Lyla eyed Merlin out of the corner of her eye the entire meal.

"First snow will be days from now, I'm telling you." Wilfred said.

"We have weeks yet." Briony insisted.

"You know what they say, Squirrels gathering nuts in a flurry will cause snow to gather in a hurry. The animals can sense these things and I saw them yesterday, they were in a flurry."

Everyone had their ways and thoughts of wintertime, Merlin supposed, but this argument had been going on for a while and Lyla and Abelard still hadn't stopped looking at him. Even Briony and Wilfred kept stealing glances now and then.

The two debators were the only ones not yet done with their soup, and judging by Lyla's turning towards him, he was going to be brought into conversation soon. Uninterested in the idea, Merlin put down his empty bowl and stood up.

"Thanks for the soup. It was good Briony." He told her with a smile before turning his back on the fire and the tent Arthur was in, and running in the other direction.

He slowed down a few tents later, and wandered around aimlessly for a while. It was largely empty, most druids staying inside as the weather got colder, or out gathering supplies before the snows set in like Wilfred's squirrels.

The air was brisk and he shivered in his thin jacket, wrapping the ends tighter around himself, but he didn't want to go back to his tent yet. He sat by a tree at the edge of camp and breathed warm air into his hands.

"What ya up to 'ere?" A voice sounded behind him, making him jump. Brennan circled around the tree and came to stand before him before crouching down.

"Nothing." Merlin muttered.

Brennan looked him over and said, "It's cold. Ya should get inside." Merlin just shook his head. Brennan laughed. "Scared o' yer friend?"

"He's not my friend." He whispered.

"Sure he's not."

"He's not." Merlin said, louder this time.

Brennan eyed him like every other druid he'd met; Like they knew something he didn't but thought he was acting cute or funny, Brennan though didn't seem ready to humour him. "Why then, when we found you's two in that clearing, was ya magic so frightened?"

"What?"

"I know me magic, kid. Yer magic that day, it was powerful for a reason."

Merlin gulped. "There is a reason?"

Brennan laughed, "Ya don' even know!"

"Know what? What is it you all know that you're not telling me!" He demanded.

"Oh, Emrys." He'd stopped laughing but still had a wide grin on his face. "Yer magic's special. And right now it's scared. Ya should probably do something about that."

Brennan didn't say anymore, he just grinned at Merlin, stood up and walked away.

XxX

Arthur had several hours before Merlin returned to the tent, tense and scowling. It shouldn't be so hard to build up confidence to talk him, but he hesitantly asked, "Are you alright?"

Merlin stared at him for a moment and then looked around the tent. "Do you still have your slingshot?"

Baffled at the non-sequiteur, Arthur reached down and patted his pocket before pulling out the slingshot that was still there.

"I'm sure one of them would give me a knife." Merlin mumbled thoughtfully.

"And why do you need a slingshot and a knife?"

"To go hunting." Merlin answered flatly.

"Right. Why?" It's not that Arthur wanted to push Merlin, certainly not in the realm of conversation, but he was getting worried.

"Because I want as little to do with the druids as possible."

Arthur just nodded, his worry spiking at what could possibly have occured while Merlin was outside.

Merlin turned towards the tent flap to leave again, but turned back to face Arthur, "Do you want to come with?"

"Come with?" He looked pointedly down at his torso.

"I can help you outside. Unless you want to stay stuck in here for the week and look at nothing but dyed fabric and fur..."

"No, no, I'll come with."

Merlin rolled his eyes, but there was a slight uptilt to his lips. Stepping forward, he grabbed Arthur's tunic and cloak and manouevred the Prince to a seating position to clothe him.

The movement was jarring and he winced, but he wasn't in near as much agony as he should have been so early in recovery, it was an uncomfortable reminder that unknown druids had been casting magic on him while he slept. For Merlin's sake, he could come to terms with magic, certainly perhaps it wasn't completely cut and dry, but he didn't know these druids and he'd just rather have been conscious.

Once Merlin had gotten his arms painfully through the holes, and tightened his cloak back around him, he positioned himself under Arthur's arm and heaved him to his feet. He wobbled for a moment before catching his balance. Leaning heavily on the younger boy, they walked out of the tent.

The air was frigid and brisk, but it was fresh and clear. He hadn't noticed how cooped up he was getting in that tent until Merlin mentioned it. But Arthur was not the kind of person who could sit around for hours doing nothing. He liked activity and the outdoors, even if he had to cope with a modicum of pain.

There was a small group of druids sitting around a fire outside their tent. One of the women looked at him with concern.

"Shouldn't he be resting?" She pointedly asked Merlin.

He ignored her and asked, "Do any of you have a spare knife?" Arthur was going to have to mention the rudeness his newfound mission was causing.

A well-built man tossed a knife up in the air before holding it out to the pair hilt-first.

Merlin grabbed the knife. "Thanks Abelard."

"Don't you boys stay out in the cold too long. Deira will want to check his wounds when they return." The woman from before called out after them as they left.

"Who's returning from where?" Arthur asked Merlin as they moved beyond the tents.

"Most of the druids are out hunting, foraging. They're stockpiling for when first snow hits. Deira's been healing you." Arthur nodded.

It was at a slow pace but they made their way into the woods. Merlin's support started pulling on his chest so he stepped away and walked on his own. Arthur wanted to say something, he wanted to figure out what was going on, but Merlin remained silent.

Eventually, Arthur piped up, "What are we even hunting?"

Merlin shrugged. "Squirrels?

"Squirrels?"

"They are in a flurry." The boy muttered. He gave Merlin a strange look and he explained, "It's what Wilfred said." Which really didn't explain anything for Arthur.

After that the two boys were silent again, and Arthur didn't know how to break that. They hadn't walked too much farther when the pain in his chest gave him a reason.

"Can we rest for a minute?"

Merlin turned to look at him and nodded. While Arthur lowered himself onto a fallen log the other boy began pacing.

As Arthur caught his breath a squirrel scurried through the clearing. Both boys eyes snapped to it. Arthur watched as Merlin took hold of the slingshot and fiddled with it for a moment before placing a pebble in it and aiming it at the animal. He didn't let go, he didn't even move, but he was shaking. The squirrel darted away and Merlin lowered his arms. When he turned around, there were tears in his eyes.

He wanted to say something, he needed to say something, but he was wary. "If I'm nice to you, will you snap at me again?" Arthur asked.

Merlin looked at him. "Maybe".

"I want to help. Something's bothering you and I want to help."

Merlin stared at him, the tears didn't fall but neither did they go away. "I know." He said softly. "I know you want to help. That's why I said I trust you, why I do trust you. You promised to protect me and to get me home. And I know that you meant that. But I think... that may be the only thing that I know right now."

It was a relief to Arthur, that Merlin trusted him because he believed he'd keep his promises. He did mean what he said, and he felt something almost like pride at this boy, that everything said he shouldn't care about but he did, telling him in the middle of woods that he believed in him at least in some way. But it didn't matter right now, so he pushed the pride aside.

Merlin wasn't speaking again so Arthur prompted him, "What do you mean?"

The boy took a deep breath. "My magic's different. I didn't want to say, I've been trying to ignore it, to not even think of it. That's why I couldn't tell you. But you kept asking, and I was scared and confused and so I took it out on you and I'm sorry.

"But my magic isn't the same anymore. It's always been there, and I've always been aware of it. When I actually realised what it was I could... call on it. I could always use it even sometimes without really thinking about it or noticing. But I knew how to control it, mostly. I could use it when I wanted to and it didn't just explode out of me at random times. It just sat there most of the time. Except recently, it's not just happy to sit still anymore. It's like its always eager for attention, always wanting something and its even more readily present than before and I can't ignore it.

"It's dangerous. The bandits when we first escaped, I didn't even mean to... I wanted my magic to do something but not necessarily... that. My magic's bigger and less controlled and it comes too readily now, even stronger than I want it to. I didn't realised with the bandits, I just meant for them to get away from us and I thought maybe my fear had made it more potent or something but now... all the storms, that first one in the city. The lightning lit fires in the town and this man was carried injured back to castle later on, right past me, and calling for people to help his son and I overheard... the boy had died in the fire and no one had wanted to tell him. I killed that boy, and those bandits... or at least some of them, and I hadn't even meant to. It just happened, and my magic was stronger than I expected and... I can't make it go away or calm down.

"But I killed that boy, they said he was just 3... I know you said, you promised that I wouldn't be a monster, that you wouldn't let me become one, but what if... what if I already am one, or if you can't stop it?"

"I promised Merlin. I always keep my promises." Arthur thought he might not have ever meant anything so sincerely in his life. The look of hope on Merlin's face in that moment, made it worth it.

But there was still fear on it too. "I'm just scared. My magic's too powerful, too much and I don't want this much. I liked it better before when there was less. I never wanted to be like this. I just... I can't trust my magic or myself. Because if I can kill people without even meaning to, then I'm dangerous. Everything that I knew, I don't know anymore.

"I always knew where home was, and who I was, and what my magic was like and how it made me feel and that I had to keep it a secret. But it's not a secret anymore; Everyone I've met this past month knows, knows even more about my magic than I do and I no longer know what my magic is or wants, I hadn't even known that it could want anything! But I don't know... you promised to take me home, and home has always meant Ealdor but what if it doesn't anymore? I don't belong there, I never did before and I certainly don't now. I don't know how my mother or Will are, or what they did when I went missing. What if they aren't there anymore? What if by the time I come back something's happened to them?" The tears that Merlin had been holding back began to fall.

"I don't know where I belong, I don't even know who I am." The boy's breathing harshened.

"I do know, the only thing I do know, is that you won't break your promise. If you can, you will protect me and take me home. I just don't where that is, or who you're protecting me from; Everyone else or myself?"

Arthur shook his head as Merlin dissolved into uncontrollable sobs. Ignoring the pain, Arthur leapt up and hugged the boy.

He didn't know what to think, except that the world or the gods or fate or whoever had decided that this innocent boy was to be given a dangerous power that scared him was cruel. The bandits... a 3 year old boy... Merlin didn't even want to kill a squirrel! Things had never seemed more unfair than when he stood there holding Merlin's shaking form.

At least, he thought, at least, Merlin was letting him comfort him again.

XxX

A/N: Thank you StormCrownSr for pointing out there were missing words, I think I've fixed all of them. I'm actually going to be looking into getting a beta reader for this fic if I can figure out how, so it might be getting better soon. If anyone's interested feel free to message me :)