Chapter 39: Into the Unknown
He wasn't sure what would happen when he came back.
After he left his comfort zone to explore new territories, he had struggled with the memories of his past, the pleasure of validation and appreciation, the harsher pain of rejection and a glut of unexpected turmoil that overwhelmed everything else.
The fact that he had to return at some point, if only to confront his past and put things behind for good or ill, was a constant, pervading reminder he couldn't ignore. What he would do and how he would do it were questions that he couldn't answer, not as he was.
But there was no escaping the inevitable. He had to return. If he was going to return, he had to change.
It took him time, far more time than he thought to figure out what to say and who he wanted to be when he returned, but he did it. He struggled through harsh trials that challenged everything he was, and fought harder than he ever had to survive, to not die and be forgotten in the sands of time.
In doing so, he had been able to climb out of the hole he'd fallen into. He was able to return with fresh eyes and a stronger heart.
Realizing that he wasn't alone galvanized him and comforted him, because even if things didn't go as he expected they would, he'd be able to deal with the punches as they came and learn from them.
He returned. He won the battle against himself. And here he stood, ready to enter the unknown.
So after everything that happened, the fact that Kurenai hadn't seemed to change and the fact that she was acting like she was still his loving girlfriend was almost a slap in the face.
Everything Naruto fought for, all those tears he spilled and anguish he experienced couldn't have been for nothing, not after everything her lies put him through. She robbed him of so much, and it took all of his training to keep himself from exploding.
All of these feelings were bubbling within his mind, threatening to boil over, but he set his hands on the sink's edges and breathed in. They simmered and seethed, but in the end, he was able to let things go and become calm. With that calm, came clarity. And with that clarity, he was able to process what had happened.
It was better that he let her squirm, because he needed proof that she had been affected by him in some way, that it wasn't just a mission to her.
But he didn't get his proof through hearing her praise his progress or compliment his looks. He didn't get it by seeing her wear the bracelet he had given her, either. Admittedly, it had given him some pause. It was pretty nice that she'd kept it after all this time. It showed him that she still cared about their relationship. He remembered how emotional she got when he gave it to her, and he had a feeling she remembered, too.
It was also a gesture that let her remind him about she felt without having to say a word, something that gave him second thoughts. A clever ruse, but he saw right through it. He couldn't forget the possibility that she was acting.
However, he got what he wanted when he heard her apology. She cared enough to apologize for rejecting him, and she cared enough to make it sound and look sincere. He got his proof when she accepted his rejection with grace and understanding.
All this proved that he was wrong to assume that nothing had changed. He couldn't deny what was staring him in the face: she cared about him, and somehow, she was attracted to him.
In a weird way, it would have been easier if it was just a mission to her. If he saw that she was pregnant, for example, he would have sent her packing. He'd know for sure that she was just using him for the sake of her village, and he'd relish the chance to end their joke of a relationship.
But she wasn't pregnant. Things weren't that simple.
There were so many ways he imagined their conversation going, but it ended in a way that made things more complicated for him. He wasn't going to complain, though. When all was said and done, he'd make sure that everything was resolved, on his terms.
It had to be on his terms. This loyalty mission had been done without his say, without considering how it would affect him. He wasn't going to let them apologize for it unless he asked for their apology. He was done with being jerked around.
At the very least, some things about Kurenai were starting to make sense. She'd always been hesitant about getting intimate with him, and now he knew it wasn't his fault. She was afraid of herself. Maybe it had something to do with her mission.
Being afraid wasn't enough to explain everything, though, and speculating about her motives wouldn't solve a thing. After all, a more disturbing truth had made itself quite apparent during his reunion with his sensei.
His feelings for her hadn't waned a bit.
It was frightening, because even though he knew his feelings were still so strong, he thought he could move on. But they were still there, as fresh and vibrant as they had been when Kurenai became his girlfriend, and try as he might, he couldn't deny that fact.
That didn't mean he was going to crawl back to her. The web of lies that Kurenai spun to keep him ensnared in her clutches hadn't disappeared just because his feelings for her still lingered in his heart.
He just wished things weren't so complicated.
There was something missing when Naruto woke up the next day. It wasn't his rest: he'd slept well once he got used to the fact that he took more space in his bed. It wasn't the toothpaste in his mouth or the fragrance of the soap he used, since they were practically the same. It wasn't even the clothes he wore or the apartment itself.
No, it was the first time in nearly three years that he had woken up alone. Jiraiya had kept him company over the years, and when he left, Samui took his place. Now, he was back on his own. It was such a drag, but still, it was good to be home. He appreciated having a consistent place to stay.
After waiting three minutes for his ramen to boil – couldn't they have made an instant ramen that was actually instant? – he ate his breakfast on his table, enjoying it like he always had.
Kurenai had been courteous enough to stock his fridge and cupboards with fresh milk and instant ramen, along with some vegetables and rice so that he kept on top of his nutrition. Once he got into the groove of his missions, he tried to find time to cook his own meals, since rations wouldn't hack it and there were times where he couldn't eat at a restaurant. He couldn't let a lack of nutrition cut into his performance.
Maybe he'd thank Kurenai for maintaining his apartment, since she didn't have to do it, yet she did.
When he finished his breakfast, he cleaned his dishes and threw out his garbage in the nearby bin. Before he left for the village, he'd have to visit his landlord, so that he could figure out when his rent would be paid. He'd get his locks changed, as well, just to be safe.
It was a familiar routine that he fell into with ease, but he couldn't shake that feeling. Hopefully, Samui was coping with it better than he was. They'd be eating breakfast at this point. She was quiet when she ate, but she wasn't distant. She was always willing to answer any questions he had, and as they grew more familiar with each other, she started asking him questions, as well.
He grabbed his gear and left his apartment, locking the door behind him. He sensed his surroundings to see if his landlord was awake – he was – but someone else was making a beeline for his apartment.
They perched on the rails of his balcony, clad in the Leaf's ANBU uniform. The ninja was wearing a cat mask, and her purple hair was still long and lush.
"Good morning," Naruto said.
She nodded. "Good morning, and welcome back."
"You're on duty today, aren't you?" he asked.
She pushed her mask to the top of her head, revealing her brown eyes and heart-shaped face. "I am, but Lady Hokage gave me permission to reveal myself to you." She smiled. "It's good to see you, Naruto."
Naruto returned the smile. "You too, Yūgao."
Yūgao climbed onto the floor next to him. "How have the years been treating you?"
"Pretty well. I got to see a lot of different places and I made a bunch of good friends. I can't really complain. How about you?"
Yūgao beamed. "I got engaged to my boyfriend, Hayate."
Naruto's smile grew. "Really? Congratulations."
"Thank you," she said. "We haven't been much time to have a big wedding or anything, but we've already moved in together and made some plans to get everything settled."
In spite of his own troubles with romance, he wasn't so jaded that he couldn't appreciate two people finding love.
"When did you get engaged?"
Yūgao clutched her wrist, holding her hands beneath her waist. "Some time after our mission with the Crimson Hand ended. At the same time we returned to the Hidden Leaf, Hayate had returned from his own mission in the Land of Water. Even though his mission was a success, it took his toll on him. I'd never seen him so sick."
"Did he catch a disease or something?" Naruto asked.
She shook her head. "Hayate has a chronic illness. There's no cure for it as of now, but the symptoms are easy to treat. If I never heard him cough, it'd be easy to forget that he was even sick.
"However, Hayate sustained an injury that got infected, and it took him time for him to recover. After he did, he told me how the mission made him decide to stop leaving things for an uncertain future. As soon as he was cleared, he proposed to me. I accepted."
Naruto smiled. "That's really nice. I'm happy for you guys."
"I'm happy, too," she said. "He's a good man, and I've learned so much from him. Knowing that I can return to him gives me a bit more certainty whenever I'm away."
Yūgao had a point about certainty. The mere fact that he had a home to sleep in and return to was empowering in its own way, because rent aside, he had a place he could call his own.
Whether someone would join him in his apartment remained to be seen, but he had enjoyed the security and stability that came from a good woman watching his back.
"Have you guys gone on missions together?" Naruto asked.
Yūgao shook her head. "Unfortunately, no. I've been in ANBU for over a decade now, and Hayate never joined our ranks. His skills were better suited in the open. He did tutor me in kenjutsu, though."
"Cool," Naruto said.
"Speaking of kenjutsu, I see you've got yourself a tantō," Yūgao said, glancing at his hip.
"I thought about getting a katana, but this works better for me," Naruto said.
He unsheathed it, letting her take a good look at it. "I imagine you only need this for a close-range option, since it's not your main avenue of attack."
"Yeah, you're right. If I had a katana, I would have better control over the distance between me and my enemy, but with the tantō, I can slip past my enemy's defenses and put them under pressure."
Yūgao nodded. "You can also use it to score a clean kill after your genjutsu lands. More importantly, it gives you more space than a kunai would in case your target dispels your genjutsu. Fights can often come down to a matter of centimetres, but of course... I'm sure you know all this already."
Naruto smiled. "It's good to get a reminder, every now and then."
"Well, you're going to need it." Yūgao's expression turned serious. "Lady Hokage wants you to be at Training Ground Three tomorrow, at noon. Prepare to fight against a close-quarters specialist."
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Did she say who'd I'd be fighting?"
"No," Yūgao said. "However, I will say that you won't be fighting me."
Naruto let his hand fall to his side. His smile disappeared. "I'll be ready."
"Good. That's all I have for today, but I'll be sure to come visit when I have the time."
Naruto smiled. "Thanks, Yūgao. Have a nice day."
"Same to you." Yūgao put her mask back on, before she left him to his lonesome.
If he was going to fight someone, he had to get ready, and that meant there was no time to waste.
Naruto got things sorted out with his landlord. His apartment's locks had been changed, and now he knew when he'd have to pay his rent. It turned out that Tsunade had frozen his lease while he was away, which was pretty nice of her. He also found out that his landlord was familiar enough with Kurenai to let her inside his apartment, so he made sure that she couldn't enter without his explicit permission.
After that, he went to the waterfall he was so familiar with and trained. Along with his regular physical exercises, he also took a crack at figuring out how to combine Wind chakra with genjutsu. Nailing the right balance had been pretty tricky.
His problem was that he couldn't figure out the right balance of chakra to make it work. Using his sensor let him gauge how much chakra he was exerting, but it didn't give him the ratio he needed.
The genjutsu still had to affect his enemy, so it couldn't be overwhelmed by the elemental chakra. At the same time, using a little bit of elemental chakra would defeat the purpose of using this elemental genjutsu. He might as well use regular genjutsu, in that case.
In the end, he was able to figure it out with only a few hours of experimentation. Doing it was exactly how Kurenai had explained it: mould the genjutsu first before weaving the elemental ninjutsu around it, while making sure that the chakra ratio was equal. Once again, he had to thank Kurenai for her help.
For now, though, he'd keep his gratitude to himself.
There was a place he wanted to go to, but before he could go there, he marched to the waterfall and placed his hands inside it. With only a slight twist of his hands, Naruto sliced the waterfall in half. He pulled his hands back and dusted them off, smiling at his handiwork.
Last time he did this, he had been struggling with heartbreak and grief, and he flung himself into his training to escape it. He knew better than to do so now, but back then, he hadn't. Then Shizune had whisked him away to another mission, and things came tumbling down after that.
He didn't know much, back then, and to be honest, he still didn't know a lot. But he had to survive if he wanted to live, and he had to fight if he wanted to survive. Maybe there were would be a time where he didn't have to fight any more, but that day was far, far away.
In any case, he could take a break, so he left his little clearing and ran. It was almost noon, so it'd be easy to catch a nice lunch. However, someone was chasing after him, and when he sensed their chakra, he pulled to a stop at the edge of the forest. The man caught up to him in a couple of seconds, smiling widely.
"Running away from me, are you, Naruto? Is that any way to treat your sensei?"
Naruto grinned. "It's not my fault if you can't keep up, Pervy Sage."
Jiraiya laughed. "I didn't know you were a comedian, Naruto."
"Well, laugh it up," Naruto said, fighting the urge to laugh himself. "When did you get back?"
"This morning. I came to give Tsunade some important intel about the Akatsuki."
Naruto bristled. "What did you find?"
Jiraiya frowned. "They captured the Three-Tails."
A scowl split his face. "Really? What about the jinchūriki?"
"There wasn't a jinchūriki," Jiraiya said. "The Three-Tails' previous jinchūriki died over three years ago. The Three-Tails reformed recently and the Akatsuki struck."
Naruto swallowed down the nausea attacking his stomach. "That means they got two Tailed Beasts in less than two weeks."
Jiraiya crossed his arms. "I don't think this was a coincidence. They were testing how the Hidden Villages would react, by striking different places with different teams. Even if some of their ninja died, they would succeed if they managed to capture even one Tailed Beast."
It didn't sit well with him that the Akatsuki had grabbed another Tailed Beast right under his nose, but that proved that they had a really strong information network.
"Do you think they knew where Yugito would be?" Naruto asked.
"I doubt it, but it doesn't really matter, either. They saw an opportunity, and they struck, but thanks to you, they failed. The important thing is that we have more information about their ninja and we know how they operate."
Naruto nodded. "You're right. We have to take what we can get."
From what he knew, it took the Akatsuki about three days to extract a Tailed Beast, so he had time before Hidan and Kakuzu came back.
"Exactly," Jiraiya said. "Don't lament what you couldn't do. Be proud of what you already achieved."
He smiled, wryly. "Take whatever victories you can, right?"
"You got it."
There weren't many times that he disagreed with Jiraiya. Most of the time, what he said made sense. Jiraiya had a way of helping him understand things he wasn't sure about, and on the off-chance he didn't agree, he could see where his sensei was coming from.
"Is that the only reason why you came back?" Naruto asked.
Jiraiya smiled, unfolding his arms. "Of course not. You're here, aren't you?"
Naruto chuckled. "Yeah, I am."
"So... have you been keeping up with your training?"
The grin on Jiraiya's face made Naruto think that Jiraiya wanted to ask another question entirely. When he sent letters to Jiraiya, he kept them brief, since he was sure he'd see him again. Now that they were together, it was a good time as any to fill him in on the details.
"I have," Naruto said. "I got to learn how to use this tantō, and I can sense this other energy all around me."
"How does that energy feel?"
"Like it's alive. Just sensing it makes the energy vibrate."
Jiraiya nodded. "Have you tried to interact with it?"
Naruto shook his head. "I didn't."
"Good. I'd say with a bit more practice, you can start learning how to harness that energy."
His eyes widened. "Really?"
Jiraiya smiled. "Trust me, it's like nothing you've ever felt."
Naruto frowned. Did it compare to the Nine-Tails' power?
"Nothing does," the Nine-Tails responded.
Well, that certainly settled it. Although, it did bring another thing to mind. "Sensei, I started harnessing the Nine-Tails' chakra."
Jiraiya raised an eyebrow. "You did? When?"
"After we came back from the Land of Snow," Naruto said. "The Nine-Tails helped me during that mission, so I spoke to it and we made a new agreement. Since then, I've been using its chakra whenever I need to."
"How many tails can you use?"
"Three," Naruto said.
"And why do you want to use the Nine-Tails' chakra?" he asked, suspicion colouring his words.
Naruto made eye contact with his sensei. "My dad thought I could handle this, and I have to use everything I can to beat the Akatsuki. That's why."
Jiraiya didn't respond. Seconds passed, then he exhaled. "I thought about trying to convince you to use more of the Nine-Tails' chakra, but with how you were, I didn't want to make things worse for you. When you tell me you made the decision to use it on your own, and you've improved your control over its chakra... well, I'm impressed."
Naruto smiled. "Thanks, sensei. I know that I can't rely on the Nine-Tails' power, but that's why I'm using it on my terms, so that we can make it through this together."
Jiraiya's eyebrow furrowed. "What's talking to the Nine-Tailed Fox like?"
Naruto bit his lip. "It's pretty intimidating, and scary. Kind of conceited, too. Ever since we made this deal, it hasn't been so bad. It even helped me rescue and heal Yugito."
"Interesting," Jiraiya said. "I don't have to tell you to be careful, but for now, keep it up. It'd be better if the Nine-Tailed Fox isn't our enemy, don't you think?"
"I agree."
Jiraiya smiled. "Good man. Now that that's settled, why don't you tell me how those missions went. Did Samui take good care of you?"
"Yeah, she did," Naruto said, smiling.
It almost looked like lights were flashing in Jiraiya's eyes. "In that case, tell me everything. Don't leave out even one tiny detail."
"Can I ask you something first?"
Jiraiya nearly deflated. "Really? Can it wait?"
"It'll be quick," Naruto said. "Why is it that whenever I talk to another girl, you get all weird? First it was Tenten, then it was Temari, and now it's Samui. I'm no cheater."
Jiraiya smirked. "I never said you were, but can you blame me if I want to see you end up with a good woman? If something goes wrong with your current relationship, then you can't be hung up on it forever. You're a young man, and you have to make the most of your opportunities before they disappear."
Naruto frowned. "You say all that, but you keep on chasing after Grandma Tsunade."
A sort of wistful sadness enveloped his face. "My relationship with Tsunade is a bit different. I'm not chasing after her so I can make love to the most beautiful woman on Earth. I've already done that."
His eyes nearly shot out of their sockets. "Huh?"
Jiraiya rubbed his nose with his thumb and grinned. "Who do you think I am? My reputation isn't just for show." He suddenly frowned. "The thing is, it almost came out of nowhere. A few years ago, I was trying to get Tsunade to come back home. I did my whole song-and-dance, but this time, it was actually working. She was opening up to me and laughing at my jokes. So I asked her if she wanted to continue the fun in my room."
"Did she say no?"
"She said yes. I couldn't believe my luck, and I kept on thinking that the other shoe would drop. But it didn't. We had a great time together."
His eyes glazed over for a moment, then he blinked. "I knew something was up, though. She hid it well, but she was feeling really lonely. She wanted to be with someone, and I just so happened to be there. I had a feeling this was a one-time deal, but I couldn't complain. I had to be there for her in her time of need."
Naruto hung onto his sensei's every word. This wasn't just some old crush or fantasy, this was something deeper. "You really like her, don't you?"
"She's the one. She always has been. I don't mind her rejection because I know where I stand with her, and even if it's not what I imagined how we ended up, I can appreciate the relationship I have with her."
Naruto smiled, to encourage Jiraiya. "You still have a chance, sensei."
"I know," Jiraiya said. "I know." He smiled. "But enough about my misadventures. What about yours?"
He thought about giving Jiraiya a brief account of how things went with Samui, but with how he'd opened up to him about his feelings for Tsunade, it didn't seem right for him to clam up. Maybe Jiraiya could help him make sense of what he was feeling.
"I almost had sex with Samui," Naruto said.
Jiraiya sputtered. "What? You're joking."
"I'm not. It surprised me, too. She's quiet, and she doesn't really let her emotions show."
"Why don't you start from the beginning?" Jiraiya asked. He composed himself really quickly.
Naruto took a second to gather his thoughts. "I wanted to make sure our partnership went well, so I just talked to her and tried to make her feel like I appreciated her company. I also gave her a massage when she was feeling all stiff, but she was helping me learn kenjutsu, and she had to get better before we went on missions."
"Putting my techniques to good use, are you?" Jiraiya said, like he was asking him about his training instead of teasing him. "Did you enjoy massaging her?"
Naruto's cheeks turned red. "Yeah. She got more comfortable around me, and she was fine with showing me more of her body. On top of that, we were doing really well on missions and we were becoming good friends. Then we were trying to rescue Gaara, and she found out about the Nine-Tails. She didn't care at all. She said she'd protect me."
Jiraiya whistled. "Imagine that. What happened after the mission?"
"Samui came to my hotel room and told me she wanted to stay with me instead of going to the room she was given. I only had one bed, but she didn't care. She wanted to sleep in the same bed as me. I went with it because it didn't have to mean anything serious. We were partners, not lovers."
Jiraiya frowned for a bit, before his lips pulled taut. "Go on."
"Things changed when I went to rescue Yugito. Samui rushed out of the shower when Yugito's summon told me what happened to Yugito. Samui encouraged me, like she always did, and she gave me a hug, too. Only this time, she was naked. It was really flattering and nice, but I didn't want to get my hopes up."
Jiraiya nodded, lips pulled taut. "Did you talk to her about it?"
"Yeah, I did. She wanted me to see her body and she was worried about me since I ran ahead to rescue Yugito, which was why she hugged me. We slept in the same bed again, then the morning after, Grandma Tsunade sent us a letter telling us that our partnership was done and we had to return home."
Naruto gulped. "That was when she kissed me. She told me she liked me and wanted to be with me. She didn't want our partnership to end with any regrets."
"And you turned her down."
He frowned. "Yeah, I did. A lot of things were going through my mind, but I knew I wasn't ready. I didn't want to hurt Samui's feelings, so I tried to let her down as gently as I could."
"Did she take it well?"
"She understood completely."
Jiraiya nodded again. "Do you mind telling me why you weren't ready?"
Naruto let out a sharp breath. He might as well, since he already revealed so much. Besides, Jiraiya was taking this really seriously, asking him actual questions instead of joking around about how he nearly got laid by his hot teammate.
"I didn't know if Samui's feelings for me were real. The Raikage could have sent her on a mission to seduce me or something, because of who my dad was."
"Was that the case?"
He shook his head. "It wasn't."
"I thought so," Jiraiya said.
"You did?"
"She didn't seem like the type. It's possible that she was acting aloof so you'd get invested in seeing what she was really like when she was vulnerable, but she was also uncomfortable when I complimented her looks."
Naruto frowned. "She doesn't like people ogling her."
"I could tell. That's why I backed off."
His frown waned a bit. "Thanks for doing that." He trailed off, thinking about if he could leave it there and be fine, or if he could keep on going.
"Is there another reason?" Jiraiya asked.
"Yeah, there is. Even though I fell out with Kurenai, I was still technically dating her. I didn't want to make things worse between us by cheating, or get Samui involved in my relationship problems."
Or give Kurenai any sort of advantage she could use against him.
"But most of all, I just wasn't ready," Naruto said. "And I didn't want to hurt Samui by ruining her expectations."
"It's better not to force it," Jiraiya said, but he didn't elaborate. It would've been the perfect chance to tease him, yet he wasn't taking it.
"Tell me, Naruto, do you like Samui?"
The sudden question caught Naruto off-guard. Jiraiya was scrutinizing him. He wouldn't let him go without an answer, which was good: he wasn't going to run away from it.
"Yeah, I like her," Naruto said. "I really like her. I can be myself around her, I enjoy her company, and I trust her a lot. She gets angry at times and she's kind of spiteful, but she's a good person. She's honest and straightforward. She's helped me with a lot."
"What about Kurenai? Are you still interested in her?"
Naruto shut his eyes. "I don't know." He opened his eyes. "She hurt me, and I know that she's sorry, but I can't trust her." Jiraiya's gaze was piercing, but he gave Naruto another nod. "The thing is, I still have feelings for her that won't go away."
"If that's how it is, you'll have to ask yourself if you can forgive her for what she did. If you can forgive her, then you can try to work with her to rebuild the trust you lost."
Forgive her? That was out of the question.
"It's your choice," Jiraiya said, like he understood completely. "If you don't feel like you can trust her, then you don't have to."
Naruto nodded, not willing to say anything. He waited for Jiraiya to ask another question, but his lips were closed as he stared at a nearby tree. Nobody had come across them throughout this entire conversation, but very few people came to this forest in the first place.
"Would you have slept with Samui if you weren't with Kurenai?" Jiraiya asked, breaking the silence.
Naruto pursed his lips. "If I wasn't with Kurenai and I knew she was sincere, then... yeah, I would."
He still didn't know if he'd able to show her a good time, but there wouldn't be much keeping him bound. The fear wouldn't be as great.
"Does Samui know that you're in a relationship?"
"She does. I only told her after she asked me to sleep with her."
Jiraiya frowned. "Why did you let her think she had a chance to be with you?"
Naruto flinched. He balled his fists up, trying to stave the pressure before it mounted. "I didn't want to mislead her, never! I didn't think that she was looking for a relationship or sex, and I wasn't willing to go that far, either. But if she did like me, then I didn't want to hurt her."
"What if she didn't take your rejection well?" Jiraiya asked. "You'd have hurt her more than if you told her where you stood from the beginning."
Heat crept up his neck like molten lava. "I just didn't want to make things worse, since it'd affect our partnership, too. I didn't want to hurt her, and I didn't want to get hurt myself."
Jiraiya sighed. "That's why it's better to be honest about what you want. You said it yourself: she understood completely. You might think you're saving her from heartbreak, but you're just bottling everything up and hoping that she does what you want. Rejection hurts, whether you're being rejected or doing the rejecting, but that pain is temporary. In this case, you'll both be better off by learning the truth."
Naruto made his fists loosen up, took in a deep breath. "I know."
"Then make things clear with Samui and Kurenai. If you want to be with Samui, then tell her how you feel. If you want to work things out with Kurenai or you want to move on, then tell her. But don't leave either of them in the dark."
"I won't," Naruto said. He still had a lot to learn, it seemed, but if he hurt Samui unintentionally or otherwise, it was on him to find out where they stood. He knew she was okay with things, but maybe she wanted more.
Jiraiya put his hand on his shoulder. "In that case, I'll leave it at that. I'll be in the village for a couple of days, so if you need me, you know where to find me."
"At the hot springs?"
"Maybe, maybe not," he said. "You know as well as I do that my research never ends, but I might have to find other ways to do it."
"I know who you can ask," Naruto said.
Jiraiya's grip on his shoulder tightened. "Don't say it! I don't want to get my hopes up."
"Then I won't. And, sensei..." Naruto smiled. "Thanks for the advice."
Jiraiya smiled. "That's what I'm here for."
A moment later, Jiraiya left Naruto for what he would call greener pastures. He wasn't sure if Jiraiya would actually skip out on visiting the hot springs, but if he knew one thing about the Pervy Sage, he'd get his research done, one way or the other.
Naruto decided to grab lunch first, and there was no better place to do it than Ichiraku Ramen. Someone he recognized was already eating there, meaning that he'd have company while he dug into a nice, warm bowl of ramen.
Once he entered the ramen stand, he immediately took his seat in the booth.
"Naruto, it's great to see you!" Teuchi said.
"You too, old man!" Naruto said, smiling widely. "Hey, Ayame!"
Ayame smiled at him. "Hi, Naruto! Welcome back. Did you enjoy your trip?"
"I sure did." Naruto faced his fellow customer. "Hi, Samui."
"Hello, Naruto," Samui said.
"I didn't think you'd come here."
"You told me about this place," she said. "So I thought I'd check it out."
Naruto smiled. "You made the right choice. This place has the best ramen in the world."
Teuchi grimaced. "About that..."
"We changed our menu," Ayame said. "Now we serve dipping noodles instead of ramen. The broth and the noodles are served separately, which lets you dip the noodles inside the broth."
Naruto kept his smile plastered on his face. "That's really nice and all, but where's the ramen?"
Ayame put her hands on her hips. "Ramen is a thing of the past, Naruto. Times change and if we want to keep ahead of the competition, we have to adapt."
Naruto forced himself to keep his shock from making his jaw hang wide open. "But this is Ichiraku Ramen, not Ichiraku Dipping Noodles! And besides, this is the first time I've been here in almost three years! Can't you make an exception? Come on, Teuchi, back me up here!"
"I'm sorry, Naruto, but this really means a lot to Ayame," Teuchi said.
Naruto put his arms on the counter, but before he could launch himself into more hysterics, he heard someone giggle. It wasn't Ayame and it certainly wasn't Teuchi. His head swivelled in Samui's direction, and she was laughing.
He was utterly transfixed, almost forgetting the travesty that had just occurred. The sound of her laughter was delicate, but it was clear, unrestrained. Her eyes locked onto his. They were glittering like the ocean at sunset.
"What's so funny?" Naruto asked.
"I knew you liked ramen, but I never thought you were this passionate about it," Samui said.
"I have to have my ramen and I was really looking forward to it."
Good ramen was good ramen, and Ichiraku's couldn't be beat, so being told that he couldn't have ramen at Ichiraku Ramen was unimaginable.
"This might not be ramen, but it's pretty good," Samui said. She waved her hand over her bowl of... dipping noodles. "Try them."
It wasn't that they'd be bad, but he wanted ramen. However, when he looked at Ayame and Teuchi, he immediately felt like a real jerk for making such a racket.
"Fine," Naruto said. "I'll have one bowl of dipping noodles, please."
Ayame smiled. "Coming right up!"
She had his bowls prepared in an instant, pouring the broth in one and the noodles in the other. He was tempted, oh so tempted to just mix the bowls together, but it wouldn't hurt to try this new thing out.
Naruto picked up his chopsticks, took some noodles and dipped them in the broth before putting them in his mouth. He chewed for a bit, before swallowing.
"The broth and the noodles are lighter than the ramen normally is," Naruto said. "You still use that nutritious stuff?"
"We sure do," Teuchi said. "When you were gone, Ayame tried introducing a diet ramen to our menu. It was a huge hit, so we decided to make it a feature for all our meals."
Naruto smiled. "Great." He dug into the dipping noodles with gusto. The taste was still incredibly delicious, satisfying his hunger. "It's better than I thought."
"I'm glad you thought so," Ayame said. From behind her back, Teuchi gave him a thumbs-up. Meanwhile, Samui was still working through her own bowl.
"Say, Naruto, how did you meet Samui?" Teuchi asked.
"We actually met after the Chūnin Exams ended," Naruto said. "But we started working together a few months ago."
"Is that right?" Teuchi asked "Did you enjoy yourself?"
"Dad!" Ayame said. In spite of her admonishment, she was searching his face for a reaction.
"I did," Naruto said, smiling. He wasn't embarrassed to be around a pretty girl, not anymore.
Out of the corner of his eye, Naruto noticed Samui finishing off her bowl. She wiped her mouth with a napkin, the picture of relaxed decorum.
"How did you become so familiar with Naruto?" Samui asked.
"We've been serving Naruto ramen for years," Teuchi said. "It isn't an exaggeration to say that he's our best and favourite customer."
Naruto grinned. "Well, you guys have been real good to me. And your food is amazing."
"Even the dipping noodles?" Ayame asked.
"Yeah, even that," Naruto said. He faced Samui. "I'm going to get another bowl. What about you?"
"I can eat some more," Samui said.
Ayame smiled, and along with her dad, she got to work on preparing their food.
"This place is pretty cool," Samui told him. "The atmosphere is really welcoming and the food is good. I can see why you like this place so much."
"It is, isn't it?" Naruto said. "I'm glad you're here with me."
Samui nodded. "So am I."
He'd always wanted to introduce his girlfriend to Teuchi and Ayame, but that plan hadn't panned out like he wanted. In a way, he was still able to fulfill that wish with Samui. Eventually, Ayame delivered their bowls.
It was a bit of a challenge to get used to this new way of eating noodles. Mixing the broth with the noodles combined the flavours and made something entirely new. It was half of the appeal of ramen. Dipping the noodles in the broth slowed down how quickly he could eat his food, giving him time to reflect on the flavour. Would it change if he added meat or vegetables to the mix? Would they be served in separate bowls as well?
He never doubted their skill. It would just take more time before he accepted this as the new normal.
Once he finished, he pulled out some money to pay for the meal. At least dipping noodles were slightly cheaper than regular ramen.
"Thanks for coming, Naruto," Teuchi said. "And Samui, it was nice to meet you."
Samui nodded. "It was nice to meet you as well. Thank you for taking care of Naruto."
"Don't mention it," Ayame said. "You're always welcome here. And Naruto, don't be afraid to bring Samui back with you, you hear?"
"I hear you," Naruto said.
All smiles, Naruto left the ramen stand, Samui following close behind.
"Are you busy?" Naruto asked.
"No," Samui said. "I already finished my mission report and sent it to Lord Raikage."
"Good. When are you guys gonna leave?"
"Tomorrow."
It wasn't a lot of time. Jiraiya's advice came to mind.
"Are you busy?" Samui asked
"There's one place I wanted to visit," Naruto said. "You want to come with me?"
She smiled at him. "I'd like that."
Naruto took Samui to the Memorial Stone. He had to visit it, but while he wanted to do it on his own, he didn't mind bringing Samui along with him.
"This stone was made to commemorate the ninja who gave their lives to protect our village," Naruto said. "We remember their sacrifices and their lives, so they won't be forgotten."
Samui nodded. "I see. We don't have a Memorial Stone in the Hidden Cloud, but we also try to keep our fallen comrades' memories alive."
"That's good," Naruto said. He turned away from Samui and searched the Memorial Stone until he found what he was looking for. Minato Namikaze and Kushina Uzumaki's names were still next to each other, but now he knew why it was so fitting.
"Is there someone you know on this stone?" Samui asked.
Naruto nodded. "My parents."
"My condolences." When he glanced at Samui, he saw a frown on her face.
"It's okay," Naruto said. He frowned as well. "I never got a chance to meet them."
"I'd want to meet them, too. I imagine they're good people."
Naruto chuckled. "I've heard enough about them to know that they're good people."
"That's cool," Samui said. "Do you think they'd be proud of you?"
"I hope so."
Jiraiya had said that they would be proud of what he had achieved, and while he knew Jiraiya wasn't just saying that, he still wondered. Knowing that he'd never have parents was one thing, but now that he knew who they were and what they fought for, it felt like he lost something special even though it was something he never had.
The fact that it took this long for him to know left a truly bitter taste in his mouth, but now that he knew who his parents were, he'd never forget, and he'd do everything he could to keep their memory alive and make them proud of him.
Naruto spent the next hour standing in front of the Memorial Stone, thinking about his parents and everything that led him to this point. He took some time to examine the stone. Samui took an interest in the names, too, so they spent time looking at the names. There were names he recognized from Hidden Leaf: A History, and others that he knew from stories Kakashi told him about.
Both of Kakashi's teammates were on the stone, just like he said. It was interesting that Obito Uchiha was one of the last Uchiha names on the Memorial Stone, but then again, the Uchiha were all murdered by one of their own, in their own homes.
It was also quite fortunate that nobody he knew personally was on this stone. Not only would that pain be hard to bear, he spent far too much time wallowing in the past already.
He took a step back and stared at Samui. "Ready to go?"
"I am," she said. "Where do you want to go?"
Naruto smiled. "I want to show you everything this village has to offer."
Samui raised an eyebrow. "Everything?"
"You know what I mean."
"Then what are we waiting for?"
Naruto spent the rest of the day escorting Samui around the Leaf Village. He showed her the hot springs, where they took a dip inside. There were times where they visited mixed hot springs and relaxed together, but the Leaf's hot springs separated men and women, which was fine with him. He couldn't sense Jiraiya, so either he wasn't around or he could still avoid his sensor.
After their soak in the hot springs, Naruto showed Samui his personal training clearing. She ran her hands through the waterfall and he demonstrated his ability to cut the waterfall. He showed her a few more places as well. Fortunately, nobody he knew came across them. He wanted to have this time with Samui without dealing with any interruptions. While he wouldn't have minded meeting Shikamaru, it wouldn't be nice if Kurenai found them.
It was unfortunate that their time together was limited, since he wanted to find livelier places that he never got to visit and take her there. But he resolved to make the most of his circumstances and before he knew it, sunset was less than ten minutes away.
He was about to escort her back to her hotel, but when he offered to do so, she declined.
"I want to see where you live," Samui said.
Naruto shrugged. "Alright. Let's go."
They weren't far from his house. As soon as they reached the red-light district, he grabbed her wrist and took her to their destination with the Body Flicker. When they landed, they were right in front of his apartment.
"Is this where you live?" Samui asked.
Naruto nodded. "Yeah."
He let her inside and showed her around. It was bigger than any hotel room he'd ever been in, but it was still a pretty humble place. Still, it was home. While they practically lived together for almost six months, showing Samui where he lived was a pretty big step forward.
Part of him imagined her bringing her clothes inside or putting her favourite foods in the fridge. Something that said she lived in his apartment.
"Not bad," Samui said, after they returned to his front door. "Do you have any plans tomorrow?"
"The Hokage wants me to fight someone," Naruto said. "She set up the fight because she was thinking about promoting me. Any advice?"
"Make sure you keep calm and show all of your skills," Samui said. "If you're being tested, it means that you have the potential to become a jōnin. It's up to you to prove that you're worthy of being promoted."
Naruto smiled. "Sounds good to me."
The memory of what had transpired the day before hit him, and once again, Jiraiya's words came to mind. It'd be easy to just let things slide until Samui went back to the Hidden Cloud, so he could avoid this conversation. But if he did that, he'd be taking the coward's way out. He couldn't back down and leave her in the dark, either. After all, there was nothing to be afraid of.
"I met my girlfriend yesterday," Naruto said.
Samui tensed up. "What did she say?"
"She apologized for hurting me. I can't lie, I appreciated that, but I wasn't ready to forgive her."
She frowned. "Did you break up with her?"
Naruto's lip curled in a frown. "I didn't. She approached me when I wasn't ready. I wasn't willing to fight her when I just came back home."
Samui's eyes turned cold. "Did you find out how she was using you?"
"I knew how she was using me already. She wasn't cheating on me, but she had ulterior motives."
His voice was oddly level, considering the way his heart was hammering against his chest.
"Do you want to break up with her?"
Naruto flinched, in spite of himself. He couldn't fault her for asking that question, but he definitely didn't want to be confronted by it.
"I don't know," Naruto said. He scowled. It was the truth, but it shouldn't have been. "You know what sucks about this? Even though she manipulated me and she lied to me, I can't let my feelings go. I know she cares about me and I still remember all the good times we had together."
He grit his teeth, feeling a pit form in the bottom of his stomach. "I can't trust her, but it's like... before I make any decision, I need to know why she was using me and what she gained from seducing me in the first place." He ran his fingers through his hair. "It isn't easy. It should be, but it isn't."
It wasn't like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders, yet he felt a bit better about being honest about his struggles.
"You're right, it isn't easy," Samui said. "It took me some time to confront my ex-boyfriend, and up until I spoke to him, I thought we could reach an understanding. When he gave me his reasons, I knew that it wasn't worth the trouble to be around him. What he did hurt me for a long time, but I got through it. You will, too."
A small smile came to his face. "Thanks, Samui."
"Thank me after you've dealt with this," Samui said, a hint of frustration in her tone. She had every right to be frustrated. He was making what should have been an easy decision needlessly complicated. She liked him, she wanted to be with him.
But did she say all of that in the heat of the moment? He could ask her, but it would probably be better if he left it. After all, she was going to leave very soon.
Again, that felt like the coward's move. It'd be better if he knew the whole truth, so that he didn't have to grasp at straws to make sense of what little he knew. He'd already come far, so to back down now would be to defeat himself.
"Can I ask you something, Samui?"
"Go ahead."
Naruto stared into her deep blue eyes. They were sharp, cool, but her emotions blazed deep within. He'd seen it for himself, and it excited him like almost nothing else.
"When you said you wanted to be with me, how did you mean it? Did you just want to have sex with me, or did you want more?"
"I wanted more." Her cheeks rapidly turned red. "I want more."
Naruto gasped. "You really mean it?"
She nodded, staring back. "I was fine with being on my own, but spending all that time with you gave me a glimpse of what I could have, and I wanted that. When the Hokage informed us our partnership would be ending, I had to let you know how I felt. I couldn't muster up the courage to do it before that point, which left me with no other choice."
Naruto blushed, too. "I didn't really mind that." It had put him in a rough spot, but at the same time, he enjoyed feeling her. "It was really flattering."
"I'm glad that it was," Samui said. "However, we're from different villages. The alliance our villages share still isn't official. That means the chance that we'd be partners again is very slim. If I couldn't be with you, I'd be content if I could end our partnership with a good memory and no regrets."
He frowned. "And I couldn't give you that."
Samui sighed. "I'm not going to blame you for your choice. Now that I know you have a girlfriend, the last thing I'd want to do is to help you cheat on her. No matter what she did to you, she doesn't deserve that pain."
"I wouldn't want you to get involved with that, either." Naruto frowned, feeling his chest grow tight. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my girlfriend earlier."
"Don't worry about it. I understand why you didn't want to talk about her."
"I know, but I shouldn't have led you on."
Samui frowned. "Did you regret doing that?"
He thought about it, since she wasn't asking if he shouldn't have led him on, only if he regretted it.
"No. I should have been honest with you, but I don't regret what I did."
"Then I accept your apology."
Naruto nodded. A silence fell between them. At every turn, Samui had accepted him, flaws and mistakes and all. It made things easier for him, something he genuinely appreciated. He knew what he had with her, and he wasn't willing to lose it because he was caught up in his feelings.
"Can you do me a favour, Naruto?" Samui said. "Deal with this problem. When you talk to your girlfriend, don't let her gain any ground on you. It's going to be tough, so whatever happens, don't forget what she did."
"I won't," Naruto said.
"Good. I'll see you tomorrow."
She turned to leave, and it felt like if he let her, he'd lose something big. He grabbed her hand with his, rooting her to the spot.
"If there was a way for us to be together, would you be with me?" Naruto asked.
"Yes, I would."
"Then can you wait for me until I deal with this?"
One long moment passed. Samui curled her fingers around his. "I can."
A smile came to his face. "Thank you."
He let go of her, watched her leave. He had a fight he had to prepare for, but after that? He was going to see Kurenai again. There was no way she'd leave him be.
So he'd sort himself out, make sure everything was in order. and when the time came, he'd be fully prepared to put the past behind him.
Author's Note: I edited a few of the earlier chapters. There were no critical changes I made, just stuff to clean up the story and make the overall narrative stronger. I also have a solid plan of where I want to take this story.
Other than that, I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. Stay safe, wherever you are.
