Chapter 20

"No, being an only child is horrible Sasuke and worse is being an orphan; you should know this!" Sakura snapped at him as she stood in the kitchen. This was their first real fight in over a year and their near two year old was mutely sitting on the counter munching on some tomatoes and hugging her panda. Sakura wanted more children; Sasuke was firmly against it because of 'Sarada's genetic potential' and he knew what that would entail. Personally, she thought he was being ridiculous but she was keeping that bit of information to herself as she diced the vegetables for dinner.

"Yes, but to have another Uchiha is painful!" Sasuke argued flatly and they glared at one another as she continued her prepping of dinner. She was not backing down in this matter, she did not want her daughter to be an only child. It was horribly lonely and she remembered always craving to have a sibling. Besides, more children would be good for Sasuke so he couldn't spoil Sarada rotten to the core. That was about the last thing she wanted to deal with; a spoiled daughter.

Granted they weren't very good at spoiling Sarada but she didn't want her daughter to be like some of the single children she had known at the Academy; including herself and the current ass she was married to; and think the entire world revolved around her because she was the only one it. But it appeared this argument was flying right over Sasuke's head. And she didn't care, because even if she had to make him sleep on the couch for the week they were together he was not getting out of this argument without a real, valid reason for not wanting a second child. If he could conjure a legitimate reason then she would consider letting him have his way. But it had better be a damn good reason, and she wasn't telling Sasuke about this part because if she did tell him then he'd actually think up legitimate reasons.

And while she understood Uchihas were not loving creatures by nature she was not going to let him get off with that as a valid excuse. He'd have to think real hard about it before she agreed with his 'no more children' decree. If he didn't have a valid excuse then too bad, she was going to convince him she was right in this matter. Besides that there was also the saying 'happy wife, happy life' and that seemed to be slipping Sasuke's prerogative at this moment. But she was going to remind him, once she was done letting him stew for a long while.

"That is not a valid reason and we both know it Sasuke, and besides they'd be half Haruno and Harunos do not hate!" she snapped at him, his eyes narrowed dangerously on her. She merely slammed her knife through a head of lettuce rather violet to let out some frustration in this conversation.

"The eyes, they'll need to take one another's eyes if they master the Sharingan; do you want that?" he snapped and her eyes narrowed on him. She knew all too well the Uchiha stories; her husband had reluctantly told her a few when she prodded him and she had done some serious snooping when she had been alone in the Uchiha compound. She knew all too well what he was referring too but that, and she was certain of this; that was nothing a little science couldn't fix. She was certain the Uchihas would not need to continue the horrid tradition of 'stealing the eyes' of their kinsman. And she wouldn't let her children be corrupted by the hatred of the Uchihas; even if that meant strangling her mule headed husband. The ass!

"I know, I read Madara's scripts, but Sasuke you'd be amazed at what science can accomplish!" Sakura pointed out thinking of Naruto's prosthetic arm.

"Sakura! Do you know how much pain is involved with that ritual!?" he demanded sharply and desperately.

"A lot, I imagine," she replied icily as she was still tempted to skewer her husband with the knife in her fingers. He was being irrational about this and couldn't he see the good having a sibling would do Sarada.

"It's excruciating Sakura, and would you willingly force our daughter and this hypothetical sibling hurt one another to the point of ripping one another's eyes out of their heads was the only way they could keep their sight? I wouldn't!" he snapped and she sighed.

"Again, you'd be amazed with science today Sasuke!" she argued back.

"We are not having another child Sakura and that is final! Sarada does not need to suffer anymore and having a sibling is just inviting pain and hatred of the Uchihas!" Sasuke roared at her as he stormed out of the house. Sarada whimpered and Sakura bit her lip then as she lowered the knife and fought back the tears of this argument. There was no reason for them to worry about this right now, there just wasn't any reason to worry about this right now.

Sasuke wouldn't leave them, he'd return. But it was obvious his temper needed to cool off. She set her knife down then grabbed her baby as she slid to the kitchen floor and sobbed, Sarada wailed with her as they sat there. There was nothing more she could do for her baby, and she wasn't going to stoop so low as to betray her husband, the only man who she had ever loved; and betray their vows just to have another baby.

But oh how she wanted more children and Sasuke was such a great father you'd have thought he'd want more children but it appeared she was wrong in that assumption. Kissing Sarada's brow she rocked them both and hoped she had driven Sasuke away from them, for she had rarely seen him so mad in their entire marriage. But he was wrong in this matter, and she knew it as she let her tears fall while hugging Sarada.

He did not ever want to have this discussion with Sakura, but a part of him did know she was right. Being an only child or an orphan was unbelievably lonely. However he did not want his children to endure the pain he had endured from having a brother. After all, these were Itachi's eyes; it was the only way he had been able to keep his sight. Which was not something he wanted his children to ever experience. It was a unique brand of hell and a unique brand of pain which Sakura knew nothing about because she had never felt the hate he had felt.

And he would never wish that hatred upon her.

But there were times he desperately wished she did not have the empathy she had to understand the pain but not truly understand the depth of the pain. It was probably because Sakura did not hate, and he knew it and so did she. If one did not hate then they could not understand the pain of losing that which one loved. Sasuke sighed as he stalked out of the small village they resided in and came to the forest. Looking around he just felt like lashing out but refrained.

He had learned that lashing out did not solve the problem and decided to think about Sakura's point of view in this matter rather than his own.

True siblings had a tendency to balance out one another but there was also the possibility of favoritism. Sasuke remembered all too well how nothing he did could please his father because he was not Itachi; he remembered the pain and disappointment of that neglect. It had been as if he were starving for something but he hadn't been receiving anything to relieve the hunger. His father hadn't ever tried, and Sasuke didn't want that to happen with his own children. And if having multiple children caused that problem then there was no way in hell he was ever having another child.

But he did want a larger family, he knew this, and it conflicted him because there his wife was offering that which he so desperately wanted and it terrified him. Kami did it ever terrify him. And he couldn't even seem convey in words how terrifying and tempting her offer was.

And he didn't know if he could ever tell her.

It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her that he wanted what she was offering. For he did, and he wanted it so desperately he nearly jumped at the chance. But at the same time he didn't want it out of the fear of it being more pain that his children deserved, and another of his greedy decisions which would lead to more hatred than this world needed. He never wanted Sarada to know pain or hatred like he had; pain was inevitable, but hatred was something she didn't need to learn about; ever. And he did not think Sakura knew how much hatred ran in the blood of his family.

He just sighed as he leaned against a tree and sunk to the grassy ground and closed his eyes. If only there was a way to tell Sakura just how much he wanted what she offered and how much it terrified him. Well, he'd tell her just that, he decided as he stood up after a few hours. The sun was long gone, and he regretted leaving his wife to stew over this for a while but he had needed to gather his wits. Quietly he walked home, he took the backdoor which he knew to be unlocked out of habit. After all they were shinobi, it was very unlikely they couldn't handle an intruder should they come into their home.

Silently he walked into the dark house, he wasn't shocked to see a plate, covered, and sitting in his place at the table with a note from his wife. But he wasn't hungry as he slipped the note in his pocket and the dinner in the fridge to eat it tomorrow. He peeked in on their daughter, she was sleeping with her panda and looked so happy and relaxed. Rubbing his brow he decided to talk to Sakura, slipping the door shut he quietly walked to their room. Sliding the door open he saw her laying on her stomach on their bed, quickly; before he lost his nerve he walked over to her.

She didn't wake, but she appeared to be utterly exhausted, and he could see the tears staining her face as she slept. Gently he moved her pink locks aside as he looked at her face and then he gently shook her awake. Green eyes wearily opened and for a moment they just stared at one another. He opened his mouth before she could ask him what he wanted.

"It is not that I do not want more children Sakura, I do not want them to hatred and my clan is cursed with it. Hatred is something which flows through our veins and consumes us; I do not want them to ever know that. Also, I never want them to know the pain of favoritism; my father had picked favorites and nothing I could ever do would have ever made him proud. I do not want that for my children."

There, he thought grimly, he had said his fears and stated the truth of why he did not want more children.

Sakura sighed as she pushed herself to her elbows and he prepared himself to sleep on the couch if she was still mad at him. Which he had no doubt she was still mad at him.

"Sasuke, if you don't want to be your father then don't be," she sighed. "You're a better man that you give yourself credit for, and you are not your father, and you've redeemed yourself over, and over these last few years. It would be nice to have more children, for Sarada's sake and mine but if it's really that terrifying to you we can wait a little longer before we try again. I'm not going to have an only child Sasuke, it is unbelievably lonely and there's the off possibility of you spoiling her rotten.

"You're a good father Sasuke, if you weren't I'd kick your ass and tell you to stop being a neurotic ass and get your shit together. But I don't have to do that, and if you think having a second kid doesn't scare me too then you're wrong.

"However, I firmly believe we'll be able to handle it," Sakura informed him.

"Let us think about this for a while longer," Sasuke decided softly.

"Alright, we'll talk about it more and think about it more, but right now, hold me." Sakura whispered desperately. He was shocked with her demand but greatly relieved as well as he crawled into the bed with her and held her against him. She just seemed relieved. "I thought you'd leave us, leave me again, you were so mad, I hadn't seen you that mad other than the Forest of Death when you woke up from Orochimaru's bite."

He didn't say anything as he felt her fall asleep again and he felt her clinging to him.

What Sakura would never know, what no one would ever know, was he had woken up and seen her half beaten to death and all he had felt was a rage he had never known. Perhaps he had known all along he had cared for her, or it was the fact she was supposed to be cheerful and happy and unbelievably annoying all the time rather than black and blue with tears and pain. But when he had seen her he had acted without thinking, his temper, his rage, and all that power flowed through him destroying everything around him. Then, for the first time ever, a set of arms were around him and he had felt the love of another as she pleaded for him to stop.

Sakura had pleaded for him to stop, after what those bastards had done to her and she had pleaded for him to stop; to show those undeserving bastards mercy.

Also he had felt her fear, but unlike everyone around them it was not fear of him, she feared for him. No one had ever feared for his heart, his soul, his well-being, and though the twelve year old Sakura had self-proclaimed her undying and unrequited love for him, he had never believed it. Until that moment/

And when she had begged to come with him, go with him into the depths of a hell she could never comprehend; he had wanted to take her with him. But he hadn't, no one would ever need to know she was the reason he was running. He was running because it had felt good, too good, to know she actually loved him; him; and it was not superficial. He looked at the pinkette who was clutching his chest as she slept.

Though he did not think he had ever loved her, he knew one thing for certain: he never, ever wanted to be the one to make her cry again, and he did not ever want her to think he'd leave her. He had never been able to leave her behind in the first place; even when he had wanted too and even tried to get rid of her to get rid of the tie he had with her. Sakura was that weak, thin, strong as steal thread which had tethered him to sanity even when he had thought he lost it.

"I'll never leave you again," he whispered as he cradled her close to him and closed his eyes. "I promise."

She didn't response but she snuggled closer to him if that were possible.