Be My Valentine

On Valentine's Day, the kids are all busy making valentines for one another. Charles brings a briefcase hoping he will get lots of valentines, just like last year. But while Melinda receives lots of cards, Charles gets none this year, thanks to Drew's machinations. Will Melinda and the other kids give Charles a valentine before Valentine's Day is over?

Inspired by "Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown," the "Recess" episode "My Funny Valentines," and the "Rugrats" episode "Be My Valentine"

February 13, 1967. In the fourth-grade classroom, the students were decorating their Valentine bags. Their teacher inspected each and every bag for creativity.

He said to each student, "Excellent use of glitter, Melinda… Nice frills, Charles… Wonderful pink and puce combination, Megan… Why, Drew. I don't see you working on your bag."

Drew replied, "Why even bother?"

"Are you sure you don't want to make your bag? I mean, Valentine's Day is to-morrow, and with no sack, you might not get any Valentines at all."

Upon hearing this, Drew grumbled, "All right! All right! I'll make my sack!"

And Drew decorated his sack, fearing what might come to him the next day.


After school, Chas, Melinda, and Drew were heading for home when Melinda asked Drew, "What was with you to-day? Why didn't you want to decorate your valentine bag?"

Chas said to Melinda, "It's time you knew."

Drew then said, "Every year, I make a Valentine bag in hopes of getting lots of Valentines, but every year, I only get one lousy Valentine!"

"But, Drew," said Melinda, "one Valentine is a lot better than no Valentines. One Valentine is plenty."

"Shows what you know, Cavanaugh. Valentine's Day is supposed to be the most beautiful day of the year, but my classmates hardly ever express it to me! I could have had many Valentines as early as kindergarten, but instead, my classmates cough up only one for me each year!"

"Well, maybe if you treated us better, you would get more Valentines than one," said Chas.

"Shut up, Finster!" shouted Drew.

Melinda replied, "Oh, cheer up, Drew. It's the tradition that appeals to me."

"And once in a while, there's candy," added Chas.

But Drew snapped, "Yeah, yeah, Finster! They got candy at Kelso's too, and you don't have to get Mr. Kelso a Valentine to get some."

And so, the three fourth graders went to Kelso's, where their younger friends were waiting.


At Kelso's, while Chas, Melinda, Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte were selecting materials to make their Valentines, Drew was moping by the counter.

"So, what'll you have, Drew?" asked Mr. Kelso.

Drew replied, "Strawberry milkshake, extra syrup."

"Extra syrup? Something eatin' ya, boy?"

"Well, it's that Valentine's Day has always been a disappointment for me. Every year since kindergarten, I get only one Valentine, while this Finster kid gets many Valentines! Last year, he got so many that he couldn't use his little bag to carry them all!"

"You know, Drew, what you need to do is stand back and take a good look in the mirror. You need to understand that there are other kids in the world. Things don't revolve around you. You need to learn to share and let others take the spotlight once in a while. What do you say to that?"

But to Mr. Kelso's surprise, Drew had left before he could receive his milkshake.


At the Pickles residence that night, Drew was muttering, dissatisfied, "Rotten, lousy quack! Thinking I should let others get more Valentines than me! I'll show Finster! I'll show everyone of my fourth-grade classmates that no one denies Drew Pickles a Valentine and gets away with it!"

And he cackled aloud until he heard his mother, Trixie, saying, "Andrew, I hear cackling. Is your homework getting done?"

"Yes, mom," groaned Drew as he stuck his head into one of his schoolbooks.


The next day, during recess, Drew stayed in the classroom as all his classmates ran for the playground and the teacher headed for the teacher's lounge.

Drew stayed behind because he had a sneaky plan: unbeknownst to anyone else, Drew had brought a pencil, and he scratched out Chas' name from each of his classmates' Valentines and replaced it with his own.

He knew that after recess, the teacher would hold a big Valentine's Day party for the entire class.


And after recess, the fourth-grade teacher said to his students, "Attention, class. Put your Valentines in this big box on my desk. Then, after lunch, we'll have our party and refreshments."

And every student in the classroom put their Valentines into the box… except for Drew, who hadn't bothered making any Valentines.

Presently, Melinda noticed that Chas was carrying a briefcase, and she asked, "Say, Charles, what's the briefcase for?"

Chas replied, "Well, since I got a whole bunch of Valentines last year, I figured that if the same is the case this year, I'll want to have something to carry them all in."

"Oh…"

Once all the Valentines were in the box, the teacher said, "All right, all right. Settle down, children. It's time to start passing out the Valentines."

And the teacher took some Valentines from his box and began to pass them out: "One for Melinda, and one for Megan. One for William, one for Linda, and one for… Drew?"

All the kids were shocked at the development, while Drew had to stifle his laughter as he took the Valentine from his teacher.

"One for Daniel. Where's Daniel? One for Malcolm. Where's Malcolm? One for Sal, and another one for Melinda. Another one for Drew, and another one for Melinda."

"Another one for Drew?" asked Sal. "I don't remember writin' more than one Valentine for that meanie."

"Wow!" said Melinda. "I'm getting a lot of Valentines this year! How times have changed since I moved here!" Then, she turned to Chas and asked, "How many Valentines are you getting, Charles?"

Chas sighed, "None so far. I don't understand it." Then, he raised his hand for the teacher, who asked, "Yes, Charles?"

Chas asked, "How about one for Chas?"

The teacher replied, "No, Charles. Not yet. I haven't seen your name yet."


The minutes passed, and before you could say "How do I love thee?" most of the kids had been given lots of Valentines, but the kids who got the most Valentines were Melinda and Drew.

But poor Chas still found himself with no Valentines. "Has there been a mistake?" he asked the teacher.

The teacher answered, "No, Charles. When I get one with your name, I'll let you know."


By 12 PM, all of the Valentines had been passed out, and the teacher said, "Well, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Lunch will be served momentarily."

Chas raised his hand and asked the teacher, "Are you sure there's none for me?"

"It looks like it is so," sighed the teacher. "There are none for you."

Chas was distraught, and he put his head onto his desk as he heaved a long, sad sigh.

Holding a large quantity of Valentines in her bag, Melinda asked Chas, "How many Valentines did you get, Charles?"

Chas sadly held up an empty bag as he sighed, "None."

Melinda was shocked. "How can this be?" she thought. "I specifically remember writing Charles a Valentine with a heart over the I in my name. Did it get misplaced?"

She then turned to Drew and said, "Look at that. Charles has received no Valentines whatsoever. I remember sending him a Valentine."

But Drew, hoarding all his ill-gotten Valentines, sneered at Chas and said, "Who would waste a Valentine on Finster?"

He then turned to the rest of his classmates and shouted, "Hey, everyone, Finster didn't get any!"

But none of the other kids made fun of Chas, because they saw how sad he was.

"Well, aren't you gonna join me in laughin' at him?!" cried Drew. Then, he turned to Chas and laughed, "And to think I used to think of myself as a loser for getting only one Valentine each year, but this year, I have lots of Valentines, while you have none!"

Poor Chas was so upset that, try as he might to stop himself from doing so, he burst into tears, and this type of crying was heartbreaking for everyone to behold. All the kids in the classroom, including Melinda, were completely shocked, except for Drew, who still had a smug grin on his face.

The teacher shouted, "Drew! Behave yourself!"

And the other classmates glared at Drew as Melinda said, "You ought to be ashamed of yourself!"


During lunch, Melinda seated herself with Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte, to tell them all about what had happened to Chas: "Statistically speaking, you would have expected to see at least one Valentine for Charles because I made a Valentine just for him, and he gave one to me, which means a lot to me, by the way. I think everyone else made a Valentine for him too, because we are all shocked when we found out that Charles didn't get any, while Drew got the same amount of Valentines Charles was supposed to get. I had never seen Charles cry like that before, and I doubt I'll ever see him cry even harder as long as I live!"

Stu asked, "Did Drew mock Chas for getting no Valentines?"

Melinda sighed, "Yes, unfortunately."

"I figured."

"Wow," said Charlotte. "Even I wouldn't stoop to mocking a kid, no matter how geeky he looks, for not receiving any Valentines. I mean, Valentine's Day is all about loving each other."

"Exactly," said Melinda. "On Valentine's Day, you gotta tell your favorite people that you love them, and if Charles can't enjoy Valentine's Day, then I can't either."

"So, what can we do to comfort him?" asked Didi.

Melinda asked in reply, "Do any of you have lots of Valentines?"

Didi answered, "I got lots of Valentines from my first-grade classmates."

Stu added, "And I got plenty from my second-grade classmates."

"Same here," Betty chimed in.

"And I got the most Valentines in my third-grade class," said Charlotte.

Then, Melinda said, "Good, because I also got a whole bunch of Valentines, and I have an idea of how to make good use of them…"


And so, after Melinda, Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte had finished their lunches, they each gathered a portion of their Valentines from their collections to contribute to their project. Didi brought some paste, Stu brought a pair of scissors, Betty brought some tape, Charlotte brought some crayons, and Melinda brought a pair of jagged scissors.

Charlotte said to Melinda, "That's some pretty fancy scissors you brought there, Melinda. What are you gonna use them for?"

Melinda replied, "Oh, the lace to decorate our Valentine."

And she demonstrated by cutting the bottom of the paper lace with her jagged scissors.

Charlotte said, "Well, since you put down your jagged scissors, I'll put down a crayon."

And, using a red crayon, she wrote something on some scratch paper.

As the kids put their Valentines together, Didi used the paste to stick them together to make one big heart, Stu trimmed the edges so it would look smooth, Betty taped the paper lace to the heart, and Charlotte used the red crayon to draw the message on the heart, with each of the five children signing their names at the bottom of the message.


By the time they were finished with their project, lunch period was almost over. And so, Melinda, Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte took their card to Melinda's locker.

"You think Chas is going to like it?" asked Betty.

Melinda replied, "Of course, Betty. Our Valentine for him is even better than the ones each of us got from our classmates. It has our signatures, and Charlotte's and mine are in cursive. I even dotted the I in my name with a heart."

"Wow!" said Stu and Didi together.

"And our Valentine has to stay nice and clean for Charles." And Melinda placed the Valentine in her locker, carefully preserving it in a plastic bag.

"Okay, Melinda," said Charlotte. "But once the last school bell rings, Valentine's Day is over, so we gotta get it to Chas before then, or it won't count."

Melinda, Stu, Didi, and Betty replied, "Okay, Charlotte."

"We'll make sure we get to Melinda's locker before the day is over," said Stu.

Betty agreed, "Yeah."

But Didi bashfully said, "I'm sorry, but I tend to be forgetful at times. I'm going to need a reminder."

"Oh, Didi. I understand," said Melinda as she took a piece of string from her locker and tied it to Didi's finger.

"There," said Didi with a smile. "Now, I won't forget that I need to give Charles his Valentine before the day is over."


During the Valentine's Day party after lunch, all the fourth-graders were having heart-shaped cookies and punch.

"Mm-mm! Cheery cherry punch! My favorite!" said Daniel as he guzzled the punch.

But Melinda didn't feel like eating cookies or drinking punch. She just stared at Chas as he sat at his desk and gazed sadly out the window.

She was also miffed to see Drew snickering as he gazed at the Valentines he had gotten. He could hardly wait to open them.

At this point, Melinda had had enough. She asked the fourth-grade teacher, "May I be excused for a moment?"

The teacher replied, "You may leave with this hall pass."

And after the teacher had handed her the hall pass, Melinda left the classroom for her locker.


In the third-grade classroom, while Howard was opening his Valentines and the other third graders were snacking on the cookies and punch, Charlotte asked her third-grade teacher, "May I please leave for just a moment?"

The third-grade teacher replied, "You may leave with this hall pass."

And she handed Charlotte the hall pass before the latter left for Melinda's locker.


In the second-grade classroom, Stu and Betty came to their second-grade teacher.

Stu asked him, "May Betty and I go out for a while?"

The teacher replied, "You may each leave with a hall pass."

As soon as he had handed each of the two children a hall pass, Stu and Betty went to Melinda's locker.


And in the first-grade classroom, Didi looked at the clock and then looked at her finger. It was then when she remembered that she had to go to Melinda's locker to present their Valentine to Chas.

She then asked her first-grade teacher, "May I please leave this place for a little?"

The teacher replied, "You may leave with this hall pass. Remember to present it when asked to do so."

"Yes, ma'am," said Didi as she left for Melinda's locker.


At Melinda's locker, Melinda said to Stu, Betty, Didi, and Charlotte, "All right. Now that you're all here, we can take our Valentine to Charles, and it's urgent. While the rest of us are enjoying ourselves, he's sitting at his desk all by himself, thinking no one will have any Valentines for him."

So, Melinda opened her locker, took the Valentine out of the plastic bag, closed her locker, and, allowing her friends to hold it carefully with her, took the Valentine down the hallways to the fourth-grade classroom.

There, Melinda looked through the doors and said to the others, "Look, guys. There's Charles!"

And Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte saw that while the other kids were watching classic cartoons about love, courtesy of their teacher's film projector, poor Chas was moping at his desk, all alone.

"Boy, this is worse than I thought," said Betty.

Didi agreed, "Yeah, he doesn't look too happy all by himself at his desk."

"Just wait 'til he sees our Valentine," said Stu. "Eh, Melinda?"

"Of course!" said Melinda as she opened the door.

All of the fourth-grade students, especially Chas, were surprised to see Melinda with a group of younger kids.

The fourth-grade teacher, also stunned, said, "Ah, Melinda. Glad you could come back."

Chas asked, "Hey, what are you guys doing here?"

Didi explained, "We asked our teachers if we could leave for a while."

Stu added, "When Melinda told us that you got no Valentines, we all felt kinda bad."

"So, we brought you a surprise," said Melinda.

And she, Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte presented a big Valentine made from their own Valentines, and it read: "For our best friend in the world, Charles "Chas" Finster. Signed, Melinda, Stu, Didi, Betty, Charlotte."

Chas was pleasantly surprised indeed. "Oh, is that really for me?"

"Nah, it's for the principal," joked Betty. "Of course, it's for you, Chazzy!"

Melinda explained, "We banded together during lunch, and we combined some of our Valentines to make one big Valentine for you, and in the center, you'll see that that sweet Valentine card you gave me is at the very center of this card."

Chas inspected the Valentine, and, seeing that what Melinda had said was indeed true, said to Melinda, "Oh, Melinda, this is the sweetest Valentine I've ever gotten, and I've gotten plenty of nice ones over the years. Thank you!"

And Chas hugged Melinda with all of their classmates watching with warmed hearts, except for Drew, who stuck his tongue out in disgust.

Stu then said to Didi, Betty, and Charlotte, "Look, you guys. Chas got his Valentine!"

And they all cheered with joy.

Presently, Drew was about to open "his" Valentines when the teacher called his name in the sternest tone he had ever used on one of his students: "Andrew Pickles."

When Drew looked up, the teacher began to scold him: "I'm afraid I owe the class an apology."

"What are you talking about?" asked Drew.

"As I was handing out Valentines, I noticed that nearly all of the Valentines that were supposedly for you had Charles' name crossed off them and replaced with your own. And since you're the only one of my pupils who doesn't really like Charles, I figured you were the one who did this."

Chas smiled with delight upon hearing this. "I wondered why I didn't get any Valentines!"

The teacher then said to Drew, "Dig through this pile of forgeries until you find the Valentine that is genuinely yours."

Reluctantly, Drew dug through his pile, inspecting every ill-gotten Valentine for a name that hadn't been crossed out. If the Valentine did have a crossed-out name, the teacher made him give it back to Chas, who lost no time in stashing it in his briefcase.

Finally, Drew got to the Valentine that genuinely had his own name in it, and he was so terrified he threatened to throw it away.

But the teacher said, "Uh-uh-uh! You must share your Valentine with the rest of the class."

Drew obliged, and he opened the Valentine and read: "Drew, Will you be mine? A land mine, that is. Sal."

This time, all of the fourth-grade students laughed at Drew's humiliation, even Chas and Melinda. Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte, despite being younger kids, laughed as well.

But the one who laughed the most was Sal, the class clown. She shouted, "Man, a joke card! I've given Drew one of these cards every year since kindergarten! Payback! Sweet payback!"

As Drew buried his face in his hands with embarrassment, the teacher said to him, "And you've got detention for a whole month!"

"What?!" cried Drew as he put his empty Valentine sack over his head in his chagrin.

"Boy, he looks so embarrassed!" chuckled William.

"Oh, too bad," said Chas in mock sympathy as he and Melinda laughed with the rest of the class.

After having had their laughter, Stu, Didi, Betty, and Charlotte recovered themselves and looked at Chas and Melinda.

"Wow, Chas," said Betty. "All that time, Drew diverted your Valentines into his bag!"

"And I just thought I was a miserable failure," said Chas.

"Nah, Chas," Stu replied. "You're not a failure at all."

Melinda then said to Chas, "No kid is a failure who has friends."

And Chas and Melinda hugged each other in a manner of expressing deeper affection for each other…