports." Jedi Master Kyle Katarn reported. "Your announcement riled up someone."
"And Doctor Quee's device picked up an irregular outgoing signal. If I were a gambling woman, and I am, my money is on a Vong interdiction unit arriving very soon."
"Copy," Jedi Master Jaden Korr spoke up. "Signal to the YVH droids on the transports has been sent. We'll look over the smaller ships and personal craft once we have more breathing room."
"Roger that, stay alert you two."
"Yes, mom." Jaden replied lightly.
Jan rolled her eyes. In their line of work, asking them to 'stay safe' was pointless. Equally so for the request to 'be careful'. Having worked with the two very experienced Jedi for the better part of a decade, Jan knew she could trust the two to get out of a myriad of tight spots. And if all else failed, she'd zoom in guns blazing and give the duo a scolding after the fact.
Her sensor panel began to chirp. "Looks like I was right. We have what looks like two squads of skips and a frigate-sized ship en route."
The quartet of X-wings swung around as the Yuuzhan Vong force dropped out of hyperspace. At the same time, a lone A-wing led the civilian convoy away from the alien attack force at a sedate pace. Jan steered the Raven's Claw so that it was leading the X-wings into battle. Considering what they were up against, the maneuver appeared very suicidal in nature.
Given the odds, the Yuuzhan Vong opted to split up their forces. One squadron of coralskippers headed for the escort, while the other broke off to chase the convoy. The frigate stayed back far enough to provide suppressive fire, but otherwise was content to leaving the fighting to the fighters.
The squadron going after the convoy struck first, firing a barrage of missiles at the rear most heavy transport, whose profile made a fat target. The missiles closed the distance with laughable ease, turning the targeted transport into a molten wreck within the blink of an eye. Despite this, the convoy made no evasive maneuvers or accelerated at all. Another wave of missiles struck a second heavy transport, providing the squadron a second very easy kill.
In the meantime, the escorting New Republic force began trading missile fire with the other coralskipper squadron. The missiles were mostly ineffective, with the Raven's Claw scoring the only kill before the two sides passed between each other. But that was exactly the plan. As the coralskippers began to swing about to re-engage, the mines the X-wings and Raven's Claw had left in their wake detonated. Balls of fire ripped through the coralskipper squadron, sending hulks of burnt coral flying every which way.
The coralskipper squadron going after the convoy suffered a similar fate, only to a different cause. After downing their third heavy transport and lining up for a run on a fourth, the coralskipper pilots were surprised to see their target break apart without them doing anything. They stayed the course, albeit a bit confused and wary. Alarm joined that collection of emotions when momentum-launched torpedoes were shoved right into their formation. Since they had continued straight for the transport, they literally flew right into the warheads.
Four other A-wings fell away from a fifth heavy transport and promptly mopped up the survivors in a single run. They then joined Jan and the X-wings on a beeline for the frigate. Said frigate saw its fighter escort completely destroyed and started to withdraw. That is, until a bright red Star Destroyer dropped out of hyperspace right on top of it and promptly blew it to bits.
"Booster, Wraiths, thank you for your services," Jan remarked glibly.
"Great party, we should do this again some time," Garik 'Face' Loran replied in matching tone. The A-wings flew up to the awaiting Star Destroyer. "See you at Borleias."
"We'll keep the rest of the Wraiths nice and comfy until then." Jan pressed another button. "Sending you the sensor info now, Booster. Please make sure it gets to the right people."
"Received. Good luck out there, Ors."
"You too," Jan smiled faintly, watching as the Star Destroyer disappeared into hyperspace. She then changed frequencies. "You two got something for me?"
"YVH droids report three Vong infiltrators toasted. We also encountered a pair of suicidal Peace Brigaders."
"Peace Brigaders taking their own lives? They aren't exactly that type of fanatical."
"What do you call firing a blaster at two Jedi Masters in a mag-sealed room?"
"The both of them?"
"Uh huh, at the same time. They were the ones who sealed the room in the first place and for some reason thought it was smart to fire their blasters at two lightsaber-wielding Jedi. If you want to be technical about it, we're not sure if the blaster bolts that hit them came from their own weapon or the other guys'."
Jan shook her head, not at all surprised that idiocy came hand-in-hand with members of an organization that thought handing over Jedi to the Yuuzhan Vong would create galactic peace. "So two down. You suspect more?"
"That's affirmative," Jaden answered. "These two were just on one ship. Two of the Vong infiltrators were found on different ones."
"Okay, identify them if you can. But do it discretely," Jan directed. "After that, we have our next assignment."
"No rest for the good guys, huh."
"Tell the bad guys to take a break so we can too," Jan chuckled. "Until that happens, we'll be gainfully employed by the powers that be."
"Copy. Will contact you when we've finished our sweep, Kyle out."
Jan sagged back into her chair. Though she had every confidence in Jaden and Kyle, there was always that small part of her that liked to play devil's advocate. So many Jedi had already fallen to the Vong and she was under no illusion that her two Jedi were invincible in any way. Even a blue milk run like the mission they were on could be deadly.
"Told you she was worried." Kyle's annoyingly smug voice chimed in over the still open line.
Jan mock-glowered at the ship the two were on, willing her mind-reading partners to sense her current line of thoughts. "Only worried you two would do something that will cost us a whole lot of credits we don't have. You both have terrible track-records when it comes to keeping things in one piece, and the very nice transport company is letting those refugees use their ships for free."
"Uh huh."
"Focus on your mission, Katarn," Jan said with an eye-roll. She'd let them have their fun. As long as both were healthy and in shape to make fun of her, in this day and age, that was all that mattered to her.
[=][=]
It had been two weeks since the coronation on Hapes. While those in the orbits of the Skywalkers and Solos of the galaxy had been focused on simply making it out of that situation in one piece, the rest of the galaxy had continued to spin at breakneck speeds. With the dissolution of the Coruscant-based senate and its reemergence on Dac, political maneuvering and turmoil rippled through the fragmented New Republic government. The new Chief of State, a Quarren Senator named Pwoe, was quick to consolidate his power and establish his own legitimacy. To do so, he immediately went all out to marginalize the Jedi Order.
The repercussions of the Jedi Order essentially taking control of the fleets during the evacuation of Coruscant were being felt far and wide. Jedi at all levels, even Luke Skywalker, were stripped of their security clearances. Any non-Jedi who relayed government-gathered information to the Jedi Order would be persecuted. Any military officer who prioritized Jedi commands over that of the Senate would be relieved of duty and likewise brought up on charges. Perhaps most crippling was the Pwoe Administration's re-categorizing of the Jedi Order as a 'private religious institution'. This cut off all government subsidies and funding, the ability for the Order to use any government resources without substantial reimbursement, allowed the government to seize any assts the Jedi Order and its members didn't own outright, and allowed the government to tax the resources it did own.
Any potential public blowback was ameliorated by the Pwoe Administration lambasting the Jedi Order in an all-day, all week news and talk-show barrage. The Jedi Order was the one who caused Sernpidal, Ithor, New Helga, Hapes, and a myriad of other worlds to suffer. If it wasn't for Jedi 'agitators' and 'glory-seekers' the Yuuzhan Vong would never had any reason to attack said worlds. Anakin's attack on the Yuuzhan Vong pantheon and the casualties sustained on Myrkr was turned into proof that the Jedi Order was only out for themselves. Pwoe's views aligned frighteningly close with the Peace Brigade's, a group of people he openly called 'concerned citizens' and 'galactic patriots'.
Anakin Solo's plan to join Kyp's Dozen had been put on hold by a bloc of senators who began floating the idea of persecuting Anakin for both Myrkr and his subsequent attack on the religion of a 'proud and noble' peoples. For two weeks, a flurry of behind-the-scenes politicking unfolded. Pwoe and his people tried to bring the public onto their side by claiming that Anakin's comments had 'made the galaxy a more dangerous place' and were inflammatory and incited violence. A bloc of politicians led by Cal Omas led the counter-effort, winning just enough support to table the idea for another time. Without a clear victor in that battle, Anakin became a political hot potato whose very presence significantly increased the danger to everyone around him.
Only hours after it was confirmed that Anakin wouldn't be put on yet another trial, he found himself next to Alema in a shuttle headed for the Quasar Fire-class bulk cruiser that served as the Dozen's homebase. The Heart of Carida had received the New Republic's New Class Modernization Program make-over and was a gleaming triangular gem in the light of the system's sun. Seeing it through the viewport of his shuttle, Anakin himself couldn't help but feel a little giddy.
Much was made of the Dozen's roguish ways and Kyp's flouting of the Jedi Grandmaster's wishes. They were the squad that dared to go toe-to-toe with Yuuzhan Vong forces for the sake of the people. They were the Jedi and every-day people that had had enough of watching systems burned when the Jedi Order had been in a position to do something about it. The Dozen were bold, compassionate, true heroes of the Order.
Or at least that's what the hype would lead many of the younger Jedi to believe. Anakin would definitely count himself among them. He had a feeling that if it had been up to Kyp, it would have been the Dozen to take on the mission to Myrkr. The Dozen fought on regardless of its detractors and critics. Striking the Vong where it hurt and making the Vong pay for every planet they destroyed. And at the moment, that was exactly what Anakin wanted to do. For every life taken, for every planet razed, he would make the Vong regret it. Regret it so much that the alien invaders would question the very reason why they had invaded in the first place. Would question their gods.
The shuttle docked within the bay of the carrier without issue and Kyp came from the cockpit to smile at his two new recruits. He tapped the button to open the airlock door and gestured for Anakin and Alema to undo their harnesses. "Welcome to our home away from home"
"It's shiny," Alema commented, stepping out into the surprisingly well-kept hangar. "How'd you rate a brand new ship?"
"The Dozen saved a smaller shipyard from a Vong raid," one of the members of the Dozen awaiting them answered. "The shipyard manager gifted us the ship."
"Anakin, Alema, meet my XO, Ryza Tyreed." Kyp gestured to the dark-haired woman who had greeted them. Ryza was wearing grease-stained overalls, with a pair of welder's goggles seated atop her head. She appeared to be around Kyp's age, maybe a few years younger, and radiated a bouncy energy. "She's the whole reason why the Dozen hasn't fallen to pieces by now. If you need something we don't have, let her know and she'll get it for you."
"Don't let the boss fool you," Ryza waved him off and gave him a mock glare. "He's the reason the Dozen exists in the first place. Most of the stuff I acquire is made possible because he's helped us save so many people."
"Just your XO, huh?" Alema remarked, glancing back and forth between the two of them.
"I don't know where your mind has gone, Rar, but make it go elsewhere," Kyp remarked, dryly. "The Dozen's banded together because we all believe the Jedi should be more proactive in this war. Nothing else. We would be able to accomplish a heck of a lot more if Master Skywalker gets himself out of his rut and fully commits the order to this fight."
"So all of your supplies are donations from grateful people?" Anakin finally voiced.
Kyp's expression flickered from melancholy to neutral. "We've paid for them, Solo. Just not in credits."
"What do you mean?"
"Your team wasn't the first Jedi killed in this war, the first group of heroes to die fighting for others," Kyp gestured for Alema and Anakin to follow him to a back wall of the hangar. "The Dozen and the crew of the Heart of Carida have shed sweat and blood defending the people from the Vong. We're nearing our third year of operations and we've had more than our fair share of casualties."
Arriving at the back wall, Anakin and Alema could see it was set up as some sort of shrine. In fact, the entire wall was covering in holo-frames and emitters projecting a myriad of faces. In a section separated from the rest, beneath a hologram of an X-wing, were over two dozen images.
"Kyp's Dozen was initially the Dozen-and-Two Avengers," Kyp said solemnly, his eyes tracing over the ghostly images smiling back at him. "At the time, Miko and I were the only Jedi in the squad, not that it helped us any. We were wiped out over Helska IV, and I ended up being the only survivor. Since then, I reformed the Dozen with Jedi and non-Jedi pilots alike, and we've saved billions. But we lost people every time. Two over Bothawui, another three over Kubindi, five over Sernpidal, two helping New Plympto, three over Coruscant, two over Hapes. Even with the two of you joining, we're still three bodies short of a Dozen."
"But you're still doing more than the Jedi Order," Anakin pointed out.
"We're definitely dying more than the Jedi Order is," Kyp shrugged. "Sometimes it feels like we're trying to plug a leaky dam with just our fingers. For every planet the Dozen saves, the Vong raze dozens more. For every world that comes around to helping us, thrice that side with the Vong and the Peace Brigaders. When you joined up with me, Anakin, your aunt threatened to make me a part of this wall if anything ever happened to you."
"Are you trying to convince me not to join?"
"No, I'm just making sure you understand the situation. You joined us because you want to hurt the Vong and protect the Jedi. I get that. Just make sure that in trying to do that, you don't let the rest of the galaxy burn in the process."
"I can say the same thing to you," Anakin retorted darkly. "You started the Dozen for the same reasons."
"I started the Dozen to protect the people," Kyp disagreed. "To take the fight to the Vong so whole worlds can sleep well at night."
"And the way I see it, you're so in to trying to do that, you're letting the rest of the squadron burn in the process," Anakin returned, gesturing to the wall.
"Are you trying to convince me to not let you join?" Kyp said coolly, the temperature in the area decreasing noticeably.
"No, I'm just making sure you understand the situation," Anakin returned tonelessly. "I joined because I want to stop the Vong and your squadron gives me the best chance to do that. Whether the rest of the galaxy burns in the process? Well, thanks to the New Republic government and the Jedi Order, isn't it already doing that?"
Kyp and Anakin stared each other down, a battle of wills igniting. As the seconds ticked by, another member of the Dozen emerged from a nearby turbolift.
"Kyp, we've just… Alema?"
"Octa," a soft smile appeared on Alema's face as she recognized the dark-haired, muscular Jedi. "It's been awhile."
"It has. I heard about Daeshara'cor," Jedi Knight Octa Ramis bowed her head. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Alema stepped up to embrace her master's closest friend. "How've you been? You're with the Dozen now?"
"Joined before Coruscant," Octa shrugged, returning the hug. "After hearing how the Jedi Order nearly stopped Solo's group from killing the voxyn, I had enough with their stagnation. If even the Jedi Order wasn't going to protect Jedi, then someone had to. What about you?"
"Followed some guy here," Alema jerked a finger towards Anakin, who was still staring down Kyp, neither willing to look away.
Octa chuckled sadly. "That's probably another reason why I joined."
"Miko," Alema said knowingly, draping a comforting arm around Octa's shoulders. Miko Reglia had been Kyp's first and only apprentice, and had been the first Jedi to die in the war. He and Octa Ramis had met on Yavin IV as students, become close friends, and eventually lovers.
"Miko," Octa nodded, giving Alema's hand a small squeeze. "Anyway, what's up with Durron and Solo?"
"Oh, those two? It's just testosterone poisoning. I wouldn't worry about it," Alema gestured mildly with her other hand.
Octa studied the two for a moment, then called out across the hangar. "Hey Ryza,"
Ryza, who had been tinkering with one of the fighters, looked up. "Octa?"
Octa Ramis motioned towards Kyp and Anakin. "Do something about this."
Ryza followed Octa's gesture and made a face. "Why me?"
"Because you're one of the founding members of this version of the Dozen if rumors are to be believed." Octa said good-naturedly.
"So you see it too?" Alema whispered conspiratorially.
"The entire crew of the Heart of Carida, and pretty much every member of the Dozen but those two see it," Octa returned in faux whisper. She then called back to Ryza again. "Come on! I have something important to report, and you're the best at getting him to pay attention to important things."
Ryza made a huffing noise and wove the Force into her next words. "Hey, boss, are you really getting into a hydrospanner measuring contest with a grieving teenager? Ramis has something to bug you about."
Kyp shook himself, not giving Anakin a second look as he gestured to Octa. "Sorry about that, go ahead."
"New Republic Senate on Dac wants us to help out the refugee situation at Borleias. The system's become a giant staging ground as the government tries to work out what to do with all the refugees. We're to swing by a few systems to pick up supplies and rendezvous with the fleet elements over Borleias for additional orders."
"Alright, I'll head to the bridge. I see you know Rar already."
"Her master was a very good friend of mine," Octa nodded.
"Okay, can you show her and Solo around and help them settle in. Once we're at Borleias, I have a feeling any free time is going to be very limited."
[=][=]
"Lieutenant Jaina Solo, reporting for duty," Jaina saluted sharply before Colonel Gavin Darklighter and Admiral Traest Kre'fey.
The Bothan fleet commander returned the salute. "At ease, Lieutenant. Welcome back to the fleet."
"Thank you, sir," Jaina clasped her hands at the small of her back.
"Has the colonel filled you in on our latest orders?"
"Yes, sir. We're providing roving patrols for the refugee convoys fleeing from the core."
"Those are our official orders, yes," the Bothan clasped his own hands behind his back.
"Sir?"
"Like you, I recently reassumed my old position in this fleet. Just last week I was on Bothawui for the official mourning of our recently departed head of state, Borsk Fey'lya. During the mourning ceremony, the Bothan Council has declared ar'krai against the Yuuzhan Vong."
"I'm not following, sir."
"To put it simply, my people have declared that the enemy shall become dust, or we shall. It is a total war against the Yuuzhan Vong that will not cease until every last one of them is destroyed. As such, so long as you are under my command, I want you to consider the answer to two questions every time you wake up: 'What can I do to hurt the Vong today' and 'How can I help my own side grow stronger'. Do that and we will take the fight to the Vong. Do you follow me, lieutenant?"
"Yes, sir," Jaina said, her brown eyes dark, almost black and emotionless.
"Very good. Now as you said, our official mission is to protect the refugee convoys. We can of course do that by sitting around, waiting for the Vong to attack. Or we can take the fight to the Vong. Colonel Darklighter, with Jaina Solo and Ganner Rhysode joining Rogue Squadron, I believe you have an unprecedented four Force-users in your squadron at the moment, am I wrong?"
"No sir."
"Then we will take advantage of that," Traest said imperiously. "Lieutenant Solo, for now, reacquaint yourself with Rogue Squadron and relax. There will be plenty Vong to burn in the near future."
"Sir," Jaina clicked her heels together, saluted one last time, and left the admiral's office. When the door closed behind her, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She then opened her eyes again to gaze about the busy bridge. The scene all seemed surreal to her. She hadn't quite known what to expect when she rejoined Rogue Squadron. Ever since Anni Capstan had died, she had done her best to keep Rogue Squadron in the rearview.
Anni Capstan, yet another person the war had consumed.
Just like Tahiri.
And Zekk.
Jaina closed her eyes and needed to take in another calming breath as her hands curled into fists. She didn't do emotions well, especially emotions like guilt and regret. Her last conversation with Zekk hadn't ended on the friendliest of notes, yet at the same time, she had meant every word she had said. You were either fighting a war with everything you had, or half-assing it and endangering yourself and those around you. If she had a do-over, she wouldn't change a thing.
Was it revenge she was seeking by joining Rogue Squadron? Jaina dismissed that possibility almost as soon as the thought had been formed. Revenge wasn't a Jedi thing, and despite everything, despite Zekk's own opinion of her, she was still a Jedi. She had joined Rogue Squadron to help put an end to the war as fast as she could.
"How's it going, Solo?
Jaina opened her eyes to see Ganner leaning against a nearby railing. Due to her family drama, she had actually rejoined Rogue Squadron a full week after Ganner. Aside from a brief wave when she boarded the Ralroost, she hadn't had a chance to interact with him since Hapes. "Same nerf turds as always."
"Great," Ganner said cheerfully, leaving Jaina feeling like he'd have responded that way no matter what she had said. "The rest of the squad is putting on a 'welcome back' party for you and a 'welcome to the squad' party for me. I was told to not accept 'no thanks' as a response."
Jaina started for the turbolift, mildly annoyed when Ganner fell into step with her. "Ganner, I didn't come here to make friends and party."
"Neither did I, but…"
"Look, why did you join Rogue Squadron?" Jaina said stopping at the turbolift door.
"Same reason why anyone joins it, they want to be a hero and have their faces plastered on recruitment posters all across the galaxy."
"You could have joined the Dozen for that. Weren't you a part of Kyp's group for a while?"
"What can I say? I wanted to try something new. Never been part of the military before."
"Do you ever take anything seriously?"
"Would it matter if I did?" Ganner asked as they stepped into the turbolift. "I know you don't want to go to the party. I know you don't want to make any ties that might hurt. I get that. But by being miserable, you make everyone else around you miserable. After all, you're Jaina Solo, the famed daughter of Leia and Han. If you're miserable, scared, and hurting, what chance do mere mortals have in this war?"
"You want me to pretend that everything is just fine?" Jaina said in disbelief, her forehead scrunching.
"I do that all the time," Ganner shrugged. "I pretend that life's a joke. I pretend that I'm a hero. I pretend that I look forward to the future and that all the horrible stuff that happened in my past hasn't affected me at all."
"You lie to yourself, you mean."
"Pretend, lie, it all depends on your point of view," Ganner said dismissively. "The point is, you might be a twisted up ball of suffering on the inside, but why let everyone else know? What good is that going to do? Traest give you that whole 'how can I make my side stronger' speech, right? Well, what will make our side stronger? Making everyone else think we've got things under control so they have the confidence to get out there and save the galaxy? Or pushing everyone away, making them feel just as bad as you do, and having us all die miserable and lonely? If they're going to die, then at least make sure they die thinking that someone cares."
Jaina gave him a sidelong glance, not willing to let Ganner know that she was actually considering his words. "Right, because I'm sure bottling up all that emotion is just as healthy."
"Hey, who said anything about bottling up emotions?"
"But you just said…"
Ganner reached over to the turbolift controls and momentarily stopped the lift. "Jaina, do you really think I think of myself as a hero, an all powerful Jedi, or anything like that at all?"
"You certainly have the looks and the ego for that."
Ganner chuckled a mirthless chuckle and folded his arms in front of his chest, looking at the control panel. "True. And I'd like to think I'm a hero, a powerful Jedi, and everything in between. Because the alternative makes me look really pathetic. The alternative is that I'm in way over my head in a war that has already killed Jedi and heroes far greater than I could ever be. The alternative is that I don't deserve to continue on when so many people have died because I wasn't that hero I pretend I am."
"You're still fighting despite that, that's more than most people," Jaina said awkwardly, sensing the turbulent emotions radiating from the older Jedi.
Ganner shook his head and smiled wanly at Jedi. "Most people are smarter than me and would have run away screaming. Me, I'm too stupid to know any better. I keep thinking that if I actually become the hero I pretend to be, things will change for the better. And this goes back to the whole bottling of emotions you brought up. If I pretend to be okay, pretend to be a hero, people will just assume I am. If they ask, however, I'll honestly tell them what I feel."
"And that works?" Jaina said skeptically.
"Has so far. I just appear so happy that it never has happened," Ganner said, starting up the turbolift again. He smirked at Jaina, his eyes shining. "And now you know the secret to Ganner Rhysode, the hero of the galaxy. Up for that 'welcome back' party?"
"You're not going to leave me alone until I agree to go, aren't you?" Jaina said with a faint smile.
"Hey, the real Ganner Rhysode would be perfectly happy brooding with you in some dark corner of the ship. The fake Ganner Rhysode, on the other hand, well, he can be a bit of a pain."
"You're telling me." The turbolift doors slid open and they both stepped out. "Doesn't it get tiring though? Pretending that everything is okay?"
"Things aren't okay. I'm just pretending it's in my power to fix it." Ganner tapped the scar that ran down one side of his face. "Every time I look in the mirror, though, this is proof that I really don't. You have your scars too, Solo. They just aren't as visible as mine."
"What are you asking me to do at this party then? Grin and bear it?"
"Pretty much. You can keep your distance, but don't act like you're keeping your distance. In a galaxy as dark as the one we're in now, don't under estimate the power of a smile."
They reached the lounge door, and Jaina hesitated, her hand floating over the activation button for a second. She started to lower her hand, shaking her head. "No, I can't. I'm not in the mood for…"
Ganner took her hand and used it to activate the button. Through gritted teeth, he whispered down at her. "Again, it's not what you want, Solo. It's what's best for the unit. Smile and thank them for the party."
With all eyes on them, Jaina had no choice but to do as Ganner directed. "I'm going to get you for this, later."
Ganner smiled his winning smile, "I'm Ganner Rhysode, hero of the galaxy. Do your worst."
Jaina just gave him a look that had his confident smile falter. Smirking at that, she turned back to the other members of Rogue Squadron, recognizing a few as well as seeing a few new faces in the mix. She accepted a cup and did her best to be 'Jaina Solo, Jedi Knight and Pilot Extraordinaire'. If Ganner could wear a mask in public, she could to.
What surprised her most, however, was that as she pretended to be eager and grateful to rejoin the squad, she found herself enjoying, to a small degree, the welcome back. She listened to the stories of her former and now current squadmates, mingled with the newer pilots, and told stories of her own. In the lively atmosphere, she found herself relaxing to the point where she wasn't sure if she was faking her enjoyment or not.
Slightly startled by that thought, she glanced about the room for Ganner. The older Jedi had stepped back from the limelight, leaning against a wall away from the rest. Their eyes met, and he gave her a half-smile and tilt of his head, the emotions he had let her see in the turbolift reflecting in his blue-eyed gaze.
Swallowing heavily, Jaina returned the gesture and mouthed 'thank you'.
Maybe her stint with Rogue Squadron this time around wouldn't be as bad as she thought it would be.
[=][=]
Jacen Solo ran his free hand along the bulkhead of the cabin, the silken sheets beneath him cool against his sweat-slickened body.
"What are you thinking about, my dear friend?" Tenel Ka said fondly, her arms trapping his opposite limb between them.
"All the memories we've made in this ship," Jacen chuckled softly, leaning his head down to kiss the top of Tenel Ka's head. "And all the adventures yet to come."
"Fact. The Rock Dragon holds many fond memories for myself. I am especially appreciative of the more recent memories we've made," Tenel Ka remarked with a low, throaty chuckle in response. She shifted so that she was atop him, her toned body fully displayed for his viewing pleasure. "And of the memories we will be making very shortly."
Jacen swallowed involuntarily, drinking in the sight of his childhood best-friend and now lover like a lost man in a desert finding an oasis. She was still glowing from their earlier lovemaking, and her gray eyes reflected his desire. With his arms now free, he pulled the red-haired warrior woman down for another passionate kiss. One she returned wholeheartedly. Their bodies writhed against each other, their hands exploring, stroking. With their Force-bond fully open, they instinctively knew the other's wants and desires.
They were one mentally and spiritually, and as Tenel Ka rocked back onto him, physically as well. Their joint groans and moans of pleasure filled the cabin, their normally restrained passion let loose in wild abandon. The same stamina and prowess they showed on the battlefield was laser focused on one and other, the Force fueling their energy and taking them to new heights.
Much, much later, their climax washed over both, Tenel Ka crying out Jacen's name and squeezing one of his hands in her lone grip. He returned the pressure, groaning her name in response as their bodies stiffened. She slumped down against him, her body shuddering. He held her in turn, his own breathing ragged.
"I'm definitely going to look back at these memories very fondly," Jacen remarked with a trademark Solo-style smile.
Tenel Ka laughed against his chest, playfully swatting him. "You better."
Any further comment was cut off when the intercom chime activated.
"I thought you disabled it," Jacen managed, glancing in annoyance at the offending device.
"I did. Someone must have overrode the command I had in place," Tenel Ka replied.
"By whom though?" Jacen sighed as the chime rang again.
"We can just ignore it." Tenel Ka grumbled, not at all happy that her time with Jacen was interrupted. It was hard enough as it was trying to find alone time with him when the whole galaxy was engulfed in war. "It's probably my father again. I thought I had made my feelings clear the last time he interrupted us. I was obviously mistaken."
Then, without any further bidding, the intercom switched on. "Daughter, I know you are celebrating your surviving the Battle for Hapes, and your subsequent freedom from that world, but celebrating for four days straight is a bit excessive. Even for one with Hapan blood."
Tenel Ka glared death at the comm-pannel, her annoyance making her resort to extreme measures. "Father, I had disabled the comm-system for a reason. If you would like to hear in explicit detail what I have been doing these past few days, I will be more than willing to tell you. I am a fully grown adult and if I choose to spend my time engaging in a mind-blowing sexual marathon with Jacen, then that is my prerogative. Jacen Solo is an exceptionally skilled and very well equipped lover who is every bit my equal in all things. Please, continue to interrupt if you wish to hear more."
Rather than Isolder's voice coming over the speaker, a new voice chimed in with a mix between resigned and amused. "I am very glad to hear that the two of you have found happiness in each other's arms. But there are some things a mother just doesn't need to know about her son, Tenel Ka."
"Mom?" Jacen's eyes bulged, reflexively hugging Tenel Ka as if she was his shield.
"Ambassador Organa?" Tenel Ka likewise paled. "Apologies, I was unaware you were on the line."
"You two mind coming up for air? We have new marching orders we need to discuss."
"Errr…give us a few minutes," Jacen managed.
"We'll give you ten to shower and make yourselves presentable," Leia returned wryly.
"Thank you," Tenel Ka said weakly.
The line went dead, and both young adults groaned in embarrassment.
"I am not going to be able to look your mother in the eyes ever again."
"Like I'll be able to do the same with your dad?" Jacen returned. The two slid out of the bed and threw the sheets into the laundry hamper, where it joined several other sets, before heading to the refresher. "What was that about, telling him that I was 'exceptionally skilled'?"
"Just because he no longer has to worry about the affairs of state, doesn't mean he should focus that time on the affairs of his daughter. I was trying to give him a reason not to concern himself with my private life," Tenel Ka grumbled as they took a quick but thorough shower. Before they exited the refresher stall, Tenel Ka stopped him for a brief kiss, smirking as they parted. "Besides, you are."
A few minutes later, the both of them emerged from the cabin and into the cockpit of the Rock Dragon, only to find that they were no longer in the void of space but inside the hangar of Isolder's personal ship. It was a Beta Crusier he had been given by the new Queen Mothers as a 'thank you for your previous services to Hapes, please never return' gift—much like Tenel Ka's Rock Dragon—and one in turn Isolder had renamed the Singing Mountain. Sitting across from them in the hangar was the Falcon.
The fact that the Rock Dragon had been tractored without either of them realizing it only furthered the embarrassment Tenel Ka and Jacen were feeling. They opened the door out to the hangar, and that embarrassment factor increased exponentially. Leia was waiting on the hangar floor holding a comlink attached to R2-D2, and next to her was Isolder. But they weren't the only two present. It took every ounce of strength and discipline Tenel Ka and Jacen had to keep their faces impassive and to keep from burning up on the spot. With Isolder and Leia, were Han, Luke, Mara, C-3PO, Lando, Tendra, Anja, Lowbacca, Tekli, Tesar, and Danni Quee. A group of them were playing sabaac on several overturned crates, with Lando and Han giving pointers, Tekli was reading a datapad, and Lowbacca was soundly beating C-3PO at a portable dejarik table. When Tenel Ka and Jacen emerged, all eyes turned in their direction.
"All of you heard that…" Jacen said faintly.
"Yeah," Mara, closest to the pair, answered dryly. "All of us."
Leia, Han, Luke, and Isolder had a myriad of emotions reflected in their bemused gaze. Lando and Tendra gave the couple supportive smiles. Lowbacca, Tekli, and Tesar sent their happiness for the two of them through their Myrkr bond. And Anja and Danni were eyeing Jacen in a way that had Tenel Ka stiffen in almost undetectable manner. Before Tenel Ka could get it in her mind to mentally massacre the two, Jacen adeptly changed the subject. "You mentioned something about marching orders?"
"The New Republic government has managed to come up with a game plan with the refugee situation," Leia nodded. "But like usual, there are things happening behind the scenes."
In the background, Jacen heard C-3PO praise Lowbacca. "Congratulations, Lowbacca, you have bested me three times in a row. I am apparently no match for you."
"How bad is it?" Jacen asked.
"Put it this way," Han answered. "Pwoe is calling on all the Jedi to 'do their duty to protect the people' and having them stage themselves at Borleias."
"Chief of State Pwoe? The one who probably has ties to the Peace Brigade and is anti-Jedi in every way a guy can be, Pwoe?"
"Yeah. Like your mom said, things are happening behind the scenes."
"So why are we all in the hangar?"
"We're actually waiting for Talon Karrde," Lando answered."We'll talk more once we're on his ship."
"And speak of the bantha, here he is," Tendra pointed out the mag-con field at an unassuming transport that had just emerged from hyperspace. Before their eyes, a handful of other vessels of equally nondescript nature emerged. The last to arrive was a dark red Star Destroyer, its triangular prow casting a shadow over all the others.
A quick shuttle ride later, and the entire gang was camped out in the spacious lounge of Talon Karrde's flagship, the Wild Karrde. A very expensive, military grade, multi-channel holo-communication's terminal projected the images of nearly two dozen individuals all around the table.
"Gentlemen and women, and I use those titles loosely, thank you all for agreeing to participate in this meeting," Talon Karrde said evenly. "All of you are either people I trust with my life, or have been vouched for by Booster, so it goes without saying that nothing said in this meeting is discussed with anyone else."
"Get to the point, Karrde. Time is money," one of those present said not quite jokingly.
"For the point, I will cede the floor to Leia Organa Solo, whom naturally needs no further introduction."
"Thank you, Talon," Leia said with a diplomatic smile. She then addressed the gathered images of smugglers, meeting each of them with her keen brown gaze. "To begin with, I would like to thank all of you for the supplies you've been donating to the refugees. Regardless of your reasons, you have risked life and limb to provide for the refugees and those supplies and your efforts have alleviated the suffering of countless billions."
"What's the ask, Solo?" Shada D'ukal, Talon's right-hand woman questioned, inclining her head in acknowledgment of her words.
"The New Republic government has directed all combat-capable Jedi to Borleias to help with the refugees. They have done so in a way that will reflect very negatively on the Jedi Order should the Order refuse," Leia began.
"Similarly, myself and a majority of Fleet Group Three have been assigned to Borleias," General Wedge Antilles added, his hologram flickering. "In negotiating the materiel for the assignment, the Office of the Chief of State has basically granted everything I've asked for. This includes the Lusankya."
Wedge's announcement had all the smugglers narrow their eyes or curse under their breaths.
"What will you have us do, then? We're business people, not soldiers," Samuel Gillespee said. He was one of Talon's people who had repeatedly retired, only to get caught up in galactic events every single time he did.
Leia calmly met the man's gaze. "I'm proposing an alliance between the Jedi Order, the Smuggler's Alliance, and select members of the New Republic. Something independent of the current New Republic government and unbound by the traditions and laws it contains."
"Go on," Shada gestured, the other members of the Smuggler's Alliance and Booster's Organization looking very interested.
"We won't be declaring ourselves a separate government and marching off to fight the Yuuzhan Vong on our own. We'll still be a part of the New Republic, but working on the inside. A secret resistance within dedicated to keep it from falling. I know that not all of you are a fan of the government, and that's okay. As Samuel said, you're business people and you have a bottom line to protect. If the Yuuzhan Vong win, there won't be any bottom line. Think of your participation like an investment. A stable galaxy is good business. And for better or worse, the galaxy can only be stable if there is a government like the New Republic to keep it running."
"And how wjill we do that?" Bodwae, one of Booster's people, spoke, his species' characteristic accent present.
Leia acknowledged him with a nod. "We'll operate independently from the government, trusting each other, recruiting only those you'd trust with your life. Secret units, caches, and bases all outside New Republic High Command. General Antilles will recruit trusted, likeminded members of the military and act as a foot-in-the-door for the New Republic government. The Jedi Order will provide advice and specialized labor. And the Smuggler's Alliance will provide the supplies and logistics needed for this alliance to work."
Luke stepped up next to his sister, unhooked his lightsaber, and placed it onto the holotable. "The Jedi Order is willing to trust our lightsaber with any of you. In turn, we hope you will extend to us the same trust to us for the good of the galaxy."
Wedge unhosltered his blaster and placed it next to the holographic representation of Luke's saber. It was a mostly symbolic action as he had already agreed to the idea of the new alliance prior to the meeting. "It is clear that the current administration believes this war is already lost. But I know I speak for the other fleets when I say that New Republic Fleet Command still has a lot of fight in it left. I'll touch base with Kre'fey and Garm Bel Iblis and my wife will work the Intelligence side of things. I'm in."
"The boss is already involved in this more than he wants, but you can count on the support of his organization," one of Booster's Noghri lieutenants stated. He drew a deadly-looking knife and set it down next to the other two weapons.
Talon Karrde looked to his people. "I'm not making this mandatory. I know it's more than what you signed up for, so if you want to take your ship and start your own group, go ahead. The Wild Karrde is going all in though, and I hope I have the pleasure of your continued company."
"Was there any question? The Idiot's Array is in too," Shada remarked, smirking fondly at Talon.
"The Lastri's Ort is in too. I'd feel guilty if I ran away with your biggest ship, Talon," its captain, Aves, smiled jovially.
Talon couldn't help but feel a swell of emotion as his captains, one by one, declared their intention to continue to follow him. When the last of his people assented with a grin, Talon chuckled and looked over to Leia. "It looks like the Smuggler's Alliance is in too. Although, if we all have to put our weapons on the table to make a point, we're going to need a bigger table."
Leia smiled, her eyes sparkling. "That's okay, Talon. It's the thought that counts."
"What's our next move?"
"Wedge," Leia motioned.
"Because the Advisory Council is being nice enough to give me whatever I'm asking for, I'm going to start diverting some the extras already. There's no question that the Vong are going to hit Borleias hard. The refugee ships outnumber the military ships five to one, and those odds are growing bigger every day. What we have to do is plan for a post-Borleias galaxy. Provided myself and the Jedi don't get ourselves pasted in the battle, the Yuuzhan Vong will have lost big time. I'll try to string out the battle for the world as long as I can. In the meantime, I'm going to need to count on your people, Talon, to take care of the refugees and help set up the units I'll be redirecting."
"Not to jinx you or anything, General, but what will happen if you and the Jedi do get pasted?"
Wedge smiled faintly. "If that happens, then the rest of the galaxy is truly forked. Hopefully someone else will pick up the torch and run with it, and you'll give that someone your support. But let's not go there yet."
"Thank you all," Leia inclined her head.
"So what's this new group going to be called? The Rebel Alliance Redux?" Joked one of the smugglers.
Leia's eyes glimmered mischievously. "Given how we will be working within the government, for the government, with only our most trusted friends and family in the know, how about the 'Insiders?'"
Heads bobbed in agreement, smiles all around.
"So be it," Leia said firmly, matching their determination with a steely gaze. "Now let's get out there and save the galaxy."
[=][=]
Zekk was running, his lungs burning as he gasped for air. His feet were bare, cut, bleeding, but he no longer felt it. The cold air bit at his flesh, the harsh terrain shredding his skin. But still he ran. He could hear his pursuers, knew what awaited him if he was caught again. He had no idea what Vergere was plotting, but he knew that if he failed to reach the place she had told him about, he'd spend more time in the Embrace of Pain. He had had enough of that device for several lifetimes, and after the last time he had failed to escape, had no intention of returning.
Even then, he had his biological limits. Having been suspended and kept in pain for who knew how long, his body was far from being in any condition for a prolonged flight. He saw a small crevice between several downed skyscrapers and dove into it just as several Yuuzhan Vong gliders began making a pass of the area.
His heart still hammering against his ribs, Zekk tried to use the few moments of rest to regain his equilibrium. He heard a sound and opened his eyes. As they adjusted to the darkness of the area he had just dived into, he realized he wasn't the only one present. There was a group of young-looking individuals who couldn't have been older than he was, and a quintet of children. They were staring at him, his own fear reflected in their wide-eyed gaze.
"Come out, Jeedai! You cannot win!" A Yuuzhan Vong voice called out from nearby. Never before could Zekk have imagined the sound of booted feet crunching the debris-strewn ground be so menacing.
The others hiding in the ground stared at Zekk in a new light. So distracted was Zekk by the nearby Yuuzhan Vong patrol that he didn't catch a traitorous thought until just before it was acted on.
If all they want is the Jedi, they'll leave after he's gone…
"He'd down here!" One of the children cried out. "Hurry, the Jedi is down here!"
The others scrambled further into the ruins, their footsteps barely audible over the stampede of Yuuzhan Vong racing towards their location. Zekk swore and pushed himself off the ground, scrambling after the frightened group. Seeing that he was following them, however, one of them grabbed a piece of rebar from nearby and hurled it in his direction. He ducked and it clattered loudly against the ruined duracrete, clanging to the ground in an overly large fashion.
Up ahead, a section of the ceiling caved in, the giant maw of one of the debris-eating Yuuzhan Vong worms visible for a few horrifying seconds before it pulled back. Sunlight streamed in through the gap, illuminating several of the older fleeing individuals. Then a giant hand reached in and grabbed them, pulling them out of sight, their screams dying away. Yuuzhan Vong flooded through yet another opening, grabbing a bunch more. Everywhere one looked, the frightened survivors were being nabbed. Fortunately or not, the children were too small to grab and were making a beeline for the depths of the building. Another hole in the roof opened, reminding Zekk that he needed to keep running.
He started to catch up to the children, the warriors hot on their heels. Up ahead was a ventilation duct, the children already in the process of scrambling into it.
"No, wait!" Zekk called out. He felt the desperation of the last child into the vent. The child grabbed hold of the vent covering and started to pull it down to seal it. Zekk glanced frantically over his shoulder and saw that the Yuuzhan Vong would be on him shortly. "No!"
Fury that he had long thought he had put aside bubbled over. There was no way he was going to spend any more length of time in the Embrace of Pain. Especially not because of some little kid in his way.
"No!" Zekk yelled, he held out his hand and called upon his power. The vent hatch was ripped out of its placement and sent hurling towards the Yuuzhan Vong behind him. The last child was still gripping the handle and Zekk had a glimpse of terrified eyes as the hatch fly by. But he didn't even take the time to process that, his body already moving on instinct.
Away from the pain, away from the Yuuzhan Vong.
He scrambled through the vent on bloodied elbows and knees, again hearing his own ragged breathing. He lost track of which way he was going, randomly following the air-vents for some period of time and praying to the Force to not lead him astray. Eventually, he began to slow. All he knew was that he could no longer hear the Yuuzhan Vong, hear the patter of other people running. He was just about to take a moment to relax, when the vent gave way completely. He cried out hoarsely as he dropped a good distance, landing with bone-jarring force on the ground, and then rolling down a flight of stairs. When his painful trip was finally ended by the bottom of the stairs, Zekk let out a wheezing rasp and flopped to his back. Darkness encroached in his field of vision, but he stubbornly resisted the urge to rest. The last thing he wanted to do was give in and be caught by the Vong while napping. Not after everything he had been through.
A soft cackling sent a chill down Zekk's spine. "Good, good."
Zekk looked back up the stairwell and saw the slender figure of the Fosh Force-user standing at the top peering down at him. "Vergere."
"You've finished it," Vergere clapped almost sarcastically. "You made it out. How do you feel?"
"I hurt," Zekk stated dryly, coughing and turning over to his side to spit out a glob of blood. "Every where."
"Compared to the Embrace of Pain, it is nothing though, is it not?" Vergere descended the stairs and crouched down next to Zekk. "Being alive hurts, has its costs. For you to be living, free of worry, others must suffer in your place."
Zekk's mind flashed back to the survivors that had hidden in the building. To the kid he had hurled out of the way in his mad dash for freedom. Guilt immediately began to build, his face paling. He flopped back to his back, covering his face with his hands. "What have I done?"
"You simply did what any sane, living, creature would do," Vergere said consolingly. "You shied away from pain and capture. Just as they did."
"It was dark to sacrifice them like that. I should have helped them. I was the reason why they were endangered in the first place."
"Was what the child did dark? He was willing to sacrifice you to save himself. How is what that child did any different than what you did?"
"He was scared, for his life and those of his friends."
"As were you."
"He was younger."
"So you say age can excuse any act of darkness?"
"No…yes…" Zekk groaned.
"When you were in the Shadow Academy, you were young. By your argument, you truly did no wrong when you were the 'Darkest Knight,'" Vergere used the title patronizingly.
"That's not the same. At the time I chose the dark side willingly thinking it was the more powerful side of the Force. I thought it could give me the family I had always wanted. I realized my mistake before I could go too far. That kid…he just wanted to live. There was no malicious intent."
"No malicious intent, yet he knew what would happen to you if you couldn't escape. Wasn't he willingly choosing the dark side by shutting the hatch anyway? Why did you not give him a chance to 'realize his mistake'?"
"What he did and what I've done are not…"
"And what of Kyp Durron. You told me much about him in our time together. Told me how he is walking that narrow path to the dark side without even realizing it because he chooses war over inaction. Did he not destroy several star systems, murdered billions, and follow the guidance of a long dead Sith Lord? He was young, like you. Thought the dark side would be the answer he was searching for."
"He turned away from it."
"Oh? So professing to turn away from the dark side will excuse any crimes you may have committed in its name? I could drain the life-forces of entire planets, kill for fun, and when caught, claim to have seen the error of my ways and be excused for my actions? Doesn't that make the Jedi truly dark then? What of the justice for those I killed? Will not the rest of the galaxy look at me and say 'there goes a murderer whom the Jedi Order let go free'?"
"The Jedi believe in redemption," Zekk exhaled wheezingly. "If you've truly seen the error of your ways, then the deaths of all those you caused, all the suffering you inflicted, will haunt you for the rest of your days. That is punishment enough."
"How convenient," Vergere chirped, sitting on the lowest stair step. Her next question threw Zekk off. "What do you think haunts a dark Jedi?"
"What?"
"Is it your stance that only Jedi who follow the light have demons that haunt them?"
"No, of course not."
"Then if someone who turns back to the light is haunted by everything they did, what will someone who turns to the dark be haunted by? What makes one fall—to use your vernacular—if the light is so virtuous? What were you haunted by as the Darkest Knight?"
Zekk swallowed heavily, by now used to Vergere's line of questioning. He started to respond, thought about his answer, and fell silent for a long moment. In that time, Vergere remained seated where she was, not saying anything. He turned to face her, his face sallow and drawn. "I was haunted by never being good enough. Never being strong enough."
"Enough to what?"
"To…protect what I cared for…who I cared for. Peckhum had given me so much, sacrificed so much for me…I wanted to help him. But when I got to the Shadow Academy I realized just how weak I actually was. I had to get stronger, to get better…"
"And that ambition was dark?"
"How I went about doing it was."
"So the means were dark but your end goal was not?" Vergere cocked her head to the side. "Kyp Durron destroyed solar systems to prevent bad people from hurting anyone else. Who's to say he didn't kill the future Vader or Palpatine?"
"Just because you think your goal is just doesn't excuse your actions."
"The child you killed to escape. You wished to live on, pain free. Are you saying that your desire to live was dark?"
"You can't equate killing one person to destroying entire solar systems!"
"Why not?" Vergere asked in amusement. "Maybe the child you killed would have been hardened by his survival on a Yuuzhan Vong occupied world, grown up to be one of the Republic's greatest leaders. Maybe one of the others you sacrificed to escape the hunting units had volunteered to stay behind to look after complete strangers. Are you saying their lives, their potential, are less important than the billions Durron killed? Or are you just saying that because it was you who caused their deaths and not this legendary, mass-murderer?"
"I…"
"When the mass-murderer decided to accept the advice of a long-dead Sith Lord, what do you think he was haunted by? Why did he accept that power? From what you told me, he did so to avenge his family, to protect others. Is that not a noble cause?"
"It is, but he was tricked by the spirit. Seduced by the dark side."
"Now you're just parroting the words of others," Vergere waved a hand dismissively. "Tell me, what's the difference between this Kyp Durron and say…Vader? Both were mass-murderers who killed to make the galaxy better in their point of view. Do they not deserve the same fate?"
"No. There are some people who are truly evil. Vader, like Durron, had his thoughts twisted by someone truly evil. He proved that he wasn't lost when he saved Grandmaster Skywalker from that Sith Lord."
"You speak of Palpatine?"
"Yes. He killed so many Jedi, started a war so he could rule the galaxy."
"Was that truly the reason why?"
"Why what? Why else?"
"I served under Palpatine you know," Vergere said matter-of-factly. "Aided him long before the Clone Wars began."
Zekk was floored by that response. "You did?"
"Yes," Vergere idly gestured motes of dust and dirt swirled around the air. "Of course, I learned that he was a megalomaniac with delusions of becoming the very manifestation of the dark side of the Force and tried to assassinate him. I tried to kill him and failed. If I had succeeded, knowing what you know about Palpatine now, would my act have been evil? Would it have been a sign that I am a 'dark Jedi'?"
"Yes, murder is not..."
"Even though he went on to kill so many people because of my failure? Had I stopped him, wouldn't I have been lauded as a hero? If he was truly evil, as you say, then what would have been darker, letting him live, or killing him?"
Zekk felt his head throb, whether from the argument or the impact from the floor, he wasn't sure. "He did have to be stopped. But he could have been arrested, brought to trial."
"What is a trial but society's way of justifying their treatment of those they disagree with?" Vergere asked rhetorically. "Given the support Palpatine had, do you truly believe he would have been convicted?"
"He would have, he was an evil man."
"From a certain point of view, perhaps. From his point of view, from the point of view of all who followed him, it was the Jedi who were evil."
"How could the Jedi be evil?"
"You mean apart from letting mass-murderers into their ranks, letting them lead the Order, and turning a blind eye to sufferings that won't publically elevate their position in the eyes of the galaxy?"
"Jedi don't turn a blind eye to suffering."
"Then where are the Jedi in this war?" Vergere smiled enigmatically. "Why are the only Jedi who are leading the fight in this war the ones who've either committed mass-murder or have been accused of the act? Why does your vaunted Grandmaster, paragon of the light, hide away as worlds burn and people suffer?"
"Jedi aren't soldiers. Acts of violence are acts of the dark side."
"And you, in your many years, know all about the dark side?" Vergere scoffed mockingly. "So you would stay your hand, even if not acting violently causes more deaths?"
Zekk fell silent again, unable to hold her gaze. "Aggression is a dark side trait."
"So is fear. To quote someone who was once called the wisest Jedi of his era, 'fear leads to suffering, suffering leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to the dark side'. If the Jedi fear something to such an extent that it causes galaxy-wide suffering, if their fear and inaction incites people across the galaxy to form a group to turn in the very people sworn to protect them, if whole systems are cursing your name, and all of this is done in the name of the 'light' what does that mean?"
Zekk felt his heart nearly skip a beat at the conclusion he came to. It was impossible and went against everything he had thought of the Force. If the Embrace of Pain had taught him anything, it was that there was such a thing as absolutes—pain and no pain, whiteness and blackness. Yet, Vergere's words had logic. His own actions proved her point. As insane as he considered himself for even considering her words, as much as he didn't want to voice his thoughts, the answer was right in front of him.
He tried to work some saliva in his suddenly dry mouth. He spoke aloud, trying to order his thoughts. "The dark side and light side…if one can't exist without the other, they are the same."
"You were once deafened," Vergere whispered, reaching down to rest a hand on Zekk. "Now at last, you can hear."
For the first time in what seemed like forever, Zekk felt no pain. But he barely paid attention to it as his revelation continued to send his thoughts in a loop. "Intentions are nothing without the means. Even if we intend to remain in the light and protect people, if our actions are causing the opposite, then our intentions are meaningless. If denying a part of the Force only leads to more suffering…even if that part of the Force is dark, its use is justified."
"Broken no longer," tears dripped from Vergere's eyes onto Zekk's open wounds. "Soon to be whole."
"The dark side can be used for good, and the light for evil. It's fear that keeps the Jedi from using it. Is what kept me from using it."
"And at last, you could see," Vergere murmured, taking Zekk's head into her lap. "Rest now. Your real journey has only just begun."
[=] Chapter End[=]
A\N: Next chapter will be up when the Rebel Dream story arc is complete (currently working on chapter 3 of 10).
