"So, where do you actually want to go?" Four asks.
The three are currently at the Square, in an area further away from Deca. It's still busy here - the Square always is, really - but it's more quiet in comparison to the screaming excitement of Deca, at least. They're just perusing the streets at this point - they got here about ten minutes ago and still haven't settled on anything.
"Like I said, we didn't eat that long ago," Eight mumbles in response. Against the concrete sidewalk, Eight's boots make a nice and cool Clomp Clomp noise, which should totally add to her sex appeal. Of which she has a lot, but now she has MORE. Yeah. Sexy. Eight is sexy.
Yeah. Haven't you heard?
Eight fucks.
Anyways, Eight's amazing sex appeal aside, she kinda wishes she wasn't here right now! Which, not to be rude to Four, 'cause Four is a really nice person and all, but like, what she was doing with Three was infinitely more fun than walking around aimlessly in the Square.
"... Hey, what's that place?" she asks, pointing at... A building. The windows (if they can even be called that) are pitch black and reflective, so you can't see in it and you maybe can't see out. The doors are also like that, and the handles are just a simple silver. There's nothing identifiable there save for the neon sign reading, in all caps, ELF TIME! "Is it even open?"
"Oh," Three says nonchalantly, "That's the elf sex dungeon. Don't worry about it."
"The elf-" Four sighs and shakes her head. "No, it's some thing for Squidmas-"
"Elf. Sex. Dungeon," Three repeats sternly, giving Four a harsh glare.
"Okay. Fine. Elf sex dungeon."
"Elf sex dungeon," Eight repeats under her breath, cocking her head to the side. "... What's an elf?"
"So, um, I think originally they were acolytes of Altamaha-ha? But over time they were eventually reduced to... Short little fancy dudes with pointy ears," Four explains.
"And they hate dentists," Three adds.
Eight blinks. "What?"
"Yeah." Eight looks over at Four, who merely nods. "It's true."
"... And what's a sex dungeon?"
Three and Four share a look. Their mantles flash briefly, blinking hues of vibrant colors, and Eight, who does not know Squid Head Morse, clears her throat.
"... Hello?" she says quietly.
"... It's okay," Three mumbles eventually. "You don't need to know."
"Okay," Eight softly responds, and she knows in her hearts of hearts that she has to know as soon as possible. "But, um... Where do you want to go, exactly?"
Three looks over at Four and Four looks over at Three and Eight just has to sit there.
"... Eh," says Four with a shrug. Helpful!
"Wherever," Three mumbles, checking her nails. Helpful! "It's up to you, I don't care."
"You, like, just suggested we go to the pizza place," Eight snaps, crossing her arms. "And it's your birthday, Three! Not mine, yours!"
"Mh." Three keeps looking at her nails as a thin stripe of red shoots across her mantle. "I don't want pizza, though. Like I said, it's up to you."
"... What about that Jellain place that opened up down the street, then? It's supposed to be g-"
"I don't like Jellain," she says, cutting Eight off.
"... Anglerian?"
"Tatzelwurm beloved, are you trying to fucking kill me?" Three responds, words harsh but tone neutral. "I'll get a heart attack or two. Clogged arteries galore."
Four's mantle flashes a few times to get Three's attention before lighting up in a dizzying array of vibrant, blinding hues. Three responds by flashing back a few colors, and then both mantles light up in the same shade of purple. Three's mantle then begins rapidly - frantically, or, no... Excitedly - shifting colors (mostly all in the pink-to-orange range) all while Four's mantle grows greener as she starts blushing.
"OKAY," Four says eventually, apparently cutting Three off. "Alright. Uh, I really did not need to know all of that? But. Y'know. You have fun, uh. With that."
"Yes!" Three replies, grinning. "We will. Absolutely, we will."
Eight's not sure if she wants to know what just happened or if she just wants to be colorblind. Both seem like good options right now, honestly! Maybe both. Yeah. Eight'll have both, then.
"... Did you decide on what you wanted to eat?" Eight asks dryly, resting her hand on her hip. She bites back a quip about, ahem, 'octo pie,' for... Well, a few reasons. A few reasons Eight doesn't need to say in a list, because she's not some sort of amateur, but also because Pearl already made an... 'Octo pie' quip, and Eight really doesn't want to ride off the coattails of her mom's - err, well, sister, legally, but she's got a Big Mom Energy - success... Or the mental images that cum with that! Err, come. Come, yeah. (Eight suppresses a gag at that. Disgusting.)
"Yeah, uh- Pizza's fine, yeah." Three grins widely, with an almost crazed look in her eyes that's brimming with... Pure chaos.
"You jus-"
"Yep!" she cuts her off in a sing-song (Three, in a SING-SONG. Unbelievable!) tone, grabbing Eight's hand with her left and Four's in the other. "I know. People lie sometimes, Eight."
Eight shoots Four a look. Four shoots Eight a look.
"Three is an idiot and a little bitch," they agree, and then leave it at that.
Eight's excited! For pizza! Eight really likes pizza. She can't think of a food that she doesn't like! Well. Maybe tofu, because it almost tastes like the nutrition blocks she had in the Domes, but other than that, she can't think of a bad food! … Well. There's also pigeon, but it's less of a "This tastes bad!" and more of a "They're really cute and eating them makes me feel like a bad person!", which is more or less the same thing. Eight might prefer tofu to pigeon, actually.
But, see, you knew all that already! Just something Eight thought she should bring up, though. Just in case you forgot. Only, see, Eight's not all that excited for pizza. Sorry, she knows lying's wrong and immoral but if her girlfriend can get away with it, she can too! She's not even really hungry, truth be told, because she ate, like, maybe two hours ago? And she only sort of agreed to it because it was the first thing that came to mind in an admittedly, uh... Lust-addled (?) state.
... No, not lust-addled. That sounds too creepy. Too - what's it called? Frickin' names - too, uh... Atramentonian-cartoon-things, the horny ones? It'll come to her eventually, yeah... But anyways, Eight wasn't lust-addled, it was more of, uh... Vague desire. No, no, it wasn't vague, it was just... Desire, but then that also sounds like some weird aspiring SeaFloorChan incel was trying to decide on a word for horny when he was spewing some purple prose to crank it to, and- You know what? Eight's just going to admit it. Eight was horny, and that's why she's eating pizza.
... Hm. Yep, no, that's a weird thing to hear out of context. Thank god these are just Eight's thoughts, with no one else to listen in on them! Haha.
Sure would, uh, be a shame if someone was listening in on her shameful inner monologues, wouldn't it?
Ha.
Haha.
Anyways,
"We're here!" Three breathes lightly as they step inside Sand Dollar. "It's been a bit since we came here, right?"
"I came here last we-"
"Didn't ask you!" Four glares down at Three. Three smiles up at Four. "Anyways. Eight, last time you came here wasn't recently, was it?"
"... Mh?" Eight blinks, having zoned out while thinking about... Things, and people, and actions! "Oh. Um, yeah. The last time I came was with you, yeah."
"Oh, when you had a gay breakdown in the parking lot?" Four asks, voice sweet.
"We vives'helne-" Eight feels her face heat up. "It wasn't a breakdown, Four!"
"It was a breakdown," Four responds flatly, holding open the door for the two of them.
"It wasn't!"
"No, Eight, it totally was," Three mumbles as she enters the building. "It's okay to be gay."
"No it isn't, Summer. Gay people aren't real." Three snickers a little after Four says that. Eight blinks and opens her mouth to speak, but then she remembers that her friends (with BENEFITS?) are stupid, and their humor is stupid also. "Don't let the media fool you."
"Fuck," Three hisses, almost theatrical. "You're serious? You mean the gays aren't real?"
Four solemnly shakes her head. Three mimes sobbing. Eight makes eye contact with the waitress waiting for them all, so she lightly kicks Three's shin with the Clomp Clomp boots to tell her to stop crying.
"Um, hi!" Eight greets the waitress. "Three, please?"
Three looks up for a second before she realizes what's going on. She blushes slightly at her mistake, but she doesn't say anything, so neither does Eight - she just takes hold of Three's hand again and gives it a gentle squeeze, and the action makes Eight realize something - she's in love.
...
... Wait.
... Oh, shit.
"Kāsne," Eight swears beneath her breath.
Three looks over at her and cocks an eyebrow. "If there's something wrong, you can tell me," she says - or her face does, at least - to which Eight shakes her head with a slight smile.
"Thank you, angel," Eight mumbles in a hushed tone. Three's face flushes a dark orange, and she gives Eight a smile - something Eight didn't even know she was returning.
Lunch - if it could even be called that - went well, all things considered. At some point though, Eight had to admit that she and Three were slowly but surely getting maybe a little bit handsy - not a lot, and definitely nothing illegal, but, you know, more than nothing - and maybe Four eventually caught wind of the shenanigans and maybe, possibly Four told them all to just fuck already for the love of god, and maybe, possibly, potentially Eight confidentally told Four that they absolutely would the moment Four was gone, and maybe, possibly, potentially, perhaps Three and Four looked about as mortified as Eight felt once she realized she said that out loud, but- Okay. Point is, it worked, and now they're going home, and Eight might maybe possibly potentially perhapsially maybesially might be thrilled beyond belief, but who are you to judge?
... Oh, but wait! Wait just a moment, now - Eight remembered something important. Something relevant. Something... Something a little awkward.
The, eh... Anatomy issue. Because, that's a thing? Eight'll... Spare you the details - for the most part - but inkling sex was all 'pushy-pushy meat and other things' and octoling sex was all 'we're gonna cut off part of your hair, and then we need you to release some Bodily Fluids on it.' So, well... Yeah. No, that... That was awkward, actually.
And so, Eight thought to herself, "Fuck! How will I dig myself out of this hole?" And the other, equally wise Eight responded with, "Just don't tell her. You can blame it on Kamabo, or something," but lying in that sort of intimate setting just seemed, well, wrong. Regardless, though, Eight settled on just telling Three, so when Four pulls in into their shared apartment complex building thing, they all step out and Eight hooks an arm around Three's waist, giving her butt a small squeeze.
"When we get inside," she murmurs, "We need to talk, okay?"
"... Okay," Three breathes, nodding against Eight's skin. "When- When we get in, we will."
Admittedly, the next few minutes were sort of a blur - hasty goodbyes, a few thank you's, a promise to text later, and a growing anxious pit in Eight's stomach.
By the time they made it to Three's apartment, Eight might have been freaking out a little. Just a tad, though.
"... So?" Three cocks her at Eight. "Did you actually need to talk about something, or..?" Her voice trails off, but her fingers toy with the hem of her skirt, almost teasing.
"Ah, well..." Eight heaves a sigh, opening the door to Three's bedroom and taking a seat on the bed, which Three also does. "It's... Both, almost."
"Both," Three repeats, voice flat.
Eight swallows hard and nods. "... Yeah. Uh, so- Okay, there's no way for me to put this nicely: about how much do you know about Octarian reproduction?"
Three's mantle flares up green. "What?"
"... Mh. Okay, so, uh. You want an explanation, or are you more... Hands-on?" Eight forces out, her face molten. She can barely meet Three's eyes anymore, and she knows for a fact Three won't meet hers anymore.
"I- Um. Well." Three has one of her tentacles in both hands as she gently squeezes it, thinking. "... I know the stereotypical 'sexy' answer would be hands-on, but- Can you just, give me a rundown? ... Please?"
Eight laughs to herself. "Yeah, I- I will, uh..."
And thus, Agent 3 received the 8th Coming of the Sex Talk: Octopus Edition. And the 8th Coming of the Sex Talk: Octopus Edition actually... Didn't really go that horribly. By the end of it, Three actually looked like she almost knew what she was getting herself into, and Eight didn't really feel like she was being melted by acid from the inside-out, which was a bonus.
"So," Three says quietly, a different shade of blue pulsing throughout her mantle. "What'd you say about a hands-on approach to learning, earlier?"
"Oh," Eight responds with a smile, "I really didn't think you'd take me up on that."
Raucously, Three laughs, bowling Eight over onto her back, and Eight's so happy that this is who she fell in love with.
