Santana turned slightly as she looked over at Charlie who had stopped just outside of the elevators, this had to bring back some painful memories for Charlie, but instead of rushing her she lets Charlie take her time to inch past the elevator doors before they close. "Charlie," she says gently. "Breathe, deep breaths, in and out."
Charlie turns to look at Santana and forces a smile to her face, as she did her breathing exercises. This had been a bad idea; she should have insisted that she go somewhere neutral. Why had she likened this to ripping off a band-aid? This apartment had bad mojo to it, and she should have talked to Santana about moving to a new one. A fresh start. "Did you—"
"I did. There are no knives, nothing sharp, no guns. I already had Quinn remove the gun after you left. No scissors, I mean the most dangerous thing is a pair of nail clippers Charlie, and I mean yeah, I've seen you with a pair of them but you're not going to hurt me. You might accidentally hurt yourself, but I like to do my nails." Santana flashes Charlie a small smile hoping that it's enough to calm Charlie down for a moment, she's rewarded with a snort from Charlie.
"I'm being ridiculous, aren't I?"
Santana shakes her head, "No, you're scared, I understand that. I'm nervous too, but if we're both panicking, we're not going to get anything done and we'll probably have to call a member of your family and that defeats the purpose of us easing you into this," Santana extends her hand for Charlie. After a moment Charlie takes it, and she gently squeezes it. "It'll be okay Charlie. We're doing this together."
Charlie exhales slowly and nods and lets Santana lead her to the door, she can feel her heart beating heavily in her chest. It felt like she was having a heart attack. It wasn't just a worry that something inside might trigger her, it was the fact that she was worried that Santana being here again, would see her for what she felt like—a monster. Santana hadn't even been able to live here, while she was gone.
The sound of the door being opened jolts pulls Charlie from her jumbled thoughts and she watches as Santana steps over the threshold, and tugs her along. She resists for a moment, but when Santana turns to look at her, she can't help but stumble along. This was the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life waking up next too. She could defeat a stupid apartment. After closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she takes a step inside the apartment. She pauses for a moment and opens her eyes; the world hasn't ended. The ground hasn't opened up underneath her and swallowed her up. She was fine.
"You okay?" Santana asks when Charlie hadn't moved and she's rewarded with a smile from Charlie.
"I think I need some positive reinforcement," Charlie says with a perverted smirk. Sex was easy, she could do sex.
Santana lets go of Charlie's hand immediately and shakes her head, and she had been worried. "I mean you haven't made dinner or anything, and you expect to have some positive reinforcement? Like do your duties as my house bitch first, and then we'll talk about positive reinforcement."
Charlie laughed at the response and leaned in to hug Santana tightly. "You're right, food first and then positive reinforcement."
Santana gently kisses Charlie; she didn't have the heart to inform her that they probably weren't going to have sex tonight. It had been ages since they'd done it, but she needed Charlie to be in the moment, to be present, and if she gave Charlie a chance, she'd focus on sex for the next 48 hours. "So, what's for lunch?"
"Depends on what's in the fridge," Charlie said pulling back and heading to the fridge and opening. Santana had made sure it was fully stocked and she grins. "I can see that you want me to make your favorite."
"Don't forget the breadsticks," Santana reminds Charlie, watching as Charlie unzips her jacket and tosses it on the island. She rolls her eyes and grabs it and moves to put it away. She had worried that Charlie wouldn't quickly acclimatize to being back, but she was already pulling things out of the fridge at an almost breakneck speed and placing them on the island. She was sliding back into a routine and that was good. This could be good for them.
~ O ~
Charlie studied the bed for a moment and picks at the scab on her elbow as she does, lunch had been good. Going for a walk with Santana had been good, but sleeping in the same bed— "Maybe I should take the couch—" the words die in her throat as Santana turns to look at her.
"Now I'm offended," Santana says crossing her arms over her chest. It had been just like old times, and Charlie had seemingly slipped back into their routine. It wasn't their complete routine, but right now she didn't want to share Charlie with anyone else, and going out dancing, or to a movie might put Charlie on edge. "Do you not want to sleep with me? I promise I won't steal your sheets."
"That's a lie," Charlie said immediately watching as Santana smiled, and she relaxes. "I sleep naked."
"No, you don't," Santana said with a roll of her eyes, it was a poor attempt at a lie. "Try again."
Charlie crinkled her nose, she felt like now was the time to make a point but stripping out of her clothes seemed like it would be taking it a bit too far. And while having sex would be nice, Santana had made it abundantly clear that's not what tonight was about. "I have night-terrors. I still have nightmares and sometimes it feels very real, and I thrash about."
Santana studied Charlie, who fidgeted under her gaze. There was shame, on Charlie's features and she can't help but immediately move to touch Charlie's arm. She had read the information that Charlie's therapist had sent to her, how to help if Charlie was feeling overwhelmed, what to do if Charlie had a night terror, she had read every pamphlet. "Okay, thank you for telling me," she needed to be understanding. "We do have a guest bedroom Charlie, and if you start having a night terror, I'll immediately go sleep in it, alright?"
Charlie nods for a moment, "I should try to sleep naked," she says after a moment.
"I'm not having sex with you," Santana said flatly pulling away from Charlie who flashes her a smile. She was impossible to deal with sometimes.
"It says more about you that I can't be naked around you without you thinking that I'm trying to seduce you. I'm not a piece of meat Santana."
Santana rolled her eyes and shoved Charlie playfully, before she's tackled into the bed. "Charlie," she says trying to squirm away as Charlie tickles her. She smacks Charlie on the arm, and watches as she rolls over and flops on the bed beside her. There's a moment that passes between them, and she needs to resist the urge to simply kiss Charlie. Sex right now was a bad idea. "So, what are we going to do tomorrow?"
"I can think of several things—"
"Charlie," Santana huffs at this, why did she always have a one-track mind.
"—Santana, I was thinking about doing errands. I should probably see my financial guy, and see what's going on with my accounts. I need to pay Quinn back for my stay at Green Oaks, I'll probably have to dip into my trust, and then maybe have a small spending account. Then I'll start looking for a part-time job. At least seeing what's out there." Charlie drawled. "And then we can have sex."
Santana rolled her eyes and rolled over, it takes a second before she feels Charlie's arms snake around her, pulling her in close and into the little spoon position, and immediately she relaxes and closes her eyes, snuggling in closer.
