how senseless death; how precious life
-la dispute
•••
Quickly, Mei set off teaching Iris everything that she was taught since birth. Being a Chang heiress, the knowledge came to her as simple as breathing, but the alchemist had just started and it was already giving her trouble. Al joined too, but he seemed to grasp the concepts more easily. Iris just couldn't think! Wrapping her head around it all seemed impossible, then to be thrown more new information about Xingese philosophers and alkahestrists gave her an overwhelming sense as strong as the ones she experienced when being swarmed with people's memories. Mei sensed her distress and questioned her.
"What is so hard to understand?"
"I just don't understand how this applies to me!" She shouted, throwing her hands up in frustration.
"It applies to you in every way possible, Iris. The Xingese twins changed the concepts of things that alkahestry still uses today. For example, the dragon's pulse! From what I've gathered, you have an intense version of this experience as a result of this power being forced onto you. That's why you can not only sense a presence or a population but also read memories from their past. I imagine the conjoined twins practically created the dragon's pulse."
"You mean you can teach me how to control the flow of the memories that enter my brain?"
"It may take a copious amount of time, but yes."
Iris leans over and squeezes Mei with all her might.
"I'm sure she'll be able to teach you more about qi, too," Al said, happy for his friend.
"Where should we start?"
Before Mei can answer, Marcoh is shouting for the three of them.
"We have a situation! Meet me in the outskirts of the city!"
The trio gets up and runs after him, heading just outside Azbeck. Iris and Mei exchange a look, and the small girl shouts to her over the whipping wind.
"Do you feel that?!"
"It's a homunculus!" Iris yells. "It's the qi, or whatever! They emit a big one because there are thousands of souls in them!"
Sure enough, when they see Marcoh and their two chimera acquaintances in the distance, Envy is standing in front of them all with a menacing smile. Iris feels the cries of all the souls build inside her, and it squeezes her heart in pain.
"-bunch of idiots!" The homunculus finished speaking just as the three approach the group.
"What's happening, Marcoh?" Alphonse asks.
"Karma, I think they'd call it. Or penance." The old man steps forward, stumbling on the snow.
"You talk so much about these souls you obtain," he shouts to Envy, "but you have no idea of what they cost. Yes, it's true! I made philosopher's stones from human lives, more or less voluntarily! Just seeing you, one of my creations, the guilt eats me alive!"
"Then this will surely cannibalize you!" Envy laughs and steps back, giving themself enough room. The snow around them suddenly flies in different directions as one of Envy's limbs hits the ground and grows gigantically, turning a sickening green shade. Suddenly their body changes to account for the strange limb, and they are now a green beast in front of them, the faces and limbs of the stone's souls crying and reaching out for help. To Iris, they all seem to plead for her. Her heart feels as if it's being choked to death; it's unbearable. Then, all at once, she convulses and falls into the snow.
•••
Iris's first waking realization is that her head is going to split open from the nasty headache she's currently experiencing. She groans and rolls over on the uncomfortable cot. When she hears Mei's shrill voice calling her name, the headache pain multiplies. The girl comes over and gently turns her back over to face her. Alphonse towers behind her.
"What happened, Iris?" Al asked, crouching down to her lying position. He, Mei, and her panda are looking at her with great concern.
"Hell if I know," she muttered. "I should be asking you that."
Mei informed, "Doctor Marcoh said you had a seizure." At the girl's surprised face, she supplies more information. "You were overwhelmed. The homunculus' qi and dragon's pulse was too intense after seeing the figures inside them."
"Like a sensory overstimulation inside her brain?" Al questioned, concerned for her.
"Precisely." The alkahestrist puts a hand on her chin in thought. "I didn't think this had such an effect on you. Teaching you is more important now than ever."
"Well can you teach me how to cure my aching head?" she asked, only half-sarcastic.
"Oh, so Edward's girlie-friend is awake then?" A voice says. Iris doesn't recognize the voice, only the size of the qi. It pains her, and she panics.
"Envy?!"
Alphonse grabs the jar off the nearby table. Iris couldn't believe what exactly she was seeing. "Don't worry," he tries to soothe. "They're harmless now." The ugly green amphibian-looking creature bounced against the walls of the glass, making frustrated noises. Mei's panda cowers. Al lightly shakes it once. "Okay, mostly. Mostly harmless."
Envy's squeaky lizard voice rings out from the jar. "Let me go already!" They struggle. Iris sits up and holds out her hand for it. She receives it and grimaces.
"Writhe, you jealous thing," she whispered so only the creature could hear. They make a feral sound in anger.
Scar comes towards the group and takes Envy. Before Iris can protest, he hands it off to the Chang heiress. "Here, girl. Take this back to your own country. It could be of use to them, and bring honor to your clan."
Mei is surprised and conflicted. "I couldn't possibly take this. Not when Amestris is counting on us!"
"You fool! You're too caught up in the affairs of a country that is not your own! You cannot dare return home with nothing to show." Scar scoffs. "Alkahestrists - so selfless. Think for your own benefit."
She gulps. "Y-Yes, sir."
"Wait, you're going to Xing? Take me with you!" The alchemist interjects. She laughs nervously. "I'm way in over my head about all this. I need you to teach me more about qi, the dragon's pulse, and alkahestry. I mean, who better than you?"
"I don't see why not."
"Is now really the best time?" Al questioned nervously. Iris could sense his sadness, and pulled him aside. She loved this boy like a younger brother, and to see him so distressed at a mention of her departure tore her apart.
"I... I'm not whole if I don't know who I am. You saw what happened. I can't live the rest of my life like this... Please understand. I promise I'll be back soon. I'll kick ass right beside you and Ed and everyone else, but I just need some time for myself. To find out who I really am, so that I know where I'm going. You understand, don't you?"
"I... I know. I hope you find what you're looking for."
"I do too." Iris goes to embrace him, despite how cold her face gets when it meets his iron chest plate. He does the same gesture.
"Be safe while I'm gone. And see if you can get in touch with Ed. I'm sure he's recovering fine but he never knows how to stay out of trouble." She laughs. "What am I talking about? Neither of you do."
"I suggest you make haste," Scar butts in, annoyed, to say the least.
"Right," Mei agrees, looking to Iris. She nods, signaling that she's ready to go.
They all walk to the path that leads east of the town. The road eventually ends, and Iris and Mei are the only ones walking by the time evening arrives. During that time, Iris finds the panda Xiao-Mei on her shoulder. She decides to accept it, not question it.
There's not a train station for these small villages, so Mei decides to begin teaching on the road until they reach a bigger town. She speaks of the principles of alkahestry and the dragon pulse's importance.
"You see, the dragon's pulse gives insight to people's natural energy. For instance, a homunculus. All the souls inside of one may add up as morally good rather than morally bad, but the homunculus' energy itself is the evil energy you feel when one is nearby."
Mei holds out the jar to inspect the homunculus-lizard again. "Try reading its pulse."
Iris stops walking to concentrate while the small girl holds it in front of her. She tries to focus on the black aura she sees instead of the thousands of different colored ones that must be all the human souls. There isn't a speck of color on Envy's soul.
"They have no morals or good character," Iris realizes. "There's no light..."
"Correct. This is truly an evil being."
"All the people in there are succumbed by the darkness from the homunculus... No sense of self anymore, just a void with no escape." She takes the homunculus and shakes the jar, angry. "You're a waste of life, you homunculus. So many humans died, and for what?" Her throat felt as if it was closing up. "You hear me? You should've never been created. Innocent, precious life, all for you!" Her tears fell onto the glass and ran down the sides.
"Iris," the younger girl said quietly, rubbing her back to calm her down. She took the jar and tucked it away. Iris furiously rubbed her eyes.
"Stupid thing," she mumbled.
"I think that's enough lessons for today."
•••
The girls spent many days on the road, whether on foot or on train, yet, it was all for naught. Envy could persuade anyone, including two intelligent girls who just wanted to do the right thing. They were heading back to Central.
"You don't have a lot of time," Envy had said. "The Promised Day is too soon for you to be soul-searching, don't you think, Iris? You heard what Alphonse said. It might not be the best time for all of this.
"I know you're going to kill me, both of you. But little girl, don't you think I'd be more use to you in Central, where you can learn to gain immortality from me? Won't that really bring pride to your country?" The homunculus had planted doubt into their insecure minds, and it outsmarted them.
They had barely noticed, but between their travels and lessons, the spring season was beginning to take over. They were too busy teaching or being taught to watch the trees regrow their leaves and flowers to come back to life.
Iris felt snubbed of Xing, but was still grateful for the lessons from Mei on how to control her powers to some degree. The Xingese girl promised with continuous practice that she would no longer feel so overwhelmed, and for that she was thankful.
When they arrived at the heart of Central City, Iris figured it was time to pay another visit to the Bradleys. She wouldn't dare put her friend in that household, though; Envy was too much of a risk and Mei's life had already been threatened by Fuhrer Bradley once. Not to mention he doesn't take kindly to foreigners in the first place. He made that evident when fighting Ling and his entourage.
"Listen, Mei, I'm going to do both of us a favor." The alchemist took Xiao-Mei off her shoulder and onto her owner's. "You have to lay low until all of us can come together again for whatever this Promised Day is. You'll need a place to stay here in Central." Iris takes out a pen and her ragged journal. She scribbles an address she's memorized by heart and gives the page to her friend. "This is Roy Mustang's address. He's my brother. He'll let you stay with him. Please, let him know I'm okay. Things are complicated, and I can't make contact with him. This is my only way."
Mei nods. "Of course."
Iris spontaneously hugs her. "Thank you for teaching me so much."
She smiles brightly at her, proud of her student. "Anything for a friend."
