Chapter 73.

Cas settled down on his bed and heard the low murmur of Sam and Dean talking in their room. He could have heard what they were saying, but chose not to. He just liked to know they were near and in harmony with each other.

He took out his phone and looked at photos that Jules had sent him during the day. There was one text from her, saying, "I love your smile." and he found himself smiling.

He knew that, if he said nothing, she would worry, but the others seemed pretty sure she was going to hear anything he said as bad news. He called her anyway.

"Cas!" she said, "I was just thinking about you. How's Dean?"

"Dean's doing well." he said, "And he doesn't want to be rid of the link any more than I do."

"That's wonderful!" she said, "You can learn to use it. It's practically a superpower."

"I'm not wearing a cape for anyone." he said.

She laughed. "I love you, Cas."

He didn't know what to say. For a long time, he pondered his response.

"Cas? Forget I said that, if it's disturbing to you."

"It's not that." he said, "Things are happening and I need to talk to you, but I need you to come here."

"No problem. Now?" she said.

"You'd come now?"

"Of course." she said.

"No, I mean tomorrow. It's a family thing. They think I'm likely to mess this up, so they want to be there to interpret things into human concepts."

"Are you breaking up with me?" she said.

"I hope not." he said, "I really don't want to."

"Because, if you want to end it, say so now. I'll understand and I'll be out of Kansas by the time you get home."

"You want me to end it?" he said.

In his head he heard, "Cas? You okay?"

"No, I don't, but I can't make you stay with me."

"I want to stay with you." he said.

Dean's voice in his head said, "What's happened?"

He tried to form an explanation, but it came out as a howl that echoed through his mind.

"I wish you could believe in us." said Jules.

"I believe in almost nothing else." said Cas, still trying to marshal his thoughts and make sense to Dean.

The door opened and Dean came in, "What is it?" he said, "It sounds like the fall of a city in your head."

"I don't know." said Cas.

"Don't know what?" said Jules.

Dean took the phone. "Hey, Jules, it's Dean." He switched it to speaker. "Now we can both hear you."

"Have you been there the whole time?" she said.

"No, just came in. Cas is upset. Just need to know why."

"So do I." she said, "He says we need to talk, but I feel like he just wants to end things."

"Well, he doesn't. You should be here. Come tomorrow and we can all talk this through. I know it doesn't seem like any of my business, but ... "

"We need all the help we can get." she said, "Cas, if I'm putting too much pressure on you ... "

"You're not." said Cas, "You put no pressure on me."

"Maybe you should." said Dean, "He could use a little push."

"This is how he is with no pressure." said Jules, "I'm not about to make things worse."

"Everyone thinks everything I want to say is stupid and wrong." said Cas.

"No," said Jules, "I don't."

"Neither do I." said Dean, "It's just not making a lot of sense."

"I swear to you, I want this more than I have ever wanted anything in my life." said Cas, "But I know the odds are against us."

"They always have been." said Dean, "You never ran from a battle before."

"You have a very selective memory." said Cas.

"What time should I come tomorrow?" said Jules.

"I can come pick you up, if you want." said Dean.

"I have my jeep." she said, "How about 10 am?"

"That would be good." said Cas, "And you can stay here if you want. You can have my room."

"We could share." she said.

"Look," said Dean, "Everything's gonna be weird. Just remember that he's crazy about you and he wants this to work."

"Cas," said Jules, "We'll make this work."

"Thanks." he said.

"I nearly said sleep well." she said, "That doesn't happen for you, does it?"

"No. You sleep well, I'll be lying here thinking over everything I just said."

"Sounds restful." she said.

"I'll take care of him." said Dean, "I have an idea. You just relax, Jules. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Dean." she said.