CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
(BPOV)
Emily made the rest of the afternoon fun and we baked well over four dozen chocolate chip cookies. By the time we were finishing up, we were certainly a sight to see. Both of us were caked in flour and our hands sticky while Clarissa played happily in her bouncer seat, the sound of her giggling causing us to erupt into a fit of our own laughter more than just once.
Despite the anxiety still coursing through me, I thoroughly enjoyed myself and couldn't recall a time when I had laughed so hard.
"I'm gonna have to have you over a lot more often!" Emily offered, quickly placing the last batch of cookies in the preheated oven and looking at the mess our afternoon of baking had created.
"This was so much fun, Emily. I'd love to come over again soon. I haven't cooked like this in a long time and I forgot how much I loved it. You've inspired me!"
Emily smiled warmly my way and gave me a hug then, her words sincere with her reply.
"I've missed you so much around here. I need another wolf girl back in my corner. Lilly and I were close, too, of course, but she wasn't much for baking things from scratch. She tried though and that's what counted. God bless her soul. It was hard for me to keep the pack secret from her, but we found our unique ways around it. She assumed some of what happened between Leah and myself and we didn't tell her the difference at Jacobs request. She really did help to mend that for us."
I slowly stirred the remaining batter in the white mixing bowl and noticed the way Emily's gaze went misty when she spoke of her.
"I'm sorry that you lost her, Emily. I know she was loved by so many. She was beautiful. From what I hear, Jake made a good choice with her for sure." I replied, spooning out the remaining dough to make barely another half dozen while Emily stopped her cleanup at my words, the saddened look on her face being replaced with one of confusion.
"She was beautiful. She had a sweet soul about her but she struggled a bit after Clarissa was born. I think she may have had a case of post partum going on for a good bit. It was hard on them. Their relationship struggled, but you know Jacob, ever true as he is."
"Yeah, that's for sure." I agreed, helping her pile the pans in the sink and beginning to rinse them for the dishwasher.
"Bella, I hope you know we missed you, too." Emily softly added, placing her hand over mine when I reached for the dish soap. I stilled at this, her gaze nothing but sincere when it caught my own.
"Well, I kinda' disappeared so-..." I timidly countered.
"You were miles away, yes, but certainly not forgotten. Even Paul missed having ya' around. He's grown a lot since his delinquent years. He even has a long time relationship going with a girl on the Reservation he met a few Summers back."
"Oh, really?"
"Yes, he's pretty serious about her, too. I think he may pop the question to her before much longer. Probably waiting for Christmas to roll around. Holidays tend to bring that out in people." Emily chuckled.
"They can-..."
Emily started to wipe down the counters and I knew she heard the unease in my tone.
"Tell me more about Maine and if you've got a hot doctor back home waiting for you?" She innocently asked and I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes to her in response.
If I heard that question one more time...
"Nope, there's really and truly nothing to tell. No hot guy or on call doctor waiting for me to kiss him under the mistletoe or light his Christmas tree this year. Well, actually, not for any of the years before this one either."
"Oh, come on now. I don't buy that for a minute, Bella. You're very beautiful and you have a career. You're well educated. Surely, someone has snatched you up by now."
"I tell you no lies, Emily. I'm just simply too busy to have any kind of romance in my life these days. Work is a lot and my job doesn't leave me a whole lot of free time. When I'm not on the clock, I'm usually catching up on my sleep."
Emily looked truly saddened at this and I dismissively chuckled to her with a wave of my hand.
"Are you being serious?" She disbelievingly questioned.
"Yes, I am but you don't need to be sad for me. Really, it's okay. I'm fine with it."
"Bella, you may be a great cook and smart as hell but you're not a very good liar. That much I can tell you." Emily bemused, plating the batched of cookies with a raised eyebrow at me.
"Emily, there's just no time. That's all."
"You have to make time."
I shook my head and looked away from her, refocusing my attention on the kitchen mess.
"I'm fine."
"You're beautiful and alone. That's not fine. Don't you want someone to be with?"
"There's no one that's caught my attention for long."
Emily sighed heavily and took the dish I was washing out of my hand.
"You know, I've been standing here debating on whether or not to tell you this, but Sam's friend Gentry is coming to town next week. He's almost thirty and a great guy. Not too mention, he's a looker. He has a farm up in the countryside. He lives a few hours from us, so we don't see him as much as we did a few years back, but he and Sam are still very close."
I looked to her in shock while she put her match making skills to good use on me or tried to anyway.
"I can't believe this." I half laughed. "Between you and my dad-..."
"Your father has met him a few times before! They went out fishing last Spring during his visit. He likes him." Emily added then for good measure.
"Oh, that's perfect." I teasingly went along. "Sure, you can call him right up and we'll go out next Friday! Who knows, if all goes well, I may even end up hitched before I go back to Maine."
Emily caught my sarcastic tone and placed her hand on her hips with a laugh.
"Fine, be stubborn, but I'm not quitting that easily" A great catch like yourself needs someone."
"I have all I need back home and family who loves me here. What else could a girl ask for."
"Someone to keep her warm at night." Emily hastily countered, her innocent reply making the memory of Jacob staying with me a few nights ago resurface.
I damn near dropped the plate in my soapy hands then and saw her knowing smirk linger on Emily's face in return.
"Stop that." I playfully scolded. "We have to finish these up before the pack get back here."
"Oh well, it looks like we're too late cause here they come." Emily replied, gesturing to the front door as the sound of pounding feet came hammering down on her front porch like a stampede. I merely shrugged and tried to ignore the churning in my stomach as I thought of the conversation I knew was about to happen with Jacob.
Our friendship had been through a lot over the years and in all the time I'd known him, I had never seen him look as timid and fearful as he did when he trudged in behind Sam and Paul.
They all reached for the cookies at once and I smiled at the sight of Emily trying to slap awau their hands for anyone who took more than two at a time.
"Don't be such animals! Use your manors, would you?" She harshly told them with the hint of a smile still play on her lips. She loved being their pack mama and it sincerely suited her in every way.
Paul and Seth greeted me first, their unexpected bear hugs making me gasp when they picked me up like I weighed nothing, lifting me off my feet with their enthusiasm. It was jostling and I couldn't hide the blush that spread to my cheeks when Jacob's gaze met mine and he spoke up to them.
"Hey, Hey...-careful. Be easy with her. She's not a toy to be passed around."
Paul didn't even bother to pretend that he heard Jacobs warning, earning himself a good shove to his shoulder from Seth.
"Ease up, bro. For real." Seth sighed. "We don't wanna send her back to Maine broken, dude."
I smiled at them when they released me then and piled the freshly washed dishes on the counter for Emily to put away later.
Jacob picked up Clarissa and kissed her cheek, his anxious and darkened gaze lingering on mine when he nodded towards the front door.
"Thank you for today, Emily. I really enjoyed it. We should do it again soon? Maybe this weekend?"
"That sounds great. Come by on Saturday morning with Jacob and we can pies this time." She eagerly replied, wrapping me in a close hug as I waved goodbye to all the others still stuffing their faces with our cookies and followed Jacob outside.
He was silent when he secured Clarissa in her car seat and took his place on the passenger side. Once we were nearly back to his place, he finally broke his silence and spoke.
"Emily's truly happy you're back, Bella. She always liked you."
"I loved having time with her. How did the meeting go?"
"It went, honey." He replied. "Come with me inside?"
I pulled into the drive and put us in park, my heart lodging into my throat from his request.
He noticed my hesitation and reached out for my hand.
"I don't know-..."
"It's okay, Bells."
I nervously followed him into the house then and felt the emptiness of the place grip me hard when I noticed how much he'd cleared out from the donation drop off he'd done earlier.
"I'm gonna lay Clarissa down for a nap. Please, sit down. I'll be out in a minute." He assured me, heading down the narrow hall with her.
I stood there feeling the color drain from my face as I glanced around at the clutter still left from his sorting, my eyes welling with tears at the stack of photos from Lilly's funeral that laid on his coffee table. It felt wrong to even be in here with him and I stepped back outside, trying to drag the cold air into my lungs as I waited for him to return.
I soon heard the door creak behind me as I stared out ahead at the snowy trees and waited for him to say something, my whole body now shivering from the cold.
Jacob stepped out with a blanket in hand and handed it to me with an understanding gaze.
"I'm sorry this is hard for you to be here."
"I feel like I shouldn't be-..." I admitted.
"I don't know where to start with this, Bells." He hoarsely sighed, his eyes filling with a tangible dread when he peered down at me.
"How about we try it from the beginning? See where it leads? We've had some hard times in our friendship, you know? I don't think this can be any worse than some of what we've already endured?"
"It is, honey. It is."
A/N: Third and shorter update coming soon! Thank you for reading!
