As the host for Chad's bachelor party, Sonny feels contractually bound to stay all the way until the end. Which turned out to be some place called Doug's where the booze goes down smooth, and the strippers were well paid.
Not that anybody noticed.
In the spirit of good-fellowship, Sonny tucks in one last dollar in the lacy garter on a well tanned thigh, then pulls a glassy eyed Chad to his feet.
"Let's get going."
"What? Why? Is it morning?"
"Just about."
As they make their way out, arm in arm in friendship as much as necessity, Chad takes a look around. His head bobs back and forth like a puppet on a string.
"Where'd everybody go?"
"Passes out, arrested, or dead in a ditch."
"Wimps." Chad puts on a clearly plastered smile. "You and me, Son. Still got it."
"I'm going through a round of antibiotics to make it go away." Sonny trips, having to grab Chad to stop himself from falling on his face. "Heavy. There's suddenly way too much gravity out here."
"Let's go find another naked lady."
"I think we found all of them in one night. We're going home, buddy."
"In three days I'm gonna be married." Chad holds up two fingers in demonstration. "No more frolicking for Chad DiMera." He looks around again. The square is practically deserted and glazed from the light rain. "Do we need bail money for anybody?"
"Who cares?"
"You're so right. Where's my fiance? Abi!" Chad shouts, the name echoing back, prompting a drunken snort from Sonny.
"Stellaaaaa!" Laughing at his own joke,Sonny sits down in a puddle. "Fuck it. We'll just sleep here."
"Nuh uh. Gonna find my beautiful fiance and make sweet love to her all night long."
"You couldn't screw anything with Viagra."
"Wanna bet?" Chad fumbles for his zipper, and luckily Sonny has a few brain cells still intact to stagger over and stop him.
"Put that away before somebody gets hurt. Or we're arrested for indecent exposure."
"Who cares? We're bigshots."
"Speak for yourself. Find a cab. We need to find a cab."
"Cab to Abi. Where's my blushing bride?"
"Sleeping in her bed, like every decent person is at…" Sonny lifts Chad's wrist, trying to look at the watch. "Something o'clock in the morning. WIll's in bed. He thinks I'm a straight woman."
"You're doing something wrong in bed, then."
"No, you dumbass. And remind you to hit you for that later. He thinks I'm alice."
"You haven't been sniffing around Victoria's Secret, have you?"
"Black with the red rosebuds are the most flattering on my ass."
"I'm almost positive that's a joke. Wait." Chad stops, leaning over, hands on his knees. Then he straightens up. "False alarm. Don't need to puke."
"Best nes all night. Taxi!" Sonny waves frantically when he sees one passing by. "In the name of all that is good. You first." he says, all but shoving Chad inside before diving in after him.
"Where do I live?" Chad demands. "I know this, but don't remember. Can we call Abi and ask?"
Thankfully Sonny does remember, and as Chad snoozes on his shoulder, he focuses on staying awake until he fulfills his last duties as best man, making sure Chad gets home safe.
At the curb, he elbows Chad and brings him up. "What, huh? How? Sonofagun, I made it home. What're the odds?"
"Can you get home from here?" Sonny asks him.
"I can hold my own. All six gallons." Shifting, Chad catches Sonny's face, kissing him hard on the mouth. "I love you, man. But if you'd been Alice, I would've used tongue."
"Yuck." is all Sonny can manage as Chad climbs out.
"You're the best motherfucking friend I've ever had, and that was the best motherfucking bachelor party in existence. I'm gonna go inside and throw up, now."
"You do that. Wait till he's inside." Sonny tells the driver, and watches Chad stagger as he somehow gets inside the building.
"Okay, the rest is up to him. You know where the DiMera mansion is?"
The driver looks at him in the rearview mirror. "I suppose so."
"I live there. Take me home?"
"That's a long drive." The driver shifts, turning to eye Sonny up and down. "You got enough for your fare?"
"I got money. Loads." Sonny digs through his pockets, pulling the bills out, showering the cab with them. "I'm stinking rich."
"You're not kidding." Shaking his head, the driver pulls away. "Must've been one hell of a party."
"Tell me about it." Sonny mutters, then slides onto the seat face first.
