Suguha recognized the familiar realm of her dreams. Leafa stepped before her.

"Hey, Sugu! How's it go-"

Suguha punched Leafa with a hard smack.

"What the heck was that about?" she said. "Do you have any idea how hard it is already to keep myself from losing control around him? And now I have to babysit you?"

"Woah, chill out!" Leafa threw her hands up in surrender. "I was just having fun! You should try it!"

"Gng… you keep doing this! You embarrass me in front of him and make me pay the consequences!"

"Are you sure about that?" Leafa walked right up to her face. "Or are you just denying that you like the taste of his lips?"

"What the…?"

"You've tasted them before, right?" Leafa leaned up to Suguha's ear. "And you couldn't get enough, could you?"

Suguha brushed her off.

"What is wrong with everybody? First Klein, then Rika, and now my alter ego? Why does everybody want me to hook up with my brother?"

"Because you want to hook up with your brother!" Leafa cackled. "Come on, enjoy him! He's the one, you know!"

"There is no such thing as…"

Real-world.

Kazuto blinked open his eyes as his natural clock started gently tugged him away from his slumber. The next thing you know, he's staring into a pair of large eyes.

"Gah!" he sat up quickly. To his surprise, a full-sized Yui was laying down in the bed next to him."

"Good morning, Kazuto!" she said. Suguha also began to stir. "Look! I have enough energy to return to my regular form!"

"How does that even work?" said Kazuto. He shook his head. "Nevermind… the second I start questioning these things, I'll end up thinking something super weird. If the online theorist community is any hint."

"...the one!" exclaimed Suguha. Kazuto gave her a strange look, causing her to blush again.

She groaned got up out of the closet.

"I am going to kill Rika. My back hurts. I am still going to kill Rika. I need breakfast. Then I'll kill Rika."

Kazuto stretched.

"Alright, let's start whipping something up. Hopefully, Rika has her kitchen stocked."

Speaking of which, Rika, Klein, and Keiko came walking down the stairs.

"Morning you two," said Klein.

"How was your lover's night?" said Keiko.

"What the… you too, Keiko?" said Suguha.

"It's getting really annoying."

"It's also bad for team cohesion," said Yui.

"Who's side are you on?!"

"Hey, do you guys hear something?" said Klein.

"Hm?"

They could hear footsteps from the kitchen.

"Uh-oh…" said Rika. She drew her hook. "Let's be quiet. Transforming will make too much noise."

"Got it." Suguha whispered.

The five heroes slowly crept through the hallway, getting closer and closer to the kitchen door.

"I can see you, you know."

The five of them jumped when they noticed Sinon leaning against the door.

"Sinon!" said Kazuto. "Link Star-"

She delivered a quick punch to the face before he could finish speaking.

"Transformation is a free action, but talking isn't," she smiled. "I really like this form. It feels so… calm."

"How did you get out?" said Rika.

Yuuki walked out of the kitchen in her normal form.

"Don't underestimate the power of self-defense classes!"

"Why you…" Suguha took a defensive stance. "What are you planning next?"

"We're just guarding Asuna while she makes breakfast," said Sinon.

"Breakfast?"

"We haven't eaten anything for nearly twenty hours!" Yuuki crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not fighting until I get something with at least two hundred calories!"

"That's fine by us!" Suguha drew her sword, but Kazuto placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Hold on!" he said. "Let's take this slowly."

"What?" said Suguha. "They escaped! We need to…"

Suguha's stomach rumbled.

"Urp!"

"We eat first," said Klein. "Then we fight." Kazuto nodded in agreement.

"So…" said Yuuki. "Breakfast stalemate?"

"Breakfast stalemate," said Rika.

Asuna leaned out into the hallway.

"Uh… does this mean…?"

"Five more omelets!" said Yuuki.

"Okay." Asuna shrugged. "But I'm gonna need your help with that. Hey, how about you, Suguha? You were always pretty good in cooking class!"

"Uh… sure," said Suguha.

Before long, Suguha and Asuna were side by side in the kitchen. Asuna was busy tossing something about in a pan while Suguha was cutting a generic vegetable.

"Oh, make sure to hold the vegetable with your fingers tilted inwards so you don't cut yourself," said Asuna.

"Really? Thanks!" Suguha adjusted her hand accordingly. "You're really good at this, Asuna."

"Aw, thanks!" Asuna giggled. "You know, I maxed out my cooking skill in SAO too."

"Seriously?" Suguha raised an eyebrow. "Wow, I bet you must have at least an entire harem of boys."

"Sort of," said Asuna. "I usually turn them down though. I just don't really feel like dating anyone. Although, maybe Kazuto..."

"What?" The serenity drained from Suguha's face.

"I mean… he's strong, clever, friendly… and he's sweet too! And Kirito… I can't even begin to describe how powerful he looks.`` Asuna sighed. "Then again, it could just be the… yandere me."

"Uh… yeah, let's go with that!" Suguha chuckled nervously. "Yeah, he's way too dense for you! Don't worry, some other guy will show up and you can forget about onii-chan!"

"Well, if you say so." Asuna shrugged.

Cooking montage

So, the five Heroes of the Fairy Dance and three Heroes of Aincrad sat down to eat.

"Mmph!," Kazuto crammed another bite in his mouth. "This is really good, Asuna!"

"Why thank you!" Asuna smiled sweetly. Suguha was busy staring daggers into the two of them. Yui, on the other hand, was idly eating without so much as a word

Rika gave Pina a small dish of cat food before turning to Keiko.

"You know, you should really get that cat spayed. I think she's going into heat."

"Pina's unspayed?" Keiko raised an eyebrow.

"A girl can tell if another girl is wanting," said Rika. "For instance, I can also clarify that you're going into heat as well!"

"Meow could you know that?" Keiko covered her mouth when the cat noise came out. "Oh no, not again!"

"Huh?" Sinon and Yuuki gave questioning looks.

"Keiko's a little unique. Since her weapon is her cat, Pina, she turns into a Neko over time if she doesn't transform!" Rika giggled.

"Don't just say it! It's ermbwarassing! I mean, embarrassing! Gyah!" Keiko took a swig of water.

"It's kinda cute," said Yuuki "Especially when you get those little ears!"

"Stop it!"

Everybody laughed a little bit, feeling the tension from their previous battle lift off their shoulders.

"By the way, Yui," said Kazuto. "Why did you call me… dad?"

"Uh…" Yui cleared her throat. "I possess a self-governing function that induces me to classify egos by particular moniker strings depending on particular variables moreover characteristics of my involvement amidst them."

"Huh?" said Suguha. But Kazuto seemed to understand completely.

"But still, such a program would presuppose that you absolutely designate me essentially..."

The rest of the table watched as they exchanged heartfelt technobabble.