Chapter 75
SPOV
As I washed my hair in the shower, I could feel my muscles relax as the hot water sprayed over me. I managed to disentangle my hair from the remains of the champagne and strawberries making me think of the night before. I'd been so surprised when Carlos had driven us to the old warehouse building where I always seemed to run to. The change that had taken place hadn't detracted from my original feelings I'd had for the place. I felt safe here, something about the atmosphere here made me feel at home. The furniture that Ash had ordered was still here but now the floors had been polished and the walls painted. There was a brand new kitchen and the bathrooms, wow, I couldn't believe how Ella had changed them into such beautiful areas. New tiles and fitments and an amazing shower that was certainly large enough for two people. As I dried my hair and dressed in joggers and a T-shirt I headed down to the kitchen for some breakfast. The glasses and plates were where we'd left them from last night. Though the use of the plates hadn't lasted very long when Carlos decided that using me as a plate was far more appetizing. I decided to clear the kitchen first before trying to find anything for breakfast. I'd washed everything and dried them and was just putting them away in the cupboard above my head when I heard the sound of the door open behind me. I knew Carlos had an early meeting this morning and he'd left me to sleep. He was seeing Uncle Andrew, so I hoped he had good news to tell me.
I turned around with a smile on my face only for time to stand still. The glasses in my hand fell slowly to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces around my feet.
"I'm sorry Angel, I didn't mean to scare you"
I wasn't sure what to think as I looked at Ash stood no more than maybe four feet away from me. I knew I suddenly felt scared. I didn't know this man stood in front of me anymore. His hair was cut short and he seemed thinner than I remembered. He was wearing black cargos and a jacket that brought back memories of how he'd betrayed me. Allowed me to be hurt by his woman Remi. I know my heart was pounding in my chest and my breathing began to speed up. All the memories of the last few weeks came tumbling into my mind.
"Angel, you need to calm down. I'm gonna lift you up before you cut your feet on the glass"
I was aware of being lifted and placed on the couch, of Ash being sat next to me, but it did nothing to allay the panic overtaking me. I felt my head being pushed down to my knees and someone telling me to breathe slowly. I knew I needed to do that but knowing it and doing it were two completely different things. I felt something in my hands and looking up saw a bottle of water. My hands were shaking so much that hands were over mine, making me hold onto the water and not drop it.
"Steph, try and drink, it'll help to calm you"
I'm not sure if it was me or him who pushed the bottle to my mouth and tipped it, so water spilled down my throat. With the sobbing and crying water went down the wrong way so I was coughing as well, spilling some of the water from my mouth. I think the coughing brought me to my senses and as I looked up, I saw Ash sat on the coffee table opposite me, just watching me. He looked so sad as he kept looking at me, not the man I had got to know so well, not the man who had kidnapped me.
"Why are you here Ash?"
"I was given a choice Angel. The charges that kept me locked up seemed to disappear. No Colonel and no national security breach. Seems everything about Buckley was wiped away, as if he never existed. I was told I could choose to be locked up as someone who was criminally insane or complete my contract doing deep long term missions"
"So you chose missions?"
"Yeah, probably seen as suicide missions, but hey it beats being locked up"
"So why are you here?"
"I'm carrying so many regrets Angel, but you, you are my biggest regret. I needed to see you one last time. I am so sorry Angel. Sorry how I let love and greed blind me, sorry that I hurt you so much"
I had no idea what to say to him. Whilst he'd really scared me when he suddenly appeared, I felt calmer and for some reason knew that he was being sincere, that he wouldn't hurt me. I still wasn't sure what he hoped to achieve by coming here though.
"Angel I don't want to go away knowing you hate me. I want to go away and remember how things were between us. For my heart to feel lighter and yeah, brighter for having known you"
"What are you asking Ash?"
"I know you think it's easy to say the words, I'm sorry. I know those words aren't enough. I want to ask you to forgive me Angel, but I'm not even sure I can forgive myself for what I did"
As I listened to what Ash said it struck a chord inside of me. Someone else had said something very similar to me recently. I understood what Ash was asking me for. He was going on a mission that he probably wouldn't survive. It was almost as if he was asking me for absolution before he went. That my giving him what he needed would help him accept his fate, give him peace and hopefully a determination to survive and want to live. I remembered what Emci had messaged me, well Remi, and though I really hated that woman what she'd said was so true.
"Forgiveness is the best form of love. It takes a strong person to say they're sorry and an even stronger person to forgive"
I closed my eyes as I talked through all the reasons why I couldn't do it, but in the end I knew what I had to say to Ash. I opened my eyes to look into his, seeing fear, sadness and despair.
"I forgive you Ash. Go knowing you've made peace with me"
I felt as he leant forward and kissed my forehead.
"Thank you, Angel. You really are an angel, a bright light that I'll carry with me"
As he said that he stood up and moved away from me. When I turned to look for him, he'd gone, just disappeared as quickly as he'd arrived. I could almost think that I'd dreamt the whole encounter if it wasn't for the fact that there was a small model of a black helicopter sat on the table that had the image of an angel painted on the side. An exact model of the helicopter that had been a part of our journey.
RPOV
I'd left Steph sleeping, knowing that we'd probably spent most of the night making love. The red from the strawberries was still evident on her skin and in her hair. Given the choice I would have stayed there with her, but knew I had to meet with Major General Andrew Gregory. Whilst I'd spoken to him last night, today was an official meeting. With the Colonel being dead I had to admit I was a little concerned if there would be any fallout on me. After all it was me who had killed him. We were meeting at Rangeman, in my office and I knew he would be punctual. As Ram showed Andrew into my office, I stood to attention out of respect to the uniform he was wearing.
"At ease. Hell, sit down Carlos"
I suppose we'd moved from using official titles but that didn't alleviate the concern that was growing inside of me. I pointed to the couch and chairs and led Andrew to sit down, taking one of the chairs for myself.
"You know I should have thought ahead with the timing of this meeting, too early after a night like last night"
I nodded my head going back to my earlier thoughts as to where I'd rather be right now.
"Okay to business first. With the Colonel dead, a tragic accident where debris fell on him breaking his neck before the fire incinerated him. There has had to be a reorganization of his work and areas he supervised. Your file is now filed under retired. Congratulations Carlos. Your life is yours now to enjoy with your new wife"
"Thank you"
"Don't thank me, thank that wife of yours"
I smiled at that comment, yeah Steph had a way about her, and she could certainly persuade people to her way of thinking.
"I spent time with Frank last night, you know a few night caps before we parted. He's so much more like the man I first knew. You've given him something to get up for in the morning"
"The men we employed like Frank are doing a good job. It's brought him and Steph closer together"
"What about Ellen, she always was such a dominating woman"
"Things are strained between her and Steph"
"Don't worry about that. Frank is already making her toe the line for a change. She'll come around soon. He's already arranged for her attend a support group to get her drinking under control and he's making sure she has an attitude readjustment. He'll sort her out"
"Good to hear. I think Val, Steph's sister, is realizing that Ellen's ways are not the best"
"Yeah Frank mentioned that. He's already seeing his grandchildren more and doesn't want them to be raised like Steph was"
"Mary Alice is very much like Steph"
"Then I see that as a good thing"
For some reason my mind went to what children of mine and Stephs would be like. I liked the idea of a little girl with Stephs wild curls and personality, one who would be loved so much she would never have to endure what Steph had to growing up. My thoughts were broken by a laugh from Andrew and I looked across to see him smiling.
"Hell Carlos, a daughter from you and Steph, would be like a whirlwind and unstoppable"
I didn't answer, just smiled, definitely something to talk to Steph about later.
"I need to get going, I have to get back to Washington. I'll keep in touch to see how you're both doing. Take care of her Carlos, she's one of a kind"
"I assure you she'll always be my first priority"
I walked with Andrew to the door where Ram was waiting for him. Ram would ensure he was escorted down to the garage and to his car. Even though Andrew had left and he'd imparted good news to me I was still feeling slightly anxious. The only reason I felt this way was usually because of Steph. I knew the apartment we were in was secure but there was a niggling doubt in my mind. I wouldn't be able to do anything constructive until I'd checked in with her. As I opened the door Santos was in the corridor, he must have seen a look to my face.
"Ranger, what's wrong?"
"I don't know, but I need to check on Steph"
He followed me down the stairs to the garage and was in the passenger seat before I'd even fastened my belt.
"Who would want to hurt her, we got all of the bad guys didn't we?"
"I don't know"
As I drove from the building my mind was racing with ideas. Why would Steph be in any danger, who would want to hurt her?
"Ranger how do you know there's a problem?"
"I don't. I just seem to know when she needs me"
Santos was quiet after that, probably thinking through what I'd said. I'd been honest with him, since Steph and I had got closer I was much more sensitive to her emotions or when she needed me. I drove fast but carefully, using a direct route to get there. I fobbed open the doors to the parking area cursing that we had to wait for the second doors to open. I headed for the stairs with Santos following and came into the lounge. The first thing that I saw that was out of place was the broken glass on the floor, then I saw her. She was curled up on the couch holding a small model of a helicopter.
"Babe?"
I knelt down in front of her, sweeping her hair from her face. It was obvious she'd been crying as her face was still wet from the tears as they'd run down her cheeks, but her eyes were closed as though she were asleep. I nodded to Santos and looked to the stairs to the bedrooms. He'd know to check them out.
"Babe, amante"
I watched as her eyes slowly opened, blinking as she focused on me. Her eyes were red but I didn't see any fear in them. She launched herself toward me, literally knocking me over and then just held me tightly to her. I stood, taking her with me and sat down with her on the couch.
"What's happened?"
"He was here"
"Who Babe?"
I couldn't think of anyone that would cause her to be so upset.
"He needed me to forgive him before he went away"
"Babe, who was here?"
"Ash. They're sending him on a suicide mission so he needed to leave knowing I didn't hate him"
I had never thought to ask what had happened to Ash, but that he was going on what he saw as a suicide mission wouldn't be good for him. It was something that I had dreaded happening to me. I didn't know how to feel at him coming here. Of course, he could get in without a problem, he'd redesigned the security system. That he felt he needed to talk to Steph made me furious, yet I could understand his need to feel grounded, at peace with himself and Steph was the only person I knew who could do that. She would have given him what he needed; she would see that as something she alone could do for him. I looked at the model in her hand and smiled as I remembered the day the helicopter had landed on the rooftop of Rangeman. The decal had been Ash's idea, an angel which was what Steph had become for more people than just me. I held her to me, content that she was safe. She would have forgiven Ash because that was who she was.
