Hope you are all safe during this crazy time. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Thinking of all of you.
Posting isn't going to change, so I'll be here to provide some sort of normalcy. Sending much love!
April 27, 1998
"Excuse me." A newly promoted Lt. J.G. Sims pushed through the bullpen. "Major, there you are. You have an urgent phone call."
"Who is it? I'm late for a meeting, Lieutenant."
"A Father Genaro."
Mac frowned, looking through her notes. "I don't know who that is."
"He's a Catholic priest from Fresno."
It still didn't ring a bell. What did a Catholic priest from Fresno want with her? "Okay. Take a message."
Harriet had the nerve to look slightly embarrassed, but she insisted. "Ma'am, I really think you should take this call."
Mac sighed, resisting the urge to roll her eyes. "Conference room 3. Please go tell Commander Mattoni I'm on my way." Turning on her heels, she walked back into her office and picked up the phone. "This is Major Mackenzie."
"Sarah Mackenzie?"
"Yes…"
"This is Father Genaro. I'm a Franciscan priest at the Hospice of the Sacred Heart in Fresno, California. I've been talking to a man I don't think will last the week. He's been asking for you, so I looked you up."
Mac shook her head. "I'm sorry, Father. I think you have the wrong Mackenzie."
But the priest wasn't that easily put off. "Really? May I ask, is your father's name Joseph? Your father came in last week. The cancer, it seems, has travelled to the liver, which was apparently not in good shape to begin with."
She didn't want to hear this, much less deal with this on a Monday afternoon. Whatever relationship she may or may not have had with Joe Mackenzie was long gone now. "Father, do you need money?"
"Oh, no, no. We don't charge. We're set up principally for those who can't pay." Father Genaro paused. "Joseph and I talked. He's accepted his fate. But there seems to be a great deal of psychic pain. I guess he wants to…"
"Father Genaro," Mac interrupted, "I haven't seen my father since I was sixteen. We were estranged."
"Yes, so he told me. But I would… What do I call you? Miss? Missus?"
"Major is fine," she said.
"Major. Major, I think that's the point of my call. I believe it would be of great comfort to your father if you and other members of your family were present. In fact, I've been trying to reach your mother. Do you know where I could contact her?"
It would be of great comfort to your father… Was he kidding? Joe Mackenzie had never cared about her. Not growing up, not when she finally left with Uncle Matt, never. Why the hell would he start now?
"My mother?" She shook her head. "No, I have no idea of my mother's whereabouts."
He seemed disappointed. "Oh. Well, I believe he would want the both of you here. You know, to settle things. Major?"
Finally returning the phone to its cradle, Mac stared into the distance. She had a meeting to get through. Was Harm supposed to be in today? She hadn't seen him yet.
She rushed through the pre-trial meeting with Alan, threw her files into her office and crossed the bullpen to Harm and Jonah's office.
Jonah looked up from his screen when she knocked. "Hi, Mac."
She bit her lip. "Afternoon, sir." Damnit, where was Harm when you needed him? "Is Commander Rabb in today, too?" She sighed. "I'm sorry, I…"
Jonah frowned, shaking his head. "Don't apologize. Don't make me remind you it's still 'Jonah' in the privacy of our office, either. Harm had a short briefing with Admiral Chegwidden. Do you want me to send him by your office as soon as he returns?"
"Please."
"Are you okay?"
"Fine." She smoothed her skirt down. "I just need Harm for a second."
"I'm sure he won't be long. I'll send him first thing."
"Thank you."
It was another ten minutes before Harm showed up. Ten minutes during which she'd been eating herself up, pacing the length of her office.
"Hey. Jonah said you were looking for me."
"I was. I am." She glanced outside. "Take a walk with me?"
He didn't hesitate. "Always."
It took her till the end of the courtyard to actually speak. "Joe's dying."
Harm stopped, turned to her, surprise written on his face. "He is? How do you know?"
"I got a call from a Father Genaro. He's in a hospice in Fresno. Apparently he's been asking for me." She huffed. "Imagine that."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart." They took another three steps. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't know." She chewed the inside of her lower lip. "I honestly don't know. I was hoping you could provide a dispassionate plan this time."
He chuckled. "Are you sure?"
"Harm…"
Quickly sobering, he nodded. "I'm sorry." Motioning to a bench, they sat down. "Why does he want to see you?"
"I don't know. Father Genaro kept saying it would be a great comfort to have me there, as if it was only about what Joe wants." She shrugged. "Maybe it is."
"Are you still mad at him?"
"No. No, I'm done being angry." Mac swallowed. "I've made peace with the fact that his best was not nearly good enough. It doesn't mean he didn't try. It just… wasn't enough."
He nodded. "So go to say goodbye. Tell him you understand he tried. Lift that burden. And who knows… Maybe we can inherit a hundred-acre ranch in Texas. We found your twin, who knows what other secrets your family keeps."
"We are never moving to Texas." But she smiled anyway.
"Under the right circumstances, I might be persuaded to move."
She nudged his side. "We both know that if we ever move anywhere that has nothing to do with a new duty station, it'll be to California. We can sell the ranch in Texas."
"Tally would love a ranch."
"Tally loves everything as long as she can run around and get herself dirty." She stared off into the distance. "I should write Uncle Matt. Let him know what's going on."
"When is he coming back from deployment?"
"May, sometime." Mac shrugged, paused. "I'm not sure what seeing Joe now will accomplish."
"He probably wants to make amends."
"It's a little late to make amends." She shook her head, toying with her ring. "There were times I'd wake up in a sweat, remembering how I'd sit on the top of the stairs, hearing him smack my mother across the room. It's been ages since I even thought about it." She let her breath out. "I'm not sure seeing him will help."
"Maybe it won't help. If nothing else, it'll give you a chance to say good bye and get some closure. Put some last demons to rest."
"Would you go?"
He hesitated. "Probably. If only because I know what it's like not to be able to say good bye."
"Yeah."
Maybe he was right. She'd never get another chance to tell Joe Mackenzie she'd forgiven him; that although her childhood was less than ideal and she had more scars than she could count, she knew he'd tried.
Next to her, Harm cleared his throat. "I won't be able to go with you."
"I know."
He and Jonah had a deadline in about ten days, and she knew they hadn't been able to cover half of what they wanted. Besides, Admiral Chegwidden had him sitting second chair to one of the Lieutenants, too. His plate was more than full.
"I just wish we could have a good year without all this drama."
Harm grinned. "The way I see it, we've made it to the end of April without a lot of crazy stuff. I think that bodes well for the rest of the year."
"You're always so positive."
His grin widened. "I learned from the best." He looked at her. "Will you be okay?"
"I will." She quickly squeezed his arm. "Thank you, azizam."
"Always."
Back upstairs in his office, he speed-dialed a number before he'd even sat down.
"Chrysler, Frank Burnett's office."
"Marjorie, it's Harm. Is Frank available?"
April 28, 1998
"Major?"
Mac looked up. The hospice was non-descript, simple, but clean and well-kept. It hadn't been hard to find, and although she was sure she'd made the right decision, she felt ill at ease now she was finally here.
The priest offered her his hand. "Father Genaro. Welcome. Was your flight all right?"
"It was fine, thank you." She toyed with the cover in her hands. "I noticed he's asleep."
"He is. The further the cancer progresses, the harder it will be for him to stay awake."
She nodded. "Yeah, I should probably check into the hotel first anyway. Maybe you can call me when he wakes up?"
"Of course."
"Are there visiting hours?"
"No. You're allowed to be here at any time."
Again, she nodded. "Okay, then." Turning around, she hesitated, finally turning back to the man in the bed. "Is he… Do you know how long he has?"
Father Genaro shook his head. "I don't, unfortunately. Did you bring anyone with you? For support?"
"My… husband had a deadline at work, so he couldn't take the time off. We decided a hospice is hardly the place for a four-year-old, so she stayed home, too."
"A daughter?"
"Yes."
"I'm sure your father will be pleased to hear you have a family of your own."
Mac huffed, scraping her foot over the floor. "I think that's more despite than because of him."
"Be that as it may, it's something to be proud of."
"I am." She pulled her lips into a sad smile. "Other than my career, it's the single thing I'm proud of in my life."
Father Genaro nodded. "Would you like something to drink?"
Mac shook her head. "I really should get checked into my hotel, let Harm know I've arrived safely." At this point, she just wanted to hear his voice, assuring her that everything was going to be okay. She'd made it this far.
"Harm?"
"My husband." Funny, how easily that word rolled off her tongue. "His name is Harmon, after his father, but that's just too much of a mouthful."
"I can agree to that. What does he do?"
Mac stepped back into the hall. "He's a Commander in the Navy. He's a lawyer, like me."
"Your daughter must be smart, being the product of two intelligent people."
"She is," Mac agreed. "Too smart for her own good, most of the time, so she keeps us on our toes."
"Children tend to do that." Father Genaro nodded to the porch. "How do I reach you when he wakes up?"
Mac hesitated. A part of her wanted to wait, to be here when he woke up and get it over with. The other part of her wanted to run as fast as she could to the nearest airport and get the first flight home. "Actually, Father, I'll just go make my call and wait with him, if that's all right?"
Father Genaro tried to hide his surprise, but Mac had seen it anyway. "Of course. Whatever you decide is fine, my dear."
"Thank you." Taking her cell phone out of her pocket, she flipped it open and speed dialed number one. "Harm? It's me."
