I hate that fucking bird. You know what? I hate all fucking songbirds. Just, fuck them. They should all die. But this bird in particular needs to die a painful fucking death.

Okay, so you probably need context. After dealing with Tsunade-hime, I was actually allowed to pick up my shit from the hospital and go home. By the time I managed to sneak into my room and get into bed, it was after midnight. I'm guessing I got about three hours of sleep before that fucking bird started tweeting right outside of my window. I put my hands over my ears and tried to ignore it, on my for that asshole to start hitting my window with its goddamn beak!

I fucking hate that bird!

Anyway, after fifteen minutes of trying, and failing, to ignore the damn thing, I realized I just wasn't going to come out victorious. So, I dragged myself out of bed, put on my sleeveless black turtleneck and chûnin jacket, and got all of my gear together. I used the hiraishin jutsu to appear outside of Tsunade-hime's office and gave a half-assed knock on the door.

"Come in," she called.

I did so and gave her the bitchiest glare I could. "It's 3:45 in the fucking morning. The sun isn't even out yet."

"I noticed," the sennin replied before motioning for me to go over to her somehow repaired desk.

Wait, actually, she probably got Tenzō-taichō to make her a new one. Double wait, wasn't he away on a mission?

I internally waved off my confused thoughts and came over. "I have bags under my eyes, you know."

"Well, it's a good thing you aren't dating," the blonde stated before holding out a small scroll. "You have a mission."

I raised a brow. "By myself?"

"No, you idiot," she criticized with a roll of her amber eyes. "Your team is waiting in the next room over."

I gave a small hum as she opened the scroll and handed it over. I quickly read over the details before my brow raised up. "Uh, am I really qualified for this mission?"

"Did you really kill over 20 rouges by now?" The Senju retorted, causing me to nod.

"Okay, kill a nearby group of rouges. Easy enough," I replied as I closed up the scroll. I put it in my back pouch before pausing. "So, uh, did they retrieve Duckass?"

"I'm sure you already know the answer to that," she replied gravely.

I gave a small hum and then looked out to the village. "I know it will result in casualties, but you should have Shikamaru-san lead a group of genin after Sasuke. It will lead to better teamwork and development of those four individuals."

"You're sending them out to a suicide mission," she criticized.

"Shizune-san, Genma-san, Raidō-san, and Iwashi-san should be returning from their mission today," I said, causing her head to snap up. "They'll encounter the enemy, so you should probably send a medic out after Shikamaru-san and co. leaves. Genma-san and Raidō-san will really need it."

Tsunade-hime grit her teeth before nodding. "I see... You're dismissed. Do you have everything you need?"

"Of course," I answered, earning a nod of approval. I bowed to her before going on my way to the next room over. I opened the door and heard a click of the tongue.

"Finally. You're late," the male in the corner snapped. He appeared to be in his later teens judging by his height, but his muscles said he was older. His blue eyes were sharp and contrasted gravely against his black hair. He appeared to be of chûnin ranking, just as I, though I still wasn't technically one.

"Be happy Godaime-sama found us a replacement of just short notice," the female demanded as she looked at me with her hand on her hip. She seemed to be the same age as the short-tempered male, late teens. Her brown hair was short and matched her brown eyes. Even though she seemed to be making an at-ease facial expression, her eyes told me she was wary.

The man standing at the window chuckled and shook his head, causing his dark red hair to sway slightly. "I can't believe you two don't recognize him."

"'The hell are you talking about?" The first male demanded to know.

The final male, clearly of jônin ranking, turned and gave a smirk, his purple eyes filled up with amusement. "This little guy is the mokuton user from the chûnin exams, Sandaime-sama's little informant."

"Hmph, whatever. Being able to predict things and actually doing them are different," the slightly younger-looking guy stated while glaring at me harshly.

My god, I had enough of his bullshit, and I had only known him for less than a minute.

"In any case, you're Haruno, right?" The man asked before motioning to the guy on his man-period. "That's Yamamoto, she's Inoue, and I'm Takahashi. Now, let's move out. It's best to strike when the enemy is unprepared and asleep."

As we were departing, I took out the scroll and threw it towards the jônin. "Lead the way, taichō."

He smirked as he caught it. He threw it back and allowed his eyes to glint in the barely visible light coming over the far horizon. "Don't tell me you weren't informed."

I caught it with a somewhat annoyed expression. Of course she would do something like this. What an asshole... Ah, but it's good that my sadism is rising, especially for this sort of mission. I put the scroll away, allowing my expression to become emotionless as I did so. "Well, it's a good thing I've been working on my sensory skills. Tsunade-hime can be such a fucking bitch."

"You kiss to your mother with that mouth?" Yamamoto asked with a sneer.

"I'll kiss you with this mouth if it gets you to shut up," I replied, not bothering to glance back at him.

Inoue gave a loud snort. "I like him better than Amari-sensei."

I didn't comment as I normally would have. Instead, I kept my eyes on the path ahead of me. I mean, it wasn't a real path, but jumping through trees never had a real path involved.

"Do you know where we're going?" Yamamoto grumbled.

"I memorized the data given, yes," I replied honestly.

Takahashi gave a small chuckle. "It's no wonder you, a rookie, became chûnin so fast. I dare say you're a prodigy."

I blinked once before glancing back. "Prodigy only applies when comparing yourself to others. Hatake Kakashi was an even more successful prodigy, no? Uchiha Itachi as well, but I probably shouldn't mention that disgusting traitor."

His eyes sharpened a bit, something he couldn't hide from me. "So, you're very loyal to the village, huh?"

"Of course," I answered, "And every other citizen of Konoha, shinobi or not, should be too. If they're not loyal, they're bound to start up trouble for the country. It's unacceptable."

A small smirk crossed his lips, a glint forming in his eyes. As he opened his mouth to say something else, I easily noticed the tattoo on his tongue. "You're ideals are very interesting."

I lowered my head a bit in slight acknowledgement. I didn't think the other two were linked to Takahashi, so I didn't want to start blabbering the ideology that would secure me a place in the organization I desperately needed to become a part of if I was going to accomplish my ultimate goal one day.

The conversation thankfully dropped off there, and the four of us moved in silence until we got half a kilometer from the base of the rouges. The sun was starting to rise up some more, indicating it was probably around 4:15 a.m. by then.

I took in a deep breath before closing my eyes. I knelt down on the tree branch and carefully sent my chakra out. I ignored the confused noises from Yamamoto and Inoue and focus solely on the distant chakra signatures. "Two jônin and five chûnin judging by chakra reservoirs. They're all well-rested and at ease, probably starting off their day right now. An ambush is unexpected at this point in time." I opened my eyes before questioning, "What're your specialties?"

"Taijutsu," Yamamoto answered, though that was fairly obvious.

"Bukijutsu," Inoue replied with her hands proudly on her hips.

I raised a brow, not at all seeing the weaponry she should have had. "And fūinjutsu, I assume."

"You know your stuff, eh?" The brunette asked while looking somewhat impressed.

I looked over to Takahashi instead of answering.

"Ninjutsu," he stated.

"How good are you at stealth?" I inquired while looking between the three.

"2.5," Inoue answered first, a bit sheepishly at that.

Yamamoto, meanwhile, looked away with a small scowl. "...2..."

"3.5," Takahashi replied.

So stealth isn't the best option for them. Figures. I glanced over towards the camp before standing. "Very well. Yamamoto, Inoue, you're going to be the second wave. Takahashi and I will be the first. The two of us with stealth our way over and eliminate one of two. We'll probably be noticed immediately afterwards, so that's when you two come in, guns blazing. The forces will be distracted and thus easier to pick off. Understood?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. What the hell do you specialize in?" The black-haired guy growled.

"Taijutsu, fūinjutsu, shurikenjutsu, kayakujutsu, mokuton, and stealth," I answered honestly before making the hand signal for Takahashi and I to go ahead. I suppressed my chakra and quickly made my way over while unsheathing my tantō. I soon made it a few meters away from the edge of the camp and hid in a bush. I looked for the closest person off their guard, and realized there was still someone sleeping in a nearby tent. I looked over at the purple-eyed man and motioned for him to go in. I then began to crouch-walk my way into the tent that had two very clear entrances.

The male, his chakra indicated chûnin, was snoring softly, clearly in a deep sleep.

I covered his mouth before stabbing my blade into his brain - an easy, practically painless death. After pulling my blade out, I noticed that no commotion had started indicating a fight. I backed out of the tent slowly and peaked around the small clearing. I raised a brow at the five people who were chatting around a fire as if they were without a care in the world.

That was... really unnatural.

My hands went together, and I closed my eyes. Kai! I dispelled the genjutsu and noticed that the five were still chatting, though they weren't around a fire.

They were softly whispering as they crowded around a large scroll.

I gave a satisfied smirk while making several handsigns. I briefly peaked into the tent and noticed that chûnin was still there and dead. I nodded once in approval before my beams of wood began to grow out of the ground directly behind each of the five people.

The beams weren't as wide as you may expect, but rather small. They slowly, silently inched their way out of the ground and began to very loosely wrap around the five.

Takahashi suddenly appeared next to me and peaked into the tent. He rose a brow and looked back at me to see why I was so focused. His eyes narrowed at the five and looked very closely. He nearly gasped in surprise at what he saw, but managed to hold it back.

I nearly facepalmed when Inoue and Yamamoto suddenly jumped down and began to fight non-existent people.

Of course, the five noticed and began to move away, only for them to realize that they were carefully bound up.

I put more chakra into the jutsu and made five new pillars, those of the usual thickness. I easily wrapped the five up with the new wood before allowing my hands to separate. "Could you go help them? This is embarrassing," I mumbled while glancing over at the two who were still making fools out of themselves.

"Yeah..." He agreed, also looking somewhat embarrassed.

I walked over to the five struggling men, my tantō still drawn. I easily sliced through the back of one's neck and began walking around to do the same to the others. I eliminated the other four before Takahashi and co. returned to my side, though I had yet to fully finish the job.

"The hell are you doing?! They're still alive!" Yamamoto yelled as I slowly sheathed my tantō.

"Relax, they're already dead," I assured him while my hand paused. I then forced my tantō all the way down and didn't bother to look up at the five that released small gurgles. I instead quickly snatched away the large scroll.

"That's so cool! How do you do that?!" Inoue asked as she began to bounce around excitedly.

"Very carefully," I answered as I opened one of the flaps of my chûnin jacket. I allowed the scroll to fall out and into my palm before taking a seat. I opened another flap, allowing a small jar of ink and a brush to come out. I opened the scroll and began to make individual seals for the different rouges. "If any of you have a bingo book, please check it for all the faces here."

Takahashi stepped forwards and pulled a small, black book from his back pouch. "On it."

"You really are good at fūinjutsu, huh?" Inoue asked as she watched me scribble out everything I needed for the seals.

"Yeah. I started out young," I stated simply before pausing to look down at the large scroll. I also made a seal for that and quickly sealed that scroll up.

"All of them are in the bingo book," Takahashi said as he came back. He squatted down in front of me and showed the different ranking rouges from Amegakure.

"How particular..." I noted softly as I started once again of the different seals for the bodies.

"What is?" Yamamoto asked.

"You and Inoue check their bags. Be extremely cautious," I ordered, not at all liking the information I was presented with.

"Hey, Haruno-chan, what's on your mind?" Takahashi inquired as he took a seat.

"Logically speaking, rouges typically stay around a certain area from where they defected from, right? Why would this group go so far from their own country, especially to an area so close to Konohagakure?" My eyes narrowed slightly as I stated down at my finished work. "It's unreasonably foolish of them."

"Well, they could just be outliers," the red-head suggested.

I looked him dead in the eyes, not at all impressed with his deduction skills. As I stared into those purple eyes filled with hidden mirth, a thought occurred to me. I kept that thought to myself, however, and stood up with my scroll. I sealed the five bodies away before going after the other two. I sealed the tent guy up and then headed after Takahashi's kill. I knelt down next to it and set the scroll up like I was going to seal him.

"We got nothing," Inoue said with a small pout as she and her teammate came over.

"You didn't check the last one," I replied as I pulled out a kunai. I threw it to my 4 o'clock at an angle of 78 and ordered, "Check him, too."

"Er..." Inoue shut her mouth when a body suddenly fell from a tree and smacked against the ground. "Damn..."

The blue-eyed guy nodded before they walked over to pat him down.

Takahashi, meanwhile, began to narrow his eyes. "What kind of rookie are you?"

I didn't reply and instead flipped the body over, not liking how stiff it was. I stared into those blank eyes, though it was fairly obvious the person died in pain that still lingered. "Did you know that if a body is this warm and stiff, it means the person has been dead for three to eight hours? It's something called rigor mortis where the muscles of the human body stiffen."

"Okay, so I didn't kill him. What about it?" He asked, an underlying threat in his voice.

I bent the leg of the corpse to reveal that it wasn't stiff yet. "It hasn't spread, so the person has been deceased for around three hours. Of course, that isn't exactly he most concerning thing to me. What is, however, is the fact he died an extremely painful death, one without physical means of torture... Or so it would appear..."

"And you're implying...?" The ginger questioned.

"Well I'm implying the evidence is on the inside," I explained while pointing to the opened mouth of the deceased.

The tongue had a large scorch mark, and his throat was bloodied. If was fairly obvious the man died screaming.

"Another odd thing is his lack of hitai-ate. The other six were all wearing them, so for him to not have one is rather odd, don't you agree?" I inquired, causing him to hum softly.

"Hey... When did you enter the academy?" The purple-eyed individual asked suddenly.

I raised a brow while looking back at him. "Six, why?"

"When'd you graduate?" He asked instead.

"12..." I answered slowly.

"You're clearly a prodigy. Why stay back with everyone else?" The ginger demanded to know.

I frowned and looked back at the poor dead guy. "I... have a twin sister that wasn't as advanced as me. To be honest, I only became a shinobi to protect her. I want to keep her safe and happy. That's really my only purpose in life."

"Is that so...?" Takahashi patted my shoulder before fully standing up. "That's a good goal. I'm sure someone will soon come to help you gain the power to protect her even more."

I gave him a closed-eye smile, one that Kakashi-sensei often used to reassure people. "I hope so. I'd really appreciate that."

"He has this scroll that's carefully sealed. We should take it back so Hokage-sama can look at it," Inoue stated as she stared down at the seal.

"Of course," I replied as I took it off her hand. I glanced down at the seal, tensed up and then fucking chucked it. I watched the decoy explode a few meters away, my arms automatically bringing themselves up to shield me. I don't know why, but I sealed up the body in front of me before ordering a retreat. I jumped towards the second unsealed body, picked it up, and retreated with my team.

"Why the fuck did you take the body?!" Yamamoto yelled at me as I followed the three.

"Gut feeling," I answered honestly before hissing softly, "Suppress your chakra as much as you can. We need to use stealth if we are going to make it back in one piece."

The three looked at me before giving nods.

I then took the lead despite the body over my shoulder and began to take up lower tree branches. If I went to high, I would most likely encounter other shinobi in the trees. If I went on the ground, I'd be easily visible to those on the ground level. If I went in the middle zone, I would be able to live through whatever was going to happen. Hopefully, my team, my responsibility, would be able to live as well.

We made it few hundred meters away when an idea managed to come to the forefront of my mind.

I stopped and made four kage bunshins. I then had three of them transform before heading in the original direction. I smirked as I lead my team in a different direction.

"What the hell was that?" Yamamoto questioned as we kept moving.

"Distraction," Takahashi answered, causing me to nod.

"Oh, cool. What jutsu was that? The didn't look like illusions," Inoue inquired softly.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu. It was a technique developed by Nidaime-sama. Those aren't illusions, but rather perfect copies that can endure quite the beating. Uzumaki Naruto used them during the finals of the chûnin exams, but mine are a bit more durable. They can even make it through the wrath of Tsunade-hime." I grinned proudly as I remembered the horrible memories of my poor kage bunshin.

"If she's a Hokage now, why call her Tsunade-hime?" Takahashi asked.

"Even if the person's ranking has changed, they're still the same person they always were. I always call people by the first name I hear them being called. For Godaime-sama, the first name I heard her being called was Tsunade-hime. So, I call her that. Besides, she doesn't seem to mind it, so I haven't bothered to change it," I explained honestly before pausing. "Well, there are a few exceptions to that, actually. I sometimes refer to the first two Hokages by their first names, of course with '-sama' added. The only person I had ever called Hokage-sama was Sandaime-sama."

"Because you knew him as Hokage-sama before anyone else, right?" Takahashi inferred, causing me to nod in approval.

"Yeah, that's right," I replied before glancing upwards. "About 5:00. Estimated return time - 5:27. No enemy movement or chakra signatures. Mission, success. Bodies will be handed over to ANBU Corpse Disposal. Scrolls of information will be given to Tsunade-hime. No liabilities given. Estimated break time of 3 minutes, then new orders."

"You have a type-a personality, don't you?" Inoue teased while bringing up her hand to hide a small grin.

I gave a one-shouldered shrug. I didn't really know my personality type, but I did know I liked having all of my shit planned out ahead of time.

Realizing I didn't really want to go into any more details, my team remained silent for the rest of the way back. We first stopped at the corpse disposal department to hand the bodies over and then headed over to Tsunade-hime's office.

On our way there, I began to write up the mission report. I hated paperwork...

Takahashi knocked on the door, earning an annoyed, "Enter."

I walked in behind my team, still quickly scribbling away the information I had from both myself and my bunshins.

"The mission was successful. Good job," the blonde said from behind her desk.

"Thank you," I replied politely before finishing up my details. I handed it over causing her to raise a brow.

She seemed impressed by the fact I knew how to properly write up a mission report, but it was rather self-explanatory. "The scrolls?"

I pulled out the mission scroll as the other one held the larger scroll was sealed away in. I unsealed the large scroll and watched her brow raise. "I haven't opened it but I'm not sensing any traps."

The sennin nodded and flicked her hand up to get one of the ANBU members to take it. She then took my mission scroll back and looked past me at the team I lead. "Would you say he has the leadership skills to be a chûnin?"

"You bet!" Inoue chirped while giving a thumbs up.

"Yeah, I guess..." Yamamoto replied while looking away.

Takahashi gave a nod of approval.

She gave a smirk before turning her amber eyes back to me. "Well then, I have a new mission for you. You need to go retrieve Kakashi."

"He's taking his sweet, old time again, isn't he?" I asked while shaking my head in disapproval. "And here I thought I traumatized the deadbeat out of him."

The woman raised up a blonde brow.

"It'd be best it you ask Gai-sensei," I replied while waving her nonverbal question off. I then gave a bow and stated, "I'll be getting Kakashi-sensei now."

"You're dismissed," Tsunade-hime said.

I used the hiraishin jutsu to leave the room, appearing on Nidaime-sama's head. I sat down and carefully began to summon forth my chakra. I then carefully picked through all of the chakra seals I've placed over the past few months before settling on one that I created within the last week. My eyes shot open before I teleported to Kakashi-sensei. I quickly landed on a branch and began to jump next to him.

"Hokage-sama sent you, didn't she?" The silvernette questioned.

"Yeah. She said to retrieve you, but abandoning a teammate isn't exactly on the top of my priority list," I explained, earning a small nod of approval.

"Good. You go ahead to see if you can help break them up," the Hatake instructed.

"Of course," I answered before closing my eyes. I focused in of the chakra seal of Duckass and teleported there. I jumped back quickly, however, upon seeing whatever the fuck the Uchiha transformed into.

The bitch had dark-grey skin, and his hair grew and turned dark blue. His eyes had also turned dark blue, and he had achieved the three-tomoe sharingan in both eyes. Across the bridge of his nose appeared a dark, star-shaped mark. Additionally, he grew webbed, claw-chapter wings from his back.

Of course, Naruto wasn't any fucking better. His eyes became red and slitted, plus his nails and canine teeth grew longer and sharper. His blonde hair grew longer and spikier, and the whisker-like marks on his cheeks widened and thickened. Red, translucent chakra reminiscent of boiling liquid had surrounded his entire body. Forming a long with it were sharp claws around his hands, foxlike ears sprouting from his head, and a single tail coming from his tailbone.

Needless to say, a normal fucking person like myself had no business there.

Holy fuck, you are aliens! I internally criticized.

"Kukuku... Not even you could dream of stopping me now," Duckass stated while looking over at me with his freaky-ass eyes.

"Well right about now, it would be beneficial to the village to let you scamper away. I mean, have you seen your fucking face?" I asked while pointing at said face.

"Haruno-kun! This is our fight!" Uzumaki-kun suddenly yelled at me.

"Thank kami-sama," I replied while taking several steps back from the two. Itachi-senpai, fuck you. Kakashi-sensei, fuck you too. Why the fuck do I have to be here?

Uchiha suddenly raised his head and looked at the sky. "Do you know...? This place is called the "Valley of the End," the country's border."

Wow, this asshole knows geography, I internally praised sarcastically.

"This is the perfect setting, isn't it... Naruto?" The Orochimaru underling asked, causing Uzumaki-kun to fully recognize Duckass's intent. "Yes... That's right... Like I said, the time for talk is over... Well, finally it's ending... This battle..."

I jumped back quickly as both boys began to charge up their newest learned attacks. I unfortunately met with the waterfall and decided to just run up it to not get involved in the shitstorm that was going to destroy the fan it hit.

Fuck those fast-moving assholes. Fuck their overpowered attacks. Fuck their colliding attacks that created a terrible ball of chakra. Fuck how strong those goddamn monsters were.

The black ball of chakra expanded to cover half of the waterfall. It soon turned white, however, and exploded. Everyone was sent their own directions.

My dumbass was tossed into the air like a rag doll and dropped down without any restraint. The sudden exposure to such powerful chakra caused a shock to my system, making me unable to move my limbs. I was fucking powerless as I splashed into the cold waters, slowly sinking down to the bottom. Actually, I was probably being swept away, but it seemed as though I was sinking faster.

The sun started fading as storm clouds covered the sky. It seemed as though the force of their chakra had changed the fucking weather. Goddamn fucking alien descendants or whatever the fuck they were. Rain quickly started falling, adding to the incredibly shitty situation.

I hope Sasuke dies, I thought as I finally regained control of my body through the necessity for air. I swam as hard as possible, and surfaced some ways down the river. I managed to control my chakra enough to kneel down on the surface of the water, my lungs spitting up water by the fucking liters. Of course I'm being sarcastic, but it honestly felt like I swallowed an entire ocean.

Duckass was taking his leave while holding his bleeding left arm.

With great annoyance, I stood up and began to chase after the bastard. I was ready for the day to be over with even though I hadn't even eaten breakfast by that point in time. I was just fucking done with everyone's bullshit and wanted to crawl back into bed.

Uchiha made it to the top of the valley and started walking along, the fucking asshole.

I teleported in front of his with a bitch glare. "Okay, we have two options here. You can pick a fight and go to Orochimaru, or you can stay and I'll tell you all you could ever want to know about Itachi."

He looked very displeased and activated his sharingan once again. He was so worn out, yet so willing to fight some more. Dear fucking kami-sama, that asshole wasn't worth any sort of time.

I gave a deep, dramatic sigh as I pulled out my tantō. I had more chakra than him, so I could probably do some damage. I just needed to find a good opportunity to strike, and there was no time like the present. I lunged forwards, ready to slice his leg off or something.

Unfortunately, he jumped over me and began to run away.

I stared blankly for a moment before yelling, "You bastard!"

Uchiha then pulled off a very dickish move. He flipped me off with his right hand and continued to run.

"I hope Orochimaru is as pedophilic as he looks, Duckass!" I screamed at him, but didn't bother to pursue him. I gave a small grumble before sheathing my tantō. I grumbled under my breath as I began to stumble my way back to the asshole of a sensei.

By the time I got back to the valley, Kakashi-sensei had already taken Uzumaki-kun and left. The bastard didn't even wait around for me! What was I to him?! Chopped liver?! Something even worse than scum?!

On the bright side, it had stopped raining.

I grumbled before walking to the Hashirama-sama side of the valley. Once there, I gladly began to rest under a tree. I groaned loudly before running my hands down my still-wet face. I'll them all later about Orochimaru's "immortality" jutsu. That should put everyone at ease, at least for a few years.

About half an hour passed, and the sky fully cleared. It seemed as though the effects of the chakra on the environment had finally worn off.

However, the effects of the chakra on my body were finally starting to become noticeable. I grimaced as I forced myself to my feet. I had something wrong with my chakra system, and I was probably going to get in the biggest trouble from Tsunade-hime. I internally prayed for my personal well-being before narrowing in on Kakashi-sensei's chakra seal. I tried teleporting to him, only to slam myself into a tree about halfway between him and I. As I fell down to the ground, I realized I was going to have to walk or risk possible death.

Needless to say, I chose possible death.

About four bad tree-related injuries later, I spotted Kakashi-sensei in the far distance talking to three medical nins. I brought my pinkies up to my mouth and released a loud whistle to catch their attentions.

The four still conscious all stopped and looked back at me. Of course, once the medical nins saw my bloodied face, curtesy of the fucking trees, they immediately began to come over.

I dodged them all before rushing to my sensei's side. "I lost him..."

He shook his head. "It's fine. As long as you're alive."

"Yeah..." I looked away, causing him to turn his full attention towards me.

"What is it?" He pressed.

"Ah, well... I think their attack fucked up my chakra system," I replied honestly while scratching the back of my neck nervously. "And I really don't know how serious it is since I'm not a Hyūga."

The Hatake stared down at me blankly as the three medics made it back to us. "So basically, you're saying there's a chance you could die soon."

"I said I'm not a Hyūga," I replied with a shrug.

Apparently honesty isn't always the best answer.

I was suddenly forced on to a stretcher by the medical nins and rushed off with my sensei following close behind. "I'm not willing to bet, so there's no need to freak out."

"That's even worse! It means you're not sure either way!" Kakashi-sensei exclaimed.

"Did Gai-sensei tell you that?" I asked with great annoyance.

He didn't answer, meaning I was most definitely correct.

I gave a deep sigh before just relaxing myself. "So, how'd your mission go?"

"It was a success," the jônin answered.

"So was mine," I said, earning a confused noise. "Oh, right. So I had my first mission as a chûnin today. I killed seven rouges from Amegakure that were in the area."

"That's at least a B-rank mission!" The sharingan-wielder exclaimed.

"Yeah, but my kill count was already over twenty, so Tsunade-hime figured it would be a walk in the park for my team and I," I explained.

"Oh, so you were just tagging along them?" The black-eyed man concluded with a tilt of his head.

"Uh, no. I was the taichō that mission," I replied, nearly causing him to miss his next landing.

"So how many rouges were there?!" The silvernette asked loudly, concern clearly growing abundant in his eye.

"Seven," I answered with as much of a shrug as I could pull off while being restrained.

"What the hell did your team do?!" He yelled.

"Well Inoue and Yamamoto checked the camp while Takahashi looked through the bingo book for their faces. Oh, and I made a few kage bunshins to pack up the camp and bring all of their stuff to Tsunade-hime before our group got back. Ah, right, and there was a suspicious body there..." I closed my eyes while thinking of the face stuck in perpetual pain. "The dude was dead for about three hours before we got there. His tongue had a large burn, and there was very clearly some internal torture. Anyway, I think he was the one who passed along the big scroll to the rouges."

"What village was he from?" Kakashi-sensei asked with a furrowed brow.

"Not sure. He had no hitai-ate," I replied while giving another pathetic attempt at shrugging.

"Honestly..." The former ANBU member shook his head before making a neutral expression. "And then you immediately go get your chakra system messed up."

"You know, Sasuke's chakra increased tenfold from whatever those Otogakure fucks did to that seal. He also looked... erm... like a fucking alien." I then proceeded to tell the man what Duckass looked like, causing extreme confusion/concern to fill his features. "To make things even worse, the idiot over there-" I motioned with my chin to Uzumaki-kun. "-looked fucking possessed by the kyūbi." I explained the weird red chakra that surrounded the blonde, causing Kakashi-sensei to look over his shoulder at the unconscious kid. "Those pieces of shit used their strongest attacks and created this fucking terrible ball of chakra that exploded, and I got caught up in it. Now my body is all fucked up, and I have no way of teleporting around to give people pieces of my mind, starting with that fucking bird that woke me up at 3:30 in the fucking morning!"

"She deployed a bird to wake you up at 3:30 in the morning?" The man repeated in shock.

"Oh, killing rouges this early will be easy. I won't even let you get four hours of sleep or eat breakfast because I'm such a bitch. I'm an alcoholic that couldn't gamble to save my life. All I like doing is nag, nag, nag, bitch, bitch, bitch." I mocked angrily, my sadism starting to spike up for pretty much no reason.

"Oh, right. You're blood sugar level is low," Kakashi-sensei realized before reaching into his back pouch. He pulled out a snack bar, carefully opened it with one hand, and then placed it into my mouth.

I ate it without complaints and without the need for hands because I was just that badass. I was calmed down a bit by the food and gave my sensei a blank expression. "By the way, you still owe me strawberry daifuku."

"Ah, right. I was called away on a mission before I could get them," the jônin recalled before giving a sheepish expression. "Well, I'm sure you'll be in the hospital, so I'll deliver them later."

"Good," I approved before taking in a deep breath through my nose. I closed my eyes and began to drift off to sleep.