The Pivotal Moment

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A/N-thank you for kindly reviewing this story!

Chapter Eighteen-Lapse in Control

There was so many emotions crossing Rey's lovely face, it seemed she was struggling to settle on one. Ben breathed deeply, his chin quivering slightly as he continued to hold out his hand toward her, his warm brown eyes infused with desperation, and longing.

"I know you can feel it, Rey." Ben said huskily. "That something inside you that has always been there. And since we met, now its awake, and you're afraid."

A small gasp passed Rey's lips and there was a slight widening of her eyes. "How do you know this?" She whispered.

"Because we're connected." Ben extended his hand further, mentally willing her to take it. "I know you, Rey. Maybe better than you know yourself right now."

"That's impossible!" Rey denied hotly, but the glimmer of tears in her hazel eyes stated otherwise. "Why are you saying all this?"

Ben panicked when she began to withdraw from him. The tentative emotional connection they'd made in the short time they had been together was becoming skewed. She glared at him defensively, her lips pressed so tightly together they looked almost bloodless. "Please, Rey, listen to me. I know you're finding it hard to trust me. You've spent your whole life isolated and alone. I understand…."

"You know nothing about me or my life!" Rey snapped bitterly. "You've been raised in privilege with two loving parents and a whole galaxy that adores you. The great Ben Solo, the heir to the legacy of the Skywalkers!"

What she had described was so far removed from his own personal reality that her words were like a slap in the face. Resentment shot through him and he lost control momentarily. His lapse conjured up the force; the jolt of power ran ragged through his mind, shooting right into Rey's. She wasn't prepared for the mental onslaught of his harrowing memories. She collapsed to the ground, clutching her head in agony. Image after confusing image flashed in front of her like some crazy holo-novel, but instead of being one step removed from the character's painfilled emotions, she felt every single one of them.

Ben was horrified at what he'd done. He dropped to his knees beside her, intent on sweeping her up into his arms to comfort her and beg forgiveness, but was stopped cold when Finn's voice sounded behind him.

"What the hell has happened here?"

Rey whimpered as she slowly began to recover from the horror show of Ben's nightmarish memories. She opened her eyes, her throat closing in silent panic when she saw him crouching over her.

"I'm sorry." Ben projected into her mind. The anguish and guilt were clear in his tone, as well as on his face. He was like an open book, hiding nothing from her. "I'm not the Ben Solo from this world."

Trembling, Rey rejected the hand he offered to help her to rise, and instead scrambled to her feet on her own volition. Her gaze travelled to an exasperated Finn who was still demanding answers.

"Is anyone going to give me an explanation?" Finn grabbed Ben's arm to help him up, but Ben shrugged him off, stepping back and creating distance between them. The brush off just annoyed Finn further. "What is going on with you, Ben? You're acting weird…" He paused, his brows drawing down in a suspicious from as his gaze landed on Rey. "It's ever since you met this one." He finally continued, his tone turning accusatory. "Do you have him under some kind of spell or something, scavenger?"

Rey licked her lips, her eyes flashing to Ben. He looked at her imploringly, pleading silently for her understanding. She met his intense gaze steadily for a few seconds, before focusing her attention back on Finn. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Finn huffed out an impatient breath and put his hands on his hips. He regarded them both thoughtfully. "I'm beginning to think this damn desert heat is getting to you." He said to Ben.

"I think he might be suffering from heat stroke." Rey offered as an explanation.

Ben felt a rush of gratitude flow through him. Even though he had completely freaked her out, she appeared willing to keep what had happened a secret. Whether this was because she didn't want an interrogation from Finn, or was still trying to process what had happened, he couldn't say. She was definitely edgy. Ben expected her to flee at any moment. He wished there was a way to ditch Finn so they could have a proper conversation.

"When we get back to base, you should get checked out." Finn seemed to have accepted Rey's explanation for Ben's odd behaviour. "Now we really need to go. We've already lingered here too long." He glanced at Rey, frowning slightly again. "I'm sorry if I came across as rude. Just put it down to stress. It was nice meeting you, Rey. Maybe our paths will cross again one day." A broad smile lit up his face as he held out his hand toward Rey.

"I doubt it." Rey replied warily as she ignored his proffered hand.

Finn just shrugged, not put out at all by her rejection. He was entirely focused on getting off the godforsaken desert planet. "Come on, Ben. I've scouted around. It doesn't look like Plutt has the ship under guard or anything. It should be easy to get in the Falcon and be away before he's even aware of what's happening."

"I'm not going anywhere without Rey." Ben answered stubbornly. He saw Finn shoot him another odd look, but he just ignored him. "Rey?" He extended his hand toward her, pleading with his eyes for to take it. He waited for her to reject him just like she had Finn. A soft panic began to flower inside him. Everything depended on what she did next.

"Ben, what are you doing? Come on!" Finn said impatiently.

"Rey." Ben's mouth didn't move as he projected his voice into Rey's mind. He saw the slight widening of her eyes. She was wavering, he could feel it. "Please! I'll explain everything, I promise. You have to trust me."

"I don't trust anyone." Rey's tentative response was like a butterfly fluttering gently inside his head. She was looking at him curiously, her expression disbelieving. "Can you hear me like I can hear you? How is this happening?"

"I can hear you." Ben looked at her earnestly, his hand still open and extended toward her. "If you want to know more, then you need to take my hand."

"You said you weren't the Ben Solo of this world. What did you mean?" Rey demanded again. She wasn't going to be won over so easily. "Those things I saw…." Her breath hitched as the enormity of what she had witnessed overwhelmed her.

"They were my memories." Ben cut in before she could ask anymore.

Finn had no idea what was going on during their silent exchange. Ben and Rey were standing perfectly still in front of each other-he was holding out his hand toward her-her eyes flitted from his face to his hand as if fighting some internal battle. Finn had never seen Ben act like this before, it was like he was a completely different person. He couldn't understand why his friend was suddenly so attached to this girl-this scavenger.

Ben felt like his world was slowly disappearing in front of him. Or maybe it was just him fading away. The longer Rey hesitated, the harder it was for him to breathe. His lungs were burning, his heart was hitting his chest so hard he thought it would break his ribs. All those dark memories he had unloaded on Rey, of course she would reject him. She should. A black hole opened up inside his head, lifting the lid on the deep void in his soul, it slowly swallowed all his hopes and dreams. The realisation of the vacuum, the nothingness, the absurdity of his existence. His anxiety turned to a waking panic and he closed his eyes in despair. An image of Snoke's throne room spilled into his mind unbidden and he began to relive the worst memory of his life-Rey's death. Ben saw himself picking up her broken body, cradling her against his chest as he called to the Jedi, both past and present, begging them to help him.

"Be with me! Help me to find her! Please…"

"I'm here. I'm right here."

Rey's voice rang inside his head, strong and true. Soft hands closed around his trembling fingers, stilling them. Ben opened his eyes to find Rey standing in front of him. The brilliance of her hazel eyes calmed his rapid breathing. He was mesmerised by the deep swirls of brown that coloured her pupils.

"You saw?" His question was like a whisper in the wind inside her mind.

Rey nodded, her compassionate gaze never leaving his face. "I'll come with you, Ben Solo." There were so many questions in her eyes, but she didn't voice them aloud, not with Finn watching their every interaction.

Rey was like a bright star in his hopelessly dark universe. Ben felt like he was drowning with no chance of being saved. The blackness of his memories that had started to spread through his mind, clouding his thoughts and taking him back to places he never wanted to revisit, were banished when Rey had made the decision to reach out to him. She was his ray of light in the darkness of his past. She was his anchor, guiding him back to reality.

"We need to move!" Finn's cutting remark broke them apart. "Ben?" He demanded.

Ben felt bereft when Rey let go of his hand. He wanted to grab hers and never let go. "We're ready." He muttered, reluctantly tearing his thirsty gaze from Rey's lovely face and focusing on Finn instead.

"We?" Finn's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Why do I suddenly feel like a third wheel here? Are you ever going to tell me what's going on?"

"No." Ben replied curtly as he shot Finn an irritated glance. "You wanted to go. Let's go."

"Whatever." Finn snapped, irked by Ben's sharp tone. He stalked off in a huff, leaving a reluctant Ben and Rey to follow in his wake.

A/N-thanks for reading. Please review!