When he opened his eyes, Murowa was gone. Ben blinked up at the ceiling, dazed, and sat up, clutching his head between his hands. It felt like someone was beating his skull with a hammer. He remembered Murowa knocking him out but, despite her threats, after that there was nothing. He sat there for a few minutes, breathing hard, trying to remember, but nothing came to him. Not even a flicker of emotion, just blankness. Eventually, Ben had to concede that maybe there really was nothing to remember.
He looked around him, taking in the unfamiliar surroundings. Instead of the steel walls of the satellite that he had grown so familiar with over the course of his unwilling stay as a prisoner, wherever he was had smooth, green walls. He set his good hand on it, feeling the chill of metal sink into his skin. Someone had laid him out on a bed, a simple white cot with a thin blanket. Other than that, the small room was featureless.
Something occurred to him then and Ben stiffened, looking to his other hand — the left one. It was still half-crystalized, but that wasn't what worried him. The Omnitrix wasn't on his wrist, where it always was. It was gone.
Ben jolted to his feet, frantically looking for it even though he knew it wouldn't be anywhere nearby. As if anyone would leave the Omnitrix laying on the ground in an empty room. He spotted the door and rushed over to it, throwing it open with a loud bang.
Outside of it wasn't what he expected. Instead of Murowa or Argyle ready to cut him in half, he saw the narrow, cramped hallways of what he finally realized was a spaceship. Ben frowned in confusion. He recognized it as being the Plumber cruiser standard, but if he was in a Plumber ship, then did that mean…?
His eyes widened and Ben took off down the halls, sprinting as fast as he could. He nearly slammed into the wall more than once in his hurry to get around those tight corners, but let his feet carry him instinctively to the ship's bridge and burst into the room panting.
He almost melted with relief. Rook. For the first time in what felt like years, Ben's partner was right there, looking at him from the pilot's seat with surprise. Rook's expression smoothed out, turning impassive, and he put his attention back on the ship's instruments. Ben's grin fell and he stood in the door's threshold feeling lost.
"Hello, Ben," Rook said, only after adjusting some of the dials. "I was wondering when you were going to wake up. Magister Tennyson will be relieved that you are alright."
"Alright" seemed to be stretching it. Ben clutched his peranite hand close to his chest. He still felt aching and bruised, riddled with cuts and sprains. He knew that they were a little superficial, especially compared to the stab wounds that Murowa had healed for him, but he had thought that Rook would be concerned enough to apply at least minimal first aid. The last time that they had seen each other, Ben had nearly died. Had Rook forgotten? Or was it not a priority?
"Um, yeah, I guess…" He agreed hesitantly, walking further into the room. Nothing that Rook said had been wrong, exactly, but something felt off. "What happened? Where's the Omnitrix? I woke up and it was gone."
Rook snorted, muffling laughter. "The Omnitrix?" He shot Ben an incredulous, amused look. "After what you did to it, you should be grateful that you have not been court martialed. It was removed, to be returned to Azmuth. Gwendolyn and Kevin opted to take it there while I escorted you back to Earth." He shook his head and, under his breath, muttered, "Perhaps this time Azmuth will find a proper champion to wield it."
Stunned, Ben froze. It was all he could do to keep standing when it felt like his legs were about to give out. Somehow, he managed to find the words. "Rook, I don't… what are you talking about?" Ben took a careful step toward him. "Court martialed? Taking the Omnitrix? I…" He swallowed thickly. "What about my hand?"
"What about it?" Rook flicked his wrist dismissively and didn't even bother to turn around. "You got yourself hurt, Ben. You can take care of yourself. Are you not the person who has saved the universe, "about a "ka-jillion" times"? I would not think that a minor injury would be such an inconvenience for you."
Ben felt like he had the breath knocked out of him. He sputtered, gesturing wildly with his good hand. ""Minor"? My hand is crystal, Rook! What happened up on the satellite?"
With a heaving sigh — as though he couldn't believe what an inconvenience Ben was being — Rook finally turned to face him. There was a scowl on his face and his eyes were hard, completely absent of any warmth or fondness. "We arrived while you were busy lying unconscious at Murowa's feet," Rook said stiffly. "Gwendolyn and Kevin handled fighting Argyle with Patience, while I took care of Murowa, seeing as you were clearly incapable of doing so yourself. Afterward, Patience told us everything that happened. How cowardly and spineless you behaved and how you were willing to blow up the entire station, killing countless people, to save yourself a little discomfort." He gestured pointedly at Ben's crystalized arm. "She has already been gifted the Plumber Badge of Honor, for outstanding service from a civilian. Magister Tennyson put her in charge of rebuilding Petropia. And you…" Rook looked away, turning back to the controls. "You are being taken to Plumber base until the Magistratus decides what is to be done with you. Ordinarily, it would be house arrest, but after the situation was explained in full, your parents did not want to see you."
Stubbornly, Ben shook his head. "No! No, none of that… None of it makes any sense! Please tell me that you're lying, Rook. Or just making a really awful joke. Haha, you got me, great job! Can you stop now? I'm so confused!"
The disinterest faded and Rook sneered as though he was looking at something unpleasant stuck to the bottom of his boot instead of his friend. "What else is new?" He shot back.
Despite himself, Ben winced. He should have known to expect something like that when Rook was so clearly angry with him, so why did it hurt so much? "I'm not…" He swallowed thickly and didn't move any closer. "I'm not an idiot," Ben muttered, more like he was trying to convince himself instead of Rook.
There was no response — just a snort as Rook turned back to the piloting controls. That cut deeper than any scathing insult could have.
Caught between misery and confusion, Ben stood where he was. Should he go find a room to lay down in? Return to the med bay where he could be alone? If he stayed on the bridge would Rook only grow angrier?
His indecisiveness went unnoticed. The ship's communicator chimed with an incoming call and Ben drifted closer to see who it was. Rook, apparently willing to abandon the control's for something that wasn't Ben, answered the call almost immediately. In fact, he was almost eager to.
"Rook Blonko, answering." He said in his normal, non-angry voice. Normally, he would mention that Ben was present too if they were getting a call from Plumber base, but he opted not to. It was such a small thing, but Ben couldn't pretend that the snub didn't sting.
"Good to see everything's going well, Rook," Grandpa Max replied. He started to say something else, but was stopped when Ben suddenly leaned over Rook's shoulder and shoved himself into the conversation.
As childish as it sounded, Ben just wanted a friendly face. Someone to explain it all to him without making him feel awful for it. Rook was angry, Gwen and Kevin were nowhere to be found, and the Omnitrix had been removed from his corrupted wrist. But Grandpa was there, and he had always had a way of making things easier.
"Grandpa!" Ben melted with relief. "I'm so glad to see you. What's going on? I remember being unconscious but then, after that, there's nothing. And the Omnitrix, where is—?"
"Quiet, Ben." Max interrupted without needing to raise his voice. His eyes narrowed and Ben snapped his mouth shut. An awful feeling of dread sunk in his stomach. "If I wanted to talk to you, I would have asked for you. I'm so disappointed in you right now that I can't even stand to look at you. Go sit down or, better yet, go to another room entirely. I called to speak to Rook. And don't act surprised," he chastised, "when you've long since known what a better Plumber than you he is."
After Rook's treatment, Ben had thought that he'd reached his limit of surprise. It wasn't even that he didn't know how to respond. Ben stared blankly at the screen, at the glower on his grandpa's face, and lost the ability to think. His hand was brushed off of Rook's shoulder but Ben barely noticed. Something had stuttered to a halt and his logical processes weren't working. A part of him wanted to leave, to be alone, but his mind was separated from his body.
In his head, Ben was lightyears away. Anywhere other than in that room.
There was a scoff from Rook as he turned back to the monitor, face twisted in distaste. "Apologies, Magister Tennyson. I will call you back once I have dealt with your grandson. And thank you for the promotion." Rook smiled, and Max returned it — a fond upward tilt of the lips that used to be reserved for Ben and Gwen. The call was hung up and all was quiet.
Ben took a shaky step back, away from the chair and the monitor and Rook. His vision was going black at the edges. Everything looked fuzzy and distorted. He felt on the verge of hyperventilating. "Rook," he breathed. "Please. What is all of this?"
There was a smirk playing on Rook's face, a glint of schadenfreude in his eyes that Ben had never seen his partner display before. It scared him to know that such a look was being directed at him. "What?" Rook shrugged offhandedly as he stood. "Did you think that you would get to sit back comfortably and play the hero for the rest of your life, Ben? Does it hurt to see how easily all of those "achievements" can be ripped away from you?"
He hadn't realized that he was backing away from Rook until his back hit the wall. When it did, Ben automatically reached for the Omnitrix, only for his fingers to close around nothing. And still, Rook advanced. "Shut up," he said, hating the wavering tilt in his words. "You don't know what you're talking about. It's not like all of this has been easy. My arm—"
Almost as if he had been waiting for that, Rook's hand snapped out and grabbed Ben by the crystalized wrist, pinning the useless appendage to the wall right next to Ben's head. On Rook's shoulder, the Proto-Tool whirred to life. It aimed itself directly at him and Ben found himself going cross-eyed trying to stare down the muzzle. He swung a punch at Rook's jaw with his free hand, operating on instinct, only for his ex-partner to catch his first and squeeze until Ben let out a gasp of pain.
"Popigai is dead," Rook hissed, pupils in slits and fangs bared, "yet you still think that your arm is important. I can't believe that I ever admired someone like you, Ben Tennyson. So selfish, so unapologetic. I don't know how you can go on without being sickened by yourself."
His eyes were squeezed shut as tightly as possible in an attempt to block out what Rook was saying, but Ben still felt it when he leaned in closer. The hands holding him in place tightened. "You're wrong," Ben whispered. "I'm not… I feel awful about what happened to him. I miss him. What am I supposed to do?"
Rook snorted. "If you had saved him the first time, this wouldn't be a problem, now would it, Ben? The Omnitrix should have been taken from you years ago. "Hero of the Universe"? You haven't done anything. It's always been the Omnitrix. Some random stroke of luck led you to believe that you were special when, in reality, anyone could have done what you did had they gotten an alien device that does all of the hard work for them. You're a joke, Tennyson. You're kidding yourself."
The whirring of energy caused Ben's eyes to snap open, just in time to watch Rook's chest explode. His scowl went slack, anger fading as his eyes grew distant and glassy. Rook slumped forward into Ben's arms, blood soaking both of them, warm and sticky and sluggish. Stunned, too shaken to think about moving, Ben could only stand there. He felt Rook puff against his neck and then he didn't breathe again.
With a wince, Ben dropped the body and stepped back. Rook hit the ground with a wet, hollow slap. The entire front of Ben's outfit was drenched in blood.
"What…" He trailed off, couldn't find the words to finish, and found his arms full again.
Energy hummed right up against his ear and Ben had to squint his eyes against the sudden brightness. He wrapped his arms automatically around whoever was hugging him but then realized that, even without seeing the person's face, he knew who it was. It was the familiar warmth rushing over him, the way something deep in his chest perked up with their closeness. Mana ran under his fingertips but, suddenly, all Ben felt was Gwen's weight in his arms.
He squeezed her back even tighter, letting out a noise worryingly close to a wheeze, and Gwen laughed. "Ben." She said his name like it was a prayer and pulled back, big pupilless eyes soaking him in with relief as she cupped his face. Her hands in her Anodite form were so hot that they almost burned but Ben didn't care. "God, it's really you," Gwen muttered, awed and on the verge of tears. Her fingers ran along his jaw and down his neck and shoulders, tingling all the way, as though to reassure herself that he was real. "I've been trying for days to get into contact with you, but I was only able to connect to your subconscious when you fell asleep. Your energy signature feels so weak. Are you alright? What happened?"
Ben's expression twisted in confusion. He didn't push Gwen away, but he didn't pull her in, either. "I thought… You were with Kevin. And Rook…" Guiltily, Ben looked down, only to reach a startling discovery. Rook's body wasn't at their feet. The blood that had so thoroughly painted him was gone. And then, when Ben looked back up, it was to the sight of the ship around him fading. The color drained out, leaving everything white, then the depth disappeared entirely until he was standing with his cousin in a void.
She faced him with understanding, face drawn into a frown. "It's okay, Ben. This isn't real. We're in your head," she explained.
Of course they were. Ben looked down at his hands, curling them into fists, and scowled. He remembered Murowa putting him to sleep, why hadn't he made the connection that none of it was real? It seemed so obvious once Gwen said it.
Suddenly, the world shook and cracked, fissures opening up in the white and spilling out into dark, inky blackness that looked like it went on forever. Ben stumbled, grabbing onto Gwen for support. She was floating, after all, and seemed to know more about whatever was happening than he did. Gwen's hands closed around his shoulders, hefting Ben up into the air with her. They had to hold onto each other but, honestly, after what he had been through Ben had never been so happy to be hugging his cousin.
"Just now," she said, "what were you thinking about, Ben? What did you do?"
He blinked quizzically at her but knew better than to ask if Gwen was joking. He hesitated. "I just… I, um, I was thinking that I should have known this was a dream. I mean, I woke up remembering what happened when Murowa knocked me out, but I still believed what the dream-Rook was saying." He grimaced. Some of the things that Rook had said were…
Gwen lowered them to the "ground" carefully, watching for cracks and making sure it was safe before letting Ben put his full weight on the splintering floor. "You need to stop doing that. Look around." She gestured to their surroundings insistently. "Murowa, she's the Nemuina, right? I knew that I sensed something invasive in here as soon as I made contact with your subconscious. You have to stop thinking negatively and doubting yourself. She's trying to squirm her way through the cracks, the natural defenses that our minds set up to protect us. All you're doing by letting her get to you is giving her a door."
Mouth dry, Ben was a loss of words for a moment before managing, "What happens when she reaches the end?"
"If she reaches the end," Gwen corrected him, "there won't be much left of you for us to rescue." Her expression hardened and she took his hand, squeezing it tightly. "That's why I need you to listen to me. I'm going to get you out of this, Ben. We've come too far to give up on you now, so do me a favor and, as cheesy as it sounds, don't give up on yourself. I have Kevin and Rook with my physical body. We're rooting for you."
Ben took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He gave Gwen's hand a responding squeeze and took hold of her other one, closing his eyes. "Say something like that again," he muttered, too ashamed of himself to speak any louder. "Tell me…" He licked his lips. "Tell me how proud you are. How… How amazing it's going to be once we get back to Earth."
He knew that it was a mistake to ask when Gwen's expression creased with pity. His breath caught and something inside of him snapped — around them, so did the void.
The resounding tremors sent Ben stumbling and there was a noise like shattering glass as the ground gave way beneath him. He reached for Gwen's hand and missed. Ben tumbled, down and down and down, into the smothering darkness. He could feel Gwen near him, the warmth of her mana keeping him from crying out, but Ben couldn't see her. The black became a blanket, softly killing even the faintest glimmer of a light.
He hit the ground with a thud that made his ribs ache and sent his head ringing. Ben groaned, twisting on the ground in pain. Above him was a brilliant night sky. Where was he?
Even as his vision spun, Gwen swam into focus. Framed against the sky, her astral projection seemed to glow even more violently. Waves of pink and magenta and white and black, like Ben could watch them dance and twist languidly forever. He wondered if that was an Anodite feature or just a result of their close relationship.
"...n… Be…" Gwen gave up on trying to speak to him and just grabbed Ben by the hands, pulling him up into a standing position. He didn't make it easy on her, but she could float, so his lack of cooperation wasn't much of a hindrance.
He mumbled tiredly, brushing his hair out of his eyes. It was sticking to his forehead, damp with sweat. How could he even sweat in a dream? Ben winced, looking around. Wherever they were, it was only sky, encompassing them on all sides. It was vaguely familiar but he couldn't remember where he had seen it before. "Gwen?" He blinked slowly in his cousin's direction — which was wherever the most amount of light was coming from. "Where are we? Can you, like, explain what the hell is going on before I lose it? Rook just exploded in my arms five minutes ago."
Gwen shot him an exasperated look that quickly faded when she took in his exhaustion. She lowered herself to be closer to his eye-level, setting a hand on Ben's shoulder while the other took hold of his crystallized hand. The feel of it made her frown, keeping her eyes focused on the limb as she swirled one hand idly over his palm and up his forearm, then back down again, repeating the pattern slowly. Her energy washed over him and Ben let out the breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding, relaxing almost without noticing.
"I don't know where we are," she admitted. "This is your head. Everywhere should be somewhere that you recognize. And you've been to space before, so… This must be one of your memories." Gwen glanced around them, lips pursed unhappily. Perhaps she was only then noticing how empty and desolate their surroundings were. There were no ships or planets or other lifeforms for lightyears in any direction. "As for what's happening… Well, Murowa is doing this, I think. I can feel her in here with us, but I can't really tell where or keep her out. It's not my head, after all. It's taking most of my energy to keep up a connection. This would be a lot easier if your body was closer, but we're working on it." She wrapped her pulsating fingers around his stiff ones, squeezing tight even though Ben couldn't feel that hand. "We aren't giving up on you, Ben. Not ever. You just have to hold on a little longer."
Ben smiled wistfully, then grimaced as his thoughts went back to the scene on the Plumber ship. Before Gwen had shown up and blown a hole through dream-Rook, he had been saying quite a bit. And all of it, Ben had heard before. His own nagging self-doubt, for one, but also, while he was imprisoned by Murowa the first time. She had parroted a lot of those same ideas. Or, more aptly, Rook was the parrot in this case.
"I think that she's trying to get me to break," Ben said slowly. "It's like you said, she's trying to get her way through the cracks. She's doing it by trying to pry out my worst fears. So, if this is a memory, then..." He cast a look around them and paled. "Oh, no."
"What is it, Ben? What's wrong?" Gwen placed on hand on his cheek, trying to ground him, but it was too late.
As if triggered by his own recollection of the event, the scene around them jerked into motion. The cracks in reality stayed but, between them and around them and through them, different fissures opened up. Gaping, screaming voids that coiled almost delicately through the fabric of spacetime. From them, the dying shrieks of a quintillion lifeforms echoed and distorted. The sheer terror and misery was cutting. Each voice only had enough time to cry out before being swiftly and permanently silenced.
"Disappointed?" Ben's voice broke through the deafening white noise, coming from nowhere. "That's the universe! It's everything I know, it's everything there is!"
"Was," Bellicus' voice corrected.
"Technically," Serena added.
The conversation didn't continue, the way that Ben's memory dictated it should. He fell to his knees, clutching his ears and clenching his eyes shut to block it out. Gwen's mana was burning, encompassing him like a cocoon as she hummed with concern. Focusing on that was what made Ben continue to take deep breaths. Even after the screaming had whittled away to nothing, long past the death of the last star and the absolute, all-surrounding darkness had caged them in to a single point, Ben didn't move until Gwen knelt in front of him and pulled him apart.
He wasn't crying. He refused to let himself give Murowa the satisfaction. Nonetheless, Gwen took one look at his face and almost seemed to regret touching Ben. Steadying herself, she cupped Ben's face and gazed at him sadly. "Was that…?" She started to ask but couldn't finish.
"I couldn't save it," Ben muttered. He looked away from her, ashamed. Of all people to see him at such a low state, why did it have to be Gwen? "The universe. I… I couldn't even remake it, this time. So many people died, Gwen. You heard them. I heard them." He couldn't help the way that his voice hitched, tight around how hard he was trying not to cry. "What kind of hero lets everyone die?"
Gwen didn't seem to know how to respond to that. So she didn't. Instead, she shifted, wrapping her arms around Ben's neck loosely and pulling him into a hug. He automatically tucked his face against her shoulder, arms curling around her in turn. She rubbed gently at the small of his back, making shushing sounds against his hair. Gradually, the urge to cry faded. The world around them quivered and cracked, but didn't give out beneath them.
After a moment where they both tensed and held their breaths, Gwen pulled back. She opened her mouth to speak but Ben, already knowing what she would say, shook his head.
"I know all of that already. It doesn't help," he insisted. "I know that it wasn't my fault. I know I didn't have any other options. That doesn't undo it. That doesn't… keep me from wondering." He winced at the admission.
So many what ifs…
"Ben, stop," Gwen said firmly. "You don't have to turn back the clock and undo it. I saw the Celestialsapien trial. Just accept it. You made the best decision that you could with the information you had. You did what you thought was best. Dwelling on it, beating yourself up… That's not going to change anything. It just makes things worse."
Even if he had wanted to reply, Ben didn't get the chance. The scene around them shifted, but not by much. Dirt unfurled from beneath where they were crouched, buildings springing up and then immediately collapsing as they began to smoke and char. Rubble wavered around them, wavey and faint, like a mirage. Ben ran his hand over a busted wooden support beam and passed right through it.
"What is…?" Ben glanced up and his breath caught. Stumbling out of Gwen's arms and to his feet, he made to move toward the scene in front of him but couldn't take more than a step before he paused. Did he really want to get any closer?
Of course, Gwen was right behind him. Her mana almost seemed to have a mind of its own, curling near Ben with a comforting warmth. One of the tendrils that acted as her hair looped loosely over Ben's good hand.
"Is that… Kevin?" Gwen didn't make a move to get closer to their friend. Maybe she, like Ben, felt the warning shift in the atmosphere.
It was Kevin, but it also wasn't. He was mutated, again, but not the amalgamated behemoth that Ben had seen on the space station with Rook. It was after he had touched the Ultimatrix, facing off against Aggregor at the Forge of Creation. The monster that was Kevin (or Kevin, who was the monster) was unconscious, chest rising and falling with shallow breathing.
Rocks shifted as a slight figure landed at Kevin's feet. Ben recognized himself, the silhouette of Ultimate Echo Echo, in a heartbeat. He froze. Subconsciously, he wrapped his hand around Gwen's mana trail and squeezed hard. It gave way under his fingertips, until it felt like Ben was plunging his hand into boiling water, but he didn't let up. Gwen barely seemed to notice. He didn't turn to see her reaction — he already knew what it was going to be.
As Ben watched, the memory of himself stared impassively at Kevin. At the time, he had been so glad for Echo Echo's flat voice and even flatter expression. Without that mask, he didn't think that he would be able to hold himself together.
A small speaker detached from Ultimate Echo Echo's body, hovering over Kevin's face. "One more should do it," Ben heard himself say. A promise, maybe. A reassurance, definitely.
There was a pause. Ben's recollection dictated that Gwen ought to come running in. She would yell at Ben to stop, beg him to walk away, insist that Kevin was still there and still their friend. The same way that she had for weeks. The way that Ben was expecting her to.
The slight twitch of Echo Echo's expression gave him away. Ben's breath caught. No, the way he had been counting on her to. In the scene, Echo Echo looked over his shoulders, corners of his mouth pulled down into a barely-visible frown. But no one came. No one stopped him. And that meant that Ben didn't have any more excuses.
"I'm sorry," Ben said, voice cracking, and pulled the trigger.
He squeezed his eyes shut, yanking away from Gwen and turning away. He couldn't bring his hands up fast enough to block out the sonic shriek of Echo Echo firing, or the wet splattering sound of Kevin's head imploding. Quick and painless. Just like he had promised.
"I almost did that," Ben whispered to himself. He crammed a fist in his mouth but it only aggravated the building urge to vomit. He gasped, suddenly unable to breathe. "I would've done that. I— I can't—!"
Was that Murowa's game? Line-up every possible outcome? Everything that Ben could have been? Everything that he almost was? He could handle it one-at-a-time. The usual nightmares kept it to one theme, usually nothing but a potent stab of fear and failure and hatred that had Ben waking up in a cold sweat or damp with tears. He could pretend that it was fine when it was one incident. But she was gluing them all together, like some perverse slideshow, and Gwen was right there to see it all and, oh God, it was working. He was losing it.
How pathetic could he get?
Everything shook, cracks forming with the deafening roar of millions of pieces of shattering glass. Ben almost fell through a hole that opened beneath his feet, but Gwen grabbed him by the wrists and once again yanked him up. It was only then that he realized that she had been shouting his name.
Even then, Ben didn't look at her. He was pulled level to his cousin, but he was suddenly taken by his arm. The Omnitrix was still gone, an indent in the crystal where it had been to signify that something was missing, but that wasn't what had his attention. The crystal was growing — painlessly, that time. It had inched up past Ben's elbow, immobilizing the bottom half of his left arm. It felt kind of nice, actually. Warm, like Gwen's mana.
"Huh," he finally said. "That's… not normal, I don't think. Even for one of my dreams." Ben grimaced at the way his voice came out. He had tried for a joke and couldn't even get that past his lips without his words catching in his throat.
There was a groan from Gwen and a burst of light, her frustration reaching a boiling point. "Ben," she snapped, "you're making this worse! She's trying to get under your skin and you're letting her!" She grabbed him by the chin to force Ben to look at her. They stared at each other for a long moment before Gwen deflated. "Ben, are you… okay?"
He swallowed thickly, looking away. It didn't feel like she was asking a standard question, the way that most people meant it when they asked. "I don't know," he muttered. "I… I thought I was, but now I just… what's wrong with me, Gwen? All of this stuff is old news. I should be over it, shouldn't I? I'm just beating myself up for things that I can't do anything about and getting worked up over nothing."
Gwen didn't say anything. She must have been able to sense that the usual words of comfort wouldn't mean a lot. The typical "it's okay to be sad" or "it's not nothing" or "you can talk to me about it" that were paraded around as fix-it-alls in every movie or show or book, the most shallow attempts to try and connect to an audience or make the characters feel like people. Ben didn't want to hear it. He had gotten those responses before and didn't have the energy to tolerate them.
Instead, Gwen set a hand on Ben's left arm. "The crystal feels cold."
He hummed in faint interest, rotating his arm as well he could so that Gwen could get a good look. "Does it? It feels warm to me."
For some reason, that made Gwen's frown deepen. "Is this a real injury, Ben? Something that you have in the real world?" She saw the look on his face and smiled politely. "I'm sorry. I know it's hard, but can you just tell me?"
Ben pressed his lips into a thin line before giving in with a heavy sigh. "Yeah, it's… I don't know, genetic damage, maybe? Murowa was using the DNA duplicating that the Omnitrix does and just having it run continuously. She was sucking that energy out, but it was leaking into me I think. So now my arm is crystallized." He ran his thumb over the grove where the Omnitrix was supposed to be. It was weird that it wasn't there. He had assumed that it would come back when that scene with dream-Rook ended. "I don't know where it is. Maybe it just doesn't render in my head."
To his surprise, Gwen was quick to shake her head. She let her hand fall away. "No, that's not how dreams work. I think that Murowa stole it."
There was a moment where Ben was upset, but then he paused. "Uh, okay." He blinked. "I'm asleep, right? Does it even matter if she has my dream Omnitrix? She can keep it. I'd rather just get out of here before something else happens."
As if reacting to his words — or because of them — more cracks formed.
"No, you're thinking about this too literally," Gwen said with a shake of the head. "The Omnitrix is symbolic. Why do you think the world is crumbling and you're turning to crystal every time you start blaming yourself for what's happened?"
The answer seemed like it should have been obvious but, to be honest, Ben was having trouble puzzling that one out. Why did he care? His head hurt. He wanted to sleep.
But Gwen was still looking at him expectantly so, with a sigh, Ben decided to try for an answer. "I don't know, uh… She's trying to hurt me, right? So I'm guessing that none of this is good and that the Omnitrix is…" He trailed off. A film had dropped over his thoughts, muffling everything into a meaningless buzz.
"Important." His sentence was finished by Gwen, though she didn't look happy about it. Her face kept sliding in and out of focus, getting fuzzier the harder that Ben tried to make out the details. He was surprised, then, when Gwen set her hands on either side of his face. "Murowa is here," she whispered. "Ben, can you do me a favor and focus on my hands? I know it's going to feel really hard, but I need you to put your hands over mine. Yes, even your crystallized one. Just focus on me. Only me."
The world was changing around them again. Ben's gaze darted around, taking in the dark lighting and purple, insect-like architecture. His mind filled in the blanks: the Highbreed Supreme council chamber. He swallowed hard but managed to resist the urge to pull away from Gwen. Instead, he stared hard at her burning eyes and set his right hand over hers.
"And the other hand, Ben," she whispered. "I know it's crystal, I know. Don't think about it. This is a dream. If you have the willpower, you can do it."
It was easier, somehow, for Ben to focus just on moving his hand rather than what Gwen was telling him or what was happening around him. He already knew that he wasn't going to like what existed beyond their little warm bubble so he ignored it. As tempting as it was to close his eyes, he forced them to stay open.
Gwen was saying something again — his name, probably, but Ben's arm felt like it was made of lead and only getting heavier. Her expression creased with worry, her grip on him tightening, and he could have sworn that he felt his fingers twitch. But raising his arm, no. She had to be crazy, asking that much of him. Ben was already so tired. It was his head. Surely, there was no harm in sleeping for a little bit?
She shouted something, looking somewhere over Ben's shoulder, and then he was tossed to the ground. He caught himself on his crystal hand, surprised by the sharp pain that jolted up through his arm and down his spine. It didn't feel warm anymore — it was ice cold.
There was a blur in the corner of his vision and Ben looked up in time to see Murowa launch herself at Gwen. Ordinarily, he wouldn't have been worried for his cousin, but something tickled the back of his mind. How Gwen had mentioned that it took most of her concentration just to keep up their connection. And if she used too much of that power, then…
Ben clenched his jaw in frustration. No. He had already talked Kevin down from his power-mad high and he didn't need to do the same for Gwen.
He got to his feet, wobbling like the ground was shaking even though it wasn't. He blinked hard at the fight in front of him, hoping to clear his vision somewhat. It didn't help. Ben saw Murowa sink her teeth into one of Gwen's mana tendrils, saw his cousin losing her footing in her efforts to keep Murowa off of her. His mind flashed to Popigai, squirming beneath Argyle's boot in his final moments, and that should have been what motivated him forward.
It almost did. Ben had taken a step when, suddenly, the scene around them started to change and Murowa completely forgot about Gwen mid-swipe. She turned to look at Ben and his breath caught in his throat.
There was the Omnitrix. Her right eye was glimmering an electric green, Ben's watch embedded in her socket. If it was painful, she gave no indication of it. She looked fucking delighted to see Ben and that was the only incentive that he needed to take a subconscious step backward.
"Ben!" She trilled. "How nice of you to finally join— ugh!" Murowa was cut off when Gwen lashed out with a mana construct, sending her flying.
As relieved as Ben was, it didn't last long. She didn't have to fly back — the world in front of Ben's eyes warped and Murowa was suddenly there again. He instinctively recoiled from her proximity, stumbling back, but the glint in her eyes said that it wasn't Ben she wanted.
Of course, Gwen came swinging forward. And as soon as she did, Murowa grabbed her by the throat. Or, more aptly, she tried to.
Without thinking about it, Ben had moved, and there he was with his arm up to block her and a scowl on his face. He had managed to move his crystal arm, just like Gwen had asked him to. It sent spikes of agony up his body each time he so much as twitched, but Ben clenched his jaw, made a fist, and socked Murowa hard in the jaw.
That time, when she went flying, it was with surprise in her eyes. She didn't come back.
Somehow, though, Ben got the feeling that she wouldn't be gone for very long. He turned to Gwen and wiggled his crystallized fingers with a wince and a shaky smile. Next to them, the memory of Popigai's death had played out so that Tetrax and Conway died, too. Ben did his best to ignore it, knowing that the what ifs would only bring Murowa back faster. He needed a minute to process now that he didn't feel on the verge of passing out again.
"You did it!" Gwen threw her arms around Ben's neck and squeezed hard. "Oh, Ben, I knew you could. You're always pushing yourself, always doing the best that you can—" She pulled back, holding Ben at arm's length, and managed a smile of her own. If Anodite could cry, she probably would have been. "Do you know what this means?"
He shook his head slowly. "Not in the slightest. You're way overdue for an explanation, cuz. Why don't we start with how you got here, because I'm still confused on that. Then what's happening and why it's happening. Because Murowa has the Omnitrix in her eye and I get the feeling that that's going to be a problem."
Gwen smiled, even managed a laugh, but it was quick to fade. She glanced at the bodies laying in the hallway next to them, then back to Ben, as though seeing him for the first time. "You were fading," she said quietly, almost speaking to herself.
Confused, Ben frowned. "What? You mean, like, a minute ago? Yeah, I wasn't sure what that was about."
"It's hard to explain." She shifted, mouth pursed. Ben wasn't sure if Anodite had tongues or not but, if they did, he knew that Gwen would be worrying it against the inside of her cheek the way that she did when she was thinking hard. "I can't really say that it's your life force. There's no way for Murowa to kill you in your head alone. Nemuinas feed on the energy of people they lull under their control. The more control, the easier it is for them to feed. The drawback is that they can only take so much until their control starts to wane and leaves them vulnerable. There's no benefit to killing your food source, so you don't need to worry about that."
Ben nodded slowly to pretend that he was following. "And you know that how, exactly?"
One of her hands was lifted so that Gwen could give a flippant flick of the wrist before it was set back on his shoulder. "Kevin is flying our ship and Rook is alternating between being angry at the Plumbers and being angry at himself, so I took it upon myself to read up on Nemuinas and Petrosapiens. Just in case. It was either that or start tearing my hair out." Her smile faded and her expression grew severe. "Ben, just because she can't kill you doesn't mean that this isn't hurting you. There's a reason that Nemuina are so feared across the galaxy. They've been known to show people things that they never recover from. Some are left unable to do more than breathe and suck nutrients through an IV. I'm not an expert on dream studies yet, but if I had to guess…" Gwen gestured around them at the splintering world. "That's your subconscious she's tearing at. The arm must symbolize your consciousness — the part of yourself that you have to think about. And the Omnitrix is our ticket out of here. Or, yours, anyway. But I'm not leaving until I know you'll be alright."
None of that sounded good. Ben looked at their surroundings, watching the hallway of the satellite fade into… the interior of a restaurant, it looked like. He frowned. He didn't have any bad memories associated with eating out. Was Murowa doing this or was his brain?
"Okay. That sounds doable," Ben settled on finally. He gave Gwen the best grin that he could muster. "It'll be me and you. Kind of like old times, right?"
She smiled, more earnest that time, before assessing their new surroundings like he was. "I don't sense Murowa interfering. I think that this is something you're doing. Is this location important to you, Ben? Your subconscious chose to retreat here for a reason."
He started to tell her that, no, it wasn't familiar and they had more important things to be worried about anyway, but the words caught in his throat. Ben did recognize where they were.
It was Mr. Smoothies. Not the silly, mint-green and bubblegum-pink one that he had been forced to grow familiar with. No, it was the original. The one that Ben had grown up with his whole life. He hadn't seen it in over a year, not since he…
He swallowed hard. Not since he recreated the universe. Not since he got it wrong.
Shaking, he pulled away from Gwen and set his hand on one of the plastic booth seats. It was solid underneath his touch, unyielding despite every other memory he had been in. And Ben knew why. Or, at least, he thought that he did. It wasn't because he loved smoothies that much. This place was reliable and familiar.
It was safe.
He turned back to Gwen, averting his eyes. "Never seen this place before." Ben shrugged and shoved his hands into his pockets, because that would be easier than trying to explain the sick feeling in his stomach. "Anyway, we should talk about Murowa. This is my head, right? And if she's trying to hurt me…" He grimaced. "I think I know where we can find her."
A/N: Special thanks to xcatxgirlx on Tumblr for indirectly inspiring this chapter as well as the next one! Months ago she made a post about Ben and the Omnitrix that really resonated with me — it completely reshaped this chapter and I think that this result is miles better.
Chapter Thirty-Eight: Death by a Thousand Cuts
