Last time I was whining about that the chapter was too short and now I got it back to a nice length. Also, the next chapter will get a bit more intense again. But also this chapter has it in him. So I'll give a little warning here. This chapter contains a brutal and maybe disturbing scenery.
Disclaimer: The Loud House belongs to Nickelodeon.
Chapter 44
Facing your demons
Lincoln enters his home and finds three of his sisters in the living room.
"Hey, girls. What's up?" He greets Lori, Luna, and Luan.
"Hey, Linky. Did you literally have a nice day?" asks Lori.
"Yeah, Clyde and I had a great time in the arcades. Thanks again for the money. I promise to pay it back to you."
"No need to. You already are paying it back literally every single day."
Lincoln tilts his head to the side. "I do?"
"Yeah, of course. With your literally kindness and being the most adorable and best brother in the world," she tells him while taking him in a loving hug.
Lincoln's entire head becomes red because she was pressing him into her bosom. He had to fight the urge to caress her well-formed breasts.
But it looks like he wasn't the only one which got a little bit excited about that. He could see that his big sister got pointy nipples.
Is she... Had she... Does she love me the way I love her? Wonders Lincoln.
"Eh, Lori? C-can you let me d-down? I. I have to g-go... well, you know," he says to her.
"Oh, sorry." She let him slightly embarrassed down and so he goes up into the bathroom.
"Jo, sis. I hope the little dude hadn't noticed that you had forgotten to wear a bra," says Luna to Lori while pointing at the little bulges.
"Oh. Eh, it's literally a little chilly in here. I, eh... I better go and grab a bra."
Lincoln was in the bathroom. But not because he had to pee.
"Goddammit, Lori. You can't drag me into your breasts like that. Your wonderful, round, and soft breasts."
He shakes violently his head. "No. I can't think about her like that. She is more than a nice pair of breasts."
But a look down at the now noticeable bulge in his pants mad one thing more than clear. He liked Lori's Breasts.
He let out a loud sigh and then locked the door.
The toilet seat goes up and Lincoln's pants and undies down.
With closed eyes, he grabs his hard dick. A little drop of pre-cum was already on the tip.
Slowly, he moves his hand back and forth. "Oh yeah. That feels so good. Oh, Lori. Your so wonderful, your breasts are stunning," moans the white-haired boy while he was jerking off.
It doesn't take long until he feels his climax coming. And with a releasing moan, a load of sperm erupts out of his cock.
"Oh god, I really needed that."
"Lori's body always gives you this tingly feeling. We can feel it too," says a voice to him. But as he looks scared around, there was no one with him in the bathroom.
"All right. That's enough. D? How... how is it possible that I can hear her? Am I going crazy now?"
There was no answer to his questions. After a while, he cleaned himself. Flushed the proof of his puberty away and goes back to his room.
As Lincoln opens his door he was surprised to see his sister Luna standing in there.
"Hey, Luna. What are you doing here?" he asks her.
"Oh, hey dude," she answers and puts one of his model spaceships back where it belongs. "I just wanted to take a closer look at your room."
"My room? What is so special about it?"
"It's your room, silly. It shows your personality. Taking a closer look at it means taking a closer look at you as a person."
"Luna. We are siblings. I think you get plenty of close looks at me."
Luna laughs. "Yeah, that's true. But your room doesn't lie. It doesn't hide anything. It shows me who you really are."
Lincoln looks slightly puzzled and with a raised eyebrow to her.
She clears her throat and continues. "In the last days, I got this feeling that I didn't know that much about my own siblings. Or at least, about some of them. I'm just afraid that I could lose sight of you guys."
"I'm sorry about all of that. This whole depression thing affects all of you and not just me. I'm a burden for others."
Luna was angry to hear him saying that. But not only angry but hurt too. So she snaps and slaps him.
Shocked he looks at her.
"I'm sorry, Lincoln. But say something like that never ever again! You aren't a burden. To none of us. I would give my guitar if it means that you will still be at my side. I can't imagine life without you."
Lincoln caresses his cheek. It hurts, but not as much as the look in Luna's eyes. "Sorry, Luna. I... I needed that. It is good to have you and I'll never leave you. I promise."
"I'll take you by your word, dude. Come here, let me see your cheek." He takes his hand away and Luna gives him a gentle kiss on it. "Better now?"
He blushes and giggles slightly. "Y-yeah. Thanks. So what had my room showed you about me?"
She looks around the room one last time to take everything in. "It shows me that you're a total nerd," she answers jokingly. "But I love my nerdy brother."
"Good to hear that. And I love my rock'n'roll sister."
Then both were quiet. No one of them did know what to say next. It was clear that something was in the air but neither of them was able to say what it was.
"Eh, well. I think I go back to my room now and strumming a bit of my guitar," breaks Luna the silence then.
"All right. I'm still here if you want something else."
Luna nods and goes then.
Back in her room, Luna closes her door and then sinks to the ground.
"I just wanted to take a closer look at your room. What was I thinking?" Luna smacks her palm against her forehead. "I'm such a coward. Why can't I just for once tell them my true feelings? I never had found the courage to tell Sam and now it is the same with Lincoln. Even after Luan had told me that he might have it for us, I just went off with my tail between my legs."
She sits there for several minutes until Luan wanted to enter her room too but couldn't.
Luna stands up and lets her sister in. "Sorry, Luan. I, eh... I was just changing."
"Sure. As if there is something I haven't seen by now, sis. What's really up? You can tell me."
"It's nothing. I just..." Luna sighs, "I just wanted to figure out if Lincoln really is interested in me. But instead, I just talked stuff with him."
"Wow," says Luan surprised. "The great Lulu is afraid of asking her wittle baby-brother out," she said mockingly to Luna.
"Yeah, yeah. Just make fun of me. As if you could do it so easily."
Luan gave her a very confident look. "If you want I can go to him and ask him if he would date you."
"Are you crazy? He would definitively be disturbed by that."
"How would you know that? You never had tried. You only will get an answer to that when you get some balls and ask him."
"Just because my chest is flat and I have short hair doesn't mean I'm a guy, dude. You know well enough that I'm a chick."
Luan laughs loudly. "Oh yeah. How could I ever forget that little incident."
Luna becomes red as the remembers that night again.
She got home pretty late from a concert. At that point, she was so tired that she just had taken off her clothes but forgot to change into her sleep attire. And as she tried to climb up on the upper part of the bunk bed, she fell butt first on the floor. That woke Luan up and she saw her sister in front of the bed. Naked and with legs spread wide.
"You promised to never mention that again," says Luna embarrassed.
"Relax, sis. It wasn't that bad. At least I had a nice view." laughs Luan again.
"Yeah, really funny."
But what Luna didn't know was that her sister meant it. After that incident, Luan had an interesting dream with her.
It was quiet in the otherwise loud house of the Louds. That's because it was already night time and everyone was sleeping.
But young Lincoln was restless. He tosses around in his bed. Left and right. Right and left. Sweat drops, as big as pearls running down from his forehead.
He must have a nightmare again.
It was dark. So dark that Lincoln could barely see. But what he could see terrified him.
He was strapped onto a bench in the middle of a room. The walls were solid concrete. And nowhere was a door or another exit to be seen. At least not in the places where the light came.
"W-where am I?" asks the frightened Lincoln into the dark. "H-hello. Is anyone there?"
His call was heard. A pair of two red glowing eyes appear in the dark.
Lincoln let out a not all too manly squeak. "HELP. PLEASE, SOMEONE. HELP ME!"
But nobody came.
The glowing eyes come closer and closer until a large figure comes out of the dark.
When the light shows the creature, Lincoln was speechless.
It was very bulky. It looked like some kind of orc or bridge troll. Or more like a combination of both. It was terrifying.
But the worst was the orange cloth it wears, the white hair on its head, and the very prominent, chipped bucktooth.
It was a monstrous version of Lincoln himself.
And now he saw everything from the view of this... this thing.
It gets closer to the small body and inspects it. The monster Lincoln looks the body up and down and smells on it.
And then, without a warning, he punched Lincoln right in the face.
Lincoln felt the pain. But he also felt the anger in this creature.
He was both, himself and the monster at the same time.
He grabs the small head and punches again. And again. And again.
After the last punch, Lincoln's bucktooth flies in a large bow out of his mouth and into a dark corner.
The next thing, monster Lincoln does is to take one arm in both hands.
Lincoln already knows what his other version is up to. "Oh no. No, no, no, aaaaaahhhhh." He screams in pain as his arm breaks like a twig.
Then comes the other arm. And his legs. One bone after another gets broken. And that not only once. After a while, his bones were only small pieces in his body.
Only his skull and spine were untouched. But he was sure that this wouldn't be for much longer.
And he was right.
Now he was hanging upright on his broken arms. His legs were also fixed. As if he could still move with his crushed body.
His other him was behind him, grabbing his hair and pulling.
"Can't you just finish it? Just end me you ugly motherfucker!" he shouts. But the creature made him understand what this was all about.
He was Lincoln's self-loathing. And this was to fix all the things he hated about himself.
Before Lincoln could say something again, his hair and scalp were torn off.
Again he let out a shattering scream that echoed through the room.
There he hangs. Bleeding, panting, and crying. "Wh-what comes next? D-do you want to... to skin me? Forcing your thumbs in my eyes?"
He was wondering how he still wasn't unconscious at this point.
His other me was still behind him and grabbed him at his shoulder.
And with a strong thrust, he pushes his hand into the small, broken body to grab his spine.
Lincoln gargles as his lungs fill with blood.
Than the orc-troll pulls. But he wasn't pulling the spine out of the body. No, he tried to straighten it.
And still, Lincoln was fully conscious. The pain was beyond anything he was ever going through. Even being stabbed hadn't hurt that much.
Now monster Lincoln stands in front of him and starts to scratch the skin off the body.
He tries to scream but it wasn't easy with all the blood in his mouth.
Finally, Lincoln awakes out of his sleep and screams everything he has in him out of his lungs.
That, of course, wakes all his sisters and parents too. But also the neighbors.
The old Mr. Grouse was shouting through his window because of the noise.
Lynn and Rita have their hands full to explain to the neighbors what that was.
Mr. Grouse thought they were slaughtering their kids.
Meanwhile, where all the sisters stormed into Lincoln's room.
"Linky? Is everything all right? What hap—" Lori said as she enters the room. But quickly after that Lincoln jumped at her and clings at her as his whole life depends on it.
He is shaking like crazy. Softly Lori takes him in an embrace and all the others too.
All except Leni. Normally she would be the first one to help her little Linky to calm down again. But now she was the last one that joints the group hug. She was afraid that she couldn't hold back anymore. It is wrong to love someone else when you already have someone.
"It, it was terrible. Pure horror. It was the worst nightmare I ever had," he cries.
"It's okay. Everything is fine now. The nightmare is over and we are all here. If you want you can sleep with me aga—" Lori says softly to him to calm him down.
"Eh, Lori. Would it be okay when he sleeps with, with me?" asks Luna slightly nervous.
Lori knows that her rock sister had a crush for Lincoln. Had. That is past tense. That means she hasn't a crush anymore on him.
She hasn't, or did she? Lori thought to herself. "Well, that depends on what Linky says to it."
He raises slowly his head. His eyes are completely red from crying. He looks to Luna and slowly nods.
"All right. Come here, big guy," she says and takes him. He felt again like a little baby but he doesn't care this time. It felt nice that his sisters cares so much about him and also didn't laughing at him.
Luna goes with Lincoln in her arms into her room and helps him up into her bed.
All the others wish Lincoln a good night and hope that Luna helps to keep the nightmares away from him.
Luna lays herself behind her brother as the big spoon and soon he falls asleep again.
She, on the other hand, not. It was hard for her to sleep when the guy she loves is right there, into her arms.
Again was she frustrated that she hadn't found the courage to tell him the truth.
We all have to face our demons. But sometimes you still can lose.
What do you think about this nightmare? For this, I didn't need to use my fantasy. Because my head gives me this very so often. A picture of how my own self-loathing is overgrowing everything. If you start to hate yourself things can become really bad really quickly. And because of the self-loathing, you don't do anything about it. Why should you? You deserve it, right? Well, that's a little insight into how I think about myself sometimes. I don't want to get pitied. I just want to show how bad this stuff can get. So, please. Give yourself the love all of you deserve. And when you can't, then take the love from your friends and family. No one deserves to go through something like that.
Oh, and Lincoln in the bathroom. That was something. Since Lori was going for a bra she got close to the bathroom door. Do you think she had heard him doing it?
Stay tuned and have a great day.
