Hey fans! Here is the next part of the first half of the Abolishment go-home edition of XCW Monday Night Massacre! I only own my championships.
As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Frylock and Master Shake sat at their announcer's table, still coming down from what just transpired.
"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, and Shake, I gotta tell you. . .I am absolutely shocked and appalled over the revelation of which Tommy Vercetti made us all aware!"
"Frylock, you're making a mountain out of a goddamn molehill!" Shake said. "The anonymous chairman bailed Tommy Vercetti out of prison because it's in the company's best interests! We can't have a World Heavyweight Champion rotting behind bars with our top title! That's just bad press waiting to happen!"
"THAT'S BAD PRESS WAITING TO HAPPEN!?" Frylock shouted, incredulous. "Shake, Tommy Vercetti is a FUGITIVE. A CRIMINAL. He should be behind bars for the safety and well-being of everyone in this company! But the anonymous chairman helped the World Heavyweight Champion's legal team set him free with no charges just because he's had a CHANGE OF HEART? The fact that it comes after weeks of harassing Tai Kamiya and revealing feelings about the wrestling world at large! Whoever the anonymous chairman is, he or she had better come forward and explain himself sooner rather than later!"
"Come on, Frylock! A woman can't be a wrestling executive! They don't know how to be ruthless!" Shake quipped, to a grimace from his broadcast partner.
"How the hell are you still employed here?" Frylock said with disgust as the show transitioned back to the ring, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following one-on-one contest is scheduled for one fall!"
"Heavy In Your Arms" by Florence & The Machine plays as Sora stepped onto the stage, raising the Women's Championship belt above her head toward the crowd, who was greeting her with a standing ovation.
"Introducing first. . .from Odaiba, Japan, she is the current Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Women's Champion. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"
"Last week, we saw Sora Takenouchi team with her fellow DigiDestined and LCW talent Jun Motomiya in a tag team match against the debuting team of Shenhua and Sawyer the Cleaner." Frylock informed. "But she did so under stressful circumstances thanks to the threats to hers and Tai's family at the hands of Tommy Vercetti. . .from the look on her face, it's easy to guess that the unease surrounding the Kamiya family has reached the mind of our Women's Champion. However, we are happy to inform you that Sora's mother, whose flower shop was destroyed in that act of arson last week, is staying with relatives and looking to rebuild her store in a new location!"
Indeed, instead of high-fiving the fans on each side of the barricade, Sora's focus was on nothing but the ring in front of her as she strode down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then climbed onto a turnbuckle and raised the Women's title belt high above her head, toward the fans.
"Rave of the century." Shake deadpanned. "In my opinion, she's better off living her remaining years in a NURSING HOME than running some stupid flower shop. I've told ya the only people that go to those wastes of space are wimps and geezers, and even they're not at the mercy of Jeff Bezos and his mega millions, they're waiting for the goddamn Grim Reaper to take 'em to hell! But that's not the point of this; my POINT is that Sora ain't preoccupied with nothin' except one thing: and that's Casey Lynch. Just look at her, Frylock! That's the face of a woman who knows her reign at the top is comin' to an end, and a gig on a street corner is in the near FUTURE!"
". . .Shake. . .I hate you so much." Frylock deadpanned, as Sora looked down the ramp with stern anticipation. . .
. . .
. . .as the lights turned dark purple, "Heart Shaped Box" by Nirvana played, and Frederica Sawyer stepped onto the stage with her dark look, small creepy smile, and Alexander De Large by her side.
"And her opponent. . .being accompanied to the ring by Alexander De Large. . .she is 'The Cleaner'. . .FREDERICAAAAAAAAAA SAAAAAAAAAAWYEEEEEEEEEEEER!"
Sawyer and Alex then made their way down the ramp in a slow deliberate manner. Upon reaching the foot of the ramp, Sawyer gave Alex her chainsaw and walked up the steps before entering the ring, while Alex stood in front of the ring apron on the outside.
"And this new client of Alexander De Large's took full advantage of Sora's mental state last week when she made her Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling debut in a tag team match in which she partnered with her fellow assassin Shenhua." Frylock informed. "The two dangerous Thailanders were methodical and brutal in how they targeted Sora and Jun, and came away with a huge win, albeit with the help of 'The Goddess of Rock' Casey Lynch. But despite that, it's easy to say that Sawyer has the upper hand in this one-on-one matchup, both in terms of tenacity and determination!"
Sawyer went over to a corner and sat on the top turnbuckle, looking out to the crowd with a creepy smile, as she waited for the bell to ring.
"Yeah, and in terms of discomposure, too, Frylock. . .this girl gives me the CREEPS!" Shake said. "It's broads like this that'll go far in the Women's Tag Team Championship tournament next month, because their opponents have their panties in a bunch out o'fear over 'em! Oh, and we're also forgetting the BIG elephant in the room here: and I ain't talkin' about Alexander De Large. . .I'm talking about that CHAINSAW she gave him! Who the hell in their right mind gave her permission to take that thing out to the ring?! Is she lookin' to KILL Sora tonight? What the hell is up with that?"
"Shake, I think that's her way of eliciting fear from her opponent." Frylock replied. "But after hearing that, I have to ask: how is it NOT okay for Sawyer to bring a goddamn CHAINSAW to the ring, yet you're TOTALLY fine with the chairman of THIS company bailing out an arsonist?"
"Arson, shmarson." Shake replied. "Nobody died. Now let's just call the damn match."
Sawyer slipped off the corner and stared down Sora, who glared back at her with determined focus. . .
. . .
. . .that was shaken once again. . .
. . .
. . .when "Cliffs of Dover" by Eric Johnson played?
"Shake, who did you vote for in the last-what the hell?" Frylock interjected, as Sora and Sawyer turned to look up the ramp. . .
. . .
. . .and saw Casey Lynch skipping onto the stage and down the ramp with a sly but confident grin on her face.
"What a sight for sore eyes!" Shake exclaimed. "It's the Goddess of Rock, Casey Lynch! And she has every reason to be all smiles tonight! Because she's going into her Women's Championship match at Abolishment with all the momentum in the world after beating Rikku last week, and Sora's still preoccupied with her family drama! Her star shines brighter than anybody else's right now, and everybody knows it, ESPECIALLY Sora!"
Sora looked on at her opponent with an angry stare, but Casey paid her no mind as she turned the corner and stepped toward the announcer's table, where Shake handed her a headset.
"It looks as if Casey Lynch is joining us to provide commentary for this match. . .whether you like her or not, the Goddess of Rock has the right to do just that." Frylock said, as Casey put on her headset and sat down next to Shake. "It's a pleasure for you to join us out here tonight, Ms. Lynch!"
"Glad to be out here, gentlemen!" Casey replied, with a grin. "Just wanting to do some last minute research and give some insights while doing it!"
"You came to the right place for that! Because you're sitting with the smartest mind in all of wrasslin'!" Shake declared. "I got the balls to make the right calls!"
"I'll be the judge of that. . ." Frylock quipped, as Sora turned her attention back toward Sawyer just as the bell rang and the match began. . .
. . .
. . .AND SORA IS IMMEDIATELY DRIVEN INTO THE CORNER WITH A HIGH KNEE STRIKE FROM SAWYER!
"OH MY GOD!" Frylock exclaimed, as Sawyer smothered Sora with a flurry of right and left hands!
"Jeez, Sawyer, save some for ME, why don't cha?" Casey snarked, as Sawyer pulled Sora out of the corner and dropped her onto the mat with a sidewalk slam! Sawyer went for the quick cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! But Sawyer's death glare remained narrowed and focused as she rose up from the cover with a fistful of Sora's hair, then pulled her up with her before tossing her into the corner back-first. Sawyer then nailed Sora in the corner with a running clothesline, then threw her into the center of the ring with a gorilla press toss that caused the XCW Women's Champion to land on the mat with her lower back first! Sawyer quickly went for another cover! 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!
Sawyer pulled Sora up to her feet and took her back down with a headbutt right between the eyes, then drug her into the corner with her foot against her neck before stomping a vicious mudhole into her chest! The Cleaner then drug Sora out of the corner by her feet and ran against the ropes before successfully landing a leg drop across Sora's chest! Sawyer went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Aghast with confusion, Sawyer pulled Sora up to a standing position and kneed her in the gut before swinging her onto the mat with a side headlock takedown, then started rolling her arm across her throat back and forth repeatedly in a choking maneuver! Sawyer then pulled Sora back up only to take her back down with a DDT! Sawyer went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out!
"The XCW Women's Champion is getting DOMINATED in the early goings by this behemoth, Frederica Sawyer!" Frylock called. "How will she recover?"
"Who cares about how she recovers?" Shake snapped. "Let's savor this beatdown as it comes!"
"Yeah, Shake said it!" agreed Casey. "Sawyer's making Sunday look like a cakewalk!"
Sawyer then pulled Sora up to a standing position and Irish whipped her into the corner. Sawyer then charged toward her, only for the Crestbearer of Love to leap upward and land behind her, causing The Cleaner to hit the top turnbuckle face-first. Sora then put Sawyer in a full nelson hold and dropped her into the center of the ring with a dragon suplex! Sora then turned around and saw Sawyer pulling herself up to a standing position and was quick to tie her up and take her down with a fireman's carry takedown, then lock in a quick armbar submission maneuver, but Sawyer drug herself toward the bottom rope fast enough to grab it and break the hold. Sora and Sawyer then charged toward each other once again, with the two women meeting in another tie-up that resulted in Sora putting Sawyer in a wrist-lock, then Irish whipping her across the ring and taking her down with an Inverted Atomic Drop on the bounceback! Sawyer winced in pain until Sora dropped her with an Armbreaker in the center of the ring on the bounceback! Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sawyer kicked out!
Sora pulled Sawyer up to her knees and went to lock in a Mexican Surfboard, but Sawyer nailed Sora with a back elbow that sent her face-first onto the mat! Sawyer then pulled herself up to her feet and stepped toward Sora, who took her down with a drop toe hold, then went for a bridging pin attempt! The referee made the count 1. . .2. . .Sawyer kicked out! Sora pulled herself up to a standing position, only for Sawyer to send her falling back down with a strike to the back of her legs! Sawyer then pushed Sora into the corner with the intent to choke her against the bottom turnbuckle, but Sora caught her leg before she could move an inch, then swung it around to make Sawyer spin around so her back was facing the XCW Women's Champion. Sora then willed herself back up to a standing position and climbed onto the middle rope before dropping Sawyer on her face with a jumping bulldog! Sora went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sawyer kicked out!
"Sora Takenouchi has fought her way back into this matchup against the formidable Frederica Sawyer, but it's easy to tell she's preoccupied mentally!" Frylock said.
"Now ain't the time to think about what street your mom's crossing right now, Champ!" Shake snapped.
"YEAH! Kick Sawyer's ass if you can reach it!" Casey shouted, as Sora tried to lock in a sleeper hold onto Sawyer in the center of the ring, but The Cleaner was quick to rise to a standing position and drop Sora on her face with a sitout facebuster! Sawyer went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Sora kicked out! Sawyer then pulled Sora up by the hair, only for the Crestbearer of Love to fight back with an elbow smash to her face, then Irish whip her against the ropes. Sawyer landed on the ring apron with her two feet, holding onto the top rope before she could go any further. Sora then charged toward Sawyer for a clothesline, but Sawyer stopped her in her tracks with a shoulder thrust to her chest! Sawyer then draped Sora's arm across her back. . .
. . .
. . .and lifted her up. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE DROPPING HERSELF AND SORA WITH A SUPLEX FROM THE RING APRON ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR!
"OH DEAR GOD!" Frylock exclaimed. "The Cleaner may have just cleaned the clock inside Sora's head with that suplex from the inside of the ring to the outside! Now both women are down!"
"Sawyer's giving Sora one hell of a challenge!" Shake declared, as Sora winced in pain from the impact, clenching her lower back. "The champion doesn't know which way is up!"
"There's more where THAT came from, Shake. . ." Casey foreboded, while Sawyer pulled herself up to a standing position as the show transitioned to the end of the match, where Sawyer had Sora in the Paradise Lock, and was sitting on her in the center of the ring!
"Will Sora get payback against Frederica Sawyer, or will The Cleaner mop up the XCW Women's Champion just days away from Abolishment?" Frylock called. "We'll know the answer when we're back from this commercial break!"
The match suddenly minimized to the top left corner of the TV screen to make room for a series of commercials, the first of which being very low-res videos of old GCW house shows with very cheap graphics of the bolded phrases appearing over them upon getting mentioned.
"THIS FRIDAY! FRIDAY! FRIDAY!" screamed a monster truck voice over. "AT THE ROAD HOUSE IN TWIN PEAKS, WASHINGTON, PREPARE TO GET ANNIHILATED AS HORNE'S DEPARTMENT STORE AND CALHOUN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL ARE PROUD TO PRESENT GAME CHANGER WRESTLING: CARTOON CARNAGE'S FIRST-EVER LIVE EVENT. . .
THIS IS THE WATER!
FEATURING JAMES EARL CASH, THE TOXIC AVENGER, SHOTARO KANEDA AND MARV IN A ONE-NIGHT, ALL-DEATHMATCH TOURNAMENT TO CROWN THE FIRST-EVER GCW CARTOON CARNAGE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! AND DON'T MISS THE OPPORTUNITY OF A LIFETIME TO MEET AND GREET WITH JASON VOORHEES AND FREDDY KRUEGER! TICKETS ARE JUST FIFTEEN BUCKS! THE FIRST ONE HUNDRED PEOPLE AT THE GATE GET A FREE CAN OF MANGO WHITE CLAW! TICKETS ARE AVAILABLE AT AND HORNE'S DEPARTMENT STORE! DOORS OPEN THIS FRIDAY NIGHT AT ELEVEN PM EASTERN, 9 PACIFIC, WITH THE SHOW STARTING AT MIDNIGHT EASTERN, TEN PACIFIC, AND STREAMING LIVE ON FITE TV!
BE THERE! BE THERE! BE THEEEEEEEEERE!"
The second commercial faded up on a montage of wide, landscape shots of the Liberty City skyline, which eventually whip panned to shots of dirty alleys, gunfights on the sidewalks and wild police chases in the streets.
"Liberty City. . .it ain't pretty to look at, hell, far as I know, it's the worst city on Earth. . ." said an African American man in a voiceover. "But how it is in this business, if you wanna make yourself known, you gotta start SOMEWHERE. . .and Liberty City is the kind o'town to build ya up. . .to the EXTREME. . .but ya can't go extreme. . .without starting a CONQUEST."
Throughout the montage, various matches were projected onto the sides of buildings throughout Liberty City, including Crystal locking Andie Walsh in a sharpshooter, Dorian Grey posing on the top of a turnbuckle, Franklin and Huckle Cat dropping Hank and Dean Venture with stereo powerbombs, and even Beetlejuice dropping Chris Griffin with a Skull-Crushing Finale. . .before eventually making its way to a wide shot of a small, rundown arena.
"It's a dangerous world out here. . .but we took this bingo hall. . .and made it into somethin' ELSE. . ." said the African-American man. "There's all KINDS o'talents gunnin' for somethin' every day that lays down for NO woman. . .or NO man. It's HERE that we perfect our craft. . .it's HERE we become who we are. . .and it's HERE that the Conquest begins."
The commercial then cut to the interior of the LCW Arena, where more matches were projected onto the walls, such as Jiro hitting a Kikaider Superkick to the side of Eek! The Cat's head, Kudelia knocking down Topanga Lawrence with a spinning heel kick, Maui driving Nathan Explosion through a table with a top-rope sit-out powerbomb, and Shotaro Kaneda driving Ultimate Captain America head-first onto the mat with a Hammerlock DDT.
"We're trained to be the toughest fighters in the game. . .but in order to be tougher than me. . ." continued the voiceover, until the camera made its way to an empty arena, with a solitary figure standing in a wrestling ring wearing a hoodie and holding a championship belt.
". . .you gotta BEAT ME. . ."
The commercial cut to black before cutting back to a closeup of the man in the ring, who slid the hood off his head to reveal himself as Darrell "D-Mob" Lewis, as he raised the LCW Championship up to his chin.
". . .BUT NOBODY. . .EVER. . .BEATS. ME."
The commerical then cut to a yellow and black LCW logo, with the following graphic under it. . .
LCW CONQUEST: TWIN PEAKS
THIS SATURDAY LIVE ON PAY-PER-VIEW
"LCW Conquest: Twin Peaks - only on pay-per-view 24 hours before XCW Abolishment. Coming THIS SATURDAY." said an announcer until the commercial effectively faded to black.
The third commercial saw The Mask standing on a cruise ship holding out a few Old Spice products in his open palm.
"Hello, ladies." The Mask said, seductively. "Your attention is probably on the match going on above my right shoulder, but turn it towards me. Now, look at this product. Now back to me."
The Mask then started walking toward the right edge of the frame as the camera zoomed into a closeup of his face.
"You're probably thinking this is another Old Spice ad, right?" The Mask asked, before adding, "Look again."
Indeed, the camera zoomed out to reveal that The Mask was now riding a horse backwards, and no longer holding Old Spice products in his open palm, but the logo for something called, 'XCWorld'.
"Turns out, this is an XCWorld ad to tell you you should download the XCWorld app to get no picture-in-picture ads like these just a day after Monday Night Massacre airs live if you're not into ads! I know I want that!"
The Mask smiled into the camera as the traditional Old Spice whistling played on screen, only for the ad to cut to a graphic that reads, "Download ad-free XCWorld for FREE (with a subscription to HBO Max for $14.99/month)!"
"XCWorld: Taking Cable-Free Cable To The Extreme!" said a voiceover, before the match took up the entire screen just in time to show the ending of the match, which saw Sora locked into the Paradise Lock, and Sawyer sitting on her in the center of the ring for added pressure!
"We're back live here on Monday Night Massacre, ladies and gentlemen, and after trading blows right in front of us for the longest time, Sawyer gained the upper hand again when our guest at commentary, 'The Goddess of Rock' Casey Lynch, had choice words to say to Sora Takenouchi right to her face, further distracting our Women's Champion!" Frylock informed.
"You can't blame me for being me, Frylock!" Casey attested. "There won't be any time for words this Sunday, only wrestling!"
"You got that right, Casey!" agreed Shake. "So tell me, when ya gonna thank the man responsible for givin' you the mental advantage going into Sunday?"
". . .whaaaaat are you talking about. . .?" Casey wondered, raising an eyebrow, while upon accepting that Sora wasn't going to tap out, Sawyer pulled a still-tied-up Sora off the mat. . .
. . .
. . .and dropped her in the center of the ring with a powerbomb! Sawyer went for the cover, 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SORA KICKED OUT! Sawyer couldn't believe it!
"C'mon, Casey, we all know that if your ex didn't burn down Takenouchi Flowers last week, Sora would have tapped Sawyer out by now!" Shake said. "Give credit where credit is due to Tommy Vercetti!"
". . .I. . .I'd rather not talk about that right now. . ." Casey replied, as Sawyer stood up and narrowed her eyes in annoyance at Sora before striding toward the top rope!
"Meanwhile, Frederica Sawyer has her sights set on a high-risk maneuver!" Frylock called. "If The Cleaner lands this, it could be lights out for Sora Takenouchi!"
"It BETTER be lights out for her. I've got a title to win this weekend. . ." Casey said, trying to regain her focus on the match.
"And after you win it, you've got somebody to thank for the victory, Casey!" Shake insisted. "So tell me, why the hell aren't you and Tommy a thing anymore?"
"I. . .REALLY don't think that's relevant to the match we're watching. . ." Casey said in a stern tone, as Sawyer waited for Sora to groggily rise up to her feet. . .
. . .
. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND-WENT FOR A DIVING DISCUS CLOTHESLINE. . .
. . .
. . .BUT SORA CAUGHT SAWYER'S ARM AS SHE CAME DOWN AND LOCKED HER INTO THE CROSSFACE!
"WAIT A MINUTE! SORA WITH A MID-AIR COUNTER!" Frylock screamed. "SORA'S GOT THE CROSSFACE LOCKED IN!"
Sora wrenched harder onto the hold, causing Sawyer to scream in agonizing pain! The referee knelt down and asked Sawyer if she wanted to quit. The Cleaner shook her head no as she writhed toward the ropes!
"The Crestbearer of Love is in the driver's seat of what has been a very grueling, physical matchup!" Frylock called. "Will Sawyer tap out?"
"If she does, then she's a bigger wuss than her brother Tom!" Shake declared. "GET THE HELL UP, SAWYER!"
Casey blinked twice. "Shake. . .have you EVER read a book?"
"I have, it was called "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Jupiter." Shake responded. "Am I getting anywhere with my top-notch speculating?"
"Shut up, Shake. . ." Casey muttered, as Sawyer inched closer to the ropes, with Sora only intensifying the hold more and more! Sawyer extended her hand out. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .kept her arm raised high in the air. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .and planted her hands into the mat. . .
. . .
. . .before pushing herself up to her feet, with Sora still hanging onto her neck. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL SAWYER TOOK SORA BACK DOWN WITH A BACKPACK STUNNER!
"THAT'S THE TICKET!" Casey exclaimed. "And a RIGHTEOUS one at that!"
Sawyer draped her body across Sora's for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SORA KICKED OUT! Sawyer rolled off from the cover as Sora began to drag herself toward the nearby ropes!
"Sora Takenouchi has fought back valiantly in this one-on-one matchup against a dominating talent in her debut singles match!" Frylock called. "Will Sora gain the victory just six days away from her XCW Women's Championship defense, or will Sawyer The Cleaner get the biggest win of her young career?"
"Even if Sawyer doesn't get the big win here, she can get it vicariously through ME." Casey declared. "What's hers is mine. . .unless it's the XCW Women's Championship."
"Yeah, and Tommy Vercetti gift-wrapped it for ya!" Shake insisted. "The least you can do is repay him with a blowjob or something!"
"YOU WANNA KNOW WHY WE'RE NOT TOGETHER?" Casey snapped. "How about you look at his promo again? THAT'S your answer."
"Well, that doesn't make any goddamn sense!" Shake observed. "You two pratically have the same attitude!"
"Maybe so, but we had. . .different ideals." Casey stammered, before turning her attention back onto the match, which saw Sora and Sawyer back up to a standing position and trading blows in the center of the ring, with the crowd chanting, "BOO!" in unison with Sawyer's punches, and "YAY!" in unison with Sora's right hands! The two continued to trade right hands until Sawyer shook things up and nailed Sora in the chest with a throat thrust, then slapped her across the face repeatedly until the Crestbearer of Love was hanging onto the top rope to keep her balance. But Sawyer hooked her arms from behind and dropped her in the center of the ring with a dragon suplex! Sawyer went for the cover 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SORA KICKED OUT! Gritting her teeth in anger, Sawyer pulled Sora up by the hair and took her down with a snapmare before choking her out in the center of the ring! Sora slowly but surely brought herself up to a vertical base and nailed her in the face with back elbow after back elbow before turning around and lifting her up for a Northern Lights suplex. . .but Sawyer nailed Sora right between the eyes with a Bionic Elbow once she was risen up! With the XCW Women's Champion dazed, The Cleaner then lifted Sora up by the legs and dropped her onto the top rope with a Flapjack before charging toward her and taking her down with the Cleaner Up (Running Swinging Reverse STO)! Sawyer went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 SORA KICKED OUT! Sawyer couldn't believe it!
"OH MY GOD, HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Frylock exclaimed, as Sawyer sat up from the cover, pondering her next move.
Sawyer then pulled herself up to her feet and gripped Sora up by the hair and went for a kick to her midsection, only for Sora to catch it and spin her around until her back was facing her, then put her in a waist-lock and dropped her with a German suplex! But The Crestbearer of Love kept her grip on Sawyer's waist as she pulled her back up to her feet. . .and took her down with ANOTHER German suplex! Sora then pulled The Cleaner up one more time. . .and completed the trifecta with a third German suplex, this one being a pin attempt! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SAWYER KICKED OUT! But Sora had to remain on the attack, so she rolled off Sawyer for the cover and ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring, bouncing off them to give Sawyer a soccer kick. . .but Sawyer dodged the first kick and threw Sora over the ropes and onto the ring apron! Sawyer went for a right hand. . .but Sora connected first with a right hand of her own that sent Sawyer reeling into the center of the ring! The Crestbearer of Love then leapt onto the top rope in front of her, then nailed The Cleaner with a springboard forearm smash! Sora then ran against the ropes on the other side of the ring and knocked Sawyer down with a series of soccer kicks! Sora went for the cover 1. . .2. . .Sawyer kicked out! Sora ran against the ropes behind her while Sawyer was quick to rise to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR SORA TO TAKE HER DOWN WITH THE HEARTSTOPPER!
"SORA MAY HAVE BROKEN SAWYER'S FACE WITH THAT DOUBLE KNEE FACEBREAKER!" Frylock called, as Sora went for the cover! "Will it break the Cleaner's will to destroy?"
The referee made the count 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 SAWYER KICKED OUT! Sora punched the mat in frustration!
"What in the hell does the Ace of Women's Wrestling have to do to put Frederica Sawyer away?" Frylock wondered.
"Oh God, don't even BEGIN to call her that. . ." Casey groaned.
Sora then stood up with a determined look on her face, and strode toward the corner! The fans rose to their feet with anticipation as Sora climbed all the way to the top rope!
"Sora's decided that it's time to end the match!" Frylock called. "She's going for the most electrifying move in her arsenal!"
Sora sized Sawyer up. . .
. . .
. . .leapt off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND WAS CAUGHT IN MID-AIR BY SAWYER BEFORE SHE COULD HIT THE SHOOTING STAR PRESS! The Cleaner then threw Sora over her head with a Fallaway Slam!
"OOOOOOOH! THE CLEANER JUST SENT SORA FLYING ACROSS THE RING WITH THAT FALLAWAY SLAM!" Frylock called.
"YEAH! THAT'LL CLEAN HER CLOCK FOR ME!" Casey cheered. "Looks like Frederica isn't done there, either!"
Indeed, Sawyer was already up onto her feet, looming over Sora until she hooked both her arms around Sora's and lifted her off her feet before taking her down with a Full Nelson Slam! The Crestbearer of Love's body contorted upwards until it landed chest-first onto the mat, upon which, she cleaned her lower back in agonizing pain. She tried to will herself up back to one knee. . .while Sawyer was making her way up to the top rope!
"Aw SHIT! I can't wait to watch this monster fly!" Shake declared. "Whether she lands this or not, I'mma be entertained!"
Sora finally made it to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR SAWYER TO TAKE HER BACK DOWN WITH A DIVING CORKSCREW SENTON!
"WHAT A LANDING! SORA'S GOTTA BE CRUSHED!" Shake declared, as Sawyer went for the cover, hooking a leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 SORA KICKED OUT! Sawyer shot up from the cover and began viciously stomping the XCW Women's Champion in frustration!
"Sawyer's getting so desperate to end this match, she's stomping the life outta Sora!" Frylock called.
"Those ribs have gotta be DONE FOR!" Casey declared. "THANKS FOR THE WEAK SPOT, SAWYER!"
The Cleaner then pulled Sora up by the hair and slugged her with a right hand that spun the Crestbearer of Love around to the point where her back was facing her. Sawyer then hooked Sora's arms and lifted her up for Sawyer's Cleaning (Vertebreaker)!
"UH-OH. . .Sawyer's looking to give Sora a DEVASTATING defeat before Abolishment!" Frylock said.
"Hey. . .doesn't that look familiar. . ." Shake observed, upon seeing Sawyer step into the center of the ring with Sora in the Vertebreaker. ". . .brings back memories, doesn't it, Casey?"
Casey simply said nothing, although it was VERY clear she was processing. . .something. . .but back in the ring, Sora was elbowing Sawyer in the sides to the best of her ability. . .until she was successfully able to roll out of Sawyer's grasp! With a burst of energy, Sora gripped Sawyer into a headlock from behind. . .
. . .
. . .AND FLIPPED HER ONTO HER CHEST WITH A JUMPING SPANISH FLY! Sora rolled Sawyer onto her back and went for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SAWYER POWERED OUT, CAUSING SORA TO FLY UPWARDS AND LAND ON HER SORE RIBS! The Ace of Women's Wrestling clenched her chest in pain following the impact as Sawyer gripped the top rope above her and pulled herself up. . .
. . .
. . .before landing a HUGE STOMP ONTO THE SHOULDER AND ARM OF SORA! Sora winced in pain as Sawyer pulled her up and set her up for a gutwrench suplex. . .
. . .
. . .or, she WOULD HAVE, if Sora didn't drive Sawyer up against the ropes behind her! Sora then Irish whipped Sawyer across the ring and charged toward her on the bounceback to drop her with a spear! But Sora knew that wouldn't be enough, so she ran against the ropes behind her and NAILED Sawyer in the chest with a series of soccer kicks that sent her back down to the mat! But when Sora went for a fifth Soccer kick, Sawyer ducked it and made her way up to her feet. . .
. . .
. . .BUT SORA CAUGHT HER AND THREW HER INTO THE CORNER WITH A MONKEY FLIP! In a daze, Sawyer pulled herself up to her feet with the ropes and made a mad dash toward Sora. . .
. . .
. . .WHO TOOK HER DOWN WITH A LEG LARIAT!
"LEG LARIAT! LEG LARIAT!" Frylock screamed. "THE OLDEST MOVE IN SORA'S BOOK MAY HAVE PUT DOWN SAWYER THE CLEANER!"
"Oh, HERE WE GO with the Four Moves of Doom YET AGAIN. . ." scoffed Shake, rolling his eyes. ". . .we have a female Cena on our hands, don't we, Casey?"
Casey said nothing, only looked up at the match with reserved anger on her face as Sora went for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 SAWYER KICKED OUT! Sora rolled off the cover, clenching her arm in pain as both women crawled toward opposite sides of the ring, pulling themselves up with the ropes as the fans exploded into applause and chants of, "THIS IS AWESOME!"
"The fans here in the Dimmsdale Dimmadome can't get enough of this match!" Frylock observed. "The Ace of Women's Wrestling has found herself up against one hell of an opponent in Sawyer The Cleaner, with Abolishment just six nights away! Who will prevail in this one-on-one matchup: the XCW Women's Champion or Sawyer, in her debut singles match?"
Sora and Sawyer made their way up to a standing position and were respectively trading swift knee strikes and powerful punches, each strike knocking the women further and further away from each other as the exchange went along. After a throat thrust to the chest and a European uppercut knocked Sora against the ropes, the Crestbearer of Love went for a desperation Spanish Fly on the bounceback. . .
. . .
. . .BUT SAWYER CAUGHT HER ON THE BOUNCEBACK AND DROPPED HER ON HER HEAD WITH THE BODY DISPOSAL!
"OHHHHHHHH! SORA'S BODY HAS BEEN DISPOSED OF THANKS TO SAWYER'S DEVASTATING HEADLOCK DRIVER!" Frylock exclaimed.
"THE CHAMP IS OUT! SHE'S OUT!" Shake screamed, as a stoic Casey looked on with her guitar in one hand as Sawyer elected to hook Sora's head in a headlock and pulled her off the mat for the Chainsaw Dance. . .
. . .
. . .BUT BEFORE SAWYER COULD MAKE ANY HORIZONTAL ROTATION, SORA GRIPPED ONTO HER NECK AND DROPPED HER WITH THE HEARTSTOPPER!
"WAIT A MINUTE! SORA FOUND AN OPENING!" Frylock shouted, as the fans EXPLODED with cheers! Sora drug herself to a corner to take refuge, waving an arm upward repeatedly, PLEADING for Sawyer to stand up. Eventually The Cleaner made it to her feet, giving Sora the go-ahead to leap off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND WHIP SAWYER DOWN TO THE MAT WITH A SORACANRANA! But the XCW Women's Champion maneuvered to another corner, keeping herself propped up by holding onto the top ropes at both her sides until Sawyer made her way back up to her feet. . .
. . .
. . .upon which, Sora sprinted out of the corner with all the energy she had left. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE TAKING SAWYER DOWN WITH A SORCANRANA. . .
. . .
. . .THAT SORA TRANSITIONED INTO A PIN ATTEMPT!
"TWO SORACANRANAS IN A ROW! IS IT ENOUGH?" Frylock screamed, as the referee made the count! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .3!
"IT IS! SORA PICKS UP THE VICTORY!" Frylock shouted, as Sora let go of Sawyer an approximate second after the bell rang!
"The winner of this match. . .'The Crestbearer of Love'. . .SORA TAKENOUCHI!"
Sora was wincing in pain, clenching her ribs and checking her arm in a nearby corner as the ring announcer was about to hand her the XCW Women's Championship.
"DAMMIT! SHE GOT IT BY THE SKIN OF HER PERFECT TEETH! Well Casey, ya gotta any final words before Sunday? You're the number one contender! State your goddamn case. . ." Shake demanded as he turned toward her. . .
. . .but Casey. . .was nowhere to be found. . .?
". . .where the hell'd she go-?" Shake wondered, as Sora picked up her belt and turned around to meet the referee in the center of the ring-
-UNTIL CASEY NAILED HER IN THE SORE RIBS WITH HER ELECTRIC GUITAR!
"OH COME ON! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, NOW?" Frylock shouted, as the Goddess of Rock had a look of absolute disgust and anger on her face while she raised her guitar again. . .
. . .
. . .AND STRUCK SORA IN THE RIBS WITH IT AGAIN, KNOCKING HER DOWN TO THE MAT!
"IT'S A STATEMENT, FRYLOCK!" Shake declared. "Casey's stating her CASE for the XCW Women's Championship, and if she keeps this attitude, after Abolishment, she's gonna HAVE IT!"
"Sora just went through a strenuous matchup against Sawyer, a formidable opponent. . .but this attack is CHEAP and UNNECESSARY on the part of 'The Goddess of Rock', Casey Lynch!" Frylock yelled, as Casey raised her guitar one more time. . .
. . .
. . .AND STRUCK SORA RIGHT IN THE RIGHT ARM SOCKET OF HER SHOULDER! Sora cried and winced in agonizing pain from the impact!
"DEAR LORD!" cried Frylock. "After all the damage Sora's arm and ribs have taken against Sawyer tonight, Casey's got her targets marked and ready! Provided of course, Sora even MAKES it to Abolishment now!"
Casey pulled Sora up by the hair to lift her head so she could look into her eyes. Off-mic, a VERY angry and focused Casey Lynch said one thing to the XCW Women's Champion. . .
"Mark my words. . .after Sunday. . .you won't have an ARM TO RAISE. . .because your belt is going home with ME. . .and THAT MOMENT. . .MY MOMENT. . .WILL BE RIGHTEOUS."
And with that, Casey THREW Sora's head back down onto the mat to THUNDEROUS boos from the crowd.
"The Goddess of Rock has made her message LOUD and CLEAR. . .in the form of a disgusting attack!" Frylock declared, as Casey raised her guitar high above her head as she backed up to the ropes nearest the ramp. "Who knows what kind of condition Sora's ribs and arm will be in come Sunday?"
The referee knelt down to check on Sora, who was crying and wincing in pain, clenching her ribs with one hand while her right arm laid motionless on the mat, while Casey stood at the foot of the ramp, smirking in satisfaction of her handiwork while the crowd continued to boo throughout the arena.
"Sora brought it on herself, Frylock!" Shake snapped. "If you're the Ace of Women's Wrestling, you're bound to have challengers. Casey Goddamn Lynch just happens to be the first of many, and she wants Sora to PROVE she's the best by beating her with less!"
Sora tried to sit up, struggling to make it up to one knee, clenching her ribs with her one good arm and scowling FURIOUSLY at Casey, who was backing up the ramp shouting, "THIS SUNDAY, THE ACE GOES DOWN!" at the fans.
"Here's hoping The Crestbearer of Love's arm and ribs are well enough for her XCW Women's title defense this Sunday at Abolishment, and Shake, considering how this rivalry has progressed in recent weeks, I have a feeling Sora Takenouchi and Casey Lynch are gonna put on one hell of a match as they fight each other to finally determine who's the better woman between the two of them!" Frylock said, while the show transitioned to the announcer's desk, where he and Shake were sitting as they had a conversation.
"It's CLEARLY Casey." Shake declared. "Her star shines brighter than ANY AND ALL the girls in the back, and she ain't gonna let anyone extinguish it when the XCW Women's Championship is in her sights, because we have an all-female pay-per-view coming up in the form of Equal Pain, and there's HISTORY to be made in the main event of that show!"
"Don't act like you're this beacon for social progress, Shake!" retorted Frylock. "You've asked more women for sex first than a date or anything else, and YOU KNOW IT!"
"Hey, I know what they're good for!" Shake responded. "THAT, and makin' a sandwich!"
Frylock rolled his eyes, "Well, ladies and gentlemen, three men who need a sandwich right now are Ed, Double D and Eddy, also known as D-Generation Ed. . ."
"Nice segue, Frylock." Shake deadpanned. "Ya really know how to do your job."
". . .they've been holding their own investigation over who attacked them before they could enter the Tag Team Turmoil match, but it's been ultimately fruitless up to this point. But were they able to catch a break in their exploration in time for this year's Fiction Wrestling Awards? Let's find out on the newest episode of The Private Eds. . ."
"Oh, joy. . ." Shake exclaimed with sarcasm before the show faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and then faded back up on a black-and-white interior shot of an old-timey looking hallway, as the camera tracked forward down the hallway toward a door at the end of it that had, 'The Private Eds' written in permanent marker above the crossed out words, "Reserved For Squidward Tentacles". . .
". . .sooooooo, I'm not sure if I heard that right. . ." Double D said, as the show transitioned to inside the Ed's office, where Double D and Eddy were having a conversation while Ed was spinning himself around in a giant leather chair behind a giant wooden desk. ". . .buuuut are you really saying that you're in Post Malone's entourage?"
"It's true, Sockhead!" Eddy replied. "After the anonymous tip we received, I went to his concert by mand thought I couldn't trust him from the sight of 'im. . .so I went backstage and he just let me in, no problem, we talked about the investigation, his music, and got to know each other over a joint or two. Turns out he's a pretty honest and cool guy!"
"That's a first for a celebrity of his ilk. . ." Double D said, blinking twice.
"It's a first, but it's true!" Eddy insisted. "We're supposed to get matching face tattoos on Saturday!"
After a beat, Double D asked, ". . .he has room for ANOTHER one of those. . .?"
"LET'S SLEUTH LIKE A TOOTH, MISTERS!" Ed exclaimed, leaping out of the chair and grabbing Eddy and Double D by their shirt collars before hitting the floor and running through the wall, leaving three Ed-shaped holes in it.
"GAAAHHH! ED! WHY THE SUDDEN URGENCY?" Double D yelled.
"I SPY SOMETHING WITH THE EYE OF MY NOSE, DOUBLE D!" Ed shouted.
"The only thing I smell is your B.O., Monobrow. . ." Eddy said, tearing up underneath his friend's sweaty arm. "PEE-YEEEEEW!"
Eventually, the Ed's trek down the hallway led the three degenerates. . .
. . .
. . .into a-storage closet. . .?
"Ed. . .I have significant doubts we'll find anything of fruitful substance inside a utility closet." Double D stated.
"Unless he's looking for Pine Sol, anyway…." Eddy said.
"You mean your favorite brand of cologne?" Double D quipped with a chuckle.
"At least I wear SOMETHING, Sockhead." Eddy retorted, right before Ed shouted, "BINGO!", prompting the D-Ed leader to dash over to his side.
"What'd you find, Lumpy? A CLUE?"
"Even better!" Ed said, before holding up. . .
"My Crimson Chin glow-in-the-dark mechanical pencil!" finished Ed, before waving it around with excitement. "I found it in a box of Chunky Puffs! It was almost lost FOREVER…."
Eddy growled under his breath before grabbing Ed by the collar of his jacket. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOSSING HIM HEAD AND BODY FIRST THROUGH THE WALL!
"EGAD! Eddy, how many walls do you intend to destroy in this investigation?" Double D asked, running to Eddy's side to look into the hole in the wall he had made.
"Just one. . .as long as I'M doing the throwing!" Eddy replied, pointing to himself before Ed groggily pulled himself up to his feet on the other side of the wall. . .
. . .
. . .and exclaimed "OOOOOOOOOOH!" in astonishment.
"What is it, Ed?" Double D wondered, as he stepped behind the wall.
"Lemme guess. . .a message from ALIENS?!" Eddy mocked, following Double D, whose eyes widened upon seeing a message scrawled in giant letters on the wall!
"Oh my. . .this riddle's been etched into the wall!" Double D exclaimed, before scanning the writing on the wall to encrypt it.
"How are these ALWAYS left for us in plain sight?" Eddy added, while Ed just stared off into space with a dazed grin on his face.
"McDonald's has gold arches, Eddy!" Ed replied, to a long, awkward pause. . .
. . .until Double D started to read the riddle aloud.
"If you think this is fun and games
Well, that's an absolute myth,
Because this company will soon feel
the Revenge of the. . .SITH. . ."
"OF COURSE!" Eddy shouted, snapping his fingers upon realization. "DARTH MAUL AND SAVAGE OPRESS ATTACKED US!"
"They were still in Liberty City Wrestling before Shockwave, and were "just visiting" until Space Ghost had "no choice" but to put them in. . ." Double D deduced, ". . .that sounds. . .suspiciously convenient. . ."
"EXACTLY, SOCKHEAD!" Eddy shouted. "IT ALL MAKES TOO MUCH SENSE! LET'S FIND THESE SITH LORDS AND STOP THEIR REVENGE TOUR BEFORE IT STARTS!"
Eddy dashed out of the supply closet, turning a corner with his MASSIVE tongue hanging out behind him, leaving Double D and Ed in the dust.
". . .what on Earth is this investigation turning into. . .?" Double D wondered, as he and Ed left the supply closet.
"Detective is fun, Double D!" Ed exclaimed. "Can we play House next? I wanna be the Mom!"
". . .we'll work on that, Ed. . ." Double D assured, as he and Ed turned the corner and left the scene empty before the show transitioned to a commercial break.
As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, a VHS-tape started to play on-screen, showing an extreme closeup of Rigby's face, before the raccoon moved out of the way to reveal Mordecai standing in The Park in the background.
"Hey Knighthood!" Mordecai called. "I hope this tape finds you dudes well in the NetherRealm. Or Oblivion. . .or wherever you are. . .because while you've been ripping spines out and floating through darkness with monsters, we've TOTALLY been gearing up for our no-disqualification match against you two at Abolishment!"
"Yeah dudes!" Rigby agreed, as he stepped into the frame. "We didn't beat seven teams in a row just for you guys to run back to your leader with your tails between your legs when we finally got our shot. You two may have made yourself into icons of this entire industry wrestling for Ultimate Wrestling Entertainment, but this is XCW. And in XCW, you've been running away from us at every opportunity you can, and have gotten away by the skin of your teeth when we're about to beat you. . .but all that comes to an end THIS SUNDAY, BRO!"
"Hm! Hm! Agreed." Mordecai nodded, before waving one of his arms toward himself as if to say, 'Come over here' to something off-camera. "Because we have something to show you. . ."
All of a sudden, Muscle Man and Hi Five Ghost came into frame driving a golf cart. . .
. . .
. . .with a COOLER FULL OF WEAPONS on the back seats of it!
"Here's your haul, bros!" said Muscle Man, before coming to a stop. "Kick those ninjas in the DICK for us!"
"We WILL, Muscle Man." Mordecai assured.
"You know who ELSE wants you to kick those ninjas in the dick? MY MOM!" exclaimed Muscle Man, to a groan from Mordecai.
"...I'm sure she does…." Mordecai deadpanned.
"Yeah, thanks for the delivery, Muscle Man." Rigby said, while facepalming. "We'll see ya when we get back."
"WOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Muscle Man, who inexplicably took off his shirt and started waving it high above his head on his way out of the frame. "THE TAG TITLES ARE COMING TO THE PARK!"
"As we were saying. . .we know your history, and with that, we're TOTALLY aware of the violence you're capable of in the ring. So we'll match you BLOW FOR BLOW, MOVE FOR MOVE, AND WEAPON FOR WEAPON!" Mordecai declared. "And if Ren and Stimpy try to interfere, then we've got their number, too. We've defeated them before fair and square. . .and with no rules on Sunday, we're gonna give you the beating we've wanted to give you ever since Pride and Glory! We may have been scared before once Space Ghost made the announcement, but with these weapons in tow, we're more prepared for you now than we've ever been. But first, tonight, we're facing Mario and Spongebob in a No-Disqualification match. . .and IN that match, we're gonna use them to PROVE to you and the wrestling world that we mean nothing but BUSINESS!"
"You see, Subby. . .you and Scorp are a LOT like Ren and Stimpy. . ." Rigby added, ". . .you two have a background in hardcore wrestling. . .you both have storied careers. . .and you don't know when to quit. The guard has to belong to someone new one of these days. . .and after Sunday, it's gonna belong to US. We have our whole wrestling careers ahead of us, we're as tough as they come, and our youth makes us more smarter than both of you! And we're gonna show you two, the entire Knighthood, Ren and Stimpy, heck, and ALL of the Nicktoons what happens when you call us slackers!"
"We're The Wild Dudes for a reason, Knighthood. . .and it's because our time is NOW. . ." Mordecai said, before leaning closer into the camera to conclude with. . .
. . .
". . .and YOUR time is UP."
Mordecai and Rigby then leaned back into a standing position before screaming, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" in unison, never stopping until they spin out of the frame, leaving their golf cart full of weapons unattended until the VHS tape suddenly cuts to black, returning the show back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following tag team contest is a no-disqualification match scheduled for one fall!"
"Party Tonight" by Mordecai and the Rigbys played to boos from the crowd, as Mordecai and Rigby rode their golf cart onto the stage, with several crates of weapons on the back seat behind them.
"Introducing first. . .representing the Rookie Revolution. . .from The Park. . .the team of Mordecai and Rigby. . .THE WILD DUDES!"
Mordecai repeatedly honked the horn of the golf cart while speeding down the ramp, while Rigby hamboned in the direction of the fans they passed.
"Well, you heard 'em talk the talk just now, ladies and gentlemen, and you're about to see if Mordecai and Rigby can walk the walk. . ." Frylock declared, ". . .because tonight, The Wild Dudes are about to fight in what they consider a tune-up No-Disqualification match against Mario and Spongebob before what could be their final chance to fight Scorpion and Sub-Zero for the XCW Tag Team Championships this Sunday at Abolishment! Mordecai and Rigby said they want to prove that they can match the Knighthood of Assassins blow for blow, and weapon for weapon. . .but that may not be easy to prove tonight against the wily veterans Mario and Spongebob Squarepants!"
Mordecai and Rigby entered the ring and ran against the ropes on opposite sides of the ring, and met in the ring with a high-five before screaming, "YEAHUH!"
"Like hell it ain't, Frylock!" Shake responded. "Mario and Spongebob may be one of my favorite new tag teams in this company, but Mordecai and Rigby weren't kidding when they said the old guard needed to change, and that it would on Sunday. Because the Wild Dudes outlasted seven other tag teams at Shockwave, and have won tag team titles in both LCW AND NXT! They're due to win tag team gold on the main roster SOMEWHERE, and for them, there's no better place to break into the mainstream than Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!"
Mordecai and Rigby backed up to their corners just in time to hear. . .
. . .
". . .I'M READY!"
. . .
. . .followed by "Teen Beat Ocean" by Jackson and His Computer Band, with pyro exploding in unison to the first notes of the song! Mario and Spongebob Squarepants then walked onto the stage and posed to a mixed reaction.
"And their opponents. . .the team of 'The Champion of Life' Mario. . .and 'The TRUE Animation Icon". . .Spongebob Squarepants. . .THE KINGS OOOOOOOOOF GREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAATNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"
"Well, you heard these two men be introduced as 'The Mushroom Sponges' in the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave, but it appears that Mario and Spongebob are always looking to try new things as they find their footing as a tag team." Frylock suggested. "And it makes sense for them to, because as of this moment, there is no timetable for Mario's brother Luigi to return to XCW for the time being, upon the ambush he suffered at the hands of Arthur and Smokey The Bear! So you have to wonder what's going through Mario's mind as he squares off against the First PBS Kid's fellow Rookie Revolution members, Mordecai and Rigby!"
Mario ran down the ramp and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising a peace sign toward the crowd, while Spongebob stepped into the ring above the second rope and climbed onto a turnbuckle, raising a fist in the air to a mixed reaction from the crowd.
"Come on, Frylock! Smokey The Bear just wanted to establish his alignment with The First PBS Kid in assaulting Luigi, and Arthur's hand in it came by returning the favor!" Shake declared. "The Wild Dudes have no reason to be on Mario's shit list! If anything, Mario should just challenge Arthur for the XCW World Television Championship outright-OH WAIT! HE TOTALLY IS CHALLENGING ARTHUR FOR THE XCW WORLD TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP AT ABOLISHMENT! AND GUESS WHAT? MY MAIN MAN ARTHUR IS GONNA WIN! THAT'S MY STONE COLD LOCK OF THE CENTURY OF THE WEEK!"
"You better hope Carl didn't hear that, or he'll sue you for gimmick infringement." Frylock deadpanned. "Anyway, Mario has his own feelings of aggression to take out on Mordecai and Rigby, while the Wild Dudes have something to prove before their Tag Team Championship match this Sunday at Abolishment. . .what's gonna happen once this match gets underway-OH MY GOD!"
Mario stepped off the corner-
-AND WAS IMMEDIATELY CLOTHESLINED TO THE OUTSIDE BY MORDECAI WHILE RIGBY AND SPONGEBOB BRAWLED IN THE CENTER OF THE RING!
"Mordecai and Rigby are firing on all cylinders to start this off! Tornado tag rules are in effect as this no disqualification match gets officially underway!" Frylock called, while the bell rang and the match officially began! From the ring apron, Mordecai went for a running kick to Mario's face, but the Champion of Life scouted it before it could make impact, catching the leg and sweeping it out from under the blue jay to make him faceplant onto the apron and roll onto the floor! Mario then pulled Mordecai up to a standing position and Irish whipped him into the nearby steel steps, causing him to collide into them with a sickening thud! Mordecai winced in pain from the impact until Mario pulled him up and nailed him right between the eyes with a three-punch combination, only for Mordecai to catch Mario's fist before the third right hand could land! Mordecai then Irish whipped Mario face first into the golf cart, then lifted him up. . .
. . .
. . .AND DROPPED MARIO BACK-FIRST ONTO THE HOOD OF THE GOLF CART WITH A BACK SUPLEX!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AND PEOPLE SAY THE RING APRON IS HARD!" Shake cringed, as Mordecai pulled Mario up by his suspenders and went for a DDT on the concrete floor, but from out of nowhere, Spongebob leapt from the ring apron to take down Mordecai with a diving shotgun dropkick! Mario and Spongebob then pulled Mordecai up for a double suplex. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR RIGBY TO TAKE THEM BOTH DOWN WITH A SUICIDE DIVE! ALL FOUR MEN WERE DOWN ON THE FLOOR AS THE CROWD EXPLODED INTO CHANTS OF "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"
"BOTH THE KINGS OF GREATNESS AND THE WILD DUDES CAME TO FIGHT EACH OTHER IN THIS NO-DISQUALIFICATION MATCH!" Frylock exclaimed. "WHAT WILL HAPPEN AS THIS BATTLE BETWEEN TAG TEAMS CONTINUES?"
*skip to end*
Mario and Spongebob stumbled toward the center of the ring, where a now-bloodied Rigby was slow to pull himself up to a standing position, unaware of the men standing behind him. Mario and Spongebob then sat Rigby on top of their shoulders, both legends staring right at each other with the utmost confidence. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE DROPPING RIGBY INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A DOUBLE FIREMAN'S CARRY FACEBUSTER!
"MARIO AND SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS JUST CONNECTED WITH THE SAME MOVE THE CHAMPION OF LIFE AND HIS BROTHER USED TO PUT AWAY THEIR ADVERSARIES FOR DECADES!" Frylock exclaimed. "IS IT ENOUGH TO GET THEM THE WIN?"
Mario and Spongebob both went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .MORDECAI BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A STEEL CHAIR TO THE BACK OF MARIO AND SPONGEBOB!
"NOOOOOOOOO!" Frylock cried. "MORDECAI BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!"
"THAT WAS AS CLOSE AS THAT TIME YOU HAD AN ESCORT OVER AND PULLED OUT BEFORE CLIMAX, FRYLOCK!" Shake yelled.
"SHAKE! THAT'S A DAMN LIE, AND YOU KNOW IT!" Frylock retorted.
"THAT'S NOT HOW I REMEMBER IT…." Shake insisted, ". . .BUT WHAT EVERYBODY WILL REMEMBER AFTER TONIGHT IS THAT MORDECAI AND RIGBY ARE THE REAL DEAL!"
Spongebob rolled out of the ring, clenching his lower back in pain while Mordecai pulled Mario up by the suspenders and slugged him with a right hand, only for Mario to fire back with a right hand of his own! Both men continued to trade right hands, as they appeared to grow more exhausted with every punch. Eventually Mordecai caught Mario's fist and then twisted his arm in an arm wrench before nailing him in the chin with a back kick that sent him reeling into a nearby corner. Mordecai then Irish whipped the Champion of Life out of the corner and against the ropes before catching him on the bounceback with a Tilt-A-Whirl Backbreaker! Mordecai went for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .MARIO KICKED OUT WITH A PUNCH TO THE SIDE OF MORDECAI'S HEAD!
"THE VETERAN MARIO STILL HAS SIGNS OF LIFE, AND HE JUST TOLD MORDECAI HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HIM!" Frylock declared, as Mordecai pulled Mario up to his knees. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR MARIO TO JUMP UP AND SEND MORDECAI ONTO THE RING APRON WITH A 1-UPPERCUT (Jumping Uppercut)! Mario slowly but surely pulled himself back up to a standing position and used the top rope to launch himself off his feet. . .
. . .
. . .AND DROPPED MORDECAI ON HIS HEAD WITH A SLINGSHOT DDT!
"OH MY GOD! WHAT A MOVE FROM MARIO! YOU CAN TEACH AN OLD DOG NEW TRICKS!" Frylock shouted.
"BUT HOW MUCH MORE DAMAGE DID HE DO TO HIS BODY?" Shake exclaimed. "THAT'S THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING!"
Mario rolled back into the ring, pulling a now-dazed Mordecai back into the center of it, and went for a cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .RIGBY BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT BY WHIPPING A CHAIN ACROSS HIS BACK! Mario winced in pain from the impact until Rigby threw the chain back behind him. . .
. . .
. . .THEN WHIPPED MARIO'S BACK WITH THE CHAIN AGAIN!
"Mario's back has been the primary target of the Wild Dudes throughout this match!" Frylock informed. "How much more punishment can the Champion of Life take?"
"Not enough for my liking." Shake responded. "WHIP HIM LIKE HE'S A PRISONER, RIGBY!"
Rigby reared the chain back for one more strike. . .
. . .
. . .BUT SPONGEBOB GRABBED IT FROM THE RING APRON AND PULLED ONTO IT UNTIL RIGBY FELL DOWN TO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR! Rigby and Spongebob began brawling in front of the announcer's table until Rigby kneed Spongebob in the groin before tossing him head-first into the timekeeper's booth! Spongebob rose onto his knees in a daze, clenching his head. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL RIGBY PICKED UP THE RING BELL AND DROPPED IT SQUARE ON THE TOP OF SPONGEBOB'S HEAD, KNOCKING HIM BACK DOWN! The Regular Raccoon then made his way back toward the ring, picking up his chain. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR SPONGEBOB TO KNOCK HIM DOWN FROM BEHIND WITH A DESPERATION CHOP BLOCK! As Rigby clenched his leg and Spongebob sold his head on the ringside floor, Mario struggled to pull himself up to one knee in the ring. . .
. . .
. . .BUT HE COULDN'T BEFORE MORDECAI LIFTED HIM UP FROM BEHIND AND DROPPED HIM WITH A SITOUT WHEELBARROW FACEBUSTER!
"DAMMIT! MORDECAI CAPITALIZES OFF OF RIGBY'S ASSISTANCE!" Frylock called, as Mordecai went for the cover!
"THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT! THERE'S NO GODDAMN DISQUALIFICATION!" Shake snapped, as the referee made the count 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .MARIO KICKED OUT! MORDECAI COULDN'T BELIEVE IT!
"OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Frylock shouted, as Mordecai punched the mat, groaning in frustration! The blue jay couldn't stew in anger for too long, however. . .he had a mission statement to make. . .and he wanted to prove it with his next move. Mordecai then put Mario in a headlock and pulled him back up to a standing position. . .
. . .then leapt up. . .
. . .
. . .and-COULD NOT HIT THE YEAHUH BECAUSE MARIO COUNTERED IT INTO AN ARM DRAG! Mario then charged toward Mordecai and landed double knees onto him in the corner! The Champion of Life then pulled the dazed blue jay out of the corner, and into the center of the ring, where he draped his arm across his back. . .
. . .. . .and dropped him with a Rolling Suplex! But Mario retained his grip on Mordecai, keeping him in a headlock on his way up to a standing position. Mario then lifted Mordecai off his feet. . .and dropped him with a SECOND rolling suplex! But with all his might, the Champion of Life pulled the Blue Jay back up, and picked him up off the ground one more time. . .
. . .
. . .AND COMPLETED THE TRIFECTA OF ROLLING SUPLEXES!
"MARIO COMPLETES THE 3-UP!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL IT BE ENOUGH?"
Mario went for the cover, just barely draping his arm across Mordecai's chest! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 MORDECAI KICKED OUT! MARIO ROLLED OFF FROM THE COVER, ABSOLUTELY EXASPERATED!
"Mario's out to send a message of his own to The First PBS Kid, Arthur Read, before their match for the World Television Championship match this Sunday at Abolishment. . .but The Wild Dudes have one of their own to send to Scorpion and Sub-Zero!" Frylock reminded, as Mario crawled toward the ropes to pull himself up. Meanwhile, Rigby and Spongebob were still brawling around the ringside area, with Rigby trying to get to Mario and pull him out of the ring, but Spongebob caught Rigby from behind and dropped him with a Tiger Suplex onto the ringside floor! Back in the ring, Mario pulled himself up to a standing position and reeled toward Mordecai, who was up to one knee. . .
. . .AND EAGER TO NAIL MARIO WITH A CHAIN-WRAPPED PUNCH!
"A CHAIN WRAPPED RIGHT HAND!" Frylock shouted. "WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?"
"C'mon, Frylock! You saw Mordecai choke Spongebob with it against the ring post before we went to break, right?" Shake asked. "Or are ya blind and just don't wanna tell anybody?"
With Mario down on the mat, Mordecai taunted Mario to rise, which he groggily but eventually did. . .
. . .
. . .JUST IN TIME FOR MORDECAI TO DROP HIM WITH THE YEAHUH!
"AND THERE'S THE YEAHUH!" Frylock screamed. "AND THE WILD DUDES WILL BE SCREAMING JUST THAT IF THE FINAL BELL RINGS!"
Mordecai went for the cover, weakly hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 SPONGEBOB BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A FLYING HEADBUTT!
"LEAVE IT TO THE TRUE ANIMATION ICON TO SAVE HIS TEAMMATE!" Frylock yelled, as Mordecai rolled out of the ring, landing onto the outside floor with a thud while Mario rolled out of it to collect himself. Meanwhile, Spongebob pulled himself up to a standing position, clenching his head while turning around. . .
. . .
. . .AND GETTING FLAPJACKED INTO THE NEAR CORNER BY RIGBY, WHO WAITED FOR SPONGEBOB TO STUMBLE BACK TOWARD HIM. . .
. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM FACE-FIRST ONTO A CHAIR WITH THE TEMP CHECK!
"THAT COMBO MAY HAVE PUT AWAY THE SPONGE SUPLEX MACHINE!" Frylock declared, as Rigby went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SPONGEBOB KICKED OUT! Rigby rose up from the cover and screamed, "UGGGGGHHHHHH…." in annoyance.
"You're not gonna rise up the ranks by whining, Rigby!" Frylock called. "In wrestling, it's win or lose!"
"THANK YOU, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!" Shake yelled. "That's some REAL EXPERT analysis you've got going right there."
Rigby then pointed at the top turnbuckle, as if to call his shot to BOOS from the crowd, before standing on it. . .
. . .
. . .then started Hamboning against his chest. . .
. . .
. . .BUT DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE TO LEAP OFF BECAUSE SPONGEBOB CROTCHED HIM ONTO THE TURNBUCKLE!
"You don't rise up the ranks by wasting TIME, either." Frylock added, as Spongebob had Rigby in position for a top-rope Atomic Drop. . .
. . .but Spongebob leapt off the turnbuckle while bouncing Rigby off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND UPON LANDING, DROPPED RIGBY ON HIS KNEE FOR A TOP-ROPE SLINGSHOT BACKBREAKER!
"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock exclaimed. "WE THOUGHT MARIO'S BACK WAS DONE FOR EARLY ON IN THIS MATCH, BUT THAT'S ONE HELL OF A MOVE FROM THE SPONGE SUPLEX MACHINE!"
Rigby clenched his lower back in pain as he tried crawling towards his chain, to which Spongebob stepped after him asking, "Where do ya think YOU'RE going?" along the way. Spongebob then grabbed Rigby by the leg and rammed his knee against the mat with a knee smash before pulling him up to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .AND LAUNCHING HIM INTO THE CORNER WITH A T-BONE SUPLEX!
"Spongebob is effectively living up to his moniker with that T-Bone Suplex!" Frylock said. "How will he follow it up?"
Mordecai slowly but surely pulled himself up to a standing position, trying so hard to get back into the ring to save Rigby, who was using the ropes to get back to a vertical base. . .
. . .
. . .BUT MARIO WAS THERE TO RAM MORDECAI'S HEAD AND FACE INTO THE TOP OF THE BARRICADE! Meanwhile, Rigby had made it back up to his feet and turned around. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR SPONGEBOB TO SET HIM ON HIS SHOULDERS IN A FIREMAN'S CARRY POSITION. . .
. . .
. . .AND DROP HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH THE TIDAL WAVE!
"AND THERE'S THE TIDAL WAVE!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL THAT BE ALL?"
Spongebob went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 RIGBY KICKED OUT! Spongebob rolled off from the cover, groaning with frustration!
"The Tidal Wave didn't sweep The Regular Raccoon into the ocean of defeat!" Frylock said. "What will Spongebob do next?"
The Sponge Suplex Machine pulled Rigby up to his feet and set his head between his legs in a powerbomb position. Spongebob then lifted him up in a crucifix position on his shoulders. . .
. . .
. . .then ran forward. . .
. . .
. . .AND-COULD NOT THROW HIM OUT OF THE RING WITH THE SPONGY EDGE BECAUSE RIGBY KICKED HIM IN THE KIDNEY BEHIND HIM! Spongebob fell to one knee, letting Rigby fall to the center of the ring behind him. The Sponge Suplex Machine then turned around to try and catch Rigby in a belly-to-belly suplex. . .
. . .
. . .BUT THE REGULAR RACCOON KNOCKED HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH THE POWER!
"BY THE POWER OF TROUBLE IN PARADISE, RIGBY USED THE POWER TO KNOCK SPONGEBOB OUT COLD!" Shake exclaimed. "WILL THIS BE IT?"
Rigby exclaimed, "YEAHUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHH!" before going for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 MARIO PULLED THE REFEREE OUT OF THE RING!
"It was already a No-Disqualification match, but Mario will do anything to get himself and Spongebob the win!" Frylock called, as Mario slid into the ring and nailed Rigby in the face with a 1-Uppercut! Mario then pulled Spongebob up to his feet, asking his friend if he was okay. Spongebob nodded yes, which then prompted the Champion of Life to ask his ally if he was ready. Spongebob then nodded more aggressively, saying he was ready. . .but then the Champion of Life jumped up in encouragement, screaming "ARE YOU READY?", prompting The Sponge Suplex Machine to jump with him, exclaiming, "IIIIIIII'M REAAAAADYYYYYY!"
"The Kings of Greatness have gotten themselves amped up to throw the final daggers into the body of Rigby!" Frylock declared. "These two legends are about to get a big victory against the number one contenders for the XCW Tag Team titles!"
The Kings of Greatness then climbed on top of opposing turnbuckles, with Mario and Spongebob sizing Rigby up for the Super Mario Splash and the Headspring respectively. . .
. . .
. . .but then all of a sudden, Mario found himself distracted. . .
. . .
. . .BY ARTHUR READ, WHO WAS SHOUTING AT HIM FROM THE MIDDLE OF THE RAMP!
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock yelled. "IT'S ARTHUR! WHERE THE HELL DID HE COME FROM?"
"From backstage, obviously." Shake deadpanned. "That's where his locker room is."
Frylock narrowed his eyes at that backhanded comment while Mario furrowed his brow in rage at the First PBS Kid. . .
. . .
. . .to the point of LEAPING off the top rope and chase after him!
"AND MARIO WANTS THE PIECE OF ARTHUR THAT HE COULDN'T GET LAST WEEK!" Frylock screamed. "HE'S HELLBENT ON ACHIEVING HIS VENGEANCE AND TAKING THE TELEVISION TITLE FROM THE FIRST PBS KID!"
"RUN LIKE HELL, ARTHUR!" Shake implored. "MARIO'S FAT ASS WILL NEVER CATCH UP TO YA!"
. . .meanwhile, Spongebob was alone on the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .and went for the Head Spring off the distraction. . .
. . .
. . .BUT FROM OUTTA NOWHERE MORDECAI NAILED HIM IN THE FACE WITH A CHAIN-WRAPPED DEATH PUNCHIE!
"OH MY LORD!" cringed Frylock. "MORDECAI TOOK OUT SPONGEBOB WITH AN UNFORGIVING DEATH PUNCHIE!"
"WOOOOO! I BET THAT STEEL TASTES GREAT SERVED WITH A FIST, FRYLOCK!" Shake screamed, to which Frylock blinked twice in confusion. Meanwhile, Mordecai stepped toward a nearby corner, with Rigby stepping behind him. Mordecai then stood on the top rope, with Rigby standing on the middle rope. . .
. . .
. . .until Mordecai lifted up his best friend. . .
. . .
. . .then threw him off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .SO RIGBY COULD LAND A CROSSBODY BLOCK ONTO SPONGEBOB, COMPLETING THE REGULAR MOVE!
"THERE IT IS!" Shake exclaimed. "THAT MAY BE THE REGULAR MOVE. . ."
Rigby then went for the cover on Spongebob in the center of the ring, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .3!
". . .BUT IT GOT THE JOB DONE FOR MORDECAI AND RIGBY!" finished Shake, as Mordecai helped Rigby up to his feet while the bell rang to boos from the crowd.
"The winners of this match. . .MORDECAI AND RIGBY. . .THEEEEEEEEEEE WIIIIIIIIIIIIILD DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDES!"
The referee raised Mordecai and Rigby's arms in victory, then Mordecai high-fived Rigby in the center of the ring and began pointing up into the ceiling, screaming, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" in celebration.
"Welp, another Massacre brings another hard-fought victory for Mordecai and Rigby!" Shake declared. "It sure wasn't easy to put down those old fossils Mario and Spongebob, but the Wild Dudes were crafty! They were fast, and they were smart! Arthur's lessons are really rubbing off on this young FWA-winning tag team, and if they keep this up come Abolishment, they're gonna be leaving Twin Peaks as the new XCW Tag Team Champions!"
Mordecai and Rigby continued to celebrate in the ring as the show briefly cut to the Knighthood of Assassins' locker room, where Scorpion and Sub-Zero were watching the two slackers celebrate on a high definition TV from a diagonal angle with a look of dissatisfaction on their faces, before cutting back to the ring.
"I don't know what match you just watched, Shake, because that is some of the most asinine crap I've ever heard come out of your mouth!" Frylock declared. "I'll give 'em credit for bringing the weapons and the intensity in this matchup, but they still won off a distraction from Arthur Read! It's clear his intentions were to get under the skin of his Abolishment opponent, and he succeeded in that, but if you told me that Mordecai and Rigby were ready to fight those two Kombatants this Sunday, I would have thought you were braindead!"
"You know what's braindead, Frylock?" Shake asked, "Watching TV at THAT angle! How are those dumbasses COMFORTABLE standing like that?"
"Well, ya got me there, Shake…." Frylock responded, as Mordecai and Rigby continued to celebrate on opposite turnbuckles, taunting in the direction of the titantron until the show transitioned to a darkly-lit room in the backstage area, where Daffy Duck stood alone, staring sternly into the camera.
". . .last week, you all followed 'The Animation Icon' himself, Bugs Bunny, on a trip down Memory Lane. . .you looked at his greatest achievements, his runs in every promotion he touched, and his rivalry with me. Now, Bugsy, the stunt you pulled was moving, I'll give you THAT much. . .but there's ONE achievement you DIDN'T show. . .and I'm gonna show it to you, and the sheep that followed you blindly last week. Take a look."
Daffy gestured toward something off-screen until the show faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and then faded up on old VHS footage. . .the UCA logo was all over the walls of the backstage area, meaning this was from an episode of Monday Night Flame. . .
. . .
. . .and the date on the footage clearly read, 'April 8 1996'. . .
. . .
. . .but into the frame came Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck, who were each hugging the last in two long lines of wrestlers and UCA backstage personnel applauding them in congratulations over their retirement. After a beat, Bugs and Daffy were striding further down the hallway, and the camera picked up a dialogue. . .
"Hey, Daffy. . .?" Bugs asked.
"Yeah?" Daffy responded.
"Thank you for everything. . ." Bugs said, with emotion. ". . .I'm happy we buried the hatchet."
". . .I am too, Bugs. . .you're welcome." Daffy said, just before the two shared a hug of their own, one of respect. The two then released the embrace before walking down the hallway again until the show faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and back up to Daffy in the dark room.
"You idiots just saw never-before-seen footage. . .you saw-you know what, ROLL IT AGAIN!" demanded Daffy, before the show faded to black. . .
. . .and played the clip again.
"Thank you for everything. . ." Bugs said, with emotion. ". . .I'm happy we buried the hatchet."
". . .I am too, Bugs. . .you're welcome." Daffy said, just before the two shared a hug of their own, one of respect. The two then released the embrace as the show faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and back up to Daffy in the dark room.
"Alright. ONCE MORE. . .for MEMORY." declared Daffy, before the show faded to black. . .
. . .and the clip replayed.
"Thank you for everything. . ." Bugs said, with emotion. ". . .I'm happy we buried the hatchet."
The clip then faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and back up on Daffy in the dark room.
"You see, that was history in the making. . .because NOT ONLY did that take place on the Flame after Final Clash 1996, where Bugs and I finally settled our differences and buried the hatchet. . .but it was ALSO the first and ONLY time Bugs Bunny said 'Thank you' to me. . .for ANYTHING. The ONE time. And you just saw it, straight from the vaults of UCA! Special thanks go to you, Forcey. . .but as for YOU, Bugs. . .thanks for NOTHIN', you HYPOCRITE. In the thirty years before that moment, you always made everything about yourself, whether it was in the NWA, the WWWF or UCA. But then that night. . .that VERY night, April 8th, 1996, came along, and then for the first time, FOR THE FIRST TIME. . .we were equals. We spent almost two decades together trading stories about the good ol' days, givin' Elmer hell. . .you even considered me a friend of the family you and Lola have. But then. . .Space Ghost called you with an offer, and then you became the man you ALWAYS were. A showboat. A glory hog. A SELF-INDULGENT, SELF-ABSORBED SNOB. And when you signed to this company, Bugs, you hurt me. You betrayed my trust. . .and you dug up our hatchet. With you being the egomaniac you are, Bugs, I'm sure you didn't think twice about it, but it bothered ME. It HURT ME. It rocked me to the CORE. And I thought back to that night, April 8th, 1996, the night you said 'Thank you' to me. . .and I realized you weren't saying, 'Thank you'. . .
. . .
. . .but 'SCREW YOU'. Yeah. THAT'S what you said. "SCREW YOU, DAFFY." You weren't thanking me for letting go of a grudge, or for a thirty-year career, or for finally being your friend. . .you just wanted to have the upper, moral hand in that moment. JUST LIKE YOU DO IN THE RING, IN ENTERTAINMENT, TO THE PRESS, AND IN EVERY ASPECT OF OUR LIVES. . .so I followed you here. . .to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. I continued to be your friend. . .but then I knew that deja vu was going to rear its ugly head. . .and then I got the upper hand. Yes, Bugsy. . .I have the upper hand on you, as the Strategist of the Knighthood. I have the backing of the most terrifying warriors of XCW, but they won't be there when our match begins this Sunday. . .because I have TOO much I wanna do to you MYSELF to let anybody else get in the way. . .and I know every move in your book like the back of my hand. Our match at Abolishment is gonna be one for the history books for a multitude of reasons. . .it's gonna be the most brutal match of our almost 50-year rivalry. . .it's gonna be our first match in 22 years. . .and it'll be the match where the whole world watches you say, "I QUIT." I'm gonna tear you limb from limb with Honor Among Assassins, I'm gonna beat you until you vomit your guts out, and I'm gonna break the hearts of everyone you love. . .JUST LIKE YOU DID TO ME. I'd like to say I'm sorry for killing you this Sunday, Bugs, because I truly will be. . .but what I WON'T be sorry for. . .is your rebirth. . .as an ASSASSIN OF THE KNIGHTHOOD. Because once you're in the Knighthood, you're going to be MY foil. . .MY co-star. . .MY understudy. . .in MORE ways than one. And after you say 'I Quit' this Sunday, Bugs. . .
. . .
. . .I'm gonna look down at you. . .and say. . .
. . .
. . .THANK YOU."
The promo ended on a closeup shot of Daffy starting incensed with rage into the camera until the show faded to a commercial break.
As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mario was still running through a parking garage with a pissed-off look on his face.
"ARTHUR!" Mario screamed. "WHERE ARE A-YOU, YOU INGRATE? YOU MUST A-PAY FOR WHAT YOU A-DID TO MY BROTHER!"
". . .GO NO FURTHER, MARIO."
The Champion of Life then turned around in the direction of the voice which said that. . .
. . .
. . .and saw that it belonged to SMOKEY THE BEAR.
"If it wasn't for you. . .Luigi would a-still be here!" Mario accused, pointing at Smokey. "Did you REALLY come a-back to wrestling to align with the likes of the ROOKIE REVOLUTION? THEY WANT LEGENDS LIKE US A-GONE!"
". . .it's not about us for me, Mario. . ." Smokey replied, ". . .it's about standing up for the animals."
Mario blinked twice upon hearing this revelation.
". . .Arthur, Mordecai and Rigby have been abused by humans like your brother ever since they came to this company. I was meant to protect the environment. . .and he only wants to do the same through his lessons. If you don't understand them now. . .you will on Sunday."
"But-a-Smokey-" Mario stammered, only for Smokey to continue,
". . .only YOU can dictate what happens next, Mario. . ." Smokey stated, ". . .or else HE will do it FOR YOU."
All of a sudden, Mario was trapped in a waist-lock. . .
. . .
. . .AND THEN GERMAN SUPLEXED AGAINST A CONCRETE SUPPORT BEAM BY ARTHUR READ! The Champion of Life crumbled to the concrete street, clenching his back and head in pain as Arthur stood over him, tauntingly and triumphantly.
"You'll learn the ultimate lesson of RESPECT at Abolishment, Mario. . .whether it's in the ring. . ." Arthur declared, ". . .or right next to your brother. This Sunday, for him and the whole world to see. . .the Revolution. . .WILL BE TELEVISED!"
Arthur and Smokey then stepped away from the scene, leaving Mario writhing on the concrete floor, clenching his ribs in pain until the show transitioned back to the arena, where nobody stood in the ring. . .
. . .
. . .until. . .
. . .
"IT'S ROLF! (It's Rolf!)"
X-Pac's DX theme played to cheers from the crowd as Rolf stepped onto the stage with a determined look on his face, then did the DX crotch chop three times, with pyro going off in unison each time. Once the pyro settled, the Son of a Shepherd strode down the ramp.
"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .'The Son of a Shepherd'. . .ROLF!"
Once Rolf made it to the foot of the ramp, he leapt onto the ring apron, then a top turnbuckle, and posed toward the fans, holding the XCW Hardcore Championship title high above his head.
Rolf stepped off the ring apron and motioned for a microphone, which he quickly received before stepping into the center of the ring. His music soon faded so he could hear all the cheers from the crowd, and even chants of, "ROLF! ROLF! ROLF!" The Son of a Shepherd was happy to hear them, but he couldn't let that faze him, because from the stern look on his face, he had something on his mind. . .
"Rolf is grateful to be back in an XCW arena with the likes of you all. . .but there is immediate business the likes of which the Son of a Shepherd must attend to!" Rolf said to the crowd. "You see, Rolf has not competed in an XCW ring ever since winning his beloved piece of broken and bloodstained jewelry. . .thanks to one swindler Ramsay Bolton. . ."
The crowd booed upon mention of Ramsay's name.
". . .Rolf has watched Ramsay Bolton ever since that fateful night. . .and while it is clear that the Bastard of Bolton is indeed an intimidating figure. . .he is in for the beating of a lifetime should he try to attack the Son of a Shepherd yet AGAIN!" Rolf assured. "The proverbial bear has been poked harder than he has been poked before. . .and when he has been through aggravating pain, he fights with the fury of a THOUSAND BEARS, of which their strength COURSES THROUGH THE MIND AND BODY OF THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!"
The crowd cheered upon hearing Rolf's determination and excitement.
".And with such adrenaline and power. . .comes the desire for COMPETITION. Rolf requires a tune-up match in preparation for his inevitable battle against Ramsay Bolton. . .so right here, right now, Rolf is issuing. . .AN OPEN CHALLENGE FOR HIS HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP. . .AND IT SHALL TAKE PLACE. . .
. . .
. . .RIGHT HERE. . .
. . .
. . .AND RIGHT NOW!"
The crowd EXPLODED with cheers upon hearing Rolf's announcement.
"WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Frylock exclaimed.
"IS THIS KID INSANE?" Shake shouted.
"Rolf does not CARE who he fights tonight. . .should anyone wish to challenge him for his shattered, yet prestigious glory, show yourself, and bring EVERYTHING YOU HAVE, for Rolf will do the same, and is CRAVING competition like his Nana craved trout strudel when she was expecting! LET'S HAVE A MATCH, I SAY!"
Rolf raised his hands in fisticuffs, strafing to the left and right in the center of the ring, eagerly awaiting his opponent.
"Well, Shake, I certainly didn't expect THIS to take place tonight, but for the first time in weeks, we're about to see a Hardcore Championship defense from the Son of a Shepherd, Rolf!" Frylock declared.
"Yeah, and we're about to see this kid go into the loony bin for these delusions!" Shake snapped. "Rolf's asking to get his ass handed to him tonight, regardless of who answers his challenge!"
Rolf stayed in his stance in the center of the ring. . .
. . .
. . .until pyro went off on the stage. . .
. . .
. . .along with "No Mercy" by Pharaoh Monche, which popped the crowd. . .
. . .
. . .BECAUSE CLAUDE SPEED STEPPED ONTO THE STAGE WITH HIS BARBED-WIRE 2x4 IN HAND!
"OH MY GOD! CLAUDE SPEED HAS ANSWERED ROLF'S OPEN CHALLENGE!" Frylock screamed. "THE FIRST-EVER AND FORMER SIX-TIME XCW HARDCORE CHAMPION WANTS TO FIGHT WHO'S HOLDING THE BELT HE MADE FAMOUS!"
Claude then entered the ring through the second rope and climbed onto the second turnbuckle, raising the Toon Hardcore title belt and the XCW Television Championship belt above his head toward the fans.
"WHAT DID I TELL YA?" Shake yelled. "Rolf's not only a dumb man, he's a DEAD man once that bell rings! But on top of that, Bugs ain't the only glory hog in this company. . .Claude's been dealing with the Bohan Badasses in recent weeks, he doesn't need to fight for the Hardcore Championship here tonight! He just took some rising star's spot without a care in the goddamn world! I hope BOTH of these idiots somehow break each other's limbs tonight so I don't have to LOOK AT 'EM on my monitor anymore!"
Claude stepped off the turnbuckle and came face-to-face with Rolf, who he became engaged in a staredown with in the center of the ring as the crowd chanted, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
"The fans can't wait to see the first-ever XCW Hardcore Champion take on the FWA-winning Son of a Shepherd. . .what's gonna happen when Claude takes on Rolf?" Frylock foreboded. . .
. . .
. . .as the bell rang and the match began, upon which, Claude IMMEDIATELY swung for Rolf's face with his barbed-wire 2x4. . .
. . .BUT ROLF DUCKED UNDERNEATH IT AND SWEPT CLAUDE'S LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM WITH A DROP TOE HOLD! Rolf then took Claude's trusty 2x4 and slid out of the ring under the bottom rope with it before searching underneath the ring apron for a weapon, and pulled out two steel chairs, a baking sheet, a stop sign, and a toaster. . .
. . .but Claude Speed was quick to baseball slide Rolf in the face, sending him backpedaling into the announcer's table behind him! Claude then picked up the toaster that Rolf left on the floor. . .
. . .
. . .AND CHUCKED IT TOWARD ROLF, NAILING HIM RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES AND SENDING HIM OVER THE ANNOUNCER'S TABLE!
"GOOD GRIEF!" Frylock screamed. "Claude Speed is already showing us in the early goings that he hasn't lost a step when it comes to fighting with weaponry. . .does Rolf have a plan in mind?"
"I doubt it, Frylock!" Shake proposed. "He just walked out here and made an open challenge! He didn't expect Liberty City's Lucifer to answer it-GET OUTTA HERE, ROLF! DON'T GET YOUR BLOOD ALL OVER ME!"
Claude then looked over at the other side of the announcer's table, only to get an uppercut for his troubles, before Rolf came to a full standing position, revealing that the impact had busted his forehead open! The Son of a Shepherd then gripped Claude's head in a headlock, then climbed onto the arms of both Frylock AND Shake's chair. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE LEAPING OFF AND DROPPING CLAUDE HEAD-FIRST ONTO THE RINGSIDE FLOOR WITH A JUMPING TORNADO DDT!
"THIS HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH IS INSANE, AND WE'RE ONLY JUST TWO MINUTES INTO IT!" Frylock called. "Who will walk into Abolishment as the XCW Hardcore Champion?"
"Hell if I care." Shake responded. "I just wanna see these people kill themselves trying to win!"
Claude and Rolf stayed on the ringside floor, trying to catch their breath as the crowd chanted, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"
*skip to end*
Both men had been through hell in this match. . .they were bleeding, broken and bruised, but Rolf was taking everything Claude handed to him like the champion he was, even when the match had taken itself all the way to the stage, where they still were. Even now, Rolf had Claude reeling against the edge of the stage. The Son of a Shepherd was rotating his arm against the wall of the stage, building anticipation for the Clothesline From The Old Country. . .
. . .
. . .before charging toward him. . .
. . .
. . .BUT CLAUDE STOPPED HIM IN HIS TRACKS WITH A POWERFUL SPEAR!
"BAH GAWD SHAKE!" Frylock screamed. "THAT MAY HAVE BROKEN ROLF SMACK DAB IN HALF!"
"BOOOOOORING." Shake jeered. "Can one or both of these guys just die already?"
Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .ROLF KICKED OUT! Claude couldn't believe it!
"This match has been no holds barred, falls count anywhere, and Claude and Rolf haven't left the sight of these people, who are having a ball watching this unexpected matchup!" Frylock called. "Who will be the XCW Hardcore Champion going into Abolishment?"
Claude then pulled Rolf up by the hair and willed himself up to a standing position before dragging him down the ramp on their way back to the ring. Once they got midway down the ramp, Liberty City's Lucifer then threw Rolf down the ramp until he landed against the ring apron. Claude then picked up his barbed-wire 2x4 and charged toward Rolf with it reared back. . .
. . .but then Rolf spun out of the way, causing Claude to whiff on his 2x4 strike, and hit the apron chest-first! The Son of a Shepherd then grabbed Claude by the hair and drove him face-first into the ring apron before dropping him with a Russian leg sweep onto the floor! Rolf went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .CLAUDE KICKED OUT! Rolf rose up to his knees and shrieked with anger!
"What the hell did Rolf just do?" Shake wondered. "Did he conjure a demon?"
"The Son of a Shepherd finds himself getting frustrated in this Hardcore Championship match. . ." Frylock called, ". . .what does he have to do to put Claude Speed away?"
"Easy." Shake replied, "Be Space Ghost's golden boy."
Rolf pulled Claude up by the collar of his jacket and Irish whipped him into the steel steps. . .only for Claude to counter it with an Irish whip of his own that caused Rolf to collide into the steel steps with a sickening thud! Claude then stepped toward the steel steps behind him and took the top half of the steps off. . .
. . .
. . .before charging forward. . .
. . .
. . .AND SANDWICHING ROLF IN BETWEEN BOTH SETS OF STEEL STEPS!
"THAT'S IT! HIS BODY IS CRUSHED!" Shake exclaimed. "ROLF IS MORE DEAD THAN KENNY MCCORMICK!"
Claude then pulled Rolf up by the hair and the Son of a Shepherd tried to retaliate with a desperation right hand. . .but Claude caught it and hit Rolf with a three-punch combination that sent Rolf reeling against the ring post. Liberty City's Lucifer then caught Rolf before dropping him with a Northern Lights Suplex onto the ring apron!
"THAT'S THE HARDEST PART OF THE RING!" Shake quipped.
"Yes, Shake. . .it is." Frylock deadpanned, as Rolf screamed in agonizing pain from the impact until Claude rolled him back into the ring. But Liberty City's Lucifer climbed onto the ring apron. . .
. . .
. . .then onto the top rope with an exposed turnbuckle!
"Uh-oh. . .Claude Speed's looking to go high risk!" Frylock called. "Will it pay off?"
Claude sized Rolf up as he waited for the Son of a Shepherd to rise to his feet. . .
. . .
. . .before leaping off. . .
. . .
. . .AND TAKING ROLF DOWN WITH A DIVING ELBOW SMASH!
"AND IT DOES!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL CLAUDE WIN THE HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP FOR A SEVENTH TIME?"
Claude went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 ROLF KICKED OUT! CLAUDE PUNCHED THE MAT IN FRUSTRATION!
"Claude's experience in hardcore wrestling has gotten him all kinds of near-falls, but Rolf has delivered on his promise to bring resilency to his next challenger!" Frylock called. "Will Rolf prevail?"
Claude then willed himself up to a standing position and set up six steel chairs in the center of the ring before pulling Rolf up by the hair. . .and drug him toward the nearby corner. . .
. . .
. . .before pulling him up to the top rope!
"Uh-oh. . .Claude's got Rolf in a precarious position for a potentially long and painful fall!" Frylock foreboded, as Claude had Rolf in a fireman's carry on the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .but Rolf fell out of it, and swept Claude's legs out from under him, CROTCHING him onto the exposed turnbuckle!
"OOOOOOOOOOOH!" Shake cringed. "Claude and Jessica ain't having kids any time soon!"
Liberty City's Lucifer cried in agonizing pain from the impact, completely unaware that the Son of a Shepherd was stepping onto the top rope behind him. . .
. . .
. . .and then lifted him up. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM ONTO THE EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE WITH A FALLING BACKBREAKER! Claude fell onto the mat below face-first, clenching his lower back in agonizing pain!
"THAT EXPOSED TURNBUCKLE MAY HAVE DESTROYED CLAUDE'S LOWER BACK, AND HIS HOPES OF REGAINING THE HARDCORE TITLE!" Frylock screamed, as Rolf was quick to go for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .CLAUDE KICKED OUT! Rolf rose up to his knees from the cover, absolutely exasperated!
"That was a hell of an offensive maneuver from the XCW Hardcore Champion, but it's still gonna take more than that to put Claude Speed away!" Frylock called.
Rolf's attention then turned toward the six steel chairs that Claude set up in the center of the ring, then he stood up and moved one of them around before turning back to Liberty City's Lucifer, who at this point was up to his knees. Rolf waited for Claude to turn toward him before dropping him with a Jawbreaker. . .
. . .
. . .that sent him reeling into a seated position in the folded out steel chair! The Son of a Shepherd then ran against the ropes behind him. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN AND DESTROYED THE STEEL CHAIR UNDERNEATH HIM WITH A LEAPING METEORA!
"THOSE DOUBLE KNEES MAY HAVE CRUSHED CLAUDE INTO THAT SHATTERED STEEL!" Frylock screamed. "IS THAT ALL SHE WROTE?"
Rolf slid the remains of the chair out from under Claude and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 CLAUDE KICKED OUT! Rolf rolled out of the cover, and immediately pulled himself toward the ropes while Claude did the same thing on the opposite side of the ring.
"These two men are fighting like hell for the XCW Hardcore title!" Frylock declared. "Who's gonna gain the upper hand in this battle between these two hardcore mainstays?"
"Like I give a damn." Shake deadpanned. "I just wanna see someone die in the ring when I'm alive."
Rolf and Claude made it up to a standing position on opposite sides of the ring and charged toward each other. . .
. . .
. . .with Rolf rearing back for the Clothesline From The Old Country. . .
. . .
. . .BUT BEFORE HE COULD GO FOR IT, CLAUDE TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A LOU THESZ PRESS AND HAMMERED AWAY AT HIS FACE WITH THUNDEROUS PUNCHES TO A POP FROM THE CROWD. . .
. . .
. . .which-started to turn to boos. . .?
"CLAUDE SPEED IS BACK IN THIS MATCH WITH HIS TRADEMARK RIGHT HANDS!" Frylock shouted. "LIBERTY CITY'S LUCIFER IS ABOUT TO-WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!"
Claude got up from the Lou Thesz Press. . .
. . .
. . .AND WAS IMMEDIATELY AMBUSHED BY CJ JOHNSON AND NIKO BELLIC, AS BRUCIE DIRECTED THEM FROM THE FOOT OF THE RAMP!
"THE BOHAN BADASSES! WHAT A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES!" Shake said, as CJ and Niko were both stomping a mudhole into Claude Speed to MASSIVE boos from the crowd.
"THEY'RE ACTING UNDER THE MARCHING ORDERS OF THEIR MANAGER BRUCIE!" Frylock screamed. "NIKO BEAT CLAUDE BY THE SKIN OF HIS TEETH TWO WEEKS AGO! THIS IS ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY!"
"IT'S TOTALLY NECESSARY, FRYLOCK!" Shake insisted. "THEY WANT TO TELL THESE IDIOTS STRAIGHT UP THAT THEY'RE THE BEST TAG TEAM IN XCW!"
"The Bohan Badasses and Brucie are having a field day-BUT-WHAT?!"
CJ and Niko pulled Claude up and set him on their shoulders, as they were about to drop him with Thug Life (The Magic Killer), to gleeful delight from Brucie. . .
. . .
. . .who suddenly felt his underwear stretch over his head. . .
. . .
. . .AND THE CROWD EXPLODED UPON SEEING THE MASK AT THE HAND OF BRUCIE'S WEDGIE!
"THE MASK! THE MASK IS COMING TO THE AID OF HIS TAG TEAM PARTNER!" Frylock exclaimed, as The Mask tossed Brucie head-first into the steel steps before running into the ring and taking CJ and Niko down with a double clothesline, while Claude landed groggily on his own two feet! The Mask then bounced off the ropes in front of him before taking them back down with another double clothesline! The Mask then turned around and started brawling with CJ while Claude came back into the fray, throwing punches at Niko! Meanwhile, Rolf had collected himself in a nearby corner, and was about to regain his bearings. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL RAMSAY BOLTON CAME UP TO HIM FROM BEHIND AND STARTED CHOKING HIM WITH THE HANDLE OF A SLEDGEHAMMER BEHIND HIS CORNER!
"OH MY GOD! NOW RAMSAY BOLTON HAS INSERTED HIMSELF INTO THIS CHAOS!" Frylock screamed. "AND HE'S LOOKING TO KNOCK OUT ROLF ONCE AGAIN!"
"DO IT, RAMSAY!" Shake implored. "CUT OFF HIS AIR UNTIL HE CAN NO LONGER BREATHE!"
Rolf thrashed and gasped for air but to no avail, as Ramsay only tightened the hold!
"THE TITLE IS ON THE LINE!" reminded Frylock. "THE XCW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP IS ANYBODY'S GAME IN THE MIDST OF ALL THIS ANARCHY!"
"AND THERE'S NOTHING THE REFEREE CAN DO!" added Shake. "THERE'S NO DISQUALIFICATION!"
Rolf was about to fade into unconsciousness. . .
. . .
. . .but meanwhile, The Mask was stomping CJ in one corner, and Claude had pummeled Niko into a seated position into the other corner! Liberty City's Lucifer then took another chair from the mat and set it against Niko in the corner before stepping against The Mask. . .
. . .
. . .then charging forward. . .
. . .
. . .AND DRIVING THE STEEL CHAIR INTO NIKO WITH A RUNNING KNEE! Meanwhile, The Mask pulled CJ out of the corner. . .
. . .
. . .Irish whipped him across the ring. . .
. . .
. . .AND KNOCKED HIM INTO ROLF'S CORNER, CAUSING RAMSAY TO BE KNOCKED OFF THE RING APRON!
"LEAVE IT TO "THE MASK" STANLEY IPKISS TO TAKE YOU OUT OF HARM'S WAY!" Frylock screamed, as Rolf charged toward CJ. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH THE CLOTHESLINE FROM THE OLD COUNTRY!
"ROLF SPUN THAT JOHNSON LIKE A RECORD WITH HIS COC!" Shake exclaimed, to barely contained snickers from Frylock, while Claude was repeatedly stomping the chair into Niko's body. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL BRUCIE SWEPT CLAUDE'S FEET OUT FROM UNDER HIM AND PULLED HIM OUT OF THE RING! Meanwhile, as Rolf was on his hands and knees trying to regain his breath, CJ hit The Mask with a three-punch combination before Irish whipping him across the ring and went for a bicycle kick when he bounced back. . .
. . .
. . .but The Mask CAUGHT CJ's leg! The Mask then gave CJ a finger wag and said, "Ah-ah-ah. . .
. . .that's MY tag partner's move,"
. . .BEFORE NAILING HIM WITH A LOW BLOW AND SETTING HIM IN A FIREMAN'S CARRY POSITION!
"THE MASK IS LAYING DOWN THE LAW ON CJ JOHNSON!" Frylock called, as he ran toward the chaos going on at the foot of the ramp. . .
. . .
. . .AND RAN THROUGH THE ROPES TO TAKE CJ DOWN ON THE CONCRETE WITH THE EDGE CITY PLUNGE!
"DEAR GOD!" Frylock exclaimed. "THE MASK AND CLAUDE ARE LAYING WASTE TO CJ AND BRUCIE ON THE OUTSIDE!"
"BUT LOOK AT NIKO, FRYLOCK!" Shake observed. "HE'S THE ONLY ONE WITH ANY INTEREST IN GOING FOR THE HARDCORE TITLE!"
Indeed, Niko was staring down Rolf, who was struggling to regain his bearings and catch his breath following the surprise attack from Ramsay. Niko then charged toward Rolf. . .
. . .
. . .and nailed him in the back of the head with a boot before running into the opposite corner. . .then ran out of it to nail him in the forehead with another kick! Rolf began to grow more and more dazed as he staggered back up to his knees. . .
. . .
. . .AND RECEIVED A THIRD AND FINAL BOOT TO THE FACE FROM NIKO THAT KNOCKED HIM ONTO HIS BACK!
"THAT TRIFECTA OF RUNNING KNEES MAY HAVE ENDED ROLF'S HARDCORE TITLE REIGN BEFORE IT COULD BEGIN!" Frylock screamed, "AND NIKO'S GOING FOR THE COVER!"
"THE 24/7 RULE IS IN EFFECT!" Shake added, as Niko hooked the leg for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.9999999999999999999 RAMSAY BROKE UP THE COUNT WITH A SLEDGEHAMMER SHOT TO NIKO'S BACK!
"NOOOOOO!" Frylock screamed. "RAMSAY'S BACK IN PLAY!"
"COME ON, RAMSAY! KILL ONE OF THESE DRILLBITS LIKE I KNOW YOU CAN!" Shake cheered, as Niko winced in pain from the impact on his back. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL RAMSAY THREW NIKO OVER THE TOP ROPE AND INTO THE CHAOS OUTSIDE THE RING!
"RAMSAY WANTS THE SON OF A SHEPHERD ALL TO HIMSELF!" Frylock declared, as Ramsay shouted, "GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! THAT BELT IS MINE! AND MINE ALONE!"
Ramsay then turned around-
-AND WAS IMMEDIATELY CLOTHESLINED OVER THE TOP ROPE AND INTO THE BRAWL ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE RING BY ROLF!
"THAT'S NOW TWO MEN WHO HAVE FELT THE MASSIVE POWER OF ROLF'S COC!" Shake yelled, to MORE snickering from Frylock. . .
. . .
. . .while the Son of a Shepherd observed the cluster of six men near the foot of the ramp. . .
". . .NOW what's going through the mind of Rolf. . .?" Frylock wondered, as Rolf looked up at the ceiling and prayed under his breath, "Please ask Rolf's family and livestock to remember the Son of a Shepherd. . ."
. . .
. . .before running against the ropes behind him. . .
. . .
. . .AND LEAPT OVER THE TOP ROPE ON THE BOUNCEBACK. . .
. . .
. . .TO TAKE DOWN ALL SIX MEN WITH A SUICIDE MOONSAULT SENTON!
"BAH GAWD! BAH GAWD ROLF JUST TOOK OUT ALL SIX MEN NOW INVOLVED IN THIS MATCH WITH ONE BLOW!" Frylock screamed, as the crowd exploded into chants of, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"
"THIS ARENA HAS COME UNGLUED FOR THE SON OF A SHEPHERD!" Frylock called, as Rolf weakly crawled on top of Claude for the cover! 1. . .
"AND THE SON OF A SHEPHERD. . ."
. . .
2. . .
. . .
". . .FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THIS REIGN. . ."
. . .
. . .3!
". . .SUCCESSFULLY DEFENDS THE XCW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP!" finished Frylock, as the crowd exploded with more cheers after the bell rang and Rolf looked up to the ceiling and screamed, "THANK YOU!" before crawling toward the barricade with what he had left after the bell rang!
"The winner of this match. . .AND STILL. . .the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion. . .'THE SON OF A SHEPHERD'. . .ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLF!"
The referee raised Rolf's arm in victory after helping him make it to a standing position, and handed him his Hardcore Championship belt, upon which, the Son of a Shepherd powerwalked up the ramp to the best of his ability.
"Well, ladies and gentlemen what started out as a fantastic one-on-one hardcore match between Claude Speed and Rolf devolved quickly into chaos once the Bohan Badasses got involved!" Frylock declared. "But in a match for the XCW Hardcore Championship, where the 24/7 rule is never not in effect, chaos reigns supreme, and with a little bit of luck, and a LOT of will and determination, despite interference from his newest adversary Ramsay Bolton, 'The Son of a Shepherd' Rolf is still walking into Abolishment as the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Hardcore Champion!"
Rolf looked back at the six men struggling to pull themselves up to their feet, staring RIGHT into Ramsay's eyes so he could raise the Hardcore title high above his head and shout, "ROLF IS THE SON OF A SHEPHERD! ROLF IS HARDCORE CHAMPION!" before running to the backstage area.
"A little bit of luck is a friggin' UNDERSTATEMENT, Frylock." Shake declared. "If it wasn't for that idiot jester The Mask, Rolf's throat would be in a billion pieces right now, and if it wasn't for Niko, that Hardcore title wouldn't be around Rolf's waist anymore! Then again, I don't blame the Bohan Badasses for getting themselves involved in this match ONE BIT! Because while Niko got the win against Claude two weeks ago, what they want even more is to beat Claude and The Mask in tag team competition! It ain't over until they say it's over, and Ramsay Bolton sent the same message by getting involved here tonight. He's watching Rolf, and he won't stop until he gets what he wants. . ."
Ramsay Bolton looked up the ramp at the now-empty stage with a sadistic grin until the show cut to the announcer's table, where Frylock and Shake were continuing their conversation.
"Hell, from the look on his face, Rolf probably hasn't seen the LAST of Ramsay Goddamn Bolton!" Shake added.
"Unfortunately, Shake, I think you're right. . ." Frylock foreboded, ". . .but nevertheless, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a hell of a night here in Dimmsdale, California, but in two weeks time, Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling will be holding its first-ever all-women's pay-per-view event, Equal Pain, where the main event will see the XCW Women's Champion, whether it's Sora Takenouchi or Casey Lynch-"
"-Casey." interrupted Shake. "It's GONNA be Casey."
Frylock rolled his eyes. "-regardless, the XCW Women's Champion will put her belt on the line against 'The Original Avenger' Wasp, we will crown our first-ever XCW Women's Tag Team Champions, and you will see a slew of newly signed female talents to our main roster. One of them is someone who made a quiet debut two weeks ago, but has the utmost intention to make sure she stays forever remembered as one of the most premiere and unique female talents this business has to offer. So Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling would like to give you A Closer Look at 'The Forgotten Princess'. . .Princess Eilonwy!"
Frylock and Shake were looking into the camera as the show faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and stayed there as Eilonwy's young, British voice began to speak:
"Even for a princess. . .a forgotten life is a lonely life. . ."
But then, with a shimmering sound effect, a bright, golden bauble lights up, revealing a wide, vast, but dilapidated landscape of the Kingdom of Prydain.
"It's been said a lot of us must have three things to be one. . ." said Eilonwy's voiceover, as her slender figure steps into frame, and saunters down the cobbled streets of Prydain in the direction of her bauble.
". . .long, flowing hair. . ." she said, as the promo cut to a shot of Eilonwy from behind, as her thick, hip-length blonde locks bounced off her shoulders with every step.
". . .a non-human sidekick. . ."
The bauble shimmered another beautiful sound before speeding further down the road, leading Eilonwy into a wooded forest.
". . .and an indelible song."
Eilonwy then caught up with her bauble and trekked through the forest, stepping over branches and puddles as the Fairfolk ahead of her light the way, in a variety of beautiful colors.
"Well, I never had much of a singing voice. . ." Eilonwy said, as she passed ". . .but alas, the other princesses wouldn't dare step foot in a kingdom as dreary as Prydain. . .then again, they don't even know it exists. . .
. . .
. . .or that. . .I exist. . ."
The Fairfolk then took cover behind the forestry around them, as the sky slowly began to turn from darkness to dawn.
"The circumstances for my presence being unwanted are sadly beyond my control. . ." she said, as the promo cut to newspaper headlines that read, "The Black Cauldron: A Major Disappointment" and "Black Cauldron Is A Disney Vault Dust Collector"
". . but soon, all that is going to change. . .and it starts in fiction wrestling." she said, as sunlight began to filter between the trees of the forest, and a smile curled up onto Eilonwy's face.
"Every girl longs to be Women's Champion. . ." said Eilonwy, ". . .but I'll be that in due time. My destiny, though. . is to stand with my sisters as a Disney princess. . .and as a member of Disnevolution."
Eilonwy then ran toward a faraway clearing in the forest, as she saw the sunlight appear at the end of it.
"They may boast everybody's favorite princesses. . ." she admitted, as the promo began to play footage of Eilonwy's wrestling career in JOSHI, starting with her stepping down the JOSHI ramp with Amanda Payne. ". . .but wrestling is no popularity contest. I've shown just as much determination and passion for fighting as they have. . .and I have all the talent in the world to back it up!"
The promo played footage that saw Eilonwy pummeling Zelda in the corner with thunderous punches and strikes, dropping Lopunny on her head with The Spinning Llyr, and taking down Honey Kisaragi with a double spear with Amanda Payne, with the montage ending with Eilonwy and Amanda Payne holding the Queens of JOSHI titles high above their heads, then embracing in the center of the ring in celebration.
"I may be alone in arriving to Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .but they didn't just draft me to their roster. . .
. . .they accepted me for who I am."
The music then swelled as Eilonwy burst out of the forest, leaping forward in exhilaration upon finding a meadow of beautiful flowers underneath the bright blue sky.
"Every princess has an unforgettable story. . .
. . .
. . .and it's in XCW where mine begins."
A montage played of various angles of Eilonwy dancing in the meadow, along with various matches of her in Liberty City Wrestling, including bouts where she scored victories against Wendy Corduroy, Regan MacNeil, and even Princess Jasmine.
"Once upon a time. . .there was a forgotten princess. . .
. . .longing to be remembered. . ."
Eilonwy eventually came to a stop and turned around, smiling in the direction of the camera.
". . .I am Princess Eilonwy. . .from the Kingdom of Prydain."
She continued looking into the camera with a confident, happy smile until the promo ended with a sharp cut to black, sending Monday Night Massacre to a commercial break.
Alright, there's part two! I hope it was worth the wait! As always, let me know what you think of my booking, and if my storylines and/or characters are inconsistent anywhere. The conclusion to this go-home episode before Abolishment will come soon, until then, please READ, REACT AND REEEEEEEEEEVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
