Chapter 57: Revelation

By SodiumChloride12, derived from Fire Emblem, owned by Nintendo.

A/N: I know I said I was going to take this week off, but I decided to push that to next week. One day I was sitting quarantine when this chapter just...happened. I feel great about it, and I hope you enjoy!

On a side note, I think I will stream my fanfiction writing sessions on Twitch. If y'all want to tell me something, influence the direction of the story, have me briefly look over your fic, or just hang out, this might be something you'd enjoy.

My twitch user is sodium_chlouride12. I won't be accepting donations, so I won't be violating 's code of conduct. I'll be streaming on a random basis, but usually around 9pm CST. I know for sure I'll be streaming on that time today.

In any other case I'll see y'all in two weeks!

N: Samuel awakens, apparently having survived his most recent brush with death. What does fate have in store for him today?


Early one afternoon...

...

Ugh...I'm getting too old for this...

Opening my eyes, I'm expecting to awaken in a finely furnished room inside Castle Caelin. Instead, I feasted my eyes on a dreadfully familiar sight. A ceiling constructed from dull beige canvas hung overhead, and simple bedding comprising a white blanketed cot lied underneath. Thick bandages covered every square inch of my upper body, with the most concentrated portion present around my head region. A single eye slit made up the gateway between me and the physical plane of existence.

Everything's hurting again. That's no surprise...

I felt like I was in a body bag. No, a full body cast was a better description. Thick straps kept vulnerable limbs like my shoulder blades from caving in, and a huge brace kept my jaw together. My metallic hand disappeared too, with nothing but the underlying gauntlet visible past my wrist. Long, deep burns marks cover the entirety of my up body, radiating a deep pink glow invisible to everyone. Finally, my legs refused to move at my beckoning, and a long leather strap kept them up for support.

On Sothis' good name, I'm so beat up. I don't recall breaking my legs though...

Closing my eyes, I try to think back on the events that led me here. I remember fighting an agent of Nergal's in Castle Caelin and using everything I had in Lyn's defense. Ultimately, that fierce enemy forced me to resort to my fail-safe, and after a devastating explosion, everything turned black...

That explains the burns and all this other damage. Magic can't fix everything, but I'm glad my wounds aren't too disfiguring...

Luckily for me, there was one part of my body I could move willingly. My left arm hung lazily beside this whole mess, and I used it to ring a small bell sitting idly on a nearby table. The bell gave off a small chime that teased the outer surface of my eardrums, and after a brief lapse of silence, I heard a noise come from outside my tent's thin walls.

Flap! Woosh!

Priscilla and Serra emerge, with both carrying their respective healing staves. My heart sinks when I notice the serious expressions across their faces, an emotion made much worse when I realize I had no method of conversing with them. Several of my vocal chords were borderline incinerated in the inferno, and the only thing that came out when I opened my mouth was pained air.

Oh no, this isn't ideal...

Noticing my struggle, Serra shook her head and beckoned me to stop. Her hair waved gracefully in the still air, and her aura seemed peaceful. She presses her cold hand against the bandage on my forehead and whispered a small showing of goodwill.

"It's going to be all right. You're safe here. You got pretty beat up back there, but not to worry. We will be handling this."

I can hardly believe my eyes. Serra...being polite? Perhaps I could've expected this from a noblewoman like Priscilla, but not this pink-haired dynamo. This was a rare display of Serra's bedside manners, and the mere sight of it compelled me to obey.

She said, "Shhh...relax. We will use magic that will heal you up just fine."

She hastily prepares my cot for their operation, loosening some straps so that my bones wouldn't heal back incorrectly. Priscilla follows up by taking my vitals and jotting down some notes on a notepad...

Priscilla is the client I'd tried so hard to convince Erk in staying away from. She's a noblewoman hailing from House Caerlon, a family hailing from somewhere in southwest Etruria. Admittingly, that's all the information I have on her. In between the looming threat of the late doctor and my strategist duties, I hadn't had much of an opportunity to speak to her. That will have to change after I recover from these injuries, especially given the irony the current situation. I was willing to risk Priscilla life for the safety of one of my closest friends, yet here she was treating me with a clear conscience. Granted, it's not like she knew about the amount of power I held over her fate...

Priscilla said, "You must afford us your forgiveness. This magic can only be used when you're awake, and it brings with it some pain towards both sides. Luckily, the discomfort will the distributed equally among the three of us, so it shouldn't be anything too unbearable."

Intrigued, I raise a brow. It'd never come to my attention that such magic existed in Elibe, but I suppose there are many things I don't know of. By the sound of it, this magic appeared much more powerful than even the magic Niime used on me in Höger.

That's a good thing. I think you'd have to throw everything but the kitchen sink to fix me up now.

Concluding their preparations, they shoot each other a brief glance. The duo of clerics stand close, and after lifting their staffs into the air, they recite an incantation foreign to me in meaning. I make out a single sentence in their garbled mess of vocabulary, but other than that I'm left in the dark.

"Cari fecit benedicat sauciatis benedictionibus vestris!"

Suddenly, a bright white light illuminates from the ceiling. It felt normal at first, reminding me of one of those lights you'd see on a dentist chair or an operating table. However, this only lasted for several seconds, at which point it transformed into a blanket of needles piercing my entire body. I wince and grimace at the discomfort, but thankfully my many experiences with war had gifted me an amazing pain tolerance. I stomach through it like the countless other injuries I'd sustained in the past, though my healers weren't as fortunate.

After about two minutes of healing, a drop of sweat falls down the sides of their faces. At five, their breathing became shaky and erratic. I look on in utter disbelief at the literal deterioration happening before me, and while I want to scream out for them to stop, I can't. After ten minutes, Priscilla rolled her eyes behind her head and collapsed.

Serra ceases the spell, after which she collapsed on the ground too. I stare at the two maidens with worried eyes, and mentally sigh at our misfortune.

Damnit. This is going to take a while.

...

I stretch and flex my healed muscles on my once binding cot, allowing the dimming rays leaking through the ceiling to kiss my body. My smile is as genuine and gleeful as it could be...

Exhausted, Serra and Priscilla lean against their battered staves. Their disheveled hair droops across their faces like they'd just endured spring rain, yet no such thing adorned the landscape this day. Mana deprived and lacking of energy, the duo silently congratulated each other on a job well done...

Struggling to keep herself up, Serra's sandals nearly slip off the ends of her calloused feet. She said, "By the Creator, that took a lot out of me. I think we did a good job, Lady Priscilla."

Priscilla agrees, still somehow speaking in a manner characteristic of her class. Her accent reminded me of one of those posh British ladies you'd see in Victorian England. She said, "I couldn't have done it without you. We saved the Lieutenant's life, who in turn saved the life of Lady Lyndis. In a way, you can say we saved the life of a fellow royal such as myself."

Hearing this, Serra scoffed. "Royalty? I'll have you know that I am royalty, Miss Priscilla. It couldn't have taken anything less than the participation of two blue bloods to accomplish this feat!"

I notice a brief flash of intrigue from Priscilla. Unwilling to let this charade continue on any further, I opted to end this fantasy.

I said, "Nope. I'm not going to let you get away telling her that, Serra. Although I don't value you any less for being a commoner, you must learn to have others accept you for who you really are. An ordinary orphan, just like me."

Serra balls up her fist and sinks into a fit. I rolled my eyes as I waited for this little episode to blow over, though I felt much more guilty for having to have Priscilla experience this whole thing...

She said, "No no no! Why can't you just let me have this, Kenan?! It's the best you could've done after I treated your injuries!"

I replied bluntly, "It was you and Priscilla who treated me. You have my thanks, but please do not use your position to take advantage of others. It's unethical."

Serra shot back, "Ethical—smethical! You're no fun!"

She turns her back on me and stormed out of my tent. I sigh and mutter a minor swear word in my ancestral tongue...much to the confusion of the red-haired maiden still in the room.

"Estupida. When will she learn..."

"..."

!

"Priscilla!"

I face Priscilla and shake myself from my momentary lapse of awareness. The poor girl had frozen up like a little girl watching her parents fight, and I knew I needed to explain myself.

I said, "Erm...sorry about that. We don't hate each other, I swear. It's just that...this is our way of communicating with each other. I like Serra a whole lot, but sometimes I just need to rein in the more...spontaneous parts of her personality."

A more vulgar part of myself probably would've just said: "I needed to put that girl in her place." Thankfully, I exercised an increased degree of restraint this morning, and Priscilla understood everything that I'd said with no complications.

She replied, "Oh...I see. I suppose that's how it goes. Tell me, I know that she and...my escort Erk travelled together for some time. Did Erk..."

I said, "Yup. He suffered a whole lot. Oh, and I mean a lot. Serra's a good soul, but their personalities just do not synergize at all. She would've done better with an extrovert like Matthew or Sain escorting her across Lycia. On the bright side, it appears that they'd grown on each other a bit. Erk tolerates her presence much more nowadays."

Priscilla nodded her head...disappointingly? A hint of jealousy flickered in her eyes, and I instantly realize I'd just stumbled onto something interesting. Very interesting.

I inquired (to the benefit of my friend, of course), "Is something wrong m'lady? You seem cold."

Slightly flustered, her eyes dash away from mine and towards a vacated patch of canvas nearby. She tucked her arms close to her body and instinctively grabbed onto some fabric on her green shirt. Her non-verbals were a clear indicator that she felt nervous about something...or someone.

She said, "N-No. I'm fine! It's just...do you think S-Sir Erk finds attraction in women like Lady Serra? I'm a-asking for a friend!"

I let a tiny, mischievous smile escape my lips. In my culture, we relished chisme (Gossip) like this. Mexican-Americans such as myself would use information like this to wreak havoc onto society, regardless if it benefited friend or foe. I can already imagine Erk's face when I tell him he'd smitten the hearts of not one, but two girls in this army. His reaction would be the subject of limitless entertainment...

However, as the tactician of this army and responsible adult, I am above such displays of immaturity. I will keep Priscilla's secret deep in the confines of my memory, where I will never use it to cure the long days of boredom I often felt on the road...

...

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course I'm going to tell Erk!

Nearly bursting with excitement, I decide to stir the pot when I still could. I said, "I'm not sure. He relayed to me earlier that he preferred women that were on the quiet side. I think I also remember that he had a thing for red-haired girls..."

Ill intent aside, nothing that I said was untruthful. Erk did indeed like quiet women with red hair. Then again, he also mentioned that he'd literally take anybody who'd be willing to give him a chance. I hope he's willing to eat those words, as he's about to have two very interested girls form the precipice of his burgeoning mini harem.

Priscilla blushed, "R-Really?! Oh, you must excuse me...I'll be leaving now. Do you feel okay? Any pain?"

I nodded, "Just a little sore, but nothing to be concerned about. You have my permission to relieve yourself of my care."

Priscilla bowed respectfully, "As you wish. I hope you have a nice day..."

I nod as she filed herself out my tent. She'll most certaintly be making herself towards that studious mage, likely to engage in enjoyable small talk. That's if Serra hadn't already caught up to him.

What a nice, fair mannered girl. I thought. Hopefully, I did both her and Erk a favor.

Oh, only if I knew what was to come...

...

I rise from my bed and take a glance over at the setting sun visible past a tear in my tent. There was still a bit of sunlight on the day, and although I could spend this time getting back to work, one final thing took priority...

The well-being of the princess I'd worked so hard to save. Where is she...?


Later...

Before I could go about finding the whereabouts of Lyn, I needed to receive a briefing from Matthew about what happened between them and now. Turns out, plenty has happened since then, which I found out covered one week...

Shortly after going into a coma, Matthew stumbled onto what was left of me and Lyn. Fortunately for us, Lyn didn't sustain many serious injuries and woke up the next morning relatively unscathed. I, however, was not so lucky...

The blast of my weapon had destroyed my metal hand, and it sent metal shards flying straight into my vulnerable upper body. The shrapnel and ensuing fireball wreaked havoc on my flesh, leaving deep scarring that remained even after the extensive healing I'd received. Luckily, my mask was sturdy enough to prevent the worst disfigurements to my face. Even so, I'll carry the consequences of my decision for the rest of life...though I have no regrets.

The following day, the Lausian army attacked just like we predicted. They painted the landscape with their soldiers, and Castle Caelin found itself under siege. The Caelic army fought bravely and stubbornly in the face of overwhelming odds, but ultimately they capitulated when the enemy rushed their walls. Desperate to save the crown, the last remnants of the army helped Lyn and her legion break out towards the waiting arms of Eliwood's friendly forces, which had just arrived at the scene. All in all, this took about five days...

We'd spent the past day consolidating our position and restructuring our supply lines. The Lausian army had done little since taking Castle Caelin, and our standing against them is improving by the day. Eliwood had expertly cut off their baggage train several days prior, and together with Lyn's Legion...we'd effectively besieged the enemy. What a change of fortunes! Oh, how the table have turned!

However, all is not well. The Lausian army can break out at any time, and they continue to have Lord Hausen in their possession. In addition, Hector's attempts in soliciting aid from his older brother have fallen on deaf ears. This leaves us with no other choice than to commit to attacking Castle Caelin with everything we've got. We can't afford to lose here, imperialism be damned!

Sufficiently informed, I inquired about Lyn. I found her not sleeping in her tent, nor fraternizing with her subjects by the fire. Instead, she was meditating silently by a meadow, with her trusted knight Kent protecting her.

The sight was majestic to my eyes. She sat there on the flat grass in peaceful spirits, a state I hadn't seen her in since a simpler time. Her hair moved like a mast crossing a sea of green, and her skin fairer than a patch of delicate snow. Kent stood nearby, ready for the smallest of disturbances to her liege, and his eyes met with mine when I came into view past the brush.

Pointing his sword at me, he exclaimed, "You! Halt! Who goes there?"

Lifting my arms above my head, I replied, "Calm down there, soldier. It's me, the Lieutenant. I've just come to check on Lady Lyn."

Lowering his weapon, he chided, "Lieutenant Kenan? I see you've awoken from your slumber...but I'm afraid I cannot allow you to come any further. My liege has been going through tough times as of late, and would like this period to reflect on the coming battle."

I sigh in disappointment, but I understand it can't be helped. Her physical injuries aside, Lyn has suffered much with the loss of both her kingdom and her only family. If Samuel were still in good standing with her, I'd be able to support her through this difficult time. But, I'm not Samuel. I'm Kenan, an absolute stranger to the fair plainswoman of Sacae.

I said, "Very well. I'll be having the both of you in my prayers tonight. I'll work extra diligently to get back to work and devise a plan to get us out of this mess."

Satisfied with my message, I turned around and left the duo to their peace. I felt Kent's eyes skeptically observe me as I waded through the short grass, evidently he carried some distrust toward my person. I can't really fault him for harboring this sentiment, as I was an outsider to him. He might also sublimely contain some resentment for my slight resemblance to Mark/Samuel, but I can't know for sure...

!

"Kenan..."

I swerve my head over fast, knocking my brain for a tizzy as it nearly broke the sound barrier. That might've been an exaggeration, but I'd been dying to hear her voice the moment I first fell into a coma...

S: Yawn! Do my ears deceive me? Do I hear the thoughts of a simp?

Sothis awoke from her nap and moved around in the innermost channels of my mind like a ferret crawling through plastic tubes. Unfortunately, I'm too caught up with the events of the physical world to talk back against this green goblin...

I said, "Lyn! Er- Um...Hi!"

Lyn raises her brow and crossed her arms in between her chest. They say the beginning is the most important part of a conversation, and I'd clearly failed in that department. She replied in a manner mixed between concern and mild stubbornness.

She said, "Erm, Hello. It's fairly late out, Lieutenant. What do you want to talk about?"

I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. In truth, a part of me thought I wouldn't reach this far as I'd suspected Kent would prematurely send me away. I felt like a simple-minded teenager struggling on his first date with a pretty girl, but this was not a date. Far from it. This is a professional conversation between a tactician and his liege...nothing more.

Taking a deep breath, I said, "I just wanted to c-check you out—no that's not what I meant! I wanted to check if you were okay! I got knocked out from the battle with the pretender so I didn't know if you were holding up well..."

Wow. I really am I simp. I can already imagine the roastings I'd have to bear if Matthew were listening to this. I'm fumbling through my words just like I did with Florina...

!

I frown when I notice Matthew's red cloak dash across the dimly illuminated forest. A single thought was all it took to describe the sinking feeling deep in the core of my gut.

Fuck.

My face resembling a cherry, I cringe at the vulnerabilities of my personality. There was no use producing manufactured confidence now. All I could hope was that Lyn took mercy on my feeble soul, and sooner finish this conversation so I could emotionally beat myself up while in the comfort of my solitary bed.

Unamused, Kent stands in between himself and Lyn. Speaking firmly, he said, "If you cannot properly form words, then I recommend you leave here so you don't waste my liege's time."

"..."

What am I doing? Why is my anxious heart choosing to damn me now? Before, I wouldn't hesitate to fight back against an authoritative figure like this, but yet here I am cowering in a corner. This self-induced paralysis is the bane of my existence...

My emotions are the bane of my existence.

My mind's been deteriorating, and this meant my emotional highs have become higher, and my lows sunk deeper likewise. In practical terms, this meant I get angrier during times of ferocity, and more depressed during times of sadness. The culprit to all this was the emotional trauma I'd sustained in my painful existence here in Elibe, along with the countless concussions exacerbating the issue further...

In short, my past had transformed me into a very anxious and stressful man.

Just as Kent was about to lead me away, Lyn arose from her sitting position. She raised her hand, and the red knight stood in patient standby. She said, "Kent, that won't be necessary. If you may, can you vacate the area so we can speak privately?"

Kent balks at the request, and he raises his voice in protest. He said, "But m'lady! Caelin cannot afford to leave you undefended! Besides, we still don't know the intentions of this young man."

Lyn shakes her head, and to my surprise she firmly grabs onto my left shoulder. She said, "The Lieutenant saved my life, and although I don't agree with his means, I can respect the effort he put behind it. The Lieutenant will serve as my protection in the event of attack. Also, might I remind you that our soldiers have this area covered in our defense perimeter?"

The defense perimeter is a half-mile circle surrounding the main camp. In it, our sentries regularly took watch to ensure no enemy soldiers came to harass the army. Before, we hadn't been able to do something like this due to our lack of numbers, but the addition of Lyn's legion to our force changed that. Considering we'd only started doing this now, it's unsurprising that Kent isn't aware of this.

Kent sighs and obediently lowers his head to bow. He said, "Very well. Lieutenant, I entrust Lyn's care to you. Do not make me regret my decision."

I replied, "You won't. Make sure to get some good sleep, tomorrow will be a very important day. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I watch in silence as he marches off into the forest. Turning to face Lyn again, I notice that Lyn had since removed her hair tie to let her hair loose. Lyn was conveying a more laid-back attitude towards me, though I can't understand why.

I said, "Lady Lyndis, I'm pleased to see y—"

Lyn said bluntly, "You can cut the charade, Samuel. I know who you are."

"..."

What?!

I can't believe my ears. Have my efforts in concealing my identity failed? No, that's definitely what's going on here. My cover's been blown, and now I've become the most vulnerable man in Elibe...

So knowing that, what do I do now? Do I run into the hills and pray that I live to see another day? Heck, even I know that's beyond the realm of possibility. Lyn will probably cut me down before I got away, and I'm in no state to defend myself. Unfortunately, I'd neglected to attach a new hand to my gauntlet, as doing so would have taken several hours...

I look down on the metallic mess of silver wires attached to my right wrist. Technically, I still had the capabilities to wield a sword since my weapon attached to my wrist as opposed to physically being held in my grasp. However, I didn't think to bring a sword with me, but I did have my red dagger. Not like I'd be able to do much with it as I'm right-handed.

Oh, why am I so stupid?!

Disturbing silence fills the air, and my eyes dash towards Lyn's waist, searching for a weapon. Her Mani Katti glitters under the white moonlight, leading to a concentrated chill to pulsate down my being.

Figuring I had nothing to lose, I raise my head and lock my eyes with her. It felt like she could cut me down at anytime, but I understood my words had a habit of getting me out of worser situations.

First, I tried the route of denial.

I said, "I don't know what you mean. I'm Kenan Vacia, respected tactician from Carazan. Who is...Samuel?"

I'm sweating bullets, but thankfully my mask covered most of my anxiety. My quivering left hand wasn't as easy to hide, however, so I pressed it against my back. Better safe than sorry...

Unfortunately, Lyn saw right through me. She said, "Don't play dumb with me, I can pick out your accent a mile away. Disguising it with that manufactured tongue of yours might work on the average man, but it won't work on me."

Drat. My faux midwestern accent isn't doing me any favors. Why did I have to run out of accent potions today? If I'd known that I would end up in this situation, I would've asked Niime to make me more for the journey. Ugh...everything's falling apart so quickly...

Scrambling for answers, I tried doubling down on my fake identity. I said, "My...accent comes from a specific borough in Carazan."

Lyn replied, "Really? Which burrough?"

!

Having forgotten the name of the burrough, I fall silent again. My stress weighs down on my skull heavily, and my heart skips a beat. I've exhausted every possible method of escape, so now the only thing to do was to accept my impending fate...

I said, "I...you got me. I'm...who you say I am..."

I whisper a faint incantation, and the binding magic on my mask weakens. I feel like I was digging my own grave for doing this...but if I were to meet my end, I'd rather have it while letting the moon's light kiss my face.

Lyn appears unfazed by my revelation, but hints of emotion flare up across her body. Her hands tense up slightly, and I swore to have seen them briefly nudge towards the sword on her wrist. Her breaths become tense and quick...but that's where the aggression ended. Lyn has no intention in bringing harm to me, and while confusion surrounds the intricacies of this new development, what she did next really took that down for a loop.

She...hugged me.

Her grasp was tight, but not so much as to inflict pain. In fact, the opposite was true. Her hands caressed by sore back like they were made of feathers, and her arms held me close in a manner reminding me of comfy pillows. The warmth of her body rubbing up against me melted the coldest corners of my heart...and I...didn't know what to do with myself. The sudden rush of emotions was too much to bear, so I handled it the only way I could.

I cried. Tears fell down the sides of my face and onto the ground like I'd were a leaky faucet. All the trauma, all the injuries, all the terrifying memories. It all came crashing down at once. I've become a slave to my emotions, a pitiful shadow of the hard, unwavering rock I used to be.

Used to be...

I remember the old me, a version of myself unaffected by the evils of war and loss. I remember the optimism bursting through my skin, the unfettered sharpness of my mind, and the mornings spent free from debilitating pain. My blood was yet to be tainted with the painkillers I take daily, and neither did the scars that cover nearly half my body...

I...yearn for those days. It's only been a year, but I hold those days spent with limited responsibility close to my heart. I felt...so free. Perhaps that's part of the reason I find myself coming back to Lyn, perhaps it's all a ploy to hang on to this fleeting sense of nostalgia. I should know better than this, I should be above it. Thankfully though, it appears Lyn felt the same way.

In my time attending to her as Jean, I grew to understand the unfortunate predicament Lyn found herself in. She's a plainswoman deep in the intricacies of noble life, a life she'd never preferred to take on to begin with. I can see it in her eyes...the loss that grips her psyche. The memories of the lush, green grass of Sacae call out to her, twisting her heart further and further with each passing day. I'm helpless to help her as her as a butler...but as her worthwhile friend? That may be a different story.

Other than Lani's safety, nothing means more to me than securing a future where Lyn would be happy back in the place she loved. Whether it involved me in that future didn't matter, as I doubted I had much time in this world. By my own estimates, I predicted I might last anywhere between two to three decades. I need to spend my final years of sanity making sure I do what I can for those that I love...

No matter what it takes.

Wiping a tear from my face, I bring Lyn closer to my body. I desired to determine what spurred Lyn to have a sudden and unexpected change of heart, so I collect my wits and string together a single question.

I asked, "You're...not going to attack me?"

Lyn lightly shakes her head and speaks with a familiar, serene tone. She said, "No, but we have much to talk about. I swear, I nearly had a heart attack when I found you concussed after that explosion."

I balked, "CONCUSSED?! You're meaning to tell me I got another concussion?"

That made another among many. I'm not sure if it even mattered. This single occurrence served as a mere drop in a much larger bucket.

Lyn replied, "I'm afraid so. It's surprising to me you had no idea. Neither one of the clerics told you?"

I shake my head silently. Perhaps I was too carefree when I angered Serra, or too shortsighted when I pulled Priscilla's heartstrings. They probably would've informed me of this travesty had I shut up and been a good patient...but hindsight is 20/20. Then again, I should've known this to begin with. What other result could have come from an explosion like that? It should've killed me.

I said, "N-No. That was partly my doing—anyway, that's besides the point. How are you doing, Lyn?"

She replied, "Hmmm…before we do that...here..."

Lyn grabs my hand and beckons me to sit down next to her on the lush, green Lycian meadow. I oblige and let my tired eyes to droop a little in exhaustion. Despite the near week I'd spent in a coma, I still felt incredibly sleep-deprived from my past insomniac episodes. I pondered letting them shut for a brief moment of repose, but my guardian angel keeps me awake.

S: Don't sleep. You don't have my permission to sleep until you sort this out...

Facing back towards my lone companion, I said, "Thank you. I must apologize, Lyn. My past actions have stained my soul with sin, and along with that, my psyche. I'm so tired...so very tired..."

I lean forward and lose consciousness. Several seconds pass, and when I come to, my head comfortably pressed against Lyn's lap. Between my mind numbing potion and overarching sense of exhaustion, I'm too dazed to notice the scandalous nature of this action. I simply turn over and meet the green orbs that belonged to my most trusted mistress.

Green...not glistening gold. So full of life...

I said, "This...this isn't right. What will...Lord Eliwood say of this?"

Lyn lifted her hand to her mouth and giggled. She said, "Oh my, so you've heard of that? That's just a front he and I used to keep those nosy suitors away..."

Lyn spends the next half hour explaining to me the true relationship between her and Eliwood. To my astonishment, what they had between them was not loving affection, but in fact strategic deception. So many suitors had approached the duo that they grew fed up with it, and together they schemed to rid themselves of these noble pests...

I asked, "But why would you do something like that? Surely your grandfather desires to keep the bloodline alive?"

Lyn replied, "True, but what's the fun in tying myself to a crummy noble? I wanted more time to find the person I wanted to be with...and Eliwood felt the same way too..."

Eliwood, much like Lyn, held more progressive views for marriage. They believed in marrying for love and disavowed the norm of arranged hitching. However, such views did not sit well with most Lycia's nobility. This led them to partake in deceitful courtship, fooling everybody down to their closest friends...and me.

Blast. Had I let Eliwood talk for a bit longer, I would have found this out when I was eavesdropping on him and Hector. To think I busted up my hand over this...

"Hm? Sam, why is your face red all of a sudden?"

The thought makes my head look like a cherry, and I turn away. Lyn simply laughs and brushes my hair with her hand, playing with my black curls in a manner reminiscent of my mother...

I said, "I-It's nothing."

Rolling her eyes, she replied, "Suuuure. Tell me, when was the last time you've gotten a haircut? I haven't seen your head look this much like a jungle since last year."

Last year, it's been that long since we've spoken like this. That's all memory serves, anyway...

I said, "I haven't tended to my hair for about three months. Back to the time when I still shared my days with my little Lani..."

I tell her about Lumina's daughter, Laniakea. I speak for hours about the mission Lumina entrusted me with, and the lengths I went about achieving her final wish. Lyn grimaces when I speak about the moment I severed my hand and let a stray tear fall down her face when she and I finally accepted one another. Finally, she holds my hand tightly when I spoke about the joy we shared peacefully in Höger.

She said, "Wow...she sounds like quite the princess. I can really feel the happiness in your voice when you speak about her. Do you dote on her much?"

I smiled, "Of course I do! What type of guardian would I be if I didn't shower her with unconditional love?!"

Lyn smiles back, though this time I feel like it was to convey something much more than individual happiness. Perhaps it had something to do with her own plans for the future, and the comfort in knowing that I worked well with kids. Then again, I can't ever tell what's going on in her mind. Lyn of the Lorca is an enigma with an independent mind, and that's one thing I just loved about her.

Naturally, this led to a question I didn't have joy in answering. She asked, "So, when can I meet this little tike myself?"

"..."

My face turns stone cold, and my eyes shift away from Lyn's. We spend a moment in silence, and gradually Lyn infers what this meant.

She muttered, "I see. I'm sorry, Samuel."

Hearing Lyn's concerned remark, I feel like I owed her a proper explanation. But, instead something else comes out. Something much more heart-to-heart. I replied, "You know, I became her guardian because I wanted to give something that her good-for-nothing biological father is incapable of. Love, the means to survive, and protection. I failed to protect my dear girl...and it's all my fault. If only I'd taken us to a place more safe...if only I'd been more mindful of the people I surrounded us with."

I use my hands to cover my face, but I didn't cry as I'd already exhausted my tear glands. Instead, I close my eyes and think for a while with Lyn listening patiently...

Woe is me. I thought. Why does misfortune follow me wherever I go? My only respite is the woman whose lap I'm resting on, but how long will that be the case? I'm not a perfect man...and I have a lot of baggage. My physical trauma being one of them...

Ugh...

I wince in silence as a flash of discomfort streaks across my forehead. It feels sharp, like a knife performing a lobotomy through my frontal lobe. Breaking into a cold sweat, I clench my fist to solicit some feeling from my fingers, but the effort fails. My entire body quickly takes on a veil of numbness, along with an accompanying migraine...

"Samuel?"

A haze permeates through every space in my eye, and my breathing becomes sparse. Dots of light dance around my cone of vision like fleas gnawing at some primordial plane. My hand shakes uncontrollably against the warm late summer air, but an external force keeps it still. At first, I don't understand where this could be coming from...but a serene voice puts me at ease...

It's a bit ironic. This was the same thing that happened to me when we first met. When she came across by my crumpled body in Sacae…

Lyn said, "Samuel...oh my, Samuel. This pain's been affecting you every day, hasn't it? The constant blows the head...most of them come from the time you spent leading the legion. It's not just that too...I saw it when you took on the persona of Jean. I can see the concealed pain in your eyes when you walk..."

Tears streak down the sides of her face, and I sense something splash onto mine. Although I couldn't feel its temperature, I understood the pain and regret behind it. Her grasp on me grew tighter, and her heart beats against mine as she hugged my near-comatose body.

She said, "Sam...this is all my fault. If only you'd never been involved with me, none of this would have ever happened. I'm such a fool...I can't forgive myself for how I treated you in the past. I should've helped you just as you helped me, but I left you out to die in the winter plain. Sam...please forgive me..."

My head was too much of a mush for me to take much meaning from this. Even then, my subconscious instincts push me to provide a reassuring reply.

"Lyn...you have it all wrong. This is my fault. If only...I were more careful. If only...I were less weak."

Lyn said, "No...you have it all wrong. What you went through isn't normal. If I'd been a better companion for you, I would have stuck it with you all the way. Had I supported you...perhaps you never would have succumbed to the demon's honeyed words. We would have spent all this time together in Castle Caelin, and your dear Laniakea safe and sound."

"Lyn...I..."

"Shhhh...I know."

Lyn raises her finger to my lip, and I fall silent. The world felt like it was going round and round...but I still focused my attention on the love of my life. The egmatic Lyn of the Lorca. Esteemed hunter, lover of endless seas of grass, and ultimately, one of the few reasons I still derived from meaning from my existence.

I wanted to open my mouth and say the words I'd been keeping dear to my heart for months. But...I'd reached the limits of my torn body. Instead, Lyn tucks me back on her lap and shifts my head so I'm looking back on the stars. Stars I'd grown fond of since that faithful day with Lumina. Passing into unconsciousness, I think about the plethora of questions still unanswered, but Lyn reaffirms the one thing I feared we lost.

She said, "Sam...I see life in a new way now. My heart is set. I don't know how I can reconcile the ways of my culture with our past, but I know we can do it if we try. Just rest your eyes now. Samuel...I..."

"I love you. I lost you once, but I swear I won't lose you again..."


A/N: This will be my last chapter written in 1st Person. Very soon Samuel will become too much of a unreliable narrator, so I have to write the story from the perspective of other characters. Don't worry though, he and Lyn will continue to contain most of the focus.