Hey fans! Hope everyone is hanging in there while we're all working to flatten the curve against COVID-19. I'm as scared as you are, but we're all in this together, and I remain optimistic we'll make it through this pandemic one way or the other. I hope this final chapter of the go-home episode of XCW Monday Night Massacre entertains you well in these times! I only own my championships.
As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Mimi Tachikawa stood next to Wasp with a microphone in hand.
"Wasp, before the break, Eilonwy just told us her endearing story, between her goals and your comeback, do you see Equal Pain being a night of triumph for XCW's women's division, and who do you see leaving Abolishment this Sunday as the Women's Champion?"
"Sure do, Mimi. . ." Wasp replied, ". . .because let me tell you something, when this company began, this division was centered around two women: Sora and Peach. Sora's the Ace of Women's Wrestling and Peach has had a storied career in her own right, granted, but beneath them. . .there was NO ONE. But then there was this huge influx of talent that came into the company, and the focus was still on the legend of Sora. . .but the spotlight was being shone on us, as well. Yuna battled her way back to the main roster in a tournament, Casey Lynch has come into her own, Eilonwy, as you said, has a great story, we're getting women's tag titles. . .and I am SO thankful to be here with them for this moment. Because around two decades ago. . .I suffered a very serious and well-publicized neck injury. For the longest time. . .I was told I could never wrestle again. . .and I lived by that. But with companies like this, UCA, UWE and CCW innovating this industry in ways never thought possible, I longed to be a part of that innovation. So after a couple more surgeries, I got into the best shape of my life. . .and I was cleared to begin my comeback tour. There were some twists and turns along the way, but to be signed to a company that's become a haven for wrestles of old to reinvent themselves was a perfect fit. So for those reasons, Equal Pain won't just be a night of triumph for the entire women's division and how far it's come. . .it will be a night of triumph for me, because it's there my comeback will come to fruition! Because I don't care who goes into Equal Pain as the XCW Women's Champion, because I have worked too hard to get back to where I was in the days of WCW, and have been through too much to allow defeat in the biggest match of my comeback to date! Sora and Casey are guaranteed to put on a clinic this Sunday. . .but their victory at Abolishment will be short lived. . .because the winner will see a WASP in two weeks time. . .
. . .
. . .and that night, this wasp regains its wings."
Wasp then looked into the camera with a confident, determined smile until the show transitioned back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following contest is an eight-man tag team match scheduled for one fall!"
"Red Lottery" by Megasus played to massive boos from the crowd as the arena was engulfed in red light, and Hotsuma, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake stepped onto the stage and down the ramp, their eyes focused on nothing but the ring.
"Introducing first. . .the team of Solid Snake. . .Sweet Tooth. . . . .and 'The Knighthood Leader' Hotsuma. . .THE KNIGHTHOOD. . .OOOOOOOOOF ASSASSIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINS!"
"The Knighthood of Assassins have changed the complexion of Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling since their fateful debut on the night XCW's New Era began. . ." Frylock informed, ". . .they've claimed the XCW Tag Team Championships and the Hardcore title on more than one occassion, have laid waste to several superstars outside the ring, and made the Animation Icon's life a living hell with their mind games. . .but this Sunday sees the entire Knighthood up against all the rivals they've gained in the history of this company, and then some!"
Hotsuma, Snake and Sweet Tooth entered the ring above the second rope and scanned the arena in different corners, glaring at the fans with a look of apathy.
"They fight the South Park Four and Ren and Stimpy in the first-ever Abolishment elimination tag team match, Scorpion and Sub-Zero fight The Wild Dudes in a No-Disqualification match, AND their Strategist, Daffy Duck, fights The Animation Icon in an I Quit match?!" Shake asked, incredulously. "The Knighthood have rolled through XCW if the wheel from The Price Is Right broke off and ran over its audience! If they don't put all their enemies out of their misery this Sunday, they're NEVER gonna get away from 'em!"
Hotsuma, Snake and Sweet Tooth stood in their corner, looking up the ramp with anticipation. . .
. . .until a siren went off, causing the fans to explode into a frenzy of cheers! The siren continued to ring on the Titantron until the crowd chanted in unison to the next two words to come from the Titantron. . .
. . .
". . .YOU. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIOT!"
Then pyro EXPLODED three times on the stage as Scott Steiner's TNA theme played, and Ren and Stimpy strode onto the stage and down the ramp.
"And their opponents. . .introducing first. . .from Hollywood, Yugoslavia. . .REN AND STIMPY!"
"I'll tell you why, Shake. . .because the FIRST-EVER XCW Tag Team Champions are their partners in this match, THAT'S WHY." Frylock called. "When they came back after a brief hiatus after Silver Lining, they said that every promising tag team had to go through them before getting a shot at the XCW Tag Team titles. But after Mordecai and Rigby stole the victory from them in the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave, Ren and Stimpy have a chip on their shoulder that they haven't had since their ECW Blood & Ink days, and the only way to knock it off in their mind is to defeat the Knighthood of Assassins!"
Ren and Stimpy strode down the ramp, making a beeline for the Knighthood of Assassins, who stared down the former tag team champions from the ring with another intense glare!
"Gimme a break, Frylock!" scoffed Shake. "These two are as washed-up and dried out as the nearest WCW reject. They were so bitter about losing to Mordecai and Rigby that they interfered in their one shot at the tag team titles two weeks ago, not only in an act of jealousy, but also an act that violated the code of the Knighthood, who vow to win their battles on their own. That pissed them off so bad, Scorpion and Sub-Zero gave 'em The Execution right then and there! They were ASKING to get their asses kicked then, and they're asking to get their asses kicked against the REST of the Knighthood this Sunday at Abolishment!"
Ren and Stimpy stood at the foot of the ramp, waiting with anticipation for their final tag team partner. . .who came out to the ring upon the sound of. . .
". . .WHAT'S UP, DOC?"
"Buggin'" by Bugs Bunny played to MASSIVE cheers from the crowd. . .but he stepped onto the stage and down the ramp not with a smile. . .but a stern, focused expression on his face.
"And their tag team partner. . .from Burbank, California. . .he is 'The Animation Icon'. . .BUUUUUUUUGS BUNNY!"
"Is this the final time we will see "The Animation Icon" Bugs Bunny enter the ring to his number one single?" Frylock wondered. "This Sunday, he renews the storied rivalry between himself and Daffy Duck in an I Quit match, where if Bugs Bunny loses, he must join the Knighthood of Assassins, and Shake, while we don't know the inner workings of the Knighthood behind closed doors, from the words Daffy spoke tonight, I have a bad feeling that if Bugs were to join the Knighthood, their Strategist would make his life an utter monstrosity."
Bugs entered the ring above the second rope and stood on a turnbuckle, holding a fist high above his head with a determined facial expression.
"Come on, Frylock, you know Daffy's been all bluster for his entire career!" dismissed Shake. "His words don't mean a thing and they never have because he's all talk and no action! Besides, if Bugs DOES lose at Abolishment, that's on the rabbit and the rabbit alone for not being aggressive enough. He better not have gone soft on his feelings about Daffy after all these years, or else I'm gonna cancel him faster than the internet cancelled Hulk Freakin' Hogan!"
Bugs stepped off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND WAS IMMEDIATELY SMOTHERED BY HOTSUMA, WHILE REN AND STIMPY CAME TO HIS AID BY RESPECTIVELY BRAWLING WITH SWEET TOOTH AND SOLID SNAKE UPON ENTERING THE RING, SIGNALING FOR THE BELL TO RING, BEGINNING THE MATCH!
"And just like that, this six-man tag team match begins with absolute pandemonium!" Frylock called. "The Knighthood Leader has a history of manipulating Bugs Bunny, and it's easy to see he STILL isn't over how the triple threat match for the XCW World title went last month. . ."
Hotsuma hammered away at the Animation Icon with thunderous right hands to the side of his head. . .
. . .until Bugs grabbed a hold of Hotsuma by the center plate of his ninja get up and throw him into the corner! The Animation Icon then SLAPPED Hotsuma hard across the chest with a thunderous chop, to a "WOO!" from the crowd.
". . .BUT BUGS ISN'T OVER THE HARASSMENT HE RECEIVED, EITHER!" added Frylock. "HE WANTS TO PUT IT ALL TO AN END ON SUNDAY!"
Bugs continued to hit Hotsuma with chop after chop while Stimpy drove Sweet Tooth into the corner with a series of three-punch combinations, and Ren sent Solid Snake reeling after an Enziguri to the side of his head. Ren then Irish whipped Snake across the ring, then knocked him down to the outside floor with a jumping dropkick! As the Asthmahound Chihuahua backed up against the ropes behind him and leapt over the top rope across from him with a senton bomb, Stimpy continued to kick Sweet Tooth's sternum, only for the Twisted Metal Mascot to grab Stimpy's leg before it could make impact! Sweet Tooth then threw his leg back down to the mat. . .
. . .ONLY TO GRAB HIM BY THE THROAT!
"UH-OH!" Shake interjected. "Sweet Tooth's thinking 'Chokeslam' already!"
Indeed, Sweet Tooth drove Stimpy against a corner closer to the foot of the ramp, and pulled Stimpy up to the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .but Stimpy tried to elbow his way out of the chokehold!
"Stimpy's fighting for his life already in the chaos that is this six-man tag match. . .but will it amount to anything?" Frylock wondered, as Stimpy SUCCESSFULLY elbow struck Sweet Tooth enough to break free of his grip, while putting him in a headlock. . .
. . .
. . .AND LEAPING OFF THE TOP TURNBUCKLE TO LAND SWEET TOOTH ONTO THE OUTSIDE FLOOR WITH A TOP-ROPE SPANISH FLY!
"BAH GAWD, SHAKE!" Frylock exclaimed. "I never thought Stimpy was the kind of cat that could fly!"
"COMPARED TO SWEET TOOTH, HE'S A CRUISERWEIGHT, FRYLOCK. . .BUT HE'S STILL A FREAKIN' IDIOT!" Shake said, as the crowd chanted, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "X-C-DUB! X-C-DUB!"
Meanwhile, Bugs had backed up into an opposing corner and charged back into Hotsuma's corner to give him a series of repeated shoulder thrusts until the Knighthood Leader fell into a seated position. The Animation Icon then began to stomp a mudhole into Hotsuma. . .
. . .
. . .until the Knighthood Leader caught Bugs's leg and spun him around until his back was facing him!
"Bugs was giving Hotsuma a taste of his own medicine, and it worked only for so long!" Frylock observed, as Hotsuma pulled himself back up to a standing position and put Bugs into a waist-lock. . .
. . .
. . .but Bugs countered it by strafing behind Hotsuma and wrench onto his arm in a wrist-lock! The Animation Icon then Irish whipped Hotsuma across the ring. . .
. . .
. . .AND ON THE BOUNCEBACK, SENT HIM FLYING INTO THE BRAWL AT THE FOOT OF THE RAMP WITH A BACK BODY DROP!
"BUGS IS A RABBIT, BUT HE'S FIGHTING LIKE A MORE FEROCIOUS BEAST IN THAT RING TONIGHT!" Frylock declared. "HE'S SHOWING DAFFY THAT HE'S GONNA GIVE HIM EVERYTHING HE HAS THIS SUNDAY!"
Bugs then bounced around the ring with a look of determined fury on his face as he saw Hotsuma struggle to stand up following the impact to his lower back. But the Animation Icon then ran up to the top rope of a nearby corner. . .
. . .
. . .sized all the competitors at the foot of the ramp up. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE LEAPING OFF THE TOP ROPE TO TAKE EVERYBODY DOWN WITH A DIVING BIONIC ELBOW!
"BUGS HAS BEEN WRESTLING FOR ALMOST FIFTY YEARS, AND IT'S NOT OFTEN HE PULLS A TRICK LIKE THAT OUT OF HIS HAT!" Frylock screamed, as every man in the match was dazed on the floor in a crumbled heap!
"GOOD GRIEF!" cringed Shake. "IF OLD MAN BUGS KEEPS THIS UP, THERE WON'T BE ANYTHING LEFT OF HIM FOR DAFFY TO FIGHT!"
*skip to end*
Stimpy leapt up for a Log Cutter, but Hotsuma shoved Stimpy through the ropes and onto the ring apron. Stimpy pulled himself up with the ropes, only for the Knighthood Leader to nail him in the chest with a throat thrust, then pull him forward and back into the ring. . .
. . .
. . .at least, until only his feet were hanging on the ropes. . .
. . .
. . .SO HE COULD DROP STIMPY ON HIS HEAD WITH THE HANGMAN'S DDT!
"WHAT A DDT FROM HOTSUMA!" Frylock called. "Does the Knighthood Leader claim another victim?"
Hotsuma then pulled Stimpy back into the center of the ring for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .STIMPY KICKED OUT! Hotsuma rolled off the cover in a daze, before both he and Stimpy began to crawl toward their corners!
"Ren and Stimpy are telling the Knighthood Leader exactly what they think about them AND their stable!" Frylock called. "But Stimpy and Hotsuma have taken so much punishment. . .who's gonna win this thing?"
"BUGS WANTS TO GET INTO THAT RING SO BAD, HE'S APOPLECTIC!" Shake screamed. "HE'S SO INSANE HE'S ASKIN' TO BE PUT DOWN!"
Bugs and Sweet Tooth slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Stimpy and Hotsuma extended their hands out. . .
. . .reached for their partners' hands. . .
. . .and successfully made the tags, with Bugs getting tagged in just a second before Sweet Tooth!
"AND HERE COMES THE ANIMATION ICON!" Frylock screamed, as Sweet Tooth went for a clothesline, only for Bugs to duck underneath it and take Sweet Tooth down with a shoulder tackle! Bugs ran against the ropes in front of him and nailed the Twisted Metal Mascot with a knee to the face! Bugs then ran against the ropes again before landing on top of Sweet Tooth with a falling elbow drop! The Animation Icon went for the cover 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SWEET TOOTH POWERED OUT!
"It feels just like yesterday when Bugs Bunny fought Sweet Tooth to stand up for his best friend Tai Kamiya when his war against this faction of fury began. . ." Frylock said, ". . .to beat Sweet Tooth right here would bring everything full circle just before his big I Quit match against Daffy Duck in six nights!"
Bugs pulled Sweet Tooth up by the arm and wrenched on it before Irish whipping him across the ring and then meeting him in the center to drop him with the Rabbit's Foot (Running Single Leg Front Dropkick)! But Bugs wasn't satisfied with just one move, he then pulled Sweet Tooth up to a standing position, only to lift him up with all the strength he had. . .
. . .AND DROPPED HIM ONTO THE MAT WITH A SIDEWALK SLAM! Bugs went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT! The Animation Icon then pulled Sweet Tooth up to a standing position, only for the Twisted Metal Mascot to shove Bugs into the nearby corner out of desperation. Upon reaching a vertical base, Sweet Tooth charged toward Bugs. . .
. . .
. . .WHO KICKED HIM SQUARE IN THE JAW WITH THE KARATE KICK, WHICH SENT HIM REELING BACK INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING! The Animation Icon then charged toward Sweet Tooth and hooked both his arms. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE LIFTING HIM UP AND DROPPING HIM WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM!
"HOW THE HELL IS BUGS GETTING ALL THIS STRENGTH?" Shake wondered. "HE COULD BARELY LIFT SWEET TOOTH OFF THE GROUND JUST TWO MONTHS AGO!"
"The I Quit match has Bugs training and performing in rare form, Shake. . ." Frylock responded, ". . .he wants nothing more than to beat Daffy Duck, and put him and the Knighthood behind him! Will he get one step closer to that right now? BUGS HAS GOT THE COVER!"
Indeed, Bugs was on top of Sweet Tooth for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT! Bugs couldn't believe it!
"OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Frylock wondered, as The Animation Icon made his way back to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .and stepped toward the top rope!
"The Animation Icon is looking to go high-risk!" Frylock called. "Will it pay off in spades?"
"Good luck up there, Bugs!" Shake yelled. "Don't break a leg if ya miss 'im, old man!"
The Animation Icon sized up Sweet Tooth, waiting for him to reach a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND-WAS CAUGHT IN MID-AIR BY SWEET TOOTH, WHO SLAMMED HIM DOWN TO THE CANVAS WITH A PUMPHANDLE SLAM!
"NOOOOOOOO! SWEET TOOTH'S HEIGHT AND POWER GOT IN THE WAY!" Frylock called, as Sweet Tooth went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .BUGS KICKED OUT! SWEET TOOTH PUNCHED THE MAT IN FRUSTRATION!
"Bugs has been alive for almost 80 years. . .and he's been wrestling for fifty of them. . .you have to admire the heart and soul of this Icon for giving him a never-say-die attitude ever since this company's inception!" Frylock called.
"Yeah, well, eventually, common sense prevails. Steve Irwin followed his heart and was murdered by a stingray." Shake deadpanned, as Sweet Tooth ran against the ropes next to him and landed a BIG leg drop across the sternum of Bugs Bunny! The Twisted Metal Mascot didn't want to stop there, however. . .because he would rather inflict more punishment by pulling Bugs back up to his feet by the ears. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR BUGS TO WHACK HIM IN THE CHEST WITH A KNIFE-EDGED CHOP! The Animation Icon continued to hit Sweet Tooth in the chest with chop after chop until he was up against the ropes. Bugs then backed up to go for a running knife-edged chop. . .but Sweet Tooth spun out of the way, causing Bugs to land on the ring apron! The Animation Icon slowly but surely pulled himself up to a standing position. . .and leapt onto the top rope for a springboard bionic elbow. . .
. . .
. . .BUT SWEET TOOTH HIT HIM WITH AN UPPERCUT TO THE CHIN BEFORE IT COULD MAKE IMPACT! Bugs reeled against the ropes behind him, then charged toward Sweet Tooth. . .
. . .
. . .WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER!
"THAT SEVENTY YEAR OLD CARTOON BACK HAS GOTTA BE DONE FOR!" Shake declared, as Sweet Tooth went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 BUGS KICKED OUT! Sweet Tooth shot up from the cover, staring Bugs down in disbelief!
"NO! BUGS KICKED OUT! BUGS KICKED OUT! SWEET TOOTH CAN'T BELIEVE IT!" Frylock called.
"IS BUGS JUST METAL SONIC IF HE HAD A METAL SKELETON RATHER THAN A BODY?" Shake yelled. "I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT FOUNTAIN OF YOUTH HE'S DRINKING FROM!"
Grumbling underneath his mask, Sweet Tooth pulled himself up to a standing position, before reaching back down for Bugs. . .
. . .
. . .AND GRABBING HIM BY THE THROAT!
"Sweet Tooth is thinking Chokeslam again. . .he's had enough of Bugs's wily ways and wants to break him in half for Daffy!" Frylock screamed.
"GOOD! THAT'LL END HIS CAREER BEFORE BUGS DOES IT HIMSELF!" Shake called, as Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs off the mat and high above his head. . .
. . .
. . .BUT BUGS NAILED SWEET TOOTH IN THE FACE WITH A KNEE STRIKE BEFORE LANDING BEHIND SWEET TOOTH! The Animation Icon then swept Sweet Tooth's legs out from under him. . .
. . .
. . .AND LOCKED HIM IN AN ANKLE LOCK!
"BUGS HAS GOT SWEET TOOTH IN THE ANKLE LOCK!" Frylock called. "IF NEEDLES KANE'S LEGS ARE INCAPACITATED, HE WON'T HAVE THE SPEED TO COUNTER HIS HIGH-RISK MANEUVERS! GOOD THINKING BY BUGS! WILL SWEET TOOTH TAP OUT?"
Sweet Tooth yelled in agonizing pain while Bugs wrenched on his foot! The referee knelt down and asked him if he wanted to quit, but the Twisted Metal Mascot shook his head no as he crawled toward the ropes. . .
. . .
. . .extended his arm out. . .
. . .
. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY BROKE THE COUNT BY HANGING HIS ARM ON THE BOTTOM ROPE!
"And the Twisted Metal Mascot has made it to the ropes. . .but has enough damage been done to his feet and legs to give Bugs Bunny the upper hand?" Frylock wondered, as Bugs stepped toward the corner behind him. . .
. . .
. . .and climbed up to the top rope!
"Bugs is looking to go high risk again. . .will this time be the charm for the Animation Icon?" Frylock asked, as Bugs sized Sweet Tooth up. . .
. . .
. . .while waiting for him to reach his feet. . .
. . .
. . .until he finally leapt off. . .
. . .
. . .AND THIS TIME, CONNECTED WITH THE DIVING SPEAR WHICH DROVE HIM AND SWEET TOOTH INTO THE ADJACENT CORNER!
"BUGS FINALLY LANDS THE DIVING SPEAR! HOW WILL HE FOLLOW IT UP?" Frylock wondered, as Bugs slowly but surely draped his body on top of Sweet Tooth's for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .SWEET TOOTH GRABBED ONTO THE ROPE WITH ONE OF HIS FREE HANDS! Bugs saw the detail and rolled off the cover, absolutely exasperated!
"Bugs has been able to match the Twisted Metal Mascot in terms of strength, and he has slowed him down. . .but how in the hell is he going to put him away?" Frylock called.
"He ISN'T, Frylock." Shake scoffed. "His back will give out just like the ending of their LAST match."
Bugs then slowly but surely pushed himself up to his knees before using the ropes to pull himself back up, while Sweet Tooth aimed to use the ropes from mat to vertical base. The Twisted Metal Mascot then turned around to face Bugs. . .
. . .
. . .WHO GRIPPED HIM IN A WAIST-LOCK AND THREW HIM INTO THE CENTER OF THE RIN WITH A SAITO SUPLEX!
"HE LIFTED THE BIG MAN OFF HIS FEET!" Frylock shouted. "BUGS HAS BEEN A HOUSE OF FIRE THAT WON'T BURN DOWN SINCE THIS MATCH BEGAN!"
"Whatever. His back will give out in due time." Shake predicted, as Bugs pulled himself up to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .and-pulled Sweet Tooth into a powerbomb position. . .?
"Welp! HERE IT COMES!" Shake declared. "This match is over in T-minus 10. . .9. . .8-"
"SHAKE, SHUT UP!" Frylock yelled. "The last time Bugs went for this move on Needles Kane, it was the night Daffy Duck joined the Knighthood. . .does the Animation Icon have the power left within him to drop Kane with the Bunny Bomb?"
"No. No freakin' way." Shake replied, as Bugs's body tensed with strain and intensity while holding Sweet Tooth underneath him. . .
. . .
. . .before lifting him up. . .
. . .
. . .AND SCREAMED IN AGONIZING PAIN AS HE PULLED HIM UP ABOVE HIS HEAD. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE QUICKLY SLAMMING HIM BACK DOWN WITH THE BUNNY BOMB!
"HE DID IT! HE DID IT! HE ACTUALLY DID IT!" Frylock exclaimed, as Bugs collapsed onto the mat after hitting his signature powerbomb, while the fans in the arena were on their feet chanting, "HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!" and "LET'S GO BUGS! LET'S GO BUGS!"
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Shake screamed. "DO IT AGAIN! I WAS TAKING A DRINK FROM MY BATTLEFIELD EARTH GLASS!"
Bugs Bunny then crawled toward Sweet Tooth, and draped his arm across his chest for the cover! 1. . .
"BUGS USED ALL HIS ENERGY TO DROP THE BIG MAN ON HIS BACK. . ."
. . .
2. . .
. . .
". . .BUT IS IT ENOUGH. . ."
. . .
. . .2.75 SWEET TOOTH KICKED OUT!
". . .FOR THE WI-NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Frylock shouted. "SWEET TOOTH JUST GOT THE SHOULDER UP!"
"NICE GOING, BUGS! ALL THAT AND IT DIDN'T GET YA THE THREE!" Shake jeered, as Bugs rolled off from the cover, absolutely exasperated, while Sweet Tooth rolled onto his side, reaching for the ropes before settling onto one knee.
"Whatever training regiment Bugs has put himself on is paying off, but right now, he may be running on E against the Twisted Metal Mascot!" Frylock foreboded, as Sweet Tooth made it to a standing position and grabbed Bugs by the ears before spinning him around and tossing him into a corner. Sweet Tooth then backed up into the opposing corner. . .
. . .
. . .and SMOTHERED Bugs with a series of RUTHLESS shoulder thrusts that slid Bugs into a seated position in the corner, where Sweet Tooth continued to pound Bugs, this time, with brutal mudhole stomps! The Animation Icon's prone, weak body was out on the mat for anyone to pin at this point, but Sweet Tooth pulled Bugs up by the ears and gripped him by the sides. . .
. . .
. . .TO SEND HIM FLYING INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Bugs cried in agonizing pain, clenching his lower back following the impact!
"Even after being put through the wringer, Sweet Tooth is still a formidable force inside the ring!" Frylock called. "Now what's he gonna do to the Animation Icon?"
"Y'know why I can't wait to find out, Frylock?" Shake asked. "Because after all that, he ain't going for the cover!"
Indeed, Sweet Tooth then reached down and pulled Bugs up by the ears, and looked him DEAD in the eyes before saying. . .
". . .I'm going to ENJOY having you with us. . .ASSASSIN-"
. . .
. . .AND THEN DROPPING HIM ON HIS BACK WITH A VERTICAL SUPLEX POWERSLAM!
"NEEDLES KANE JUST TOLD BUGS WHAT HE'S EXCITED FOR. . ." Frylock called, ". . .will there be more where that came from in the form of a victory?"
Sweet Tooth then went for the cover, pinning Bugs' shoulders to the mat! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 BUGS KICKED OUT!
"Yeeeeeaaaa-NOOOOOO! BUGS SHOVED SWEET TOOTH OFF OF HIM!" Frylock called, as the crowd EXPLODED WITH CHEERS AND CHANTS OF, "THIS IS AWESOME! THIS IS AWESOME!"
"This crowd can't get enough of Bugs's valiant efforts against the Knighthood of Assassins. . .but will it be all for naught?" Frylock wondered. "Sweet Tooth is back up, and he's going for the kill!"
"It had to happen some time, Frylock!" Shake declared, as Sweet Tooth grabbed Bugs by the throat. . .
. . .
. . .and stared Bugs down RIGHT between the eyes. . .
. . .
. . .before lifting him up. . .
. . .
. . .AND GETTING CHOP BLOCKED IN BOTH LEGS FROM BEHIND BY REN AND STIMPY!
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Frylock screamed. "TWO LEGENDS LOOKING AFTER LEGENDS! REN AND STIMPY HAVE COME TO THE AID OF THEIR TAG TEAM PARTNER!"
"YEAH, AND THEY COULD HAVE TORN SWEET TOOTH'S QUADS PULLING THAT SHIT, FRYLOCK!" exclaimed Shake. "SWEET TOOTH COULD BE IN BAD COMPANY WITH NASH AND VINNIE MAC!"
Sweet Tooth was knocked down. . .
. . .
. . .BUT THAT BROUGHT SOLID SNAKE AND HOTSUMA BACK INTO THE MATCH, WITH BOTH ASSASSINS GOING AFTER STIMPY AND REN, RESPECTIVELY!
"AND NOW ABSOLUTE ANARCHY HAS BROKEN OUT IN THIS SIX-MAN TAG TEAM MATCHUP!" Frylock screamed.
"Come on, Frylock! The referee's trying to do his job." insisted Shake. "Granted, it's a SHITTY job, but a job nevertheless."
Solid Snake had backed Stimpy up into the corner with a series of karate chops, he moved onto the ring apron to lock him into a sleeper hold from behind the corner! Stimpy gasped and wheezed for air, trying to fight his way out of Snake's grasp, but to no avail. Meanwhile, Hotsuma was assaulting Ren in the corner with repeated knees to the gut while the referee started the count to five, or else he would disqualify him. The referee reached four. . .
. . .
. . .AND WAS KNOCKED DOWN BY A EUROPEAN UPPERCUT FROM HOTSUMA FOR HIS TROUBLES!
"OH MY GOD! NOW THERE REALLY IS ABSOLUTE CHAOS IN THIS RING!" Frylock yelled, as Hotsuma turned his attention back to Ren. . .
. . .
. . .WHO NAILED HIM UPSIDE THE HEAD WITH THE VAN HOEKINATOR! Hotsuma reeled onto the ring apron in a daze, while in an act of desperation, Stimpy reached up to grip Snake in a headlock. . .
. . .BEFORE SWINGING HIM OVER HIS HEAD AND DROPPING HIM ON HIS BACK IN THE RING! With his grasp broken, Stimpy raised his arms up and shouted, "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" to MASSIVE cheers from the crowd!
"Aw great. . .here comes THIS juvenile bullshit. . ." Shake scoffed, as Ren strode onto the ring apron before climbing up to the top rope. ". . .who REMEMBERS the Budweiser commercials from 1999, ANYWAY?"
"These fans do, Shake! And they're on their feet for the first-ever XCW Tag Team Champions!" Frylock exclaimed, as Stimpy spread Snake's legs apart so they were facing Ren. . .
. . .
. . .and screamed, "WASSUUUUUUUUUUUP?" at the top of his lungs to Ren, who yelled it back at him. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE LEAPING OFF THE TOP ROPE AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDING A HEADBUTT INTO SNAKE'S GROIN! Ren spun around in celebration of completing their fan-favorite signature move. . .
. . .
. . .until Stimpy shoved him while exclaiming, "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"
Ren then looked around the arena in a confused state before shouting back, "WHAT?!"
Stimpy was literally FOAMING at the mouth. . .he had wanted to shout this to the heavens for the longest time. . .
. . .
". . .GET THE-"
-BUT HOTSUMA TOOK HIM DOWN IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH THE AKUJIKI!
"AND THERE'S HOTSUMA WITH THE AKUJIKI!" Frylock screamed, as the crowd ERUPTED with boos for Hotsuma and the Knighthood of Assassins. Ren then charged toward the Knighthood Leader in a bout of anger. . .
. . .
. . .but Hotsuma dropped REN with the Akujiki. . .
. . .
. . .the force of which sent Ren flying upward off the mat. . .
. . .
. . .AND INTO THE ARMS OF SWEET TOOTH, WHO TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A CHOKESLAM!
"SWEET TOOTH WITH A CHOKESLAM!" added Frylock. "The Knighthood of Assassins are resorting to scorched Earth techniques just to win this six-man tag team match. . .is this a preview of what to expect in the Abolishment Elimination Tag Team match-WAIT A MINUTE! BUT THERE'S BUGS!"
Indeed, Sweet Tooth and Hotsuma butted both their fists together in the center of the ring. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL BUGS NAILED SWEET TOOTH IN THE FACE WITH A KARATE KICK!
"BUGS HITS THE KARATE KICK!" Frylock called, as Sweet Tooth reeled backward. . .while Bugs hit HOTSUMA with a Karate Kick! The Animation Icon continued to hit Hotsuma and Sweet Tooth with swift Karate Kicks, all of them more devastating than the last!
"BUGS BUNNY IS RELENTLESS! HE'S BESIDE HIMSELF! TWO MONTHS OF NEVER ENDING FRUSTRATION AND PAIN AT THE HANDS OF THE KNIGHTHOOD ARE BEING DEALT THROUGH THOSE DEVASTATING KARATE KICKS!"
Bugs had a FURIOUS look on his face as he kept dealing kick after kick to Hotsuma and Sweet Tooth, until a TENTH Karate Kick to Hotsuma FINALLY knocked him down. . .
. . .
. . .as did the tenth Karate Kick to Sweet Tooth! Bugs turned to the ringside floor and saw that the referee was slowly but surely coming back to consciousness. . .
. . .
. . .then climbed up to the top rope!
"BUGS BUNNY IS GOING FOR IT ALL!" Frylock declared, as the fans rose to their feet while Bugs stared down Sweet Tooth from the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .and sized him up. . .
. . .
. . .before slapping his elbow not once. . .
. . .
. . .not TWICE. . .
. . .
. . .BUT THREE TIMES. . .
. . .
. . .before leaping off the top rope. . .
. . .
. . .AND DRIVING INTO SWEET TOOTH WITH THE ACME ELBOW DROP!
"AND THE ACME ELBOW DROP CONNECTS!" Frylock exclaimed, as the referee made it back into the ring just as Bugs hooked both legs for the cover! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .3!
"BUGS BUNNY GETS A HUGE WEIGHT LIFTED OFF HIS SHOULDERS WITH THE VICTORY!" Frylock called, as the fans EXPLODED with cheers after Bugs rose to his knees while the bell rang!
"The winners of this match. . .the team of Ren. . .Stimpy. . .AND THE ANIMATION ICON. . .BUUUUUUUUUUUUUGS BUUUUUUUUUUUUNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!"
"Whether that the last time we will see him land the ACME Elbow Drop as The Animation Icon or not, you cannot deny that that was an incredible showing from Bugs Bunny!" Frylock called. "That may be Bugs's first wrestling match this month, but what Daffy made clear in his words earlier tonight, Bugs did in the ring: he's been training harder than he ever has before, and despite his age, he's never been stronger! It's VERY evident that Bugs is more than ready to renew his rivalry with Daffy Duck at Abolishment in this company's first-ever I Quit match!"
The referee raised Bugs's arm in victory, while Bugs looked around the arena with a confident but focused expression on his face.
"I know I asked what kinda Fountain of Youth Bugs had in his backyard already. . ." Shake said, ". . .but he ain't drinking from the Fountain o'Youth. . .he's drinking the water FROM the Fountain of Youth from a goddamn HOLY GRAIL! Either this man's gonna beat Daffy Duck to Kingdom Come like he has for his entire career, or we'll see this man's exhaustion finally settle in this Sunday. Considering how much the Knighthood have put him through over the months, I'm going with the LATTER. And you can QUOTE me on that. In fact, let's BET ON IT! You and me, RIGHT NOW, Frylock. Whaddaya say?"
Bugs Bunny then stepped toward a corner in front of him and raised two fists above his head, celebrating with the fans.
"Will Bugs Bunny have the entire Knighthood in his rearview mirror after this Sunday. . .or will a darker chapter begin in the storied career of the Animation Icon?" Frylock wondered, as the show cut back to the announcer's table, where Frylock and Shake were facing the camera. "And another question on everybody's mind is: who attacked D-Generation Ed before their entrance into the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave?"
"That wasn't on MY mind." Shake quipped, to an eye roll from Frylock.
"Well, nevertheless, the last time we saw them earlier tonight, Ed, Double D and Eddy found a break in the case that came in the form of a mysterious riddle etched within the walls of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome's storage closet that directs the trio of detectives toward the team that took their place in that gauntlet match: Darth Maul and Savage Opress of The Sith Lords! Have D-Generation Ed finally found their attackers? Let's find out in the next edition of The Private Eds."
"Oh, GREAT. . ." Shake deadpanned, just before the show faded to black. . .
. . .
. . .and faded back up on a profile shot of Ed, Double D and Eddy striding down a hallway.
"Detective's Log, September 9th, 2019. . ." Eddy narrated via voiceover, ". . .just when we think the trail's gone cold, my fellow gumshoes and I discovered a hot clue. It was left for us where NOBODY else could find it but the BEST private eyes. . .if this doesn't 'reinvogue' our case and lead us right to our attackers, then we're better off sitting on the curb sucking on jawbreakers in the hot sun. . .also, was my last entry REALLY dated almost a year ago? Time continues to function weirder and weirder here-"
"Well, this appears to be the place. . ." Double D said, stopping in his tracks to gesture toward a door that reads, 'The Sith Lords' Locker Room'.
"C'mon, Sockhead! You KNOW that's just a decoy!" Eddy dismissed.
"What do you mean?" Double D asked. "The door CLEARLY reads-"
"Sure, that's what they WANT US to think. . .but the Sith Lords are too mystic to have any BASIC locker room. I say, we wait here until they come out. . .THEN we'll AMBUSH 'EM." Eddy said, as a scheming grin formed on his face.
Double D paused for a minute to blink twice upon Eddy's ludicrous theory. ". . .Eddy, are you SURE Post Malone didn't slip you anything? Because I worry you're going out of your mind with paranoia!"
"Please. Paranoia is a fancy kind of pasta." Eddy dismissed.
"When will this conclude. . .?" lamented Double D.
"I hope the Sith Lords raise chickens, Double D!" Ed commented, as Eddy checked his watch.
"Now we play the waiting game. . ." Eddy said, grinning with excitement. ". . .they'll NEVER know what hit 'em. . ."
. . .
. . .but little did Eddy know. . .
. . .
. . .THAT DARTH MAUL AND SAVAGE OPRESS WERE STANDING RIGHT BEHIND HIM!
"Um. . .Eddy. . ." Double D said, his eyes wide with fear.
". . .we're FINALLY about to conclude our-" started Eddy. . .
. . .
. . .until Savage Opress cleared his throat, causing Eddy's facial expression to go from eager to TERRIFIED in a half-second!
Eddy turned around to face The Sith Lords. . . .
. . .
. . .upon which, Savage Opress just asked, ". . .what are you doing?"
"UHHHH….well-uhhhhh…." stammered Eddy, until Ed came to his side wielding a broom and pointing it at the Sith Lords!
"WE ARE DETECTIVES AND WE WANT TO SLICE YOU IN HALF LIKE OBI-WAN KIRK SHATNER DID, SITH LORDS!" Ed shouted, as Double D looked on from behind.
"YEAH!" Eddy added, feigning confidence. "YOU ATTACKED US BEFORE WE COULD ENTER TAG TEAM TURMOIL LAST MONTH TO TAKE OUR SPOT! But WE'RE like the reviews for The Phantom Menace. . .
. . .
. . .we're IMPOSSIBLE to ignore."
Darth Maul sighed. "What the HELL are you talking about?" until Double D stepped toward Eddy and Ed.
"What my allies are beating around the bush over is that during our investigation, we came across this message etched in an inside wall." Double D informed, turning his cell phone around to show Darth Maul the riddle from the previous chapter.
After reading it, Darth Maul leaned away from Double D's phone and said, "That wasn't done by MY blade."
"Nor mine." added Savage Opress. "So GET OUT OF OUR WAY. We're late for meditation."
Darth Maul and Savage Opress then shoved the Private Eds out of their path before entering their locker room, leaving Eddy dejected.
"Huh. . .well, THAT was anticlimactic." Eddy said aloud. . .
. . .
. . .until Darth Maul opened his locker room door. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOSSED A LETTER INTO ED'S MOUTH?!
"AND TAKE THIS WITH YOU! IT WAS PUT IN OUR FAN MAIL!" yelled Darth Maul.
"The prequel trilogy has fans?" Eddy quipped. . .
. . .
. . .PROMPTING DARTH MAUL TO PULL HIM INTO THEIR LOCKER ROOM AND SLAM THE DOOR!
"Oh my. . .ANOTHER letter to us. . .and once AGAIN, there's no address!" Double D said with astonishment, as the sound of violent crashes and Eddy's screams went on in the background.
"I feel like a mailbox, Double D!" Ed commented, as Double D read the letter aloud,
"You've left no roads untraveled
Quite impressive by you freaks.
I'm going to enjoy our meeting
When you come to. . .Twin Peaks. . ."
". . .fascinating. . ." Double D interjected. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE EDDY WAS FORCE THROWN THROUGH THE WALL OF THE SITH LORDS' LOCKER ROOM!
". . .Double D. . .the Dark Side of the Force hurts. . ." Eddy groaned, until Ed pulled him up and put him on his back.
"And all roads lead NORTH, EDDY!" Double D exclaimed, "The perpetrators behind our assault will make themselves known to us this Sunday at Abolishment! Twin Peaks, Washington, HERE WE COME!"
Double D ran down the hallway, and Ed was quick to take off after him with Eddy in tow!
"WOAH, ED!" Eddy exclaimed, "CAREFUL! I'M SORE BACK HERE!"
"NORTH TO ALASKA!" Ed declared, as he followed Double D out of the hallway and emptying the scene to allow Monday Night Massacre to go to a commercial break, but not before the following three words appeared in white text over a black screen. . .
To Be Concluded. . .
As Monday Night Massacre returned from break, Meatwad sat on a pedestal next to Joffrey Baratheon with a microphone in hand.
"Joffrey Baratheon. . ." Meatwad asked, ". . .uh, I know it's been a while since you've appeared on this program, but, uh. . .at Shockwave, you attacked Samurai Jack while he was fighting for the XCW World Television Championship against Arthur Read. Can you please explain yourself?"
"Before I do. . .may I ask why on EARTH is my interview with the remains of a dead cow?" Joffrey demanded, with a look of disgust. "Not only am I rather fond of your female correspondent, I DESERVE to WORK with your female correspondent. Tell your management to KEEP THAT IN MIND NEXT TIME THEY BOOK SOMEONE OF ROYALTY!"
Tears began to form in Meatwad's eyes. . .
. . .
. . .until Joffrey picked him up. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOSSED HIM OUT OF THE INTERVIEW AREA AS IF HE WERE A FASTBALL!
"GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF HERE!" yelled Joffrey. "I can conduct my own interview. . ."
The First of His Name regained his composure upon grabbing the microphone and looking into the camera.
"Now. . .as I was saying. . ." continued Joffrey, ". . .I attacked Samurai Jack at Shockwave because there's only ONE person who deserves an opportunity at the World Television Championship, and that is ME. I was very transparent about my intentions upon my arrival to this very company, and I meant them. As Joffrey of Houses Baratheon and Lannister, the First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, and the First of His Character, I am royalty. And AS royalty, I am more deserving of a title shot than an overweight cartoon plumber and an animated sponge that's well past his prime! I am COMING for that championship whether anybody else in the back likes it or not, because I am going to give this company, and the ENTIRE fiction wrestling industry a LETHAL DOSE OF REALITY, that reality being there are more important lessons to learn than what some aardvark can teach you on a daily basis. More. . .realistic lessons. More. . .sobering lessons. The most important ones being. . .that there are consequences to everything that you do, some goals are unreachable, and life and this universe combined. . .are simple chaos. And chaos will come if I do not GET. WHAT I WANT. So from this moment forward, all of the commoners in the back, and the incompetence of our management have no choice but to RESPECT ME. . .AND FEAR ME, OR ELSE-"
-BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN JOFFREY WAS INTERRUPTED AND KNOCKED TO THE FLOOR BY A SUPERKICK TO THE FACE!
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" Shake exclaimed, as Joffrey remained still on the floor, letting out sporadic, but quiet cries of pain as he remained on the floor in a daze. . .
. . .
. . .until the camera panned right. . .
. . .
. . .and the crowd cheered upon seeing that the man behind the superkick was SPIKE SPIEGEL!
"Sorry. . ." scoffed Spike, before flicking a toothpick at the floor. ". . .I was just doing the world a FAVOR."
And with that, Spike just stepped away from the scene, leaving Joffrey alone on the floor.
"HOW DARE SPIKE SPIEGEL KNOCK JOFFREY BARATHEON WHEN HE DIDN'T SEE HIM COMING!" Shake exclaimed. "YOU HEARD THE FIRST OF HIS CHARACTER! HE IS ROYALTY! SPIKE SHOULD BE EXECUTED AT WORST, AND SERVE LIFE IN PRISON AT BEST! Y'KNOW, JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE IN LOS INGOBERNABLES DE FICCION DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO GO AROUND ATTACKING WHOEVER YOU WANT TO!"
"SHAKE. . .he was ASKING for it." Frylock deadpanned, as the show transitioned back to the announcer's desk, where Frylock and Shake were continuing their conversation. "If you can't roll with the punches in this business, leave or shape up! That's something Joffrey will learn the easy way or the hard way!"
"Well, he's the Ruler of the Iron Throne." Shake responded. "That has to mean SOMETHING."
"Yes, and there's one match left before we travel to Twin Peaks for Abolishment, which means we have a full slate of a record TEN matches to run through! You ready, Shake?" asked Frylock.
"As I'll ever be…." Shake replied, as the Baardsen remix of "From Nowhere" by Dan Croll began to play, and the show transitioned to green-colored graphics promoting each match on the Abolishment card as Frylock named them off.
"First, on the XCW Abolishment Pre-Show, the following matches have just been confirmed: first, the team of Yuna and Rikku will battle the Elwood City Strikers in a Women's Tag Team Championship Showcase, a match where afterwards, the full brackets for the Women's Tag Team Championship tournament will be announced!" Frylock informed.
"These showcases have promoted our upcoming women's tag team division pretty damn well. . ." Shake said, ". . .who will prevail in the last one, and who will get the biggest seeding advantage when the tournament finally begins?"
"Next, we also have-oh boy. . .sure enough, Spike Spiegel is fighting Joffrey Baratheon in a one-on-one match. . ." groaned Frylock.
"YEAH! HOW ABOUT THAT?" Shake exclaimed. "ASK AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE! JOFFREY WILL ACHIEVE HIS VENGEANCE AGAINST SPIKE THIS SUNDAY, AND DON'T THINK HE WON'T!"
Frylock sighed. "And on the main card, Scorpion and Sub-Zero will defend the XCW Tag Team titles against The Wild Dudes, Mordecai and Rigby, in a No-Disqualification match!"
"Scorpion and Sub-Zero have been running and hiding from the Rookie Revolution ever since before Pride and Glory. . ." Shake commented, ". . .will the Knighthood of Assassins keep XCW's tag team gold, or will Mordecai and Rigby shock the fiction wrestling world?"
"The Knighthood's war on XCW extends into the first-ever Abolishment Elimination Tag Team match: Hotsuma, Sweet Tooth, Solid Snake, and honorary members Jack Torrance and Parker Crane take on Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick and Ren and Stimpy!" Frylock continued.
"Hotsuma and company have had the South Park Four's number since forming in XCW's New Era," Shake said, ". . .will they put down The Bad Boys of Comedy Central and Nickelodeon for good, or will Stan Marsh's ragtag team of animated misfits finally catch a break?"
"Then, in another match that was just announced: 'The Son of a Shepherd' Rolf puts the XCW Hardcore title on the line against 'The Bastard of Bolton' Ramsay Bolton!" Frylock commented.
"Ramsay debuted with an attack on the strangest kid from The Old Country, and Rolf hasn't forgotten about it!" Shake said, "Will Rolf escape Twin Peaks with the XCW Hardcore Championship as he did tonight, or will Ramsay Bolton's appetite for destruction earn him some well-deserved gold?"
"Next, 'The Goddess of Rock' Casey Lynch squares off with 'The Ace of Women's Wrestling' Sora Takenouchi in a one-on-one match for the XCW Women's Championship!" Frylock notified.
"A war of words have been said, songs have been sung, punches have been thrown, graps have been made between these two women in recent months. . ." Shake reminded, "I have a feeling The Crestbearer of Love is gonna face her toughest challenge to date in Twin Peaks!"
"With Spongebob Squarepants and Smokey The Bear in their respective corners, 'The Champion of Life' Mario fight 'The First PBS Kid' Arthur Read for the XCW World Television Championship!" Frylock advised.
"Mario's trying to avenge his brother's attack at the hands of his fellow legend Smokey and his protege Arthur. . ." Shake declared, ". . .but he won't GET IT because Arthur Read's the greatest champion this company's ever seen!"
"Then, a rivalry becomes renewed: Bugs Bunny squares off against Daffy Duck in an I Quit Match where if Bugs loses, he must join the Knighthood!" briefed Frylock.
"Just as soon as they get away from each other, they find their way back together in the ring." Shake scoffed. "Will Bugs Bunny finally put Daffy and the Knighthood behind him, or will the Knighthood Strategist be welcoming a new Assassin to his faction?"
"Our final new match is a tag team match: after weeks of cheating to win and unnecessary attacks, Claude Speed and The Mask will fight the Bohan Badasses!" listed Frylock.
"The team of CJ Johnson and Niko Bellic still have a lot to prove in XCW's tag team division. . ." Shake reminded, ". . .will they finally get a big win as a unit, or will Claude Speed and The Mask right their adverbial ship?"
"That's proverbial, Shake-" corrected Frylock, "-but nevertheless, our main event at Abolishment will see Tai Kamiya looking to regain the XCW World Heavyweight Championship against 'The Harwood Butcher' Tommy Vercetti!"
"Tommy's been a completely different person ever since cashing in the Silver Lining briefcase," Shake said, ". . .will he live up to his truthful words and actions, or will Tai Kamiya reclaim the championship he believes is his?"
"It all happens in six days at XCW Abolishment, which will be live from Twin Peaks, Washington, this Sunday, sponsored by Chicken 4 Dayz! 'Don't ask questions, just KEEP EATING!'" finished Frylock, just in time for the show to cut back to the arena, where Carl Brutanandilewski stood in the center of the ring with a microphone in hand.
"The following contest. . .is a six-man tag team match scheduled for one fall. . .and it is your Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Main Event of the evening!"
The crowd exploded into cheers of excitement that got even louder as "What Would Brian Boitano Do?" by DVDA played, prompting Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick to stride onto the stage to cheers from the crowd.
"Introducing first. . .representing the South Park Four. . .from South Park, Colorado. . .the team of 'The Extremist' Kenny McCormick. . .'The Submitter' Kyle Broflovski. . .and 'The South Park Leader'. . .STAAAAAAAAAAAAAN MAAAAAAAAARSH!"
"The South Park Leader, Stan Marsh, is the team captain of Team South Park this Sunday," Frylock notified, ". . .and he has assembled a team consisting of his best friends Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick, and the tag team he and Kyle defeated in their debut match here in XCW, Ren and Stimpy! Stan may be the most rational member of the South Park Four, but considering Scorpion and Sub-Zero were the ones to not only take the Tag Team titles away from him and Kyle, but also injure his stable's Enforcer, Eric Cartman, you have to wonder to what extent he and his allies will go to finally defeat the Knighthood of Assassins."
Stan, Kyle and Kenny ran down the ramp and slid into the ring under the bottom rope, then posed on opposing turnbuckles.
"And now lemme guess, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering, Frylock?" Shake quipped. "BOTH duos in the South Park Four have tried to beat Scorpion and Sub-Zero at their own game and failed, and now the REST of the Knighthood's cavalry is coming right for him and the remaining members of his stable! There's no way these foul-mouthed kids from a pissant white-bred mountain town in Colorado can defeat the foreboding warriors in the Knighthood!"
"Only time will tell, Shake. . ." replied Frylock, ". . .because they have a tough test ahead of them in the form. . .of another dangerous team. . ."
Stan, Kyle and Kenny scanned the arena. . .until-
ECHO.
MILANO.
PADOVA.
INDIA.
ROMA.
ECHO.
EMPIRE.
"Wet Blanket" by Metz played, and the crowd exploded into a huge mixed reaction as Trevor Phillips and Franklin Clinton were found standing at the top of a staircase in the crowd.
"And their opponents. . .representing The Three Crest Empire. . .from Los Santos, San Andreas. . .they are Franklin Clinton. . .and 'The Crazy Guy'. . .TREVOOOOOOOOOR PHIIIIIIIIIIILLIIIIIIIIIIIIPS!"
Both men looked out at the fans surrounding them and all over the arena before nodding to each other, the two of them ready to get down to business. Trevor and Franklin stepped down the steps and made their way toward the barricade.
"If there's one question about these two men and their leader Michael De Santa that has to be answered here tonight, it's a question about whether or not they have an alliance with the Harwood Butcher, Tommy Vercetti!" Frylock informed. "Michael, Trevor and Franklin debuted by attacking Tai Kamiya after the main event of XCW Shockwave, after which, Tommy Vercetti sped down to the ring to cash in his Silver Lining briefcase on The Crestbearer of Courage and became the new XCW World Heavyweight Champion! If there was any better time to answer this question as Tommy's reign begins, it's right here and right now, considering how our Commissioner Space Ghost made our main event!"
Trevor and Franklin climbed over the barricade and Trevor stepped onto a nearby corner, while Franklin did the same, pointing a fist into Trevor's direction, glaring at the fans with contemptuous stares.
"Why the hell does it matter, Frylock?" Shake asked. "Because these three men have stated time and time again that they have NO allegiance to our new World Heavyweight Champion! They're going one way, and Tommy's going the other! They've abided by that truth and will stick by it in this match because all they care about is nothing but themselves, and getting their second victory as a tag team here in Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling!"
Both men stepped off the corner. . .
. . .
. . .and the crowd EXPLODED with boos. . .
. . .
. . .as 'The Harwood Butcher' Tommy Vercetti then made his way onto the stage, scanning the arena with contempt to no entrance music whatsoever.
"And their tag team partner. . .from Vice City, Florida. . .he is the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling. . .HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THE WOOOOOOOOOOOORLD. . .'The Harwood Butcher'. . .TOMMY VERRRRRCETTIIIIIIIIIIIIII!"
Tommy slowly but surely sauntered down the ramp with the same malcontented grimace on his face, holding the XCW World Heavyweight Championship by one strap in his hand, letting the other drag onto the ground with every step.
"If you were to look up 'fall from grace' in either the Webster's dictionary or Urban Dictionary, you would see a photo of Tommy Vercetti." Frylock stated. "The first man to successfully cash in the Silver Lining briefcase and become the new Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion was quick to turn into the Pariah of XCW when he lashed out at Tai Kamiya, turned his back on the fans and ultimately got himself suspended, during which, he sent The Crestbearer of Courage unnerving threats to his family and hometown, and burnt down his mother-in-law's flower shop! All that would be grounds for a prison sentence, but the anonymous chairman stepped in and not only bailed him outta jail, but also lifted his suspension! Why? Hell if I know! It's anybody's guess!"
Tommy entered the ring above the second rope and stood on a turnbuckle, glaring at the fans in his field of vision with the same expression of discontent.
"Is your bias against Tommy affecting your memory, Frylock?" Shake wondered. "Because the anonymous chairman made the RIGHT CALL in bringing him back now. Not only is he the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling World Heavyweight Champion, he saw the power and charisma he possessed after just explaining his actions! If his WORDS were able to change the mind of our chairman, I bet he's chomping at the bit to see not only what he and The Crestbearer of Courage do in the ring, but also to see the box office returns that the match will draw! He's excited for Abolishment this Sunday as you should be, Frylock!"
The bell rang and the match began with Trevor standing across the ring from Kyle Broflovski. Both men charged toward each other, meeting in the center of the ring in a tie-up, which Kyle emerged with the upper hand from as he put Trevor in a side headlock. Kyle then took down The Crazy Guy with a side headlock takedown before wrenching on his neck for a bit before transitioning it into an armbar! Trevor winced in pain until he rolled onto Kyle's chest and nailed him with a punch from his free hand to break from his grasp. The Crazy Guy then pulled Kyle up to a standing position and nailed him in the face with a three-punch combination that drove the South Park Submitter against the ropes. Trevor then Irish whipped Kyle across the ring and met him in the center of the ring with a Lou Thesz Press, then hammered away at his face with thunderous right hands to boos from the crowd! The Crazy Guy then ran against the ropes behind him and landed a knee drop across his face! Trevor went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .2. . .Kyle kicked out! Trevor then pulled the South Park Submitter up by his collar, only to receive a series of chops to the chest from Kyle! Kyle continued to hit The Crazy Guy in the chest with chop after chop until Trevor was driven against the ring ropes. Kyle then Irish whipped Trevor against the ropes, only for Trevor to counter it with an Irish whip of his own! Trevor then knelt down with the intent for a back body drop. . .but Kyle kicked Trevor in the face before he could even think about going flying! With Trevor dazed, Kyle took him down head-first with a DDT before going for the cover! 1. . .2. . .Trevor kicked out!
*skip to end*
Franklin had the South Park Leader on his shoulders. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH OUT OF THE FORUM!
"FRANKLIN LANDS THE RUNNING SITOUT POWERSLAM!" Frylock called. "WILL HE PICK UP THE WIN?"
Franklin rolled Stan onto his back and went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .STAN KICKED OUT!
"NO! THE SOUTH PARK LEADER GETS THE SHOULDER UP!" Frylock observed, as Franklin pulled Stan up by his collar, only for the South Park Leader to surprise him with a gutsy kick to the midsection! Stan Marsh then rolled around to Franklin's back and lifted him for a German suplex. . .
. . .
. . .but Franklin Clinton dropped out of it! Stan then turned around to face his opponent, watching him run forward for a clothesline. . .
. . .
. . .BUT STAN SWEPT HIS LEGS OUT FROM UNDER HIM. . .
. . .then turned back to face Stan and picked him up for an Eledrifier. . .
. . .AND LOCKED HIM INTO THE SHARPSHOOTER!
"THE LEADER OF SOUTH PARK MAKES A QUICK COUNTER AND LOCKS FRANKLIN INTO THE SHARPSHOOTER! He may have him here!" Frylock cried as Franklin screamed in agonizing pain! The referee asked him if he wanted to quit, but Franklin shook his head no and used his strength to crawl toward the ropes! Franklin extended his arm out. . .
. . .brushed the bottom rope with his hand. . .
. . .but Stan pulled Franklin toward the center of the ring! Franklin yelled from all the damage to his lower back. . .while Trevor slid back into the ring! Stan screamed "TAP OUT!" unaware that Trevor was charging toward him. . .
. . .
. . .AND TOOK HIM DOWN WITH A BACK SUPLEX BEFORE BASEBALL SLIDING OUT OF THE RING! Both men were down in the center of the ring before they began to crawl toward their corners. . .and the crowd was ALREADY booing to see Tommy Vercetti extending his hand out.
"We could be about to see Tommy Vercetti's first stint of action since winning the XCW World Heavyweight Championship, Frylock!" Shake exclaimed. "I can't wait to see what holding the belt does to the Harwood Butcher in the ring!"
"And so far, there's been nothing to suggest that he and the Three Crest Empire have a working relationship. . ." Frylock reminded, as Tommy and Kenny slapped their hands against the top corners in front of them as their partners crawled closer toward them. Stan and Franklin extended their hands out. . .
. . .reached for their partner's hands. . .
. . .and successfully made the tags, with Kenny getting tagged in just a second before Tommy!
"AND HERE COME THE HARDCORE SPECIALISTS!" Frylock called, as the boos for Tommy grew to a deafening volume while the Harwood Butcher and Kenny entered the ring and charged toward each other, with Tommy taking Kenny down with a Lou Thesz Press of his own, then hammered away at Kenny's face with swift right and left hands. The Harwood Butcher then stood up and shouted a FOUL amount of obscenities at the fans before stepping into a nearby corner, sizing Kenny up before charging back toward him and nailing him in the side of the face with a running knee! Kenny tried to push himself up to his knees only for Tommy to put him in a headlock and drop him with a Double Arm DDT! Tommy turned Kenny onto his back before going for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 KENNY KICKED OUT! Tommy couldn't believe it!
"NO!" Frylock exclaimed. "THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST IS STILL ALIVE!"
"And Tommy doesn't like it ONE BIT!" Shake said, pointing out the grimace on Tommy's face. The Harwood Butcher then stood up. . .
. . .
. . .and NAILED Kenny in the side of the head with another kick to the side of his head! Tommy then followed that up with a series of stomps to Kenny's back!
"The Harwood Butcher's offense remains strike-based, but he is just stomping the LIFE out of Kenny McCormick!" Frylock observed.
"Way to keep him grounded, champ!" Shake cheered, as Tommy pulled Kenny up by his coat and went for a right hand. . .
. . .
. . .but Kenny caught it and wrenched on Tommy's arm before knocking him down with a roundhouse kick! The South Park Extremist then leapt onto the ropes before jumping onto the top rope. . .
. . .AND SUCCESSFULLY LANDING A 450 SPLASH ONTO TOMMY VERCETTI!
"WHAT AN AERIAL ATTACK FROM THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST!" Frylock called, as Kenny went for the quick cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .TREVOR BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT!
"THE CRAZY GUY JUST BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT FOR THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!" Frylock called. "Moments like this leave the question in mind. . .do Tommy Vercetti and the Three Crest Empire have an alliance?"
"Cut the conspiracy theories, Frylock!" Shake scoffed. "He only broke up the pin because he wants another W in the win column!"
Stan and Kyle looked on from their corner with their eyes narrowed at Trevor Phillips, who held his hands up in protest before backing up to his corner. Meanwhile, Kenny pulled Tommy up to a standing position and nailed him with a three-punch combination to daze him before sliding downward and sending the World Heavyweight Champion flying into a nearby corner with a Monkey Flip! Kenny then charged toward the corner and drove Tommy into it with a running corner clothesline before putting him in a headlock. . .
. . .
. . .AND DRIVING HIM HEAD-FIRST INTO THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A RUNNING BULLDOG! Kenny then ran toward the ropes in front of him. . .
. . .
. . .AND LANDED A SPRINGBOARD LEG DROP ACROSS THE CHEST OF THE CHAMPION!
"KENNY IS KEEPING UP THE AERIAL ASSAULT ON THE CHAMPION!" Frylock exclaimed. "WILL THAT BE ALL?!"
The South Park Extremist went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.5 TOMMY KICKED OUT!
"AND TOMMY VERCETTI JUST GETS THE SHOULDER UP!" Frylock called. "So far, the Harwood Butcher is slow in his first showing since Shockwave. . .can he pick up the pace?"
"Of course he can, Frylock!" Shake replied. "He just has some ring rust, no thanks to our Commissioner."
Kenny then ran toward the ropes in front of him again. . .
. . .
. . .and went for a springboard moonsault. . .
. . .
. . .BUT TOMMY CAUGHT HIM IN MID-AIR BEFORE SLAMMING HIM DOWN WITH A POWERSLAM!
"THERE IT IS!" Shake exclaimed. "NOW Tommy's feelin' it!"
Indeed, rather than going for the cover, Tommy pulled himself up to a standing position and lifted Kenny's leg high off the mat before ramming it against the canvas with a knee smash! The Harwood Butcher then began to MUDHOLE STOMP the legs of Kenny McCormick!
"Now Tommy's aiming to clip the proverbial wings off the South Park Extremist!" Frylock called, as Tommy continued to do so as the crowd chanted, "TOMMY SUCKS! TOMMY SUCKS! TOMMY SUCKS!"
"Hey now, this is great strategy from the Harwood Butcher!" Shake attested. "These people don't know tact if it slapped them in the face with a dildo!"
Tommy then pulled Kenny up by the coat and Irish whipped him across the ring. Kenny limped off the bounceback and right into a swinging neckbreaker from Tommy! The Harwood Butcher then went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .KYLE BROKE UP THE THREE COUNT! Tommy stared DAGGERS into the eyes of the South Park Submitter, who returned to his corner, turning the Harwood Butcher's attention back toward his opponent. Tommy pulled Kenny up by the hood of his coat, and shouting, "HOW'S THIS FOR RIGHTEOUS?" at the fans before sitting him on his shoulders and stepping toward his corner. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE DROPPING KENNY ON HIS HEAD WITH A REVERSE DEATH VALLEY!
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Shake cringed. "THAT'S GONNA LEAVE A MARK! And piss off a certain rockstar on top of that!"
"But Tommy's STILL not through!" Frylock observed, as the Harwood Butcher pulled a dazed Kenny up to his feet and chucked him against the ring ropes on the adjacent side
. . .
. . .BEFORE RUNNING AFTER HIM AND DROPPING HIM IN THE CENTER OF THE RING WITH A URANGE!
"GOOD LORD!" Frylock screamed. "TOMMY'S TOSSING KENNY AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL!"
"HAHAHAHAHA!" Shake laughed. "I LOVE IT, FRYLOCK! THE NEW TOMMY HAS AN APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION!"
The Harwood Butcher went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 KENNY KICKED OUT! TOMMY PUNCHED THE MAT IN FRUSTRATION!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Frylock yelled. "KENNY STILL WON'T QUIT, MUCH TO THE CHAGRIN OF THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!"
"This means we're gonna see him inflict MORE punishment!" Shake exclaimed. "I AM SO EXCITED!"
Tommy then pulled Kenny up and Irish whipped him HARD across the ring before going for another Lou Thesz Press on the bounceback. . .
. . .
. . .BUT KENNY BASEBALL SLID UNDER IT! Tommy rose up and turned around to face the South Park Extremist, who whipped him into a nearby corner with flying headscissors! A dazed Harwood Butcher then pulled himself up to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL KENNY DROPPED HIM ONTO HIS KNEES WITH A BACKSTABBER! Tommy clenched his lower back after the impact. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE KENNY DROPPED HIM ON HIS KNEE WITH AN INVERTED HEADLOCK BACKBREAKER!
"THE SOUTH PARK EXTREMIST HAS ANOTHER BREATH OF LIFE, AND HE'S USING IT TO TELL THE WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION EXACTLY HOW HE FEELS ABOUT HIM!" Frylock called, as Kenny went for the cover, hooking the leg! 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .2.75 TOMMY KICKED OUT! KENNY SHOT UP FROM THE COVER IN DISBELIEF!
"OH MY GOD HOW CLOSE WAS THAT?" Frylock asked, as Kenny willed himself up to a standing position. . .
. . .
. . .and raised four fingers up, which Stan and Kyle did as well in their corner. . .
. . .
. . .before throwing Tommy onto the second rope!
"Kenny McCormick is shooting his shot for victory right here and now!" Frylock said, as the South Park Extremist ran toward the ropes. . .
. . .
. . .and gripped them before spinning around. . .
. . .
. . .AND-WHIFFING ON THE 303 AFTER TOMMY ROLLED OUT OF THE WAY! Kenny pulled himself onto a standing position on the ring apron. . .
. . .
. . .UNTIL TOMMY DROPPED HIM ON THE RING APRON WITH ANOTHER URANGE!
"THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION JUST MURDERED KENNY'S BACK FROM THE INSIDE OF THE RING!" Shake screamed. "TALK ABOUT RUTHLESS!"
The crowd FURIOUSLY booed the Harwood Butcher. . .
. . .but cheered once Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski tried to bullrush him-
-ONLY FOR TOMMY TO TAKE THEM BOTH DOWN WITH A DOUBLE CLOTHESLINE!
"THE CAVALRY CAME IN THE FORM OF STAN AND KYLE, BUT THE HARWOOD BUTCHER SAW 'EM COMING!" Frylock called, as The South Park Leader and Submitter rolled out of the ring. . .
. . .
. . .just in time for Kenny to pull himself back into the ring and slide under the bottom rope. The Harwood Butcher then pulled Kenny up before hooking his arms. . .
. . .
. . .then lifting him up. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE DROPPING HIM WITH THE VERCETTI DRIVER!
"AND THERE'S THE VERCETTI DRIVER!" Frylock screamed, before Tommy went for the cover, 1. . .
. . .
2. . .
. . .
. . .3!
"AND TOMMY VERCETTI GETS THE WIN!" Frylock shouted, as the crowd EXPLODED with boos and Tommy sat up from the cover with a smirk on his face while the bell rang!
"The winners of this match. . .the team of Franklin Clinton. . .Trevor Phillips. . .and the Xtreme Cartoon Wrestling Heavyweight Champion of the WOOOOOOOORLD. . .'The Harwood Butcher'. . .TOMMY VERCETTI!"
The referee raised Tommy's arm in victory, until he ripped it out of his grasp and ordered him to grab his championship belt. The Harwood Butcher then turned around and shouted, "HEY GUYS," grabbing the attention of Trevor and Franklin, who then heard him say. . .
. . .
". . .GRAB THIS PIECE OF SHIT."
"NOW WAIT A DAMN MINUTE!" Frylock screamed. "Why the hell is Tommy Vercetti directing traffic?
"He's looking to make ONE MORE STATEMENT before Abolishment, Frylock!" Shake replied, as Trevor and Franklin stomped a mudhole into Kenny's prone body, allowing Tommy to rip the protective padding off the top turnbuckle! Franklin and Trevor then pulled Kenny up in a powerbomb formation. . .
. . .
. . .THEN WAITED FOR TOMMY TO JOIN THEM. . .
. . .
. . .BEFORE LIFTING KENNY UP. . .
. . .
. . .AND IMPALING KENNY ON THE EXPOSED TOP TURNBUCKLE WITH THE EMPIRE BOMB!
"OH MY GOD! THEY KILLED KENNY!" Frylock screamed.
"YOU BASTARDS!" Shake added, as Tommy, Franklin, and Trevor looked on at their work with sadistic satisfaction as the crowd CONTINUED to boo the trio. . .who then gave each other high fives!
"I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!" Frylock yelled. "TOMMY DOES HAVE AN ALLIANCE WITH THE THREE CREST EMPIRE!"
"Whatever kind of alliance it is, they let Tommy pick up the win himself, Frylock!" Shake reminded. "There's NO denying THAT!"
"SHAKE, DON'T GIVE THEM THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT HERE!" Frylock exclaimed. "FOR THE LONGEST TIME, TOMMY DENIED, AND DENIED, AND DENIED ANY SORT OF RELATIONSHIP WITH THE THREE CREST EMPIRE, AND NOW THEY'RE DOING HIS BIDDING!"
"They're helping him send a message LOUD and CLEAR to Tai Kamiya!" Shake said as Tommy gestured for a microphone. "I'll beat you fair and square this Sunday. . .then I'LL KILL YA!"
Upon receiving a microphone, Tommy stepped back into the center of the ring and began to speak.
"Let me make one thing PERFECTLY clear before you idiots jump to conclusions. . ." Tommy said, to venomous boos from the crowd, ". . .the Three Crest Empire and I are an alliance. . .BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU THINK. We're no Knighthood or They go their way. . .just as I go mine. But if I need something done. . .they'll do it for me. And what you just saw was a MESSAGE. . .TO TAI KAMIYA. And that message. . .is that THIS SUNDAY AT ABOLISHMENT, I'm gonna fight you MY WAY. . .AND PROVE THAT I'M BETTER THAN YOU BY. . .MY. . .SELF. Then when it's all said and done, and the XCW World Heavyweight Championship remains on my shoulder.. . .my friends in the Three Crest Empire and I. . .we're gonna KILL YOU in cold blood. Right here in front of these dumbasses, in front of YOUR WIFE, IN FRONT OF YOUR FRIENDS, IN FRONT OF THE MCDONALDS HAPPY MEAL IN THE COMMENTARY DESK-"
"HEY! I'M BIGGER THAN A HAPPY MEAL, ASSHOLE!" Shake snapped, as Tommy continued to rattle off names while the crowd had ERUPTED WITH MORE BOOS. . .
. . .
. . .but they soon turned to CHEERS. . .
. . .
. . .WHEN TAI KAMIYA SPRINTED DOWN THE RAMP!
"NO KIDDING!" Frylock shouted. "HERE COMES TAI KAMIYA! AND HE LOOKS ABSOLUTELY INCENSED!"
Tai slid into the ring. . .
. . .AND TACKLED TOMMY DOWN, CLAWING AT HIS FACE AND HAMMERING AWAY AT IT WITH THUNDEROUS RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS!
"THE ROOF OF THE DIMMSDALE DIMMADOME HAS EXPLODED, AND SO HAS TAI KAMIYA!" Frylock yelled unintelligibly. "HE'S GONE BERSERK, AND I DON'T BLAME HIM ONE BIT!"
"SOMEBODY GET SOME SECURITY OUT HERE!" Shake demanded. "IT'S ABSOLUTE CHAOS!"
Trevor and Franklin were quick to pull a now-busted open Tommy out from under Tai. . .
. . .
. . .BUT TOMMY RESPONDED BY THROWING RIGHT AND LEFT HANDS OF HIS OWN!
"TOMMY WANTS TO RETURN THE FAVOR!" Frylock yelled. "THESE TWO MEN DON'T WANT TO WAIT FOR ABOLISHMENT TO GET THEIR HANDS ON EACH OTHER!"
Tai and Tommy continued to brawl in the center of the ring. . .
. . .
. . .until Kyle and Stan entered the ring and were able to pull Tai away from Tommy. . .
. . .
. . .ONLY FOR TAI TO BREAK FREE FROM THEIR GRASP AND LUNGE FOR TOMMY, CONTINUING THEIR BRAWL!
"THIS IS NO LONGER JUST ABOUT THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP!" Frylock declared. "TAI AND TOMMY JUST WANT TO DESTROY EACH OTHER!"
"THE GANG'S ALL HERE, FRYLOCK! LOOK!" Shake pointed out. . .
. . .
. . .AS THE ENTIRE XCW LOCKER ROOM RAN DOWN THE RAMP AND ENTERED THE RING, TRYING TO PULL BOTH TAI AND TOMMY APART! Meanwhile, the entire crowd began to chant, "LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!"
"For ONCE, I agree with this crowd!" Shake said, as a now-bloodied Tai LUNGED toward Tommy, and tackled him down again! "LET THESE TWO KILL EACH OTHER!"
"IT IS ABSOLUTE ANARCHY HERE IN DIMMSDALE, CALIFORNIA!" Frylock exclaimed. "IS THIS A PREVIEW OF WHAT TO EXPECT IN TWIN PEAKS ON SUNDAY, WHEN TAI KAMIYA AND TOMMY VERCETTI FIGHT FOR THE XCW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP?"
Both the face and heel halves of the XCW locker room continued to try and pull Tai and Tommy apart respectively, as the two enemies thrashed and threw insults and right hands at each other until Monday Night Massacre went off the air!
Results
Sora Takenouchi defeated Sawyer The Cleaner
The Wild Dudes (Mordecai and Rigby) defeated The Kings of Greatness (Mario and Spongebob Squarepants) in a No-Disqualification Match
Rolf defeated Claude Speed to retain the XCW Hardcore Championship
Bugs Bunny, Ren and Stimpy defeated The Knighthood of Assassins (Hotsuma, Sweet Tooth and Solid Snake)
Tommy Vercetti, Franklin Clinton and Trevor Phillips defeated The South Park Four (Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick)
XCW Abolishment Card
Kickoff Show: Yuna and Rikku vs. The Elwood City Strikers (Francine Frensky and Sue Ellen w/Muffy Crosswire)
Kickoff Show: Spike Spiegel vs. Joffrey Baratheon
The Wild Dudes (Mordecai and Rigby) vs. The Knighthood of Assassins (Scorpion and Sub-Zero)(c) in a No-Disqualification match for the XCW Tag Team Championships
The Knighthood of Assassins (Hotsuma, Sweet Tooth, Solid Snake, Parker Crane and Jack Torrance) vs. The South Park Four (Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski and Kenny McCormick) and Ren and Stimpy in an Abolishment Elimination Tag Team match
Rolf (c) vs. Ramsay Bolton in a Hardcore match for the XCW Hardcore Championship
Sora Takenouchi (c) vs. Casey Lynch for the XCW Women's Championship
Arthur Read (w/Smokey The Bear)(c) vs. Mario (w/Spongebob Squarepants) for the XCW World Television Championship
Bugs Bunny vs. Daffy Duck in an I Quit match (if Bugs loses, he must join the Knighthood of Assassins)
Claude Speed and The Mask vs. The Bohan Badasses (Carl "CJ" Johnson and Niko Bellic w/Brucie)
MAIN EVENT: Tai Kamiya vs. Tommy Vercetti (c) for the XCW World Heavyweight Championship
Aaaaaaaaaaaand just like THAT, XCW IS ABOLISHMENT BOUND! As always, let me know what you think of my booking, and if my storylines and/or characters are inconsistent anywhere.
Also, before I go, I would like to announce that there IS a prediction contest in place for Abolishment! Whoever guesses the most winners of each match correctly along with the bonus questions to be posted below will receive a special prize via PM! Good luck to all who decide to participate!
Bonus Questions
1. Who will be the survivor(s) in the Abolishment elimination tag team match?
2. Who do you think attacked D-Generation Ed before their entrance in the Tag Team Turmoil match at Shockwave?
3. Will the Three Crest Empire get involved in the XCW World Heavyweight Championship match?
Thanks for reading! The Abolishment pre-show will come in due time, but until then, please READ, REACT, PREDICT AND REEEEEEEEEEVIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!
