I uploaded an extra chapter yesterday, make sure you read it! :3

Judy: Chp 45 - I'm glad you think the quality hasn't dropped!


Chapter 47 - Walls have broken

Okay Fenris, you gotta give me something to work with here, she thinks to herself as she looks at him. They had sat in silence for about three minutes and each one that passed was like a physical blow. He shifted in his seat and moved, leaning forward with a sigh as he rested his elbows on his knees. 'You have said to me that I have PTSD before,' he says eventually. 'I heard you speaking to Isabela about the same thing. Why did you not say any more to me?'

Makatza twisted her hands together, 'like I said, it wasn't being spoken about on purpose. Also, you didn't ask me about it and I didn't want you to think that I was like, analysing you or accusing you of something. Not that it's something you can control,' she mumbles.

'What is it?' He asks. Makatza sighs and gives him the same rundown that she had given Isabela and the situations that had lead her to think that he might be suffering from it. 'I see,' he says quietly. 'You said to Isabela that I am not broken, do you really believe that?'

'Of course!' Makatza said nodding her head. 'It's a mental health problem, it's something that affects what you do, not who you are,' she felt a little uneasy. 'I know you've spoken of this poison that you have inside you, it taints everything, that's the PTSD, you've literally just personified it as poison that's all,' she says softly.

Fenris leans back and holds his head up with his hand his fingers and thumb spread between his temples as he took this in. 'Can I be rid of it?' He asks.

Makatza feels like she's going to cry as she shakes her head. 'I highly doubt it,' she says honestly. 'You'll probably have it for life but you can learn to control it, live with it better,' she said as she saw the slump in his shoulders. 'If it was just because of one traumatic event I would say that yes, it would fade but you lived in trauma, for many many years and I'm sorry I just don't think that it's ever going to go away. Not unless there was something in the future that completely changed your life in a good way.'

'Like killing Danarius?' He chuckles darkly.

'Not my first suggestion of treatment,' she says managing a smile. He sighs and looks up at her and nods.

'What would you suggest? I do not wish to live like this forever,' he says quietly. Makatza had made him realise what he'd been doing for years and it didn't sit well with him. 'What sort of thing in the future?' He added as he thought about it.

'Um, I would say things that you never thought you might have? Happy things that you personally thought that would never come to be?' Makatza says as she starts to stroke a pup that had wandered in looking for attention from his mother. 'Also I would say that the best thing for you would be to simply talk to someone about what happened. Talk about how it makes you feel and why it affects you now in what you do or say and then accept it and be aware of it,' she said as she avoided being licked.

Fenris stood up and paced a little, 'whom would I talk to? I do not want pity-'

'Me. Talk to me,' Makatza says as she stands up. 'I don't pity you, I've said it before. Compared to pretty much everyone in this world I have literally had an idealistic life. I have no real idea how sucky this place can be. It gives me an edge though, you can talk to me without thinking that I've had it worse or something, guilt free,' she grins.

'You would not wish to hear the things I have done,' he says quietly as he moves away from her. 'They are not pleasant,' Fenris mutters looking into the fire he kept lit out of habit.

Makatza frowns and walks over to him touching his hand gently and already expecting him to pull away and mentally processing the rejection. He did as she thought though not as abruptly as she thought he would, instead of yanking his hand away he paused and slowly moved as if he was afraid of hurting her. 'Fenris, could you look at me please?' She asks. He is reluctant but does as she asks as he turns to face her, 'you are not to blame for anything, anything at all when you were in that life. It was not and will not ever be your fault.'

His eyes contain the disbelief that he was clearly feeling at the surface, he sighs and nods wishing that he had never asked. 'Very well, I will try to talk to you about it... at some time,' he says carefully wondering if she would ever hold him to it. He was almost positive that she wouldn't let it go now that he had agreed to her way of things. She beamed at him and it was contagious, he rolls his eyes as he already starts to smile back at her. 'What are the sort of things that you want from the future?' He asks.

Makatza pauses as she walks towards the door to go check the dough. 'Oh, um, well, never really thought about it before,' she says as he follows her back towards the kitchen. She opens the oven and grabs a cloth to take out the slightly too warm dough. 'I think I would want a family,' she says as she tips out the bread onto the table and starts to knead it lightly and hoping that it wouldn't stick too badly. 'Husband, home, that sort of thing, nothing too drastic I feel,' she smiles as she picks up the dough and places it into a tin that they had brought with them.

'That is all?' He sits at the table and watches her work.

'Yeah pretty much. I mean it's everything I never had. Mari was my mother and I didn't have a father until I came here and met Silvanus, I never had any siblings though I was surrounded by others who were also without parents or something along the same ilk. I think I would just want a loving guy, a couple of children and a safe place for them to grow up in,' she shrugs a shoulder. 'That's not too much to ask is it?'

'No,' he says shaking his head. 'You will find a man that will be able to give you those things easily,' he adds.

'Maybe. Though sometimes the easiest way isn't the right way,' she teases as she pokes him on the nose with a clump of dough that had stuck to her fingers. While he was trying to remove the stubborn thing she placed the tin into the oven and added another log to the furnace underneath. 'Enough of the depressing stuff. Let's talk about something different,' she said as she washed her hands again. They made their way back up the stairs and she spotted a bottle of wine that was on the side unopened. 'Is this that wine that you spoke about a quite a while ago?'

Fenris nods, 'open it, taste it and mock the Tevinter Imperium as you do. As mage like yourself,' he says as he grabs a couple of reasonably clean glasses from the cabinet. She giggles and does as he said sipping the sweet red from the bottle. Then she pours them both a glass putting it on the floor.

'It is actually quite nice, they have good taste in wine if nothing else,' she smiles as she sits on his bed again. She crosses her legs and puts down her glass between them. 'Do you want to help me name the pups? I have a couple ideas but nothing has really stuck.' Fenris nods and moves out his seat as he gets nipped on the toes by a pup in question, Makatza growls at her for biting him but can't help but smile, 'here, sit next to me,' she says shifting over a bit. She calls for the other pup with a bark and after a minute or two he wanders in and sits on the chair next to his sibling.

'What did you have in mind?' Fenris asks as he sips from his glass.

'Hmm. I have Elgon for the boy, I just like the way it sounds but I can't think of anything for her,' Makatza exhales heavily as she tilts her head to look at them. 'Not that they need actual names, I can tell the difference it's just for everyone else.'

Fenris regarded the wolf pup in question, she was inquisitive and reminded him of Makatza, 'what about Ciere?' Fenris suggests.

'That's really pretty!' Makatza praises as she nods. 'I like it, that's that sorted. Thank fuck. Now I can get them some collars,' she muses as she thinks about what styles she would get. They watched the pups play while they drank and without them noticing half a bottle had gone. She picked up her glass and sipped it lightly realising that Fenris was staring at her again. 'What? More dough?' She laughs as she goes to wipe her face.

He shook his head a little. 'No, I was simply thinking about how beautiful you are,' he had thrown caution to the wind, he just wanted to feel that moment of peace and being totally content like when they were back at the Dalish camp and holding each other. He wanted that and more. Each kiss he stole chipped the away the tension that he held deep inside his chest. Makatza didn't judge him, pity him or expect anything at all from him and he wanted everything and more from her. The decision to stay away and protect her from his past was rapidly falling apart as he selfishly wanted nothing more than to just be in the present and give in to his desires.

She blushed heavily and looked away from his intense gaze. 'Fool,' she laughs lightly. 'That's the wine speaking on an empty stomach that's what that is,' she teases. He shook his head a little more firmly and put down his glass, he had made his choice. Makatza raised a brow but didn't have time to do anything more before he had moved towards her and pulled her into a deep kiss. She jumped and slowly her wine glass fell out the hand she was holding it with as she returned his kiss, winding her hand into his hair as they fell back onto the bed. Neither of them reacted the splinter of the glass breaking on the wooden floor boards as they indulged in one another, this had been what Makatza was expecting when they first kissed. A brief speculation went through her head and she thought it could literally be because of the alcohol that he had been drinking but then then sensible part of her mind kicked in; she realised that Fenris drank often and a shared half of a bottle of wine wasn't going to make him lose sense. His weight was upon her as she played with his hair between her fingers, her other hand on his hip.

'Katza,' he says a breathlessly through a pause as she dug her nails into his skin without realising, her wolf breaking through. She loosened her grip making him chuckle and simply kiss her harder, biting down on her bottom lip. Makatza couldn't help but react with a slight noise arching her back upwards and pushing herself into him with the movement.

She felt as if her skin was on fire with every caress of his fingers, all she could hear was his breathing and the sound of her heart pounding in heavy thumps. It wasn't until she caught the scent of something that wasn't quite right that she pulled away from him. 'Fenris,' she said in a little bit of a moan as he took that moment to kiss the side of her throat. 'Fenris... I smell burning,' she comments making him pause. He raises his head as he looks up at her and it dawns. 'The bread!' She laughs as she pushes him aside with more strength than he knew she had. They both ran down the stairs and she legged it into the kitchen pulling open the oven door, Fenris beat her to the cloth and dragged out the tin dropping it onto the side with a curse as the heat went straight through to his hand.

They both looked at the slightly smouldered loaf and started to laugh. 'Do you think it is edible?' He asks through a chuckle as he pokes it with a cloth covered finger.

'Uh... might be just the top that's been burnt,' she says amused as she turns to a drawer and grabs a knife to pry it out. He holds it still while she runs it around the edge and then he gives it a good shake. 'Yum,' she laughs as it hits the table with a good thunk. 'I don't think I would even want to eat it,' Makatza giggles. 'You could probably draw with it,' she comments trying to keep the pup's noses away from it as they stood on their hind legs to investigate what was going on. 'Looks like it's apples for lunch,' she smiles.

Fenris nods and drops the cloth on the side before pushing Makatza against the kitchen table, the seal on his restraint has been broken and now he couldn't stop himself from impulsively acting. 'I wish to finish what I started earlier,' he says softly, his deep voice made her legs feel weak. He cupped her cheek with one hand and dropped a chaste kiss on her lips teasingly as she tilted her head towards his. 'If that is something you would wish,' he murmurs his mouth barely a centimetre away from hers.

She placed a hand on his free arm and let her mana flow a little heavier to usual, she knew that he had picked up on her pulse before because of it. His markings began to flicker in response and she smiled at him, 'what do you think?' She asks simply before he lifted her onto the table. 'Ow! Bread! Hot!' She squeaked as she turned to push it away with the tea towel, he smiles at her apologetically as she wraps her legs around his hips and grabs him by the vest and lifting herself up a bit so she could surprise him for a change. The feeling of want was instantaneous as she felt him against her, she had become insatiable and there was nothing that mattered more in this moment than what they were doing.

More time than they realised must have passed as too soon they heard Elgon and Ciere barking at the door, Makatza broke the kiss and looked outside, it was late afternoon. Fenris swore, 'venhedis,' he mutters. 'Always with the interruptions,' he scowls as Makatza jumps down from the table and adjusts her clothing, there had been a little heavy petting. It was probably a good time to get interrupted as she had no doubt her inner wolf would have more than happily gone further. While she was happy to kiss and slightly more she wasn't quite ready for that, yet.

'Come on,' Makatza laughs as she kisses his cheek. 'If we keep what happened today between ourselves it means we can sneak around them,' she teases making him perk up ever so slightly. She went to the front door and opened it. 'Isabela!' She laughs happily. 'What are you doing here?'

'You are coming down the pub! Bring broody too, I promised that I would spend time with you and that's what I plan on doing,' she says giving Makatza a hug. 'I want to attempt one of your world's games again!' She announced.

'Lucky me!' Makatza says with a roll of her eyes. 'Up for a drink?' She directs to Fenris who winks at her behind the Pirate's back. Gonna take that as a yes. Lucky me, she thought with a giggle.


Hey, Hey, Hey, you like what I do? Drop a review!

Another chapter will be posted in a few hours!