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Always and Forever
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Disclaimer: Harry Potter, and all the characters associated there with belong to JK Rowling, and Scholastic. Also, any similarities to any other work is unintentional. I make no profit from this story. I wrote it, just for fun.
AN: As always, a very special thank you to, Dementor149, for his tireless efforts in helping me with this story.
AN2: Well, first of all, my apologies for taking so long to get back to this story. For all of you who have hung in there, thank you! Sometimes life takes up most of my time off, which is the only time I have available for writing. In this case, a reoccurring heath issue for a family member.
But enough of that, on with the story… I know a lot of you were not happy with the latest turn of events, and things are not going to get better for a couple of chapters, but they will! On the bright side, this year ends with chapter 48 and it's almost ready to go. So, there should be no more delays until then. Working around my work schedule, I should be able to post a chapter about once a week… maybe a day or two later at most. I made a promise that I would finish this story and I still have every intention of doing so.
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Chapter 38
Drastic Measures
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The next few days were beyond strange for those who knew Harry and Hermione. The tension between them was so thick, it grabbed you by your senses as soon as you entered a room with them. Hermione had just clamped up, she wouldn't talk to anyone. Only when called on in class did she speak and then it was to the absolute minimum. Her teachers and friends knew about the breakup but nobody knew why. They could all see how withdrawn and sad she was but hoped she would eventually get over Harry and return to her old self. Harry, for the most part, was acting similarly, but instead of hiding out in the library or in his dorm, like Hermione, Harry would just find a quiet out-of-the-way place and disappear for hours, sometimes not coming back to the tower until well after curfew.
Both still patrolled the halls as part of their prefect duties, but instead of patrolling together, McGonagall had allowed them to take a friend with them instead so they wouldn't have to patrol alone.
In class, Harry and Hermione had managed to discreetly reseat themselves so they didn't have to talk to each other. During the few times they did bump into one another at meals or in the halls, they'd nod or say hey but then quickly look away and move on, each stealing a glance back only if they were sure the other wasn't looking.
~oOoOo~
Breakfast that Saturday was a rather mixed affair at the Gryffindor table. Most were excited about the upcoming game; it being the last match of the year, with only their friends trying to curb their enthusiasm, so as not to upset Harry or Hermione. They had hoped by now that their moods would have started to improve, but in fact, they were getting worse. Normally, Neville, Luna, Hermione, and Harry would sit together and watch the game, with Harry occasionally pointing out some of the better moves. However, today Neville and Luna found themselves walking down to the pitch alone.
"There is definitely something very wrong between them," said Neville, referring to Harry and Hermione.
"Well, Ginny is convinced it's all Harry's fault, something he did," Luna replied, rather seriously. "But personally, I don't think so," she added softly a moment later.
"Oh, Why not?"
"Because they have something special between them, a connection. It's like one I've never seen before, even in adults. But I do think you're right, this is more than a plain old fight."
"What then?"
"I don't know, something else… Nargles maybe."
Neville couldn't help but think she was right, maybe not about the Nargles, but about it being something else. He also couldn't help noticing how cute she was when she had that dreamy smile on her face.
As they approached the pitch, Ron came up and asked, "Where's Hermione, isn't she with you guys?"
Luna answered coldly, "Nope."
Ron looked at her a little funny, then at Neville, hoping for some more information.
"Haven't seen her or Harry since breakfast," Neville said.
"Figures," Ron huffed slightly annoyed, "well I better go, wish me luck."
As he turned and left for the Quidditch locker rooms, Luna asked, "What's wrong, Neville?"
"Just wondering why he didn't ask about Harry."
~oOoOo~
There was quite the party going on that evening after dinner in the Gryffindor common room. Nearly every Gryffindor was there celebrating their win over the Puffs. Besides a couple of first-years, the two most noticeable people missing were Harry and Hermione.
"Still no Hermione?" Ron asked as he sat down next to Neville.
"No, afraid not. No Harry either for that matter."
Ron looked at Neville as if he'd grown another head. "Why would I care about Harry, after the way that bloody prat treated Hermione!"
Neville raised a brow, "Oh, What'd he do?"
Ron huffed, "Ask Ginny, she'll tell you," he answered angrily, before standing up and storming off to talk with someone else.
Neville, now sitting alone on the couch thought how nice it would be to talk to Luna about all this. 'Well, she's back in Ravenclaw right now, so that isn't going to happen.' Besides Ginny, he also figured it wouldn't hurt to talk to a few others, to try and find out what Ron was talking about. But it would have to wait until tomorrow though, he didn't want to ruin anybody's good mood tonight. "Yeah, tomorrow maybe," he sighed. He just couldn't get in the party mood when two of his best friends were hurting.
~oOoOo~
Harry was taking a shower after his morning workout as he reviewed his thoughts from earlier. Even though it was Sunday, he had needed to get out; to be alone with his thoughts. The funny thing was, normally he worked out and ran with Hermione in the mornings. Except for class, he'd only seen her once last week. He knew she was still running at least twice a week, so that meant she must be doing it later in the day. As the hot water flowed down his back he thought, 'It's weird… I go out to clear my head and I find myself thinking of her again, and I end up even more confused. If she wants to do new things, why is she still doing the same old things? And if she wants to date new guys, why is she hiding away?' Harry sighed; the water felt good as it eased some of the tension away. He still wasn't sleeping well; besides worrying about Hermione, he'd had that strange dream again. It was mostly the same as last time, with only slight differences. He knew Hermione could probably figure it out, and that would start him thinking about her again. Harry decided that later today he would find Hermione and try and talk to her again. He wasn't going to just let her go that easily.
~oOoOo~
Neville had asked Luna at breakfast if she would like to go on a walk later and she of course said yes. They had been out for about an hour walking around the lake just talking when Neville finally got enough courage to ask her what had been on his mind for a while now. "Luna, I know we've only been a couple for a short while, but I was wondering if… well, you see, Gram and I are…" Neville tried.
"It's Okay, Neville, go ahead and ask, I'm sure it'll be all right," Luna said softly with a bright smile.
Neville didn't know how she could possibly know what he was about to ask, but as he looked into her eyes he was pretty sure she did. "Well, Gram and I are going away this summer for a month, and I was hoping you could come with us."
"Well, I'd have to ask father, but I don't think he'd mind; he's terribly busy these days with the paper and all." Then Luna took his hands in hers and with that dreamy look so unique to Luna, told him, "I think that would be brilliant Neville," then she stood up on her toes and gave him a soft kiss on the lips.
Neville beamed, "Yeah, I think you're right, it would be brilliant!"
~oOoOo~
As Harry wandered the castle looking for Hermione, he couldn't help but notice more often than not, he was getting some pretty hot glares from the girls. He even noticed one boy from Ravenclaw shaking his head as he went by. 'Now what?' He thought for a second, but was too concerned with finding Hermione to give it much thought; after all, it wasn't the first time there'd been some nasty rumor going around about him.
Harry sat down on the steps just outside the door to the path that led to the lake. A minute later, he felt Crookshanks rub up against his leg. "Hey there fella, how's it going?" Harry smiled, at least Hermione's familiar still wanted to be around him. Harry reached down and gave his ginger friend a scratch and was rewarded with a soft rumbling purr. Sitting there with Crookshanks, Harry briefly thought of talking to Dobby. Then, just a few seconds later laughed out loud as he imagined how that conversation might have gone. 'No, that's a bad idea,' he further thought. Dobby's emotions were unstable on a good day, 'Best not to worry the little guy, at least for now.'
Looking out over the grounds he saw his friends walking up from the lake and it brought a smile to his face, 'Luna is good for him,' he thought, then his smile slowly faded as he pictured himself and Hermione in their place. 'It always comes back to her, doesn't it?' As they approached, he waved and gave a weak smile, "Hey guys."
"Hey," Neville returned, then added, "You ah… you want some company?"
Harry smiled unconvincingly, he knew his friends were only trying to help, but he also knew there was really nothing they could do. "Thanks, Nev, but no, not right now."
After a glance at Luna, Neville gave Harry a quick nod, "Alright mate, I guess we'll leave you to it then."
As they started to walk away, Luna called back over her shoulder, "We'll be here when you're ready, Harry."
Harry nodded. Then after a few more minutes he looked down at Crookshanks again and said, "Well, boy, I can't sit here all day moping. Maybe I'll go and write a letter to Sirius."
~oOoOo~
Lavender had just finished up a charms assignment and was getting up to go down for lunch. "Well, that's all I'm doing for now, I'll work on the rest later." As she headed for
the door Lavender looked back at Ginny and added, "You staying or what?" Since her friendship with Parvati had cooled, Lavender had been spending more time with other girls, hoping to make some new friends. Even though Ginny was a year younger than her, Lavender liked how feisty Ginny was and enjoyed hanging out with her.
Ginny smiled and said, "Be down in a few, I want to talk to Ron for a minute." Not wanting to be around her ex, Lavender gave a nod okay, then turned and left.
"So, you find out who Harry was cheating with yet?" Ginny started.
"No," came Ron's hesitant reply, "I haven't talked to him since you told me." Ron had found, that for some reason, he really wasn't that angry with Harry anymore.
"Well, it can't be any of the girls from Gryffindor."
"No, I wouldn't think so," agreed Ron, "what about a Ravenclaw?"
Ginny thought for a moment, then with a frown and said, "I don't know, it seems the most likely though."
"Well, it bloody well had better not have been anyone from Slytherin!" Ron finished with an angry tone.
~oOoOo~
Harry was about to give up his search for a while but figured he would try the library one more time. 'If she's not there, I'll wait until dinner and…' his thoughts trailed off as he saw the person he was looking for. But before Harry walked up, he stood there and watched her for a moment. Normally she was so beautiful, but today as he watched, he noticed how worn out and tired she looked, and even a little sad. Finally deciding to get on with it, he walked up, "Hermione have you got a minute?" He asked softly.
She had been sitting at her favorite spot near the back, over in a corner. Hermione hesitated for a moment; she was still very leery of her self-control, and very much aware that Harry wasn't the type to give up so easily. She also knew she couldn't run away, at least not right now, so after a second Hermione said with what she hoped was a neutral look on her face. "Sure, Harry, what's up?"
'She's trying so hard to be brave,' Harry thought. He could see it in her eyes, on her face, and just the way she held her hands. "Look, I don't want to make you uncomfortable but… can I sit down for a minute?" Harry said, again with a soft voice and a tentative smile.
"Of course you can, Harry, please, sit," Hermione said with just a touch of anxiety.
Harry wanted so badly to reach out and grab her hands and to hold her just one more time. Hermione was watching Harry, trying to figure out just what he was thinking and noticed he was staring at her hands. 'I wish I could touch him,' her thoughts un-knowingly identical to Harry's until another thought interrupted, 'No, you can't'… but this thought seemed foreign to her somehow.
Harry looked up at her, "I hate this," his voice was still soft and gentle, but she could tell he was having a hard time with everything. "It's just so… so difficult," turning away, he went on, "I know what you said, and even if you really believe that…" Harry was having a tough time talking, "I'm not sure I do." Hermione started to respond but Harry turned back and held up his hands holding her off, "Wait, please let me finish while I still can." He looked down and in a very low voice continued, "While I still don't understand, I believe you. I believe you need or maybe have to do this, so, I'll do what you want for now, but..."
She sat there staring at Harry, unable to talk. There wasn't anything she could say that wouldn't be either mean or hateful. It was all she could do to keep from breaking down and crying.
Harry looked back up and stared into her eyes and they sat there, neither daring to break the moment. A moment they both so desperately needed. After what seemed far longer than it really was, Harry sighed and said, "Hermione, can… can we still be friends, can we at least talk once in a while?"
"It's hard for me too, Harry," Hermione said. Now it was her turn to look away. She wasn't going to be able to say this and look at him at the same time. "Maybe in time, but not right now… I'm sorry, Harry, I just can't, not now…" 'Why?' She briefly wondered, but before she answer it, the thought quickly faded away.
Oh… I…" Harry had been hoping that they could maybe slowly work things out, now he wasn't so sure and it felt like another little piece of him just died. "Well, I was hoping…" Harry quickly changed his mind about what he was going to say, "I was thinking of holding a couple more D.A. classes soon. I hope you can still come and help. You don't have to work or even talk to me, but I'm sure the others would appreciate your help, so…"
"I'll be there," she said in a cold business-like voice.
"Okay… Well, I'll leave you to your work then," Harry said as he slowly stood up. Walking towards the exit, he stopped by the door and took a last look over his shoulder. Hermione was just sitting there staring at her book. She had never looked so small and alone as she did right then.
Shortly after Harry left, Hermione had decided she needed to get out, after all she wasn't getting any work done anyway. She further decided on a good workout and then a long hot shower to clear her mind. Later, lying in bed it occurred to her that Harry wasn't likely to move on anytime soon, not with the way things were now, he was just to stubborn to give up. The irony of the situation didn't escape her; he didn't want to leave her any more than she wanted him too. Unfortunately, she had no choice. She'd have to try something else. She had to find a way to get Harry to move on. Finally, like every night this last week, Hermione fell asleep with tears slowly sliding down her cheeks. 'Yeah, I hate this too, Harry,' were her last thoughts before the night finally took her.
The next couple of days were awkward at best, for both Harry and Hermione. In potions class Harry had moved a row back, and every now and then Hermione would catch him watching her. In charms, it was the other way around. They both looked sad and upset and both wanted to say or do something, but Harry couldn't because he had promised Hermione, and although she could, she wouldn't… she had to be strong. It didn't help matters any when they both noticed more and more couples hooking up. Fred had finally asked Alicia to be his girlfriend proper like, and George quickly followed suit and asked Angelina. Neville and Luna of course were already a couple. Even Ginny seemed to be with someone. As Hermione was heading back to the dorms for the evening, she almost ran right into them, Cormac and Katie were right in the middle of a huge row.
"How dare you!" Katie screamed at Cormac. "How dare you even try and talk to me after what you did!"
"But it didn't mean anything, really."
Katie was furious. Hermione was sure the older witch was about to hex him to hell and back any second now.
"Just get out of my sight, while you still can."
Cormac was smart enough to know when to quit, "Fine, whatever," he said, then turned and hurried off.
Katie just stood there for a second shaking as he walked away. Then as her anger turned to grief as the reality of what had just happened hit her, she sank to the floor sobbing.
Hermione rushed over and dropped down next to her and grabbed her hand, "Katie, what on earth?" Katie, who was normally quite strong, both physically and mentally did the last thing Hermione expected, she grabbed hold of Hermione and held on as if her life depended on it. She was sobbing so hard she couldn't talk. All Hermione could do was hold her and let her cry. Finally, after several minutes she began to let up, "Merlin, Hermione, I feel like a fool. Thanks for…"
Hermione cut her off with a shake of her head, "Nonsense, I don't know what happened but obviously it was bad," She said softly.
"He was cheating on me… behind my back. He was seeing another girl, he, he was…" she couldn't finish, as she started crying again.
Hermione gave her another hug and then pulled her up, "Come on, let's get you back to the tower." A little later Hermione had managed to get Katie into bed and calmed down.
"Thanks, Hermione."
"Don't mention it. I'm sure it hurts but in time… well, you know," Hermione said softly while sitting on the edge of Katie's bed.
"Yeah, I know. How about you though," Katie replied sadly, "you don't seem to have gotten over Harry cheating on you?"
"What?" Asked a surprise Hermione, "What are you talking about?"
"Harry, he cheated. That's why you broke up with him, right?" Said Katie as if it was obvious.
"No! That's definitely not why… Look, it's not Harry's fault, believe me," Hermione paused a second, then with a distant look added, "I have my reasons, but I can't say. But please trust me when I say, Harry is still a great guy."
Katie seemed to think about it for a minute then turning sad again said, "Well, I guess whatever happened has to be better than this. I mean, if you can't trust the one you're with, what's the point."
"Yeah," Hermione agreed with a slow nod, "hey, are you going to be okay for now?"
"I think so," Katie said, wiping away the last of her tears. She pulled the covers up and added, "You're good friend, Hermione, thanks."
"You're welcome, now try and get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning," and with that, Hermione smiled, then got up and headed back down to the common room. Sitting by the fire, Hermione thought, 'I can't believe how upset she was.' Then it occurred to her just how powerful emotions could be when you find out someone you trust is doing something like; lying or cheating on you. With that thought in mind, a painful idea slowly started to form. It was a horrible plan, but she was desperate. Hermione startled, 'What? Why am I so desperate?' She shook her head to clear the fog that suddenly seemed to come from nowhere, 'No, I could never hurt Harry like that…' Hermione's mind seemed to wander and she forgot what she was thinking. Then the plan came back to her. 'I'll need a partner,' she thought sorrowfully, 'but first I need to find out more about this rumor and put a stop to it.'
~oOoOo~
It was lunchtime in the Great Hall and Hermione was taking her time eating for a change. She was watching Ginny and Lavender as they sat in their usual spots talking excitedly and laughing about something when Harry walked in. Suddenly both girls got serious and started talking in low whispers while giving Harry some nasty glares. Sure enough, most of the girls who had noticed Harry's arrival were also giving him a look that could kill. Even some of the boys were scowling at him. Hermione shook her head thinking, 'it must be a heck of a rumor.'
Walking through the doors into the Great Hall, Harry scanned the crowd and saw Hermione sitting alone. He was tempted to go and sit by her but he knew it would only upset her. On his way to an empty spot further down the table, Harry stopped across from her for a second, "Hey," he said, as he looked down at her with a forced smile on his face.
"Hey," she answered politely. Harry looked a little sad or maybe it was just loneliness, probably both she thought. His eyes however, told a different story; one of hope and determination. It made her heart swell to know Harry still cared for her, but at the same time, she knew it also meant everything else would be that much harder.
There it was, for the first time in over a week, Harry saw his old Hermione. It had only lasted a moment but he saw it in her eyes, even her face seemed to relax for the briefest amount of time. Then all too soon, it was gone again. She looked so unhappy and Harry was sure he saw a hint of fear as well. The moment was broken by a loud huff coming from his right, Lavender was staring daggers at him. Harry turned back to Hermione, who now looked a little worried. "Been getting a lot of that lately," Harry said weakly, "must have wronged someone… let me know if you find out who, 'kay?" Harry said, trying to ease the tension with a joke. "Well, better go, see you at the D.A. meeting."
"Bye," was all Hermione could say. She had wanted to tell him it was all just a misunderstanding and that she'd soon have it all cleared up… but she couldn't. Not here and not now anyway. He'd start asking questions which she couldn't answer and he'd want reassurances which she couldn't give. She would set things right tonight at the meeting and hopefully put a stop to the rumors.
Hermione had cut her afternoon workout short so she could work on what she wanted to say tonight at the D.A. meeting. She pretty much had it worked out in her head as she made her way up to the Room of Requirement, but when she entered and saw everyone there, she suddenly felt nervous and a bit panicked. Harry was already there and after a few minutes to let some last-minute stragglers show up, he brought the meeting to order. Hermione was surprised at how cool Harry was staying, considering the very cold reception he was getting and it gave her confidence. Not wanting to wait any longer, she looked at Harry and caught his eye and with a look told him she wanted to say something. Harry stopped and gestured to her, "I believe Hermione would like to say something. Please give her your full attention."
Hermione gave Harry a small quick smile of acknowledgment, then turned and stepped forward to address the group. She stood there for a moment just looking at everyone. The twins were watching her with a gleam in their eyes and she was sure they were planning their next prank. Some of the girls were giving her a look of confidence, as if to support her in some sisterly way, sure that Hermione was about to tell them of Harry's wrongdoings. Finally, her eyes fell on Ron, he was looking back at her with an expression that was kind of unreadable, almost as if he was waiting for her to say something he wanted to hear. That snapped Hermione out of her daze, "Sorry, ah, I want to talk about Harry." Instantly the room fell silent. Hermione stole a quick glance at Harry and found him staring right back at her. "There are some rumors going around concerning Harry. I don't know who started them or why," she paused and turned to face her ex-boyfriend. "Harry, it seems that people think the reason I broke up with you…" Harry was now looking at her with such intensity, that she had to look away, turning back to the group she continued, "was because you cheated on me." No one said a word, and Hermione chanced another look at Harry.
"What?" He started to say before Hermione raised a hand to stop him.
She could always tell what he was feeling just by looking into his eyes. Right now, they told her of his panic and concern. 'He's afraid that's what I think,' she thought. With a soft smile, she told him otherwise and he seemed to relax, if only for a bit. Facing the group once more, she went on, "The fact is, nothing could be further from the truth." Several people turn and started whispering to their friends, while the others just stared back at her. "Harry has always… and I mean, always been honest and true. He has never cheated on me and has never lied to me… it's just not in his nature."
Harry had been watching and listening to Hermione as if his life depended on what she had to say. Even now, even though they were broke up and not a couple anymore, she was still defending him. 'She hasn't changed,' he thought, and for the first time in a while, he wore a genuine smile, even if it only lasted a moment.
Again, Hermione surveyed the crowd; Luna was beaming at her as if she knew something no one else did or maybe she was thinking of something totally different. It was hard to tell with her sometimes, Hermione thought. Neville, who was standing beside her, just nodded in understanding, accepting what she had said without question. Ron looked a little disappointed, 'What's with that?' She briefly wondered. Then she caught Ginny's eyes and she knew what was coming next.
"So why did you then?" Her younger friend asked, and once again you could hear a pin drop.
"That's between Hermione and me." Harry answered for her knowing she wouldn't be able to herself. He would have liked to have heard the answer… the real answer, but not here, not now. Like he told the others, it was between him and Hermione.
Hermione spun around and stared at Harry. She had hoped nobody would ask because she knew she couldn't give them an answer, but Harry could. 'He's always there for me,' she thought. They both just stood there, looking at each other for a moment.
As Neville watched, he couldn't help but think, 'If you didn't know better, you would swear they were still together.'
Harry could tell Hermione was grateful for his help and could also tell she was desperate to change the subject. "Well, I think that's enough of our business for tonight. Let's get to work, that's what we're here for, right?"
~oOoOo~
The rest of the week went by pretty much uneventfully, in fact, by the end of the next day things were kind of returning to normal; girls were smiling at Harry again and the boys were once again talking to him. But of course, that meant their friends were left wondering again, what had really happened.
Friday during dinner, a small group of girls including Ginny, Padma, her sister, and a few others, were sitting around the table talking. "Well, I don't care, you just don't break up with someone for no reason," Ginny was saying.
"Unless you're Romilda," giggled Lavender. Ron had dumped Romilda a few days ago, and she in turn dumped Michael, and now was already dating another fifth-year.
"Well, I think Ginny is right in this case. There's more going on than we know," said Padma, "but we probably won't know until they're ready to talk."
Luna, who had just walked up and heard the last part of the conversation said indignantly, "You know, it's most likely personal." Then while staring right at Ginny, added, "Some of us probably even have a few things that we'd rather were not made public either," Then with a smile that seemed to come from nowhere, she finished, "So, I'd just leave it all alone." She stood there for a moment and continued to smile looking at nothing in particular for a few seconds and then just turned and left.
They all just sat there and watched as Luna walked away, some shaking their heads a little. "I don't think I'll ever get her," said Padma. The other girls nodded in agreement, all except for Ginny. She was thinking of something else; Luna's comments had hit a little too close to home.
Hermione was sitting a little further down the table and had seen the exchange between Luna and the other girls. 'Do I even want to know? Probably not,' she mused. As she slowly ate her dinner, she thought back on the last few days. 'A whole week, almost two actually since... At least I can finally get some work done now without crying every half-hour. Does that mean, I'm starting to forget Harry?' She wondered, and that very thought brought tears back to her eyes. Then as if on cue, Harry nervously sat down opposite her.
"Hey," he said with a small smile.
Hermione quickly composed herself. 'Damn, how does he always find me just when I'm thinking of him,' she thought before answering, "Hi, Harry."
Harry sat still for a moment just looking at Hermione, he couldn't help but think how much he missed just staring into her eyes or really, how much he missed her.
"Harry?"
He was abruptly brought back to his senses. "Oh, sorry, I wanted to thank you for saving me."
"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked with a confused look.
"I really didn't know why everybody seemed so mad or upset with me, but last night, what you said… well, it all clicked and well… Anyway, thank you for your kind words.
"Oh ah, well, you're welcome; you know I would never let a lie like that go, right?"
As Harry sat there looking at her, he knew she meant every word. "Yeah, I know." Staring into her eyes he could tell she still cared. There was still hope.
Hermione was starting to feel uncomfortable as she stared back at Harry. The conflict was building; she cherished every second she could spend with him, but the longer they were together, the closer they were getting. So with sad resolve, she started to stand, "Well, best be on my way, classwork to finish and such." She tried to keep as neutral a face as possible.
"Yeah, me too," said Harry, "hey, maybe we could knock out some of it together?"
Hermione froze for a second before slowly turning to look at Harry. She could see the hope in his eyes, desperate for any little chance to be with her. Oh God how she wanted to say sure, I'd love that as well… then in a blink of the eye, she thought of Katie and the idea she'd had. Harry had just inadvertently given her the opening she'd needed and before she knew it, the words were out of her mouth, "Maybe this Saturday," 'damn, what am I doing,' she suddenly thought irritably, she hadn't really thought this out fully yet. But it was too late, Harry had a smile on his face that was bigger than she'd seen in quite a while.
"Okay, Saturday, see you then."
Before she could say anything else, he was up and gone. She was committed, 'Now what are you going to do Granger?' she wondered in frustration.
~oOoOo~
Neville was having breakfast Saturday morning when Hermione suddenly plopped down next to him. After a very brief conversation; one that consisted of her talking and him listening, she was off, leaving a slightly confused and dazed-looking Neville behind.
"What was that all about?" asked Luna as she slid in next to him.
"Don't know really, said it was real important though." A second later, Neville went on, "Wants to meet with us and Seamus at lunch to ask a favor."
Ron was sitting across from Dean and had watched the whole encounter. "That was weird."
"What?" Dean asked, looking around.
"Hermione and Neville,"
"You mean Luna and Neville."
Ron turned and looked at Dean, "No, not now, before."
Whatever, look mate, I got loads of work to catch up on, later."
Ron glanced back at Neville and Luna, then back to Dean, "Yeah later… hey, maybe a game of chess or snaps this afternoon, okay?"
As Dean was leaving, he said over his shoulder, "Okay."
As Ron finished his breakfast he thought, 'Been pretty quiet this week.' Standing up, he started for the door and said with a smile to no one in particular, "Wonder how long that will last?"
~oOoOo~
As soon as lunch was over, Hermione lead bewildered Seamus, along with Neville and Luna to an empty classroom. It took her nearly an hour of arguing, pleading, and begging on Hermione's part, to convince Seamus and Neville to help her. Surprisingly, Luna had no problem with her plan.
Just before dinner, Hermione caught up with Ginny on the way to the Hall, "Hey, Gin, hold up, I want to ask you for a favor."
"Sure, what's up?"
After Hermione made sure that Ginny would be in the common room after dinner until about eight o'clock. She asked, "Well, I'm meeting a friend in the Room of Requirement for some...um… extra D.A. work. I should be finished by around seven and then I'm meeting Harry in the common room to do some school work." Ginny got a huge grin on her face. "Don't get excited, it's just school work," Hermione said a little tensely, then added, "anyway, in case I'm a little late, will you tell Harry where I'm at and what I'm doing so he doesn't worry, and that I'll be back shortly?"
Ginny nodded okay and then both continued on to the Great Hall for dinner.
Now, with the final piece of the plan in place, as Hermione approached the Hall the more nervous and worried she got. Did she really want to do this? 'Hell no,' she thought. Did she need to do this; that was the million galleon question and she seemed to be asking it more and more. Harry had been looking at her more and more. He was smiling and saying hi more. He hadn't given up on their relationship and it was becoming much more obvious he was trying to rebuild it. It amazed her just how much he cared for her. His patience, his actions, but mostly his eyes, they all told her he would wait and would do whatever she wanted him to do. That he would do anything for her.
By the time she sat down, she knew she couldn't eat. She could barely drink her pumpkin juice she was shaking so badly. "Come on, you know you have to do this, just get it done, and stop thinking about Harry," she told herself, and then, just as she feared, Harry stopped by.
"Hermione, you okay?" he asked.
"Oh, yeah, just a lot going on, O.W.L.'s and stuff," Hermione put up a weak smile and hid her hands so as to try and not give away her nerves.
"Yeah, I know they got me a bit worked up too."
After a moment of awkward silence, Hermione said, "Well, how about we meet in the common room at seven and try to fix some of that?"
"Yeah? Great, I… well I'll see you at seven."
~oOoOo~
Later that evening, a half-naked Hermione sat on her side of the bed and fidgeted.
"Hermione, It's almost seven-thirty, are you sure he'll show?" Seamus still wasn't happy about this plan of Hermione's, in fact, he was downright terrified of it. 'I shouldn't have let Hermione and Neville talk me into this,' he thought miserably.
"Trust me, he'll show." Hermione was sure, that between being desperate to spend time with her and worrying about her, he'd soon make an appearance.
Back in the common room, Harry checked his watch for the tenth time, 'Damn, where are you,' he thought. "Ginny, are you sure she said, she'd be here at seven?"
"Yes, I'm sure." Ginny huffed, "she's probably just running a little late. That's all."
Harry was starting to worry, what if something happened, 'It's not like her to be late,' he reasoned. Having made up his mind, Harry said, "I'm going to go and check on her," as he got up and hurried out of the room.
"Fine," Ginny answered annoyed, not even looking up.
~oOoOo~
As soon as Harry entered the Room of Requirement, he knew something was wrong, but he didn't know what. Was she hurt, did the person she was helping attack her? He just didn't know. But something was definitely very wrong, he was sure something bad had happened. He could sense it… feel it. Every nerve in his body was alert and tingled as the hair on the back of his neck stood up as he approached the unknown. Harry continued in cautiously.
The room was dimly lit with just candles. There was soft music playing, and the air was warm and had a nice smell to it. Just ahead of him hung a tapestry, hiding whatever lay behind it. There was a fire burning on the other side and it cast shadows on the thin wall of the fabric. Shadows of people. 'What the hell,' Harry thought as he moved a little closer. Then he heard her… Hermione, she was giggling softly. Harry quickly took the last few steps and pulled the tapestry open. Time slowed to a point that it almost seemed to stop, or maybe it was just the world stopping… ending… his world ending. There in front of him, not more than ten feet away lay Hermione in a large bed. She had one leg sticking out from under the covers and it was bare from the tips of her toes all the way up to the top of her thigh. She was lying on her side with her back exposed, bare from her neck all the way down to the small of her back. Although he hadn't actually seen any of her most private parts, he had seen a lot more of her than he'd ever seen before, as a matter of fact, more than he had ever seen of any girl before.
Hermione heard the tapestry being opened and turned her head to look. When she saw Harry standing there, she instinctively pulled the covers up high in front of her as she rolled on her back. She saw him glance at her leg and she slowly slid it back under the covers, trying to cover as much of herself as possible.
Harry stood frozen in place staring at her as his world came crashing down around him. He'd been afraid she was hurt, or at the very least thought, she'd maybe lost track of time. Never in his wildest dreams did he expect to find her in bed with another guy. Seamus looked terrified; like a scared cat, ready to bolt at the slightest provocation. He looked as though he'd been caught doing something horribly wrong and shameful. Hermione however… Harry was sure he would never forget the look on her face; surprise, pain, and guilt, mostly guilt.
"H-Harry!" Was all she could get out before her voice failed her. She had thought she'd been ready for his arrival, but now that he was here, standing right in front of her… Hermione realized she wasn't even remotely prepared to deal with what she'd done to him.
Hermione stared back at Harry in horror as she lay there next to Seamus, frozen, partly in fear, but mostly by the look in Harry's eyes. At first it was fear, but it quickly turned to shock and then slowly it faded into sadness and hurt. She could almost feel the pain rolling off him in waves as it washed over her. The look of betrayal was written all over his face. But, it was the look in his eyes that she'd always remember; a pain so severe it cut to the bone and seared the senses.
Harry couldn't take it anymore, he'd seen enough, more than enough and it left him numb.
In his right hand, he carried a small box that contained a beautiful gold necklace. A pendant, in the shape of half of a heart attached to a delicate gold chain. It was the very same pendant that he had bought a couple of weeks ago in Hogsmeade. A matched set, one for Hermione and one for himself. They were to be symbols of their friendship and their love. Both were delicate halves of a heart that fit together when placed next to each other. On hers was an engraving of a snitch, and on his, a book. Harry was already wearing his half. It was supposed to have been a Valentine's Day present but he hadn't been able to get it in time, so, he had planned to give it to her on the train ride home this summer. But with the way their relationship was currently going, he had changed his mind and decided tonight would be better, but now…
His grip on the box loosened and Harry didn't even notice when it fell from his hand. His shoulders slumped and his head dropped a little as the light left his eyes and went blank. Without saying a word, he slowly turned and quietly left.
Hermione stared at the spot where Harry had stood just moments ago. The look in his eyes forever burned into her memory. She was crying and didn't even know it. In the few seconds it took her to realize Harry had left, she lost it. That delicate tread holding her fragile emotions together finally snapped and Hermione lost what little control she had left.
It started out as a whisper of disbelief but quickly grew in volume as reality took hold. "He's gone… Merlin, he's gone… oh my God, what have I done?" she sobbed. 'What you had to,' a cold voice from deep inside her mind said. 'NO!' She screamed back. 'You must… and you will.' Hermione's eye's glazed over as she again lost the battle of wills. Closing her eyes she continued to sob, "He's gone, he's gone…" was finally all she could manage to say through her tears.
Seamus carefully slid off the bed and pulled his trousers on over his swim trunks and then quickly finished dressing. Neither had wanted to actually be naked under the covers, so both had worn their swimsuits. The front of Hermione's top held in place with a sticking charm to give the illusion she was nude. She had wanted Harry to assume the worst and apparently it had worked.
As part of the plan, Neville and Luna had stayed out of sight. They had watched and stood ready to help from a hidden corner of the room. With Harry now gone, they both came out into the light, neither quite sure what to do. Remembering the small box, Neville walked over and picked up the tiny gift that Harry had dropped. Opening it, he looked at the little snitch engraved in the heart and remembered the day he had gone with Harry to buy it and why. Turning it over he read the inscription, "Always and Forever." Now with tears in his own eyes, Neville walked back to Hermione. She was sitting on the bed with her knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly around her legs. She sat there rocking back and forth, eyes closed with tears running down her face like rain. The only sound she made was an occasional muffled sob of loss and pain.
Luna came over and stood next to her boyfriend and glanced down at Neville's hand and saw the necklace. After a sideways glance to Neville, she took the necklace from his hand and read the inscription herself. As she read the words on the charm a slow smile formed on her face.
Luna carefully sat on the edge of the bed facing Hermione. With the greatest of care she ever so gently spread the chain of the necklace apart. Leaning forward, she slowly started to raise the precious gift towards Hermione. With careful deliverance she placed the necklace over Hermione's head, allowing the charm to rest on her chest just above her heart. Luna's smile grew when she noticed the color of the heart change from a dull grey to a soft pink.
Hermione's eyes grew wide when she realized what Luna had done. "No! I can't… it's not right," she said, the last part coming out as barely a whisper. Hermione was looking down at the pendant and through bleary eyes could just barely read it. She started to reach for it, to remove it.
Luna grabbed her hands and gently pulled them down. She held them both firmly, yet gently as she said, "Yes, you can, Hermione."
Hermione looked up at Luna, searching her eyes for understanding. She was both surprised and amazed at the compassion she saw. But there was more, gone was the faraway dreamy look, replaced by a competent one. A look that told of knowledge and wisdom as if from a woman many years older than the young girl sitting next to her.
"Wear it, Hermione, wear it always," then in a whisper of her own, she added, "It might just save your soul."
In her current state of mind, Hermione could hardly think. But something in Luna's eyes and her voice convinced her, and Hermione somehow knew she was right. She reached up and touched the tiny heart and closed her eyes. She held it close to her own heart. She would never take it off.
~oOoOo~
Transfiguration on Monday morning two days later was her first class since that horrible night. Hermione made sure to arrive just before the start of class. She was anxious to avoid any questions, but most of all she wanted to avoid Harry. So far, she hadn't seen him since Saturday night, but then again she had hardly left her dorm. She snuck around, staying away from everyone, not knowing if Harry had told anyone or not. Now here she was in class and couldn't avoid being around others any longer. Hermione quickly found a seat in the back row near the door for a quick getaway once class was over. After settling her things she managed to calm herself enough to look up. Surprisingly, everything and everyone appeared normal. Padma waved hello, while Neville gave her a nervous nod, nobody else seemed to care she was even there. A few minutes later McGonagall walked in… that's when she noticed Harry wasn't there.
Professor McGonagall was about to start but then asked, "Does anybody know the whereabouts of Mr. Potter?" Everybody just looked around, some shrugged their shoulders, while others answered with a simple no. "Well, has anybody seen him at all?" Frustration beginning to show in her voice.
Ron finally piped up, "Haven't seen him since… Friday night, ahhh no, Saturday morning."
Professor McGonagall looked shocked, she couldn't believe that a student, especially one of her students could be missing for two whole days. "Well, surely somebody has seen him since then, Mr. Longbottom?"
Neville looked nervous and he glanced back at Hermione before answering, "Ah, no, ma'am. Not since Saturday night."
Professor McGonagall easily picked up on his nervousness and the odd behavior of both him and Hermione.
Ron didn't seem to notice or maybe just didn't care.
Ginny however, did and decided another talk with Hermione was needed.
"Very well then, we will continue without him," Professor McGonagall said. "Get out your books and turn to chapter seven and please begin reading. I'll be back in a moment to answer any questions and to start class." And with that she hurried out, she needed to let Dumbledore know Harry was missing.
Hermione of course shared most of her classes with Harry, including her last one, potions. Hermione still hadn't seen Harry and neither had anybody else as far as she knew. She was barely able to function, let alone think. Between worrying about Harry and about the news of her and Seamus getting out she was a nervous wreck. Hermione just wanted to get through potions, have dinner, and then go to bed.
"Miss Granger, if that's the best you can do, then perhaps you should take a cue from Mr. Potter and just not show up." Professor Snape was standing behind her looking down his nose at her cauldron. He glanced back at her with a look of disguised understanding before turning and walking away. Most of the Slytherins were smirking at her while the rest of the class just stared, wondering what had happened to the brightest witch in their class.
~oOoOo~
'Merlin, I really buggered up the day, I really need to pull it together,' Hermione thought as she walked back to the common room after finishing her dinner in record time. Hermione had shoveled food down her throat so fast, she was sure she had given Ron a run for his money.
Ginny, Lavender, and Parvati sat and watched as Hermione ate.
"Merlin, that girl is turning into a real nutter," Lavender started.
"Yeah, what's her problem now," Parvati asked, looking back.
"I don't know… but I'm bloody well going to find out," Ginny said as the three of them watched in silence before finally returning to their previous conversation.
Hermione was exhausted, both physically and mentally. All she wanted to do was climb up the stairs to her dorm, take a long hot bath and then crawl into bed. After entering the common room through the portrait hole she was glad the room was empty, as she was in no mood for company at the moment. As she was heading for the stairs, she felt him. It was a strange sensation, 'feeling someone'. She had only become aware of the feeling since last year, and it only happened with Harry. She could always tell when he was near or watching her. She used to welcome it, but now…
Hermione froze. She looked around the room again frantically searching, but still found the room was empty. Then seemingly out of nowhere, there on the couch in front of the fire sat Harry. He was just sitting there with his back to her, not moving or talking. Slowly she moved towards him. As she got a little closer she could see his invisibility cloak lying next to him. She wanted to yell at him, 'Harry where have you been, I've been worried sick!' but instead, she only managed to squeak out, "Harry... are you…" but she couldn't finish her sentence. She knew how he felt, just as she knew she was the reason. "Where were you, all the Professors were worried."
Harry sighed and slowly turned to look at her. His face was tired and his normally bright green eyes were dull. "And you, Hermione, were you worried." It was more of a statement than a question. They stared at each other for a moment before he answered her question, "Around."
"What?" Hermione asked, still not thinking clearly.
"Around, I've been around."
"Oh…"
More silence. Then his gaze seemed to intensify and his eyes turned sharp as he asked, "Tell me, Hermione, did you…"
She cut him off, "Don't, Harry, I don't… I can't talk about it, please."
Harry could see she was in pain. Desperate not to discuss what had happened or why. But at the moment he didn't care, he wanted answers… no, he needed answers, "Fine, just tell me one thing and I'll never bring it up again."
Hermione knew what was coming, but reluctantly nodded okay.
"Did you really sleep with Seamus?"
There it was, he had seen them with his own eyes and yet he still had to ask, to make sure it had really happened. Obviously, he had not wanted to believe it. Hermione half turned away from Harry, no longer able to look at him. Her voice was weak and a little shaky as she answered, "Yes." Then mustering all her Gryffindor courage she turned back to him, "Yes, I did. Are you happy now, Harry?"
While what he really wanted to do was scream. He wanted to yell at her for being so stupid. He wanted to know why she was being so callus and hurtful. But as quickly as the rage came on, it faded away. Harry didn't know why, but it was as if he'd taken a calming draught. Reaching up, he absent-mindedly rubbed a warm spot on his chest, just under his pendent. His fury and bitterness under control he finally answered in a quiet defeated voice, "No."
Hermione didn't know which was worse; the look on his face Saturday night, or the look on it now. His eyes went back to dull… and again almost seemed lifeless.
Harry got up and grabbed his cloak, then slowly turned and started up the stairs. As he neared the top he stopped and as if reading her mind said softly, "See you tomorrow, Hermione." And then he was gone.
"Goodnight, Harry," Hermione whispered to herself.
.
AN: As you should know by now, in my story things happen for a reason. You may not find out why for a while, but there's always a reason. So… try and hang in there.
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