51
BPOV
Leaving my brothers standing at the base of the cement steps had been much harder than I thought it was going to be. I knew they didn't understand why I needed to talk to our parents. Fuck, I didn't even really understand. All I really knew was that my parents had come back for the second day to watch me fight, to support me in the only way I would let them. While I knew that I was far from being able to forgive them for everything they had put me through, I had to be the first one to make a move.
Edward tightened his grip on my hand as we took each step. My legs felt like they got heavier as I slowly climbed my way to the top. Finally, we made it up to the row where my parents were sitting, watching me with bated breaths as we came up to them. They both stood up but didn't say anything. My father looked like he had aged at least five years in the few months since I had seen them last. Nolan's normally well kept blond hair looked shaggy, much like Jasper's. His eyes were surrounded by deep, purple circles and he looked exhausted. Corrine looked even worse. She had lost weight, at least a good ten pounds. She also had purple circles under her eyes and her dark hair had been lazily pulled up into a messy ponytail.
"You both look like shit," I finally said. My mother shifted her eyes to the ground while my father nodded his head.
"You look beautiful," whispered Corrine. She looked back up at me. "I like the blue hair."
I nodded my head. "It was always your favorite color," I murmured. "That's why I picked it."
"Oh," she said, quietly, bringing her arms up, wrapping them around herself.
"Why are you here?" I asked, desperately. I could feel the tears building in my eyes but I didn't care.
"We came to watch you fight," said Nolan, placing his hands on my mother's shoulders. "We didn't mean to bother you, Isab…Bella."
"Have you been here all three days?" I asked.
"Yes," he said. I nodded my head.
"Why…" I trialed off as a tear fell from my eyes. "Just why?"
"Because we love to watch you fight," cried Corrine. "You have always been such a beautiful fighter. Naturally graceful."
"You destroyed my life," I whispered. "You know that, right?"
"We do," muttered Nolan. "We didn't mean to, but we know that we did."
"I can't trust you," I whispered. "I may never be able to."
"We know," said Corrine.
"I want to be able to, though," I muttered. "But you don't understand what I went through every day for two years."
"We wish we could take it all back," said Nolan.
"You can't," I whispered. Edward let go of my hand and slipped his arm around my waist. I looked up at him, smiling in gratitude. "Edward saved me from…all of it. From giving up completely and letting myself drown in the fear that crippled me."
"Then we are very grateful to you, Edward," said my father. I shifted my eyes back over to him and my mother. They both seemed sincere enough.
"I love her," said Edward. "Very much. I won't let anyone hurt her ever again. Not even you."
"Good," nodded Nolan. He looked back down at me. "You have a big day today."
"Yeah," I murmured. "Not sure where I am going to find the strength to fight. My body is fucking killing me."
"You'll find it," he said. "Dig deep and you'll find it."
"I should probably go," I said, looking back down at the main floor. My brothers were still standing next to the bottom of the stairs, watching us. I turned my eyes back up to my parents. "Maybe I could call you sometime or…"
"We'd like that," smiled Corrine. "A lot."
"Yeah, ok, I should go," I muttered. I turned and walked down a couple of steps before stopping and looking back at them. "Be careful, ok?"
"We will," said Nolan. "Keep your elbows in and-"
"My feet moving," I finished for him, smiling. "I remember."
"Bella," he whispered.
"I know," I murmured. "I have to go."
Turning back, I rushed down the stairs with Edward following me closely. I ignored the questionable looks coming off of my brothers as I made my way over to my ring. I turned back to Edward, throwing my arms around his neck and taking a deep, shaky breath. My emotions were all over the place and I wasn't sure how to get control of them. Edward held me as tight as he could, pressing his lips down onto my ear.
"It's ok, love," he whispered. "Use it in your matches."
"Edward," I whimpered, clutching onto any part of him that I could.
"I know," he whispered. "Use it."
I leaned back just enough to press my lips against his once, twice, then a third time. Wiping all the tears off my face, I turned to my brothers and held out my hands. Neither Jasper nor Emmett said anything as they started taping my hands. Carlisle was sitting on the bench next to the ring, elbows rested on his knees and his face buried in his hands. He had hurt me this morning when he questioned my decision to sleep with Edward. I had earned the right to make that choice for myself, and it hurt that he didn't trust me. Not after everything that I had been through.
I turned away from Carlisle as Jasper shoved my gloves onto my hands, still not uttering a word to me. Emmett placed my head gear on and shoved in my mouth piece. Maybe they thought that I had somehow betrayed them by going up and talking with my parents but they didn't understand. Sure, they had been hurt by them but I've been the one who replayed every moment of that hell over and over, not them. I looked back at Edward before I climbed into the ring and prepared to fight my first of three matches today. If I won all three, I would make it into the final match and fight for the championship tonight. Our fields had narrowed down enough now, that we were no longer numbers but people with actual names. As I looked across the ring, I found myself getting ready to fight a girl by the name of Simone Jacobs.
Simone was taller than me but not by much. She had a head full of dark, auburn hair and pale, freckled skin. Her dark eyes were bright as she took in every inch of me, smirking as she looked over at her trainer. Clearly, the bitch thought she had some kind of advantage over me. She did not. The referee called us to meet in the middle of the ring. I kept my eyes locked on her as I moved over, bumped her gloves with mine and agreed to fight nicely.
Moving back over to my corner, I turned and looked back at Edward. He smiled and nodded his head, silently telling me to kick this bitch's ass. The referee started our match and I snapped my head over to Simone. She shot out of her corner, set on attacking me early and taking me out quickly. Neither of those were going to happen.
Simone threw her left roundhouse at me, which I blocked, and tried to counter with a right jab, which I also blocked. I shoved her into the ropes and brought my gloves up. A tremor of fear shook through her as she realized that I was in this for the kill. She blocked the right hook I threw but was unable to stop my left jab. She groaned around the mouth piece in her mouth but I didn't let up.
Over and over I pummeled my opponent, taking out weeks, months, years worth of anger out on her. She dropped to the mats, covering her head with her hands and crying out for me to stop. I dropped to my knees next to her, throwing my right hook, a left jab, followed by a gut shot. The referee pulled me off of her and threw me into my corner. I turned and looked down at my brother, feeling all the hurt from earlier building up. Once the referee declared me the winner, I climbed out of the rings, spitting my mouth piece out and taking the two strides so that I was face to face with him. Fear oozed off of Carlisle.
"You listen here, you fucking bastard," I snapped, lunging for him. However, Ed pulled me back and Carlisle staggered back two feet. "You don't get to tell me that I am not ready. You don't get to tell me that it's not my choice to make, you stupid motherfucker."
"Bella, sweetheart, calm down," ordered Ed, shoving me back into Edward's arms. However, he dropped his arms, prepared to let me fight this out on my own.
"Car, you hurt me," I said, shortly. "You made me second guess how I felt, how he felt, and that wasn't fair."
Carlisle dropped his head, looking down at the floor. "I know," he muttered. "I just don't want you to get hurt."
"Edward is not going to hurt me, Carlisle," I sighed. "One day, when we are both ready, we are going to get married and have babies. We-"
"Babies?" snapped Emmett. I looked over at him and saw him glaring at Edward.
"Em-"
"Fuck, no," he exclaimed. "There will be no having babies."
"You can't tell me that we can't have a baby," I snorted.
"You have to have sex to have a baby, Bella," he spat, cringing at the thought of me and Edward together like that. "Since you are never having sex, you can't have a baby."
"Emmett Cullen," snapped Rose. He snapped his head around and looked at her. She, Alice, Esme, and Elisabeth were standing behind my brothers, glaring the fuck out of the back of their heads. "You are such an ass. Bella is an adult, who can make her own choices. If and when she and Edward are ready to take that step, it will be a decision that they are going to make together. It's none of your concern. Besides, that would make you a hypocrite, wouldn't it?"
"How?" challenged Emmett, folding his arms in front of his chest. Rose narrowed her eyes at my brother and I swear, he flinched back.
"Because you and I were younger and a whole hell of lot dumber than they are when we started having sex," she hissed.
"Ew," I muttered, cringing.
"Perhaps, this is not the time nor the place to be having this discussion," suggested Elizabeth, moving over in the middle of our little circle. "It's not like they are having sex, anyway."
Carlisle and Esme both looked up and right at me and Edward. Of course, everyone noticed this and turned and looked back at us. One by one, I could see understanding spring up on everyone's faces. Emmett and Jasper shared Carlisle's outrage that we had dared make this decision for us while Rose and Alice, seemed more concerned with keeping my brothers from ripping his head off.
"Oh," said Elizabeth. She looked at Ed, who looked shocked, before turning back to me and Edward. "I'm not sure what to say."
I wasn't sure what to say either. While I didn't regret the decision to sleep with Edward, not by a long shot, I wasn't prepared for it to become everyone's business. Especially when we were all standing in the middle of the arena, waiting for our next match to start. Edward slipped his arm from around my waist and brought it up to his hair, running his fingers through his soft locks.
"Look, this isn't the place to discuss this but I want to make one thing clear to all of you," he said. "Bella and I did not rush into this. We, both she and I, made this decision together. We were safe and that is all that should matter."
"By safe, you mean that you used protection, right?" asked Jasper, jaw clenched tight.
"Of course, we did, you idiot," I snapped. "You aren't fucking retarded."
"You don't seem to be making very rational decisions, Bella," he hissed. "You aren't ready."
"Leave her alone," said Carlisle, forcefully. Everyone snapped their heads over to him. "She and Edward are right. This is none of our concern or business. They have earned our trust and respect." He paused as he stepped over to me, pulling me into his arms. "I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, Bell."
"Next time, I'm kicking your ass," I muttered, feeling everyone watching us.
"I'd deserve it," he sighed. He pulled back and stuck his hand out to Edward. "I'm sorry, Edward. I'll trust you to take care of her."
"Good."
Edward shook my brother's hand quickly before dropping it and looking down at me. To anyone who didn't know him, they would think he was calm and collected but I knew better. He was scared shitless and barely hanging on. He didn't expect all of this to come out like this either, I'm sure. I sighed, placing my glove-covered hand on his shoulder and silently telling him I understood. Today was already proving to be a weird one.
"Ok, we'll deal with this later," said Elizabeth, clearly shaken. "Right now, they both have a tournament to win."
"Right," muttered Ed, clearing his throat as he looked over at his son. "Let's get you ready, Edward."
Edward nodded his head before following Carlisle and Ed around to the other side of the his ring and let them get his hands taped and gloved. Emmett and Jasper both stood there motionless, glaring at him and me. It was ridiculous that they were both acting the way they were considering that they both had been having sex with their girlfriends for years. I ignored them as I pulled my gloves off and took a seat, waiting for Edward's match to start. Esme moved over and sat down next to me, crossing her legs and folding her arms in front of her chest.
For several minutes, neither me nor Esme said anything. She was watching Carlisle get Edward ready for his match while I watched Rose and Alice lecturing Emmett and Jasper about double standards and equality between me and them. Blah, Blah, Blah. I wasn't naive enough to believe that things would ever be equal between me and my brothers, at least not in their eyes. I would always be their baby sister, the one they did everything they could to save.
"I'm sorry," muttered Esme. I looked over at her. She was still watching Edward and Carlisle, who was knelt down in front of Edward and giving him a peep talk. "I forget that he isn't that scrawny little kid anymore." Esme smiled as she looked over at me. "We don't want you and Edward to feel like we don't trust you," she said.
"But you don't," I added.
"We do," she said, quickly. I raised an eyebrow, disbelievingly. "We really do, Bella. It's just…It's hard to see you and Edward growing up, not needing us anymore. I can't speak for Carlisle but Edward's been the center of my world since he was born." Esme smiled as she looked over at him. "I was a lonely girl, being dragged around from one post to the next. When he was born, I had friend. No matter where we moved, he was my friend. My only friend."
"Do you think that is going to change?" I asked.
Esme looked over at me. "It already has," she said. "It's not a bad change, Bella, but it has changed. Edward doesn't need me to comfort him when he upset about something, or need me to talk with anymore. He has you and I have Carlisle. I have even made friends with Rose and Alice, lord help me."
"They aren't so bad," I murmured.
"No, they aren't," she admitted. "But having friends, family other than my bother and my parents is new to me, too."
"It's scary, isn't it?" I asked. "To let your walls down and accept them into your life."
"Terrifying," she whispered. "But worth it."
"Esme," I said, quietly. "I…My brother may annoy the shit of me but I love him."
"I do, too," she smiled, placing her hand on top of mine. "You love Edward."
"I love him so much that it scares me," I whispered. "When he looks at me, the intensity alone shakes me up."
"I know the feeling," she murmured, looking over at Carlisle.
Edward stood up and climbed into the ring and all conversations between me and Esme, ceased. He stood tall in his corner, appraising his opponent. Gavin Parks was closer to Emmett's size than Edward's. He had dark, black hair that hung loosely out of his headgear and dark penetrating eyes. He was trying to stare Edward down but he wasn't having it.
As the referee started the match, I found myself mesmerized by him. His fighting style was nearly flawless. He kept his feet moving and his elbows tucked into his side, protecting himself. Edward never took his eyes off his prey, letting him fall into the trap that Edward was cleverly laying out for him. He was beautiful.
Edward and Gavin were in the middle of their second round, when Edward attacked, taking advantage of the lazy footwork from his competitor. Gavin fell back against the ropes as Edward hit him with a left jab/right roundhouse combination. He showed no mercy as he followed with right hook, left hook, left jab, and right gut check. His fists were moving so quickly that I could barely see them, barely anticipate the next move.
The referee pushed Edward off of his prey and knelt down to check on the poor boy. Edward looked back at me, chest heaving wildly and eyes burning right through me. There was no doubt in my mind that Edward and I had made the right decision the night before. I also knew that, one day, I would marry him.
