Nyx POV
The alarm went off and Scarlett, who was closer smashed at it until it stopped. I leaned up on my elbows and saw that she'd broken it. I chuckled and Scarlett hid her head under her pillow.
"Oh, god, my head," Clarke moaned. "How much did I drink last night?"
"Um, six beers, I think," I replied.
She opened a glaring eye and asked, "Didn't you drink like three times that? How are you freaking sober? You are sober, right?"
"I hate you, Nyx," Scarlett said from underneath the pillow. "You and your damn high tolerance and fucking metabolism."
I chuckled, "It's not my fault it's near impossible to get me drunk. I was only pleasantly buzzed. And by the way, there was less than three minutes before the both of you passed out."
"Fuck you."
"Yeah, what she said," Clarke grumbled.
"Want me to make you feel better," I asked.
"Oh, god, please make this go away."
Laughing, I laid my hands on them and they let out groans of relief as their hangovers went away. Clarke sat up slowly, making sure that she was able to as Scarlett snaked an arm around my waist and pulled me to her making me yelp in surprise. She straddled me and pinned me down on the bed. I looked up at her questioningly and she gave me slow grin as she leaned down and kissed me. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her closer. She shivered as my fire skimmed over her skin and moaned in pleasure. Clarke wasn't about to be left out and I arched my back as she laid a hand on me. I pulled her closer and we spent way more than 10 minutes in bed.
We showered and dressed in companionable silence. Clarke went and checked the closet, but it was empty.
"Wonder when they left," Scarlett said, draping an arm around her shoulders.
"Don't know, but it was definitely after I fell asleep," I replied as I led the way to the kitchen.
Seph and Ben were there eating their breakfast. We made our own and joined them at the table.
Seph looked at me and said, "I expected to see you down here several hours ago."
"I would've been," I replied, genially, "but these two had other ideas. How's everyone else?"
"Down in medical," she replied with a grin. "They all had hangovers. Tommy and Raven were the last to leave the house."
I grinned and said, "Oh, really?"
She grinned back and said, "They didn't look none the worse for wear, but I think he's winning her over."
"Good," Clarke said, "She needs someone that isn't a machine or computer."
"So, Seph, what's on the agenda today?"
"You and I need to go over those reports I told you about. Then there's the Council meeting at two. Wall and house inspection after. Meeting with Clarke's Council at four. Technos immediately after that. Guard inspection before dinner."
"That's not too bad," I said. "I just wish that it could be a joint meeting, Seph. I hate having to repeat myself."
"Yeah, well our Council refuses to speak about pack business in front of non-pack members. Bunch of stuck up stick in the muds."
I sighed, "They are most definitely that, especially since this involves all of us. Do we know where Jaha's at?"
"It looks like you were right," Ben said. "He's heading towards the Eastern Border."
I nodded, "He wants to look like he's made his way from Old Towne, try and hope that we didn't know where's he been."
"You got a plan for when he gets here," Clarke asked.
"I actually do. Since he's been branded with Ice Packs sigil, he officially belongs to them. We'll scar out the brand that came from us if the slaver hasn't already done that and call in a retrieval team."
"Retrieval team?"
"That's right. There are people who hunt down runaway slaves and sell them back to the people who own them. They actually make a tidy little profit from it. I know a guy that'll be more than willing to get him. I owe him a favor anyway. It'll make us square."
"I won't ask," Clarke said, shaking her head.
"Good idea," replied Scarlett.
"Where's Cora," I asked Seph.
"She hasn't made it back from medical yet," she replied. "Poor girl spent the night being intimate with a toilet."
I grimaced, "Ew. I hope they sober her up quick. The two of you will be at both Council meetings."
"Do I have to," she whined.
"You're my Second, kiddo. Thems the rules."
"Stupid bomb," she grumbled and then realized what she said, "Sorry."
"It was a stupid bomb, but I got them and they are dead. You'll find out everything at the meeting."
Everyone finished their breakfast and we headed in opposite directions. Clarke and Scarlett headed out to check on Lexa and Dani while Ben headed to the techno lab. Seph and I grabbed a carafe of coffee and headed into the office.
I sat behind the desk and started pulling papers to me, "Alright, let's see what we got."
We got to work on the guard rosters and I was glad for the additional numbers. We set up rotations so that they wouldn't be stuck just watching the wall or guarding the bunker. We figured three week rotations and rotated the first batch. That would go to Lincoln, but first I needed to talk to him.
Twenty minutes later, Lincoln arrived while we were sorting through the food supplies.
"You wanted to see me, Pakstoka," he asked.
I waved him over to me and he sat in one of the chairs. I handed him the postings and he looked them over.
"This is more than doable," he replied.
"Good," I said nodding, "but there's going to be some adjustments in a moment."
"Why's that?"
"I need a team, spec ops, to head to Northeast Pack. One of the men was a spy for the Coalition. I need you to go to his residence and search the property for any intel that's to be found there. He's got a safe hidden in his bedroom that I want brought back intact. Arrest his family members and bring them here. There's also a cabin on the other side of the border, a tunnel leading to it. That's where most of the information is at. I need everything there. The cabin is warded and probably his house, too. I've got both of his hands preserved to keep the wards from destroying the buildings. I'm also going to need a detachment sent there and to the border. All high ranking officials from Pakstoka to the Garrison Commander are to be removed from their posts. They've been compromised. The borders are shut down already, but I want the detachment staying there until new people can be appointed. Keep their minds and mouths intact for interrogation later. I could care less about their bodies."
"That's easy enough to handle," he replied. "How soon do you want them deployed?"
"Sunset. Pick your men and then come back with the adjusted postings. I'll look it over for approval and let you know either tonight or first thing in the morning."
"Is that all?"
"Yes," I replied. "Dismissed."
He stood up and bowed his head and said, "Pakstoka," and left.
"Okay, you have got to tell me what's going on," Seph said.
"I will," I replied. "Once Cora gets back."
We got back to work and around 11, Cora showed up still looking green around the edges.
"Are you gonna make it," I asked upon seeing her.
She nodded, "I should."
I sighed and motioned her to come over. I healed the last of her hangover sickness and she sat down and poured herself a cup of coffee.
"Alright," I said. "Here's what happened."
I explained to them everything that I had learned and my suspicions as to why. I had to control the slow burning rage that had settled in my chest and the need to avenge the deaths of the innocent bystanders. There was no way that I could confront the Coalition without a strong case to bring against them. The hardest part was that I could not go to anyone higher than them. I could only hope that they would recompense the cost of relocation and rebuilding and an apology.
We broke for lunch and with as much confidence as we could muster, headed over to speak with my Council. They greeted us with the respect we deserved and we got down to business.
"Can you now tell us what exactly happened on solstice," Councilor Gardner asked.
I nodded, "I can. Councilor Kilpatrick set off an explosive that was meant to kill Lexa Devereux and myself in order to create chaos that would leave us vulnerable to the Coalition. He was recruited by the Coalition to spy on the northeastern border and the Forest Pack. He's been feeding them information for at least 14 years now. I'm sending a retrieval team to gather up any and all information that's he's kept over the years. Once that's given to me, I'll be able to discern exactly what they've been told and figure out a way to spin any information that could be damaging to us."
"Is the Northeastern Pack compromised," Council Stevens asked.
"Unfortunately, it is. He bribed every official in the pack in order to be elected to the Council. They'll be removed and a detachment of guards will be placed there until new people can be appointed to their posts. I can guarantee you that I will be dealing with this personally. This is the second border pack that has been compromised. I already now that you have no ill intentions towards the pack, but I ask that you investigate your officials and make sure that there is nothing stewing within your packs."
"And Councilor Drovich," Councilor Salinas of the Southeastern Pack asked.
"He conspired with Kilpatrick to kill me," I said, my voice cold. "As you all know, I'm an anomaly. I have five powers that have yet to be defined on a power scale. As such, he believed that for the safety of the pack, I needed to be eliminated."
"For whatever reason, he had thirty guard members in his employ," Seph informed them. "This possibly extends to the fact that prior to Lexa's endeavors in the Western Pack, he helped with getting information in and out for the Ice Pack. He readily admitted that he helped the Ice Pack spy escape after the incident on the Northern Border."
"I don't understand," Councilor Gardner said. "You've been nothing but an asset since you took up your position as Second the first go around."
I gave her a small smile and replied, "Thank you Councilor Gardner for that kindness. Like with many things, when we come across something different, something that doesn't fit the mold or ideal, we usually search for a way to destroy it. With me, it's no different. Outside of our borders, if anyone ever learned the extent of my powers or the simple fact that I have five, I would either be killed or captured and experimented upon. The number of powers that I possess is unheard of and the same thing goes for my seemingly unlimited power and strength. Even among the werewolves, I'm stronger, bigger, fiercer and nearly as fast as Dani Rendon. I'm not saying this to brag or make you fearful of me. This is just simply fact. It's why I'm such a closely guarded secret."
"Speaking of your powers, Pakstoka," Councilor Adamson of the Southwest Pack said, "Can we still shield the territory from the Ice Pack and the Coalition."
I nodded, "Yes. It's my intention that as soon as our techno mages have figured out how to do it, it'll be done. In order for that to happen, I also need the most up to date data on the topography of the land and exactly where the border lines are. Once that information is complete, we'll coordinate with the Gate Commanders so that we can set the entrances of the ward up simultaneously. It's not going to be quick because this is going to take precision and timing. On the day that it happens, I need everyone away from the border for that day. I can't have anyone sneaking out or going near the areas where the ward and shield will go nor where the poles will be placed. You must impress upon your packs the importance of this."
They nodded agreement and I said, "Good. Now we also have a bit of new business. Councilors, this is Cora Allistar," I said and motioned for her to come forward. "As of yesterday, she has been adopted into my family and as such is my chosen successor. She is also another closely guarded pack secret of the highest order. She's a null. Only in the sense that no power can harm or have any affect on her. It's been tested and proven."
The stared at her and she ducked her head in embarrassment.
"Whatever is coming is something that is earth changing. I don't know what it is or how or when. Mother Earth has just told me that there is something and we, as a pack, are at the center of it. It's why the Manassas bunker opened. It's why I'm as powerful as I am. It's why Cora is a null. It's why I'm bonded to four women. It's why Lexa Devereux and Clarke Griffin have a lifebond. Because of this, we need to protect our pack and territory at all costs, that goes for the humans as well. I cannot stress enough to you how important it is to find a solution to the human problem. I believe we will need them to help get us through this."
"It's also why we need the Manassas pack and mages to become part of our pack," Seph informed them. "Each of their Council members are the strongest of their powers. They gave us two techno mages, a lightning mage, two healers, and another pack. We can't toss them off to the side, because they disagree with our human policies or the fact that they respect the humans. We need everyone that came out of that bunker."
"What are you suggesting we do with the humans," Councilor Richards asked.
"We need to figure out a way that will keep them safe and utilize their numbers. It's near impossible for them to understand that we enslave humans and that that is the best they can hope for. They've now been witness to what happens to humans that don't have an owner. Two of theirs were killed in less than 48 hours. Three of them were caught and sold into slavery. The last one is struggling to survive. They know what's waiting for them outside the borders. Now, we just have to convince them that our intention is not to beat them down and break their spirits once they have owners. Or figure out another way to get them to compromise with us."
"Compromise with humans," Councilor Saldanas asked, slightly offended at the notion.
"Yes, Councilor Salinas. Compromise. If they want to live here in safety than they need to be willing to give up what they believe are their rights and bow down to the idea of slavery or we need to come up with some kind of arrangement that give both sides what we need."
"You know that this is going to take us awhile to come up with ideas that they may find satisfactory."
"I do, but I also have to remind you, Councilors, that we have a time limit. Winter solstice has just passed. We have until the end of Spring to come up with a solution and have it implemented. At the end of Spring, I have to speak with the Coalition over many matters that affect the pack. I'd prefer to have this decided by April."
"Why April, if you don't mind me asking," she said.
"I need time to build a case against Ice Pack and the Coalition, and finalize what's going on here. I'd like to go to the Coalition before my time's up, Councilor."
"I understand," she said, nodding.
"Good," I said. "Now is there anything that you, Councilors, need to bring to my attention?"
"Our only concern, Pakstoka," Councilor Adamson said, "is when will we be able to have access to our families? I only ask this because we're usually home celebrating with them."
"I understand your concern, Councilor," I said, my voice soft with regret. "Once we get the shield up and handle the Northeast pack, I'd like you to be able to go home and be with your families. I know this is a difficult time for you, being away from them and having restricted access in your communications and I'm sorry for that. Just, please, give this some time. That's all I ask."
"Thank you for that," she said. "We're all willing to help you with this any way we can. Once you have everything you need, we'll coordinate with our packs and make sure that everything is done."
"Thank you," I said, sighing. "Now, if there's nothing else you'd like to discuss, I'd like to end this meeting. Just remember that our priority are the humans and the people of Manassas."
They nodded and left, quietly murmuring among themselves. I stood up and stretched before I turned to the girls.
"Thoughts," I asked, leaning against the table.
"They were surprisingly reasonable," Seph said as she leaned back in her chair.
"Any guesses as to why?"
"It's because of the bomb and the fact that it was the Coalition that tried to kill you and Lexa," Cora said.
I nodded, "Yes. Oftentimes, fear can be a very powerful motivator. Even though we have a council that can run the pack, they don't want to have that kind of responsibility."
"Especially, after the way the Devereuxs and Allistars have successfully kept the pack at peace."
"True. Other territories have had multiple civil wars where one pack or clan or whatever tries to gain control over the territory. It leaves the territory in constant turmoil. There's only two other territories that are semi-peaceful, the Floridian Territory and the Sofstepa Territory."
"They're also frightened of you."
I quirked an eyebrow and replied, "Why do you think that, Cora?"
She blushed and fidgeted with her jacket a bit before answering, "They're afraid of you because of your powers and how powerful they are, but that's just one reason. In a way, you're like the ultimate predator. You're stronger, faster, more powerful, you're more cunning than the rest of us, deadlier, and you're senses are probably pretty heightened, too. You are legitimately on top of the food chain. The Apex."
"So, why not just kill me, like Drovich wanted to," I asked, curious to hear her answer.
"Simply put, they need you. If what you say is true, that there is something coming that can change the world as we know it, they want to make sure that you're on their side. They're not going to risk pissing you off and possibly blowing their only chance to survive."
"Would they kill me once the threat is permanently removed?"
She thought about this and then answered, "I don't think so. Like Councilor Gardner said, you've been nothing but an asset to the pack. From what I've heard about you and by your reputation, you've never used your ultimate Apex dominance to get your way or do anything like that. You've bent over backwards to make sure that people are taken care of. You treat everyone with equal amounts of respect. You don't ask anyone to do anything that you wouldn't be willing to do yourself. You've been proven to be a good commander. And lastly, you don't want to be de Pakstoka. You're happy serving as the Second."
"And yet, I was banished because that's what people believed," I said as I looked at her intently.
"Not the majority of the people that knew you or had interacted with you on a daily basis," she countered. "It's possible that the reason why they put that pressure on Lexa is because they were jealous of all that you had. They wanted your power. Your influence."
"Interesting," I said and looked at the time and then sighed, "That's an interesting insight, Cora. Keep thinking like that. We've got an hour before the next meeting, so we'd better get to inspecting."
We left the Council House and began inspecting the homes. I was starting to realize that they were more important than the wall and I told them that. We agreed that we'll pull the mages from the wall and start more earnestly on making as many houses and apartment buildings habitable. The second wall would be built, but it was more important for people to have suitable shelter. We'd already sent orders out to retrieve the food stores in Clifton and the people of Clifton would be bringing their own. Electricity and water and sewage were already repaired, but we did need to find people to maintain their operations.
We arrived at the second council meeting on time and we repeated the process. Of course, this time we were there as representatives of the Forest Pack and therefore our role was one of support rather than lead.
"Pakstoka," Kane said, drawing my attention to him, "I have to ask, is there a chance of retaliation from the Coalition or anything of that kind once they know that Kilpatrick has been found out?"
I smiled and shook my head, "That's not how it works, Councilor. He was placed deep undercover with one contact. Since he's been found out they'll remove any information that they have that would indicate any involvement with him. For all intents and purposes, he did this all on his own. This is, of course, what will happen once word reaches them that they no longer have an asset within our territory."
"We're hoping that we'll be able to find proof otherwise," Seph said. "Something more substantial than emails or paperwork that they can't easily be argued as being fabricated."
"What kind of proof would that be," Clarke asked.
"The best would be to find any footage of Kilpatrick and any of the higher echelons interacting with one another outside the border and speaking about business. And I must stress outside the border. Forest Pack, as you know, does not really leave the territory unless there's a need to. Like when Gustus went looking for me. Otherwise, I'd need enough paperwork that screams Coalition involvement before they'd even consider that they were involved. Then most likely they will say that it was a rogue employee and blah, blah, blah," I said. "They'll deny any knowledge of it and swear that they'd never intentionally do that, but we all know that they do."
"So, you don't really expect anything from bringing what happened to their attention besides platitudes and perhaps monetary compensation for the damages," Kane said.
I sighed, "Pretty much, but it's main intention is to make them aware that we're aware of what they're up to. Make them tread more carefully with us."
"Have you officially commandeered Manassas," Bellamy asked.
I nodded, "For the time being. You guys still have complete autonomy and we won't interfere in your day to day operations. The housing of the citizens of Clifton is meant to be temporary until we can either rebuild the damage and secure the city or find a new capital. Honestly, it'll be up to Lexa to decide which way we go."
"With the arrival of your people," Bellamy asked, "will my people be at greater risk?"
"Are we speaking about the ones that leave the bunker for work detail or in general?"
"The work details."
"No, they won't. Since they're still under guard, the citizens won't interfere with your people. They may take a wider berth around the detail and do the whole spectacle of what they think of humans, but they wouldn't dare harm them in any way. And speaking of your people, Councilor, how are they doing?"
"Honestly, they're feeling restless. They're beginning to fight among themselves more because they're bored. Maintaining the bunker or working in the greenhouses, meat packing plant and dairy farm isn't enough to keep them occupied or ease their worry."
"Have they brought you any ideas on how to alleviate that boredom," I asked as some thoughts started going through my head.
"Outside of leaving the bunker permanently, you mean?"
I nodded and he replied, "The bunker only needs a few people to keep it operational. I believe if they have more to do, maybe what they were trained for, would help alleviate the issues."
"Do your people have guilds," Cora asked.
"Guilds," he asked her. "What are guilds?"
"A guild is made up of a group of people that have a common craft," she replied. "Like mechanics or some kind of skill. There's usually at least one person that is in charge overall to dole out jobs and whatnot."
"We have various departments," Kane said. "Farm, Water Filtration, Engineering, Sanitation, and things of that nature. They each have a department head. Is this what you're talking about?"
Cora's eyes lit up and she smiled, "That's it exactly," and then turned to me and asked, "Since we are going to have an influx of people coming here, wouldn't it be more prudent to get everyone involved in getting everything up and running and then keeping it operational."
"Possibly," I said, thinking. "It would free up our mages to be able to focus on the more important tasks that need to be accomplished. It'd be a slower process, though, since it would all be done by hand."
"The question, though, is," Seph said, leaning towards Bellamy, "if we allow them this opportunity, what kind of reassurances would we have that they won't try to harm the citizens, Councilor?"
"I'm not sure that I can supply you with an answer right now, but do I have permission to speak with the department heads about this?"
"I don't see where there's harm in having the discussion," Clarke said. "In all honest truth, giving them more to do and allowing them to do it, would probably go a long way to getting them to trust us. Pakstoka?"
"No, I see no problem in having a discussion to broach this subject," I replied. "And you're right, Chancellor. This may very well be something that brings us closer to finding a permanent solution. If my Council sees that the humans are willing to compromise on this and work being surrounded by Apex, it might endear them to be more open about the types of solutions besides removing them completely from the territory."
"Or making them into slaves," Bellamy asked hopefully.
"Maybe, but I think that can be worked around. I have an idea, but I want to keep it close to my chest for a bit, before I broach it. In the meantime, discuss this with your people and maybe let me know what they think, Councilor."
He nodded, "I can do that, Pakstoka."
"Thank you."
"Councilor Reyes," I asked, "How's the shield issue going?"
She looked up in surprise from a tablet and said, "You want to have this discussion now?"
"Why not," I said shrugging. "They're going to find out whether we have this discussion in private or not."
"In that case, we're just about done creating a working model to test the shield. It'll be done by this evening," she said.
I nodded, "Will you be adding a ward around the perimeter to see if the shield can work in tandem with it?"
"Yes, actually," she replied, giving me a grin. "Ben told us that it would be more beneficial if they're tied together to make sure that when the ward is unlocked that section of the shield would turn off without taking the whole shield down."
"Which means that the shield would have to go into the ward itself. Kind of like an arm through a sleeve," Seph said.
Raven grinned wide and replied, "That's what we're thinking. Not a bad analogy, kid."
"Why is that important," Octavia asked.
Raven turned to her and replied, "Tying the two together like that would actually strengthen the area of influence, double protection. We would then create a doorway that's still strong and wouldn't compromise the infrastructure and when closed, it would stay sealed. Like our contamination system in the bunker."
"It's the best idea since the shield needs a semi-solid foundation to sit on," I supplied. "The ward acts as the foundation."
"Is it because when we place wards, we anchor them underground to keep them in place," Nate asked.
I smiled, "Now you're getting it. Yes, that's it exactly and one of the reasons why I want the shield to continue to go underground."
"Why would you want the shield to go underground," Abby asked.
I smiled wide, "Raven, has Ben told you anything about our recon prior to coming here?"
Her eyes widened in surprise and replied, "He did. He told me about the bugs."
"Bugs," Clarke said, confused, and then turned to me and asked, "You planted bugs in our camp?"
I nodded, still grinning, "We did. We needed the information, but that's besides the point. The reason why I was able to get the bugs in here was because the shield doesn't extend underground. All I had to do was tunnel them underneath the wall and they set themselves up."
"Which means that if you can do that, others can as well," Kane said, impressed.
"Exactly. Having the shield extend downward prevents that from happening. The deeper the shield goes, the harder it is for an earth mage to get the device to the other side."
"What do you mean?"
"In order to move something underground without disturbing the surface takes a lot of concentration and focus. The priority is to keep the ground from collapsing on the object. You have to create a pocket of air around it, at the same time creating the tunnel and then letting the tunnel collapse behind it. It's time consuming and if you don't know what you're doing, it could easily lead to someone's death."
"Which means," Raven said thinking, "that we can use the anchor points of the ward to hold the shield in that position."
"Yes," I replied. "Raven, let me forewarn you, this is going to be the hardest thing you've done in your entire life. You're the strongest of the three. You're going to be the one that builds the shield and then meld it to the ward. I'm going to be helping you since it'll be my ward. This is not something that can't be rushed in any way. You do, you'll use more power then is necessary."
"Which will drain me faster."
I nodded, "You cannot let yourself waver from the goal, doubt yourself. You cannot get frustrated at the time it will take to do this. You have to trust yourself implicitly and trust that I'm not going to leave you unprotected or on your own. Ben and Monty will provide you help as much as they can before they have to tap out."
"I understand," she said, the seriousness of her face and voice conflicting with her personality. "This is too important."
"It is."
"What else do we need to get this up and running," Clarke asked.
"I need an up to date topographical map and photos of the entire territory," I replied. "Ben's drones will be able to give me that. I'm building a live model of the territory and I need as much detail as possible. That's the time consuming part for me."
"Where will this be done," Kane asked.
"The indoor training room," I replied. "It's the biggest area to do it in, the quietest, and most easily secured."
"Exactly how big is this going to be?"
"I don't know yet."
"Nyx, that's all the information that I have for you," Raven said, standing up. "I'll let Ben know about the map and photos."
"Thank you," I replied, standing up and stretching as did everyone else. "And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to check on Lexa and Dani."
Seph and Cora took off and Clarke joined me. She wrapped an arm around my waist and leaned her head on my shoulder as we made our way down. Scarlett wasn't there when we entered the room, but neither of us expected her to be. There were too many wounded that needed her help. With unspoken words, she went to Lexa's side and I went to Dani's.
I sat on the bed and took Dani's hand and brought it up to my lips, gently kissing it before I settled it in my lap. I sighed and moved the hair from her face, it looked like she'd had a terrible night.
"I hope you can forgive me for sending you there, Dani," I whispered. "I think I'd die if I lost you. That's how much I love you. The honest truth, Dani, is that I love you deeply and I'd claim you in a heartbeat if you'd let me. Clarke may have opened up my heart, but you've always had a claim on it. Always. You're part of my soul, my love. I wish I could say these words to you when you're awake. I don't know if I can say them again, but I'm going to try."
I couldn't say anymore, because my throat closed up with my emotions and my chest felt too tight to breathe. I leaned down and laid my forehead on hers as I let a few tears escape. I opened my mind to hers and I poured every ounce of love that I had for her into her mind. I poured my heart and soul, trying to show her how much I cared for her without saying the words. I didn't get a response back. I expected that. But I felt so guilty for putting her there. For sending her away from me, even if it was just for one night. That one night that nearly took her away from me. Trembling from the emotions running through me, I kissed her on her lips and wished with all my heart that she would kiss me back.
I sat back up, sighing, as I wiped the tears from my face. I glanced over at Clarke and Lexa and saw that Clarke was struggling as much as I was. I don't know how long we sat there, but we didn't move until Scarlett came in and joined us. We hugged each other and bowed our heads in prayer that they would be okay and would come back to us soon. With heavy hearts, we went back to the compound. We sat with the pack, and I tried to enjoy being around everyone, but it was hard.
When I couldn't take anymore, I thanked Octavia for the meal and headed up to bed. I crawled under the covers and hugged a pillow tightly to me and wept. I fell asleep before they arrived, but my body relaxed as it felt them join me.
