Cowboy and Clown
At last! Ben had the house completely to himself. He loved his wife, Miranda, and his son, Tuck, and his job, but having alone time was a treat he didn't often get. He crossed his ankles and blasted the TV, summoning the surround sound. He watched his Golden Eagles as they faced the Gamecocks. A knock on the door just before halftime made him groan. Looking out of peephole, he saw Miranda's ex-husband and Tuck's father, Tucker. He opened the door. "Hey, man."
"Hey," the man said just outside of the threshold. Ben didn't have a true problem with him, but they definitely weren't friends. "Can I…?"
"Oh, yeah. Sure." Ben closed the front door. "Yeah, um, Miranda and Tuck aren't here. They had a mother-son movie date."
Tucker nodded. "I know. Tuck texted me." Ben couldn't put his finger on the right word to describe his tone. Because if he knew that, why was he here? "I wanted to talk to you." Tucker put his hands in his jacket pocket.
Ben picked up the remote and aimed it at the TV, muting it. "I'm all ears."
"It's about Tuck."
"What about him?"
"He told his friend an interesting story the other day."
"Yeah? What about?" Ben kept his responses short and targeted.
"He told a kid from my neighborhood that his dad had come to his school on a fire engine and helped a student deliver a baby." Ahhh. Now, they were getting somewhere. "And how he almost got in trouble, but his dad helped him."
"I'm not seeing…"
Tucker cleared his throat. "So, of course, the kid is wondering how he didn't know that I was a fireman seeing as how he's known me for years. And it dawns on him and on me that I'm not the dad that Tuck is talking about. I'm not the dad he brags about that. That he's proud of."
"Tuck raves about you." Ben scratched the back of his neck. He'd told Miranda to have a discussion with Tuck and with Tucker a few years ago when Tuck had first called him "dad". But everything had gotten delayed. Now the boy was almost fourteen, it was too late to do anything about it now. Wasn't it? And had Tuck been switching back and forth all this time? Calling Ben "Ben" when he was with his father? Ben's heart dropped into his stomach. "Look, Tucker, I understand how you must be feeling."
"Oh, do you?"
"You're hurt. Maybe a little angry."
"Something like that."
"But what do you want me to say?"
"I want you to make it clear to Tuck, like I will when I see him."
"Make what clear?"
"That you're not his father!" Tucker yelled and Ben went from concerned and sympathetic to pissed.
"One thing you won't do is come into my house and make demands of me concerning my son." He saw Tucker twitch. "That's right. My son."
"He's not your child, Ben."
Ben gritted his teeth. He hated the way Tucker said his name. Such contempt. "He is."
"He's not!" Tucker took a long step and ended up two inches away Ben's face. He was seething.
"Do it."
"Don't tempt me."
"Tempt you? I'll let you get the first hit." Ben jutted his chin out and waited. Because as soon as Tucker took a swing, he was going to wear his ass out, right in the home his ex-wife decorated. Tucker took a step back. "Wise."
"I told Miranda I didn't like him calling you 'dad'."
"It was Tuck's decision."
"He was a kid."
"He still is a kid."
"You know what I mean. He was a small, impressionable boy and you were… the new guy. His buddy. Pick-up and drop-off stepdad." Accusatory. That was the word. That's what Tucker sounded like.
Ben had moved from pissed to angry. "Is that all you think of me?"
Tucker shrugged. "It's all you goddamn are."
"All I am, huh?"
"That's right."
And you're weekend dad. The doesn't-show-up-to-conferences-or-practices dad. The I'm-coming-to-get-you-oh-wait-I-can't dad."
"Screw you. I show up."
"On your terms. But I'm always there. He might get mad or embarrassed, but I'm there. And I'm not relinquishing that title. Tuck's my son, point blank."
"And just how awful do you think Miranda would feel if Tuck started calling another woman 'mom'? She wouldn't like that shit."
Ben ran his tongue over his teeth. He knew she would hate it. It would drive her insane. But there was one difference. Something Tucker was forgetting. "I've known William George Bailey Jones since he was four years old. Four. By the time a new woman comes into his life that he calls mom, he'll be out of college. Hell, he might even have a wife." Ben chuckled and closed the distance between them again. "You see, I've cleaned his sheets when he's wet the bed. I've eaten more dinosaur chicken nuggets than half the country combined because that was all he wanted to eat when he was seven. I… I have played more Fortnite than I've ever wanted to. I've been to more games and plays and recitals and speeches and fairs than I can count." Tucker's shoulders dropped. It was slight. Ben saw the movement, but he didn't stop. He went right for the kill. "And I sat with him two weeks ago while he threw up in my living room." Ben pointed behind Tucker who didn't bother to turn around. "Right there. Because he just couldn't make it to the bathroom."
"I've done those things, too," Tucker said waving his hand.
Ben let him lie. Tucker needed that lie and Ben didn't have to clock him on it right now. "As you should because you're his father. And so am I."
Tucker crossed his arms. "No, you're not."
Ben tossed his hands up. "I'm going to be real with you. Tuck loves you. And respects you. He's been calling me 'dad' for years and you just found out. He's fourteen," he laughed. "So, for years, he called me 'Ben' in front of you because he knew you'd be hurt." Tucker made a noise. "And there should not be any competition between us. We both want the best for him."
"Exactly. And I know what's best."
"If you make him choose, you're going to break him."
"He'll be fine."
"And he'll choose you. Not because his feelings, but because of yours." Tucker shrugged. "And he'll always know what kind of man you are and resent you for it."
"I'm leaving," Tucker said pushing past Ben.
"For the record, I don't care what Tuck calls me. Hell, he could call me 'Olivia Pope'. But he knows that if he calls, I'm coming. I don't put him on the backburner or the waitlist."
"Whatever." Tucker opened the door.
"Have a good night. And call before you come next time."
