Sorry this is later than usual on a Sunday. Got back from a girls weekend in Paris literally an hour ago, so hope you'll forgive me. I'll get around to answering/responding to reviews for ch 72 sometime this week, I promise.

Mike: Edit day is tomorrow. I'm sorry it's taken me so long!


April 12, 1998

Sarah placed the bottles of water and the magazine she wanted to leaf through, on the counter, politely smiling at the teenager behind it. "Hang on, I'm forgetting something."

She went back into an aisle, careful not to disturb the pre-schooler sleeping against her shoulder, and found the last item on her list.

"Diane? Is that you? Wow, it's been… fifteen years, since we last saw each other?"

Sarah turned, chips in hand, to the stranger. Before she had a chance to open her mouth, the woman went on.

"Crystal? It's Jalecki now, it was Doyle before. Don't worry, I'm not offended if you don't remember. We've all changed a ton since high school."

Sarah doubted it, but nodded politely. "We have."

Crystal's eyes zeroed in on Tally. "Oh, she looks exactly like you."

"She does."

"So that means you and Harm are still together, then? We all thought it was such a bold move on your part to follow him to Annapolis, after your break up was kinda public. Does he still fly? That was what he wanted to do, right? Be a pilot?"

"He…"

Crystal waved her hand, not exactly interested in the answer. "I bet he looks amazing in a uniform. We all drooled over him, and you were the lucky one that got to date him. You're a Navy wife, then? Or did you start your own career after college? St. John's, was it? I couldn't do it, living apart from my husband all the time, worrying if he'll be coming home. It's such a sacrifice to make."

Mac blinked, opened her mouth, but whatever she had wanted to say was swallowed by the next stream of words.

"You and Harm always were such a perfect couple. Pretty sure every girl in our year was envious when we heard you'd gotten married."

Crystal finally took a breath and Mac was about to make a run for it, when she heard a familiar voice behind her.

"There you are."

Finally. Mac turned around to him, but Crystal wasn't about to give up on this one-sided conversation.

"Harm! I knew you had to be somewhere around here!" Crystal extended her hand. "Crystal Jalecki, formerly Doyle. We went to high school together? Diane and I were in the same year. I was just telling her all us girls were so jealous when your mom told everyone you'd gotten married. High school sweethearts, it's so romantic."

Mac decided Harm looked like a deer in headlights, and for once, she couldn't blame him. This woman was too much. Yet, there was more.

Crystal sighed. "For years, it's been the love story around here. I'm pretty sure you beat Billy and Corinne, and we thought that was up there. But then, you two always had a knack for the dramatics."

Mac quietly adjusted a stirring Tally. Harm gently placed a hand on her neck, pulling his lips into a tight smile.

"So, visiting your parents for Easter? Or are you stationed in the area? You must have seen a lot of exotic places already, getting to fly your fancy planes and all." Crystal grinned, glancing at her watch. "Oh, I have to hurry. It was nice seeing you both, I'm happy to hear things are great. We should organize a reunion soon, it would be lovely to see everybody again. You'll get to tell all your exciting stories!"

With a last grin, Crystal waved. "Have a great day!"

She'd left the store before Harm found his voice again. "What just happened?"

Mac replaced the bag of chips she'd been holding, her craving for something salty having disappeared. "Somebody you went to high school with bumped into us."

"She recognized you?"

"Not me so much as she recognized my sister." Mac took a step back in the direction of the counter. "Can you take Talls? She's getting heavy."

Frowning, Harm lifted Tally out of her arms. "Sarah? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Let's get her home, okay?"

The ride back to the villa was a quiet one, as Harm tried to figure out what had upset her. The two attempts he made at starting a conversation were met with one-worded answers. Once he turned the engine off, she was out of the car, unbuckling a still sleeping Tally from her seat.

"Sarah…"

She shook her head. "It's okay. I'll get her to bed."


Trish found her in Tally's bedroom ten minutes later, staring at the girl's face, raking her fingers through Tally's hair.

"You okay, darling?"

She didn't look up. "Fine."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Are you going to give me a choice?"

Trish pulled a shoulder up. "I can order you, but I'd rather you tell me because you want to."

There was a pause. "We ran into someone Harm went to high school with. She wouldn't let us get a word in edgewise, rattling on about how Harm and Diane had such a perfect love story, how they were so perfect for each other."

Trish crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Do you believe that?"

A sigh. "Not really."

"Not really isn't a definite 'no'." Trish cocked her head. "Why 'not really'?"

She bit her lip. "Because he's told me it wasn't perfect. It's just… My insecurities rearing their ugly heads."

"What are you thinking?"

Sarah swallowed. "Sometimes I wonder if I'm not just a replacement. Some sort of stand-in." She chuckled bitterly. "Not that that makes any sense, because the man goes out of his way to assure me he loves me."

"Insecurities rarely make sense, dear." Trish sat down next to her. "I'll let you in on a little secret: whoever that woman you saw was, she was wrong."

Sarah finally looked up. "She was?"

"She was. It wasn't a love story for the books. It wasn't perfect by a long shot. The first time they broke up, it was because Harm had decided he didn't want the distraction of having a girlfriend at home before he went to the Academy. Much as he was having fun with her, it was that, just having fun. I can see him sitting at the kitchen island now, saying that he wanted to end things civilly and go pursue his dream."

"Then she went after him."

Trish nodded. "She did. In all honesty, I couldn't see it lasting. She was a sweet girl, but she had nothing of that steel spine you have. The only thing in life she was sure about, was that she wanted Harm. I don't think she'd thought of all that it would entail to be a Navy wife. What the consequences of it were."

"It takes a lot of sacrifice to live the life we do."

"It does. They started dating again anyway, and Harm came to get this grandmother's ring." Trish took a deep breath. "Diane had grown up in much of the same circumstances as Harm had once we came back to California with Frank, but her outlook on it was different. She took more things for granted, and being alone for six months out of a year is not easy on even the strongest marriage. I know I hated being alone for all the tours Harm Senior took. But it is who they are."

"They must've been happy for a while," Sarah softly said.

"Oh, they were. They could argue, they could be mean to each other, then make up. Harm wouldn't give an inch, and she had put him on a pedestal, which is not healthy for any relationship, so she just went along with it." She sighed. "Then his ramp strike happened, and they went to the farm with Mimi. I think it was the first time they spent a full six months together since they'd gotten married. Harm, of course, had trouble seeing the bigger picture. He was sulky, almost bitter about killing Mace and not being able to fly again." Her eyes rested on her granddaughter. "Please don't get me wrong, darling, because this girl is the most precious thing on earth, but I'm pretty sure I cursed when Diane came to tell us she was pregnant. I don't think she knew, but I certainly knew Harm understood it was a move to try and fix something that had been broken for a while."

"Harm said they would've made each other miserable and that although he'd taken a vow, it would've ended."

"It would have." Trish smiled ruefully. "Trust me, I'm the last person on this planet to tell somebody to get a divorce, because people don't fight for their relationships anymore these days, but in some cases it's just not worth it. This certainly would've been one of them."

"And then she died."

"And then she died." The older woman glanced out the window. "Harm felt guilty for so long; decided he didn't need help, tried to keep her memory alive for Tally, juggling law school and raising Tally by himself… Then you showed up."

"And I made things worse."

"Actually, you made things better. You make things better. You know what I finally realized that night at Tally's recital?"

"What?"

"I remember thinking, after being angry he seemed so comfortable with you, that I hadn't seen him this himself or this relaxed in forever. The two of you have a silent communication, something almost palpable. The fact he'd been so adamantly defending his relationship with you should've told me something too, because he's never defended any of his friendships with anyone. So I watched."

Sarah was almost afraid to ask. "What do you see?"

"I see my son head-over-heels for a woman who complements him in more ways than any mother can ever dream of." She grinned. "A woman with a mind of her own, who isn't going to give him his way just because he wants to. Someone who is an amazing mother to my granddaughter, someone who is an equal partner to my son because they balance each other out. The two of you have a partnership; you know each other's strengths and weaknesses, but you'll never use them against each other. You try to uplift, instead of tearing down. And I've never seen anyone channel Harm's stubbornness into a focus the way you can."

"He usually needs a dispassionate plan to keep his head afloat."

"He does." Trish laughed. "You make him happy, darling. Happier than any parent dares to hope their kid will ever be. So don't for a second think you're a stand-in, because all the women in the world can come and tell you what they had was perfect, we both know different."

The younger woman nodded, taking a deep breath. "If all of that is true… Why did you hate me? I couldn't do anything right those first few months."

Trish sighed, pressing her lips together. "I didn't hate you, per se. It wasn't anything personal, I don't think. Although I'll admit seeing you threw us for a loop, and Tally had never been so comfortable with another woman in her life before, not even with Adele or Andrea."

"You'd think that was a good thing."

"It is." Trish paused. "It had more to do with wanting to protect him from heartache. Diane might have been all wrong for him, it didn't mean her dying didn't hurt. Take it from someone who's lost a spouse, the last thing you want is for your child to go through that. As long as it was just him, he at least was safe from that."

"So what changed?"

"I realized he was happier with you there than he'd ever been without you. So when I finally got over myself, and saw that you're actually amazing on your own, and you're a fighter, and you're kind and compassionate and you're the most wonderful daughter anyone could ever have. I'm sure you call us more often to check up on us than Harm has done since he moved out." She smiled. "I love you for all of it. Other than Tally, we haven't had this much sunshine in our lives since you showed up. Please don't doubt that."

Sarah sniffed. "I'll try."

"I know you will." Trish hugged her. "Come on, let this one sleep. I know for a fact there are two very anxious men downstairs, wondering if we're okay."


She found Harm outside on the porch, staring into the ocean. Carefully, she touched his arm. "Hey."

His eyes had turned color, as they always did when he was distraught. "Sarah, I'm…"

Shaking her head, she held her finger up. "Don't apologize. You have nothing to apologize for. It's me who should apologize."

He started to protest. "Don't say that."

"It's true. I still let my insecurities get the better of me, and I think no matter how hard I work on them, they'll always be there, at least a little. So I have to find a way to deal with them. It has nothing to do with you."

Harm studied her for a moment. "I should've said something."

"How? We both know the woman barely paused long enough to draw a breath." Again, she shook her head. "We won't get around the fact that you were with her before. But I know for a fact you love me, so I should trust that."

He wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. "I do. I love you so incredibly much."

Sarah let her breath out. "I love you, too, azizam. I'm sorry I let you worry about me."

"You want to talk about it?"

She nodded. "Let's."